Thanks to RunCasyRun for help with the medical knowledge and helping me to not make huge errors there. All my Twitter pals and new RP Family, you know who you are, you rock, having sooo much fun with you.
RunCaseyRun, enjoy the week with Peter and Jasper, you earned it.
On to the story:
Only At Night
Chapter 35
The Decision
I fell apart in Peter's arms. It was all too much. Jasper was going to be okay, we would be okay. Jacob could not hurt me anymore. Peter held me and rocked me as I sobbed. I fell asleep in Peter's arms at some point and woke when I heard the doctor come back in on the second day and say that Peter and I could go in and see Jasper, but only for a few minutes.
We walked down the antiseptic hall to the room Jasper was in. He looked so fragile, lying there with tubes everywhere attached to a respirator. He was so pale, his skin was nearly transparent and his hair was damp from the sweat glistening on his face and arms. I went to the en-suite bath and wet a hand towel to wipe Jasper's face and arms. I took my time to clean him up and tried to make him comfortable. I kept whispering, "I Love you," over and over again while I tended to him. I did not know if he could hear me, but I needed to say it and if there was any way he could hear me, I needed him to know that I loved him.
Peter paced the room, the stress and concern heavy on his face. He would stop long enough to stand over Jasper and wring his hands nervously as he vacillated between calling him a stupid fuck and threatening him to get better. Watching Peter handle the stress of nearly losing his only remaining family was heartbreaking and sobering. I realized just how close I came to losing the only thing that really mattered to me.
Bringing the towel down Jasper's arm, I tried to keep him comfortable. I cleaned his hand and suddenly felt his fingers move. Dropping the towel to the floor I put my hand in his and his fingers closed around my hand.
"Oh baby, I'm here, I am right here, I am not going anywhere baby." Jasper squeezed my hand lightly and Peter ran back to his other side and took his other hand.
"I've got you now little brother, Bella and I are right here. I love you." Peter's tears ran down his cheeks and he made no move to wipe them away, no longer caring about being brave.
Jasper's brow lifted in his sarcastic look and I could just imagine him saying, "What, no li'l fuck? You getting soft bro?"
I laughed, I honestly laughed for the first time. My cowboy was going to be just fine.
Peter smirked and mumbled under his breath and then just smiled. A few minutes later he told me to stay and he went to let Char and the others know that Jasper was going to be okay. Later I learned that he also told them the incident had done nothing for his sense of humor.
Jasper refused to let go of my hand when the surgeon came in to check on him. He laughed, shaking his head and said that I could stay as long as I wanted as long as I didn't let him exert himself. Peter came back and pulled a chair up to Jasper's side for me and left me sitting vigil.
Nobody left the hospital again that night; they all slept in chairs in the waiting room. Peter came into the room the next day and insisted that I go to the cafeteria with Char to get something to eat while he sat with Jasper. I didn't want to go, but I knew Peter needed his time with his brother even if he was sleeping the entire time. I didn't have much of an appetite but Char made sure I ate something and pumped me full of caffeine.
Jasper slept the entire day, he opened his eyes, looked up at me, smiled and promptly fell back to sleep several times. He was doing better. For the past four days someone came in every four hours to draw Jasper's blood, they were checking to make sure he wasn't losing anymore blood. I later learned this test is an H & H or hemoglobin and hematocrit. That day the Surgeon came in and ordered Jasper off the respirator and then he sat down to talk to Peter and me.
"He has to be the strongest man I have ever seen. He must really love you; he fought harder than anyone I've ever known to stay alive. Frankly I can't believe he survived. The bullet nicked the aorta and ricocheted, lodging in his lung. The fact that you kept constant pressure on it as soon as it happened probably saved his life, that and the short ambulance ride. It helped Chief Uley had me on speed dial and we were expecting him. He had a lot going in his favor. We were able to extract the bullet easily enough without damage to the lung. His blood work looks good, so there doesn't appear to be any internal bleeding, the stitches are holding. I am going to take him off the respirator but he needs to stay another couple days. Keep him calm. The biggest risk right now is infection and long term he could experience some heart problems. When he is healed I will recommend a heart scan and a Muggle test to assess any damage to the heart. Do you have any questions?"
