Chapter 2

"Cloud's Feelings"

After hearing what his girlfriend had to say; Cloud had a surge of emotions that consisted of a mixture of confusion, guilt, and fear.

Him? Cloud Strife a dad? a daddy? When he was only seventeen and a Junior in high school! How could he be a dad at seventeen with another year of school left to go? And Tifa, she was only sixteen. a year younger than him and a sophomore. How could she handle having a baby and two more years of high school? How could either of them handle a child when they were just kids themselves! Neither of them even worked. Cloud did earn a little money now and then racing, but that money usually went back into fixing his Fenrir. How would they take care of this baby? Cloud had not the slightest clue on how to raise a child. He never even babysat one.

It was all just too much for him. so much that he could not even bring himself to talk to Tifa or anyone else for that matter. Cloud knew it was wrong, yet he still took the easy way out. He decided to avoid Tifa throughout the day. it was a good thing tomorrow was the Saturday. He would have at least two days for himself to think things over.

Cloud just felt so depressed, nothing could possibly lift his spirits not even the news that his best pal had for him.

"Hey buddy guess what? There's a race out in the plains on Saturday, you going to go? I'm signing up. I need some practice for Gold saucer this year." Zack had told him in computer class. This was news that normally would have elated Cloud.

"oh, that's cool." Cloud responded, sounding very un-enthused even though Cloud loved to go to the races and compete. Cloud also had to cancel hanging out with Zack and a few of their friends tonight, even though it was something they did weekly. He just did not feel like racing, going out, or talking to anyone else.

"Cloud are you alright?" Zack had even stopped Cloud at some point and asked him. Cloud had only shrugged. Leaving Zack bewildered, and a little apprehensive.

Before the school day had ended, Cloud had managed to narrowly avoid Tifa in sixth period. He escaped the classroom before she had a chance to catch up to him, got on his bike in the parking lot and sped all the way home. Confining himself in his room, hoping to hide away from the rest of the world to allow him time to think.

Cloud got that peace he wanted several minutes after laying down on his single twin bed. he drifted off to sleep. Hoping in vain that when he woke this would all have taken care of itself.

The next day, Cloud was still sullen and unwilling to leave his room. His mother had come in to check on him several times before going off to work sensing that there was something wrong with him, Cloud had assured his mother that he was okay.

But he knew that he was not, most of the day Cloud would just lay in his room (bed or floor) sometimes tossing a stress ball back and forth in his hands. Futile attempts to pull himself together and he knew it. it was an un-eventful day and a long one. He wished that it would just end somehow, he ended up drifting back into dreamland at some point. It was the one place where he could be safe and at peace.

Several hours later, Cloud woke up to the sound of buzzing, still groggy from his slumber Cloud managed to move himself into sitting position causing the mattress under him to fold a little because of his weight, the buzzing was coming from his night stand, he knew it was his cell phone and took it out to look at who was calling.

Tifa

Cloud dropped the phone in that instant as if it was on fire. luckily for him he was sitting on his bed, so his phone landed safely on a pillow. Cloud stood up from his bed; his hands were shaking nervously. He felt his throat tighten in fear. A part of him wanted to pick up the phone. Honest to god he did.

Buzz!Buzz!Buzz!

The phone kept ringing and Cloud began to bite his lip, his eyes did not leave the phone. they were glued to the small object like a dear caught in the headlights.

Should he pick up? What would he say? I'm Sorry I got you pregnant Tifa, but I don't know what to do? no! no he couldn't say that! What use would it be? Cloud than grabbed a pillow and placed it on top of the phone. Hoping the size and weight of the object would be able to drown out the sound and to his surprise it did, but only slightly.

Cloud let a couple of minutes pass before he removed the pillow and it had stopped ringing. The quiet did not last.

Buzz! BUZZZ!

It began to ring again, and Cloud threw the pillow back onto the phone and huddled onto the floor. In frustration, he placed his hands at his ears in a vain attempt to block out the noise from his cell phone. he felt his face burn with frustration-and his head throb from confusion.

He felt a pressure well up in his eyes. he quickly shut them and bit down on his tongue to fight of the tears that wanted to roll out of his eyes. He did not know what to do. all he knew was that he did not want to talk to Tifa and hurt her even more than he already had.

