Voting starts today for the Jasper's Darlin's' Holiday one shot contest, Home for the Holidays. Go check out my submission May All Your Christmases Be Whitlock (link on my profile) you may vote for your two favorites. There are some great submissions by some great authors, some of whom I consider my very best and loyal readers, reviewers, favorite authors, tweets and now friends. Of course, I secretly hope that mine is one of your favorites and earns your vote, tee hee.

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2094159/Home_For_The_Holidays

If you don't have me on author alert, you might want to add me, I will be posting the Peter and Char session as an outtake, don't miss it.

Only At Night

Chapter 22 Healing

JPOV

More than anything, I wanted Peter to come with us to Palo Alto to look at houses. I really needed his opinions and his honesty. I knew that whatever we decided on, it was the first of many decisions that Bella and I would have to make together. I was also worried that Bella and I would never agree on a place. We would have to learn to compromise and although deep down this had to be between us, I would be more comfortable with Peter assuring me I was doing the right thing. Besides, Peter had to agree to whatever I was spending, and would handle negotiations, so it would make it easier if he just came with.

It was a lot to ask of him, to join us on this trip. It would be the first time that we ever flew in the same plane together since our parents' crash. While I was fairly accustomed to flying, at least commercially, Peter was not. He never really had the need to fly much, if he did, he flew commercial and even that was just so hard for him. Flying itself was an emotionally difficult thing for him, so many terrible memories, but the crowds just added to the fear. Twice, we needed to travel together but he refused to take the same flight. I really didn't think I was going to get him to agree to this. When he hedged about the charter and all flying together I finally told him that I wouldn't fly separately, if something happened on one of the flights, how did he expect either of us to ever go on without the other, no, it was better to be on the same flight and go together if something happened than to ever have to live through that kind of anguish again. I really felt the same way about Bella and Char now too, if we all had to go somewhere together, I wanted us to fly together, no more separate flights. A charter just made more sense for the first time, it would just be too difficult as it was, commercial was out of the question. I was relieved when he had finally agreed.

It wouldn't be fair to Bella to go into this blind. It seemed that there were always so many things that I needed to tell Bella. Would there ever come a day that she knew absolutely everything, that I would no longer have to stress about the best way to tell her something. I wanted to tell her how our parents died before we left so that she would understand how difficult this was going to be for Peter, and hell probably for me too, despite that I could fly alone now without issue, this would be a first. It was also the first time I would fly with her.

I planned to tell her before we went to bed for the night, but then she asked about Irina and it just brought so many other things to the forefront for her that I couldn't bring myself to add to the burden that already threatened to cause her to crumble every day. Instead, I just held her and tried to make it all okay. Maybe the next day would go fine and it wouldn't be a big deal after all.

Famous last words.

I had to be delusional to have ever thought it would "go fine" when Peter and I flew together for the first time since a similar plane took the lives of the two people that loved us more than anything, the two people we loved more than anything. Compound that with the fact that now in addition to Peter and I, there were again two people that we now both loved more than anything, that now loved us more than anything, joining us. Poor Bella had no idea what was going on when Peter started to unravel. I was terrified. I couldn't very well tell her then, it was too late.

Bella was an intelligent, perceptive woman and it didn't take her more than a few minutes to piece it all together. I watched her face, horrified, while her agile mind analyzed the evidence and drew its conclusions. Naturally she came to the correct ones quickly, only slightly freaking out. Char was watching her, chastising me with her eyes for not having told her before now. Peter was barely keeping it together and finally she looked to me and I knew she had it all figured out. Instantly her demeanor changed and she became the rock that we all so desperately needed. Her ability to put aside the shock, grief and terror I felt flowing through her just moments before, amazed me. Then again, she had been through enough of her own horrors to be more than adept at it.

By the time we made it to the hotel, I was more in love with her than I ever would have imagined possible. I already knew she was amazing, loving, caring and that she was my life. To watch what she did for my brother, for me, even though I had been completely unfair to her by not telling her what had happened, just made all of what I had already felt for her pale by comparison.

