I don't own Twilight Saga; if I did I wouldn't be sitting for GCE A level.

Chapter 14

She was standing by the kitchen counter filing two glass of fresh orange juice from the carton. The simple task might have taken very less time, if only she didn't keep on aiming the mouth of the lid on the outer edge of the glass. The orange liquid ran between her fingers leaving its sticky presence in them and dripped down the counter to the floor. Her hands shook badly, and her throat constricted. She wanted to cry.

Why couldn't she fill the glass?

She was startled when a strong hand touched her wrist. His hands were warm, stroking up and down her arms in comfort. It made her tingle everywhere. With a sighing defeat, her eyes moved from the glass and followed his long slender fingers, to his hard forearm to the tightening of his biceps under the crisp black shirt and then to the brightest green eyes.

"Come, I'll take you home" he whispered brushing her tangled hair from her shoulder. She nodded, too afraid to voice her words. His hand held her at the small of her back, leading her away from the small house she once used to call home. But now it no longer felt the same. It was still and quiet and suffocating. Nothing felt the same without her father Charlie.

The funeral was simple. There were only a handful of people who watched the white coffin being lowered into the freshly dug grave and when all was said and done they gave their condolences and went away. But Edward didn't go. He stood there beside Chelsea and mourned for Charlie. As a doctor, he was taught to differentiate between his personal and professional life but somehow along the way Charlie had became more than just his patient. He was like the father he never had.

After his prayer, he looked back at Chelsea. He wondered how she was feeling knowing she was an orphan now. She had barely spoken a word since the news. She didn't even shed a tear when she took a last glimpse at Charlie. She just stood there with cold lifeless eyes listening, and nodding when necessary. He wanted to give her some space but when he saw her broken form by the kitchen counter, all he could think about was the last words that Charlie had said to him.

"Please take care of her Edward"

Edward took Chelsea's hand in his and squeezed. She stared at the scenario outside the window of his car, but her hold on him tightened. Edward didn't complain when her nails dig at the heel of his palm marking his flesh. He just drove through the road to reach his home...their home.

"How can you let him go?"

"How can you walk out like this and give him an easy way out?"

"What the hell were you thinking Alice Brandon? Just answer me." Rosalie paced around the room screaming at Alice who was sobbing with her head in between her knees. Rosalie clenched her eyes shut, trying her best to keep the angry tears at bay. It has been an hour since Alice had confessed what that jackass Jasper had done to her and all she could think of was burning that bastard alive.

"Please make this stop Rose…please...just please" Alice cried. Rosalie's heart clenched at the sight before her. Jasper had truly broken Alice. She was no longer the person she once used to be. Gone was the smile, gone was the chirpiness in her voice. All that was left was the red puffy eyes with the dark shadow under them screaming her agony. Rosalie hugged Alice tightly and rocked her to and fro.

"Everything is going to be fine" Rosalie shushed. "I am going to sue his ass for breaking your heart. He will never know what hit him"

"No" Alice cried. "This is all my fault Rose…everything is my fault…I should have never trusted him. I was so stupid…I just fell into his trap…Bella always told me I should never trust people so easily…I didn't listen…now look what happened…Oh God Rose what am I going to do?"

"You are going to forget him. Kick him out of your life and put him to his place" Rosalie spat.

"Easier said than done" Alice shook her head.

"What do you mean?" Rosalie narrowed her eyes at Alice.

There was a long silence when no one spoke.

"You still love him, don't you?" Rosalie asked. Alice didn't say a word as she stared blankly outside the window.

"How?" she asked in a disbelieving tone.

"I loved him Rose, he just didn't love me" Alice whispered. "Just because he faked everything, doesn't mean I would stop loving him."

Rosalie was about to open her mouth when Alice stopped her. "Think of it Rose….god forbid if tomorrow Emmet comes and breaks it off with you….will you stop loving him?"

"Can you forget him completely and move on with your life" She asked. By looking at the sad smile on Rosalie's face she knew her answer.

"It's not that easy."

"The idea of moving forward seems so nice…believe me I have tried Rose…I have tried so hard…I have spent my days rolling in bed thinking I am going to move forward. But then when I closed my eyes I saw him and saw the memories flash behind my eyes…and I can't do it...It just hurts so much"

"Where were you this weekend?" Rosalie asked.

Alice was suddenly very quiet.

"Alice?"

"Seattle" Alice mumbled.

Rosalie looked up at her. "What were you doing in Seattle?"

Alice let out a long deep breathe.

"I didn't have the guts to face you" she whispered sadly.

"I am sorry" the tears started to descend down her cheeks. "I couldn't go back to Bella...I couldn't come to you either. I don't deserve you guys...I really don't."

