Chapter 15: Butterfly Magic
Jin Suo's jaw dropped upon seeing her guests but they were at least equally surprised to see her in her current position.
"What on earth are you two doing here?" Jin Suo asked. She didn't pay attention to how abrupt the question was after so many years of not seeing each other; she wasn't in any state to think rationally now. It was simply the first question that came into her mind as she recognised them.
"You are Liu Qing's wife?" Meng Dan asked, even more surprised.
Jin Suo just nodded mutely and waited for their answer.
"Wow," he just muttered quietly for a moment as both he and his wife let the revelation sink in. Jin Suo, meanwhile, sat down at their table. In her shock, she hardly noticed that Yang Yang had slipped off.
"This certainly a surprise," Jin Suo said. "We've quite despaired of ever seeing you again, especially when we found out you never went to Dali."
"Yes, that's a long story, but you are Liu Qing's wife?" Meng Dan said.
Jin Suo chuckled. "You asked me that already. And the answer is still yes."
"But I thought you were supposed to marry Er Kang?" Han Xiang pressed on.
Jin Suo just shook her head, smiling. "It would have been a disaster if I married Er Kang. But really, what are you two doing here? Did you end up going back to Xinjiang? And why? And - " The questions rushed out of her mouth before she realised that she was giving them no time to answer. She simply stopped mid-sentence and looked at them with wide, questioning eyes.
Han Xiang chuckled. "Oh my, there's a lot to catch up on, isn't there? To be honest, I can hardly believe I'm back here in Beijing either!"
For a moment, all three of them just sat in silence to let the fact that they were in front of each other to sink it. When they parted the last time, even though there were plans to meet up in Dali, they all knew in that long and ardous journeys, there were many things that could happen. They had been aware that it was possible that they might never see each other again. When Jin Suo and everyone else eventually came back to Beijing, they knew the chances of meeting Han Xiang and Meng Dan again were even slimmer. Er Kang and Zi Wei had come back from Yunnan years later, reporting that they had found no trace of their friends in Dali, so the hope had died altogether. Jin Suo could not believe that after all this time, they were before her again. It almost seemed like a dream. But then Han Xiang had always been so mysterious, so dream-like. It shouldn't be shocking, really, that she showed up like this.
The silence stretched on, not uncomfortably, until finally, Meng Dan spoke again. "Well, as to what we're doing here, we thought it was about time we went and visit you. It has been years, certainly and I'm sure so many things have happened on both ends. Hopefully we can stay here during our visit."
"Of course, of course!" Jin Suo exclaimed immediately. "Everyone would kill me if I let you stay anywhere else! How long are you staying?"
"Well that would depend on how long you would take us for, wouldn't it?" Meng Dan joked.
"Oh come now!" Jin Suo laughed. "I think you'd be sneaking out just to go if we have our say about it."
"Seriously, though, it would depend if everyone is in Beijing. Did the others make it to Dali?" Han Xiang asked.
"Well, not right then. It's really is a long long story. It really would take so long to explain everything that happened to us here after you left us!" Jin Suo shook her head as the events of the last twenty years reeled in her mind, and she couldn't think where to even start telling them of everything that had happened and was happening. "But you two - did you ever make it to Dali? What happened?"
"I suppose our story would be easier to tell than what's happened to all of you," Han Xiang mused. "Actually, it's quite simple, really."
"We were heading for Dali," Meng Dan began, "and really we had no intention of going back to Xinjiang at first, since as Er Kang said, and we agreed, that it would be quite dangerous for us to head that way. Actually our trip was surprisingly uneventful, no one actually paid attention to us along the way. Back then we were enormously relieved about this. We reached Sichuan and I don't know...we both got the idea to not carry on to Dali but double back and head towards Xinjiang. I'm not even sure now what brought that along, but it was like something was pulling us toward Xinjiang. Perhaps it was because despite of everything that was our home, but in the end, we could not resist it. So we abandoned Dali, feeling a bit worried at the beginning ourselves about what we would find in Xinjiang. But we reached Xinjiang pretty much without any trouble."
"For the first two years, we stayed low in Xinjiang, hidden from our families. Partly I didn't want to face my father and I was not sure whether he would accept our situation," Han Xiang said. "Then, after two years, my father died. My older brother took over as head of the tribe. Since my bother was never supportive of my father's decision to take me to Beijing. We ventured back to see our families then, also because I wanted to pay respect to my father. And that's it, really. My family was really happy to have me back, actually, though admittedly a little shock at what we went through."
