This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up
I watched the two men in front of me, Butch was silent. They were both bruised from the fight they had when butch walked in on Stan attacking me. Hot tears ran down my face and I did my best to try to keep them in. I covvered my exposed chest with both sides of my ripped shirt, pulling it around me. I was so scared, terrified what butch would do.
There was a pause after Stan spoke, butch's face went collectivley blank.
"What..." butchs voice was hollow as if he was far away but he soon recovered. He was glaring at Stan now, full of anger, I watched them both it was like they were both rivals for me.
"what did you say?" he threatened,
Stan kept a cocky smirk dispite his briused face, he'd told butch about me and him, and my heart sank inside
"I've fucked your girlfriend before various times and she loved it" he was cut off. I heard a harsh thud as butch punched stan in the face, hard.
They tackeled eachother punching and shoving. I was froze on the bed in shock, I had caused this. Butch had been told about me sleeping with another man before I had the chance to tell him first. I looked down shamefully at the floor as i sunk into the sheets. Stan was proud of what he got from me, and he was rubbing it in butchs face.
I closed my eyes, what must he think of me now?
"faster" I begged. Our bodies bare and sweaty. Stan was going slow diliberatly building it up, the pleasure hitting us both. He felt this too and began to move faster, he thrusted harder inside me. I closed my eyes and bit my lip. I tilted my body and neck back slighty, my nails biting into his shoulder blades as he picked up the pace, ramming his hips against me. I dont know how it ended up like this. I was thinking of butch at split moments when my eyes were shut, stans hair was dark like butch's, the raw lust in his eyes was just like butch. I couldn't think of anything else but the feel of him inside me.
"say my name" he demanded in dark needy tones, I shuck my head, not wanting to give, he moved me to an angle more for his benefit, the sound of our slapping flesh was loud despite our moans.
"say it" he repeated, my face was hot and my breath thick panting hard to what he was doing. I whimpered softly reaching my climax, he smirked down at me, his eyes so dark.
"say it" his deep voice was rough with lust. We moaned loader, his bed squeaked thrust by thrust.
"Stan" I said softly moaning his name, "Stan" i could feel him deeper, faster, harder "Stan!" i moaned shakily our bodies ramming. Stan pounding himself in and out. He lifted my back up slighty with one hand, arching my body. I felt my release as he bit at my throat.
I shuddered at my own actions then, I zoned back into the room
"bastard, you fucking liar" butch growled, he dragged stan to his feet pinning him against the wall by his throat, until butch was quickly kneed between the legs, he groaned and let go leaving Stan free, butch was hunching over in pain. I couldn't help but run to him and help him stand up straight, i put my hand around his arm helping him up he didn't look at me, or speak to me, but he also didn't stop me from helping him stand.
I rubbed his bruised arm gently trying to sooth it but he turned it away from me and batted my hand away, so I just stood there next to him, i didn't know what to say and I couldn't deny the truth any longer.
Stan spat out blood from his bust lip.
"i aint lying. ask her yourself, babe?" Stan looked over to me motioning for me to confirm what he was telling butch, i started to shake looking down, my blonde hair fell into my face as I began to sob.
butch didn't say a word, he was silent and closed up. I could see that his back and entire body was tense
"come on butch all the boys know, or haven't you heard?" There was a silence and It was numbing,
Stan's words were genuine as they hung in the air.
I knew Stan was forceful, he tried to rape me today. I must have just been oblivious or just let it happen those other times, but that wasn't me. I had no answers. Nothing to justify.
I wasn't strong enough to stop him. He was physically stronger, I was weak.
I looked up at Butch and he turned to me, unable to speak.
Butch looked into my eyes, searching for an answer. His face was blank but his jaw tense. The silence was deadly and it spoke the truth. I had cheated.
"and she didn't stop me" stan didn't know when to stop. he didn't know how dangerous his word were for his health if he didnt keep his mouth shut, I should have taken ace up on that offer.
butch lost it at that moment. I flinched as he quickly through himself towards stan to smack him but he ducked and punched butch back, it started again they were fighting viciously in my apartment.
"stop. stop it!" I was pleading with them both, so that they wouldn't get hurt or end up killing eachother.
moments later Stan fled the room, quick rummaging movements heard as he quickly disappeared decending down the stairs
his footsteps were loud and fast as he dissapeared out of the apartment, which he was wise in doing because I had a feeling butch would have killed him. Stan knew it was best for his sake to run and leave butch to deal with me. He shuffled standing straight and turning to look at me.
"what's he talking about bubbles?" his voice was deadly calm and that scared me, his face was blank but the fierce look in his eyes told me he could snap at any moment.
