Inspired by a prompt from sara345 over at the drabble meme. (Rachel's midwife flirts shamelessly with Puck.)
Sorry for any mistakes, it's 2am and I'm super-tired, haha. Also, fanfiction's formatting seems to hate me, jsyk. xD

When Rachel's water breaks, it's safe to say that her fiancé Noah has a slight panic attack. She's standing in the kitchen when it happens, and all she can do is clutch the glass of milk in her hand and stare at the puddle of water on the tiled floor in a strange kind of awe. Noah, on the other hand, sinks into a chair, his face pale and his eyes wide. For Rachel, it's rather alarming, as Noah has never been the type to stare at the wall, his face completely blank, as he takes deep, calming breaths. She barely has time to adjust to his sudden change in character however, as after only half a minute of his breathing session, he's jumping off the chair and sprinting into the living room. Rachel follows, and can only watch, in a state of both shock and amusement, as he races back and forth in a tornado of panic and worry, yelling random swear words as he tries to find her maternity bag and his car keys.

His driving on the way to the hospital scares Rachel more than the thought of having to push a baby out of a place that seems much too small to have to push a baby out of. She clings to the car door as Noah navigates his way through the New York City traffic at a speed that can not be considered safe, repeatedly asking her if she's okay. She's fine. Personally, she thinks he's over-reacting, especially since she's only had a few contractions, and they're still at least nine minutes apart. When she tries to tell him this, he yells at her. Then apologizes eight times in a row. She's never seen him like this before and she thinks it's simultaneously both the sweetest and most annoying thing she's ever seen.

At the hospital, Noah calms down a little when the midwife tells him that they still have quite a while to wait. He apologizes again, and strokes Rachel's hair gently as the midwife shows them to a private room. Noah hasn't yet met the midwife, and he shakes her hand briefly as she introduces herself as "Elizabeth, but you can call me Lizzie." Rachel rolls her eyes and huffs under her breath. She doesn't for one second, miss the way that "Lizzie's" eyes rake over his muscled body, lingering on his backside when he bends over to help Rachel get comfortable in her bed. She's used to women checking her fiancé out, but she thinks it's much more inappropriate to do so when his partner is clearly about to give birth to his child. She frowns at the woman, who isn't even paying any attention to her, and is instead asking if this is Noah's first child and if he's feeling okay.

"It... hurts!" She's moaning through gritted teeth as yet another contraction sweeps over her body. They're now happening every two minutes and they're lasting up to thirty seconds at a time. It's painful, to say the least, and Noah is looking guilty and concerned as he offers Rachel his hand to squeeze. She takes it and grips hard, squeezing her eyes tightly closed as she counts the seconds in her head. When it's over, she collapses back into her pillows and whimpers, her free hand rubbing her stomach slowly.

"Oh dear," Elizabeth says sympathetically, and pats Rachel's cheek as though she knows how she's feeling. Rachel openly scowls at her. With her trim, toned figure, curly blonde ponytail and heavily made-up eyes, she looks as though she's just out of college. Certainly not old enough to have a child of her own. "Can I get you anything?"

Rachel resents the fact that her midwife is smiling warmly at her fiancé as she asks. She mumbles grumpily under her breath, but no one seems to hear her.

"Um, some water for Rachel would be great," Noah responds, his fingers trailing softly down Rachel's sweaty cheek.

Elizabeth nods and beams at him. "You're very sweet. Coming right up."

She leaves the room with a flip of her hair and a sway in her step, clearly desperate for Noah's attention. Rachel almost growls.

"I hate her," She declares and struggles to sit up a little.

Noah looks alarmed as he assists her and fluffs her pillows. "What, why? She seems nice."

"Are you honestly completely oblivious to the fact that she's openly flirting with you?"

He laughs, and it enrages her. She punches him on the arm with as much strength as she can muster up, which evidently by his lack of reaction, isn't much.

"Baby, you're being fucking ridiculous. She's hear to help us."

Rachel stares at him murderously, but doesn't reply. He smirks at her and hands her the remote to the the television that's across from her bed.

"Besides, even if she is flirting, can you blame her? Everyone wants a piece of the Pucksaurus."

