January 26, 2011
Dear Diary,
Day 1 of shopping for Natalie Kabra.
Disaster. Complete Disaster.
At least Nellie was there but we only had to go to one store to get hers. Do you know what she got Eisenhower? A hundred-dollar gift certificate to McDonalds. Classic. I was busting up my brains laughing when she was asking about that in McDonalds.
And do you know what I bought?
Nothing.
First we went to Prada, as if they sell anything below a hundred dollars, and we got kicked out because there was a woman there with a stupid yapping dog and that dog wouldn't shut up and it was already giving me a headache so I placed it inside one of the biggest Prada bags and closed the zipper.
Then we went to a bookstore where we got kicked out again. I saw a book there, How to make Paper Airplanes and I started laughing so hard because who would seriously write a book like that? And the manager thought I was laughing at him so…I got kicked out.
Third, We went to the nail polish section where the minute I entered the store, I tripped over the security guard's enormous feet and accidentally pushed the fire alarm button. People were panicking until the store manager settled them down by explaining what had happened over the PA System. But I still got kicked out.
And since it was already about 5:00 pm, Nellie forced me to go home without buying anything since she still had to make dinner.
Curse you, Uncle Fiske
With all the lovey-dovey love I can muster,
Dan