Chapter Twelve - Sneaky Little Fly on the Wall

"She's not okay," my mother said on the phone. "She needs to see someone. A professional."

She listened a moment and then said, "I understand but I'm worried...Robert! Please listen. Don't you know anyone who could else?"

Robert was my mom's boyfriend. And by eavesdropping on a lot of her phone calls with him, I realized that he was one who had gotten Mom her job. What was her job? Who knew? And how she earned her money? Again, who knew? Robert was a good guy because I've met him and he's not like, a creeper or something but still.

Mom was telling him how I needed professional help. Because I cried every night. Because I was going crazy.

According to her, not to me.

Anyway listening to her phone conversation upset me even more. This wasn't even my real mom talking.

Suddenly I heard her say, "I just really hope she wakes up. Why did I have to upset her on her birthday? Why am I such a bad mother?" she started crying. "She never deserved this life. It's not her fault. Wake up, Samantha. Please wake up!" she was weeping now. "My little baby... My little daughter... My..."

Wait. WHAT? Wake up? Why was everyone saying that!

I ran down the stairs and jumped into the living room where she was sitting. But she was just sitting on the couch nibbling on a cookie (a cookie? Lana? Hmm...) and reading Reader's Digest. Since when did Mom read Reader's Digest?

She was not crying, or even looking like she had been crying. But just two seconds ago she had...

"Mom! Were you crying? I heard you crying about something about me waking up? I'm awake!" I waved my hands all over.

She looked at me. "Samantha, I never said anything about you waking up. And I was certainly not crying!"

I blinked at her. She was right. And the phone was too far from her for her have put it down before I jumped in on her. "Weren't you on the phone with Robert?"

"Um..." she looked nervous like I had heard her conversation (which I had, but I wasn't going to let her know that) and she said, "I was on the phone with him about five minutes ago. Why?"

"I heard him call. It was his ringtone soooooo..."

"Oh!" she lit up again. "Yes, I was talking with him. But I was not crying. At all. Why?"

"I really heard you cryi—" I stopped myself before she thought I was even more mental. "Never mind. I was joking. Ha-ha-ha. It was just a dream." I turned my back on her and went back upstairs making funny faces at myself to keep myself from screaming.

It was time to go be a fly on the wall somewhere else.

But where? Who did I need to spy on? Not Heather because she told me everything anyway. Not Marissa because there is nothing good she'd say. Or useful. Useful for me to get out of this hellhole.

Even though I knew I was never going to be able to get out. I was here forever. All because of a stupid wish.

A wish! I needed to wish myself back! Maybe that would work.

"I wish I was back!" I said aloud. "I wish was back in my real life." I waited. I said it ten more times. Nothing. Nada. Ugh.

"Sammy? Are you talking to yourself?" Mom called up.

Why did I keep doing stupid things in front of Mom that made me seem even more mentally insane? "I'm just practicing my Spanish homework out loud to pronounce the words!" I called back down. How do you say "worst excuse ever" in Spanish?

I sighed. Life sucked here. If I had a gun I'd have shot myself in the head by now. But I keep wondering if there is a way out. I needed to write things out all to organize my thoughts.

Random Thoughts to Organize

1. Marissa said "Stop crying and we are all waiting," to me and then denied it.

2. Marissa had a vision of her parents fighting.

3. Heather had a vision of her hating me.

4. Casey said whenever he thought of my name it reminded him of "something else".

5. Casey said he "loved me and to wake up" and then denied he said it.

6. Mom said she wanted me to "wake up" and then denied it.

So what did all these things mean?

Oh. My. God! How could I have been so stupid! "Wake up"! They keep telling me to "wake up"! So this is a dream? Or I'm dead? Or in a coma?

How will I ever get out? I've been in this Alternate World for about one month now. God, oh God. There needs to be another way.

Oh. My. God. Again! What if I've become a vegetable in real life and my whole body stopped functioning but my brain still works and I'm stuck in this world forever? I imagined myself as a tiny little person in the Real Sammy's head, running around and trying to get to I could be back into the real world.

Or maybe I was just dead. Maybe this is what happens when someone dies. Maybe I'm seriously stuck in here forever knowing the Real Sammy has died, and knowing that all the real people I used to know (not these new alternate ones) are out there grieving me somewhere. And here I am stuck in a world where they are here but are completely different.

Or maybe...I really am going mentally insane?