"Why can't our lives be that simple?" Jin Suo sighed. "Well, here at Hui Bin Lou there isn't much happening per se, but when you know how Xiao Yan Zi and Zi Wei are, things just happen to them."
"No kidding," Han Xiang chuckled. "In fact, when we started out on this trip, Meng Dan actually suggested taking precautions in case something happen. Like coming up with an escape plan ready in case someone should face execution again...or bringing a whole load of ding xiang wan in case someone ends up dying."
Jin Suo reaction to this was not what either of them expected. Her head jerked up violently and she stiffened, staring at them with wide eyes.
"What?" Han Xiang exclaimed, her voice suddenly full of panic. "I was kidding - "
Jin Suo was drawing breathless gasps and couldn't speak for a moment, but just continued to stare at them. It was too good to be true, wasn't it? Was Han Xiang's sudden presence not a coincidence? It couldn't be, not in a situation like this! Was she sent by some higher power…
"Jin Suo?" Meng Dan cried, shaking her arm a little when she failed to respond in any other way than just staring at them.
"Do you - " Jin Suo started to say breathlessly. She tried to take a deep breath, both to calm herself and to keep from frightening the other two. She didn't allow herself to hope yet, it might just be a throwaway statement that meant nothing. "Do you - do you have - some ding xiang wan with you?"
"Yes but what's wrong?"
Air rushed back up Jin Suo's throat, nearly choking her and she hardly heard anything after the first confirmation. She shook her head slightly, speaking to herself, "No, no, I shouldn't get hopes up, I should not get their hopes up - but - "
"Jin Suo, what is it?" Meng Dan asked insistently as nothing she was saying was making much sense. "You're babbling."
Jin Suo suddenly looked up at them with an intense look and said urgently, not wanting to explain, not wanting to waste time. "You have to come with me to Xue Shi Fu!"
Xue Shi Fu seemed even more silent than usual when they arrived. Jin Suo did not know, when she rushed Meng Dan and Han Xiang out of Hui Bin Lou, hurriedly giving them an abridged explanation on the way, whether their arrival would make any difference. She had last visited Xue Shi Fu and everyone there just the day before, and then things were not looking hopeful; she doubted it was much more so now. Was she only raising everyone's hopes unnecessarily then to disappoint everyone, most painfully so for Xiao Yan Zi and Yong Qi? But could she not take this hope when miracles had happened before and both Han Xiang and Zi Wei had lived after all but being declared dead?
Jin Suo did not doubt that Xiao Yan Zi and Yong Qi would be willing to do anything now to save their daughter, but she let her mind wander for a moment to consider the pain a disappointed hope would bring. How could they possibly bear such a let down? But, Jin Suo mused, what did they have but feeble hopes now, when all was but lost? They would take the chance, she was sure, since even if it did not work, it was not as if it would hurt any less if they did not try.
For Han Xiang and Meng Dan, the extremely shortened version of events that Jin Suo told them was already enough for them to still in stunned silence. All this had happened? How was it possible that things of such magnitude could happen? But then again, how could they not, with Xiao Yan Zi around?
The journey to Xue Shi Fu was not long, but all along it, Jin Suo desperately prayed that they would not arrive a few minutes too late. It would only be too like Heaven to play such a trick on them.
The three of them met Ying Zhong in the courtyard just as they were hurrying into the house. The servants were far too used to Jin Suo to consider informing their master of a visitor, especially considering everything else that was going on in the house. Besides, Jin Suo could well find her own way around.
"Aunt Jin Suo," Ying Zhong exclaimed upon seeing her. "We were not expecting you."
Jin Suo didn't answer that but asked breathlessly. "How is Ru Yi?"
Ying Zhong's expression darkened. "How could she be?"
"But she is alive?" Jin Suo pressed fearfully.
"Just," Ying Zhong said softly.
Jin Suo let herself have a moment to let out a breath. Hope. There was still hope, even if it was just barely.
"Come," Jin Suo beckoned Ying Zhong, Meng Dan and Han Xiang to walk with her. "We might be able ..."
She trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud, just in case it didn't work.
Ying Zhong looked like he wanted to ask about Jin Suo's companions, especially when she made no sign of introducing them. But Jin Suo gave him a look that told of the sense of urgency and he kept his questions for later, focusing now on just leading them to where Ru Yi was.