It was clear now that staying in this room was not going to help him clear his mind. Cloud knew that he had to get out and do something to help him relax. Cloud then looked to his right-where a pair of goggles lay on the floor.

His racing goggles, he used them for when he rode his motor bike. The races! That was it! Although he had originally planned to skip out on them. He thanked god that Zack had told him about the rally! and without a second thought Cloud snatched up his glasses, as well as bike keys and ran out of his room leaving the phone ringing.

Buzz...Buzz..Buzz...

Hey this is Cloud; I'm not answering obviously so leave a message alright? Unless your Tifa than leave kisses, I love you Tifa.

Tifa teared up at the sound of his message and flipped her cell phone shut. she had been the one to talk him into recording that voicemail. At the time she was joking but to her surprise he had recorded it and left it as his official recording. Not that it mattered now. Or maybe it did? He had not recorded over it. Surely that meant Cloud still loved her.

Hopefully he did…

But Tifa did not want to hear a recording-she wanted to hear from him. She wanted Cloud to talk to her, she wanted him to acknowledge her and talk with her about this situation they were in. Dammit! she wanted to know about his thoughts on the baby. Their baby.

"Just say anything...anything at all." Tifa sniffed as she brought her knees to her chest and hid her face in them. allowing her the shelter to cry freely.

After several minutes, Tifa stood up and dried her tears. she walked out of her room. She knew that she was home alone otherwise she would not have left it. Especially when she was crying, and her eyes so red and puffy. She was wearing an old t-shirt that Cloud had given her and a pair of gym shorts that he had also given her. They were clothes from their one night together.

Tifa felt oddly comforted by the old clothes. It made her feel like cloud was still nearby. Even if he was upset and avoiding her.

She walked along the hallway, and into her father's office. Tifa wanted to use his computer. other people in the home used it, mostly by Tifa and her stepsister.

Tifa did not know why she was going to perform the search on the home computer. maybe she was just desperate to find a solution to her problems. Maybe a part of her wanted to be caught, Tifa's dad was not one to pull up search histories. But maybe papa would see her searches, maybe he would make this all end.

After turning on the computer she began her search on the web. Bringing up the search bar Tifa typed in four different words.

Motherhood, babies, Teen Pregnancy.

Her search brought up many sites, official and non-official ones, one even had pictures of babies in utero showing the stages of pregnancy and child development. Tifa saved many of these web sites onto her private name to look at again later just in case.

Tifa searched for what felt like hours, she noticed on the task bar that it was only nine o clock. By this time, she swore that this search was fruitless. all she had were endless repeats of the same material, why couldn't anyone just type something that could help her? Frustrated; Tifa typed in one final word. she took a deep breath as she finished typing it. Tifa felt her eyes mist up again.

Abortion

….

Cloud made it to the race minutes before it began. Zack had spotted him, and his dark-haired friend grinned victoriously.

"I knew you were going to make it! I took the liberty of signing you up buddy." Zack and Cloud did fist bumped. Cloud was glad to see Zack.

"You signed me up? How'd you know I'd show?" Cloud asked Zack calmly. his tone was more stoic than usual. Zack thought nothing of Cloud's change in speech patterns.

"I knew that it'd be impossible for you to resist a good race." Zack replied happily, Cloud shook his head and looked at the ground, his blue eyes wondering.

"That's not the reason why I'm here" Cloud said dryly, Zack looked at Cloud with a raised eyebrow.

"Then why are you here?" Zack asked curiously.

"I…I just need to clear my head." Cloud murmured as he and Zack moved their bikes to the starting line.

"Having a bad day?" Zack said sympathetically.

"You could say that." Cloud responded sullenly.

"Well, nothing like a good race to cheer you up!" Zack said enthusiastically "It's the best medicine in my opinion."

"No arguments here." Cloud agreed. Even managing to form a tiny smile.

"See smiling already! You'll feel a hell of a lot better after we win this race" Zack smiled broadly while giving Cloud a thumbs up. "So where is Tifa tonight? She usually comes with you, is her dad home?" Zack suddenly asked Cloud, causing him to nearly fall off his bike, so much for not thinking about Tifa.