I had a million questions like, when can he return to work; can he fly; are there any physical restrictions? Once the doctor had answered all of my questions I felt a certain relief; but still I was on edge. Jasper would be ready to go home in two days, but I had no idea whether I would be allowed to leave town with him. How would I be able to take care of him if I had to stay here? Jasper was going home, but he would still need a lot of care and someone to make sure he ate properly and didn't over do it. He couldn't drive for two weeks and there were lifting restrictions and just so many things that I wanted to be able to be there to help him with.
Sam Uley and his deputies concluded their interviews the day before and allowed everyone else to leave. I had not been charged with anything yet but was told not to leave town. Sam was talking to the Clallam County Prosecuting Attorney's Office and I would likely find out today whether they would be filing charges before the Clallam County Superior Court. I had to hope that when they considered all the circumstances the decision would be not to proceed, if not, then I would be charged and formally arraigned.
Most of the others had gone back home and were trying to get back to their lives. My life was right here in this bed. Peter and Char took turns sitting with me while I kept vigil over Jasper, refusing to leave. James, oddly enough refused to leave too. He had been camped out in the waiting room for days, only returning to the hotel to shower and change. Marcus had been by to check on us and to run through some of the legal issues with me.
Yesterday they found Billy Black. Billy's body was floating face down at the shore line of the River in LaPush. The official story is that he had gone to the beach to do some fishing and somehow fell from his wheelchair into the water. They found the chair, fishing pole and tackle box on the pier. Sam suspected that he knew they were coming for him and took the easy way out. Alec black had disappeared from the New York apartment and the majority of Jacob's accounts had been emptied by close of business the day before the wedding. There was little doubt that he would never resurface.
Peter came in to relieve Char and pulling me in for a hug said, "Bella I believe this belongs to you."
My eyes searched Peter's face for explanation until I felt him take my left hand and slip my ring back onto the third finger. Silent tears fell as I realized that he had found my ring.
"Oh Peter, how did you... No don't tell me, just, thank you Peter, thank you so much."
"Anything for you baby girl." Char joined the hug and the three of us were standing, arms entangled, silent tears falling when I heard the sweetest sound in all the world.
"You want to let go of my wife asshole."
"Oh baby, sweet baby, you are awake." I kissed his lips, his cheeks, his sexy chin, his forehead. My lips leaving a gentle trail of love as he started to chuckle.
"Darlin', I aint going nowhere."
"It is over cowboy, it is all over now; we are ok. You are going to be just fine."
"Jacob?"
"Dead."
"Good. Wait, you shot him didn't you?"
"Yes, but not before he shot you, unfortunately. I am so sorry baby."
"Don't, please don't darlin'. Are you okay, that is all that matters to me?"
"Yes, baby I am fine he didn't hurt me, he didn't do anything baby, don't worry."
"How long have I been here?"
"Almost a week."
"Peter, have you been macking on my woman all week bro?"
"Yeah, like I said Char, getting shot did nothing for his sense of humor." Peter crossed the room and pulled Jasper into a giant bear hug.
"Don't do that to me again you li'l fuck. You scared the shit out of me." Peter joked but the sincerity behind his words could not be missed.
Char held one of Jasper's hands and said, "Welcome back Jasper."
We filled him in on everything that had happened and the doctors and nurses all came in over the course of the day to check his vitals and ask him questions. He was doing well enough that he would be released the next day.
I called the pilot and made the arrangements for Jasper to be taken home. Peter and Char were going to accompany him if I could not. We were still waiting to hear from Sam. Peter and Char went back to the hotel to get some rest and pack. Honestly, I think they just wanted to give Jasper and I some privacy in case I could not go home with him.
Jasper argued about leaving without me, but we had no proper place for him to convalesce here in Forks, he needed to be comfortable and not stressed. If I had to stay for very long, Forks would be the very definition of stress. If I were charged, I probably wouldn't be able to be with him any way.
Marcus had already warned me that if they charged me it would be very unlikely I would be granted bail because of my financial resources and ability to flee. I also knew if they charged me it would be very unlikely I would ever practice law, and everything would have been for naught. All the studying, all the sacrifice, putting up with Jay, would all have been a waste.
