A/N- t&a- I know this is late, but a decided to take her ass to Greece and leave me here all alone. So for a few weeks Sunday will be the update day. When she's back and I recover from the abandonment, we'll go back to twice a week ;)
That being said. Could you all rock any harder? Every review brings a smile to our faces, some pep to our steps. People are starting to think we're down right cheery. Love and custom drinks to you all!
As always, we don't own.
I followed your story I followed your tail
Followed you straight through the
Doors of your jail cell too
Followed your voice in the darkness soft
A wind came through and carried it off
I followed your love till it never really was at all
Drank all I could swallow
Now the moon's gonna' follow me home
Moon Song- Patty Griffin
Someone could write a saga based on the events in this one building. I walk down the line of tables slowly, smiling at the people who make eye contact and trying not to stare at some of the more, decorated people. The thing about these people is that they look hard, scary even and yet they're all smiles and I feel oddly comfortable.
I didn't even know that body art conventions existed. Not that that's surprising, but now looking around, soaking it all in, I wish someone would have brought me sooner. The stories jump off the skin, begging to be read, written down. And in their own way they have been. Put to skin rather than paper.
A man with a banner above his head naming him 'the lizard man' smiles widely at me before slipping a forked tongue between his lips. My eyes go wide and he laughs heartily, almost like Santa Claus. There are contradictions like this all around me.
Kind of like the cluster mess that happened last night. Unlike some people I am not gifted with memory loss with drunkenness. Every detail feels bored into my memory like they were put there with one of these tattoo guns littering the convention center.
After all his teasing, all his promises, he turned me down. I needed the alcohol. Needed the excuse of the supposed 'inhibition lifter' to ask him the question I wished I could ask when I am sober. It wasn't about the timing or a feeling it was about wanting that moment to be with him. Not anyone, not someone in the far or near future, but him. And I thought he would jump at the chance.
I can't even begin to think about the words that tumbled from my loosened lips. My face heats up just remembering it. Maybe if I had better dialogue, a better combination of sounds, he would have said yes.
I pick up a brochure and glance over the services offered at the booth and again my eyes grow wide. This might be a permanent condition for me here. The detailed pictures of the piercings are shocking, but I can't help but look closer. I didn't even know some of these things were possible.
My eyes flit back down the long row of displays to find him. He's still leaning against the table smiling and speaking with his hands. My eyes avoid the object of his attention. The person, woman, who the instant we walked in grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him squarely on the lips. He didn't even fight it or seem put off by it.
It was easy for me to make some excuse about exploring and slip away. His eyes followed me for the first couple of booths, but then the 'old friend' demanded more of his attention. I wonder if he would have said no to her. If she offered herself up.
I shake my head trying to chase these thoughts from my mind. He insisted it was because I was drunk. Told me then, and this morning over breakfast that under different circumstances things would be different. What circumstances? And how likely is that to happen when I'm probably never going to muster up the courage to come on to him ever again. EVER again.
"You thinking about a piercing?" I jump as the deep voice booms into my thoughts. I drop the flier and then look up at the man in front of me. Unlike a lot of the people here he's more clean cut, dimples even. I smile at him and feel my face flush, the flier is open to the genital piercings.
"Um, I don't know. I was just looking I guess. I've never seen so many…things pierced," I stammer. He laughs, his head falling back and the sound echoing in the large metal building. Several people at nearby booths look over, but turn away quickly.
"Well people are creative. You can get just about anything pierced these days," he answers once he gains his composure. I nod solemnly and lean a little to watch someone behind him lift his shirt. My eyes go wide.
"What is he having done?" I whisper. He twists to look and grins when he faces me again.
"Just a nipple," he states. Just a nipple? I watch as the needle is removed from the plastic and my knees go a little weak. Who would be crazy enough to let anything like that near their nipples?
"It actually increases sensitivity. Feels pretty fucking amazing. Wanna try it out?" he asks, the toothy grin back. I guess I said that out loud. I cross my arms over my boobs instinctively and he laughs again. My eyes search out Edward again and I watch as 'old friend' leans forward and whispers something in his ear. He laughs and my stomach clenches. The power he has over me is just not fair.
"That your guy?" big brawny asks. Eyes wide again, I should just change my name to Bambi. I look up at Dimples and back towards Edward again before sighing.
