A/N t&a: So sorry about the delay in updating. We love you all—truly, madly, deeply style. Thank you for all of the reviews and the recc's and for just being awesome.

So, we don't own… anything. Except for Finn, Walt & Nemo… sort of. ;)

I've got a girl, she tastes like rain on my tongue
She's got the moon in her hips
And her eyes burn up like the sun.
When I'm gone from my girl
When I leave her alone
There ain't nothing that I'm running from.

Love is a dollar that's already spent
Love is a song that we sun
There's war in my blood
Love ain't the tune in my lungs.
"War In My Blood" Fiction Family

There are so many things about my life right now that when I think about them, completely floor me. Like, if somebody had told me a few years ago that I was going to be a dad I would have laughed. I mean, the truth is that yeah, growing up I had a pretty solid childhood with the exception of a couple of fucked up years. And I wasn't completely opposed to the idea of having my own family.

What I was completely fucking opposed to was the idea of having a family that depended on me when everything is so fucking precarious. The idea of having what happened to me happen to Finn paralyzes me sometimes. The thought that I could just fucking die one day and leave the kid high and dry, alone and defenseless out of fucking nowhere is my second greatest fear. My first obviously being losing him.

But certain things are out of my control. His existence for one thing. He came into my life unexpectedly and, I thought at the time, unwelcome because I was a selfish sort of bastard. Would I ever in a million fucking years want to change it now? No. The kid is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I couldn't control the accident that killed my parents either. And I spent so many fucking years, so many hours being pissed off, alternating between yelling at god and bartering deals with him in my head to bring them back. I was a kid who thought way too fucking highly of himself. A kid who thought that he could change something that was permanent by sheer will. When I got it, when reality finally fucking set in a year or so after I moved in with my second parents, I realized that one loss fueled something new, something different, something that was entirely out of my "plan" but was good regardless.

While those realizations didn't necessarily abate my fears of dropping dead and leaving everyone that needed me behind, they did help me chill out a little bit.

Because loving Finn and loving Bella is what I need to be doing for as long as I can. Because tomorrow I might die from some sort of freak accident, I might get hit by a bus, I might get diagnosed with some terminal disease, but I'll have done everything possible while I could. And somewhere, somehow that has to be enough.

It helps too having Bella here. And it feels so fucking good knowing that she loves my kid—almost better than it feels knowing that she loves me. Because she doesn't love him as an extension of me; she loves him just because.

She said yes to me. She actually agreed to pack her shit up and move across the country with us. I never doubted her love but seeing it like that, in action, was quite possibly one of the most amazing feelings I've ever experienced before. Hearing her say that she wanted us, wanted to leave her life here and follow us… it was honestly so fucking beautiful. I've never had this type of relationship with anyone before.

And I was so fucking worried—worried that she'd say no, worried that she'd let me go, let us go, worried that she might think that I was leaving to get away from her. Worried that she'd feel rejected or worse, lonely here all by herself because aside from the people she works with, we're the only ones she actually sees on a daily basis.

And obviously I have to go with Savannah and Finn, but if that meant leaving her behind it was definitely ranking one of the most difficult decisions I'd ever have to make.

I rub my cheek right over her nipple because I know the morning scruff will wake her up. It's the middle of the fucking afternoon anyway. She hums and shifts slightly but doesn't wake up.

I slide my fingers up her side. "Bella," I whisper and then suck her nipple into my mouth.

She groans then and I look up but her eyes are still shut. I slide my fingers back down and in between her legs.

"Bella," I whisper again before pressing down on her clit.

Her lips part instantly and she gasps before rolling her hips up towards my hand. I make a few circles around her clit with the pad of my middle finger before sliding it inside of her. Her eyes pop open instantly and I smile at her before covering her lips with mine.

"Morning," I say in between kisses and continue sliding my one finger in and out of her slowly. "What were you dreaming about?"

"I can't remember my dreams," she breathes out and she pushes her hips up at the same time as she leans up to kiss me again. "Something much better woke me up."

"Do you dream about me?" I bite down gently on her bottom lip and rub my thumb once hard over her clit.

Her back arches, pressing her chest to mine, before she nods. "Always."

I pump just my middle finger into her and watch as she bites down on her lip and then she pushes her hips up towards my hand. God, she is so fucking beautiful.

I rub my dick against her thigh for a little bit of relief and kiss her again. She whimpers. "What?" I whisper into her ear. "What do you want?"

"You," she says and wraps her arms around me. "I want you. Please. Enough teasing."

I love hearing her say that she wants me in that voice, that voice that says I want you as badly as you want me. I brace myself above her and then slide my dick deep inside of her. She gasps loudly and tightens her arms around me.

I groan and drop my head, pressing my lips to her ear without moving my hips. She tries to move beneath me but I'm buried all the way inside of her so she can't move. "Bella." I bite down on her lobe and roll my hips just slightly.

