Thanks for all the great reviews and comments. Peter has earned his little reward so I will be posting the outtake of Peter's and Char's night. He really needs some loving from his woman and deserves some happiness especially after the revelations in this chapter. I hope to post it by next weekend.

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Only At Night

Chapter 21 Heart Break

The realtor called just after we finished dinner telling Jasper that she had several places she wanted to show us, one she thought that might be perfect for us that just hit the market. We decided to fly out in the morning and take a look at the places she had lined up. Jasper talked Peter and Char into coming with us. We planned to stay three nights, so of course they rented a 5,000 square foot villa suite with three full bedrooms, and they chartered a flight. Char and I had spa treatments scheduled and we had dinner reservations to go officially celebrate our engagements. I was really looking forward to it, as completely over the top as it was.

We went our separate ways after dinner to pack for the morning's flight. Jasper packs like a slob. He was literally just throwing things in the bag and I kept taking them out and folding them and putting them back in. He laughed at me the whole time.

"Bella, they are going to need to be ironed anyway, what is the big deal?" Jasper shrugged his shoulders as he threw another shirt in the bag.

"The big deal is that you can not fit as much when they are thrown in the bag in a big ball, instead of folded properly. Besides, you are just being a slob." I laughed at him, refolding the latest shirt.

"Do you want to put your dress in the hanging bag with my suit?" Jasper asked holding up the hanger with the only dress I brought with me, the little clingy black one he liked so much.

"Yeah, if you don't just throw them in the bag and you actually hang them." I teased him.

"Very funny." Jasper slapped my ass.

"So Jasper, how come you didn't tell me about Irina?"

"Oh, I told you that we had someone that cooked for us and cleaned, didn't I?"

"Um, I think one of you mentioned it, but I didn't realize she lived her and had kids that lived here."

"Yeah, they live in the guest house, sorry, I didn't think about it I guess. She's worked for us since my parents were alive and she has lived here about eight years. She helped Peter and I a lot when our parents first died, she really took care of us."

"Oh, does her husband work on the ranch?"

"Um, well, that is kind of why she lives here. She married a real jerk about a year after our parents died and got pregnant right away and then again when the baby was only about six months old. The kids are ten and eleven now. Anyway, he was abusive and when she realized that it wasn't going to stop she came to us and told us what had been going on and that she was going to leave him and leave town. We talked her into moving in here instead. A couple years later she moved into the guest house so the kids could have a more normal life and they could have some privacy."

"Wow. Has he ever caused problems?"

"No, as long as he didn't have to pay child support or alimony, he didn't care enough to be bothered. No one around here would really go against the Whitlock family anyway, so once the Police Chief explained that if he bothered her he'd be arrested, that was the end of it. He left town years ago."

"Sounds like Jacob in the making." I realized the irony.

"Yeah, that thought occurred to me." Jasper smiled tentatively at me and I smiled back placing the remainder of the folded clothes in the bag.

"You okay darlin'?"

"Yeah, I guess I am just starting to realize how prevalent this stuff is, you know, abusive men, stalkers, harassment, all of it." I frowned.

"It is unfortunate, but I don't think it is only men that engage in that behavior."

"No, I'm sure you are right. I just can't imagine what people that don't have wonderful friends and families do to get through that. I don't know what I would have done without you and my friends."

"I know baby, I'm here though, and it will be ok." Jasper stopped what he was doing and came over and put his arms around me.

"I know. I'm very lucky." I leaned into Jasper and wrapped my arms around his waist.

Jasper just held me for awhile and my thoughts absorbed me completely. The images and ideas flashed in my mind, all the times in my life that I had been a victim, and didn't even realize it. Jay had been sexually harassing me for months and I tolerated it, Jacob was stalking me, Edward had been emotionally and verbally abusive and controlling and I never even realized it at the time. It seems that I really just finally realized the entirety of it. Rose had been a victim, Irina too, how many other people I knew? I wondered whether some women were just pre-programmed to become victims, whether some people were just wired to be abusers. What made victims and abusers? It was all just so overwhelming to think about.