"Alice stop it" Rosalie cried.

"No look at me, look at what I have done...I have jeopardized our years of friendship in a matter of seconds. I didn't trust Bella and then made you choose me instead of her. She had to go through so much alone...at least I had you. She must hate us."

"She does" Rosalie said sadly as they both hugged each other.

The loud beeping noise rang out in the room making Jasper groan. He thrashed his blanket with his leg and rolled on his bed. The sound started to get even louder so he plunged his head under his pillow.

"Fuck!" He groaned in a sleepy voice.

"Alice get the damn phone" he shouted.

"Alice can't you hear it? Shut it off!"

"ALICEEE!"

Suddenly the memories came rushing back to him and he jolted upright.

It has been a week since Alice has left but he was still finding it rather difficult to return back to his original routine. He remembered calling for her the other day when he couldn't find his shirt, then the other day when he returned home hungry after the night shift, and the other day when he found dirty dishes on the washer and the other...

He shook his head.

Obviously he didn't miss her. Why the hell would he miss her? That's like so stupid. He has lived his life before her and he could still manage it without her. Then why was his eyes always wondering around the house and wishing maybe one day he would come home to find the makeup box lying on his dresser or maybe the girly perfume bottle on his nightstand or the pink toothbrush beside his plain white one.

Obviously he didn't miss her.

He yawned high and dragged his body to the other side of the room to answer the still ringing phone.

"Hello"

"Baby it took you so long" Tanya pouted at the other end of the line.

"Oh...mm I was sleeping. What's up?"

"Hmmm did you sleep naked?" She asked seductively.

"Tanya I don't have time for shit" Jasper growled.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Jazz? You bailed on me last evening and now you are shouting at me? You better not walk out today, understand?"

"Listen Tanya you don't own my fucking ass so don't you dare bark out orders at me"

"You are an asshole" She hissed. "I am not sexing you up anymore"

"I don't care...you weren't a good lay anyway"

"You...you-"before she could even complete he pressed on the red button and switched of his phone.

Fucking Tanya Denali.

Fucking Alice Brandon.

It was Sunday morning and Bella was lying on her bed watching Grey's Anatomy with Edward's head lying on her lap. Midway, she got bored watching the soap. How much doctor shit could a person take anyway? She turned off the TV and huffed to get Edward's attention. But he was deep inside the newspaper and didn't even bother to look up.

"Edward" she whined.

"hmm"

"Edwarddd"

"Hmmm"

She ruffled his hair, then tickled his neck, then pinched his nose and then snatched the newspaper away.

"What?" He laughed.

"Why aren't you looking at me" she stick her bottom lips out in a sad pout.

Edward pulled her head down to her lap to meet her gaze and said "I am looking at you right now." The corner of her mouth pulled upward and her eyes shined with a mischievous glint.

"Why aren't you kissing me then?" she whispered brushing her lips with his once. She could feel him smile against her lips. He parted his lips slowly and gave her a kiss worth diabetes.

"I am kissing you right now" he whispered in a husky tone biting her delicious lips and then soothing the ache with his tongue. Bella moaned aloud and he took the chance to push her on her back. He then leaned down to kiss her deeply, sucking gently at first and then pressing his tongue against her, feeling her hot breath, teasing and building the tension between them. Just when things started to get out of control he pulled back to breathe and then smiled into her eyes.

She closed her eyes and thought how happy he made her and thought how amazing he was and how good she felt being with him. She enjoyed the gentle, tender touch of his fingers brushing her cheek lightly and the soft feathery kisses on her eyelids and nose and chin. She ran her fingers through his bronze locks and let him explore her neck. He was slow, sweet and caring and it made her want to cry.

She cradled his cheeks in her palms and pulled his mouth to her again, kissing him slowly and fervently. She moved her lips to his cheeks, skimmed her nose against his jaw and breathed in his strong masculine smell that she loved.

Suddenly she was on top of him, moving her hips slowly so she could brush against his arousal each time.

"Bella you promised we are going to take this slow" his voice was hoarse with desire.

"When did that happen?" she moaned.

"Ahhh" Edward groaned when started to move her hips faster. He pulled her mouth to his urgently, plunging his tongue inside her inviting mouth to let her know how badly he wanted her.

"I want you too" Bella whispered against his lips and then without a thought she spread her hand flat against his chest and urged him to lie down. She caught the hem of his T-shirt and he raised his arms in air to help her get it out. She ran her fingers from his chest to his flat stomach and circled his nipple with her nails which made him let out a shaky breathe. Her fingers explored the waistband of his boxers, feeling the hard muscle of his hip and the sharply defined V.

