A/N t&s: we love, love, love you guys. seriously. thank you for reading & reviewing & keeping us smiling all freaking day long & for just being you. you're all amazing.

we don't own.

We ride down these living seas
Down these living seas
The waves will come and the deepest feelings
We turn clever thieves to steal the breath from angry seas
Hold me down where blood meets water
Where time and black and white bright blue until you breathe.

And we ride.

"We Ride" Fiction Family

When I came home last night and saw my kid curled up, asleep against a sleeping Bella in my bed, I had an irrational moment. I took them both in and said to myself, This is how it's supposed to be. This is how it always should have been. Bella. Bella was that missing piece in my life that I never even realized was missing.

I stood there and I watched them and I realized that that is exactly what I want to come home to every single night: my son and this warm beautiful woman that cares for both of us endlessly, waiting for me in my bed. Because yes, she's awkward and she's innocent but she's untainted. She gives herself and her heart unconditionally. She's beautiful.

"Bella." I slant her a look. "If you're going to keep picking bad shit, I'm turning the radio off."

She chuckles and shifts in her seat. "Why do you get to decide what's bad and good? I like it. And it's on your iPod. That makes it fair game."

I shake my head but can't help the smile that tugs at my lips because she's become so much more comfortable around me. "It's Finn's music. We're not listening to songs made for three year olds on a six hour drive."

"Well maybe Finn has better taste than you. And you should be focusing on driving, not what I'm doing. Eyes on the road."

"But you're prettier than the road," I say in a whiny voice. She smacks my arm and blushes a bright shade of pink that makes me laugh. I catch her hand and link my fingers with hers. "You shouldn't slap people while they're driving. I'm debilitating your hand for the rest of the ride. Safety hazard."

A small smile crosses her lips and she squeezes my hand once softly. "If you don't wanna listen to music, what do you want to do?"

"Charades?" I offer and lift an eyebrow at her.

She shakes her head. "That would involve your eyes and hands and you need to drive. I'd like to actually make it to where we're going and Finn wouldn't appreciate you offing his best friend. How about you tell me more stories?"

"Stories about what?" I ask and lift both of our hands to turn down the volume before settling them against my leg.

She turns in her seat to face me and rests her head down against it. Her shoes were kicked off about an hour ago and she has one leg tucked up against her chest. "About you, about Finn… anything you want to tell me."

"I want you to meet my parents," I blurt out without even thinking about it. The thought hadn't ever really crossed my mind but hearing the words out loud makes me realize that I really do want that. I look at her through the corner of my eye to assess her reaction. Bella is jittery around people. I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

She freezes and then her eyes widen before she nods, takes a deep breath and swallows hard. "Yeah? Are you sure? I'm not very good with parents. I do that whole word vomit thing and they might think there's something wrong with me."

I breathe out a laugh and lift her hand to press my lips to her knuckles. "That's exactly what they'll love about you. The word vomit. Because it's really cute. And anyway, the two of them are their own breed of weird. Who else would adopt an angry teenage boy?"

She chews on her free thumb and then smiles around it. "If you want me to, I'd really like to. A lot, actually."

"Good." We sit silently for a few minutes with music playing quietly in the background. "So, what do you think of Emmett?"

She cocks her head and laughs at me. Laughs.

"What are you laughing at?"

"You're all over the place today," she says but she sounds totally amused by it. Like I'm adorable or some shit. "They say that comes from nerves. Are you nervous? I mean, um, yeah, Emmett is very… nice."

"I'm not all over the place," I tell her even though I am. "I was just trying to make conversation."

She chuckles and ducks her head. "Emmett is nice enough, a little large for me, but nice."

I shake my head. I totally want to fuck with her. "You don't have to lie to me, Bella. I mean, I definitely don't like your… friend Matt but I acknowledge that he's your friend."

"You mean Mike? What does Mike have to do with Emmett? I'm not lying."

"Bella, I've known Emmett for almost ten years. Nobody has ever described him as nice before."

She starts chewing on her thumb again. "Well, he's a little loud and overwhelming, but Finn seems to like him so he can't be all that bad."

"He likes you," I tell her. "Thinks you're pretty."

"Well, he seems like some kind of smooth talker. And he probably says that to all the girls."

I shake my head. "Nah, Em tells it like it is. I was dating a girl a few years ago and he used to call her Eli… for Eli Manning. Because he said she had shoulders like a linebacker."

She covers her mouth when she gasps and then a cross between a giggle and a snort escape. I grin. "That is so not okay. What if she knew? She would be devastated."

"She did know. She thought he was flirting with her. After we broke up she showed up wasted at his door and tried to get him to sleep with her."

She doesn't try to cover her laughter now and I smile at her. I like making her laugh. I like making her happy. And that is a huge thing for me because for the longest time I was only ever really concerned with my kid's happiness.