"Bella, come on darlin' lets get a shower and get some sleep, we have a long day tomorrow." Jasper led me to the bathroom and turned the shower water on. I pulled myself together and got undressed and stepped into the shower. Jasper followed me in and washed my hair massaging my head. His strong hands felt so amazing as he worked my scalp, his fingers gently rubbing in circles behind my ears and over the base of my neck. I stood with my back pressed into his chest, his arms wrapped around me while he held me close. I turned into Jasper and kissed him, then washed his hair and rubbed the shower gel into his arms, shoulders, back and chest lingering over each part of his body, just caring for him.

We finished up and toweled each other dry. Jasper held out my robe as I slipped my arms in and wrapped it around me and he changed while I combed out my hair. Coming to stand behind me, Jasper picked up the blow dryer, and together we dried my hair. We finished and went to bed where I quickly fell asleep in Jasper's arms, emotionally exhausted.

I slept soundly, no nightmares, only pleasant dreams of a peaceful ranch with horses and cattle grazing.

I woke to Peter's voice blaring through the speaker on the wall announcing breakfast in 10 minutes. I swear, I am going to tear that damn speaker out of the wall one of these days. Jasper kissed the top of my head and I felt his body shaking with laughter before I actually heard it.

I got up and threw a pair of jeans and a shirt on and trotted down to the kitchen. It annoyed me no end that Char looked like she had been up for hours and like she had just stepped out of a photo shoot. For goodness sake, it was 7:00 in the damn morning, life is just not fair.

Peter was crabby too, but still, his smirking at my grumpy morning demeanor did nothing to help matters. Why were they coming with us again?

The bags were loaded into the back of the limo, and Char and I climbed in huddling together over our coffees as the boys followed behind us. I really could get used to this chartered flight idea. No fighting the masses at the main airport, we were able to fly out of a smaller private landing field, no fighting with the overhead luggage bins, or climbing over rude people you were forced to sit next to. Then, there was the whole waiting at the gate until the plane was ready; all the nuisances of flying were diminished by being on a private, charter flight. I could only imagine how much easier still it would be if you owned the plane. Hell, there was certainly enough space for a runway on the ranch. In fact, I think there was an old service road I saw parts of that could probably be used for just that purpose.

We boarded quickly, after a very quiet ride to the airfield. The plane was small and I couldn't help watch Char rub Peter's back as he squeezed his eyes tightly closed. I had not realized that Peter didn't care for flying, but I sensed this was not something to tease him about, so I kept quiet. I wondered if that had been the reason for his grumpy mood this morning and on the ride to the airport. The poor thing really did seem like a nervous wreck, although, I could tell he was trying hard to hide it.

Jasper was watching me out of the corner of his eye, as I watched Peter out of the corner of mine. I felt Jasper squeeze my hand, bringing my attention back to him. I turned to face him and saw sadness, regret, in his eyes.

I knew right then there was a reason Peter was so nervous. Why, with all the money they had, did they not have a private plane? It would have made sense; Jasper routinely flew around the country on book deals and lectures, not to mention all the interviewing he had been doing. He had never once flown a charter when he came to Seattle either, it was always commercial. Pieces were falling into place like dominoes. Both of their parents died at once. That wasn't natural causes. OH GOD, it must have been some kind of accident. Did the boys have to fly somewhere to identify the bodies? OH JESUS, the no drinking and driving rule, were they killed in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver? Why would that make Peter so nervous about flying though? No, Jasper was watching me nervously now. I felt myself stiffen and I'm sure my eyes must have glazed over; everything was circling in my brain too fast to focus.

Think Bella, think, what had Jasper told you, what did that article say, what the hell happened to their parents?

I realized I was shaking and breathing hard. Char looked back at me and her eyes darted much too quickly between me and Jasper, she was panic stricken. Peter's eyes were still squeezed tight and his knuckles were white around Char's hand. I looked from Peter's desperate expression to Char's panicked one and then to Jasper, he looked terrified.

