DISCLAIMER – The Twilight saga and all the characters mentioned in it are the undisputed property of Stephanie Myers. This story was written entirely for non-profit and the sheer love of the series and its memorable characters. Spoilers are included from pretty much included for every single book associated with Twilight. Proceed with caution if you haven't read everything, particularly The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.

I hope everyone enjoys reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Naturally, feedback is always appreciated but never demanded.

The (Not So) Short Second Life of Bree Tanner

By: Oy! Angelina

-Chapter 4-

Alaska or Bust

I sat on the same perch I used seventy-three days ago and continued staring at the gingerbread-esque house sitting alone in the woods. It was the middle of the day and I knew the house was empty save for a couple odd mice and flies but I continued sitting on my branch as it swayed lazily in the wind. Even the knowledge that the witch had been shoved in the oven months ago didn't stop her sugary voice from echoing inside my head as I recalled the night Diego and I eavesdropped on her and the other monsters lurking.

The woods would always be haunted to me.

I spent half the day in that tree revisiting memories both fond and miserable before I eventually leapt down. The sun was setting and as ridiculous as it was for a vampire to be scared of the dark I didn't want to be in that house when night settled in.

The interior of the home was frilly like the outside, complete with pastels, ceramics and lace. The still air preserved scents better than the windswept woods. The stench of Riley and Victoria were all over with traces of Volturi. My lips curled just thinking about them all until the sweetest smell struck my nose, one with hints of cinnamon or, perhaps, clover.

Diego.

So Riley had brought Diego here after they spoke and, judging by how scattered the aroma was, this was also where he and Victoria tore Diego up, piece by piece. Sadly, I drifted over to another too familiar odor still permeating from the fireplace that was thick like incense and associated only with death. The fire was long dead, just like the vampire it consumed, but the ashes were still at the bottom resting in peace. I fell to my knees with a sob. I never held out hope that Diego survived because I trusted him enough to know he wouldn't have abandoned me without a word. Being confronted with proof of his destruction, though, was brutal all the same. My fist clenched on the top of my folded legs as the rest of me shook with rage and sorrow.

However long it took Riley and Victoria to die it wasn't slow enough.

Despite my prior wishes I stayed in the house until it was swallowed by shadows. I listened to the crickets and the owls alongside my tearless weeping. I never trusted Riley, why did I let Diego believe he could? Why didn't I think of running away sooner? Why hadn't I saved Diego?

No matter how many times I asked myself these questions the answers would always be unknown and they all cost Diego his life. I climbed to my feet then began collecting things from around the house I didn't know I was searching for until I found them. I brought a ceramic jar with Spanish accents to the fireplace and put every glittering indigo grain of Diego's remains inside, save for a handful. That small piece of Diego went into a tiny crystal perfume bottle that was molded into the shape of a star. It wasn't the same as a ninja star but the symbolism wouldn't be lost with it. I pinched an old platinum band around the neck of the bottle to forever seal its stopped in place and twisted the ring just enough to thread a leather cord through. Once finished, I hung the make-shift necklace around my neck.

Now – literally and figuratively – Diego would always be with me.

I sealed the rest of Diego's ashes with the wax of a candle and wrapped his urn with plastic bags. I put it in the waterproof backpack I brought for my travels and set off to take Diego to his resting place and call the final meeting of the BFF Club to a close.

My perfect memory guided me back to the underwater cavern Diego brought me to back when we still thought sunlight was lethal. It was how I remembered, complete with the opening Diego created. I found a place to set Diego's urn for the remainder of eternity and held a private funeral for him. No words were said. They just didn't feel necessary and people were supposed to show their respect for the dead with a moment of silence.

I gave Diego a moment in death for every single one I spent with him in life.

Almost two days passed when I finally left Diego to his internment and wondered if I would ever mourn over his grave again. I thought not. This felt final to me, like this chapter of my life was officially coming to a close, but I was wise enough to know immortals should never say never. The daylight waiting for me outside was hidden behind thick clouds and I appreciated the solemn atmosphere. It gave me comfort to know Diego was placed somewhere he liked by a person who cared for him but I just wasn't ready for the world to be a bright and sparkly place yet.