She flings the remote at him just as another contraction starts. Her aim is terrible and it hits the wall behind him. He laughs again but lets her squeeze his hand anyway, despite her attempts to injure him.

Elizabeth eventually returns with not just water for Rachel, but with coke and cake for Noah because apparently, he "has to keep his strength up".

"I'm the one in labour!" Rachel protests, but the midwife doesn't seem to hear her.

Rachel's now nine centimetres dilated and almost ready to go to the delivery room. Her contractions are only mere seconds apart, and it's the most pain she can ever remember experiencing in her life. Her face is wet with sweat and tears, and Noah is murmuring comforting words into her ear as she battles the agony of another contraction. Elizabeth's hand is on Noah's shoulder as she offers Rachel her other hand to squeeze. Rachel slaps it away and squeezes her eyes shut, not even wanting to look at the woman. Through the pain, she can hear the midwife laugh it off, saying something along the lines of "The poor girl, can you even imagine?" and she's not sure she's ever felt so angry, and emotional and even a little jealous that Elizabeth's all pretty and thin, when she's big and tired and messy.

After the contraction has faded, she opens her eyes to Noah staring at her anxiously. She manages to give him a weak smile and reaches up to touch his cheek, terrified for the birth but excited to meet the child that they'd made together. He smiles back and kisses her gently on the lips.

The doctor and a nurse are conversing at the bottom of her bed, and Elizabeth is standing just behind Noah with a damp wash cloth in her hand. She hands it to him, who proceeds to wipe the sweat from Rachel's face softly.

"So caring. You're going to make a great dad, Noah."

The second she hears Elizabeth call her fiancé Noah, Rachel can feel all those crazy pregnant-women hormones just explode. Noah can obviously tell, as he smooths back her hair in a calming motion and then turns to the blonde.

"Actually, uh, you can call me Puck. My nickname."

The girl beams and touches his arm briefly. "Puck, how charming."

Then Rachel loses it. With great effort, she pushes herself up, ignoring the nurse's protests against her doing so, and glares at Elizabeth as though she wants to pull the curly blonde hair straight from her head.

"You have to back off." She says clearly, threateningly. "Noah will be a wonderful father, but to my baby. I don't know who you think you are, but flirting so casually with a pregnant woman's partner whilst she is about to give birth and can very clearly see you is most certainly not acceptable by any means! Noah is mine, and you have single-handedly managed to make this entire procedure a little more unbearable for me. As though it's not stressful and painful enough!"

She feels the familiar rippling of another contraction and she groans loudly, leaning back on her elbows. There is complete silence in the small hospital room. Noah is positively grinning at her, the doctor and the nurse are staring at her in surprise, and Elizabeth looks completely taken-aback and a little humiliated.

"I demand -ah!- another midwife, right now, because -ouch!- I simply can't deal with this bitch a moment longer!" She collapses with a series of grunts, whimpers and moans, as the nurse takes a stunned Elizabeth's arm and leads her from the room. Puck begins to laugh as she squeezes his hand, and he peppers kisses all over her face.

"You're a fucking badass, baby," He says happily. "I'm so goddamn proud of you."

Rachel manages to gasp out a laugh too, even though there are tears streaming down her face. "Well one of us had to say something!" She groans loudly and clutches her stomach, watching through tired eyes as the doctor at the end of the bed leans down to examine her cervix once more. "I was pretty amazing, wasn't I?"

"Damn straight. I fucking love you."

Less than an hour later, an emotional Rachel is lying on her bed with a newborn baby girl in her arms. Noah lies beside her, stroking the baby's soft wisps of hair with a look of complete adoration on his face.

"She's gorgeous." He breathes out, and Rachel murmurs her agreement, letting out a happy sigh. Carefully, she passes the baby over to her fiancé, and curls up into his warm body, letting her eyes drift close. She's never been so exhausted and happy in her entire life.

"Next time, I insist on selecting the midwife by a series of interviews and personal recommendations." She says tiredly, and the last thing she hears before drifting off into sleep is Noah's quiet laughter and a baby girl's tiny sigh of content.

Review? :)