Only At Night

Chapter 36

Home

BPOV

Peter and Char went out to enjoy a nice lunch together while I waited with Jasper for the hospital to issue the medical release paper work and the surgeon to come in for his final visit. I was so relieved that I would be boarding that plane with Jasper today.

If we had to fly commercial we wouldn't be able to leave today, but because it was a private plane the altitude was not as high and there was less risk to Jasper's lung. As it was, Jasper was going to be uncomfortable enough and I was worried about him.

The University was very understanding and horrified by what had happened, it was giving Jasper plenty of leeway considering he had been employed there all of a few short weeks. He should be able to teach his classes though, so things would work out.

I spoke to Rose and filled her in on the plans for the trip to California and promised to call her and let her know when we were settled in at home.

It seemed so odd to me that I was not going back to Seattle that I was going to a new home, a home with the man I love and would share the rest of my life with. In every single way, when I board that plane, when I left here today, I left Washington and all of its memories behind. My new life started the minute the plane doors closed.

I don't think I would ever look back. Our friends would be coming to California and we would all meet up in Texas but I would never step foot in Washington again if I could help it.

Peter insisted on coming to California for a few days, just to make sure I had everything I needed and in case there was anything that need to be moved or carried or lifted. He teasingly cursed about having to do the heavy lifting for Jasper yet again, then accused him of getting shot so he didn't have to do any unpacking.

We laughed so hard Jasper was in pain. Char smacked the back of Peter's head and I growled at him. The renewed fit of laughter was worse.

The surgeon finally came in just after Peter and Char returned from lunch and gave us some final instructions and the referral for the cardiac specialist in San Francisco before shaking our hands and bidding us farewell.

Jasper didn't even argue about the wheelchair ride to the exit, I was glad, he was going to need his strength, and we had a long day ahead of us. Even though he wouldn't have to do much it would be exhausting for him. The furthest he had walked until that point was up and down the hall with one of us helping him.

The limo was waiting for us at the hospital doors and dropped us at the hanger at the private airstrip. We had an hour before we would take off but the plane was here, so we boarded and I could see that Jasper was exhausted already by the time we took our seats.

Jasper was sound asleep within minutes of settling in. I was glad Peter and Char were coming with us. I had a feeling I was going to need the help for a few days at least.

The flight was uneventful, Peter was still nervous but nothing like that first time we all flew together. He was able to talk and relax some, although his fingers clutched tightly to Char's hand or the arm rest of his seat. Char was so patient with him and so loving and tender. Jasper never woke up until we were landing.

Peter helped him down the stairs and to the car and fortunately it was not a very long walk. I was worried about him at home, the house was so big. Maybe I should have rented a wheel chair. Of course that thought made me laugh, knowing Jasper would not hear of it.

Home. I couldn't wait to get there, to see it freshly painted. I was excited to see what Jasper had done so far. He had only been there a short time but if I knew him, he had been up to something.

I suddenly remembered we had no furniture in the house. All my furniture went into the guest house, we had no bed.

"Shit." I cried out in the back of the limo.

"Um Bella?" Peter raising his eyebrows grinned at me.

"Where are we all going to sleep? We don't have a bed; the only bed is in the guest house." I can't believe I had not thought of this before now.

Jasper smirked, "I might have a surprise for you darlin'."

"You bought a bed?" I was so confused, when did he have time to do that.

"Yeah, I bought one for our room and for Peter and Char. I just ordered two king sized Sleep Number beds, I figured that way everyone could set it the way they wanted and it will work out with whatever bed frames you pick Bella and Char of course for your room."

"Are they comfortable?" Peter looked a little skeptical.

"I have no idea; I haven't slept on it yet. I wanted to wait for you darlin'." Jasper winked at me and I melted, how it was possible to be so in love with any one person, I wondered.

By the time we arrived at the house, I didn't really care anymore about the details, just like everything else, they would work themselves out. I had all I needed right here in this car with me.

I was amazed when we pulled through the gates; the property and the house really were spectacular. I couldn't believe I actually got to live here. The car drove up to the back drive, it was closer to the door, and Peter helped Jasper into the house while the driver brought the bags in.