She hums and tugs on my hair.

"I love the way you feel," I whisper and she shivers hard.

"Edward, please," she gasps.

I pull out then and then plunge back inside of her. She cries out and her back arches up again, towards me, always towards me. She lifts her legs and wraps them around my waist as I slide in and out of her with more speed.

Her hold on me tightens and she starts making all of her little sounds that turn me on so fucking much.

"Come now for me, Bella," I tell her and increase my speed, feeling the pressure build inside of me.

All of her muscles tighten around me; her arms, her legs, her pussy and then she just fucking explodes.

"Good girl," I grunt out in a whisper as I continue pumping in and out of her. And then I groan loudly as I rupture inside of her.

I roll over and pull her on top of me and run my hands up and down her back. "Morning," I say finally.

She looks down at me and smiles shyly. "Morning."

I slide my hands down over her ass and squeeze it once. "Let's take a shower."

"Let's? As in together? Have you seen my shower? I don't think that will work." She gives me a look as if I'm the fucking certifiable one when she's the one that pays thousands for this little place monthly.

"If we can sleep and have sex on this bed, we can do anything."

She buries her face in the pillow right next to my head. "You don't have to mock me just because everything I have is smaller."

I chuckle and bury my fingers in her hair, tugging slightly until she looks up at me. "Come on. Shower then food. I'm starving."

I wrap my arms around her tightly before sitting up and throwing my legs off the bed. "Edward," she says with a slight laugh when I stand. "I can walk."

"So can I. And I want to carry you. So, shut up." I swat her bare ass once before walking to the bathroom. "What I can't do," I say and let her slide to her feet when we get to the bathroom, "is figure out this bum fuck shower you have here. So you need to do the honors."

I jump up on the sink and watch her as she rolls her eyes and reaches in to fiddle with the handle. When the water starts running she turns and says, "It takes a few minutes to heat up and don't call my shower bum fuck."

"I call 'em like I see 'em," I tell her and smile.

She rolls her eyes and then she looks to the right of me before crossing her arms over her chest uncomfortably. I turn to see what she looked at and then look back at her in confusion. "Why are you doing that?"

She drops her eyes. "Nothing. It's nothing. Everything is always so harsh in the bathroom light."

And then I realize what the fuck is going on. I hate that. I hate that what she sees is apparently so much different from what I see when I look at her. I jump down from the sink until I'm standing right in front of her. I wrap my hands around her wrists and tug until she drops her arms. "Don't."

And then I tug on her arm until she's standing directly in front of me, her back pressed to my front, and we're both staring at the mirror. And fuck me if she's not like 100 times more attractive than I am.

"You know what's funny?" I whisper in her ear, hoping to wipe some of the tension from her. "Everything in this fucking place is so small except for this oversized mirror. It's like the bobble head on the tiny apartment body."

Her eyes stay downcast but she laughs lightly. "The landlady said it was a feature."

"The landlady probably has one hanging over her bed."

She laughs again and then starts pulling from my arms. "The shower's ready."

"It can wait." I wrap one arm around her waist and use the other to tilt her chin up. "Look," I command.

Her eyes rise slowly until she's staring at me in the mirror.

"At yourself," I tell her.

Her eyes shift just slightly and she frowns. "Nothing to write home about. Let's just shower. Don't want to waste water."

"Bella," I say impatiently into her ear. "Look. Really look. You're fucking beautiful."

She sighs and says, "We're beautiful. You make me beautiful."

It bothers me. I mean, I knew she was shy but I didn't know she was so self-conscious or anything. I can't say that I like it. At all. "No, baby, you've got it all wrong. Trust me."

"Edward," she sighs and puts her hands on my arm, leaning back into me until her head is resting on my shoulder. "Can we just get in the shower?"

I slide my hands up until they're covering her chest and then I squeeze. Her body jerks and she moans and presses back into me. "Do you believe me?" I ask and pinch both nipples, rolling them between my fingers until they're hard.

Her lips part, her eyes flutter shut, and she turns her head and brushes her lips over my neck.

I pinch her nipples again when she doesn't answer me. "Bella, answer me," I say and this time she writhes against me, ass straight up against my dick.

She nods twice and opens her eyes to look at me in the mirror. "Okay, I believe you."

"Watch your face," I tell her and slide my hands down and part her thighs.

I part her and slide two fingers inside of her. She gasps and reaches out, grabbing onto the arm I have wrapped around her. I start pumping them in and out of her and then I press my thumb down on her clit that's still sensitive from before.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Bella," I whisper in her ear and hold onto her tightly when I feel her body tensing. "Look at your face when you come for me. Come on, baby, come now."

I grab onto the hand she's using to hold onto to me and bring hers covered in mine down between her legs. I continue pumping my other fingers inside of her as I guide her fingers to her clit.

