A/N
For reals, it's a new chapter. Cosmo threatened to cut me off with a text-bargo if I didn't finish. This is the final regular chapter of Yeah, You. An epilogue will follow.
The chapter song rules.
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Chapter 22
Here Comes Your Man
BPOV
"So did you blow heem like I say?" James asked as we unpacked our things.
"James!" I exclaimed, embarrassed. "We just got together. I can't - I mean, no. Just no."
Alice laughed and threw in her opinion, "She means not yet, James. It's only a matter of time."
Bitch. But she was probably right. Edward and I could barely keep our hands off of each other. Hands. His hands were a thing of beauty - long, thin fingers. He could be a hand model if he wanted. Like George on Seinfeld. Yeah, I really watch too much television. But, since I now had a boyfriend, that was probably going to stop. Yay. I did a happy dance in my head.
Boyfriend.
Edward Cullen. Score one for the Swan.
"And zen you stick your tongue in and swirl . . . ." James was giving another sex talk? Hmm. Now I had someone to try that out on. I glanced at Alice who had a strange look on her face.
"I don't think so." Alice blushed bright red.
"What's the big deal, Alice? You kiss Jasper all the time. It's just more swirly." I couldn't understand her attitude. Christ, they practically had mouth sex in the backseat of Edward's Volvo on the way back from Seattle. James drove Alice's car back so we could drive together. Once I had some Edward, I didn't want to let him go. Would you?
"Zee? Bella knows how to pleeze a man. Just tell heem not to clench," James said.
Clench? His teeth? I looked puzzledly at the two of them.
"Sorry, Miss Toss His Salad. I just don't go there," Alice huffed.
Oh.
I had obviously missed a very important part of the sex talk.
"Um, yeah, so . . . what outfit should I wear to school tomorrow? It's my first "official" day as Edward's girlfriend," I said, trying to change the subject. I think I was just going to stick to Internet porn for advice from now on. It wasn't as graphic.
Actually the outfit wasn't very important. I needed to wear an invisibility cloak so people wouldn't stare at Edward and me. Or, what if Edward didn't even talk to me? Sigh. I didn't even know how to act. Pathetic. I could ask Alice; she and Jasper were a natural fit. I definitely wasn't asking James. That example would probably involve an orifice of some kind.
"Bella, it's going to be fine. Edward is great." Alice spoke softly but assuredly. Of course my best friend sensed my nervousness. She patted my hand as she looked at me and grinned.
"Thanks, Alice. I'm just a little - ahhhhhhhh. . . " I ran my hands through my hair. "Excited?"
"Well, of course. I've seen heem. Jeesuz," James fanned himself. "I theenk I would eexplode from zee hotness."
"Um, yeah." The boy looked good in sweats, for shit's sake. For once I knew what James was talking about. Edward's hotness could make a girl, or boy, spontaneously combust. I've actually ruined clothing fantasizing about him.
I picked out my clothes for tomorrow, only fighting for a bit with Alice and James. I had to stick up for my rights - the right to not dress like teen hooker. "In the name of love, Bella," she said, solemnly, holding up a glorified band-aid. It was just like her to play on my love of U2 to get me to dress like a hootchie. I don't think teen seduction was the theme Bono had in mind when he wrote that line. Blasphemy.
"Seriously, Alice? I already got him to like me. Why do I have to dress slutty? He doesn't like that anyway."
"Wut a pair of lucky beetches. Zee hottest men want you," James added as he stared at Alice's gossip magazine. "Jeezus, did you see zee peecture of Rob's giant-"
"Not slutty, Bella. Hot. You do realize he's the hottest guy, after Jasper of course, in the Pacific Northwest? And every girl now knows that he and Tanya broke up. So he's fair game, according to the gossip. You need to show that you are the one he wants and the other skanks have no chance," she explained.
"Hey, earlier you said it was going to be fine," I whined.
"Of course it is. You just have to be prepared."
I thought about her words. Was I up to that challenge? I took another look at the scrap of fabric she wanted me to wear. I tossed it and picked out my own outfit. If Edward wanted girls who wore that crap, then he wasn't for me. Tanya could have him.
"This is what I'm wearing, and that's final. Now, gimme the magazine so I can see the wonder peen."
Alice left to call Jasper a while later - because I really didn't want to hear phone sex. James left to do. . . yeah, I didn't ask. I'm sure it would've been rated NC-17. I relaxed on the couch watching some lame reality show featuring some unnaturally tanned losers.
"Bells?" my dad called out.
"Yeah, Dad. I'm in here." He walked over to me and sat down on the couch. His face looked sad and he sighed.