"Uh, we came here together, but I don't think he's mine. We've never said anything like that. I don't really know," I ramble. No laughter this time. I look up to see dimples, sans dimples glaring down towards Edward.
"He's an ass if he's down there chatty up Caren when he could be here with you. Caren is old news. Everybody has seen her pussy metal," Dimples almost growls. So 'old friend' has a name. I wonder if Edward has seen her….wait. pussy metal? My face heats up again with the combination of piercings and talk of Edward.
"Things are complicated and I guess he really likes to kiss people. Maybe I shouldn't care. Kissing isn't that big of a deal," I sigh. This guy should charge me for therapy or I should shut my mouth like I'm talking to a heavily pierced stranger, which I am.
Dimples places both hands on the table in front of him before leaning towards me. I lean back a little.
"What do you think about kissing?" he asks. I bring my thumb to my mouth and chew on the nail furiously. Why am I still standing here? My eyes seek out Edward again. Oh right because my 'guide' is busy and the man currently leaning into my personal bubble is the least intimidating person in my line of sight.
"I haven't done as much research as he has. It has a lot to do with who your kissing I guess," I reply stiffly. Dimples laughs again and leans back into his own bubble. The man behind him is now heavy one tiny ring in his right nipple and I watch as he checks out the metal in the mirror.
"It really does feel amazing, but I'm not going to push you. You seem like the type that scares easily," Dimples laughs. I look back up at him and count the piercings in his face. 8 including ears.
"I don't like him kissing other people. I hate it. I don't kiss anyone else and I don't want him to either," I spit. Dimples pulls back like my words could have pushed him, but I can't feel bad. I'm too busy feeling like a weight has been lifted off me. Why can't I say that to Edward?
"Listen doll," Dimples leans over the table again, a serious look on his face, "If you don't want him hanging all over other girls you're going to have to make yourself real clear. Men are idiots. They only speak literal."
I swallow and nod. It makes sense. Subtle hints and pointed looks haven't made it through his skull. I guess I need a more direct, clear method. Dimples sighs as I glance down the row again. I am pathetic. Edward's eyes scan the room and meet mine, half smiles and half concern.
"You want to send him a real clear message?" Dimples asks. I bring my eyes back to him and nod adamantly. Isn't that the whole point of this conversation? He leans even further into me, his eyes shooting over to Edward quickly. He licks his lips slowly and exhales heavily.
"Don't panic, but he's looking and while this might get my ass kicked, I'm gonna consider this is a favor to you Doll," he breathes and then his lips are on mine. I can feel the differences immediately. His lips are thin and almost too hard. He's missing the softness that defines Edward's lips. Lips meet again and he pulls my bottom lip between his, careful to keep our mouths shut.
I only pucker my lips, not able to participate more than that. It feels wrong, but vindicated. Dimples is my new confidant, surely that is equal status to an 'old friend'. Dimples presses his lips to mine a few more times and then I hear it. A purposeful clearing of the throat.
I jerk back from Dimples to see Edward leaning against the table next to me. He looks between Dimples and I a couple of times. Dimples grins in return.
"Hey man, you looking for a piercing?" he asks. I almost laugh at his nonchalance. Edward narrows his eyes before turning them back to me. I shift under his stare.
"Bella, can I speak to you? Privately?" he asks. His eyes hold mine to his and I swallow before nodding slowly. He takes my hand and tugs me away. I smile back at Dimples as he disappears. Edward weaves us through the crowd and I'm distracted from his anger by the swirling ink and metal around me. It's not until we're tucked in a forgotten corner and the art is hidden that I look up at him.
"How is Caren?" I ask. The sarcasm surprises even me. It's probably borrowed from Dimples. His eyes remain hard and trained on me. I look back, feigning innocence.
"Who was that?" he demands. I look over my shoulder into the crowd again before tilting my head to the side and shrugging.
"A new friend," I answer. I can be vague. I can play his game. It may be out of character but everyone has their moments when motivated. He crosses his arms over his chest and tilts his head to get a better angle on staring me down.
"What's his name?" he asks simply. The look on his face is careful, controlled. I chew a little on my bottom lip. It's a logical question. I should know my friends name. I tear my eyes from his and scan the near by walls looking for an answer.
"Uh, Vince. Why does it matter?" I quip. At least that's the name of the guy whose poster is hanging above Edward's head. He takes a deep breath before shaking his head.