I prayed that God didn't spite me by giving Jacob that much more over me. He really had impacted my life enough. I couldn't bear to give him any more.
Special equipment was being brought onto the reservation today to search for the bodies of the Cullen family. If they were able to find something, maybe between that and Charlie's gun and whatever else they found at Jacob's lair would be enough to convince the Prosecuting attorney not to pursue charges against me. Any circumstantial evidence that could support my testimony about what Jacob had done would make me very sympathetic to a jury. Assuming we could get any of it into evidence, it might make all the difference. Marcus was going to push that hard in trying to get them to forego filing charges at all.
I sat with Jasper while he ate mashed potato, broth and jello. If he could keep that down, he'd get something more substantial for dinner and leaving in the morning would be a sure thing. He was regaining a bit of strength, though he still seemed so weak, so pale. There was still a trace of blueish purple under his eyes. I wondered if he slept at all the week I had been missing. I really doubted it considering he has been asleep for a week straight since I was found and still had the dark circles.
"Penney for your thoughts Bella?" Jasper looked at me over his apple juice.
"Oh sorry, I was wondering if you slept at all the entire time I had been missing?"
"Char made me a few times for an hour or two. I did get shot you know, I think I am entitled to look like hell," he smirked.
"Oh baby I am sorry, you look great to me." I smiled at him taking his hand in mine.
The silence was deafening as Jasper bit his lip, squeezing my hand in his as he started to open his mouth and stopped several times. Finally he worked up the nerve to speak.
"Bella, did you sleep at all while he had you?" He looked down at our hands, I knew he needed to hear it; he needed to know what happened. He wasn't really asking whether I slept; he was probably torturing himself with visions of things that did not happen.
"Ok baby, let me move this tray out of the way." I moved the tray and sat on the side of his bed holding his hands in mine.
"First of all Jasper, you need to know, he didn't, we didn't, there was no sex, he kept hinting that it was coming but he didn't Jasper. So please don't worry about me that way. He touched me, but it was nothing."
Jasper remained quiet and just watched me, his eyes on mine while I tried to get the words out. I didn't know when we would get this chance again to be alone just the two of us and I needed to tell him now.
"Honestly I was out most of the time. He kept me drugged the first couple days, I would wake up and he would give me some water or soup and it would be drugged and I would pass out again. The doctors checked and there is no reason to believe he did anything while I was out. I really don't think he would have either. He would have wanted me to be fully aware of that."
It was time to tell him everything Jacob had told me.
"His attraction to me was my old boyfriend, Edward. It turns out that they were brothers."
"Bella, I know, I know who Jacob is now, all about what Carlisle did. We met Jacob's sisters they told us the whole story."
"Did they know that Jacob killed him Jasper, he killed Edward and his parents and sister? He loved me; Edward was trying to protect me from Jacob. He slept with all those girls because Jacob was doing terrible things to his sister and threatened to hurt me if Edward didn't, he tried to come back after he left me in the forest, Edward was coming back to tell me everything, to take me away with him when Jacob killed him."
"Bella, I am so sorry."
"Everything that I believed was a lie, the last 7 years of my life, based on a lie, Jasper. I am who I am, or who I was before I met you, because of Jacob, what he did."
"Bella, that is not who you are, those are things that happened to you, and you have moved past them, the same way you will get past this, because you are stronger than anyone I have ever known, you are an amazing, smart, caring woman and I love you, I will be there any way I can darlin', okay?"
"Jasper, he killed Charlie Jasper." The tears came in rivers, not stopping even when Jasper took me in his arms and rocked me. Through the sobs I told him what I had not yet admitted even to myself.
"I killed Charlie Jasper, I wasn't devastated enough by Edward's disappearance so Charlie had to die, it is all my fault. If I had never met Edward, none of this would have happened to me.'
"Oh Bella, darlin' you are not responsible for Charlie's death; all of it is on Jacob. Carlisle certainly is responsible for putting it all into motion, but Jacob killed them all on his own, he is the only one responsible for that."
"God Jasper he nearly killed you too, I wouldn't have survived that, if you had...."
