Disclaimer: We all know how these work, I acknowledge that J.K. Rowlings, Warner Bros. and Scholastic own Harry Potter and all other characters and settings from cannon, and I get to write whatever I please and even add in characters of my own as long as I don't get any money. The no money sucks but there you go, at least I don't get lawyers knocking on my door. Addendum: If you recognize a name of a character from elsewhere it isn't mine.
A/N: This chapter is Harry's vision quest. I am basing this on my understanding of the process. I am not a Native American so if I get it wrong and someone out there knows it let me know so I can correct it please. Oh and Curse thanks for the reviews, and I'm not sure why you think so many squibs. So far as active characters I've got three. Liana Sri's sister in Bali that teaches Sirius and Harry muggle living,I picture Eastern society(Indonesian) to have very blurry lines between magical and muggle hence a lot more interaction between the societies. Beth who's mom is a weak witch and her biological dad was a muggle, whom S & H met while at a muggle resort on vacation. And last Melanie who like Beth is part muggle only met through her Grandfather because he knew her and needed a doctor familiar with muggle medical methods of resuscitation.
Sirius' Savior
Chapter 41 The Vision Quest
Yiska spoke softly to "Harry, you have fasted from food but I have let you have juices and broth the last several days from this point forward you will have only water until you have had your vision."
Harry still in a semi meditative state nodded his understanding."I have noticed that when you try to meditate you always face to the south east. Do you feel drawn that direction?" Harry nodded again. "Okay then that's the way we'll go." Yiska drove his truck to the southeast at every cross roads he would verify with Harry the direction. He thanked the spirits that in his current state Harry wasn't blowing out the truck windows. Four hours later he felt astonished. Harry was being drawn to one of the most sacred areas for the Navajo people Spider Rocks in the Canyon de Chelly National Monument. This could get sticky he thought. He was relieved when the ranger on the gate turned out to be Jim Shivers. Jim was his grand nephew, a wizard, and as a young man he was one of Yiska's former questers. "Jim, I didn't know you worked here."
"Uncle, how are you?"
"I am well."
"And your wife?"
"She is well also."
"What brings you down this way?"
"A vision quest, I and this young man wish to camp on the grounds of the park."
"A quest? Alright. I technically know I shouldn't but I know you and a quest shouldn't be denied."
"Thank you."
"Can you do your best not to be noticed?"
"Sure." Even as they pulled through the gate Yiska cast notice me not spells on himself and Harry. They eventually pulled up to the base of Spider Rocks. Harry got out and started to the rocks when he got to the base he started to climb. Yiska stopped him. "Where are you going?"
"Up, I need to go up." Harry said inwardly focused on something only he could sense.
Yiska inwardly swore. He cast a spell he had crafted years ago that allowed for a person to be able to climb like a spider then he tagged Harry with a tracking spell so he would be able to find him again. After casting the two spells he said "Okay climb."
He watched as Harry started to climb the rocks. He set a spell that would trigger a heavy duty cushioning charm on the ground if something were to fall he set the trigger to start at fifty feet. The sun was starting to set when he felt the tracking spell stop moving. He grabbed his broom from the truck along with a pack. He flew up to where he felt the tracking spells had stopped. Harry was on a ten foot wide ledge two hundred and seventy five feet up the rocks. Yiska deposited the pack next to Harry. "Is this the spot?" Harry nodded. "Okay stay here, the climbing spell will last until you come back down, don't forget your water be sure and drink. And if you're not back in three days I'll be back to check on you."
"Thank you."
Since it was almost dark Harry pulled the tarp the camp pad and the sleeping bag from the pack, in a matter of minutes he had a small shelter constructed. Tired from the climb he drank some water, climbed into his sleeping bag and slept.
Sunrise the next morning had Harry out of bed doing a brief combined Tai Chi and yoga workout ending with a sun salutation pose. After drinking some water Harry started to meditate he found it difficult at first he spent several minutes trying to find a position that he could concentrate in. His comfortable pose once he found it amused him. He lay on the ledge close to the wall that soared above him and he propped his legs above him against the wall. Had the world been on its side he would have been comfortably been sitting on the ground. He closed his eyes and started to inwardly focus. He reached out with his senses. He felt oddly connected to everything around him as he breathed in the scents of the desert around him.