Choking down all this grief ignited the burn in my throat. I felt the tickle of flames all the way to my gut and figured my eyes were as black as my mood. My last meal was a little over three days ago but my thirst wasn't feeling reasonable. It was like Jasper said; I was too used to indulging my gluttonous eating habits and now it was all I could concentrate on. Part of me wanted to try and hold out another day or two just to prove I could get on the biweekly meal plan the rest of my family lived on but those sensible thoughts and lofty goals were no match for my need to feed.

I flitted through the wood to sniff out some prey but anything bigger than a rabbit was eluding me. I growled to myself, frustrated that nothing capable of sating my thirst was presenting itself. The fire in my throat turned my thoughts into kindling and rapidly consumed each one beyond recognition. I needed to find something to eat before I lost all ability to think straight.

When I heard the scream the grip I had on myself was teetering on my fingertips. Amidst so many trees the sound would be muted to human ears because of the trees and brush but it was clear to mine. The forest was dense enough that it felt faster going over it than through. Birds and squirrels hurried out of my path as I honed in on the ragged breathing of a frantic woman trampling through the woods. I spotted her – blonde and young, perhaps college age – running away from something and I didn't need to wait long to find out what that was.

A breathless man's chuckle came a hundred yards behind the girl. His companion, another man, sounded out of shape and far less amused by the situation.

"What are you laughing about? If she gets away-" a gruff voice demanded between huffs.

"How?" The laughing voice wondered. "She probably doesn't even know what country she's in now."

"That's why you should never hitchhike," the gruff voiced man indulged himself with a laugh. "We need to pick up the pace, though. She'll stumble onto the highway if she gets much further."

The whizzing of cars seemed about five miles off but traffic wasn't my concern at the moment or theirs. The hunter haze rolled over me like fog. My road to recovery was too bumpy. I knew I was about to fall off the wagon, I had no choice in that. The only decision that belonged to me and not the uncompromising thirst was which direction I would hit rock-bottom from – the predators or the prey.

Like they said, the road to hell was paved in good intentions.

My baser instincts were barely interested in my thoughts now and the only ones it considered listening to were wicked ones. I was still upset over Diego and the people I would never be able to punish. I was mad that there were killers who had no excuse for the lives they took. I got blood on my hands each time I poured it down my throat but I never did it for amusement or felt malice in my heart. That was about to change, though. I could feel it.

Instead of just pouncing I dropped out of a tree and waited for my food to be delivered. It was a short weight, maybe three seconds, when the two men came huffing and puffing like the big bad wolves they were. No, that was rude. I knew wolves and they would never chase some poor girl around the woods for sport.

The men pulled to a short stop once they registered my presence. I pegged them as being about twice my age and definitely not picking on someone their own size. They were obviously shocked to see me standing in what was likely the middle of nowhere to them and weren't sure what to do about it. Both were keen to continue their pursuit before the girl got too far or, worse, away but they were also reluctant to abandon what they perceived to be fresh meat.

What a coincidence – so was I.

"Hey, sweetheart," the laughing one said breathlessly. He smiled the smile that probably lured the girl out into the woods in the first place. "What a pretty little thing like you doing all the way out here?"

When it became clear I had no intention of answering the charmer nodded to his gruff friend who, by the way his heart thudded, sounded ready to go into cardiac arrest.

"Why don't you go on ahead? I'll catch up," the laughing one suggested.

The gruff one glanced me over and saw a little pale girl in a little red hood. He didn't linger long after that but his pace was clumsier and breathing more labored. He probably still thought he was running after someone instead of running away from something. I vaguely wondered if he would ever realize his error.

"So, are you hiking alone? Camping with friends?" the laughing one asked as he sucked in some breaths.

"Hunting," I said with a rasp to my reedy voice.

"Hunting?" He furrowed his sweating brow. For the first time the laughing one seemed worried I wasn't just skipping my way to grandma's house. "Do you have a gun or knife with you?"

I shook my head slowly. "I don't need them."

That just confused him more. "Well, how do you make a kill then?"

Instead of explaining I gave him a demonstration. What happened next was a blur of time and blood. It took me little time to drain the first and less to catch the second. I'm pretty sure the gruff one never quite figured out that he wasn't the one doing the hunting anymore but it's not like that epiphany would have changed his fate. After two months of eating only animals I was in ecstasy over tasting human blood again. Why had I ever given it up?