We got Jasper settled into the only comfortable chair in the living room. Char and I decided we needed to run out to do some quick shopping; we needed sheets, blankets some groceries. Peter agreed to stay with Jasper and he had some calls to make to check on the ranch.

Jasper handed me a black card as I kissed him goodbye. Char and I took the SUV Jasper had leased until we decided what we wanted. We hit the stores like a whirlwind. Since we had not made any plans on decorating we just bought neutral sheets and blankets, and towels. We bought a ton of pillows and mattress pads and duvets. I never laughed so hard.

Next we hit the kitchen gadgets and we picked out silverware and basic dishes, glasses and cookware. By the time we had gotten to the cookware we had the store manager personally taking care of us.

I had decided on Stainless Steel for the small appliances for the kitchen to match the other appliances. We selected a toaster, blender, kitchen aid mixer, a bread maker, and a waffle maker. The store manager couldn't keep up with us and had to solicit help. By the time we finished appliances we had the store closed except to us and we were laughing so hard I had to run to the bathroom twice, barely making it the last time.

We were on a roll, the manager was dizzy from the dollar signs flashing before his eyes and so we decided to keep going. By the time we were done we had more gadgets than I knew what to do with, two sets of casual dishes and glassware. We had picked bathroom items for the guest baths and even threw in a bunch of odds and ends, including a robotic vacuum cleaner system. The manager had the stock boys load a truck and he would drive it personally out to the house.

Char called Peter to warn him and I handed over the credit card. The manager was delirious. This was definitely a once in a lifetime experience. Char and I laughed so hard all the way to the grocery store we had to pullover.

We grabbed three carts and stocked the pantry in one, the freezer in one and the refrigerator in the third. I had no idea whether we even had the full makings of a single meal with everything we were throwing in the carts.

We were still laughing when we pulled into the garage. The store truck was still in the drive and three men were unloading under Peter's supervision. He just shook his head at us as Char told him to go get the groceries from the garage.

We quickly washed the bedding so that I could make up the bed for Jasper. It was already getting very late and he looked exhausted. Peter had ordered delivery from the Thai place Jasper had found and it arrived just as the bedding was going onto the beds.

We all ate and Jasper was nodding off in the chair. Peter helped him into the elevator and walked him to the bedroom. I went to the bathroom to get a towel and washcloth for him so he wouldn't have to go any further.

I stopped dead in my tracks. My eyes swept the room, the candles the... Oh God Jasper, he must have done this before he ever left for my graduation. Tears fell down my cheeks, my sweet, sweet cowboy. The house is empty, but he made sure to stock the bathroom with every romantic thing he could.

I walked back out to the bedroom, straight to Jasper, kissing his cheeks and chin and his forehead. "Oh, baby you are the most amazing man, I love you so much."

Jasper smiled and his head sunk back into the pillow as his eyes closed and he began to snore lightly.

Char and Peter stayed up all night with me trying to get the kitchen things unpacked from the boxes and bags and put away. We managed to finish and get a few hours of sleep before Jasper woke up. He was so exhausted from the previous day that we decided to spend the day in the movie theater and watched old movies. Jasper dozed on and off.

Char and I cooked dinner together and we were starting to settle into a routine. We all worked together like a well oiled machine capable of running without maintenance. By the end of the week, Jasper was getting stronger and Char and Peter were ready to get home and return to their lives.

Jasper and I spent the weekend quietly lounging around the house, talking about things we needed for the house making plans to shop for furniture. On Monday I drove him to the University and he returned to work for a few hours a day. I started the Bar Review course and spent most of my time studying. Jasper would be so exhausted by the time we got home that he would be falling asleep eating dinner. I would tuck him into bed and go back to studying.

When I would join him in bed a few hours later he would wake, smile at me, kiss me and fall back to sleep. We would both wake early and I would help Jasper with his breathing therapy and strength training. He frustrated easily and we both hated that he just didn't have the energy for anything. We knew it would take time, but it was like torture.

It had been three weeks and we had not done anything more than kiss. I woke early and decided to take a shower before starting the coffee. I used the shower gel Jasper has stocked up on and thought about how romantic the bathroom had been when we first came back to the house, all Jasper's efforts and we had not yet been able to enjoy them.