He reflected on his life he had been such a mix of love and pain. His parents had loved him but they died. His friends and pseudo family on Bali they loved him but they too had died. But death is part of life, he himself had died mere weeks ago. The question was what was he going to do with the rest of his restored life. Why had he died? So he could destroy the piece of Voldemort's evil soul and be free to be a wizard. But what kind of wizard did he want to be? Did he only want to be a wizard? Why did he want to be a wizard? Was being a wizard so much better than a muggle? Muggle the word sounded disrespectful in that second he decided he would refer to anyone unable to do magic as a mundane rather than muggle or squib. He knew there were prophecies about him the one Morgana had made and the one in England, how would those affect him? What did he want of his life?
He drew his focus inward; it was an exercise Sirius had him do everyday since he woke up after the ritual. He had felt fuzzy and connected by his magic to everything since he woke up. Sirius had told him when he knew what was him and what wasn't he would feel better. He focused first on his skin the sun was warm and the feel of the air then he focused on the feel of the rock against his back and against his thighs he breathed in and concentrated on his breath, the beating of his heart and his connection to the earth. Suddenly he felt something like a snap. It almost hurt. As it faded Harry realized this was the feeling he used to have, it was a feeling he hadn't realized he missed until he got it back. He spent several minutes just enjoying the sensation. Then he focused again on his connection to the earth he lost track of time as his awareness went deeper with each breath he felt more in tune with himself, his magic, his connection to the earth, and the air around him.
When the sun was overhead he released his meditation and got up to get some water from his pack. He did four katas, the ones he could do on this ledge without endangering himself, and part of him wondered how he had got up here in the state he had been in the day before. It was beautiful and definitely served as a reminder of all that is good in the world. He ignored the rumble his stomach produced and drank a little more water. He sat on the edge of the ledge with his feet hanging over when he noticed an golden eagle carrying a rabbit flying to a ledge that was probably another hundred feet up. He smiled. He thought about the traditions that Yiska had spoken of the meanings of the different totem animals. The eagle came to mind because he had seen one. An eagle spirit meant the person it appeared to would have a singular walk in life and must face it head on. That freedom was paramount to such a person, both their own freedom and that of others. That balance and equality were important, and that the person needed to master patience, that material goods weren't important but that the soul was meditation was a must for a person with an eagle spirit. The person with an eagle spirit must learn to listen with more than their ears see with more than their eyes and speak with the understanding that words could be weapons and to speak kindly. That they should look at situations to see it from a larger perspective that they should use their gifts for the benefit of others.
He went back to his questions of the morning and found himself praying for answers. The Potter motto crossed his mind. A melior universitas per probitas charisma quod strength. How did he define a better world? He pondered these questions for a couple of hours. Mid afternoon he resumed meditating once again finding that his position of the morning was the most comfortable. He quietly reveled in the peace and connectedness he felt. As the sun set he decided to move his sleeping bag from his shelter to where it would cover him in his "Spot" and get some water. He really wished he was allowed food while doing this. He resumed his comfortable position against the rock face with a sigh and contemplated the night sky. After a couple hours his eyes drifted closed.
He looked around himself. How did he get here? He was sitting on what appeared to be the side of a skyscraper surrounded by other skyscrapers but some how all the buildings seemed like they were side ways. Part of him seemed to think he should be falling but somehow he knew he wouldn't.
"So you're here."
Harry whipped around to face himself. "Who? How? Where?"
"I'm you, you're dreaming, and this is your inner reality. Boy are we messed up!"
"What do you mean?"
"Hello! A not yet nine year old choosing to "die" to kill a soul fragment of his parents killer, so messed up."
"No it's not."
"You're not the tiniest bit angry that you had to die to get rid of it? And be honest cause I'll know if you lie."
Harry frowned. "Alright so I didn't like that part but it worked. So it's all good right?"
"Idealistic idiot. And what about all the overachieving? Trying to prove yourself worthy of dear old mummy and daddy's sacrifice? Don't you ever get tired of being such a goody two shoes? Always doing what you're told. I swear you are like an adult always sensible always doing the expected. What about being a kid?"
"Don't listen to him! He just thinks of himself."
Harry turned to see yet another version of himself. The new one spoke again. "There is nothing wrong with listening to those older and wiser than you there are reasons for them to be in authority over you. Trusting them and learning all you can and achieving all you can is a good thing."
"Trusting adults that say we're going to kill you is stupid. Survival is a good thing. Having fun is a good thing. Being a carpet to others bad, very bad."