She was compassionate and understanding, she gave us both space but at the same time let us know she was there, she'd wait silently by in case we needed her. The way she managed to take over with the pilot and the driver, the way she left us to process without demanding an explanation, the woman was truly amazing and she was mine. Even once we were alone, she gave me the space I needed; she didn't pressure me to talk, to explain.

I hated that after all she had already given, I was about to be selfish and push her into more house than she was probably comfortable with. I just knew that I could not live somewhere with no green, no space, no privacy. Those were the things I hated most about college. Mom and Dad had been adamant when Peter left for school that he live in a dorm and not off campus in his own apartment, they would have insisted on that for me too. When the time came, Peter only had to say it once, I never argued, I knew it was important to our parents that we had as normal an experience as possible. It was always foremost on their minds. Honestly though, sharing a tiny dorm room, not something I wanted to repeat with the love of my life. I was just hopeful the realtor had complied with my conditions, I didn't care that much about the house, but there had to be some yard.

After looking at the first couple houses I was ready to fire her ass on the spot. I was beyond pissed at the shit she was showing us. Sometimes it would just be easier to tell people up front who I was and not deal with this bull, but in this case I knew telling her who I really was would do nothing but put only the most outlandishly expensive properties in front of us, the ones Bella would hate, but this was absurd, did she pay any attention at all to what I had said were must haves?

When she handed us the brochures for the last place as she gave us directions, I glanced at it quickly. All I saw was 13 acres. Shit I didn't even care what the house looked like, we could bulldoze it if need be and start over. Finally, something with some space.

I was driving so I couldn't really look at the brochure any longer. I sat back and watched the roads and traffic and listened to Peter and Char drone on about all the features that would annoy the hell out of Bella, elevator, theatre, and guest quarters. At one point she suggested that she live in the guest house and they live in the house. Fuck. The one place with some land and they were going to have her so pissed before she even saw it, that she'd never agree and I would have to settle for the third piece of crap we looked at or be a selfish asshole, great.

Why were they here again?

The place was big, but honestly with what I saw Bella do to decorate her own home, I knew that she could have this place looking like a cozy, warm home with little effort. I loved the house; it wasn't stuffy or ornate, well, with the exception of the foyer anyway. This really could be perfect for us; I was a nervous wreck that Bella would refuse just on principle.

I pretended to pay particular attention to the smallest details in the kitchen trying to determine how Bella felt about the house, but I just couldn't tell what she thought. She had looked like a deer in the headlights when we first drove onto the property and checked out the pool and patios. Now that she was in the kitchen, she seemed appreciative of the layout and the appliances. Her emotions seemed to go back and forth.

Once we were alone, upstairs checking out the master bedroom, she said it was amazing but a lot for just us. If I had my way it wouldn't be just us for long. I couldn't wait to knock her up and have a bunch of beautiful little dark haired angels running around calling her momma.

She asked me if I liked it and I wanted to scream that I loved it, but I didn't want to be a selfish bastard. I asked her if it was too much for her, and she said she could handle it. Well hell, that isn't exactly an "I Love It," now is it?

Char pulled Bella off to go look at the guest house and I figured Peter had set that up so that we could talk. Sure enough not two minutes later he was grilling me.

"Jasper, what the hell, you actually look like you have a stick up your ass, what's your problem? The place is perfect."

"Peter, did you see the asking price?"

"Yeah, and it's a steal, the economy can be thanked for that. Jasper don't start that shit, you know damn well this is a great investment. But that's bullshit too, because I don't see you two ever wanting to leave here. What is it?"

"I feel like an asshole, forcing her into way more than she is comfortable with. You saw her in the car, she would rather live in the guest house for fucks sake."

"Really, could have fooled me, by the look on her face in that kitchen, I think she may have gotten off right there. Of course, you wouldn't have noticed, your head was too far up your ass. Why don't you actually talk to her about it instead of deciding what she thinks?"

"You really think she likes it?"

"Only one way to find out."

"Okay, go get Char and disappear for a while, will ya?"

