Disclaimer: All recognizable characters still belong to S.M.
Thanks to all who have sent encouraging words and added alerts and favorites. I absolutely love every one of them. Special thanks to HaletoNorthman for previewing this chapter for me. There is some heavy material involved here, but I felt it necessary to the storyline and want to be true to the original brilliant works of Stephanie.
And let's see, Jasper is off this weekend to play with LilyoftheValley77 (Good luck with your husband, *snicker*).
Previously in the story:
Jasper drove straight to his hotel and parked the car. He opened my door and led me back to his suite following the familiar pattern of placing his key and my purse onto the table in the foyer, he pulled my cell phone out, handing it to me, "Don't forget to text Emmett and Mike, I don't want them mad at me."
I laughed.
"Drink?"
"Sure."
Only At Night
Chapter 7
Fantasies
We walked together to the bar and Jasper poured two shots, "1, 2, 3 missed ya darlin'."
He smiled warmly at me.
Hmm, I had missed him too. We downed the shots and he pulled me into a tight embrace, lingering for several minutes. I had missed his touch, his hands on my skin.
"I bought something for you, well, for us really, actually, I think I might enjoy it even more than you will. Would you mind indulging a cowboy's fantasy?" Jasper shot me a wicked smile.
Oh hell. What the hell kind of fantasy could he be considering, we already had sex in the car in public, put on a show for a cab driver, food foreplay, fucked while the concierge was 30 feet away in the same room, upside down over the bar, in the shower, on the floor, I've danced, stripped, walked around naked for two days, what the hell could he be fantasizing about?
My silence must have made him nervous; he started to fidget and was opening those hot little lips to speak.
"Yes, Jasper, tell me what you want, tell me your fantasies; I want to bring them all to life for you." What the hell did I just get myself into? Please God don't let it be anything I'll regret.
Jasper kissed the top of my head. "Darlin', I would never ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, please don't ever agree to do something you don't want to do. Having you share fantasies with me is the ultimate fantasy in itself, it's all I need."
I felt a little stupid for agreeing like that, but his kiss made it all seem ok somehow. Where did this man come from? "Thank you." I relaxed and leaned into him wrapping my arms around his waist. "Now, what did you have in mind?" I gave him a sly smile.
"Well, I bought you boots." His grin grew nervous. It was beyond cute.
I burst out laughing, that was all, boots? "Oh Jasper." He was so sweet.
"And a hat…."
I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed him. I felt a new type of warmth spread through my body.
"And, well, some lingerie." His eyes diverted back and forth from my eyes to the floor in front of him.
"I see; now where is this new wardrobe of mine cowboy?" I was suddenly so excited. He did this for me, he shopped for me??
"Bedroom closet." He actually blushed.
"Uh huh, now you sit back and get comfortable and I'll be right back." I said in between little kisses down his neck. This I could handle, it was sort of sweet.
I closed the bedroom door behind me and started stripping off my clothes as I headed for the closet.
Some lingerie, holy shit, he must have spent a small fortune. Hanging in the closet was a small boutique. The selections ranged from sweet and innocent, to playful, all the way to downright raunchy crotch less get ups. Hell yeah, this could be fun.
Standing on the floor was a pair of black boots with red trim and on the shelf above the rod, a black hat. I pulled them out and tried them on, of course, a perfect fit; sneaky little bastard. Every article in the closet was exactly my size. Flipping through the closet I found the perfect cowgirl inspired ensemble to go with the boots and hat.
I wiggled into the black fringed, red thong, it looked like a miniskirt in the front with the fringe starting at the band and dipping into a sharp V at the crotch. The top was a matching bra with fringe attached to the bottom and a gold star centered over the left nipple. All I needed was a gun belt and handcuffs. I stopped myself right there. No, handcuffs were not a good idea. I looked into the mirror and suddenly thought of my dad. A tear rolled down my cheek, poor Charlie, I laid him to rest with a similar star over his heart. I wiped my eye and pushed the thought down.
Jasper was waiting. Quickly I twisted my hair into two longs braids on either side of my face behind my ears and pushed the hat down on my head.
Walking out to the bar area I found Jasper pouring two shots. "Hold it right there cowboy." I tried to sound sexy. I felt sexy. "I hear tell you've been naughty."
"Fuck me!" Jasper's mouth dropped open making me giggle.
"Now is that any way to talk to the law, son?" Oh, this was fun. I swung my hips in exaggeration letting the fringe swing as I sauntered over to my cowboy.
I giggled as I watched the bulge in the front of his Levi's grow, stretching at the fabric, filling out the wrinkles in the front of his jeans.
