Chapter 6

"So, babe," Casey said leaning against the kitchen counter taking a long sip of his beer. "Is your ex moving in with us or what? He's here all the time," he said trying to give Jackie a winning grin. "I mean Hyde's cool. I really love the way he burns me and then drinks all my beer but does he really have to come over every night. Your accident was like four months ago," he added with a sigh.

"My accident? My accident? No, the accident ….you know the one you caused. I don't understand why you and Steven can't try to get along. He's my friend now; and besides he's not here every night. Just a lot of them," Jackie insisted as she put the groceries away. "He's not here right now," she suggested playfully. Casey set his beer on the counter and gave her a wicked smile.

"I do have the night off. What did you have in mind?" he asked nibbling her neck suggestively. Jackie pretended to be lost in deep thought for a few moments. "Come on, Jackie. You know I hate it when you do that!" Casey said with a husky laugh.

"I know you pretend to hate it but secretly you love it. Because its me," she said with a shrug.

"I did buy a bottle of wine and I believe we do have some bubble bath..." she said letting her voice trail off and a grin appear on her face.

"Mr. Bubbles here we come!"Casey said slinging a laughing Jackie over his shoulder and hurrying to the bathroom.

Hyde, Kelso and Eric walked up to Jackie's door, each carrying a large brown sack. Hyde had insisted on stopping for groceries after admitting that he'd eaten most of their food the night before after having a one on one circle with Jackie. He wasn't sure how it had happened but it seemed that she was actually cool now. Well it was either that or she'd managed to crawl under his skin again like some kind of spunky tick. He had such a weakness for a damsel in distress, it was pathetic as far as he was concerned. "Should we have called first? I mean is it kinda rude to show up unannounced like this?" Eric said making Hyde snicker and Kelso laugh.

"Who cares? Its just Jackie, oh and my brother;" Kelso said retrieving the key from under the welcome mat. "They have cable," Kelso announced happily. "And Jackie doesn't know it but Casey sprung for the deluxe porno package," he added with a happy nod.

"Okay, hurry it up," Eric said gesturing wildly with his hands. "You've made an excellent case," he said following his friends into the apartment.

"Where's the porno? All I see is football and little house on the prairie,"Eric said with a disappointed sigh. Kelso looked so perplexed and he was halfway through his third round of channel flipping when they noticed noises coming from the bathroom. "Is that what I think it is?" Eric asked in desperate horror.

"My brother is totally doing it. I wonder who its with, if its not Jackie she's gonna be pissed," Kelso said with a gasp.

Hyde's jaw tightened hard enough to alarm Eric before Hyde let an evil grin spread across his face. "I'll be right back," Hyde said giving a slight snicker and quietly hurrying to the bathroom door. "Hey Are you okay in there? You didn't fall did you?" Hyde said after plastering an innocently concerned look on his face as he opened the door. The following shrieks, had both Eric and Kelso gasping for air.

"You're such a dill hole," Donna said laughing and wiping her eyes.

"I can't believe Jackie bought it. She blames the entire thing on Kelso. He didn't even had time to blubber an apology. I'm surprised I was able to keep a straight face," Hyde said with a snicker. Interrupting Jackie and Casey's bathtub rendezvous had made his day, his week and possibly his month.

"What about Casey?" Donna asked grabbing her sides and trying to smother a laugh. Hyde merely gave a shrug.

"I bet he'll lock the door next time," Hyde said before getting up to get himself a beer. " He hates me. I love it," he added snickering.

" No, you love Jackie," Donna said with a grin. "Come on, Hyde. Admit it," she said shaking her head.

"No, I don't," Hyde insisted. "I merely think its funny to mess things up for the bitchy little princess," he added flopping back down in his chair.

"Hyde, you still love her. Its obvious. Its just not obvious why you aren't trying to get her back or why you treated her like shit for over a year. Its like you're punishing her because you love her or something," Donna said in confusion.

"First of all, I don't love her. She's just cute when she's not talking; so that doesn't come up much. Secondly, I haven't treated her like shit, I've treated her like she deserves to be treated. With contempt, there's an important difference," Hyde insisted.

"Yeah, right. That's why you've taken such good care of her. And lets not forget the testosterone level rising to epic proportions whenever you and Casey are in the same room together. Half the time I have to fight the urge to tell Jackie to get out of the way because you two might get it in your heads to mark your territory," Donna said. "Jackie's not gonna wanna be treated like a fire hydrant," she added with a sympathetic shrug.