"Bella, shhh, please calm down, please, not now. It's ok, shhhh," he whispered into my ear. I felt his hand run up and down my back as I looked at him reeling from what my heart already knew and my brain so frantically tried to digest. I looked back to Char and the silent tears were running down her cheeks as she shook her head, pleading with me with her eyes.

OH. MY. GOD. NO. NO, no, it couldn't be true, no.

I closed my eyes and leaned into Jasper as he held me tight to his chest. His heart was racing, thumping so loud, I thought sure it would burst through at any moment. I bit my tongue to keep from whimpering aloud. I felt Jasper buckle the seat belt and kiss my temple. He didn't let go of me and I listened for his heart to slow, to return to the steady rhythm it should have been. I took deep breaths, willing myself to calm down for his sake, for Peter's sake.

When Jasper's heart beat was completely stable again and I regained my composure I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was still watching me, although his eyes seemed a million miles away. His skin was pale and clammy, he looked nauseous. Yet, his hand still soothed me, running up and down my arm, massaging gently at my shoulder before returning to its pattern.

Here he was, soothing me, when it was his parents that perished in a plane crash.

"I am so very sorry." I mouthed the words to him and watched as the tears left his eyes, rolling down his cheeks as he just nodded.

Clasping my other hand over the hand that held mine I rubbed circles along the back of Jasper's skin. I reached up and kissed the tears away from his eyes and just stayed at his side nestled as close as I could get.

I wanted to be sick, but I knew, that for once, it was me that needed to be strong for my family. I could not break down, not now. They needed my strength right now; Jasper needed me to be his rock for a change. We could talk later, he could let it out later, and right now all three of them needed me. I would not fail them.

We remained quiet the rest of the flight but the tension seemed to lessen a little before we landed. The pilot's voice never came on over the speaker, just the ding of a bell and a light above the cockpit door signaled descent with the flashing seatbelt. I sat up straighter and held tight to Jasper's hand and looked to him trying to convey understanding and compassion. He smiled weakly and nodded.

Once we were safely on the ground I got up and placed my purse over my shoulder and squeezed Jasper's shoulder letting him know he could sit a minute. I did the same with Char and then waited by the cockpit door for the pilot. As soon as he stepped out he looked at the cabin and to me and led me into the cockpit.

"Are they ok; I know how rough it must have been?" he asked.

Clearly he knew even more than I did. I could see the sadness in his eyes and hear the concern for them in his voice.

"Let's just give them a minute, thank you. Is there anything I need to do, I don't want them to have to deal with anything right now." I explained.

"No, nothing, here's my card, if anything changes for the return trip, just call me. In fact, would you call me tonight and let me know how they are doing?"

"Sure, I think I might be handling the travel arrangements form here on out, is that ok?"

"Yes, that would be a big help for them I'm sure. They would have loved you," he smiled and wiped at his eyes before clearing his throat and opening the door to the cabin. I wanted to ask, but I just couldn't.

They were all still seated, but Jasper began to get up when he saw me. The pilot opened the door and lowered the stairs and whispered, "Whenever they are ready, the car is right over there." He pointed out the doorway and I saw the driver leaning up against the car looking down at the road.

I went to Jasper and wrapped my arms around his waist, holding him tight. He held me to his chest and I heard his breath hitch twice before he whispered, "thank you."

We walked to Peter and Char and Jasper knelt in front of his brother. I looked away, trying to contain my grief while I gave them some privacy.

I heard Jasper's voice whispering to Peter and heard the creak of the seats as they must have gotten up. I felt Jasper's hand at my back signaling me that we could deplane. I walked straight ahead, down the stairs and straight to the car. The driver looked at me and immediately opened the back door. I whispered the name of the hotel and he nodded. I climbed into the back and moved around to the side of the oversized horseshoe shaped seat. I kept my eyes in my lap and waited for the others to climb in.

No one said a word the entire drive and I just held tight to Jasper's hand. I had never been so relieved for a short drive. I never even looked out the window despite the fact that I was now in the town that I would be living in for years to come, making my life and my family in. I just didn't really care at the moment.