They went into the room to find most the family there along with Hu Tai yi, around Ru Yi's bed, who was unconscious.
Zi Wei who was standing at the window, noticed them first, just as they stepped into the courtyard.
"Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed. "Han Xiang! Meng Dan!"
At the names of two people they hadn't seen in years, Xiao Yan Zi and Yong Qi were distracted enough from Ru Yi to wheel around and stare at them in shock. Jin Suo, on the other hand, didn't give them much time to immerse in their amazement. She only blurted out, being rather breathless, "Ding xiang wan."
It was the magic word, really, as Zi Wei, Xiao Yan Zi and Yong Qi turned to stare at her instead. Meanwhile, the children who were around them in the room looked utterly confused.
"Ding xiang wan?" Xiao Yan Zi whispered, sounding like she did not dare to believe what she just heard. She turned and looked at Han Xiang with a wild kind of hope. Normally her eyes were large enough but now they were positively enormous; and she was gasping for breath. Yong Qi clenched his hands into fists to stop them shaking and just looked at Han Xiang searchingly with piercing eyes.
Han Xiang reached into her pocket and drew out a small bottle containing the pills. If it was any other situation, she would have thought it funny how their eyes followed her hands, and how they all drew a collective breath at seeing the bottle. Xiao Yan Zi gave a strangled cry, threw her arms around Han Xiang and broke down in tears on her shoulders. It was so unlike the bubbly Xiao Yan Zi that Han Xiang remembered that it took her a moment to react. She could only hug Xiao Yan Zi tightly and pat her back.
Yong Qi, meanwhile, was still staring at her hand, until he slowly drew his eyes up and met hers. His gaze was intense, desperate, so that it almost scared her. It was as if he could not believe what he was seeing and was begging her to tell him that what she had in her hands would save his daughter. And she wished she could tell him, tell them, that for sure. But she couldn't, she knew she couldn't. She could only nod at him over Xiao Yan Zi's shoulder and handed the bottle to him.
For Yong Qi, it was shock enough to see Han Xiang and Meng Dan appear seemingly out of nowhere, but for them to offer one last ray of hope was something he did not dare to believe. Though he took the bottle from Han Xiang, he didn't dare hope too much, he didn't dare think that anything could change when for the last day when he was so sure that nothing would change the fact that he was losing Ru Yi.
The wooden bottle felt cool in his trembling hand, and he turned it over in his palm, breathing deeply, wondering if he could actually do this. He realised then, that whatever courage he could boast to have once, he did not have then. He knew what the contents of this bottle had done once. But would it work again? Dare he make that move and wait for that moment of truth? Dare he not?
His hands were shaking so that he could not do much with the tiny bottle anyway. It was Zi Wei who finally took it from his hand and opened it. His eyes followed his sister's every move, as she took from it one single round pill, encased in wax.
Could this tiny thing save Ru Yi, save them all?
As he looked at it, he had to wonder how it was that they appeared now, of all time. He desperately hoped that Han Xiang and the ding xiang wan's sudden arrival was indeed a blessing. But it would just be like Heaven's contrary ways to dangle this hope in front of them, only to snatch it away, like a cat playing with the mouse before killing it. If it was indeed a blessing, however, why was it that all their saviour came at the last moment, after all the agony? Or did it all just happen, no rhyme or reason, no blessing or curse, nothing Just like water flowing along a river.
Zi Wei broke open the wax coating of the pill. The sweet aroma filled the room. Yong Qi wondered if this scent would come back to suffocate him later.
"Just one, Zi Wei," Han Xiang said softly as Zi Wei put it in Ru Yi's mouth. "It's made out of poison, not sugar."
"We gave you four," Zi Wei said, looking up in surprise.
"Yes, and it's a wonder how I didn't die of overdose instead."
Xiao Yan Zi had released Han Xiang and stepped over by Yong Qi's side and slipped her hand into his, holding it tightly. He turned slightly to look at her. Their eyes meet, and he could see, like him, she was trying to fight the hopes battling to shine in her eyes, because hoping now seemed like too much, they could not risk it. Hoping would mean their hopes would be dashed. Perhaps if they could convince themselves to not hope, their hopes would come true.
Nothing would surprise Hu Tai yi anymore. Nothing. In fact, he thought the only thing that would surprise him now would be if Ru Yi Xiao jie did not wake up and recover.