"I... I'm so sorry, I was going to tell you" my voice almost cracked. He looked shocked but didn't say anything for a moment
"what?" his eyes darkened, he looked so sinister, hurt, angry all these emotions tied up with in him, it was all my fault. He looked at me with what seemed to be disbelief and disappointment as if he thought it was impossible for such a good girl like me to do something like this
"please don't hate me" I told him honestly, the shame I felt was building up.
"don't hate you? you.." he spoke slowly, his dark eyes clouded over.
he stopped talking, unable to say the words. I still couldn't believe i did such a thing. Poor butch, he must feel humiliated to find out this way but i felt worse I truly did. I hated this trap I had fell into
"i didnt mean to" I was trying to explain that it meant nothing to me, me and Stan. I only wanted that with butch, only one man. even if I...
He scowled at me
"you fucked him" his harsh words and the dirty way he put it made it sound even worse. I couldn't blame him if he hated me.
Silence filled the room again I could feel his deep hate and frustration and I just felt like crying.
He suddenly stood up and walked over to me, his proximity so close as I backed into a wall. I could feel his hot breath catching my face, his rested one hand on the wall near my head as he drew his face closer, his features rough and cold as he looked at me i could see i had hurt him
"why" he truly didn't want to believe it, but he did. I could see his hurt, even if he was good at hiding his feelings I could still see it.
my whole body shivered with fear, I loathed myself, he just watched me closly waiting for a reply. I could practically feel him looking at me in disgust, my back tensed.
I tilted my head down in shame, a few blonde strands of hair fell into my face
"I'm sorry" I felt a tear run down my cheek.
"why bubbles?" he asked again
he then put on a dirty tone but i could tell it was forced "was this not good enough?" he grabbed my hips and pulled me towards him then curved his hands down my sides to grip my butt, he was taking this wrong that didn't have anything to do with it.
"it wasn't like that, I'm sorry" he narrowed his eyes, not taking pity on me
"when?" he asked. "when did it happen?" he raised his voiced at me
the walls where closing in i couldn't take it
"not long ago" I replied
he turned away from me quickly, violently tossing a book stand over on its self and the glass on it smashed as it hit the floor he was pacing around my room looking for any thing to destroy in his path
butch shoved my side cabinet over in quick moments, the thick books made a harsh thud as they hit the ground,
I tried not to be scared, I couldn't be scared of the man I loved. he breathed heavily with anger and ran his fingers through his hair, then he stood there not facing me, silent.
"butch please talk to me. please" I was scared now. Afraid he'd leave me forever. What would i do without him.
"fucking bitch" he snapped, he slipped on his mask of indifference
"how many times?" he asked. I looked at him and couldn't bear to say. I gulped but before i could answer, but he did for me
"more than once" he guessed but he already knew. he kept his pride and put a sly voice on as if he didn't care
"you know, i over heard something ace said, i knew there was something, you've been lying to me for a while" he said.
I didn't speak. I guess he could read me like a book after all
"I'm not stupid bubbles, you had plenty of chances to tell me" he said slowly and quietly
I could see he guessed that why I was acting weird around ace as he knew about stan butch linked that together and he clearly understood it all made sense.
"I asked you the other night what was wrong, if you were going to tell me, why didn't you?" he was right. I was scared to that's why.
"butch, I was scared to tell you." I admitted and he frowned
"why? are you fucking scared of me?" he shouted, I didn't answer and he raised his eyebrow. "well?"
"i didn't want you to leave me" I said the simple truth. I saw war pass through his eyes, i could see the thought of me and stan together in bed in his eyes he shook his head to the left he was disgusted
"I'm going to kill him," he said determined
"no, butch..." i didn't want that. butch would get put in prison for a good portion of his life for murder
"why not? your my girl. not his! "he pushed me down on the bed, grabbing my hands tight and pinning them above my head, i winced in pain and nearly squealed
"is this what you wanted? this why you did it? slut " his words cut me deep as he spoke, i was crying now, hot tears ran down my face
"butch please, i didn't want him i didn't want any of it, he.." I stopped myself before I...
I just cried turning my head away for his so he couldn't see my broken face
I could see from the corner of my eye that his eyes widened.
he looked at me, suddenly stopping and got off me. he rubbed gently at my tear stained cheek all that hate he had then in that moment turned to sorrow and regret for scorning me
"baby, i did realise" his regret was in his tone. and he was anger again now but it wasn't aimed at me it was aimed at something else. he jaw tensed with anger
"did he force you?" war clouded over his eyes as he asked me that question
I didn't know what to say. I didn't know the words, or what to tell him
I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me
A/N: here it is sorry for the long wait but my life's been pretty hectic atm
hope you guys liked this chapter! and can i just say that for some reason im not completely 100 percent happy with this chapter but i did try, i just feel as if i could do better and if any of you have any advice on how i can improve or any constructive critism? i would really appeciate it!
anyweys thanks for being patient and thank you so much for reading :)
if you have any tips at all let me know, or ideas or questions? thanks again.