Voting closes for the Love for the Unloved contest Oct 14 at 11:59 est
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http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2032057/LoveForTheUnloved
Jasper is off to visit Saffronangel this week.
Still rated M and I still don't own.
Only At Night
Chapter 17 Cold Hard Truths
I have no idea when or how I changed into shorts and a tee shirt but nonetheless, I awoke sweaty from yet another nightmare and was shaking so badly I feared I'd wake Jasper. I quietly crawled out of bed changed into yoga pants and a tank and grabbed a book heading for the kitchen. I thought I would bake some muffins for breakfast not knowing how many had stayed the night. It was a little after four and I tried not to make too much noise so that I wouldn't wake anyone. I found all the ingredients I needed to make blueberry muffins and a giant muffin tin that I doubt had been used in awhile. I had the coffee going and the batter mixing and figured I'd settle in to study until everyone got up once I had the muffins in the oven.
I was pouring the batter into the cups when I heard someone behind me. I jumped, spilling batter over the counter.
"Bella, do I make you nervous?" Peter chuckled.
"Asshole." I laughed cleaning up the spilled batter.
"Why are you up so early?" Peter asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee and stuck his finger in my batter.
"Um, couldn't sleep." I replied swatting his hand from the bowl.
"Any particular reason you could not sleep Bella?" Peter narrowed his eyes at me and I just knew he saw right through me.
"Yeah, nightmares." I wasn't going to try to hide it from him, he was too perceptive.
"Yeah, that is what I figured. You OK?"
"The whole thing just has me freaked out a bit I guess." I finished pouring the batter into the cups and placed the trays into the oven.
"Understandable. You're safe here Bella." Peter ran his finger across the bottom of the mixing bowl and stuck the batter coated mess in his mouth.
"Stop that, raw eggs."
He laughed.
"From the looks of the basket, there will be quite a crowd for breakfast, I don't think anyone left. You got us all a little riled up last night girl." Peter winked at me smirking.
"Sorry, but I thought you could handle it." I winked back.
"Hmmm. Yes well, I'm afraid you won them all over last night, they are all likely to stay all week and you and Jasper will get very little privacy I suspect."
"That's ok; we will have all the privacy we can handle once we get to California."
"Don't count on it; Char is already talking about visiting."
"Really, that's great, we'd love that." I couldn't help smiling. I felt so relieved that Jasper's family was accepting me so easily.
"OK, I have to get to work, I'll be back in a few hours, by then everyone should be waking up and you can help me make a big breakfast to go with those muffins, ok?" Peter refilled his coffee mug.
"Sure thing. I wondered why you were up so early. Are you always up this early?"
"Yep, put in a few hours and then come back to the house for breakfast and paperwork for awhile then back out to crack the whip."
"I see, well, see you in a bit."
Peter went out though the garage and I settled at the table with my coffee and my
Corporate Tax text reading until the timer went off for the oven. I removed the muffins to cool and read for another hour before covering the muffins and heading up stairs to shower and get ready for the day.
Throwing on a pair of jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt and my dried hair into a pony tail I swirled a light coat of Bare Minerals over my face and touched up my lashes with a stroke of mascara and swiped a little gloss over my lips. It was just after 6 am and I sat on the bed next to Jasper kissing his forehead.
"Mornin' darlin', what are you doing up so early?" Jasper kissed me back.
"Hey sleepy head, Peter and I are making breakfast, so get up and come meet us in the kitchen."
"Oh really? How did that happen?" Jasper was sitting up swinging his legs over the edge of the bed so that he was next to me.
"I couldn't sleep and went downstairs to read, Peter came down before he left for work and we planned to make breakfast when he got back." I leaned into Jasper to snuggle a little.
"Alright, well let me quick jump in the shower."
"Hmm, I'll miss you." I said kissing him again.
"Then join me." Jasper took my hand helping me up from the bed.
"Nope, just finished showering and dried my hair already. I'll just have to miss you for ten minutes." I kissed him again and pushed him towards the bathroom and headed to the kitchen.
By the time I had taken out twelve plates, forks and knives Peter was back and ready to start breakfast.