The scandal of Xiang Fei disappearing all those years ago had been carefully shushed up but that didn't stop anyone with brains to put some bits and pieces together, considering Huang Shang sent his two most beloved daughter to execution soon after the 'death' that led to frankly a whole host of trouble. In fact, no one was more aware than the physicians that Xiang Fei did not die. Even if a person did just drop dead, the physicians would be summoned to try to determine the cause of death. They were never summoned. In fact, he was only summoned to attend to Wu Ah Ge in prison, who was supposedly dying but it was immediately clear to anyone with the remotest medical knowledge that he was faking. Not that Hu Tai yi could blame him. Why shouldn't he want to get out of prison?
He had almost forgotten all that, and pushed the incident to the back of his mind, as a memory of the many bizarre things that happened in the palace. But now, Xiang Fei had unexpectedly appear again, and could be the one to do what he, in all his experience, had failed and save Ru Yi Xiao jie.
He knew as a physician, he should never let any of his patient take any medication if he didn't know what went into making that medication in the first place. Precisely because of this, he should never let Ru Yi Xiao jie take the ding xiang wan, no matter how many lives it had saved before. After all, one cannot just blindly prescribe medication to all sundry illnesses just because it happened to cure another illness. He knew if Wu Ah Ge was thinking straight, he would have the same reservation. But, really, by now, why did it even matter? If any of them dared to have a hope, this was it. He certainly could not give them any.
So he only retreated into a corner and didn't protest. In fact, he was sure everyone else had forgotten he was in the room.
"So now we wait?" Jin Suo asked.
"We wait," Zi Wei affirmed.
"How long?" Xiao Yan Zi asked.
"I don't know," Han Xiang answered softly.
"Hu Tai yi!" Zi Wei gasped. Yong Qi would have been amused at this exclamation that had little to do with the current conversation if the situation wasn't so tense and if it wasn't so dangerous that Hu Tai yi now knows about Han Xiang's continued existence and they would had preferred to keep it a secret from him.
All six of them turned to look at Hu Tai yi warily, who was looking very defensive.
"Perhaps we could talk outside?" Yong Qi said after a thick silence, gesturing towards the door. If there were times when he was grateful for his birthrights, it was then. Hu Tai yi of course recognised the suggestion was not so much a suggestion as an order.
"I suppose it pays now, to be a prince," Zi Wei said ironically.
"Technically he doesn't have the right to order anyone anything anymore," Xiao Yan Zi said.
"Technicality has nothing to do with it," Zi Wei answered. "Hu Tai yi is intelligent enough to know his place and Yong Qi's position. And Yong Qi can certainly play the part again when needed."
Xiao Yan Zi just smiled wryly. Instead of commenting, she turned to Han Xiang and Meng Dan and asked, "What on earth are you two doing here?"
"I think the question they want to ask is who are they?' Jin Suo said, nodding to their children.
Zi Wei and Xiao Yan Zi turned and it was as if they only just realised the children were in the room. Xiao Yan Zi groaned. "I can't do this right now. I cannot give this explanation right now. Why do our lives have to be so complicated?"
The corner of Zi Wei's mouth twitched while Jin Suo turned away to hide an obvious smile. "You always have a flare for melodrama, Xiao Yan Zi," Jin Suo said.
"And you always state the obvious," Xiao Yan Zi shot back.
Zi Wei just shook her head and briefly explained to the children who Meng Dan and Han Xiang were. By that time, Yong Qi had returned.
"What did you do to Hu Tai yi?" Zi Wei asked.
"Nothing. I simply told him he is not to tell anyone what happened here today and if - when - Huang Ah Ma has to know, we will be the ones to tell him."
"Oh, we have to tell Huang Ah Ma..." Xiao Yan Zi groaned softly.
"Yes, but let's not worry about that now," Zi Wei said.
The wait long and torturous and none of them had the strength to keep a pretense of conversation going on. When she looked back on it later, Zi Wei would marvel at how still they all were in that room that morning. It was as if they all feared that if they moved too much, hope would slip through their fingers like fine silk threads. She wondered that Xiao Yan Zi and Yong Qi didn't just burn Ru Yi under their gazes, as hard as they were staring at her. They were distracted only briefly by the arrival of lunch, which none of them really wanted, though Zi Wei did try to coax everybody into having some.