The answer to that question trickled in with the regret and shame. I could care less about the fact those men were dead – the world was better off without them - but knowing I let my family down made me wish I hadn't killed them. It was unforgivable for me to let me thirst and temper trump my love and loyalty for the Cullens. I didn't deserve to count myself as one of them, not after this.

I slowly stopped feeling sorry for myself but that was only because the panic blaring in my mind left no room for spare parts. I broke the treaty; the treaty that kept the werewolves from turning my family into chew toys. That should have been enough to kick the hunter out of the driver's seat and send me screaming in the opposite direction of anything with two legs and a pulse. My whole family was going to die because I was too stupid and weak to put them before my thirst.

My anger and anguish flipped me into a different frenzy than bloodlust. I howled and thrashed until trees as tall as buildings toppled like dominos, scattering leaves and birds into the air like confetti. Once they were on the ground I pounded their trunks until I had enough splinters to open a toothpick factory. By the time my tantrum ended I was panting for air I didn't need. Sap, tinder and pine needles covered me so much I looked like a green porcupine. I would have laughed at myself if this was the most foolish thing I did with my day but the metallic taste in my mouth reminded me that I wrote my family's death warrants with an afternoon snack.

I collapsed into the woodpile and curled into a ball, oblivious to my pointy exterior. How could I face the Cullens again after I so selfishly doomed them? The answer was simple – I couldn't. I wouldn't let my family pay for my mistake and they wouldn't have to if I never went back. I was back to being a runaway but, this time, it wasn't to save myself. It was the right thing to do – the only thing I could do – yet it felt so wrong I thought I would throw up even though I knew vampires couldn't. Maybe I would eat some human food so I would have to retch it up. That would be a good start to my lonely penance.

I didn't know which felt worse – breaking the treaty or my promise to Esme.

Before I had time to consider what was the kindest way to break the Cullens' hearts my cell phone started buzzing inside my backpack. The devastation I inflicted on the forest left it absolutely silent, making the phone seem almost deafening to me. Swallowing, I tried to ignore it but the cell just kept ringing so I reluctantly pulled it out and saw Alice's name flashing on the screen.

"Hello, Alice." My voice rang shriller than I wanted if I was playing casual. "How's it going?"

"Bree…" Alice said my name as a long sigh.

I knew Alice knew. How could she not? Alice saw the future every which way so my stupidest moment on the worst day of my life was thinking even for an instant that I could just pretend everything was okay. For a brief moment I felt an irrational pang of anger at Alice. If she could see the future why couldn't she have warned me and kept me from ruining everything our family worked so hard for? I rejected the thought as fast as I had it. I couldn't blame Alice for my catastrophic mistake. The Cullens took responsibility for me but I had to take responsibility for myself too.

"Bree?" Alice said again. "I know you didn't hang up but if you don't want to talk just listen, okay?"

I let my sulky silence serve as an answer. Alice gave another sigh.

"I know you're disappointed in yourself and think you need to do something drastic because of your slip but you don't. Despite popular opinion vampires aren't perfect. It goes against our every instinct, our very nature, not to hunt humans. All we can do is try and you can't always succeed at everything you try, especially when you're new at something. You've been a vampire for half a year, Bree. A moment of weakness doesn't change how well you've handled yourself despite the environment you started out in and it doesn't make me doubt for a second that you can rise above this if you give yourself a chance."

"Give myself a chance?" I said dimly. "How can any of you forgive me after this?"

"Easily. We'd be hypocrites if we couldn't," said Alice soothingly. "Carlisle is the only one of us who never took a human life but that standard is almost impossible for any other vampire to hold him or herself up to. Next to Carlisle, Jasper's the oldest and he's constantly struggling to keep faithful to our diet because he was created by a vampire not unlike Victoria for a similar puprose. Emmett struggled with the thirst at the beginning and he had all the encouragement in the world and Edward spent a couple years as a vigilante because he was going through a rebellious phrase. Rosalie, Esme, me – we all have been where you are, Bree."

I was too stunned to reply even if I wanted to. I knew some of what Alice told me but it wasn't like the Cullens bragged about their carnage like Kristie or Raoul would have. All my family's transgressions were bits and pieces until Alice laid it out for me. Was it so easy to be forgiven? It seemed so hard to believe but this was what it meant to be family, this was everything I starved for worst than any thirst could pain me, this was what I was trying to throw away. Now I was ashamed not only for what I had done but what I wanted to do before Alice called.