"I didn't invite her." Cloud said flatly, his tone taking Zack by surprise.

"What? How come?" Zack was taken aback "Everything alright between you? Is this why you're so down?"

"No... I don't know...look I don't want to talk about Tifa can we just keep our minds on the race?!" Cloud snapped.

Zack put his arms up to show that he was backing off. Cloud had tried to keep his cool and ended up sounding heartless. It wasn't like he didn't care about Tifa anymore, it just hurt too much to think or talk about her right now.

"Alright, Alright I'll mind my own business then, but I can't guarantee Aerith will do the same" Zack replied as he put his goggles securely over his eyes. Cloud blinked in surprise.

"Aerith's back in town?" Cloud asked Zack. Aerith was Zack's girlfriend of two years-almost three years. Aerith had left town to move in with a sick family member in Junon at the beginning of the summer.

"Yeah, she's back for good this time though" Zack started "And she wants to see all her old friends, and you know who is one of the people she's dying to see, just so you know." Zack finished and Cloud nodded.

Aerith was good friends with Tifa, besties in fact. Cloud was sure Aerith was going to ask him about Tifa. Cloud just sighed trying not to think about it and just put his goggles on trying to keep his mind on the race and not on Tifa or her baby. No, Their baby.

Baby. the word repeated over and over in his mind and like a thrown stone it hit him hard. Zack looked at him noticing something off.

"Hey Zack, what does the winner get?" Cloud changed the subject throwing Zack off topic.

"2000 gil first place, 1500 for second." Zack replied.

"Then we better win first and second" Cloud said determined. The two waited until the race started, finally it began. the two sped off into the fields the minute the white flag dropped, Cloud had gotten the lead over Zack within seconds, they had the same model bike. But Cloud knew how to maneuver the Fenrir better than anyone else in his circle of friends. So, it was no surprise when all those racing came back with Cloud still leading the way. Zack was close behind; second place wasn't bad. Not bad at all. Besides, racing was Cloud's specialty, it was the one thing Cloud was better at than Zack.

Fortunately, Zack was a good sport about it, even proud of Cloud for his racing skills.

After the race was over, all the racers and the spectators stayed awhile to party and have a good time. to brag about the bike models and such, Cloud received his prize as did Zack, and the two stood by their bikes about to chat, maybe even debate about whom was really in the lead. This stopped when a pretty girl jogged over to them.

"Zack! You did great!" The medium height girl with brown hair jumped happily and hugged Zack tightly. Cloud knew who this girl was, he would know her anywhere. Aerith Gainsborough, age eighteen and a senior in high school like Zack. Aerith, always happy and cheerful. She was the love of Zack's life.

"Thanks, Aerith, but it still isn't first place" Zack pulled back from his girlfriend's hug and smiled at her, Aerith shook her head disapprovingly.

"Don't say that you'll get first place next time! you manage that every once in a blue moon." Aerith kissed Zack on the cheek and he laughed. She then looked in Cloud's direction. "CLOUD!" Aerith let out a tremendously happy shriek and ran over and hugged the spiky haired blond. Cloud froze, as he often did when Aerith, or any girl caught him off guard. He blushed furiously; he wasn't good with public affection. Not even if they were just good friends.

"Hey! Hey! You're my girlfriend why are you hugging him for!" Zack whined in jest and Aerith laughed she walked back over to Zack and wrapped her arms around his waist, she was shorter so Aerith's arms were perfectly encircled around his well-built abdomen.

"Sorry, I was just saying hello to an old friend" Aerith gave Zack a cheeky smile "Cloud how have you been? And where's Tifa?" Aerith asked, she still hugged her boyfriend and had rested her cheek on Zack's chest. she had turned her attention on Cloud, her angelic face was glowing. She must have been happy to be home, who was he to go and ruin his friend's night out?

Despite not wanting to spoil the evening for his friends, Cloud frowned. Not only had Aerith brought up Tifa, the affection that Aerith showed toward Zack, made Cloud long for his missing girlfriend. Zack sensed his discomfort and cleared his throat trying to catch Aerith's attention, he succeeded.