"Isabella, I'm so sorry about your birthday, kiddo. Your mom and I are devastated that we forgot. I know your sister's wedding is no excuse, but we hope you'll forgive us. I hope your day wasn't completely miserable." I smiled inwardly at the thought of my night with Edward. It had been amazing.
"Daddy, I'm fine, really. I had lots of fun at the wedding. And after." I couldn't help blushing.
He noticed my face and asked, "Is there something I should know?"
"It's a boy, Daddy. I met a boy." I looked up at him, nervously awaiting some sort of comment. His face showed surprise, then . . . resignation.
"And you like him? He likes you?" he asked. "Is he good enough for you, baby?"
"He's," I paused to think of something that would explain how I felt, ". . . everything." I explained how Edward was Emmett's brother and we went to school together. He seemed to accept the fact that I was grown up with a boyfriend. He ended our talk with a reminder to "be safe" and I nearly choked when I realized he wasn't talking about looking both ways at the crosswalk. We hugged and he walked back to his room mumbling about his baby girls being all grown up and needing to clean his shotguns. I giggled and sighed as I thought about Edward.
My phone buzzed with a text. Edward.
"Hey. I can't stop thinking about you. Counting the minutes til I see you again."
One text and I'm basically useless. He's romantic and hot? It's really not fair to other teenaged boys.
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EPOV
"Can you put the phone down and pay attention to me?" Jasper whined.
"Oh, I'm sorry. You can't get enough of me, baby?" I winked and blew an exaggerated kiss at my best friend. "Don't be jealous of Bella, Jazz. You'll always be my first love."
"Shut the fuck up, Edward," Jasper growled. "Is it so wrong to want you to listen to me instead of you sighing and moaning as you text your girlfriend? It's disturbing."
"Like I don't have to listen to your whipped ass all the time," I retorted as I flicked him in the arm.
"Touché, ass. So, tomorrow is going to be interesting, huh?" Jasper commented and gave me a thigh punch.
"Fucker, that hurt," I winced. "What do you mean?" I asked as I settled down on my bed.
"Ok, you realize that you just broke up with Tanya and you're going to school tomorrow with a new girlfriend. And said girlfriend is the most talked about thing in Forks in years."
I thought about what Jasper said. I kinda looked slutty. In a manly way of course. But guys have the benefit of a double standard, so therefore, I'm not a boy-slut. I'm just popular. As long as Bella is with me, I won't care what others say anyway. But what would Tanya do? I hadn't thought about her at all. I was sorta making out with Bella all night. I mean really, why the fuck would I think of that skank when Bella was in my arms? Tanya only came up this morning when I came clean about about her being my fake girfriend. Bella was very understanding about the whole situation. Relieved, I would dare say.
"Tanya and the rest of the Trollope Triplets can bite me. Besides, she was the one doing a sophomore in the bathroom at my house."
Jasper shuddered. "Gross. I can't even piss in there now."
"You just want to piss in my bathroom. You're hoping I'll walk in on you or something, you freak."
Jasper attempted to junk punch me. I rolled off the bed onto my ass.
"Fucker. You almost got my balls," I whined as I rubbed my thigh.
"You'd like that too much." I flipped him off and he returned the favor.
"Listen dude, just watch out for those girls. They're ruthless. They've already tried to make her cry. Alice told me." I think I growled when he said that.
"Well then, I'll just have to be by her side twenty-four seven so those skanks can't say shit." And I leaned back on my bed and tucked my arms behind my head.
"Do you want me to pick out an outfit for you for tomorrow?" I looked at him to see if he was serious or fucking with me. "You know you can't just neglect your appearance now that you have a serious girlfriend. You need to make an effort."
"Can you come by in the morning to blow my hair?"
"You know what you can blow, Cullen." He made a BJ motion with his hand and mouth. Gross. I mean, from him. I wonder if Bella would be up for that? Hmm. How do I bring that up?
Jasper's phone started ringing - "Sweet Child O' Mine"- Alice. His face broke into a wide grin. "I'm out of here, Fuckward. Don't jerk off too hard after I leave."
"Suck it, Jazzy. I'm not going to jerk off."
Ok, I totally lied. Yeah, I stroked it. Twice.
That was the twentieth and twenty-first time I dreamt of Bella Swan.
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Monday
I awoke early the next day. I was feeling good thanks to my wank session and the promise of seeing my girl again. I had to get there early so I would be waiting for her. I walked downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. My mother and father were already eating.
"Good morning, sweetie. You're up so early," my mom said.