He carried in a big photo album and plopped it on the kitchen table.
"What's with that?" I asked him smirking.
"That my dear is to mess with Jasper." Peter winked.
"You are evil." I laughed but couldn't wait to look through it.
"Oh you have no idea." Peter began pulling eggs and bacon and milk and cheese out of the refrigerator.
"What do you want me to make?" I asked while he continued his whirlwind of activity.
"Start the meat; I am going to make southwestern omelets in your honor."
I watched as he started throwing peppers and onions into a food processor and I started the bacon and the sausages.
Peter was pretty good in the kitchen and I wondered if he did this everyday. As if he read my mind, which he seems to do a lot, he said, "We have someone who comes in and takes care of the house and usually cooks dinner unless we feel like cooking ourselves. We don't typically eat like this for breakfast unless it is a morning after a night like last night."
"Does everyone stay over here very often then?" I asked.
"Sometimes, absolutely if we are drinking; we don't drink and drive as a rule, ever."
Suddenly the cabs and hotel car service seemed to make more sense. I sensed there was something more to that but decided not to question it.
Breakfast was close to being ready and I started popping toast into the 8 slice toaster. I had never seen a toaster that big before. I jumped when I heard Peter booming into the intercom system, "Rise and shine boys and girls, breakfast in 5."
He was pouring the coffee into a carafe and starting another pot when Jasper was the first to walk in.
"Peter, it is 6:30 in the fuckin' morning, what the hell?" Jasper grabbed a coffee cup and began pouring.
"Oh, hell, Bella we should have made it lunch, I didn't realize it was so late." He winked at me.
"Asshole." Jasper threw a quick evil look at Peter and then noticed the photo album on the table.
Charlotte walked in looking like she had been up for hours all showered and dressed and ready for the day. She walked directly to Peter and stood on her toes to kiss him good morning before she turned back to us and said "good morning, guys." That was beyond cute.
Tyler and Liz walked in followed by Preston and Lauren and Jackson and Jess and Wade and Emily everyone looked like they were entirely accustomed to this insane hour and group breakfast.
"Peter what the hell is that?" Jasper went to grab the photo album but Tyler was closer.
"Aww, baby pictures." Tyler held the book out of Jasper's reach passing it off to Preston who passed it off to Peter.
"Bella and I had a great time making breakfast while you slept in." Peter taunted him flipping pages until he landed on one that he held up for a collective "Aww."
Peter handed me the album and I flipped back to the first page, Jasper as a newborn.
Jasper pulled out a chair for me and pushed it in behind me and I noticed all the guys did the same for their women.
Peter and Jasper served the food and they all dug in while I flipped pages in the photo album.
"Bella, you can look at that later, eat." Jasper said taking the book and putting it on the counter.
"Promise?" I winked at him.
"Yeah, fine." He sat down next to me and began loading his plate.
"Bella made homemade muffins this morning." Peter announced passing the tray.
"What the hell time did you get up Bella?" Jasper whispered into my ear. I shrugged.
The conversation around the table was boisterous and funny. It seemed several people actually had to go to work soon. I had forgotten that it was only Thursday.
My cell phone vibrated in my pocket, where I was now in the strict habit of keeping it and without thinking I pulled it out and looked at the new text message.
Not going to school today honey?
Don't worry I'll wait for you.
I gasped.
The room got very quiet as Jasper grabbed the phone from me and I went numb. I could feel the moisture on my cheeks and the silence in the room was deafening as everyone put their utensils down and looked to Jasper.
I swear it took several minutes before I heard Jasper's chair scrape across the floor and him utter a string of profanities. Charlotte reached across the table and took my hand in hers. I could hear him on his cell phone talking to Dimitri. Peter had my cell phone and was looking from the message to me in rapid succession. Tyler was out of his chair and on his phone, I heard him saying "reschedule my day, I won't be in I have a family emergency."
Oh Jesus.
I sat, probably in shock and watched someone clear the dishes from the table around me. I felt Jasper's hands on my shoulders rubbing. I saw a glass of water and a pill in a hand held out in front of me and I vaguely recall taking it without even asking what it was chasing it down with the water. I could hear people talking around me but paid no attention to what was being said. I heard the distinct sound of being under water, garbled and incoherent.