"I shouldn't laugh. That's awful."

I shrug. "She acted like an asshole. She deserves it." Bella sighs and leans back against the seat. "What about you? Any crazy exes?" I ask even though the thought of her with another man makes me kind of nauseous.

She lowers her head and shrugs. "A couple of boys here and there. Nothing too exciting."

"First love?" I probe.

She keeps her head down and says, "Not in that group. The highlight was the one who took me to a Six Flags and then threw up in my purse."

Her voice is so small, her face is blocked by her hair and my heart breaks for her. Because I don't think Bella has ever had people in her life that ever saw who she was, quirks and all, and accepted and loved her for them. And it makes me fucking mad. Because Bella deserves love more than just about anybody else that I know.

"You're better off," I tell her and squeeze her hand. "You know what they say about men with weak stomachs."

She looks up at me finally. "Nope, I haven't heard that. What do they say?"

"That they have small hands. And you know what they say about men with small hands," I continue, trying to coax a smile out of her. "They're dicks are like tampons."

She chuckles. "It all comes back to that. Only you could go from vomit to penises."

I turn to look at her briefly. "Matt has small hands."

"Mike. His name is Mike. And why were you looking at his hands? You have some kind of hand fetish?"

"I was looking at his hands because they were on you."

She rolls her eyes at me. "That is not true. He wasn't going to touch me even if he wanted to because he was scared of you and the crusties you were giving him."

I snort and turn to stare at her. "What the hell are crusties?"

"Bad looks. Like you could crust something over with your eyes. You know."

I shake my head. "Eye crusties are disgusting not scary. Are you saying my face is disgusting?" I ask dramatically.

"You know your face is not disgusting. Take your fishing somewhere else."

I jut my lower lip out at her. "It'd be nice to hear it once in a while."

"Edward, you're the most attractive thing since boy bands."

I frown at her. "What, like Joey McIntyre? Bella, you're comparing me to Joey McIntyre? Baby, he was such a tool. And girly. That is so not a compliment."

She presses her face to her knee and her laughter fills the car. "Fine," she says once she catches her breath. "You're the Justin Timberlake of boy bands. Happy?"

"Only if you'll be my Britney," I tell her with a wink and a smile. "I still think they belong together."

Her laughter takes over and she shakes her head and tries to reign it in but can't. And it's so fucking nice to see her all red and shit from laughter that I caused. "I am so not Britney Spears. I will not be shaving my head any time soon, thanks."

"Why not? Joan of Arc did it. I think it's sexy. She made a statement."

She laughs more and shakes her head again. "I kinda adore you," she says and then all sound from her ceases completely. I look over and her eyes are wide. "I mean, you make me laugh and I love that you think shaved heads are sexy. I just, you know, it's funny?"

I look her over and then extract my hand from hers and run it over her head. "I think your head is sexier."

She blushes and pulls back a little bit. "There is nothing sexy about a head," she says with a nervous laugh, eyeing me and biting down on her lip.

"First of all, your face is on it. Second of all, you have shiny hair. Third, I like your brain and it protects it. And fourth, it's attached to your body. So it's actually really sexy."

She smiles at me. "Oh, well, I guess in that case, I think your head is pretty great as well."

"Finally," I say dramatically. "A compliment."

The bellboy shows us to our room and I give him a tip even though he's been checking Bella's ass out for five minutes now. I shut the door behind us, drop my bag on the floor, and drop face first onto the bed. I love my own bed. Most of the time, I can't sleep anywhere besides my own bed. But there's something about the way they fluff the pillows here that can't be beat anywhere.

"Which drawer do you want?"

I roll over onto my side and look at Bella. Her suitcase is open on top of the dresser and she's staring at me patiently. "What do you mean?" I ask.

She blinks and then points at the drawers. "I usually prefer to be on top, but if that's what you prefer then I'll take the bottom."

I narrow my eyes at her. "Are you propositioning me? Because I'm really not picky. Although I am really partial to having you bent over and being on top."

She furrows her eyebrow and then looks between me and the dresser for a minute before her mouth drops open. "Oh I well, I was talking about the drawers. But I'm sure if that's what you like, I'd like it too. I mean, I don't really have a preference yet so, well, you know."

I grin at her. Honestly, it's all I can do to keep my laughter inside. She's seriously the cutest fucking thing I have ever known in my life. "I don't get it then," I say and try to hold my smile back. "Why are you all the way over there and not on this bed with me?"

She smiles shyly at me and then starts walking towards the bed. "I thought you wanted to go out? Isn't it a little early to go to bed? I mean, it's fine if that's what you want to do."

I wrap my fingers around her wrist and tug until she's lying down on her side next to me. I trace the swell of her cheekbone with my finger and then tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. "You're so pretty," I whisper and press my lips to the tip of her nose. "I definitely want to go out with you."