"You don't just kiss random people Bella," he lectures. My mouth drops open at his gall. He can't be serious. How can he even….
"Are you kidding? I was saying hello. Right? Isn't that a perfectly normal way to say hello?" I ask briskly. My heart is racing and my words are clipped, short. His mouth falls open and he shuts it again quickly before licking his lips.
Why do I care so much? Why does it bother me so much? My mind races while I wait. Is this what its supposed to feel like? That elusive emotion that I'm afraid to label him with?
"To people that you know. Not to strangers," he snaps. I try to keep my breathing under control. I hate his rules.
"Well thanks for that clarification. I guess the next time I see Emmett I won't hesitate," I sigh. I thought he would have more to say, but apparently I just kissed the wrong person. Good to know.
"God damn it Bella, no. Not Emmett either," he hisses. His eyes are dark and I step back a little. My own anger rises again and I release a shuddered breath.
"So its really up to you then? You get to pick who I can and cannot kiss? Is that what you're saying?" I press. Because I'm never consulted when he uses his lips. He rubs his hands over his face before sighing.
"Yeah, I guess it is," he nods. I grit my teeth and turn my eyes down to my feet. Why the hell can't I demand the same of him? I just need to use the words. Even just ditto would work.
"You don't get to say that. If you can kiss 'friends' and 'people you used to know' then I can kiss whoever I want," I snap. Pride swells in me. At least its part of what I want to say. It deflates quickly because it gets me nowhere. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back for a moment.
"Fine Bella, kiss whoever you want. Just remember whose bed you're sleeping in tonight," he relents. I'm buoyed and sunken by his words. This got me nowhere. Now we're both free to kiss whoever the hell we want. That's not what I want. I lift my eyes to his just in time to see him leaning in and winding his hand up into my hair.
His lips meet mine forcefully our teeth clicking as he forces open my lips and thrusts his tongue inside. I grip onto his shoulders to stay standing. His tongue is cool and smooth, moving through my mouth like he has it memorized, maybe he does. My tongue meets his like greeting a familiar friend. This is why I don't want to kiss anyone else. No one else even comes close. Sorry Dimples. He tappers off kissing me sweet and slow before pulling away.
"Who kisses you better, BB?" he breathes onto my still open lips. I lick his flavor off and swallow.
"Who kisses you better Edward?" I reply. I'm sick of admitting how much I want him, need him. He's the one in limbo. I know what I want, who I want. And then everything falls into place. My mind is clear and I just look at him. Take in every piece of him in. He smiles slowly and my heart swells.
"Touché. Want a drink?" he asks. He takes my hand without waiting for an answer and holds me close, guiding me through the crowd again. He nods at a couple of people but doesn't pause and, thank god, doesn't stop to kiss anyone he knows. He pulls me into small makeshift bar, logos plastered over anything that's not moving and a couple of things that are.
"You want a beer?" he asks me. My stomach churns at the thought. I shake my head and he holds up a single finger to the person manning the tap.
His hand unwinds from mine and he places his hand on the small of my back, slipping his finger underneath my wife beater and tracing patterns on my bare skin. I lean into his touch and smile at the bartender who is watching us. He winks at me and Edward shifts even closer to me.
He tosses the money on the counter and turns us away from the bar. He settles at a tall table and I slide into the chair next to him, watching the crowd as he sips his beer.
Every tattoo that passes is different, unique. There are some repeats, but it's the story behind them all that makes them really interesting. I reach over and trace the numbers on Edward's wrist. Finn's birthday, I know without asking. How could I forget my favorite friend's entrance into the world?
"I want a tattoo," I breathe. The words shock me. They're true, but I didn't know how true until they slipped over my lips. It's part of the story I want and a small link to the man next to me. Whatever I choose would always in part be a reminder of him. And I want to wear a piece of him.
"Where do you want one?" he asks. He turns his arms over so I can easily access his skin and I trace my nails over the full expanse of bare skin. I look back into the crowd and observe.
"Somewhere less obvious. I don't need everyone to see it. But not something overdone," I ramble. Not my legs or my hands. Maybe my shoulder. I stretch my unoccupied arm out on the table and rest my head on it, using my vantage point to now exclusively watch Edward.
He reaches over and run his hand down my hair. I lean into his touch and he smiles down at me.