"Yep, good luck."

Bella was just coming to find me when Peter was walking out to go find Char.

"Hey, how is the guest house?"

"Perfect, like the rest of it."

Huh, maybe she did like it, maybe I was being an ass.

"Bella, do you mean you like it?"

"Yes, Jasper, I love it, do you?"

"Yeah, I love it. Well, welcome home baby."

"Really, really, we can really get it, do you mean it?" Bella jumped up and down and jumped up on top of me, throwing her arms around my neck and wrapping her legs around my waist.

I could not help but laugh. God, I was an idiot. I was so convinced that she wouldn't like it that I didn't pay enough attention to the signals she was already sending me. Yes, she was willing to accept more than she needed for my sake, but this was exactly what would make that acceptable to her, it was the perfect balance, and I finally realized that balance was the key for us.

"Yeah, darlin', let's go find Peter. He will handle it. We will probably purchase as part of the estate rather than in any one's name, is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, I actually like that idea better than having our names associated directly."

Peter spoke with the realtor as we walked around talking about what Bella was already planning. My girl was excited, and that, thrilled me.

I was excited, but knew I'd be a wreck for a few days until we knew for sure that it was ours. Now I just couldn't wait to go out and celebrate all we had to be thankful for. Peter and Char were finally going to get married, Bella and I were getting married, buying a house, hey, maybe even having babies in the next year or two. We had so much to celebrate.

~~**~~**~~**~~

I stood in the bathroom looking in the mirror, shaving, and watching Bella wiggle into a tiny black lace bra and thong. I was instantly hard just watching that. She didn't know I was watching as she shook her head slightly and smiled with a little smirk as she thought about something while she adjusted her breasts in the cups of the bra. Almost without hesitating she readjusted so that there was more cleavage showing and she bit her bottom lip. I shuddered at the shiver that ran down my spine and up my shaft at the thought I hoped was going through her mind.

I loved watching her dress; it was so erotic, so intimate, so sensual. It was as though getting dressed was a time she held some secret, inner, dialogue, unknown to anyone. Watching made me feel like it was a part of her only I knew. That thought alone, was sexy as hell. I wanted to know things, intimate details about her that nobody else knew. I chuckled at the effect she had on me, all of me.

The chuckle brought my appreciation to her attention and suddenly she was looking at me, smirking. Did she know what she did to me? Did she know that just watching her dress made me harder than stone and filled my other head with very dirty thoughts?

By the way her fingers slipped into the front of her tiny little fabric and began seductively rubbing herself it was clear that she knew all to well what she did to me. Good lord that was hot. Through the mirror I watched her finger herself as I finished shaving, licking my lips between glides of the razor. The last of the stubble gone, I put the razor down and turned to watch her, I knew she liked that. I unwrapped the towel hanging from my waist, wiped the remaining shave gel from my face, and dropped the towel to the floor with my eyes locked to hers the entire time.

I reached down and grabbed my cock and began pumping as she licked her lips and smirked at me. Watching her remove her thong with her free hand, I smirked back at her. We stood there, ten feet apart, teasing each other, until she started moaning and breathing erratically. Fuck, watching her get herself off like that had me shooting my load all over.

The little tease tossed her head back and laughed, removing her fingers; she grabbed her dress and pulled it over her head.

It did not escape my attention that she never put those panties back on. I cleaned up and walked straight behind her to grab my pants that were laid out on the bed. I stepped in front of her and made a show of putting them on with nothing underneath. Before going to the elaborate lengths of zipping and buttoning for her I bent and picked up the panties where she dropped them to the floor in between where we were now faced off. Holding them up to my face and breathing in I smirked at her and put them in my pocket.

She raised an eyebrow at me and reached behind her to the bed and held out my shirt. I slipped my arms in and she stepped forward and buttoned it, and tucked it in, slyly stroking me a few times, before she slowly zipped and fastened my pants.

If only we could get dressed like this every day, I would surely die a happy man.