"I want to come home but the treaty…" I sobbed, unable to finish.

"…will hold because we're keeping this a family secret," said Alice firmly. "We're already testing the boundaries with changing Bella so we're not going to put fuel on the fire. You're right; the werewolves won't understand – they can't – but our family will. Just do like Edward told you."

"Just clean up my mess," I said dispassionately.

"Don't forget to clean yourself up, too," said Alice knowingly.

I had to smile. "You saw that, huh?"

"I see all the good stuff," said Alice. There was a smile in her voice too. "I hate to ask but do you think you can hold out on your own a a while? The wedding is in three days and Bella's mom is here half the time trying to help set up along with other people."

Alice sounded worried but I couldn't tell if her concern was for me or what I might do next.

"Well, I've already gone through the worst case scenario of me being on my own here." At least I was full so there wasn't much chance in my control slipping that bad again. I would make sure to eat deer or two daily, just to be on the safe side. "Things can only get better from here. Please tell me this isn't going to ruin the wedding somehow."

"Like I would let anyone do that," said Alice. I could almost hear her rolling her eyes. "If you're worried about being alone you could always visit our cousins in Denali. They're invited to the wedding but you would have enough time to introduce yourself."

I hadn't really thought about when I would meet our like-minded cousins but maybe sooner would be better. I felt like I needed my family now, extended or otherwise. "I think I will. There's something I need to do first, though."

Alice undoubtedly saw what I was planning. It seemed benign enough but I've been wrong before. I held my breath and waited to hear Alice's thoughts but all she said was: "Don't forget to bring a spare set of clothes and sunglasses."

"Okay," I said, trusting Alice's advice even if I didn't understand it. "Call me when it's safe to come home?"

"You got it. Try and cheer up in the meantime," said Alice sympathetically. "Take care of yourself, Bree."

It wasn't me I was worried about. "I will. Bye, Alice."

There wasn't much I could do about the trees I demolished so I didn't bother. Since "vampire nut-fit" wasn't likely to be anyone's guess whatever hunters or hikers happened upon the scene could come up with any explanation they liked. I picked up my leftovers and traced their scent back to the windowless van they had driven. I shook my head as I tossed the bodies in the back and got behind the wheel. How desperate for a ride had this girl been to accept a ride from two guys and their creepy van? I didn't feel judgmental, just sad for her as I drove back to the main road. There wasn't much of my human life I could vividly remember but that self-destructive need to make one hasty decision after another led me to where I was today.

As soon as the ocean appeared on the roadside I hit the gas and crashed through the guard rail in a screech of metal. I watched the water's surface rush up apathetically until the van hit it like a rock and started to sink. It was going too slow for my liking so I got out and helped the process along. Once the van was half-lodged in the ocean floor I rearranged the bodies of the two men so they were seated in the front. Whenever the divers finally recovered the vehicle the damage I did would be chalked up to trauma from impact and sea life.

My high-speed swim along the coastline cleaned off the sap and pine from my granite skin but my clothes were a lost cause. I cruised the shore until I spotted an eco-friendly summer home that left some clothes to hang dry in the warm twilight air. I darted onto the lawn and swiped a few armfuls of clothing and left hundred dollar bills dangling from their clips to cover the loss. After a quick change I shopped the block for a more human form of transportation and picked the first one that had sunglasses inside. I felt guilty about stealing the car but I told myself it was for a good cause and, to further convince myself, I intended to get it washed and fill up the tank once I was finished using it.

Despite never getting my driver's license my hand-eye coordination and response time made handling it childishly easy. I zipped along the highway and passed the crash site I created. The area must have been more isolated than I thought because nobody else had stumbled upon the accident yet. I crossed my fingers for my good luck to hold just a little longer and got my wish when I spotted the girl walking along the side of the road, hugging herself. I chalked her shivering up more to fear than the August evening so I took care not to startle her more when I pulled alongside her.

"Hi, are you okay?" I asked, rolling down the window. Hopefully she wouldn't be too put off by me wearing sunglasses at night. "Can I give you a ride somewhere?"