"Getting rid of the soul fragment even at the cost of your life is a brave and noble thing." A third Harry had appeared. "Doing what is honorable is never wrong. Courage is doing what is right even if you are afraid. It was courageous to destroy the fragment."
"And look at what has happened since, it was illogical not to think beyond getting rid of the fragment."The second Harry spoke again.
"Give me or rather him a break, there was a problem he acted." a fourth Harry appeared.
Harry listened somewhat dismayed by the many arguments and attitudes the four other Harrys put forth about the decisions he had made as they argued. After what seemed like hours he drew a few conclusions then he spoke up."Shut up all of you. All of you have raised valid points about me my emotions, my thought processes, and my actions. BUT, I have heard enough from all of you and if you don't shut up I'll shove you off a building." The four Harrys all disappeared.
Left alone once more Harry decided to explore a bit. If took him a while but he figured out that he could get into the buildings and inside the building were rooms. Some of the rooms contained memories and the memories were not just what happened but colors and textures and scents every nuance. He found a room with the memory of his mother breast feeding him as an infant, it almost overwhelmed him because of the sensations. As much as he wanted to linger in that room he knew he couldn't, so he left. As he exited that building, he noticed one in the distance seemed to be smoking. He ventured closer. The smoking building felt different, alien, hostile. He ventured in. In one room he felt the memory of a teenage boy angry that his school, his home, was going to be closed and a sense of if I do this I'll trick them all then the school won't close. That room felt like the soul fragment so Harry fled the smoking building.
Seemingly minutes later his attention was drawn away from his explorations by a far away sound. He paused and closed his eyes to listen more closely. It was the sound of a wolf's howl. He opened his eyes, only to see a star strewn sky and a gibbous moon. He sat up. Was the wolf's howl his dream or something real?
A few minutes later he had his answer as the wolf howled again only this time his voice was joined by others. Harry listened as the entire group howled again; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, the next five voices brought a grin to Harry's face because they were the voices of pups not those of adult wolves. It astonished him to hear the pack he didn't think that were wild wolf packs in the lower forty-eight. He found himself joining their howls to the moon. He smiled and closed his eyes ad drifted back into a deep peaceful dreamless sleep.
Dawn came with a peaceful exuberance that Harry decided he wanted to feel everyday if he could. He decided he needed more activity this morning than Tai Chi or katas would give him so he decided to climb. Thankful for the spell that Yiska had placed on him he looked for his first hand hold. Fifty five minutes later he found himself on the ledge where the golden eagles had placed the nest. The notice me not charm that Yiska had placed must either work on the eagles as well as people or the eagle was part of his quest, Harry wasn't sure which. The nest had two eaglets that were just starting to get their feathers, they were cute in a homely sort of way, and one parent that appeared to be molting. Harry felt drawn to the adult but at the same time he didn't want to get too close, he'd read about what kind of damage an eagle could do.
He was surprised that the adult approached him. It eyed him closely. He hesitantly extended a hand toward the eagle it looked closely at his hand before stepping closer and brushing his hand with its body. He was shocked, he had just touched a wild eagle. It bumped his extended hand again. Harry gulped then moved forward a couple inches to increase the contact. As he ran his hand over the bird he noticed several of the feathers came loose. He held his breath as the eagle gave him one last look and turned and hopped back towards the eaglets. He gathered the molted feathers and watched as the eagle preened itself. A moment later he heard the screech of the eagle's mate as it came in to land bringing a small javelina in as food for it's family. It was apparent with the two birds side by side the male was the one that was molting. Harry decided that rather than push his luck he would go back to his ledge.
He had tucked the feathers into his shirt and was pleased when he got back to his ledge to discover than none of them had been damaged in his climb down. He sat down to think not to meditate but to think. He thought about the wolves last night and how they had seemingly reacted to his howls and smiled then he remembered what Yiska said about wolves. If you see a wolf it may be to teach you that all things have order amid chaos and to accept your duties in life with humility and strength. That you must have balance between yourself, your family and your community. That commitment and loyalty are traits to develop for balance, cooperation in achieving a common goal is necessary. Communication is key for any group. And that buckling down and defending yourself is sometimes the strongest move to make. A wolf spirit is to teach you to develop strength and confidence, to respect your own emotions and face your inner darkness. That you are to honor the forces of spirituality and connect with the life forces of the earth.