"He has a certain brown-eyed girl waiting for him," my dad teased. I threw a bagel at him. "C' mon, Edward. I saw the way you were looking at Rosalie's sister. And both of you conveniently left the reception. . ."
"Dad," I whined.
"Carlisle, don't tease him. I think Bella is lovely. Much better than that harlot, Tanya," my mother shuddered. I snorted and and grabbed another bagel. She reached over and tousled my hair. "Such a handsome boy. My baby is all grown up," she sniffled.
I was slightly embarrassed, and ready to tease her, but then I remembered that my brother just got married. I pulled my mom into a hug because it seemed like she needed one. She choked out a sob and then whispered, "I hope she deserves you, Edward."
"I know she does, mom. And I love you."
My dad sang "Brown-eyed Girl' as I left for school. Van Morrison wept from afar. Or from the grave. Whatever. My dad was a shitty singer.
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BPOV
He was leaning against his Volvo when we pulled into the parking lot. Jasper was by his side. Edward's legs were crossed at the ankles and his long fingers dipped into the pockets of his jeans. He wore a light grey henley that showcased the abs that I knew were hiding beneath the thin layer of cotton. He was. . . perfection. Jasper was just as lethal, but Alice could drool over him. I only had saliva for one guy. And I wanted to save it to swap with him later. They both grinned when they saw it was us and my heart skipped.
"Damn. It's like an ad for Abercrombie and Fitch, only hotter," Alice gasped. She wasn't kidding. Edward's lips were so red and juicy, I thought he had on lip gloss. "Quick, take a picture with your phone!" she demanded. Yeah, that was going to be my new screen saver.
Alice parked next to the boys and we got out to greet them. Edward stared at me as he walked toward me like a. . .really cool jungle animal. I don't know which one - I was frozen, my brain apparently shut down, too. My girlie parts were on high alert, however.
"Hey."
"He-ey." It came out like a sigh. His eyes honed in on my lips as he greeted me with a kiss. He wrapped an arm around me as we walked towards the school.
"Edward?"
"Yeah?" he breathed in my ear. He nibbled on my lobe. Lucky his arm was wrapped tightly around me or I would've melted to the ground.
"Everyone's looking at us."
"No, they're not." He glanced around. Several people had stopped and were blatantly staring. One junior actually bumped into a car because she wasn't looking where she was going.
"Okay, yeah. She was staring."
"Doesn't it bother you?"
"No, not really. You get used to it."
Of course he would be used to it. I mean, look at him.
The morning passed by surprisingly uneventfully. Edward walked me to all my classes, drawing looks from everyone - especially when he kissed me goodbye. In the classes we had together, we now sat next to each other. By lunchtime I was smirking at the girls who gaped at us. Yeah, they could bite me.
I would bite Edward. He was yummy.
During lunch, the four of us sat with Angela and Ben in the cafeteria. We were talking about the wedding when I noticed Tanya glaring at me. I rolled my eyes and looked away. I leaned into Edward and he wrapped his arm around me. I glanced back and smiled at Tanya. I think she crushed a soda can with her bare hands. Freak. I resumed my interest in the conversation at the table, which was about the bachelorette party. Alice was telling everyone about how I got trashed. Thanks, bestie. Edward and Jasper started cracking up and looking at each other.
"What?" I demanded. "Like you two didn't get tore up that night. At least I wasn't as bad as Rosalie," I huffed. Jasper snorted and Edward elbowed him in the ribs.
". . . and Bella was so drunk, I don't know how she got back to our room. Jasper and I, um, stayed in his suite until Edward got back and I felt better. Bella, how did you even walk? Jasper had to carry me," Alice explained.
My mind went back to that night and it became clear. Son of a . . . I hadn't been dreaming. It was Edward in the flesh. I whirled around to face him. "You," I pointed, "It wasn't a dream. I -I attacked you and you were so nice and hot and oh my god, how embarrassing," I wailed. "I thought I was dreaming of a threesome with you and Justin Timberlake, but it was really you. Oh, no. I remember humping your leg." I buried my face into his shirt to hide my embarrassment.
"I don't mind helping you," he whispered in my ear. "I kinda like it."
Then, two things happened at once. Alice started screaming "Oh my god, Jasper, Edward was wearing your boy band shirt" and I looked up to see Tanya coming toward us with a full tray of food. I knew instantly she was going to dump it on me. Somehow with my less than stellar reflexes, I pushed the tray right as she was tipping it over me. The contents poured down the front of her shirt.
