A/N: As with every chapter, this is dedicated to my BFF, theladyingrey42. Thank you to ahizelm for the beta-work and Miss-Beckie-Louise for keeping my Brits honest.

And with two Jasper chapters earlier, you had to figure on two Edward chapters, right? If not, well, surprise!

The Setting: London, England

The Music: Evaporated, Ben Folds Five

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EPOV

I step under the hot water and roll my neck from side to side, willing the tension from my shoulders. Today was a long day: two car accidents with multiple injuries were rushed in around the same time, making for a very chaotic emergency room and, although I tried to help, I felt I was in the way more than I should be. I found myself assisting one of the doctors with two little girls that were scared and only mildly injured. Their parents were in serious condition, both having surgery and I sat with the girls until other family members arrived.

The doctor praised my dedication to the patients and how much I helped, but I felt like I wasn't dealing with the really important things.

He clapped his hand on my shoulder and looked me straight in the eye. "Sometimes, Edward, just caring is the most important thing. Anyone can do the medicine."

I left the emergency room after my shift with a slightly lighter heart but, after the adrenaline wore off, the tension between my shoulders could no longer be ignored.

With the water pounding on my back, I focus instead on the upcoming night. The interns are a close group, partly by necessity and partly because of common backgrounds and goals. The night should be interesting and I'm looking forward to some fun and getting to know them in a non-hospital setting.

Stepping out of the shower, I dry off quickly before wrapping a towel around my waist and walking into the locker room to finish getting ready. I pull on a pair of jeans and a black button-down shirt, getting them on before even trying to deal with my hair.

Alec and Felix are almost ready when I finally decide there's nothing I can really do to tame the mess on top of my head. We pick up the girls at their locker room and take taxis downtown to this amazing Irish pub. We find a large table and Alec orders a round of Guinness while we peruse the menus.

When the waitress returns with our beer, we order dinner and I get the Irish stew. Alec raises his glass and we all follow suit.

"To Edward finally being social," he says with a large grin. I shrug my shoulders and everyone chuckles as "Cheers" is echoed by all.

We chat about everything and nothing, studiously avoiding anything to do with work and I find myself relaxing and truly enjoying myself. I'm about halfway through my second pint of Guinness, when Alec's face lights up and he waves to a small group of people that just entered the pub. A slight girl in the front smiles and waves back before leading three other people over to our table.

"Hey Kate!" Alec greets her warmly while standing to gesture they should join us. "I'm so glad you could make it."

I scoot over on the bench to make room, and a tall, muscular guy with dirty blonde hair, clear grey eyes and a nice smile sits next to me.

"Hi, I'm Garrett," he says while offering me his hand.

"E-Edward," I answer, trying not to notice how nice he smells as I shake his hand.

The waitress arrives and, as he turns to place his order, I notice the slight stubble along his strong jaw. Instantly, I'm reminded of Jasper. I turn my eyes forward and take a long pull off my pint, ignoring the slight tightening of my trousers.

I cannot think about Jasper tonight, I want to have fun with my friends and not turn into the morose bastard I am most of the time.

After placing their orders, the newcomers all make introductions and I learn that Alec and Kate are old friends that regularly frequent this pub. We all settle into friendly conversation and I find myself drawn into an engaging topic of discussion by Garrett.

Music.

He's a music teacher at a local grammar school and enjoys inspiring the next generation of musicians. Soon we are debating the merits of requiring music education for children and how music can affect a child's growth mentally and emotionally.

I'm so engrossed in the conversation that I don't notice how close he's become until he grazes my arm with his hand. Startled, I look up into his face, his clear eyes gazing determinedly into mine. He reaches again with his hand and deliberately brushes his fingers along my thigh.

"Um, yeah, bar. I'll be back," I stammer before rising quickly and almost running to the bar at the back of the restaurant.

I lean against the bar, my elbows on the worn wood and my hands in my hair. What the fuck just happened?

Garrett is obviously flirting with me. He's great to talk to and, honestly, not too bad to look at either. So, why am I freaking out? Why do I feel like I'm betraying Jasper somehow?

I look up as the bartender approaches and I ask for another stout. She brings it over quickly and I pay and thank her before sitting at the bar. I think I have a couple minutes at least before someone comes looking for me, and I need to get my head on straight. A moment passes before I feel a warm press against the small of my back and I close my eyes with a soft sigh. Turning on my stool, I take in Garrett's lean form again and the deep concern in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, man. I must have read the situation wrong."