He put together his dream of last night, what Yiska said of the eagle and the wolves, and they questions he had asked himself and meditated trying to come up with a few answers. It occurred to him what an odd child he was, he was the only one of his acquaintance that seemed to be asking these sorts of questions at this age. He came to the conclusion that Sirius had started him thinking more like an adult than a kid back before he even was in school. He had made it fun but starting economics at age five was definitely not the norm. He supposed it was probably just as well Sirius had challenged him on so many levels because he never had liked to be bored. Of course how much of that stemmed from Liana's tendency to put him to work if he or Hadi had said "I'm bored" or if when she asked if he was doing something and he answered nothing. Being able to say I'm practicing whatever had gotten him out of extra chores plenty of times.
And he was smart like his mum. Sirius said his dad was smart but lazy and that he liked pranks. Harry asked himself if he played pranks because he liked them or if he played them so Sirius would say he was like his father. And there were benefits to using his intelligence in school. Sirius told him he would have more education under his belt than any other kids at Hogwarts when he went.
Hogwarts was a whole other ball game. He was going to it because it was his heritage it had a good reputation but Harry wondered if it was so. Some of Sirius' stories didn't exactly paint it in a favorable light. Harry's experiences with the wizarding world were so limited he didn't know if being a wizard really was so much better. Sometimes it sounded so backwards. Technomancy like Sirius worked on sounded interesting, as did auror or WIS type work but those were also dangerous. Of course being prophesied to oust dark lords also sounded dangerous and Harry was aware of two such prophecies even if he only knew the wording of one of them. Morgana's prophecy made it clear he was supposed to lead. Well better to be a smart leader than a stupid one. He was just a kid but even kids could develop their knowledge base and their leadership skills. Maybe that what the eagles meant he would walk a singular path never quite fitting in with his peers because someone had to lead, but the wolves were to remind him he wasn't alone, that he had to build community with others. He had managed to get centered and he no longer felt wildly out of control. He had more than most kids his age he had a semblance of a life direction but he didn't have all the answers. He didn't have to, he was still a kid. He packed his stuff up, careful to leave no trace. He started to climb down he estimated he had three hours until sun set that should be enough time.
Things didn't wind up going to plan Harry for the life of him didn't see how he had climbed up the way he had because going down every hold or place to set his feet seemed to lead to the far side of the rocks. He finally gave up and went with the flow. He did the last twenty five feet by moonlight, and ended on the far side of the rocks from the service road and Yiska in the dark he figured it would take him an hour in the dark to get there so he started walking. He wanted to give his shoulders a break from the pack so he took off one shoulder strap and undid the belt. He hadn't gone far when the rock he was standing on shifted causing him to fall and hit his head on an overhanging rock.
He woke up what he hoped was only a short time later unfortunately it was pitch black and he had lost his backpack not to mention his head was pounding. His face was being licked. He put his hands up to find out what was licking him because he couldn't see. It was dark and his glasses were Merlin alone knew where. He felt a dog like face and body that was small. It was soon joined by four more. Suddenly he realized these were the wolf pups he'd heard last night. A few minutes later he heard a growl the pups yipped their excitement and Harry flopped back down to the floor of the cave or overhang or whatever it was in order to make himself as non-threatening as possible. The wolf came over to him and sniffed him. After a few minutes it appeared the wolf decided he wasn't a threat and proceeded to ignore him much to his relief. The pups alternated between ignoring him and trying to include him in their play. Before dawn a second adult came into the den and brought a piece of wood into the den with it. The pup Harry couldn't help but think of as the alpha pup dragged the stick over and insisted Harry play tug-of-war with it. When the sun finally came up enough that Harry had light to see by the pup had worn itself out and had left the branch with Harry. Harry took the stick with him as he left the den on his way out he found his glasses an just outside he found his pack. He took the wood and added it to his pack before putting it on and hiking back to where Yiska had parked the truck.
Yiska looked up from his coffee cup. Harry was standing there he had a lump and a bruise near his temple but his magic was no longer flaring wildly. "Had your vision and found your guide?"
Harry nodded.
"Then lets go back." He poured the coffee on the camp stove into a thermos gave Harry some juice from the cooler and put everything back in the truck. Then they left.
A/N 2: Ugh. There I did it! I hope you all like it. Info on spirit guides came from .