Chop Suey by System of a Down

I should have told her sooner, or something. I don't know what to do. I feel so panicked driving the streets of Tokyo. My fears of her not accepting me after I told her the truth were all right. She disappeared. And she left her keys on the table this morning. Is she ok? Worst case scenarios were running through my mind, some of them including Reino the stalker or Fuwa or ambulances. What should I have done? It was hard to think over the pounding in my chest.

Did she hate how I practically killed her childhood fantasy? Did I not live to her expectations of Corn or of Kuon, Kuu's son? Did I break her trust for keeping this from her so long? Would she ever talk to me again knowing all of the horrible things I've done and the people I've hurt? Especially my parents. I had loving parents where she never did and I practically threw them away with my suicide of Hizuri Kuon to become self-righteous Tsuruga Ren. How could she not hate me after hearing that?

I can't blame her entirely for running so abruptly. I ran away from myself, too. But I love her too much to let her stay away and let my fears intercede. I can't let myself get in the way anymore. I need to find her. I need to at least know she safe. But it would be better if she still spoke to me, too.

I went to the Daruma-ya, I went to LME. I called Yashiro and Yoriko-san. I asked the President. I asked Sawara-san. I tried the sets of some of her current projects. I checked her school. I even asked Fuwa Sho's manager if she had known where she was.

I was running out of places to look. I must have turned a few heads with the way I was walking and searching for her. Everyone in entertainment in Tokyo must know that I'm looking for Kyoko at this point, who else got me worked up like she did? In my entire career in Japan, she is the only one I've demonstrated serious interest, so of course she is the one that forces me out of my 'perfect gentleman' self.

I thought I might find her in a park between LME and my apartment, but I couldn't find her anywhere there either. I was sure she would be here if no where else. She loves the outdoors too much. Her and her silly fantasies haven't changed a bit. But I doubt that I get to see her drift of into her own world like that again...

Think, Ren, think! Where on Earth could she be?

I collapsed onto a nearby park bench with my head in my hands. I heaved a sigh of frustration. The chains that I believed that I had shed last night started to constrict my chest all over again. I was a fool to think that I could be forgiven and move on so easily. The fates must be toying with me and having their fill of laughter today.

Maybe my scars were too deep and too ugly for her to accept. She thought that Mio was pitiful and that she felt sad for her. She understands the depth of emotional scars like hers. She understands that Corn was trying to get away from his father's shadow. I was only trying to get away from my father's epically successful name. After I left and never contacted them, I thought they would hate me. I thought he and Mom would disown me for leaving so abruptly and without ever considering how they felt. I thought I would be forsaken. I fully believed that my suffocating and loving parents could become coldhearted after separating myself from them for 5 years. I truly believed that since I never heard from either of them, that my assumptions of their severance of me were true.

Then Father came here. They still love me. He showed me through Kyoko they still love their child. Kyoko who only played as me for a few hours knew how much they love me. And how much I love them in return. But Kyoko said how much she loved acting as Kuon…

Kyoko…

"Where are you, Kyoko? I didn't mean to scare you…"

"Ren…?" I jerked my head up at that voice I always long to hear, now more than ever. I saw those beautiful eyes before me. Maybe the fates didn't hate me so much. Maybe they've finally seen how far I would go for her, how desperate I am for her. I'm fairly certain my desperation shone in my eyes.

"You're okay, I was so worried…"

I leapt up and was about to embrace her caught myself. Did she reject me? She did call me Ren… At least it wasn't Tsuruga-san, or nothing at all. Only she can make my face show every expression like she does. I can hardly control myself around her. I held my breath for what seemed like forever. Then her arms encircled my waist and her head rested on my chest. I hugged her back. My eyes slipped closed in relief of having her back in my arms. After everything I told her, she's still here. I could only manage a whisper.

"I thought I lost you…" In more ways than one, Kyoko.

"I'm sorry, it was just so much to think about. Everything made sense last night, but when I woke up this morning, this whole new part of you and the thought of three different people in my life are actually one was just so... overwhelming... So I decided to take a walk and try to put together all the pieces. I didn't mean to worry you." Her words felt distant. Even with her arms around me it felt I was losing her. I kept her in my arms and my eyes closed. I feared what I would see in her eyes.

"Kyoko, I'm sor-" she cut me off.

"Please, you already apologized after you told me everything.* I understand why you didn't tell me before." Was she shutting me out? Was I going to be another Fuwa Sho to her? My chest ached at the thought. The silence grew between us along with the anxiety of her distancing herself from me. I hardly heard her next words.

"Do you still love me?" My mind whirled in confusion. Was that what she was concerned about? I pulled back to look in her eyes.

"Yes, I love you and always will love you. Nothing can change that. And shouldn't I be the one asking that?" I smiled sadly.

"But Ren loves me, what about Kuon or Corn?" Concern filled her eyes.

"Those are all me, Kyoko. And I love you. Every bit of me loves you. Corn fell in love with that cute little girl in the woods. That's why he gave her his little blue stone so she would feel better and remember him. And Kuon refused to stay buried under the guise of Tsuruga Ren whenever you came around. And unlike everyone else, you always can tell when I'm not in Ren's character. It was hard being a perfect gentleman around you. Kuon always wanted to tell you how he felt. How I feel about you." She still seemed unconvinced.