"No, don't feel bad, Garrett." I laugh somewhat too loudly. "I was probably sending some pretty mixed signals."

Garrett smiles and steps toward me. "Does that mean I wasn't wrong?"

He's so close, I can feel the warmth of him through my shirt, can almost taste him in the air. And it's good. But it only causes a deep ache in my chest because the one I want is so far away. I close my eyes and get lost in the image of Jasper for a second before I'm startled by the feeling of warm breath against my cheek.

I open my eyes just as Garrett closes his and leans into me, his lips grazing the corner of mine.

Standing abruptly, I knock over the stool and mumble half-apologies as I bolt for the door. Once outside in the cool night, I gulp the air but can't seem to stop the wave of dizziness and nausea that sweeps through me. I feel the lingering heat from his mouth on my skin and it's just wrong.

I feel guilty and anxious and confused and excited.

I want something more, but I want it with Jasper. I want to feel him against me. I want to see him every day, and our situation now is just torture.

I can't keep this up. There has to be a change; either I need more or I need to stop talking to Jasper altogether. What we have now is either too much or it's not enough.

More importantly, I need him right now. I hail a cab and soon I am racing up the stairs to my flat to the seclusion of my room and the bright screen of my laptop. As Skype opens, I send a quick prayer to anyone who's listening that Jasper is online.

Luckily, he is and I call him immediately, hitting the video request so I can see him as well.

"Hey, man. Didn't think I'd be talking to you tonight," he begins as the video opens and I can finally see him. He's lounging on his bed, the computer obviously on his legs as he lies back against the headboard.

I can tell the moment he can see me as well as he suddenly sits straight up and his voice is filled with concern. "What the hell happened to you, Edward? Are you alright?"

I glance down at the inset of myself, noticing my hair sticking out in every direction, my face is pale and my eyes look frightened.

Looking back at him, I nod slowly but can barely get the words out. "I've been better, Jasper."

"Weren't you out to dinner with the other interns? Did something happen?"

"No. Yeah. Oh bloody hell, I don't know." I grasp my hair in frustration. This is not how I wanted this conversation to go.

"I'm here Edward," comes Jasper's reassuring voice. "Just start at the beginning."

"Well, we all met at this Irish pub downtown. And Alec had invited a few other people I didn't know who joined us later. They all were nice and we were all talking."

Come on, Edward, just spit it out.

"One of the guys... Garrett... he's a music teacher and we were talking about music and how it benefits children." I pause, noticing Jasper nodding along at the story but giving me time to formulate my thoughts. I look down at my clenched fingers on my leg, remembering the slight brush of fingertips. "Then, he touched my thigh. And I ran, Jasper. I ran because I didn't know what to think, but he followed me. And then he kissed me." I hear a small gasp through the speakers, but I can't look up yet. I push myself to finish the story. "I didn't know what to do. I panicked and next thing I know I'm outside, hailing a cab so I could get home as quickly as possible and talk to you."

"Edward, please look at me." I look up and see the worry on his face, the grim set of his jaw. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know. The only thing in my head right now is that I almost got kissed tonight and I can't stop thinking about you."

"I know," is his only answer.

I sigh deeply, burying my hands in my hair again. "I don't know if I can keep doing this. I need more, Jasper, and you can't give me more. And this...this thing we have, it's not enough for me right now."

"I know," he repeats calmly. Has he been thinking the same things then? Is it not enough for him either?

"What can we do, Jasper? How do we fix this?"

There's a long pause and I look up into his anguished face.

"I don't know," comes his quiet reply and his brows crease with pain and concern.

We are silent for several minutes and I can feel overwhelming exhaustion starting to pull at me. The long day suddenly catches up to me, my 12-hour shift, the alcohol, the emotional roller coaster, and I can barely keep my eyes open.

"Listen," Jasper begins. "Go get some sleep. You're dead on your feet and we both need to sleep on this, I think."

I agree grudgingly, but I think he's right, too. At the pub, I was ready to make demands and ultimatums, but when faced with his voice, his doubts, my will to push crumbles before me.

I don't know what more we can say tonight. We haven't said a lot and we haven't resolved anything, but I hope something will be clearer in the morning. We say our goodbyes and promise to talk tomorrow until we both reluctantly end the call.

I stumble over to my bed and have one last image of Jasper's pained face before I thankfully fall into oblivion.

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