"Sorry ma'm." Jasper closed his gaping mouth and stared seductively at me licking his lips.
Feeling very confident, I strutted across the remaining distance between us and pushed him back on the bar chair and wiggled so that the fringe danced back and forth for him. I handed him his drink and took mine, raising the glass to him, "1, 2, 3 now you may fuck me."
I barely finished the shot before Jasper grabbed me pulling me to him causing the glass to drop to the floor. His lips were on mine moaning into my mouth, "Oh Bella, I want you so badly."
"Lucky for you then, you can have me cowboy." Please, please, please take me now I thought to myself.
His shirt flew over his head and his pants were coming down while he hopped around the floor trying to pull off his boots to extract the pants. He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms lifting me off my feet wrapping my legs around his waist. He stumbled forward into the wall where he took me, banging me into the wall with each thrust. I clung to him squeezing my legs tighter. I never wanted anyone more than I wanted Jasper right now, and not just the sex, I wanted him. I wanted to be close to him, his hands running up and down my body.
I heard the thong between us rip, his hand wound around the delicate fabric, throwing it to the floor. This time lasted significantly longer than the car; he brought me to the edge and slowed changing his hold on me before starting to rebuild momentum. The heat rose through my body and teased me to no end. I tangled my fingers through his hair pulling him to me. Each time I felt myself about to fall over that cliff he moved to another piece of furniture and slowly brought me back again until I couldn't take it anymore and begged him to make me cum. Oh and did I cum, so fiercely I shook and just when the quivering stopped he attacked my clit with his fingers and brought me screaming over the edge again biting my nipples and playing my sensitive engorged, throbbing nodule like a guitar. God it was pure bliss.
When I finally thought I might be able to stand on my own I slid down him and slapped his ass, "That's for ripping my new outfit, I liked it."
"I'll fix it, I liked it too. It was my favorite, I'm so glad you picked it first." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively, first huh?
We both laughed while we tried to catch our breath.
"How about I pick the next outfit darlin'?" He was biting his lower lip and God he looked hot.
"Ok, but good lord I need to rest cowboy." Was he trying to bring about a heart attack or what?
"No more sex, just a fashion show." He played with the braids in my hair and kissed my neck blowing lightly on the sensitive area drying his trail behind him.
"Well, I'm not sure I can agree to no more sex, but how about a few passes on the catwalk and you can put it on a list for latter if you see something that you just can't live without." I needed a rest not a skidding halt.
"Perfect darlin'." He left me in the Living Room and shook his little ass for me as he walked to the bedroom, looking over his shoulder arching his eyebrows. Mmm, I wanted him again already.
His first selection surprised me; it was on the sweet side. I thought he might have gone a little more risqué. I changed and headed back out to model it for him. Doing my best to capture the essence of the selection I meandered around in front of him trying to act all shy and sweet. Jasper sat back against the couch clearly enjoying my enthusiasm. I was surprised by how much fun I was having. I felt like a kid playing dress up.
Alternating selections Jasper picked out some fun role playing attire and some of the raunchy numbers, but mostly he chose the ultra feminine pieces that made me feel sexy, safe and beautiful.
Wanting to give him a show he'd not soon forget and maybe some fuel for his own fantasies I found myself really getting into character. The French maid, although cliché, was one of my favorites. Dancing around the room bending over to dust in front of Jasper was just plain fun. It seemed Jasper was enjoying the joviality too, he laughed with me when I tripped trying to dance kick my leg over my head in one of the raunchier stripper inspired pieces and he ooh'd and ahh'd appropriately for a little pink satin baby doll.
It was getting late and I was growing tired. I came out in the next piece, white silk, reminiscent of a wedding night ensemble, feminine and sexy but not over the top. I walked through the door to find Jasper standing by the door waiting for me.
"I can't take it anymore, I need you now." He ran his hand through his mop of curls letting out an exasperated sigh.
"Well, did any of the pieces make your list of 'can't live without it'?" I smiled up at him feeling so content.
"Yes." He seemed off, something was different.
"Which one cowboy?" I teased.
"All of them." His voice shook and he all but pulled his hair out running both hands from his face over the top of his head and finally resting on the back of his neck.
"Very funny." He was scaring me now, what the hell was wrong?
"I'm not joking. You could wear a paper bag and I couldn't live without it. I just want you." He lifted me up carrying me to the bed laying me gently against the pillows. He pulled his pants off on the way to the other side of the bed and crawled in next to me pulling me into his chest, kissing the top of my head.