Her eyes flutter shut and a small sigh escapes her lips. "Thank you for bringing me, Edward. It means a lot."

I press my mouth to hers briefly. "I'm glad you came. We should make a toast to our first ever vacation together. You like champagne?"

"Yeah, I like the way it fuzzes on the way down."

"Good. I'll call down for a bottle." I roll over towards the phone and while I'm waiting for room service to answer I ask her, "Where do you want to go tonight? Do you wanna go dancing?"

I want to see her dance. I want to hold her against me and feel her sway her hips with mine.

"Whatever you want, but I'm not the best dancer. I only ever learned the Macarena."

I drop back as the laughter comes out in a really attractive series of snorts just as the room service person picks up. "Hi," I say and try to subdue my laughter. "Sorry. Can you send up a bottle of champagne?"

I roll back over towards her after I hang up, still laughing just at how fucking absurd and adorable she is. "If I remember correctly, you're supposed to shake your ass the whole time you do the Macarena, right?" She nods. "Good. That's the only type of dancing I'm interested in anyway."

x*x

The beat is strong, the crowd isn't overwhelming, there are no strobe lights and Bella is wearing a short, flowing little skirt and two tank tops. Her cheeks are flushed from the champagne we drank and her hair is windblown and tousled and just really, really sexy. I am in heaven.

I wrap my hand around her waist and guide her to the bar. I let her stand in front of me, right up against the bar, and then put my hands on either side of her before leaning in close to her ear. "What do you wanna drink?"

She turns her head slightly and gives me a huge, wide smile. "You pick. You're the expert and you always pick good for me." And then she leans back and presses her body against mine.

After I order our drinks I turn her so that she's leaning against the bar and facing me. I'm totally crowding her space right now but there are a lot of assholes leering at her and I'm not into that shit. "You look really good," I say into her ear and then press my lips to the curve of her neck.

She laughs and wraps her arms around my waist. "You just like it when I wear skirts cause you can touch more skin." I pull my lips from her neck to look down and grin at her. "But that's okay cause I like it when you touch."

"Well, thank god for that." I graze the smooth, bare skin of her thigh with my finger just as the bartender slides our drinks towards us. I hand Bella hers. "Little sips," I tell her with a wink and then tug her towards a table.

When we finish our drinks, I stand up and hold my hand out to her. "Let's go dance."

Her eyes widen. "Yeah? You sure? Even if I only shake my ass?"

I laugh. "Especially if you only shake your ass." She places her hand in mine hesitantly and I tug her up. "Stop making that face. You look like I'm walking you to the electric chair."

"It would be your funeral, not mine. I'm sure you're used to looking good when you dance."

I wrap my arms around her waist so that her hips are pressed tightly to mine before leaning down and saying, "You'd look good even if you stood here and did the chicken dance."

Her hands slide up my chest and around my neck as she eases into the rhythm of my hips. I lean down and take her earlobe in between my lips before sliding down, leaving open-mouthed kisses down and across her throat to her other ear. "Not so bad, is it?" I ask and put my left leg in between hers.

She shakes her head and then looks up at me through dark, heavy eyes. "Yeah, but you do everything well. Even stupid things, like eating fried chicken and painting."

I slide one hand down over her ass and slip the other into her hair. "I'm pretty sure I'm not dancing with myself right now," I tell her before pressing my lips to hers for a hard, hungry kiss that she reciprocates immediately. In seconds she's pushing her tongue into my mouth and rubbing against me.

Fuck me.

We're in a public place and all I want to do is lift her up, push her against a wall and fuck her until she screams my name.

Totally not appropriate for a first time.

I pull away and we both stare at each other breathing heavily, bodies still swaying to the music. "Want another drink?" I ask as calmly as I can. I do not want her to know how badly I want to defile her in a room full of drunk people with Drake blasting.

She nods eagerly and licks her lips. "Something new? Pick another one for me? I feel like it's a night for firsts."

I groan and run my fingers through my hair. Don't say the word feel. Don't say the word first. Don't even think it. "Come on." I put my arm around her again and try to maintain as little contact as possible.

I hand her the drink which, thank god there's barely any alcohol in it because she downs it in one shot and then slams it down on the bar before pressing herself against me. "Can we go back now?"

I look at her, at the full drink in my hand, and then back at her. "We just got here," I remind her.

I lift my drink as she glances around us before leaning up towards my ear. "I need you to have intercourse with me."

The whiskey in my mouth spews out all over the bar. I don't know if I should laugh at the fact that she just said intercourse or if I should cry because I absolutely cannot take this girl's virginity when she's drunk. "Jesus, Bella."

She chews on her lip and blinks up at me. "You don't want to?"

I rub my forehead because it's honestly the only thing I can think to do right now. "Of course I want to."