Xiao Yan Zi really didn't know how she ever did manage to wait out those hours that it took for the ding xiang wan to take effect. The minutes and hours melted together until, finally, a long last, Ru Yi's face regained some colour. At first, Xiao Yan Zi wasn't sure whether she was staring too hard at her and imagined that or it had really happened. She didn't have the courage to move from the foot of the bed where she was standing, gripping the bed post, to check. Yong Qi was holding her hand throughout it all and only the increased pressure from his hand alerted to her that he, too, might have noticed the subtle change in Ru Yi. If it wasn't for this sign from him, she would had been convinced that she imagined it, because she didn't want to get her hopes up that there had been a change.
She could hear him inhale deeply before sitting down at the edge of Ru Yi's bed to check on her. To Xiao Yan Zi, his every movement seemed agonisingly slow. The anticipation was like an enormous weight on her chest, trapping air from her, making every breath painful. She wanted him to tell her of any positive change to Ru Yi's condition immediately, if not sooner, but at the same time, she dreaded that the bad news might come too soon.
"Her fever's dropped. Her pulse is stable," Yong Qi said at long last. His voice was shaky, as if he could not believe it himself.
The curtain of glood and the weight of the worry seemed to lift at once, and it made Xiao Yan Zi feel dizzy. She gripped the bed post even harder to try and steady herself. There was a rush of air as everyone in the room let out shaky, relieved breaths.
Ru Yi had not yet moved, nor made any sign of waking up, but she would recover. She really would recover! For Xiao Yan Zi, that was more assurance than she had these entire few months of worrying about all her children. Xiao Yan Zi was not prone to fainting, it was a weakness that she didn't want to succumb to too often, if at all, but at that moment, if it wasn't for Zi Wei gripping her arm tightly she would have collapsed from the sheer relief. It took her a moment to regain control of her body to walk over to where Han Xiang was. She reached out and engulfed Han Xiang in a hug that spoke volume of her gratitude and let her tears silently soak Han Xiang's shoulder.
Through out all this, Ying Zhong found himself watching Ji Xiang. Was it because he nearly killed her the first time they met, or was it something elsse that made him so always aware of her? He found himself attuned to her every change in mood and feelings whenever she was in the room, and he found that he wanted to know what she was feeling. For the entire day, he couldn't help share her agitations over Ru Yi. Now, he could see clearly how her eyes lighted up in relief, and how they shined through the glittering unshed tears. Despite the situation, for a moment, Ying Zhong found himself lost in that startlingly beautiful sight.
Though it might escape her parents' notice, it didn't escape her twin's notice that Ying Zhong was staring at Ji Xiang. Jian Jun wasn't exactly unfamiliar with the fact that his sister tended to attract male attention but Ying Zhong's attention drew his own notice more significantly. He couldn't help feeling a rush of over-protectiveness for Ji Xiang, though she would not be happy with him if she knew he still indulged in such feelings for her. Ji Xiang always hated the idea that she needed protection from someone who was only four minutes older than her. She would always put up a struggle whenever Jian Jun tried to even talk about being her saviour. Jian Jun had then learnt to keep his protective thoughts of her to himself if he didn't want to get into an argument with her, but that didn't stop him feeling them nonetheless. It wasn't that he thought Ji Xiang was incapable of taking care of herself, but he could not help it.
So it was odd to find Ying Zhong looking at Ji Xiang. As recently as he had met Ying Zhong, Jian Jun had to admit he hadn't found anything to dislike about Ying Zhong yet. Considering their parents' relationship, Jian Jun suspected he would not be able to find many reasons to object to Ying Zhong, but that didn't make it any more disconcerting that Ying Zhong was looking at Ji Xiang.
Jian Jun shook himself and tried to push the feelings aside. After all, right now wasn't the time worry about that yet. Ru Yi was the more pressing matter now.
As fleeting as all these observations were, Zi Wei witnessed it all, and for the first time that day she felt the urge to chuckle, though she managed to hide it. It strangely reminded her of when they were all falling in love.
Zi Wei smiled to herself. That her son would (and obviously did) find Ji Xiang attractive, she wasn't surprised about. She wasn't surprised at Jian Jun's slightly concerned expression either. Yet despite this encouraging advancement of Ying Zhong's attraction, and despite of what she and Er Kang had agreed to with Xiao Yan Zi and Yong Qi years ago, she knew they needed more than a dazed look for her to even begin to consider the possibility that they might have a future together. She would, of course, love to have Ji Xiang as a daughter-in-law, but even if Ying Zhong's feelings did develop to more than a simple attraction, Zi Wei had a feeling Ji Xiang would be as clueless as Xiao Yan Zi had been about any tender feelings directed at her.
