Chapter Eleven - This Way to Your Life

"Well, that was pretty good." I said as Casey and I walked out of the theater right after seeing I Am Number Four with super-hot Alex Pettyfer in it. And nothing romantic or awkward had happened between me or Casey yet. So that obviously meant he didn't like me in this New World. But that's okay. He may not have the same feelings for me as he once did, but just looking at his chocolatey eyes brings back all the great memories. By being in this New World for four weeks now, I have learned to accept the fact that I am never going back. I cry at night but I don't try to mope in the day. I try to swallow my tears and loneliness and live in the day. Make something out of Spring break. Did I mention it is already Spring break? My life seems to be flying by in this New World.

Casey nodded. "It actually was a cool movie." he blinked at me. "You okay? You seem out of it."

Ugh. If I got a dollar for every time someone asked me if I was "okay", I'd be richer than the McKenzes.

"I'm fine. Just thinking."

"About what? Me?" he grinned. "I know I'm just so cool like that."

"Legit." I said sarcastically as I rolled my eyes. Every time he seemed to get a little better, he messed it up by saying something dumb like that. The only good thing was his vain-ness has very greatly decreased in the past few weeks since I have met New Casey. At least he's trying to change.

"You know, you're pretty legit too." he said as he was walking me home. "I actually don't mind you anymore."

"Funny, because you've never said my name in your life. I don't even think you know it."

He stopped short. His eyes widened. "That's weird. I do know it. But every time I think of it, I feel like I've known you somewhere before. Sammy."

"Wait. What? What do you mean?"

"Sammy, I love you. Okay? I wish this didn't have to happen to you. I wish you would get better. Please. I...I really do love you."

"What?" I repeated. "You WHAT?"

Casey looked at me like I was crazy. "I said your name is Sammy and what number is your house?"

I shook my head, getting freaked out. "No. You said you loved me. And for me to get better. What does that mean? Why did you say it?" I demanded.

"Ummm..." he started laughing. "I never said any of those things. You have serious delusional problems. See a doctor." I could tell he wasn't lying about not saying that thing... But this has happened with me and Marissa too! A few weeks ago I was talking to New Marissa and she told me not to cry and to "wake up and everyone is waiting for me". Then when I asked her why she said it, she said she didn't know what I was talking about and that she had never said any of that. So why were these people saying things and then not remembering they ever said them?

"Just take me home." I said coldly to Casey. "I'm tired. And my house number is 1398."

He took me back home and when we were on my porch he faced me.

"Well thanks for coming tonight. I feel like I'm done owing you. That was our only and last date ever. But it was fun, so, yeah. Bye, now."

"Bye." I opened the door and entered the house. Then I went to sleep crying.

Missing my old Casey who would walk me to the bottom of the fire escape then kiss me and wait until I'm all the way up and safe before he left.

I missed the my old Casey who would joke, "Now I can't wait for next weekend!" instead of New Casey who said, "This is our ONLY date, ok?"

I just missed my old Casey. So, so much it hurt.

I wanted to go back home. More than anything, I missed the apartment and I missed sneaking down and up the fire escape and I missed being broke all the time and I missed the old Marissa and the old Casey and I missed Holly and Dot because in this New World, I had never even met them. Holly wasn't even at the Pup Parlor. And I'm pretty sure Dot didn't even go to William Rose Junior High. And I also missed Grams so, so much. And her oatmeal. Why did I miss her oatmeal so much? Most of all I missed my life. I missed being the raggedy, torn-up, informal, troublemaker I had been before. I missed being Sammy in my real life. This New World was killing me. My life was terrible. Before this, I had never even seen how lucky I was just to be surrounded by people who love me so much. And how much I loved them.

I wept into my pillow.

It's been weeks and there is no way out. But there has to...there has to be a way out.