I heard Jasper say "Steve, it's Jasper, she just got a text message" and then I heard the words again and I pushed back from the table and took the phone from Jasper.
"Steve, what does he need to do before you can arrest him? Does he actually have to hurt me or is a threat enough? Just tell me what I need to do to make this shit stop."
Jasper was trying to take the phone back from me and I turned away from him. I saw Peter's hand curl over his shoulder holding him in place.
I heard Jasper on the phone again with Dimitri, "tell Steve Jake is parked down the block from your house."
"Did you hear that Steve, he is down the block from my damn house; we would have left for school by now, he's watching my house Steve, he knows I'm not going to school."
"OK, good, he thinks you are at home Bella, he doesn't know you left. That is good."
"Good, how's that good Steve?"
"Bella, put Jasper on the phone, I have an idea."
"Fine, here, he wants to talk to you." I handed Jasper the phone and walked out of the room. Peter followed me.
"Hey, come here." Peter pulled me into his arms and the floodgates opened. I stood in the hallway of his house bawling. Peter held me tight, "it'll be ok, he'll screw up and they will get him. I promise we will keep you safe." I felt Jasper's hands replace Peter's and took comfort in the familiar scent of orange blossom and spice and the crying subsided.
"Can we prove it this time, does it trace back to his cell phone number?" I was frantic for some good news.
"No, it came back to a disposable phone."
"Oh that figures, that bastard."
"Bella, can you talk or would your rather not know?" Jasper looked down at me lifting my chin to see into my eyes.
"What's the plan?" I pulled myself together and walked with him back to the kitchen where everyone was milling around. We sat down and everyone one else took their seats at Jasper's insistence.
"Mary Casey, the female protection specialist is about your size, she is going to pose as you and try to draw him out. If we can get him to make a stupid move they might be able to pick him up. It turns out the woman that refused to follow through on the domestic violence calls, is a little more willing to talk now. She is cooperating with the police. James' father is in contact with Dimitri and providing 'legal analysis' to any plan so that Jake can't worm his way out of it." Jasper traced circles over the hand he held as he spoke.
"Too bad he didn't follow you to Texas, our gun laws our much more liberal here regarding trespassers." Preston commented.
Every eye looked up at him.
"What, just saying." Preston looked out the back window.
"Who is this attorney? I want to talk to him." Tyler turned to Jasper insisting that Jasper fill him in.
"Fine, I'll call and let him know you will be calling him, you two can brainstorm. Do whatever it takes Tyler." Jasper sent Tyler the phone number.
"Okay, everybody get out of here, give Bella and Jasper some space, there isn't anything we can do right now. If they need you they will call you, Tyler, you can use my office to make your calls." Peter spoke and everyone stood, prepared to follow his orders.
After a round of goodbyes and well wishes everyone but Tyler headed out to work or home to carry on with their day. Jasper suggested getting some fresh air and offered to give me a tour of the ranch. I figured it would be a good distraction so I agreed.
We climbed into a pickup truck and Jasper drove off while we sat silently for awhile. Occasionally Jasper would point out something of interest. When Jasper mentioned the boarding house I remembered that was where his uncle had lived. I had nearly forgotten about him with all the other things running through my mind the past 24 hours.
"Jasper, can we go look at it, I would like to see where your uncle lived."
"Sure, I can't believe you remembered that." He smiled.
"Of course I remembered, it is important to you, which means it is important to me." I squeezed his knee for emphasis.
Jasper pulled up in front of the building that looked like a large old farm house. There was a large porch running the width of the house with several chairs scattered across. Jasper knocked on the door and then let himself in calling out that it was him. No one responded and he closed the door behind us.