This would certainly be interesting. After all this situation with Ru Yi was over (and hopefully with a happy ending) she would have to really talk to Yong Qi and Xiao Yan Zi about it.
Yong Qi and Xiao Yan Zi were unaware of all this, being more preoccupied with Ru Yi for the time being. But Yong Qi, after further examination, was able to confirm for sure that Ru Yi now much better and would definitely recover. The only thing to do now was to wait for her to awaken, which she surely would do. The confirmation of good news felt like a blast of sunshine after days of nothing but bad news for everyone.
They all allowed themselves to savour this relief for a moment, until a servant came in and announced that Qian Long was arriving at the gate. The news sent a sudden wave of panic among them all, though they all tried to hide it. It would do them all well to be able to keep their wits about them to talk their way out of this coming disaster. There seemed little other choice of how else to deal with the situation, they would have to tell Qian Long the truth. Ru Yi had made a surprising miraculous recovery, after all, and nothing but the truth would convince Qian Long now of how that came about. So they needed to be calm for their friends' sake, because both Han Xiang and Meng Dan had stiffened at the announcement. Meng Dan, indeed, had gone very white in the face, his fists clenched and there was a tension in his eyes that spoke of wariness.
Zi Wei stood up and said in a forced, calm voice, "I'll go tell Huang Ah Ma what happened before he comes in here. Just stay here while I try to talk to him. I think it might be easier if he doesn't see you for the time being."
"He would hardly kill you, or indeed, do anything to you, after what you've just done for Ru Yi," Xiao Yan Zi told Han Xiang and Meng Dan after Zi Wei had left the room. They both looked at her doubtfully.
"He won't," Yong Qi agreed. "It had been twenty years. In any case, Xiao Yan Zi is right, we owe you more now than you owe him. And I imagine that in this case we might have some influence over how he might react to this whole situation."
Zi Wei was not worried that they were in any danger of losing their lives over Han Xiang and Meng Dan's presence here. What she was more apprehensive about was how her father would react to their being here and the emotional toil that would result from it. She wondered how she should even begin telling him about the extraordinary day this had just been.
"Huang Ah Ma ji xiang," Zi Wei greeted him nervously. Qian Long took her nervousness for something else, however.
"Oh Heaven, is Ru Yi - " he began worriedly.
Zi Wei hastily interrupted and assured him, "Ru Yi is fine. In fact, Yong Qi said she should make a full recovery."
Qian Long was astonished. Such a change in less than a day! "But yesterday, both he and Hu Tai yi said - "
"Oh Huang Ah Ma, you would not believe what just happened!" Zi Wei exclaimed, taking his arm and leading him to a chair. Once he was seated, she took a deep breath and began telling the story. "Indeed, just this morning we all thought there was no hope left but that is until we had two very unexpected and surprising visitors."
Here, she paused and looked at her father, wondering how she would phrase the next part and how he would take it.
"Go on," Qian Long urged as she didn't continue.
"They...they were Han Xiang and Meng Dan."
She paused again and glanced furtively at Qian Long. A tumult of expressions crossed the old man's face at this revelation, among them were shock, pain and not a small amount of resentment.
"Huang Ah Ma, please hear me out. I know - I know this must be uncomfortable for you to hear and trust me, for me to tell you, considering all things. But right now I - and Yong Qi and Xiao Yan Zi would definitely agree with me - could only see their sudden appearance as nothing less than the greatest blessing. You must remember the time when Han Xiang saved me when I was ill with the medicine from her home - ding xiang wan? And she herself was saved by the same pill after all the physicians had said she was dead!"
Qian Long nodded curtly.
"Well, it was that same ding xiang wan that saved Ru Yi this time as well! Oh Huang Ah Ma, surely you must see how fortunate it was that they arrived so miraculously in time to save her when we have all but given up! We didn't even know they were coming but surely this means that Heaven is being very kind to us to have sent them just in time. Huang Ah Ma, I know, I know that their being back here must bring a lot of bad memories for you and I don't want to make excuses for the pain we brought you all those years ago and again now. But for Ru Yi's sake, and Yong Qi and Xiao Yan Zi's - "
She trailed off as Qian Long stood up abruptly and paced around for a while without saying anything. Then finally, he faced her, looking at her sharply and asked in a rough voice, "She is here, in this house?"