"Is it ok?" He caressed my shoulder and whispered into my ear, pulling me closer to his chest.
"Yes." I felt the heat of his chest on my back and his breathing in my ear and on my neck and wanted nothing more than him.
We made love. No fucking, no furniture breaking, wall thrashing, no fantasy role playing; only gentle, tender, magical love. The last time anyone made love to me was six and a half years ago, it didn't even come close to comparing with this. This was just amazing; the connection was like a spark that ignited with our intensity. The sex was always fabulous with my cowboy but this wasn't just sex, not tonight. He made me feel like I have never felt before, respected, an equal, and a partner. We were quiet afterwards. I felt so content and safe in his arms and neither of us spoke. Truthfully I was too worried that I would say something stupid and ruin what had just happened. I had to believe he had felt the same connection. Voicing it was a risk I just couldn't take yet. Falling asleep in Jasper's arms just made it all the sweeter.
Saturday we slept in, it was early afternoon before we woke up. Jasper had work to do and I couldn't afford to fall any further behind in school work. If I was being honest with myself, which of course I wasn't, I was just plain scared shitless. What the hell happened? I let myself feel, why? He was more guarded this morning than I had seen him; he wasn't smiling his typical grin that lit up his whole face. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. I suggested that I probably needed to go home today and he quickly acquiesced, he didn't argue.
I went to the bathroom and washed up, brushing my teeth and hair and quickly dressed. When I came back into the bedroom Jasper had shopping bags loaded up with the boots, hat and the lingerie purchases. Insisting that I take them home with me Jasper carried the bags to the foyer and pressed the button for the elevator. He walked me to my car and deposited the bags into the back.
The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach grew with each passing second that he stood staring at me, looking for the right words. Oh god, this was going to hurt.
He opened my car door and let me climb in. He leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. Retreating he said "Drive safe darlin'." He closed the door behind me and turned and walked back into the hotel. I watched him recede through the rearview mirror as tears streamed down my face.
I drove home and threw the bags into my spare bedroom, I couldn't look at them.
Torture was my new best friend the next week. What had happened? We went from strangers having fun to lovers. If it kept up any longer I'd be falling over a different cliff. The twinge of caring for him was mocking me. Jasper treated me so well, but we still knew nothing about each other. Still we had exchanged no last names, numbers or personally identifiable way to track one another.
What did he want? Would I see him again? Could I see him again? Should I see him again? Was I capable of more? Did he even want more?
The questions and nagging feelings haunted me day and night. I went to work and ignored Jay completely. At school I sat back and listened but didn't participate, didn't volunteer answers. I responded when called on and that was about it. My tax professor asked me to stay at the end of class on Friday. He wanted to know if there was something wrong that he could help with. How humiliating.
Friday night came and I was more confused than I had ever been. Debating skipping the bar altogether I rummaged through my unwashed laundry basket for my robe; I found the ripped western styled thong. Clutching it to my chest I lay across my bed and cried. God, what was wrong with me?
If I hoped he was there tonight and he didn't show I'd be crushed. Would he get the wrong impression and decide I wasn't worth it if he was there and I didn't show?
Rushing through the shower I cleaned up and picked out one of the sets Jasper seemed to like just in case. I grabbed a skirt and low cut top and dressed quickly. I didn't bother with much in the way of makeup and twisted my hair in a fast French roll.
He wasn't there, it was late and he wasn't there.
Mike started the shots and I searched the room on the verge of a panic attack.
"He's not here Bella." Mike put the bottle back behind the bar.
"That obvious, huh?"
"Only to me love, 1, 2, 3 fuck it."
Mike stayed near as much as he could all night. I didn't feel like dancing, I didn't want to talk. It was just stupid to sit there brooding.
"Mike, I'm gonna go home." I told him, getting up from my stool and pushing it in.
"You sure?" Mike handed me my purse and held onto my hand for a moment.
"Yeah." I took my purse and pulled my hand back.
"Text me that you got home ok. If he shows up do you want…." He looked at me with worry and concern in his eyes.
"STOP, don't say it. I'll text you when I get home." I couldn't handle being pitied
So I left alone, not by choice.
I texted Mike that I was home safe and went to put ice on my throbbing hands. I was really such a fool. I actually beat up my steering wheel. Like it was the steering wheel's fault it brought back sweet painful memories.
Saturday night was a repeated exercise in futility. The only difference, I wouldn't even talk to Mike.
The second week I just cried. Jay told me to take a couple days off, the stress from school was obviously getting to me he mused. My classmates stared, waiting for me to crack, hoping I'd fall off my self imposed pedestal. None of my professors even called on me. I guess having the perfect GPA and being the editor of the law review bought you some space and time at the very least. I knew it wouldn't last long, not in this shark tank.