"Aaaaaahhrrgghhhh! You bitch!" She sputtered and screamed obscenities at me. Like I gave a crap. I remembered the time she tormented me at the lockers with her stupid lies and I said nothing. Not this time.
"Really, Edward? This is the best you could do for a fake girlfriend?" I commented as calmly as possible. "You would've been better off pretending to be gay. That would have been more realistic. Did anyone actually think you liked her?" Edward burst out laughing and the whole table joined in. I waved as Tanya stormed away. Her entourage slithered out behind her.
"You're sorta badass, Bella Swan. I'm glad you're mine," Edward said just before he kissed me.
I vaguely heard Alice in the background saying something about "Jasper" and "JT" and "so hot" but I didn't care. My brain (my mouth, actually) was very much occupied.
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PE wasn't as bad as it normally was. I now gawked at Edward with a purpose and without fear of getting caught. He actually winked when he caught me. One time he licked his lips.
Da-amn.
After class, I washed off all of the sweat from well, looking at Edward. I didn't actually participate in a sport. I turned off the water and reached for my towel. Fuck. It must've fallen off the hook. But when I opened the door to the dressing area, everything was gone. Including my clothes. Motherfuck.
Tears welled and panic set in. Why would someone do this to me? Oh, right. They were jealous of me and Edward. Wait, not they. She. Bitch. I should have known she'd try to get even with me after the tray incident. I thought about all the times I had been embarrassed at my old school. I never stood up for myself. I was a timid girl with no friends. Well, not anymore.
I got pissed and thought of a plan. Everyone was gone, which she had probably orchestrated so no one would help me. I walked into the locker room naked as the day I was born. I looked around for something that I could use to pop someone's lock. I had never been so glad to find an old, gross comb.
I silently thanked my daddy for showing how to pick a lock when I was twelve. I opened a few lockers, finally finding a towel. It was small, but it would cover all the important parts.
Now that was the easy part of this plan.
I had to go out into the gym. What the hell, the whole school had stared all day anyway. Now at least there was something to see. Just hopefully not too much. I held my head high and strutted into that gym. That whore and her friends weren't going to see me cry.
Noise in the form of gasps and shouts and a few whistles (thank you very much) erupted, but then it was eerily quiet as I marched straight towards Tanya who was holding a bag, which likely contained my clothes. She was talking to her stupid slutty friends.
I snatched them out of her unsuspecting hands. Her lovely friends didn't even warn her. They probably wanted to see some fireworks. Well, I was about to shove a rocket up her ass.
"Thank you, Tanya for holding my clothes. If you wanted to see me naked you could've peeked at me through the shower door like a normal pervert would."
She gaped at me with her mouth hanging open. She quickly recovered, though. "I just found these lying around. I thought they were rags so I was going to put them in the trash," she simpered.
Oh, hell no.
"I guess you weren't able to comprehend what appropriate clothing looks like since you dress like a hooker," I spat.
"You're the boyfriend stealer, not me!" she shrieked.
"What boyfriend? The one you were making out with under the bleachers two weeks ago while Edward was twenty feet away? Not even. He was what, like twenty-five? Gross. And weren't you doing Mike in Edward's bathroom last week?" A bunch of guys whistled. I think they high-fived Mike. "Or are you referring to this week's conquest?"
She looked like she could kill me, but did nothing.
"Just leave it alone, Tanya. You," I jabbed my finger towards her, "can't push me around." Oh shit, I was jabbing a little too forcefully and I felt my towel start to slip. Just then I felt arms grip me around my shoulders.
"What the hell are you wearing?"
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EPOV
I walked out of the boys' locker room thinking about how lucky I was to have Bella in my life. Yes, I realize these are deep thoughts considering I'm an eighteen year-old man. What can I say, I'm special. My mother would agree.
I walked into the gym to wait for Bella. I scanned the area for her. Oh, there she is. . .in a towel? What the fuck? I ran to her side and grabbed her just before the whole school saw what was mine. No fucking way all these assholes were going see that. Only me. I asked her what she was wearing and I threw her over my shoulder and headed for the locker room so she could get dressed. I put my hand over her ass. The towel was kinda small.
"Bella, please tell me you have a good reason for walking around almost naked? Other than you wanted to give all my teammates wood." I set her down on the bench. "Don't get me wrong, you look incredibly hot, but I was hoping that when you were naked, I would be too and we'd be alone."
"Really? That's flattering," she sighed. I chuckled. Sometimes she says some crazy stuff.
"So," I prompted.
Her eyes blazed as she explained what happened. "So-o, your fucking fake ex-bitch stole my clothes and I found a towel and I'm sick of her pushing me around so I went out there to tell her off and my towel got loose and then you were there," she rambled.