"What do you want to get? My initials?" he teases. I roll my eyes. He would love that. Me wearing his mark while he slobbers all over other girls and suddenly my resentment is back. I thought I had left that in the corner.
"No. Definitely not your initials. Nothing too big or ornate. I haven't thought about it a lot. I want it to mean something. Maybe a bird, or a flower or a key," I list. I haven't gotten that far in my thought process. I mull the list I just gave over in my head. The key standing out.
"A key. Definitely a key. On the back of your neck," he decides, his hand sliding under my hair to rest on that spot. I let my eyes slide closed and think it over. It's a good spot. Hidden, but not completely. Not overdone. It fits.
"Refills anyone?" I straighten and look at the bartender. The motion causes Edward's hand to fall from my neck. I shake my head and catch the look Edward is giving him. And then my resentment takes over.
"What's your name?" I ask. Both men's heads snap to look at me. I keep my eyes away from Edward and on the man in front of us.
"Nick," he answers adding a smile. I smile back and reach my hand forward. He chuckles before taking it into his own for a brief squeeze. I pull my hand back and lean over the table slightly.
"So how's work going?" I ask. Edward groans next to me, but I ignore the noise. Nick's eyes flit over to Edward before coming back to mine. I smile encouragingly. I need him to play along.
"Fine I guess. People here aren't much for tips, but I had a guy offer to give me a free tatt so it all evens out," he replies. I nod like I can relate, but really I can't. I've never been tipped or offered a free tattoo so I really don't know which is better.
"I'm Bella by the way," I offer. He nods.
"Hi Bella," he chuckles clearly not getting where I am going with this.
"So we're friends now right Nick?" I ask. I can feel Edward tense next to me as he starts to figure out what I'm doing. It's all I can do to keep my eyes and body turned away from him.
"Sure, why not?" he agrees. I smile and move from my seat at the table. My hand is shaking and in reality I don't want to do this. I don't want to kiss anyone else, but I have to be direct. Get what I want the only way I know will get results. Part of me wants Edward to stop me, to reach out and pull me back. His breathing is so heavy it's the only thing I can hear. By the time I'm standing in front of Nick, he's looking at me confused and I can feel the tension rolling of Edward.
This may not be the best way to get what I want, but I'm just hoping it works. I reach up on my toes and press my lips to Nick's. They're stiff and unrelenting at first touch, but he quickly opens his mouth slightly and moves his lips against mine. I pull back only to press up against his mouth again and this time he takes no time to react. His mouth starts to open and then something hits the table behind us…hard.
We jump apart and I look back to see Edward shooting fire through his eyes at my new friend Nick. He's already standing and moves quickly to my side to pull me even further away.
"Enough. Let's go. Now." He spits. He pulls me by my arm from the tiny bar and I glance back at Nick who looks grateful that he's being left behind.
"Bye Nick!" I call because I'm running on adrenaline.
"Bye Nick," Edward repeats, barely a grumble under his breath. The crowd seems to part for him as he pulls me towards the door. I guess this is not a corner conversation. I'm feeling empowered by his reaction and as we push through the main doors into the lobby I feel words start to bubble up within me.
"Is there something wrong?" I ask. I have to fight the smile off my face. I'm not scared at his intensity. Scared for Nick had we not left, but there's nothing scary about Edward. Unless you count his control over my happiness.
"Is there… yeah, no we're going upstairs," he growls. I smile at a few people walking by us who despite their hard appearances look genuinely scared for me. There's no need for them to be worried. I'm finally going to break him down. I hope. If not…I don't know if I can stand back any longer.
He hits the elevator button repeatedly and I can't fight back a chuckle.
"That won't make it come any faster. You might actually cancel out your original press and it may end up taking longer," I tell him. He glances over at me unamused. I watch the lights above the elevator tell me when it will arrive and listen to Edward's heavy breathing. I lick my lips, trying to get Nick's taste off them. Edward watches the movement carefully and I pull my tongue into my mouth hurriedly.
Dread creeps into my stomach as the elevator opens and he pulls me inside. This may go badly for me. I've never pushed him before. But selfishly I need more. I love everything about our relationship, all I need is peace of mind. I need to know that he's in as deep as I am. To know that one day a random girl won't wander into his bar and steal my protagonist away from me.
The elevator doors slide open again and I lead the way to our room, sliding the key card carefully and stepping inside. I ease into the room and settle on the edge of the bed and wait. Wait for things to end up heads or tails.