Jasper pulled me tight against his chest and whispered into my hair, "Sh, it is okay darlin' I am fine, you could never get rid of me that easily."
"Jasper, I had to flirt with him, make him think maybe I was loosening up towards him. The place he had me it had a cell, if I didn't he would lock me in the cell. I had to stay out of that call if I had any chance of getting out. I let him brush my hair rub my shoulders, he watched me change, and he watched me shower. Oh, it makes me sick to think about it."
"Bella, I know you only did what you had to to stay safe and get back to me, I would have done the same thing. I would have done anything it took to get back to you, to survive. Don't you dare feel guilty about staying alive for me. I am so sorry I couldn't find you sooner. I am so sorry you even went to the stupid graduation ceremony."
"Jasper, if it weren't the graduation it would have been some other time and place, he never would have stopped. Now, knowing the whole story, I know that. Nothing would have changed that. I am just so glad I met you when I did, or I would have left that bar with him that first night and no one ever would have found me. You saved my life the day we met in every way; we just didn't know it yet."
"Darlin' I love you so much, I am so sorry."
We spent the next couple hours telling each other everything that had happened, all that we learned. We each held a few bits and pieces that the other didn't know and the picture just became clearer when all the pieces were on the table.
We talked about our fears of what would happen next. Jasper assured me we would expend every resource to keep me out of jail. I was scared, mostly scared of being away from Jasper again. I really didn't want to go to jail, but if it kept Jacob from pulling that trigger and killing Jasper I would gladly accept it to have Jasper alive.
Jasper did great with his dinner and was just dozing off when Sam came in with Marcus and Tyler.
"Jasper, honey, Sam and Marcus and Tyler are here, can you stay awake just a little longer to hear what they have to say?"
Jasper's eyes opened and he sat up adjusting the bed back to a reclining position.
"What is going on?" Jasper looked first to Tyler.
"Well, we just met with the Prosecuting Attorney, I gave her the facts and the evidence collected. Jacob's place was a haven of evidence. He had videos of the entire time you were being held, tapes of every conversation at your house going back two years. He really never expected anyone to find his hideout; he had enough evidence there to put him away for a couple lifetimes. There was a map of the reservation with crosses in one area that didn't make sense, so the earth scanners were moved there and sure enough we found 4 bodies, two male, two female. We will know the identities once the coroner is done." Sam explained.
"Are they going to charge her?" Jasper asked, looking to Tyler again.
"The Prosecuting Attorney is going to review and get back to us in the morning, but honestly she was horrified by the whole story. Turns out she knew the Cullen's and of course she knew Charlie. I really don't think so, Marcus here is quite smooth. Shit, I wanted to build a shrine to saint Bella and set up an exorcism for the devil himself by the time he was done." Tyler nodded to Marcus in complete respect and a little awe.
"Just gave her a taste of what she could expect to see in the courtroom if she moves forward. She got a glimpse of the publicity she would have to look forward to; I don't think she will move forward. Hell you just closed the biggest case the county will ever see, and she had no idea it even happened, plus closed your Father's murder case. That is huge. I will be very surprised if she proceeds, the odds are not good and an impartial jury weighing in on the fate of Chief Swan's daughter will be very unlikely. Your father was a real hero to this community." Marcus laid it out on the table and seemed so confident, I felt better already.
"A self defense plea will have never had more merit. I really can't see her moving forward." Marcus explained while Tyler nodded in agreement.
Peter and Char showed up just as Sam and Marcus were leaving. We filled them in on the news and talked about the flight to California later in the afternoon. I hoped we would know something by then so that I could leave with them.
Jasper did great with dinner and his appetite was back in full force. He complained about the taste of the food and how he longed for one of Tom's steaks. I knew then that he was ready to go home.
JPOV
I woke up felling like I had been hit by a truck. The only part of my body that didn't scream out in pain was my hand. My head throbbed and my stomach clenched as I tried to look at my hand to figure out why it didn't hurt. Ah, Bella's hand was intertwined with mine. I had her back. The automatic smile caused my head to ache and I was out again, having nightmares about chasing a wolf through the woods. There was an entire pack of them and we were chasing them and they were chasing us, they had Bella. We tried and tried to get around them to get to her but every way we went, our path was blocked by wolves. The leader was this giant ten foot tall russet colored beast with a psychotic gleam in his eye. It was the strangest of the dreams and I attributed it to the morphine. I woke again and Bella's hand was still in mine, she was wiping my face with a cloth and it felt like heaven.