There was a large living room area with couches and a large television with small tables and lamps around the room. Jasper explained that it was known as the common area. The kitchen was just beyond and it was fairly large but not as well appointed as the one in the main house. Off to the other side was a large laundry room with several washers and dryers and an over sized table. Jasper explained that is was the community laundry area but had once been the formal dining room. We walked upstairs and the long hallway had a dozen doors on either side facing each other. Jasper explained that there were only three separate bedrooms now and comprised of bunks in two of the rooms. The third was a smaller single bedroom for the foreman when he chose to stay on the grounds. Jasper showed me approximately where he believed his uncle would have slept. At the end of the hall there was a pair of bathrooms.
"How many people actually live here?" I was amazed at the set up.
"At any given time maybe 5 or 6; it is usually the single guys or short term workers."
"Jasper, how many people work on this ranch?"
"I don't actually know, I think about forty right now."
"Huh, that's a lot of people coming and going all the time."
"It seemed like a lot more when I was a kid." Jasper led me back out to the truck and we climbed in and headed to the horse stables.
"Can you ride Bella?"
"What, you mean a horse?"
"Yes, a horse." Jasper chuckled at me.
"Um, I don't know I never tried."
"Well, come on, I'll put you on Minnie, she is very gentle."
"Alright."
Jasper parked the truck again and led me into the stables. Jasper talked to a man asking him to saddle up Twilight and Minnie for him and then led me around showing me what was called a tack room and something called a paddock. I never knew there was so much to know about it.
Jasper helped me to mount Minnie, which I learned was what you called getting on the horse, which was not a simple as it looked if you ask me. Of course watching him mount Twilight made me feel like an idiot, he was so graceful and smooth. Minnie was brown and quite a bit smaller than Twilight. Twilight was huge and pitch black and apparently Jasper's horse. I held onto the reins Jasper had placed into my hands and was honestly a little scared. I heard Jasper make some clicking noise and Twilight started walking and Minnie followed.
"Um, how do I make her stop?"
"Why, do you need to stop already?" Jasper chuckled.
"No, just in case though." I sneered back at him.
"Pull back on the reins; you know the ropes in your hand."
Jasper waited for us to get up next to him and smiled over at me. He looked so relaxed, so sure of himself, I found it very sexy. I smiled back at him and asked where we were going.
"I'll just show you around a bit. Do you like Minnie?"
"She's beautiful, who usually rides her?"
"Um, whoever, she is mine, but I don't ever ride her, Twilight would be jealous. They haven't been out together in a while like this."
"Oh. Jasper, how many of these horses belong to you personally?"
"Just these two. Peter and Charlotte each have their own horse and then the rest are used by the folks that work the ranch."
"Jasper, who used to ride Minnie?" I was sure he didn't just happen to own this little horse. I was concerned that I was approaching dangerous territory but this was what we were supposed to be doing, getting to know each other.
"An old girlfriend."
"Will you tell me about her?"
"Well, she is about 7 years old, she likes apples."
"Not the horse Jasper." I laughed at him.
"Not the horse, OK. Her name is Alice. We went to high school together, started dating junior year. We both went out east for college and stayed together even though we were not at the same school. After college she stayed to do her graduate work and I came back her to work on my PhD. She came back here for awhile, but things just didn't work out."
"Does she still live around her?"
"No. She lives in New York and works in fashion. "
"You were together an awfully long time; I guess that means all your friends, were probably her friends too, right?"
"No, not really; Tyler and Preston have been my best friends next to Peter since kindergarten. Liz and Alice never really hung in the same crowd and Lauren and Liz have been best friends and Lauren never liked Alice much. Jackson and Wade were in Peter's class so never really hung out with her in high school.
"Honestly Bella, we started 'going steady' just before my parents died. If they had not died, I doubt we would have made it through the end of junior year. Once my parents were gone I was pretty messed up and couldn't handle losing anyone else. Alice wouldn't leave me because it would have looked bad if she did and when I wasn't acting like a jerk I spoiled her rotten so she wouldn't leave me. I always let her have her way, did pretty much whatever she wanted. She liked having a boyfriend, not necessarily that it was me and the fact that I let her lead me around worked for both of us. "
"So then what ended it?"