"Did I say something wrong? Oh" Aerith brought a hand to her mouth covering it she immediately knew something was not right and pulled away from Zack and stepped toward Cloud, "Cloud, are you and Tifa?" Aerith trailed off, Cloud knew that she was thinking that he and Tifa had broken up.

"No... Um, were still together...I think." Cloud replied uncomfortably, Aerith tilted her head and clasped her hands together.

"Then what is it? Is it her father?" Aerith asked him, she knew Tifa and Cloud were close and that fights were rare between them. Aerith also knew that whenever something happened between Cloud and Tifa, Tifa's father usually had something to do with it. It was a well-known fact in their inner circle.

"No" Cloud answered. He really didn't know what to say.

"You know Aerith, I don't think it's any of our business it's best to just leave things be." Zack intervened, wanting to help his very dismayed friend-but Aerith persisted.

"I know but-" Aerith took a deep breath and managed to make eye contact with her blond friend "Cloud whatever it is that is going on between you and Tifa I'm sure you guys can work it out, you two have been through far worse and whatever it is that's going on, I know you two can pull through it."

Cloud stared at Aerith's comforting green eyes appreciatively, but quickly looked away.

"I don't know about that..." Cloud said quietly "I've been avoiding her."

He wondered what Zack and Aerith would say if he told them the truth-that Tifa was carrying his child. Wow! It just sounded so weird just even thinking about it! Cloud finally looked up again and saw both Aerith and Zack staring back at him as if the two were attempting to read his mind.

"You've been avoiding her?" Aerith's eyes shown surprise "Why?"

"Yeah why?" Zack chimed in his voice now heavy with curiosity. The word "avoid" seemed to have changed Zack's view on cloud's dilemma, Cloud sighed.

"You guys….Tifa is…" Cloud stopped himself, he wanted to say it. He wanted to come clean, he wanted someone else to know, somehow stopping short of spilling the beans. "sorry I can't say, your right Zack it's none of your business"

Both Zack and Aerith gasped in surprise of Cloud's sudden rudeness. He felt bad about that brashness, he really did! Cloud knew that it came off extremely rude. Most of what he said was always like that, at times. Cloud didn't exactly have the best people skills. He often struggled because of it.

"Well whatever it is you two should talk it over, it's stupid to avoid the girl you love so much. I mean come on you practically got your ass handed to you trying to get her dad off your back, and now your avoiding her?" Zack finally added in his opinion and Aerith nodded approvingly.

"What he's trying to say Cloud is that you should not avoid her, giving a person the silent treatment can hurt terribly. It's painful, truly it's one of the worst feelings in the world." Aerith said wisely, she was right, and he knew it and that fact stung Cloud.

"Come on Aerith lets go. I promised your mom not to bring you home too late" Zack said abruptly to Aerith and helped her onto his bike all the while looking over at Cloud.

"Wait, just like that?" Cloud protested, he really wanted someone to talk too. He needed help.

"Well he did promise my mother." Aerith said simply.

"but-" Cloud protested.

"Cloud, we can't help you. Not this time my friend, you're going to have to talk to Tifa if you want to make things right." Zack said poignantly.

"its true, were just trying to save you from wasting the night away when you know what you have to do." Aerith agreed.

Cloud knew what they were doing. Zack and Aerith were trying to push him back in the right direction. Cloud knew them long enough to realize that they wanted him to go and confront his problems.

"Talk to her!" Both Zack and Aerith said to Cloud in unison. Zack sped off shortly after that, leaving Cloud to himself. And with nothing else left for him there; Cloud headed home with Zack and Aerith's words fresh in his mind. If not for the focus and speed on the road he would have likely gone crazy from thinking over their advice. He hated the fact that most of the time Zack and Aerith were the ones who were right and knew everything. Why did those two have to have such an effect on him?

When he got home, Cloud once again headed up to his room. the first thing he noticed was a picture of Tifa he had on his desk, he had pushed the picture face down to avoid looking at his girlfriend's face. Her bright, radiant smile in the photo was painful to look at right now.