The warm water ran down my back and as I lifted my head, tilting back to rinse my hair I began to cry. I missed my Jasper. Sure he was right beside me night and day, but it just wasn't the same. He was still recuperating. I knew, his feelings had not changed, I knew it was just that he was not physically back to health yet, but I missed his hands on me, his body against mine. I missed the kisses, the soft caresses. I missed the hotter than hell banging against the wall fucking and I missed the tender sweet love making.

Hell, I even missed the talks and the joking and even the time away from each other when I just had to pretend he was with me. I missed just talking on the phone, falling asleep on the phone together.

I knew it was stupid, I knew he still loved me the way I still loved him, but I longed to replace the memories of Jacob's hands on me with ones of Jasper's hands trailing my body, memorizing every curve with his fingertips. I was beginning to wonder whether he was still that physically weak or if he couldn't handle what had happened.

I tried to shake it off and opened my eyes to find Jasper leaning against the sink watching me. I screamed. He took me off guard and it reminded me of Jacob watching me shower.

"Oh shit, darlin', I am so sorry." Jasper was through the shower doors and holding me in his arms in a second. My body shook, the terror of everything coming back at once. Finally naked in his arms and all I could do was shake.

Two days later as Jasper was doing his morning rehab exercises I stood, watching. His still toned body, sinewy arms, flexing, sweat glistening off his flesh. Just the sight of him makes me moan in desire. I quickly ducked out before he spotted me ogling him. He was so uncomfortable about the scars on his chest and back now. I just thought they made him even sexier.

A MONTH. An entire month since we have been home and the only time I have been naked in his arms was when I freaked out in the shower. Every time I looked at him I wanted to just grab him and kiss him senseless. He poured my coffee one morning and he was biting his lip as he added the milk and sweet and low and my eyes locked on his lip, I felt instantly wet.

We drove to the University together every morning, he went to work and I went to my Bar Review course and then hit the library. Jasper was working later and later each day, making up for the time he had missed and trying to get things under control for the summer semester that had already started and ahead for the fall.

I talked to Char and Rose at least a few times a week and to Peter most days. Mike and Emmett would call every Friday night with a toast after they had had several shots themselves. I was missing them terribly. Things were getting more and more stressful around the house. Today I watched Jasper pick up his towel from the floor and nearly screamed.

I smacked his ass and he jumped.

"Fuck Bella. We are going to be late, stop screwing around."

I dropped him at the faculty parking lot and the minute he was out of sight I turned around and went home and cried the rest of the morning.

The phone rang at noon.

"Hello?" I sniffled into the phone.

"Bella, what is going on?" Peter sounded concerned.

That was all it took, I was bawling again, shaking. "He won't touch me Peter, he barely looks at me. I don't know what is going on, oh Peter, what am I going to do?"

"Whoa, whoa, calm down honey, what do you mean he won't touch you?"

"He won't touch me Peter, he hasn't..."

"Bella are you telling me you two have not been intimate since you have been home?"

"Yes, Peter, at first I just thought he was too weak from the surgery, and then working was too much and the therapy and, oh Peter something's wrong, he..." The sobs would not stop.

"Bella why didn't you tell me?"

I couldn't stop crying long enough to answer him.

"Bella, I'll be there by tonight. Hang on honey."

Peter hung up and I lay across our bed sobbing until I had to go pick up Jasper.

I don't think he even noticed that I had been crying. The drive home was silent. We got home and he went to the office and closed the door; shutting me out.

At 7:30 Jasper had still not come out of the office and Peter walked through the kitchen door. I looked up from the dishes I was washing and ran into his arms and began sobbing again.

Peter held me until I settled down a bit, running his hand up and down my back.

"Where is he?" Peter was fuming.

"He is in the office; he locked himself in there right after work and hasn't come out."

"Did you two have a fight?"

"No, I haven't said a word, he is just shutting down."

"Go on upstairs honey. I'll talk to him."

I nodded and headed for the stairs.

"LI'L FUCK!!!" Peter's voice bellowed through the first floor.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jasper yelled back.

JPOV

"Seriously, what are you doing here Peter?"