I was bound and determined to take her at some point while we were out this evening just to make sure she knew how much this shit turned me on.

"Let's go people, you can do that shit later, we have reservations," Peter said through the closed door.

Bella's cheeks turned pink and she giggled. Fuck if I wasn't hard again.

I grabbed my red tie and jacket and slipped into my shoes as she put her shoes on and grabbed her bag.

The celebration started out with a wonderful dinner complete with champagne to toast our engagements. The girls were so much fun to watch, they would huddle and giggle and of course "powder their noses" together. The closeness growing between Bella and Peter was evident too. All four of us were so excited about the directions our lives were headed. It was the happiest Peter and I had been since our parents were alive and I could see Char, now so comfortable with her future, was happy at last.

The conversation soon turned to weddings. Bella told us that Rosalie had been considering getting married in Vegas and asked Bella if we wanted to join them and make it a double wedding.

Peter was first to point out the obvious concerns of one Whitlock brother getting married in Vegas, but both Whitlock brothers and Rosalie Hale, the paparazzi would have a field day if they got wind of it. That led to the idea of a joint wedding. Peter thought it was a great idea, but suggested the girls might each like their own special day.

I only worried that Bella got everything she wanted for our wedding and I didn't want her to compromise anything, she was already doing so much of that for me. I was willing to go along with anything she wanted as long as she was my wife, and as long as it was soon.

The girls both wanted to think about what the type of wedding they wanted and we agreed to talk about it again.

We headed out to some clubs to celebrate with some dancing. I was a little nervous about being seen at the club scene by future students, but figured it was unlikely and let myself relax. We danced a lot and Peter and I watched the girls dancing together. I put my hand in my pocket to feel the satin and lace of the little triangle of material there as I watched my soon to be wife dancing with my soon to be sister-in-law. Bella noticed where my hand was and I was lost in the blush that covered her chest and rose to her cheeks.

Amazed once again that she could be so sweet and innocent to blush like that and such a little vixen to be panty less for me at the same time, I shot her a I want you now look and held out my hand.

Bella came to join me and Peter took up dancing with Char again. Pulling her behind me through the bar to the private table we had, I squeezed her hand trying to make sure she knew what I wanted to do to her.

Bella knew very well what I wanted; she may have wanted it more. I slid into the banquette and unzipped my pants as Bella stood in front of me pushed tight against the table before she sat back into my lap, moving her dress out of the way, covering us.

I watched as the fabric of the table cloth covered our laps and Bella leaned forward slightly into the table. Reaching my arm between us I grabbed my dick and ran it, once, quickly, across her slit. She was so very ready for me. Wasting no time, I directed it back to her opening and she sat back into my lap further. Just the feeling of being buried deep inside her in the middle of a nightclub was almost too much. I thrust into her several times as she ground herself into me. I heard her slight moan and tried as discretely as I could to pick it up and reached under the table cloth and her dress and rubbed at her clit bringing her over the edge. The whole thing only lasted a few minutes, but damn, it was worth it. I tried to clean her off as best I could, without her moving, with a napkin from the table and then she slid off and sat at the edge of my knees blocking me from the club while I wiped myself off and tucked things back away and zipped up.

We would both need to go to the restroom to sort ourselves out. Bella climbed out of my lap and taking my hand led the way through the club to the restrooms. Peter shot me an awed look as we passed by the dance floor. Fucker never missed a thing.

By the time we returned, Peter and Char were waiting to leave. Char was all but grinding on Peter and he was in a major hurry to get out of there and back to the hotel. I couldn't resist messing with him.

"Aw, come on guys what's the big rush? Let's stay awhile," I said seriously.

Char was kissing Peter's neck, completely ignoring me and Bella was giggling.

Peter glared at me as he leaned over to within inches of my ear and whispered through clenched jaw, "Listen, you little fuck, you have gotten it twice already, do not cock block me or I'll embarrass the shit out of you."

"Bella, let's go." I grabbed her hand and listened to her giggling all the way out while Peter groaned at whatever it was that Char was doing to him. I thought about leaving them with the car service and taking a taxi, I had no desire to see that shit.