I dreamt of Bella in a beautiful wedding gown, walking down an aisle making her way to the groom. She was so beautiful, as I watched her make her way to the future as though I was floating above somewhere. The scene was wrong though; there was no one there to watch us get married. Peter and Char were not in attendance. When Bella finally reached the groom and the face came into focus it was not mine, but Jacob's. Suddenly Bella's dress went from white to red spreading, absorbing through the material. All I could hear was Bella screaming.
No matter how awful the dreams, every time I woke, Bella was there, right beside me. I lost count how many times I woke to find her there before I was finally able to speak. Her hand was not in mine and I panicked for a second, thinking that it had been a dream, she wasn't really here. Then I saw Peter, Char and my Bella entangled in a hug. I doubt I have ever been so happy. I watched them a moment before giving Peter grief about hugging my woman.
I knew that he too had been going through hell. I knew because if it were him lying in this bed, that is exactly where I would be. The fact that he and Char were holding Bella, made me feel like our family was complete, the four of us will always be there for one another. If something happened to me now, Bella will always have Peter and Char. Just the same way I will always be there for Char if anything ever happened to Peter.
Peter and I have always been close; to a casual observer I am sure our relationship would look strange. Our terms of endearment more than a little peculiar, but we knew. We both knew the world would stop spinning on its axis if anything ever happened to the other; it has been us for so long. Now, it is the four of us and I couldn't be happier that Peter and Bella stumbled into their own peculiar way to show their affection and acceptance of one another. Char and Bella were like long lost best friends, they were going to be one hell of a combination when they wanted something. I think Peter and I will forever be trying to find ways to pretend not to give in for at least a few minutes. Truth is, they own us and they both know it.
When I finally spoke I said, "You want to let go of my wife asshole."
Bella's head whipped around to me so fast it was almost inhuman. She was by my side and kissing all over my face. Yep, all my body parts were in perfect working condition.
Peter and Char each gave me their own versions of I love you and then made some excuse to leave us alone for awhile. I could not have been more grateful.
All I wanted to do was check every inch of Bella's body to reassure myself that she was here and that she was ok. I was terrified of what she had been through while in the hands of that animal.
We beat around the bush for quite a while talking about what had happened to me, the gunshot, the surgery, the prognosis and then talked about my recuperation and heading back to California. All I really wanted to know was whether he had hurt her, whether she was going to be ok emotionally, mentally and even though she looked more than fine physically, I was worried about that too.
Finally we started talking about what had happened. Bella told me he had drugged her and I wanted to kill him again with my own hands. When she told me he hadn't raped her, hadn't really touched her I was relieved but still just sick that he had made her feel the terror that it was coming. I really wanted to kill him again when she told me how he had watched her, how she had had to flirt with him, let him put his hands on her. I would never blame her, but the image will be haunting me for a very long time to come.
We talked about the actual event, the fighting, the shootings. I recalled seeing Bella pull the trigger. I remember thinking as it happened how proud I was of her, that she had the strength to do it, to end it before he killed us both. Then she told me that he had killed her father. I was so sickened and so worried about what more that was going to do to her. I knew that just as soon as I could I needed to talk to Rose and find someone to help us both get through this. Bella was going to need the help even though she seemed so good right now. I just hoped she didn't fight me on it, didn't think I thought she couldn't handle it. All I want is for her to be able to accept what happened without the guilt I already sensed she was feeling.
The hardest part was listening to her tell me about Edward. Believing that he had used her and thrown her away had done so much to form her personality, it terrified me to think about what learning that he loved her and tried to protect her and so many things were not what they seemed would do to her. Would my love still measure up?