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.
I finally admitted it to myself on Friday afternoon. I cared about Jasper. We had made love and I panicked. My leaving probably freaked him out. What the hell was I going to do if he didn't show up again?
I got my answer two hours later at the bar. I would storm out and cry all the way home. I was such an idiot. I cried myself to sleep on my bed. Startled to attention by the ringing phone, I couldn't remember the last time the intrusive plastic rang.
"Hello?"
"Bella, its Rosalie. I am picking you up in half an hour for lunch, you can't say no so I suggest you go wash the mascara off your cheeks and get dressed."
Click.
Rosalie picked a quiet empty diner for lunch where we could sit for ever and talk without getting thrown out and where we were unlikely to be seen by anyone we knew. Rosalie complained about the weather on the drive from my house to the diner, chatting away so that I wouldn't have to.
While we sipped our iced teas waiting for the waitress to bring our food Rosalie started down the inevitable path I knew was coming but dreaded nonetheless.
"Bella, how long ago was it that your heart was so broken?" She didn't pull any punches; straight to the crux of it she went full steam ahead.
"Six and a half years."
"Go on." She stirred her tea and sat back waiting.
"There isn't that much to tell, I was young, 18, and I thought we were going to spend forever together. He had said he wanted us to spend forever together. There were complications and the family's friends didn't approve of me. He decided I wasn't good enough for him and he told me he couldn't pretend anymore and that I'd never see him or his family again, that it would be like he never existed. Then he just left me alone in the middle of the forest. His parents moved the family and I have never seen or heard from him again. He broke my heart, I was devastated, and he was my entire life. I didn't take the breakup very well. The first few months were terrible; I was completely withdrawn and shut out everyone. I have never been able to get over it."
"Bella, don't you have anyone you could talk to, your parents, anyone?"
"No, my mother remarried when I was 16, her new husband traveled for work and they didn't really want me around so I moved in with my dad. I didn't know anybody in the town, everyone else had known each other since diapers. I started dating my boyfriend pretty soon after I arrived. My boyfriend was really my only friend; I pushed everyone else away because he always wanted to be alone together and monopolized all of my time. In fact he even forbad me to see some of my friends. Just after my boyfriend dumped me my mother was diagnosed with cancer. She was always more than a little eccentric and refused conventional treatment opting for natural remedies. No matter how much I begged her, she didn't listen. It was a pretty long and drawn out painful death. Her husband blamed me for 'bringing her down' with my silly boyfriend problems and has been in the bottom of a bottle ever since her death. He refuses to speak to me."
"That wasn't your fault Bella, what about your father?" Rosalie was sitting forward at the table now.
"My father, he was a good guy I guess, I didn't really know him all that well. I showed up on his doorstep to live with him and messed up his exciting schedule of fishing, eating out, watching sports and running around as the police chief of the town he lived in. He never liked my boyfriend much and had absolutely no idea what to do with a crying eighteen your old hormonal girl. He never got over my mother leaving him, so we sat around in self pity together for the next year. End of my first year of college I got a call from my dad's best friend, my dad was killed in the line of duty."
"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry, so then you have no family?"
"Nope, not a one, we were all only children and all my grandparents are gone. Emmett and Mike are the only people I would consider family now."
"Bella, can I tell you a story?" Rosalie sat forward in the booth and leaned in over the table.
"Sure." I'm sure she thinks telling me about some breakup will make me feel better. She has no idea.
"Bella, how much do you know about me, my past?" She looked a bit nervously around the room as if she was ensuring no one would hear us. The place was empty, not much of a concern.
"Nothing really." I sipped my tea.
"What I am going to tell you is extremely personal and I would appreciate it if you kept it between us." I nodded as she continued into her story. "Before Emmett I was engaged to another man."
"Oh." I wondered if Emmett knew, surely he must.
"Bella, I come from a pretty wealthy family. Daddy is on of those captains of industry types. Most of the money comes from granddaddy and great-granddaddy though. My fiancé was still way out of my league. He came from a very powerful, very wealthy, influential family. If I told you his name, you would know it; there aren't many people in this country who don't. As I said very prestigious pedigree. Anyway, I was beyond thrilled that I was the girl he chose, even though my station was below his. I was so caught up in the fairy tale romance and the love I thought we shared nothing else mattered but him. One weekend about three months before we were to be married all the girls were going out and all the guys were getting together. The girls decided to go clubbing. As it turns out so did the boys. The girls were getting loaded and pretty out of hand. I kept getting hit on by losers and was fed up with getting grabbed and pinched. I decided to leave. I told my best friend that I was not into it and just wanted to go home."