As much as I wished Jasper had told me this before we came, I understood why he couldn't. The pain must have been unbearable for them, why did Peter agree to come? I felt sure Jasper could have handled the flight if he had been on his own, hell; he'd flown dozens of times just since I had met him. At least I prayed he didn't experience that, whatever that had been, every time he flew. I wondered whether they had ever flown together since that horrible day, or if Peter ever flew at all.

We got to the hotel and Jasper and I checked in while Peter and Char stood outside. Our bags seemed to some how float from the plane, to the limo, to the hotel suite, without my ever having noticed them. With key cards in hand we walked out to Peter and Char and Jasper spoke to Peter for a moment asking if he wanted to come up or stay outside for a bit. Peter put his arm around his brother's shoulder and said, "Come on." Char followed behind and I quietly took her hand in mine and followed after the boys to the suite.

Jasper motioned to the bar and I quickly went and grabbed shot glasses and the tequila and brought it over to the couches where Peter had sunken into the overstuffed seat. I poured four shots and passed them out. We all sat for several minutes not moving, not talking, and just holding onto the shots. When Peter was finally ready he looked up and said, "How does that go Bella, 1, 2, 3, fuck it?"

"1, 2, 3, fuck it." Each of us responded and drank the shots down quickly. My heart ached for them.

I walked over to Peter and kneeling in front of him took his hands in mine. After several minutes he looked at me and we both simply nodded, tears welling in our eyes. Then Char handed us each a beer and I got up and walked back to Jasper and let him pull me into his lap.

Peter broke the silence. "I'm starving; can we get something to eat?"

We agreed to all go freshen up and go out to get some lunch before we had to meet the realtor.

I followed Jasper through the bedroom and into our bath. I really needed to wash my face; there was mascara all over my eyes.

"Bella?"

"Shh, it is ok babe; we can talk when you are ready." I went to him and sank into his chest.

"Thank you." He kissed my temple.

"Hey, I love you." I said as I pulled back to look up at him.

"I know darlin', I know." He leaned down and kissed me so sweetly.

"Just tell me Peter is ok." I looked into his eyes, I was so worried about Peter.

"He will be, it's just really hard and we've never, you know, together, before." Jasper's eyes started to well up again.

"Let's get ready, we don't want to keep him waiting." I knew Jasper could not let go just yet, he needed to hold out a bit longer if we were ever going to get through this day.

We had lunch at an upbeat burger joint and although it was a bit subdued, it certainly could have been worse after the day we had had. We were meeting the realtor in half an hour at the first property. I just hoped the mood was not going to make it harder to find something we liked.

As we pulled up to the property I was jumping up and down, I was so excited. It was absolutely gorgeous. Clearly Jasper was going to have to be the calm and collected, level headed one today, I was in love with the place and we had not walked in the front door yet.

The curb appeal was perfect, the area was nice, close to campus, but not too close. I squeezed Jasper's hand tight as we walked in. We all wondered around a few minutes by ourselves when the realtor called out that she would like to point out some of the amenities. She spouted off facts and the more she talked, the less I liked the place. The kitchen was all wrong, the appliances were not set up in the most efficient manner, and despite all the elaborate built in bells and whistles, like the Miele Built-In Coffee, nothing made sense. Whoever designed this made sure they got all the hottest gadgets, but clearly didn't know their way around a kitchen. I hated it.

Jasper knew right away that I didn't like it and I could tell Peter hated the kitchen too.

We left and drove on to the next property. Peter was starting to come around.

"That kitchen was fucked up, huh Bella?" he said.

"Tell me about it, it looked like a kitchen convention puked in there," I laughed.

"Did you see how the pantry doors opened? They would hit the ovens if you tried to open them both at the same time. Besides, who puts the pantry next to the hot ass ovens?" Peter was on a roll.

I was relieved that he was starting to behave like himself again. It gave me an idea.