With a finger on either side, we start rubbing together, sliding up and down until she's crying out. I push her fingers together, closing over her clit, pinching it, and then she let's go and comes hard on both of our hands.

"Good girl," I whisper again and stroke her softly for a minute before dragging my fingers back up her body. "Did you like that?"

She just nods and drops her body back into my arms.

I turn her and drop a kiss to the top of her head.

"Let's get in the shower."

I follow her inside and watch her as she steps under the spray, watch as the water drips down her body.

"If I wash your hair will you wash mine?" I take a step forward in this ridiculously small bathroom and put my hands on the sides of her neck, stroking her cheeks with my thumbs.

She smiles and nods. "Is that another one of your things?"

I narrow my eyes and step forward again until we're pressed against each other. Her eyes widen when she feels my dick pressing into the softness of her stomach. "What do you mean, another one of my things?"

"You know," she says and moves slightly so that she brushes against my cock, "like having your back scratched."

She moves against me again and I groan. Her little smile makes it more than obvious that she's teasing me on purpose. "Bella," I whisper and lean down and press my lips to hers. "I'm hard again." I rub my dick against her and she gasps a little bit.

"We can't have sex in here," she says, eyes widening. "We'll get hurt. And I really don't want to go to the hospital naked."

I laugh and crush her lips to mine. "I fucking love you."

x*x

I stretch my arms up high over my head and then pull Bella's computer off of the coffee table and onto my lap. Last time I was on here I found some fucking awesome shit. I wait for it load.

"What are you doing in there?" I call out to her.

"I'm just drying my hair. I'll be out in a few minutes."

I nod and bring up the internet and pull up Facebook. It's still insane to me that she's friends with so many random people through this weird social network. Then again, something about this site always rubbed me the wrong way. But it seems to make her sort of happy so whatever.

I scan the home feed, the updates of all of the people that I don't know that somehow interact with my girl on a daily basis, and then hit the link for her Profile. I look over the page and then scroll down to see what everyone writes to her.

The first one, the top most recent post stops my heart. Alice Brandon wrote "It's only a matter of time before your stray leaves you for a new piece of tail and then you'll have wasted all your time with his little mutt for no reason."

I read it over and over again a few times as a certain calming numbness settles over my body. There will be time later to consider how completely fucking wrong I've been. Now it's just about saying what I need to and getting the fuck out.

I stand up and walk over to the bathroom door where she's blow drying her hair. When she doesn't notice me, I slap the wall hard. She jumps and puts it down, smiling at me. "Sorry, did you say something?" she asks.

"Who's Alice Brandon, Bella?" I ask her.

"One of my best friends. She was my college roommate."

"She's one of your best friends?" I feel the sickness settle in. Because if it's one of her best friends that can only mean… well.

"Yeah, I mean, she's one of the only people I talk to on a regular basis. She's the only reason I even go on there anymore. Edward, what's wrong?"

She takes a step towards me but I put my hands up and step back. "Please don't touch me," I tell her.

Her face drops and hurt crosses her eyes. "What's wrong?" she repeats.

"Do you talk to her about us?" I ask and then decide to clarify. "About me and Finn?"

"Well yes, she's one of my best friends and I wanted to tell her about you. I wanted her to know how happy you make me."

I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest. My heart is beating at an alarmingly fast pace. "And what? I'm the stray and Finn's the mutt?" I ask carefully because I'm angry enough to fuck my words up right now. "That's how the two of you refer to me and him?"

Her eyes narrow in confusion. "No. Why would you even say that?"

"You know what's funny?" I ask, ignoring her question. "You played me perfectly. Innocent little never had a drink, never been fucked Bella. It was a game the whole time, right?"

Her eyes fill with tears and she reaches for me but I just take another step back. "I was so fucking stupid. Inviting you to move out to California with us." I run my fingers through my hair roughly. "One fucking mistake after another and there you were sitting on your little computer talking shit about my fucking kid."

"Edward, you have to let me explain," she says frantically. "I didn't say anything about Finn—"

I slap my hand hard against the wall again. "Don't say his name," I snap at her. "Don't even fucking think about him again. Because I have to explain where you are, why you aren't coming with us, why the woman we both fell in love with turned out to be…" I raise my hands in the air and let them drop uselessly at my sides. "I don't know, Bella. I can't think of a better word than horrible to describe you."

She gasps and puts a hand over her heart. Her tears are falling now but I couldn't give a fuck less. Because it's true. Because I have to explain to a fucking four year old where his favorite friend is. Because everything I believed and loved about this woman was false.

"I have to go," I say more to myself than her. "I can't fucking be here."

"Please don't go," she says through her sobs as I turn for the door.

"Leave your key in my mailbox," I say without turning around.

And then I open the door, step outside of it in a move I didn't think I'd ever have to make, and slam it shut behind me.