I exhaled as I ran my hands through my hair. "I'm sorry you had to deal with my mistakes, Bella. Are you ok?"
"I'm alright, but my shirt didn't make it," she said as she held up the scraps of her ruined blouse. "My PE clothes are torn, too. Only my jeans are intact. And I guess they didn't want to touch my underwear. Or maybe they didn't know what they were since they never wear any."
Bella got dressed while I seethed. I'd never hit a woman before, but I could totally kick Tanya's ass right now. She walked out from behind the locker, arms crossing her chest, her ruined shirt gaping open. I gulped at the sight of her lacy bra but I kept my self in check. I just couldn't attack her after all that drama. So I responsibly pulled my shirt over my head and handed it to her. Luckily I had worn a thin wife beater underneath my shirt today.
"I'm so sorry, baby. For everything," I breathed. She gazed at me as she put on my shirt. It wasn't anger in her eyes, it was . . .lust? Bella launched herself at me and I caught her in my arms as we crashed against the lockers. Her mouth covered mine and her tongue snaked out - tasting and probing. Jesus. Her hands latched onto the hair at the nape of my neck, pulling me closer. I was practically swallowing her and it was fucking awesome. Then I heard something. Fuck.
Voices in the distance caused us to break apart briefly, but Bella yanked my arm towards the back row of the lockers. I could hear that someone was looking for us, but they assumed we had already left when they saw the empty room. I looked at her, my eyes questioning her.
"Don't go, Edward," she breathed.
"Never," I whispered into her mouth. Her hands roamed under my shirt, my muscles tightening as she touched me. Damn, I wanted to do the same thing. As my lips wandered up her neck, I slowly inched my way under her shirt - my shirt - and second base was a wonderful thing. Second base made we want to try out for Varsity so maybe I could work my way home. Not today, but someday. Bella moaned as I touched her. I loved the way her body wrapped around me, every inch pressed against me. I wondered if she knew how hard I was for her. Her lips found my neck, then her hand grazed my crotch.
"Ohhh." It came out like a moan. I wanted to hear that sound again.
So, yeah, she knew now. And she liked it, judging by the way she was now fondling me through my jeans. My hips rocked against her hand. It was amazing, but I wanted more. My hand slipped behind her, over her incredible ass and gripped her thigh. I hitched it up over my hip and rocked against her once, to see if she wanted this, wanted me. She rolled her hips back into me, kissing me harder and faster, so I picked up my rhythm. I started out awkwardly, but I knew I was hitting the right spot by the way she was panting into my neck. She hopped up onto me trying to get closer - wrapping both legs around me - which gave me a better angle. We weren't even kissing at this point, just breathing hard and clutching each other. "Please don't stop, Edward," she begged. She held me still, like she didn't want me to lose that perfect spot.
"God, Bella. You feel so good," I moaned. And then she gripped my neck so hard it fucking hurt, but the sounds she made erased all of the pain because I knew she was . . . "Oh, yes, Bella. Fuck, you're coming. I can feel it."
"Mmmmm. Ed. Ward. Ohhh," she shuddered. I mentally high-fived myself and gave myself a fist-bump while I kept grinding against her. My thrusting was fast and erratic as I was almost there.
"Oh, baby, yesss," I groaned. Then I was pulsing hot streams into my jeans. It was messy, but perfect. I couldn't believe how much better that was than my own hand.
"Baby, are you ok?" I asked her as I kissed the tip of her nose. She laughed softly.
"That was amazing."
"I know, I can't wait to do it again." I nuzzled her neck with my nose.
"I need some time, Edward," she protested. My heart sank.
"Are you breaking up with me?" I blurted. "Did I ruin everything?"
She started giggling uncontrollably and blushed fiery red. "God, no, Edward. My cootchie just needs to get over the crotch burn. We're going to do that as much as possible. And maybe without the clothes."
And that's when I fell in love with Bella Swan.
She would own every part of me for the rest of my life. In later years when we spoke about that day in the locker room, she would tell me that she knew it, too.
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End notes:
Sorry about the long wait. I adore all of the people who read this story, and I thank you for your patience.
Every review and favorite I've received has been sincerely appreciated even though I haven't responded. I wish I could call all of you to thank you personally.
I must thank my beta and lovah, Cosmogirl7481 for motivating me and putting up with my whining. You are the best fic-wife and bestie. ILY, sofa king much.
Follow me on Twitter, marvar29 if you enjoy Rob p0rn and nonsense