We really talked about everything that had happened and all our fears about what was still hanging over our heads. I didn't see any way possible that they would actually charge her with Jacob's murder, but she really worried about it. I don't think I would be able to take it if they took her away from me again, not after everything else. I was thinking terrible thoughts and knew then that I would do anything to keep her from that fate. If it came down to it I would buy a fucking island with no extradition and bury our asses on it to keep her from that fate. This woman has saved my life in every possible way imaginable.
Sam, Marcus and Tyler came in and updated us on the status; Tyler glanced at me a few times and gave his unspoken assurances that Bella would be ok, one way or another. When they were finished filling us in Sam and Marcus were on the way out and Peter and Char returned. Bella said that James had refused to leave the hospital so she was going to walk out with Marcus to let James know what was going on and to tell him to come in and see me.
While she was gone I took care of business.
"She is not going to jail; I don't give a flying fuck what I have to do. Peter you better have a plane ready and waiting. Tyler, I'm sorry man, I'm sorry to put you in this position."
"What? I didn't hear you I was looking at this chart." Tyler nodded to me.
Bella walked back in the room looking every bit like the angel I first saw outside that club. Even under all the stress, all the unknown, she was still the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.
"James said to get better; he is 'standing guard' in the waiting area. He refuses to leave until you are on that plane and back to California. I swear it is like he is one of your foot soldiers or something." Bella laughed and the entire mood lightened.
We talked about the flight and the plans and Peter and Char and Tyler all left. Bella refused to leave my side. She really did look tired.
"Darlin' come on up and climb in this bed with me. Let's get some sleep."
"Sure cowboy, there is nowhere else I would rather sleep than in your arms."
We just snuggled, kissing and fell asleep in each other's arms. The nurse came in and saw the sleeping Bella in my arms. I winked at her and she just shook her head and smiled. She came back a few moments later with an extra blanket.
"Thank you." I smiled at her warmly.
"No problem dear, I just hope they don't go and do something stupid and charge her. You just enjoy the time you have with her just in case. I'll leave you two alone." She adjusted the IV and made a note in the chart and closed her door on the way out.
Shortly after Bella woke up there was a knock on the door.
"Come in."
James poked his head in and smiled at Bella still in my arms. "Good Morning guys, there is someone here to see you."
We looked to each other and then nodded to James.
James opened the door and Sam, Marcus, Tyler and a sharply dressed woman walked in.
"Bella, Jasper, this is Maria Santiago the Prosecuting Attorney for Clallam County." Sam made the introduction.
"Ms. Swan, Mr. Whitlock." The dark haired woman, petite but fierce looking, nodded to us.
"Hello." Bella stood and extended her hand. I was so proud of her.
"I wanted to come personally and let you know that we will not be pursuing charges against you Ms. Swan."
"Thank you." Bella remained in control and professional.
"I would also like to apologize and offer my sympathies and condolences for all that you have lost because of Jacob Cullen."
"What? Jacob Cullen?" There was venom in Bella's voice as she nearly growled the words.
"Yes, unfortunately he had his name legally changed from Black to Cullen." Maria informed us.
Bella began to shake and Tyler grabbed her and held her.
"Bella, I am so sorry about Charlie, he was a good man, a wonderful Chief of Police and a dear friend."
"Thank you, I am just glad that we finally know what happened." Bella nodded.
"The bodies have been preliminarily identified as Carlisle, Esme, Jane and Edward Cullen. The coroner is just waiting on dental records to issue his conclusion. He wants to be sure there is no possibility of questioning his findings, but he is already positive."
"Thank you Ms. Santiago."
"I just can't believe that Carlisle Cullen... I am sorry Bella, so very sorry. You are both free to leave town whenever you are ready."
We all thanked her again, shook hands and she left. Tyler was spinning Bella around by her waist and Sam and Marcus high fived. James looked like he was going to bust and already had his cell phone to his ear despite the signs everywhere prohibiting its use.
Tyler placed Bella down on the edge of the bed and Bella was back in my arms; it was my turn to kiss everywhere on her face.
See no evil cliffie, are you happy about that? Sorry it took so long to update, this chapter was really, really tough. I know you would think the drama would have been harder, but not the case. This one kicked my ass. So I am wondering what you all think would be the perfect first dance song for each of our couples?? Send me your thoughts we'll see what we come up with.