"Bella" He groaned softly. The sensation knotted inside his stomach. He was so turned on that he could barely think. He almost died, when she started to kiss the length of his body. He knew where she was planning to take this.

"You don't need to do this baby" He murmured pushing her hair away from her face. She rubbed herself on him and whimpered "I want to Edward...please"

She used her fingers to ease his boxers down. He lifted his hips slightly so she can get it off and his erection sprang free. Her body reacted instantaneously, he was so sexy. She explored the curly hair of his trail and moved downward and downward until his balls were on her palm. She squeezed one and then the other and glanced at him and saw his eyes clenched shut in longing and need. He gasped when her small hand wrapped around the base of his member. He was hard and long, wrapped in silky flesh and already leaking for her. She reached her tongue and licked him.

She had never went down on a man before, so she had no idea what to expect and what to not. She stroked, and licked, pumped and squeezed gauzing his reaction with every action. He was cursing, and moaning, and thrashing his head against her pillow every time she sucked on the tip of the head. It was not affecting him only. She was going crazy with lust, watching him open and so vulnerable in front of her.

"Baby…baby...I can't" He panted.

"Come in my mouth please…please I want to taste you" She whimpered.

Those words were his undoing and so it wasn't long before he had his orgasm. She swallowed every drop of him and then kissed the swollen tip once before wrapping her arms around his neck.

"That was…"she was speechless.

"Fucktastic" he grinned before pulling her for a long kiss.

He suddenly pulled away and wiped his mouth. "Yuck!"

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"How did you even swallow that?" He asked incredulously. "It tastes like shit"

His whole face was scrunched up which made him look so damn adorable. She giggled and then kissed his jaw.

"I will take whatever you have to give me"

Edward sighed.

He felt so guilty.

He had been doing a lot of thinking lately, something that he hadn't done in a long time. It made him realize how his decisions had always been so stupid and rash. He had never given much thought into things before, never pondered if it was going to be fruitful in the end or a hurtful loss. It was like operating someone, you know the disease, and you know the cure, and you are going to do everything in your hands to save him but you are never sure if he will make it or not. Edward realized even the minuscule decisions he hade made had changed his life.

He could have a better relationship with Jasper if he never competed against him, he could have stayed away from Chelsea and not raise her hopes to only leave her and to ruin her life further. He could have never made that stupid bet against Jasper and hurt Bella. Every decision he hade made had somehow always managed to backfire on him. And because of it he was scared. He was scared to tell Bella about his past because he was sure if she knew she would leave him.

The day he had returned from visiting Chelsea, he was so angry, not at her but himself. No one could hate someone that much than how he hated himself then. He could never forgive himself for all the things he had done to her in the past. Sometimes he wanted to believe whatever he had done; it was always to make her happy. But he realized now, in doing so he had only broken her further. As if the proof of her lying in a Mental Hospital wasn't enough he had to go and make matters worse.

What rights he had to shout at her for something he had no idea she had done and then make her feel as if everything was her fault? How could he save lives and ruin others at the same time? What kind of person he was?

He knew he was one selfish creature and hence, he hadn't thought twice before knocking on Bella's door in the middle of the night. He hadn't thought what she would think, he hadn't thought about the burden of troubles he was pushing with him her way. All he had thought in that second was that he wanted her. He just wanted to be with her, and let her take care of him and make him forget everything. And that's what she exactly did. She was gentle and caring, showering him with attention and affection.

He was always taking and taking and he realized right then he was taking again. Bella wasn't foolish; he knew that she knew something was wrong. He was so glad that she wasn't still pushing him away. But for how long?

He stroked her hair tenderly with her words echoing inside his head.

I will take whatever you have to give me

It has been a week since Bella found a broken Edward at her doorstep. While she certainly didn't know what had caused him the pain, but she did know whatever it was, it was still bothering Edward from the inside. Frankly, it was killing her to see him suffer, but she knew she couldn't do much than wait for him patiently to open up. They both were very new in this relationship field, and they were still learning, so she didn't want to push him. So she told him so.

"Edward you can take all the time in the world, I assure you I am not going anywhere. I am not pushing you…I just want you to know that you can share things with me. I know something is bothering you, and it's killing me because I don't know what it is… I just want to help you baby."

"Bella...I" he hesitated.

She plopped herself on one elbow and looked him in the eye.

Tell me please tell me Edward.

I love you so much Bella but I have no right to love you. I'm so sorry.

"Bella I am engaged"

I can't believe this fic has reached 100 reviews...I am so freaking happy. When I started this fic I was sure I wouldn't even get 10…so yeah this is a great achievement for me. Thanks to all the readers who added my story in their fave and alert list and thanks for all the wonderful reviews. I love you guys!

What is the hardest revelation you have ever come across?

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Love,

selfishkiss