Rosalie wrung her hands nervously and leaned further over the table towards me. I leaned closer to her.
"Go on." I encouraged once the waitress dropped our food orders and left for the kitchen.
Rosalie continued. "I was going to walk back to my condo. I lived in DC at the time. Not the best place to be walking alone late at night, mind you. So when I saw a group of guys in front of me I got nervous until I heard his laughter. Relief flooded through me. Calling to him I hurried to catch up. When I got there he was shooting daggers with his eyes."
Rosalie stopped and looked down at the table, the tears beginning to well up behind her lids. "They were extremely drunk." She continued without emotion. "Looking at me he growled, 'you whore, look boys it's my little whore, how many guys do you think she fucked in that club tonight? She seems to like pulling trains so why don't we make her night, you can all fuck my little whore Rose, she's been deflowered at least once tonight already.' With that he grabbed my arms and ripped my shirt open. His buddies grabbed my legs. They pulled me into an alley and after he was done sodomizing me he let his buddies rape me one after the other while he watched, holding me down, laughing at me forcing himself into my mouth."
"Oh God, Rose, I'm so sorry." The tears flowed down her cheeks as I silently choked back the sobs; I never expected to hear anything so horrible.
"One of his friends was particularly sadistic and raping me wasn't enough, he got off on causing pain. He was violent and rough. When they were done my fiancé pulled my ring from my finger and said 'no one fucking betrays me and lives'. It was the last thing I remembered. They left me with the trash in the alley bleeding to death."
Rosalie sipped her tea and looked down into her lap.
"A homeless man saw them leaving and found me. He saved my life using my phone to call 911. I didn't wake up for three weeks. I had six broken ribs, a shattered pelvis, broken teeth, broken arm, over 350 stitches and worst of all, no more uterus. The damage was so severe they did a hysterectomy and reconstructed my cervix. Bella, he broke my heart, my spirit, my body, and took away my future. It took me three years of therapy to move past what that bastard did to me." She stopped and shook her head, as though she could banish the thoughts and the memories. After a minute of sitting silently, staring blankly she continued.
"Bella, what all that therapy taught me was that it wasn't my fault, I didn't deserve that, that if I didn't move on and find real love I would let it kill me slowly, day by day, but regardless of how long I roamed this earth my heart and soul would be dead if I didn't open them up to someone again. After everything he took from me I wasn't going to let him have that too." Rosalie looked up at me, pushing her untouched plate away from her and smiled the slightest bit.
"I would not have Emmett now if I had not taken that chance. He's the best thing that ever happened to me. Bella, its time for you to take that chance, you have to put him behind you and open your heart. Your cowboy sounds like he might be a good place to start."
"Rosalie can I ask you a question?" I didn't want to pry but something didn't add up.
"Of course." She said straightening her top and folding her hands on the table in front of her.
"Why did he think you betrayed him?"
"The jealous bitch I thought was my best friend snapped a picture behind my back of some guy at the bar grabbing my ass and sent it to my fiancé's phone with a note that I left with some guy I was fucking in the bathroom of the club. They were married six months later and that's the story they sold everyone while I was lying on my deathbed unconscious for three weeks, that the stranger in the bar raped me." The look on Rose's face was pure hatred and venom.
"Where are they now?" I hoped they were no where near Rose.
She stared straight ahead over my shoulder and with no emotion and as calmly as if she were telling me her name she said "they disappeared six months after the wedding and are presumed dead."
HOLY SHIT. That look on her face was all the confirmation I would ever need that Rosalie knew more than she would ever let on about their whereabouts. She shifted her gaze right to my eyes, staring coldly for a brief moment before saying "so you see Bella, if I could get past that to find Emmett, nothing that jack ass six and a half years ago could possibly have done could be any worse. Don't let him take your heart and soul. Take it back."
"Rose, Thank you, I am so sorry.
"Bella, maybe we can be family now too? I don't see my family any more either."
"I always wanted a sister." I smiled at Rose knowing that today we had formed a bond that would not easily break.
Rose drove me home and I did something I hadn't done in years; I prayed. I prayed for Rose, I prayed for the strength to open my heart again and live. I prayed it wasn't too late with Jasper.
Of three things I was absolutely sure, I was taking back control of my life, I cared for Jasper, and finally and I didn't know how, but I was going to learn to love again.
What was your favorite 'outfit'? Review and do tell….