"Peter, your job is to point out the most messed up things in each place, deal?" I asked.

"Oh, I think I can handle that."

The next place was even worse. There was no property, just all house. It was oversized and an obvious teardown, rehab gone badly. I thought Jasper was going to go off on the realtor when he saw it. He refused to go inside.

The third house was nice, it was bigger than I thought we needed but Peter insisted we would need the extra bedrooms and it sat on a decent size lot, so Jasper was intrigued. The flow was all wrong though and it was much too stuffy and formal for us, it just didn't fit our personalities at all.

The fourth house was the one that had just come up for sale it wasn't even on the MLS yet. It was ridiculously large for the two of us. My immediate reaction was absolutely not. It was 12,000 square feet for crying out loud. This was not a house, this was a gated estate. Exactly what I didn't want.

Char prodded me and said, "Oh come on, Bella, think of the decorating ideas we can get from this place."

UGGHH.

"Great, what are we going to do with the other 5 bedrooms and 7 baths?" I quipped

"You mean 4 bedrooms and 6 baths, one of each is ours," Peter said.

"We don't even need them for offices, it says here there are an office and a library. Oh and a lounge, what pray tell is a lounge?" I seriously had absolutely no idea what constituted a lounge, was it someplace to lounge around or maybe it was a nightclub?

"Ooo, look it has a game room and a theater, which could be fun." Char was getting on my nerves as we all poured over the brochure.

"Shit, Char, there is a separate guest cottage, Bella, screw it, Char and I get the guest cottage you are back up a bedroom and a bath," Peter said, laughing.

"Yeah and it is 1,300 square feet. That is nearly as big as the house I own now. I know, you guys live in this, this, thing, and I will live in the guest house."

"Oh. My. God. Peter, look it says it has an elevator!" Char was jumping up and down in her seat.

Again, I ask myself, why are they here? Hmm, it does have an infinity pool, a Spa and a separate exercise room. That could be nice.

We drove up to the front of the property and through the gates. The house itself looked big from the front, but actually, it wasn't as overwhelming as I thought it would be. It was quite lovely with the expansive windows that bowed across the front and the balcony that overlooked the lawns. It had a French feel, but casual, not at all "Versailles" in nature.

The property was beautiful and so serene and private. We parked in front of a six car garage bypassing the motor court ample for at least 20 cars, the brochure touted.

Imagine the parties we could have. Yeah, I can see it now, hosting the faculty dinner parties and law firm Christmas parties. Oh hell.

The realtor insisted that we walk around the back before going in, prattling on about seeing the pool in the full day light and it being just spectacular. Well, she was right, the pool was incredible, the views, magnificent. I could imagine lying on the chaise overlooking the pool and the view; the way that the infinity pool was situated you could imagine the water just flowing right over the edge and into the lake and hills beyond. I was stunned by the beauty of the property.

Char and Peter were clearly impressed too, I heard him snicker something about what he would do to her in that pool and walked away rolling my eyes. Jasper was quietly standing at the edge of the patio just looking out over the grounds. He looked, tranquil, at peace.

Placing my hand in his, I admired the view for a moment with him, before pulling him along to go see the inside of the house.

For its size the rooms still seemed intimate and warm. I had expected a cold distant feeling but that could not have been further from the truth. The main shared areas, the living room, the formal dining room were generously proportioned but cozy at the same time. The family room was perfect. Every room seemed to have a fireplace and an astonishing view. The kitchen had a butler's pantry and a breakfast nook. I could just envision the whole crowd spending weekends and all of us gathered around that table looking out the French doors to the patio. Not only did the kitchen have all the amenities I would love and need, the set up was perfect, I could really see myself cooking in here.

"Wow." Peter had walked into the kitchen proper and looked around just nodding his head with the strangest grin on his face. It scrunched up his chin and made his bottom lip protrude. He looked ridiculous.