Zi Wei nodded quietly, noting that he made no mention of Meng Dan. But perhaps that would be better.
"And Ru Yi? She would recover? Are you sure?"
"Yes, Yong Qi is quite sure."
Zi Wei noted the conflicted look on his face before he turned away from her again. She didn't dare say anything more, lest it did more harm than good. She could only wait with baited breath while he remained silent for a long while.
"Huang Ah Ma?" she finally said tentatively he still did not say anything for a long time.
He looked at her again, this time with an expression that was puzzling to her. It was a mixture of resignation and regret. Then he turned, clenching his fist and stared out the window. "Where will they be staying?"
"Hui Bin Lou," Zi Wei said quietly. "Huang Ah Ma, please - "
He cut her off roughly, "I do not want to see her...them."
Zi Wei nodded slowly, holding her breath.
"For a long time, she had been dead to me. And that way she will remain. Am I understood?" he ended sharply.
"Yes, Huang Ah Ma," Zi Wei said in a small voice. She barely had time to look up before Qian Long strode out of the room and left without looking at her.
Zi Wei slowly made her way back to where everyone else was, not quite sure what to make of the entire encounter. In a way it had gone a lot better than she expected. He had taken the news as calmly as possible considering the circumstances. Yet it was that that made her feel guilty for the whole situation all over again.
"Well?" Xiao Yan Zi ambushed her as she got back.
"Well, he wasn't exactly happy at the idea that Han Xiang is alive. He had convinced himself that she really was dead all these years and I guess that's just his way of coping with it." Zi Wei turned and took Han Xiang's hand. "But I did press the point that you did just save Ru Yi's life. So anyway, he does not wish to see either of you while you are here in Beijing. I suppose that is for the best."
"It seems a rather subdued reaction," Xiao Yan Zi said pensively.
"What else can he do, really," Yong Qi sighed. "We do have prodigious talent of putting him in uneasy position."
Zi Wei only smiled dryly at that.
For Qian Long, he left Zi Wei in a storm of emotions. When he set out to Xue Shi Fu, his mind had been full of worry for Ru Yi. And now, though that worry was elevated, it was replaced by emotions he had thought to have long successfully buried.
He might have long forgiven his children for that incident with Xiang Fei, but that did not mean he could so easily forget it. These years, he had managed to convince himself of her death, so much that there were times when he did believe it. And he never thought there would ever be occasion when he would have to challenge that conviction anymore. She was the butterfly that had flown away from him. And now it seems she had fluttered back, though he did not know whether that was a blessing or a curse on him.
He tried not to think of her as she was all those years ago. He tried to focus on the now, that her presence was Ru Yi's salvation. She would have no doubt changed over the years, and whatever image he held of her all these years, no doubt she no longer held true to them. He tried not to think of the reasons for her being gone from his life in the first place, and the fact that that reason was here with her now in Beijing, in his daughter's house, no less!
He didn't know how he would react if he saw her again, after all these years. If truth be told, he didn't know what he felt for her anymore. There was a time when she stroke up more passion in him than any woman had ever managed to do. But she had never truly been his. She had always been like a dream, slipping in and out of his grasp.
He shook himself. This was why he had always convinced himself that she was dead. Old age did come with the dangers of dwelling too much on the past, on what could have been, and it seems that danger dived in more ominously now than ever. No, it would be much better to continue convincing himself that she no longer lived, because thinking about her brought too much regret, to many what-ifs and too much resentment of the children he loved.
Though none of them would trade Han Xiang and Meng Dan's presence in Beijing that day for anything, not solely because their presence saved Ru Yi either, they still regretted the inevitable pain that they had to bring to Qian Long. In other circumstances, they would have strived to keep the visit a secret from him, but with what they've done for Ru Yi, it was impossible.
All of them knew, despite that Qian Long didn't give outright objection to Han Xiang and Meng Dan's visit, only that he himself didn't want to see them, it was not wise for the two of remain too long in Beijing. They would all be treading on eggshells too much while the couple was here and Qian Long knew it.
As a result, despite of any earlier plan, Han Xiang and Meng Dan's visit in Beijing only lasted ten days before they thought it was best for them to remove the tension that existed between Qian Long and his children. Nevertheless, the group of friends did have a memorable time catching up with each other. Han Xiang and Meng Dan promised to head down to Dali to visit with the Fang family, perhaps catching Er Kang there as well, if they were lucky. They would also be able to report Beijing news to those in Dali, considering it looked like Yong Qi, Xiao Yan Zi and their children would have to remain in Beijing for a while longer. The author will refrain from commenting whether their hasty departure from Beijing was more chiefly the result of her inability to think of what to do with them now they have served the purpose of saving Ru Yi.