"Do I need to say it again? I love you, Kyoko. I can keep saying it all day, if you'd like. I can tell you I love you into the night if you need me to in order to convince you." My voice dropped back to a whisper. "I'd like to keep saying it as long as you'll let me, Kyoko…" That seemed to do it. I'll never get tired of seeing her smile like that. I lifted a hand to brush her cheek.

I know she still gets embarrassed by public displays of affection, but I couldn't help but kissing her there. I don't think she minded too much this time, since I was the one that had to stop us from getting carried away. It was a good thing that no one was in this part of the park, either. Otherwise we'd have to exercise more caution in planning dates in the next few weeks. That seemed to be in order with how she's responding to this kiss.

After we pulled apart, I saw her dream-laden face switch to a thoughtful expression.

"What about your parents? Does this mean I can't have them anymore?" Her brow wrinkled in the most innocent and concerned expression. If I ever let her get away, that would probably be the one thing that my parents would ever consider disowning me for.

"I would love to share my parents with you." Her smile was enough to light up a thousand nights as bright as day. I will never admit that I am jealous that my father got to her heart before I did. Or that my parents can make her smile like this. I just have to deal with it, so long as I'm the one that has the biggest place in her heart.

"How about we get some breakfast?" I learned a while ago that she can't say no if I offer to eat a nutritious meal with her, especially breakfast. I'd love to have breakfast every day with her. It'd be even better if she made it or if she was making it after she stayed the night…

"Mmm!" She nodded. I smiled fully. I'm glad she can see me smile like that now without running away. Apparently the more angry I am, the brighter I smile, which is something she picked up on, but she couldn't handle the real thing. That's what I get for falling in love with a Love Me girl.

I turned and slid my fingers in her hand as we started walking out of the park. It was a few moments before she spoke again. I snuck a peek over at her and she was silently stewing over something until she broke the comfortable silence.

"You're really blond?" I glanced again down at her quizzical expression. I grinned and nodded.

"I guess that makes sense, then you'd really look like Otou-san. I'm surprised I didn't put that together." Me too, especially how she could recognize me behind Cain Heel. Silence continued on comfortably until her hand jerked out of my own.

"You!" What? What just happened? Never is straightforward with her, is it? We were happy and nothing was wrong anymore, not that anything was really wrong in the first place. Then the next thing I know is that she's going to accuse me of something outrageous. I will never understand a thing that goes through her head. But that's fine, since it's one of the things I love about her...

"That's why you were laughing!" I was what? When? She always has me on my toes!

"When I showed you Corn after your acting test for the President, you laughed when I was talking about Corn being a fairy prince! You thought it was funny I believed you all this time!

"That's what you're concerned about?" I thought it was something much worse. I was struggling not to laugh at the memory again. And I was panicking that she was going to actually run on me.

"Ugh! You're so... mean!" She shoved my chest lightly and started walking off. I was actually laughing now. She wasn't truly angry, she having difficulty forcing a scowl on her face. Which was even more amusing and cute.

"Kyoko-chan! I didn't have the heart to correct you! You looked so happy when you were talking about fairies! I didn't want you to cry anymore." She kept walking off in a huff. I was still trying to stifle my amusement. I decided to catch up with her, which someone with my height could do rather easily. But I'm not entirely sure that I could catch her if she really wanted to outrun me…

"Kyoko…?" I got to her. She still was having a hard time keeping an angry face on. My heart swelled knowing that for someone that knew how to be angry and stay angry so easily had a hard time staying mad at me. It was relieving.

"Kyoko, all of the times that you spoke about Corn without knowing that it was me gave me hope. You believed in my own abilities, you believed I could succeed even when I didn't think I would. I also dared to hope that I could find a place in your heart…" She finally looked into my eyes with that glittering look that she always has when she's in her own fantasy world. I hoped that she possibly saw in me a place where her dreams and reality could coexist**.

"Ren… Kuon…" Her face twisted. "I don't know what to call you now." Her pouts were the cutest.

"'Yours?'" I offered hopefully. You'd think as an actor, I could come up with a better line. She has that effect on me, to make me forget all about acting, or rather, everything. Yet that is the only thing I really wanted, I wanted to be hers.

Her face split into a grin.

"Okay... Actually, what about 'My fairy prince?'" She picked up my hand again to resume our walk to breakfast. I tried fixing my face before we got to the restaurant to something a bit more reasonable for public. I was too blissful from her accepting everything about me. And the thought of being hers, even as her fairy prince if that's what I can be for her, how could I not smile?

A/N: I know it's shorter, but you just got an update!

*I forgot that I didn't have Ren apologize in the last chapter. But it's in there now!

**And notice my not-so-subtle hint at Turned to Real Life. I think I might just go back and read that again. I really liked that story.

Huh, interesting thought: In this situation after accepting his past self, what does Ren call himself? I certainly hope not Corn...