Peter and Char headed immediately for their room when we got back. Bella, laughed and went to the bar and poured us shots of tequila and toasted, "1, 2, 3, it is their turn."

I laughed my ass off. Jeez, it was a good thing we were not all going to be living under one roof much longer.

We both changed into our comfy clothes and Bella climbed into my lap turning on a movie. We each had another drink and sat quietly while I ignored the movie working up the courage to start talking.

Bella smiled up at me and whispered, "I'm ready when you are, but take all the time you need." Then she turned her attention back to the movie.

Between her and Peter it was a wonder I kept anything to myself.

Okay, here goes.

"Flying was one of Dad's hobbies. Once Peter and I were in high school and old enough to be left alone for the night, they would take off in the plane for date nights. They'd fly around or they'd fly somewhere for dinner, half the time it was some cheesy restaurant at some airport. My mother never liked over the top anything either. You remind me of her so much."

"Really, I remind you of her?"

"Yep. Anyway, Peter was off at school and it was their anniversary. They decided to go away for the weekend. They were flying into a small private airport when they crashed. The air traffic controller had been drinking and cleared their plane and another private plane to land on the same runway. By the time they saw each other it was too late. My parents were killed as were five people on the other plane."

"Oh Jasper. I am so sorry."

"The call came into the house and I answered, expecting it to be my parents checking in. It was an FAA investigator and the Airport CEO, explaining that there had been an accident. I called Peter immediately and he called Char's dad. Char's dad insisted on dealing with it and had a car pick Peter up and bring him home. Between Char's dad and Tyler's dad they pretty much handled the rough stuff. Tyler's dad was our attorney at the time and he dealt with all the legal issues, the negligence suits, the whole mess, while Char's parents took care of the funeral arrangements."

"You two were alone?" Bella asked filled with concern.

"We stayed at Char's for a couple weeks and then Irina pretty much took care of us, feeding us and making us get out of bed, stuff like that. The county had intervened shortly after the funeral regarding guardianship over me. Tyler's parents offered to step in but Peter insisted that he be allowed to apply for guardianship. The county made me stay with Tyler's parents until they made a decision. Tyler's parents had acted as foster parents in the past in emergency situations so that and the fact that Tyler's dad was a well respected attorney with friends on the bench the county was agreeable. Peter was able to finish his semester remotely and then he dropped out until I graduated. I left for school and Peter finished up locally, he refused to leave home again. The fact that he wasn't there when it happened weighs heavily on him."

"There was nothing he could have done if he were home, it wasn't his fault," Bella said through the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

"He has always felt terrible that I was home alone when the call came in."

"What happened to the air traffic controller?"

"He was put on leave and ultimately fired. Tyler's dad was the one that first suspected that he had been impaired when they got there. They did a routine test right after the crash and even though that had been at least 2 hours later he was well beyond the legal limit for driving, much less working the control tower. There were negligence suits brought by the estate and by the estate of the other family that was killed and he was named personally along with the airport, FAA anyone and everyone Tyler's dad could reasonably add. The suit settled and after the settlement was paid out he shot himself."

"Now I understand the strict drinking and driving rule. Oh Jasper, that must have been so very hard on both of you."

"Bella, I imagine it must have been a whole lot like the phone call you received when your father was killed."

"Yeah, it sounds eerily familiar. I didn't have any one to come home to though. I stayed at school except to go home for the memorial. Dad's friends helped me with that. The only other time I ever went home was to pack the house up and sign the papers with the lawyers and realtor. Of course, I was over 18 so I was just expected to be an adult."

"Bella, before we have kids, I want the paper work completed, if anything ever happens to us I want Peter to raise them; I don't want him to ever have to go through a fight for that to happen, okay?"

"Absolutely, I wouldn't want it any other way."

I held her to me and she held tight to my waist. I thought I would cry more, but I didn't, it felt good to tell her what had happened and have that over with.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah Darlin'?"

"How many kids we talking here?"

God I love this woman.