Reluctantly Cloud walked over and picked it up, even though she was not in the room physically that picture sure as hell made it feel like she was. That's when he broke. everything that he had been bottling up shattering in that second. everything Cloud had been holding back traveled throughout his body; slowly making its way to his eyes. he felt that all familiar sting. He shivered and broke down.

"Tifa..." Cloud choked out, saying her name did it and the water began to flow from his eyes. He was crying, like a child who had just skinned his knee on the pavement. and he didn't care. Nothing else mattered right now. this was his penance for hurting and ruining Tifa, his girlfriend, his sweetheart. Tifa who was on the honor roll. The beautiful smart girl who had a great future ahead of her, and here he had gone and ruined it. In his heart he believed he had destroyed whatever dream she had yet to fulfill.

Cloud was just a racer, a speed junkie whose biggest goal was to go pro in the racing circuit. He had no other goal. Cloud was not the best student, he struggled often in academics. What if he never made it in the racing world? what if he ended up stuck with some dead-end job? A job that could never support a girl like a Tifa, or the baby she carried inside of her. He could never give her what she truly needed…but he did have love for her, but was love enough?

Love didn't put food on the table. Love didn't pay for college, or university. Love, that was all Cloud could truly offer.

Would it give Cloud the strength to protect his girl?

He cried himself to sleep with Tifa's picture in his hands.

Before he knew it-it was Monday. time for school but before going he had sat down to eat breakfast with his mom. His mother had noticed how down he looked which worried her.

Cloud did his best to evade her questions and left early not even bothering to finish his meal, he had such trouble getting to school with early morning traffic, his Fenrir model was built for speed and not sitting tight in lanes. But this was not the reason why he almost did not make it to school, it was because of how dry and irritated his eyes were-having cried most of the night.

His eyes longed for some good eye drops. But cloud didn't have time to go to a store, and he knew he could not just turn back home now.

At school, Cloud did his best to gather up the courage to go and talk to Tifa. He had lost his nerve upon nearing her first class and quickly ran off to his own. he reverted to what he had been working for him the past few days and went back to avoiding her. The anxiety he was feeling caused him to lose concentration in his classes. It had even gathered up concern from his friends especially Zack who had asked him several times between class periods if he had talked to Tifa yet, that did not help at all. Cloud had even wished that Zack could just stop talking to him for the rest of the day.

During lunch Cloud went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face to help him wake up. To help him focus. it did not help. When he had come out of the boy's bathroom, he had his head down and his eyes zoomed in on the ground keeping his vision on the tiled floor. Then he saw feet, legs, they were pretty slim legs, a skirt, slim arms crossed, a brunette.

"Tifa" Cloud said her name in a soft tone, she had tracked him down.

Tifa looked up at him. her eyes were red and puffy he knew she had been crying, if she had looked close enough at him she would have noticed how red his own blue eyes were for he had cried the entire evening before. The swelling in his eyes had yet to go down.

"We have to talk...now" Tifa's voice trembled a little as she spoke, Cloud just nodded and the two headed down the hall. neither bothered to even try and touch, instead the two walked with a gap in between them.

Cloud knew that this was inevitable. He knew that sooner or later Tifa would come up and confront him if he had continued to avoid her. He just hoped that he did not say anything to make this even worse.

A/N: wow I can't believe how fast I finished this chapter; I hope you guys will enjoy it. Well I better get to work on the next one!

DemonLoulou- I'm glad you liked my last chapter and I hoped you enjoyed this one!

Mitsura-woo I almost had a heart attack! I thought it was going to be a flame but I'm so happy to hear that you thought I did brilliant! thanks!

half-breed-demon-fox (cool name!)- I'm glad you liked it!

Bianka-Chan-Really is my punctuation iffy? hmm i better work on that huh?

Kiome-Yasha - Hey thanks for putting me on your favorites list I'll make sure to update this story as much as I can, now go and write some more chapters to that awesome story of yours!

Rend- I'm glad you liked it! I hope you keep reading!

Uchiha Aywin-thanks a lot! I did not think that I had Cloud and Tifa down right, but your comment really made my day, i hope to hear more from you!

cLoTiHeArT- Thanks please keep on reviewing!