"We were more off then on ever since we left for college but we always talked and when we were home we put on a good show. Alice wanted no part of life in Texas. There was not a real career for her here; she needed to be in New York or Milan. She finally left me for good about a year and a half ago, but we were over long before that. Peter is really the only one that knows how screwed up the relationship really was. Everyone else thought it would be the end of the world for me. Honestly it was just a huge relief to be able to stop pretending."
"Why did you buy her a horse if things were so bad?"
"Unlike you, Alice liked the money more than she liked me. I was young and foolish and probably just not equipped to deal with a real relationship so I gave her whatever she wanted. Minnie wasn't really something she wanted, but more tolerated doing because I loved riding. That was the one thing she didn't begrudge me."
"My relationship with Alice is not exactly a big source of pride for me Bella. The truth is it was a complete failure, dysfunctional and an excuse not to have to deal with a real relationship. It took me a long time to get over my parents deaths, Alice gave me an excuse not to."
"Did you ever date other people while you were in college?"
"Yes, we both did. Although long term and commitment were not really in my vocabulary so I always fell back on the excuse that I had a girlfriend."
We were quiet for awhile after that while Jasper showed me around the property, the livestock pens, the pastures and more 'outbuildings' than I ever dreamt possible. I felt pretty comfortable riding after a while and Jasper let us trot so I could experience that. It was a bit scary at first but once I relaxed into it I loved it. Once he promised to teach me to ride properly I vowed to try it again while I was here. We headed back to the stable and just before we got there I wanted to let him know how much it meant to me that he had told me what had to be a painful truth for him.
"Jasper, thank you for trusting me with all of that, I realize it must have been hard."
"You are welcome, I don't want to keep anything from you Bella, and I am not that boy anymore."
Jasper helped me down from Minnie and led both horses into the stables and turned them over to the man we met earlier. The drive back to the house was quiet but comfortable. I knew it was my turn to tell him about my past.
We joined Peter and Charlotte and Tyler for lunch and then I studied for a couple hours while Jasper took care of some things he needed to do before he came back to our room and laid down watching me study.
My focus left the books and turned toward how to tell him about my past relationships. I knew I had to open up to him and honestly, for the first time, I actually wanted to tell someone, I wanted to tell Jasper. I reminisced a little and began to realize that the hold HE had over me all these years had slipped, my actions were no longer dictated by the memories. Jasper had picked up the pieces of my heart from that forest floor and began reassembling them whether he knew it or not. Once that was out, the rest would be easy, I used other men as a coping mechanism much the same way Jasper had done with Alice. Suddenly I realized we were both floundering most of our lives until fate had us ready to meet. My entire life came into focus, it was sharper, and it now had meaning where it had had none for so long. I knew right then Jasper was my future, he would always be my life now, the past was precisely that, the PAST; it was finally over.
"Earth to Bella?" Jasper chuckled from the bed where he lay still watching me.
"Oh, sorry." I laughed at the interruption.
"What do you want to do this evening, we could hang out with the others, go to town, or I could take you for a ride on my big green tractor." Jasper laughed that sexy gravelly southern drawl laugh that I loved so much.
"Big green tractor, huh?" I winked at him suggestively.
"It is not a euphemism Bella." He shook he head at me still laughing.
"I vote for the tractor ride Jasper, I just want to spend some time alone together for a while, then maybe we could meet up with the others later." I stood from the table and stretched.
"Hmm, much later I think." Jasper moaned as he got up from the bed.
"Ok cowboy, let me go change and then we can go." I grabbed a pair of shorts from the closet and heard Jasper say "you need your boots" so I grabbed those too changing quickly and coming back out to the bedroom pulling my hair into a high ponytail.
"Ready."
I laughed as I heard Jasper growling deep in his chest as he looked from my boots up my bare legs to the tank top I was still wearing form studying and over the exposed flesh of my neck to the ponytail.
"Come on cowboy; take me for a ride on your big green tractor."
My man literally took me for a ride on a big green tractor, it was the sexiest damn thing he ever did. Watching him start the engine, climbing up the side and holding out his hand to me, umph, just sex on a stick. I sat sideways in his lap nibbling on his neck as he showed me around and drove us to a hill that overlooked a valley where we watched cattle meander. It was time.
"Jasper?" I mumbled into his neck.