Jasper was inspecting the pantry cabinets and pulling out the sliding trays and testing the self closing drawers. I was crazy about the appliance lift tucked into a lower cabinet at the baking station. When you opened it and nudged the bottom the shelf lifted so that the industrial Kitchen Aid Mixer was at counter level. That was too cool. Naturally al the appliances were top of the line and commercial grade but still had the look and feel of a warm French country kitchen. I'd never run out of burner or oven space and the walk in freezer, well, hell if Jasper ever really made me mad, let's just say no one would ever find him in the back shelves.

Peter and Char went off to explore the bedrooms as I walked over to Jasper as he monkeyed around with something in the mud room. He was very quiet in his determination to investigate every nook and cranny of the ample storage spaces in the all too perfect mudroom that led to the garage. I couldn't tell what he was thinking but he was very absorbed, whatever it was.

"Want to check out the Master Bedroom with me, cowboy?" I teased.

"Absolutely, darlin'."

Of course it was splendid, his and hers closets each the size of my bedroom, with built in dressers and shelving of every kind flanked the master bath. There were more shoe sized squares along one wall than comprised my entire closet space at home. There was a jewelry safe in another wall with a mirror covering the front of it. The bedroom itself was perfect. From the bed you could watch the fire burn in the fireplace, see the hills and the lake in the background through the windows and out the balcony. The Master Bath rivaled the one in Seattle's penthouse suite Jasper and I had stayed in. I liked that the house's hidden back staircase went directly from the bedrooms to the kitchen.

There were certainly enough guest rooms to accommodate our crazy family. In fact, Peter and Char raced in to tell us that they had picked their room out and wanted to show us.

I was slowly falling in love with the place but Jasper had still not said a word. Granted the house was way too much for us, it seemed a bit obscene to even consider it. Sure, it was smaller than the house at the ranch, and didn't have all the outbuildings and stables, but it was still way too much for two people. It was everything I had said I could not do, but it was so comfortable, so warm, so private and peaceful.

Oh hell, if he wants it, I do love it and I would be willing to let him splurge. I'm sure it was a drop in the bucket for him anyway, even if I hated the idea of spending, spending what? I realized I had no idea what the asking price was.

"Bella, what do you think of this one?" Jasper asked me once Peter and Char had run back to check the dimensions on their bedroom.

"Well, it is an amazing piece of property. The house is beautiful, so much warmer than I ever would have imagined. It is kind of a lot for just us though."

"How long do you think it will just be us?" Jasper crooked his eyebrow and shot me his sexy smile.

I melted a bit. "Well, probably not more than a couple years before we would need some of the extra bedrooms anyway, I guess. Plus, there is plenty of room for Peter and Char and any additions they might have."

"Yeah."

"Jasper, do you like it?"

"It's the only place we looked at that has this kind of acreage and the privacy."

"But do you like it?"

"What's not to like? Did you see the theater and the game room? I could just imagine having all our friends over here, they'd never leave," He laughed, "but is it too much for you?"

"No, I think I could handle it, I wouldn't have believed it from the brochure, but, it really could be a home."

"Let's go look at the other bedrooms."

"Ok."

We caught up with Peter and Char and they showed us "their" room and we all looked at the other rooms and then Char reminded me about the guest house. We hadn't even seen that yet.

The guys went to check out the garage and Char headed to the guest house with me.

"Bella, do you like it?"

"Yeah, Char do you think it is too much though? I mean it is just the two of us."

"Bella, did you see the way Jasper's eyes lit up when he saw how much land there was? I think he needs the space and the privacy of a place like this. Besides, this is the only one that you actually love. I saw the way you looked at that kitchen." Char smirked, she already knew me too well.

"It is pretty perfect isn't it?"

"Yeah, oh Bella, I think you guys will be very happy here."

"Yeah, your right, I do love it. I can't believe I am saying that. My whole house would fit in one corner of this place."

"Hey, if I have to live in the house at the ranch, you can handle this."

"You are right."

"Good, go tell Jasper."

Any special requests to console Peter??? Let me know and I'll discuss it with Char.

Pictures of the house will be posted on the blog, see profile for link.

Thanks, and please be kind and review.