She tugs on my hand and tries to move towards the exit. "Okay, then let's go back to the room. I think a bed will make for a less intrusive experience for me."

Jesus Christ. If this were anybody besides this girl, I'd honestly believe that I was being punked. I put my drink down on the bar only because I really don't want to continue this conversation here and let her drag me towards the door. "What do you mean a less intrusive experience?" I ask her once we're outside.

She hums a little but keeps tugging me towards the hotel. "Well, I've heard the first time isn't exactly great… so we can push through that and move right on to the good bits."

This is god punishing me for every casual fuck I've ever had in my life. That's the only way I can explain why this is happening to me right now. This adorable fucking woman is leading me to a hotel room, propositioning having sex for the first time like she's reading out of a biology text book, and I have to say no to her.

"Bella," I say and stop walking right outside of our hotel. "Baby, I don't think this is a good idea right now."

She halts and staggers a little bit but catches herself before she completely loses her balance, and then she turns to face me with her big, confused brown eyes. "Why not? I could feel how much you wanted me, and the alcohol makes me feel extra good."

I put my hand on her cheek and stroke idly with my thumb. "Because there won't be any alcohol involved in our first time together," I answer in a low voice because this is literally taking all of my self control.

She purses her lips and narrows her eyes in confusion. "That's just silly. You live above a bar, work in one every night—alcohol is everywhere. How can it not be there? You going to take me to some deserted island?"

I give her a small smile and shake my head. "I want you sober," I clarify. "When you're sober and you tell me that you need to have… how did you put it? Intercourse with me, I won't say no."

She backs away from me with the closest thing to a scowl I've ever seen on her face. "That's a stupid ass excuse. And why do I have to ask? Why can't you want that? I might never ask again."

"Come here," I say softly and pull her back into my arms. I really don't want to hurt her feelings. "I can't do this like this." I put both of my hands on the sides of her face and wait until her eyes meet mine. "You should not be drunk for your first time. And you definitely won't be drunk for our first time together."

She shakes me off, huffs and mutters, "Always talking about sex and teasing. So much teasing, but noooo. Figures," and then she turns on her heels. "Never mind. Forget it. Please forget this happened, that I ever asked."

I don't say anything as I follow her through the hotel. A combination of guilt and desire are pounding the worst mother fucking headache into my skull. I'm trying to do the right fucking thing for once. I'm really fucking trying.

I slip into the elevator before the door slides shut. Bella is leaning back against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest and a pout that, under any other circumstances, would be completely adorable.

"I have one thing to say and then we can stop talking about this," I tell her. "You do understand that I want to have sex with you, right? That I'm not saying no because I don't want you?"

She retreats into the farthest corner from me. "This is about you being my first. If I had been a slutty cheerleader we would have had sex in the parking lot, or somewhere filthy like that."

I shake my head at her. "I'm not going to treat you like a slut, Bella. I'm trying to do the right thing by you because trust me, if it were up to me we would've fucked before we left for the club, in the club, and when we got back from the club. So yeah, this is about me being your first. I don't want it to be something you wake up and regret tomorrow morning."

She swallows and lifts her thumb to her mouth as the elevator stops at our floor. "I should have just slept with Matt Barnes in grade 11," she says and then strides off of the elevator.

I follow her out and grab her arm, spinning her around. "Are you kidding me? You really want it to mean nothing? If you really don't give a shit then fine, let's go. We can do it right here. I've been waiting for months anyway."

She swallows hard again and then reaches up and cups my face in her hand. "I just wanna feel close to you, be close to you. I didn't mean to make you angry. Don't be angry. I'll cross my legs and be good."

I laugh and lean in to press a soft kiss to her lips. "Just cross them for tonight." I cup the back of her neck and press my lips to hers again. "Can we go into our room now?"

She nods against me. "Yes please, a bed sounds really good. And I'll be good. I promise."

"You're not gonna try to violate me in my sleep?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "I can sleep on the couch if you want."

I let out another laugh and tug her towards our room. "Yeah, right. I want you in my bed."

She slumps against me and kicks her shoes off once we're in the room. "I won't ask again, promise. Just wanna sleep, pretend this was a dream or a nightmare, not sure."

"You'll think it's funny tomorrow," I reassure her as we climb into the big bed. After the lights are out, I tug her against me. "Seriously, don't be embarrassed for telling the truth, okay? I like it when you're honest with me."

She rubs her cheek against my chest and then kisses the skin over my heart and mumbles, "I don't think this will be funny."

I grin and kiss the top of her head. "Don't worry about it. Goodnight, Bella."

She doesn't reply and a few seconds later I hear her snore softly. She is going to be so embarrassed tomorrow. I chuckle at the thought. What a crazy fucking woman. I seriously don't think she could be anymore perfect.