"Yeah babe?"
"Thank you for putting my heart back together."
Jasper pulled me back and tilted my head back looking into my eyes.
"His name was Edward. I met him right away after I moved in with my dad, junior year. I was crazy about him, obsessed probably. Head over heels in love, or so I thought. He said he felt the same way about me. He was the boy every girl wanted and he wanted only me. I was so sure that I didn't deserve him, he was too perfect, gorgeous, popular, smart, rich, the whole package. We spent all our time together, at school, out of school, his family was my family, we didn't really have friends other than his sister Jane and brother Alec. He monopolized all my time; decided everything we would do, eat, wear, and everywhere we went. I let him. I didn't see him for the controlling bastard that he was. I thought his over protectiveness was sweet and meant that he loved me. I didn't understand then that is was controlling and not for my benefit as much as it was to mark his territory. I guess now I realize that was all I was to him, property, his latest toy. His family was very nice to me and I believed they genuinely cared for me, but I suppose they never really did, they couldn't have. They belonged to a much different social circle than Charlie. That circle didn't approve of Edward slumming it with the Police Chief's daughter."
"We had been fooling around a little for awhile and by the summer before senior year he kept pushing it further and further physically, telling me he loved me and he wanted me and that he wanted us to be our first and only partners. He kept talking about marriage and going off to college together and living together. I wanted him too, don't get me wrong. I wanted to have sex with him. I wanted and believed he wanted all the other things he said he wanted too. That summer I gave myself to him, every part of me, my heart, my soul and my body. Of course I didn't know it then, but he was just as selfish about the sex as he was about everything else. He never took the time to make sure it was ok for me. I didn't know any better. At the time I thought he was making love to me, which was what he had said. I realized recently it wasn't even close. Like everything else it was always on his terms and only his terms."
"The beginning of senior year he suddenly started acting weird, he took me for a walk in the woods and told me that he was tired of pretending, that I was a silly little girl and that he could never really love me. I wasn't good enough for him; I was nothing more than a source of amusement to entertain him. He broke my heart, tore it out and stomped it on the ground. When he was through he said that I would never see him or his family again, that it would be as if he never existed. He left me there, alone, shattered, vulnerable and absolutely devastated. I had no friends to turn to, he had seen to that. I couldn't tell Charlie that I had slept with him. My only saving grace was that he always insisted on using condoms, so I didn't worry that I could be pregnant or that he had given me anything. I was so stupid up until that moment I actually thought I had been his only one. I found out later that he had slept with half the class behind my back; that was part of the reason he kept me so isolated. He had been telling everyone that I thought I was too good for them and that was why we never socialized with anyone."
"I collapsed on the forest floor and went numb. My father had people searching for me for hours before I was found. I didn't go to school for a week. I never made any friends; I locked myself in the house and quit life. I went to school, studied and that was it. I talked to Renee a lot and then she was diagnosed and what was left of my life spiraled further and further out of control."
Jasper just held me to his chest stroking my hair through the whole story. He never stopped me, interrupted or judged any of my actions. Finally when he spoke he leaned back and looked into my eyes.
"He didn't deserve you."
"There's more I need to tell you Jasper."
"Go on darlin' I'm not going anywhere." He kissed my head and pulled me back into his chest.
"I was a shell of my former self, my mother was dead, her husband refused to speak to me blaming me for causing her so much worry, concern and grief in her final days and he became a bitter drunk. Charlie never got over losing my mom and so the two of us threw ourselves a little pity party that lasted until I left for school. I tried to forget him and move on but my self esteem and self worth were so utterly decimated that I didn't trust anyone. I didn't open up to anyone, I tried relationships, but what kind of relationship can there be when you don't let the other person in, so they failed miserably. When Charlie died all I wanted to do was join them, join my parents, but I couldn't do that to them. Then I truly believed that I didn't want anyone and I pushed everyone away. My new mantra became 'if you don't care it won't hurt'. I didn't see anyone for a couple years. Then, I used people Jasper; I buried my loneliness and pain in the arms of strangers that meant nothing to me and I never ever slept with any of them more than once. I wouldn't take the chance that I would get accidentally pulled into a relationship I couldn't handle. Every other part of my life was going perfectly according to plan. I excelled at school and had a great job and bought a home that I loved, would graduate top of my class and become partner at the firm and my life would be completely empty."