"Fuck Bella," he groans. He kicks his shoes off and they hit the wall, the noise causing me to jump a little. My thumb is at my mouth immediately and I feel a twinge of pain as I chew my nail knowing I'm getting close to drawing blood. I watch as he paces in front of me.
"We need to set some fucking ground rules. That was not fucking ok," he seethes. I take a deep breath and resist the urge to reach out and stop him. Instead I pull my legs up to my chest and sigh.
"I thought the rule was we could kiss whoever we wanted?" I interject. He stops his pacing and looks at me hard.
"Well you thought wrong," he breathes. And then he's pressing into me, his lips and his body. I lean back against the bed and he lies on top of me. His tongue presses into my mouth and I welcome the taste of him tinted with beer. He sucks on my tongue and I instinctively arch into him. He pulls away and I pant trying to recover.
"Nobody gets to do this but me," he breathes and dives back in taking my bottom lip between his and bites down gently. The sharp feel of his teeth a stark contrast to his soft lips. I moan slightly and weave my hands into his hair. His lips slow and he pulls away pressing his lips to my lips once more then my nose and then my forehead.
"Then you can't kiss anyone but me," I retort. He nods his affirmation and then slides his hands up my sides gripping me just below the swell of my breasts. His lips fall to my neck and he breathes me in heavily.
"No one touches you but me," he adds. His hands finish their trip and squeeze my breasts. I'm arching into his touch before I can think better and I reach around him to push my hand up and under his shirt, scraping his skin with my nails.
"No one scratches your back, sees your back but me," I amend. I don't know where this is going but at least every word is clear. There's no misunderstanding what we're doing here. He pulls me up the bed with him til we're wrapped up in each other in a way that I feel like we might be melded together.
My hands curl into his hair, pressing his forehead to my own and I graze my nose up and down his. I let my eyes slide closed and take in his expelled air. His hand grazes over my collarbone, between my breasts and down til he reaches my thigh. He squeezes there gently before hovering around the place where I crave his touch the most.
"And no one goes near the holy land but me," he states. I can almost feel his lips move against mine. His hand moves back up my body and I whimper at the loss. I squirm a little trying to ease the ache before settling into his hold.
"Should we write this down? Sign it in blood? Have it notarized?" I ask. He chuckles and rolls his body against mine. My eyes close at the sensation.
"Why? Do you plan on forgetting?" He asks. He presses his lips to mine before I can answer. "Because the next time you kiss someone in front of me I promise I won't be that calm about it." He seals his statement with a kiss making it feel official.
"I don't want to kiss anyone else, in front of you of otherwise. I just needed you to see, wanted you to feel…" My words aren't coming together, his touches taking the meaning away before it can leave my mouth. I sigh and grip tighter onto him feeling hot and bound in my clothes.
I unwrap my hands from his hair and reach down, popping open the button to my denim skirt and feel better already. I start to shimmy them off when his voice stops me.
"Wanted me to feel what?" He rolls his hips again and the denim that was previously masking the sensation is currently around my knees and I hiss at the pressure. "Like I wanted to rip off their balls and feed them to them?"
I chuckle a little and kick my skirt off before tucking my hands around him. I nuzzle my face into his collarbone and try to fight off the honestly rising in my throat.
"Feel like I felt when you kiss those girls. I needed to know if you felt like I feel before things got more involved," I answer. I know I could give him more detail but a tiny piece of me is still afraid of being dropped over the cliff I am currently teetering towards. And I really want him to pull me back.
"Tell me how you feel right now Bella." His voice vibrates in his chest and I press my ear closer. His hand trails back down and presses against the thin cotton keeping him from the holy land.
"I feel like I don't want you to be in anyone else's story," I sigh. He presses up again and I bite my lip to keep everything in.
"I want you in ours, in mine and Finn's," he breathes and my whole body goes on high alert. I grip myself to him and press my mouth to his and shove my tongue in his mouth. I don't even mind so much when his hand leaves the holy land to grip my face. I kiss him til I'm sure I would pass out if I didn't pull away.
"No one else. Just me and you. No other kisses, or touches, or stories," I stammer, still recovering from the kiss. I open my eyes and stare deep into his. He nods.
"Yours." And that word does it for me. Everything is in ink feeling permanent and I know this is important. One of those days you look back on years later, one of those stories you read to other people.