"I had to fly my ass out here to find out what the fuck crawled up your ass to make you treat the best thing that ever happened to you like a piece of shit, you asshole."

"What are you talking about?"

"Bella, you stupid fuck, what is your problem?"

"What the hell did she say?" He was pissing me off with his butting in bullshit.

"I called her today and she was bawling her eyes out, it seems the love of her life won't fucking talk to her, look at her or touch her and hasn't since she saved his sorry ass pathetic life." Peter was pacing the room wearing a hole in the carpet with his pounding on the floor in those damn boots.

"What?"

"Jasper, get your head out of your ass, what is going on?" Peter finally sat down, dropping heavily into the chair in the middle of the office.

"Shit Peter, I don't know. I walked into the bathroom one day while she was in the shower and turned around and saw her in there and she started screaming and shaking. I am scared to say anything, she stays up all night studying, she won't go to bed when I do, I am fucking exhausted; I can't stay up all night. I am so far behind schedule with work it isn't funny, I'm afraid they are going to let me go if I don't get it together. Then I see her looking at me and when I turn to her she takes off. It is like she doesn't want to be in the same room with me. She doesn't want to talk to me. I don't know what is going on; I'm just trying not to push her too much too fast. Shit Peter."

I hated crying in front of that shit, but he always did have a way of breaking through the bullshit and making me face the things I didn't want to face. I tried to hold the tears back but when he got up and pulled me into a bear hug I just let go.

"Jasper, she thinks you don't lover her anymore, that you don't want her."

"What? That is the stupidest thing I ever.... Shit, she does?"

"Jesus you are the stupidest genius I have ever known."

"Fuck you, I am the only genius you have ever known." I grinned at him.

"What do I do?"

Peter rolled his eyes and his hand cracked across the back of my head.

"Talk to her dumbass."

I nodded and walked out to go find Bella. I could hear Peter muttering behind me as he was dialing Char. "Yeah, Baby I had to fly all the way up her to tell the jackass to talk to his woman....I know...I know."

Fucker.

I walked into the bedroom but didn't find Bella. I could hear water running in the bathroom and knocked. "It's me, can I come in?"

"Yeah."

Bella was in the tub, water still running, her hair piled up on top of her head, bubbles everywhere. I just looked at her for a long moment.

"God, you are so beautiful, darlin'."

She sniffled, her eyes welling up, threatening to spill over, past the already damp lids. Her eyes were so red, why hadn't I noticed that before?

I walked behind the tub and squirted the bath gel on the loofah and bent down to scrub her back.

"Bella, darlin' I am so sorry. I thought, I mean, it seemed like you needed time, like you weren't ready to talk. Every time you looked at me you would leave the room, you wouldn't come to bed with me. I thought you wanted space."

"Jasper, I thought you needed time, I thought you weren't feeling well, you were so weak and so...I thought you didn't want me after everything...."

"Bella, I love you more than anything in this world, how could you ever think that darlin'?"

'Oh Jasper, we really messed things up, didn't we?"

"Yeah, looks like we did, sugar. You really had to have Peter come out here?"

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Come here you." I leaned in to kiss her and took her cheeks in my hands. "I love you Bella, nothing will ever change that."

"I know cowboy, I am sorry I ever doubted. Baby we have to talk to each other; we can't shut each other out like this."

"You are right darlin', Bella I think we both need to go talk to someone, maybe Rose could get us some names?"

"Yeah, I think that would be a good idea, I'll ask her. I love you Jasper."

My lips met hers and the kiss moved from fast pecks to a passionate locking of lips and tongues quickly. Her hands pulling me closer, wrapping around my neck, I clung to her like she would disappear if I let go. The tub in our way, I toed off my boots and climbed in on top of her fully clothed. I couldn't have cared less; there was no way I was letting go of her again.

An hour later we heard Peter yell from the hallway, "I'll be in the guest house asshole." We burst out laughing.

"I love your brother."

"Yeah, he's okay."

A/N

It can't all be roses and chocolate now can it? Don't fret; they are on their way, just some adjustments and fine tuning like every new relationship. Thanks for all the song recs, I have some tough selections to make, but a great new playlist, LOL.