"Ah, you must be talking about Hyde and Casey," Eric said as he and Fez entered the basement. "Yeah, I'm with Donna on this one. You and Casey look like you are two steps away from taking turns peeing on Jackie. That would be gross," Eric said flopping down beside Donna.

"What on me?" Jackie said standing in the doorway to the basement looking both disgusted and horrified. "Steven, are you planning on throwing pee on me now? I thought we were becoming friends or was that just a way to get me to let my guard down?" she said stomping her foot angrily. Truthfully speaking, Jackie knew she'd come in after missing half the conversation. After the way Hyde had treated her over the past year she couldn't put anything really past him but on the other hand the look on his face was pretty funny. A blended look of disgust and horror, etched on his handsome features. How she wished his glasses were off, she'd have loved to see the emotion reflected in his eyes.

"Of course not! .." Hyde began bolting out of his chair.

"No, Hyde would never throw pee on you," Fez said coming up to stand next to Jackie. "What we were talking about is Hyde and Casey taking turns peeing on you," he added looking at Hyde for approval. "They would just whip it out..."

"Casey's not into that," Jackie said raising her eyebrows meaningfully. "And neither am I. I could have sworn that Steven wasn't that kind of guy either so are you trying to talk him into doing that or what?" Jackie demanded putting her hands on her hips. "If you're into that I'm glad we didn't work out. In fact, I'm gonna go. I'm getting queasy standing this close to you," Jackie said warily as she backed towards the door.

"I'll give you a ride," Hyde said pulling his car keys out of his pocket and ignoring Eric and Donna's laughter. Jackie and Hyde were already halfway up the back steps when a look of understanding spread across Fez's features.

"I would never let anyone pee on you, my goddess!" he shrieked leaning out the door in desperation. " I slap any man who tried!" he promised in despair.

"Do I even want to know?" Kitty Foreman reluctantly asked as she hurried over to the washing machine.

"Sorry about that," Hyde said as they pulled up outside of Jackie and Casey's apartment building. "Fez, you know he's..." Hyde said gesturing as words failed him.

"You know what. Fez is Fez. As long as I don't get peed on I'm a happy girl," Jackie said emphatically. "I don't want the details on how that conversation started. I have a feeling that if I knew, I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. So feel free to keep that information to yourself," Jackie added with a grin. "Thanks again for the ride," she said unfastening her seat belt. "You're a good friend," she added leaning over and giving him a light kiss on his cheek.

"Great. Now, I'm the friendly neighborhood eunuch," Hyde grumbled starting the engine after he saw that Jackie had made it safely inside the building. "How the hell did that happen?" he wondered out loud as he drove away. "I'm obviously not gay. Hell, she and I even dated for over a year..." he continued to grumble. When he got to a stop light he gave his reflection in the rear-view mirror a critical once over, even going so far as to take off his glasses and gave a groan. Even by his standards he was looking pretty rough. His eyes were red rimmed from being both tired and smoking a lot of pot. His clothes were crumpled and his facial hair had taken on a life of its own. He knew what Jackie liked and this was far from it. "I can fix this," he told himself with a satisfied grin. Confident now that Jackie probably didn't view him as genderless but merely as unattractively scruffy he drove home.

"You're ironing your clothes," Eric said the next morning coming to an abrupt stop in the kitchen. "Are you feeling okay, Hyde?" he questioned with concern etched on his wiry features.

"Yeah, I just figured. You know what the hell," Hyde said with a shrug folding a pair of his pants before reaching for a shirt. "I don't like getting mistaken for a guy who might pee on somebody. I gave myself a good once over last night and could see how someone might make that mistake. That won't help me score with the ladies," Hyde explained when Eric continued to look concerned.

"You mean it won't help you score with Jackie," Eric said pouring himself a cup of coffee with an understanding grin spreading across his face. " No, no no. No need to deny it. The force is stron with this one," he said pointing to himself. "Besides, I want Casey Kelso gone. Away from both Donna and Jackie. Although for completely different reasons;" Eric admitted taking a sip of coffee. "So happy hunting. I wish you all the luck in the world," he said giving Hyde a mock salute.