"Until I met you; I met you and you turned my world upside down. This totally hot stranger that rode into my life, and gave of him self, treated me with more respect than I thought I deserved, and made it all about me. Jasper, never in my life has anyone made anything about me. It was the first time that I ever let my guard down, ever let anyone see the real me since Edward left me in that damn forest. At first I thought it would only be that one night and I would have been ok with that until you tricked me into the weekend. Sometime over that next week I realized that I had been me, myself, with you, and it was comfortable and I felt confident and secure and cared for. I liked it, I liked the way you made me feel, the way I felt about myself. For the first time in a long time, I found myself wanting to see someone again. I wanted to see you again and I didn't think I ever would. When you didn't come back that next weekend, you were all I thought about. I drove myself crazy. When you did come back, I was so damn scared because I was so damn happy. The time since then has been the best of my life, you were right that night that you said we knew each other better than anyone else, better than we knew ourselves."
"So, you see Jasper, you put my heart back together, you gave me back my self, my self worth, my esteem. Your love has made me whole and what's more you gave your self to me, my missing other half, the mate to my soul, you taught me what real love is and it is so much more than I ever imagined. Jasper Whitlock, I love you more than you can ever truly know and my heart will be yours for all eternity."
Jasper had tears streaming down his face when I finally finished speaking, but the smile in his eyes on his face told me all I needed to know.
"Marry me?" Jasper said it with all the love and care in his heart with such confidence and finality that I was awe struck.
"Yes."
We watched the sunset over the valley below us and Jasper made love to me on that big green tractor and I made love to him, relishing in the feel of his strong arms, feeling him fill every fiber of my being, my soul and my heart as though each thrust reached those very depths. His eyes riveted to mine as I bared what was left of my soul to him and drank in every piece of his soul. We truly became one that night, it wasn't going to take a piece of paper or a minister or judge to make that true. Our hearts were permanently seared together in love for the rest of our days but we would someday celebrate that union with the people we loved.
Big Green Tractor, Jason Aldean
She had a shiny little beamer with the rag top down,
Sittin' in the drive but she wouldn't get out,
The dogs were all barking and wagging around,
And I just laughed and said yall get in,
She had on a new dress and she curled her hair,
She was looking too good not to go somewhere,
Said what you want to do baby I don't care,
We can go to the show we can stay out here,
And I can take you for a ride on my big green tractor,
We can go slow or make it go faster,
Down through the woods and out to the pasture,
Long as I'm with you it really don't matter,
climb up in my lap and drive if you want to,
Girl you know you got me to hold on to,
We can go to town but baby if you'd rather,
I'll take you for a ride on my big green tractor,
Said we can fire it up and I can show you around,
Sit upon the hill and watch the sun go down,
When the fireflies are dancing and the moon comes out,
We can turn on the lights and head back to the house,
Or we can take you for a ride on my big green tractor,
We can go slow or make it go faster,
Down through the woods and out to the pasture,
Long as I'm with you it really don't matter,
climb up in my lap and drive if you want to,
Girl you know you got me to hold on to,
We can go to town but baby if you'd rather,
I'll take you for a ride on my big green tractor,
Just let me dust off the seat,
Mmmmmm put your pretty little arms around me,
Hell yeah,
You can climb up in my lap and drive if you want to,
Girl you know you got me to hold on to,
We can go to town but baby if you'd rather,
I'll take you for a ride on my big green tractor,
Oh yeah yeah,
We can go to town,
Or we can go another round,
On my big green tractor.
Thanks for all the kind words and reviews, and alerts and favs, I try to answer them all but sometimes fall a little short.
No this is not the end, still much drama and love to go. I'm just dying to know your thoughts, all of you regular reviewers, you know I can't wait to hear what you think and for all of you that haven't chimed in yet, now is the time let me know you are out there and what you thought about this chapter. Thanks for sticking with me.