The girl stared at me with wild eyes that were red with tears. One had a welt budding near the temple and her lip was cut. Half the reason she was hugging herself so tight was to keep her shredded top from falling off. I started to clench my fist and somehow I managed to stop the car and get out without breaking anything. I gave the girl a good look at me, hoping my appearance would put her at ease. It wasn't going to be easy getting her in the car; not after what she escaped from. It wasn't going to be easy for me, either. This was the closest I had been to a human without a seven-vampire buffer zone but thirst was the furthest thing from my mind for once.

"My name is Bree. What's yours?" I asked softly, my voice throbbing with concern.

The girl looked me from head to toe with those wide eyes before deciding to answer me, sounding dazed. "Karen. I'm Karen."

"Karen, please let me help you," I begged. "You look like you need some right now. I have some extra clothes in the car with me. They're all yours and I'll drive you anywhere you want. The police, hospital, home –"

"Home," Karen said, immediately latching onto the idea. "Please take me home. I was so stupid for hitchhiking but I was just so sick of my stepmother and didn't have money to fly to my Mom's. I should have stayed with her after the divorce but I…."

Karen caught herself rambling and fell silent. I just nodded and got her the clothes, thankful as ever for Alice's foresight. I kept a respectful distance as Karen changed. She looked a little better now that she had a fresh outfit but was still a long way from alright. I didn't have to coax her into the car with me and waited a couple miles before trying to talk to her again.

"Where does your mother live?" I asked.

"Alaska," said Karen sadly. "I thought it would be cool living in Seattle but I hate it. I thought the people there were bad but I…there were these two men I met at a gas station who gave me a ride this morning. They said they would drive me most of the way to my Mom's but then they hit me and when I woke up we were in the woods, I don't know where. They weren't paying attention to whether I was awake or not so I got away. If I didn't do cross-country in high school I might have…they would have…"

I wanted to tell Karen she never had to worry about them again but knew I couldn't. I also didn't want to attract the attention of the police considering I killed the men they would be looking for and was driving around in a stolen vehicle so I put my concerns elsewhere. "If they hurt you we should take you to see a doctor."

"I'm fine," Karen insisted as she stared into the night. "But thank you. Really, thank you, Bree. If you could just drive to a restaurant or some place with a phone I'll call my dad. He'll be so pissed I ran away but I guess I'll have to go back."

"You said you wanted to go home," I said, giving most of my vast attention to Karen rather than the empty road. "Is home with your dad or your mom?"

"My mom," Karen said automatically, then exhaled loudly. "But it's too far."

"Not for me. I can drive all night if you want to go," I said, smiling.

A day ago I would have said it was impossible for me to be confined in such a tight space with a human but I could have been near starving and I wouldn't have eaten Karen. Most of my second life was spent viewing people as food – not something to love or hate, just consume and sustain. You had to be indifferent to something to want to eat it and I wasn't indifferent to Karen or her life. I needed to remember the world was full of Karens and their lives were worth more than a brief quench of my thirst.

While I reevaluated my dietary restrictions Karen just looked stun by offer. "I already owe you so much, there's no way I could let you do that."

"I want to do it," I said earnestly. "I want to see you get home safe."

"What about your family?" asked Karen, taking in my apparent age as if for the first time. "Won't they be worried about what happened to you? I don't want you to get into trouble because of me."

It was a little late for that but I didn't blame Karen for my mistakes. "My family trusts me more than I deserve and if they knew what I was doing they would want me to help you, too."

"Then you and your family are wonderful people," said Karen as her eyes watered over.

"Thank you," I told her.

"For what?" Karen asked, half-laugh. "You saved me."

"That's why I'm thanking you," I said softly. "I was having a bad day until you came along.. So, thank you for making me feel like some good can come out of my screwing up…and thank you for letting me save you. Today was a day where I really needed to know that I could save somebody even if I couldn't do it before."

Karen seemed overwhelmed by my gratitude until a smile slowly spread on her face. "You're welcome, then."

"Okay, let's get you home," I said as I continued steering north and following the road signs needed. "Let me know if you get hungry or need a bathroom break and if you want to fall asleep I won't be offended."

Karen shook her head as she settled into the passenger's seat and finally looked relax. "I'm too wired. You must be too if you're willing to drive all night to Alaska."

"Believe it or not, you were heading my way," I said as I felt my first real smile in days spread across my face.