Let us now turn back a bit to poor Ru Yi who should be the focus of this chapter but it seems the author had neglected her in order to get rid of Han Xiang and Meng Dan.
Despite Yong Qi's declaration that Ru Yi was in a stable condition, she remained unconscious for the rest of that day after taking the ding xiang wan. Han Xiang had reassured them before she returned to Hui Bin Lou with Meng Dan and Jin Suo that day that this was completely normal. The important thing was that she was no longer feverish and in danger.
Later that night, Yong Qi said to Xiao Yan Zi, "You should go get some sleep. You look tired. I'll sit with Ru Yi."
In reality, he didn't particularly expect her to listen to him without some struggle, so it was surprising when she replied, "I am tired. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"You've been worrying too much lately. Go get some sleep."
"Promise me you'll wake me if she wakes up though?"
"Yes, love."
It was not until early in the morning that Ru Yi slowly stirred, however. Yong Qi was nodding off beside her bed, holding her hand lightly when he thought there was a tug at his hand and a flutter of an eyelid. They were both so light that he first thought it was simply a flutter of the candle on the bedside and he had imagined it. Immediately after he'd decided this, however, the pressure increased again and she seemed to squint, as if even the soft candle light was too much for her to handle. It was clear, though, that she was definitely waking up!
Yong Qi grasped his daughter's hand more tightly, wanting to go wake Xiao Yan Zi yet could not bear to tear himself away from Ru Yi now. Slowly, Ru Yi struggled to lift her eyelids which seemed weighted down as if by teals of silver.
"Ru Yi, sweetheart, wake up," he urged gently.
It took Ru Yi a moment to take in her surrounding and shake the confusion from her eyes.
"Father?" Ru Yi gasped. It was obvious that her throat and mouth was painfully dry. Breathing a sigh of relief that she was finally awake, Yong Qi slowly helped her drink some water to clear her throat.
"Thank Heaven that you are awake, Ru Yi. You gave everyone quite a fright, young lady," he breathed, kissing the top of her head.
"What happened?" Ru Yi asked, looking around. "Where's Mother?"
"She's in the next room. I'll go get her, she'll never forgive me if I didn't wake her the moment you woke up."
With that, he went into the next room where Xiao Yan Zi and Ji Xiang were sleeping.
"Xiao Yan Zi, Xiao Yan Zi."
"Hmmm?"
"Ru Yi's awake."
This made her bolt right up. "Ru Yi's awake?" she asked excitedly, gripping his arm, her eyes shining.
Yong Qi was about to caution her from waking Ji Xiang as well, but she was sitting up as well. "Is it true, Father? Ru Yi's awake?"
Xiao Yan Zi turned to Ji Xiang and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, darling, did we wake you up?"
"Never mind that, Mother," she said impatiently. "Ru Yi's really awake?"
"Yes," Yong Qi nodded.
Both of them couldn't get out of bed and dress fast enough and in her haste, Xiao Yan Zi knocked over a chair with a loud thump. When Yong Qi made to return to Ru Yi, he saw his sons at the entrance of their room.
"What's going on?" Jian Jun asked blearily.
Yong Qi answered, "Ru Yi's awake," which they greeted with similar excitement.
Xiao Yan Zi soon rushed to Ru Yi's side, closely followed by Ji Xiang, Jian Jun and Jian Wen. She pulled her youngest child into her arms. "Oh Ru Yi, thank goodness you're awake! Never scare me like that again, do you understand?"
"Xiao Yan Zi, you're suffocating her," Yong Qi said, but when their eyes met, they shared a look of pure relief nonetheless.
Xiao Yan Zi released Ru Yi and let her brothers and sister come to her.
"She'll be all right now?" Xiao Yan Zi asked Yong Qi, looking at him desperately, feeling she couldn't take more disappointed hopes.
For a moment, Yong Qi could only nod. Then finally he said, "Yes, she'll be fine now. She should recover fast enough now with proper rest and care."
Xiao Yan Zi let out a shaky breath and just looked at Yong Qi for a long while. It was impossible to describe what both of them were feeling at that moment. The worry and fear and despair they felt for the last few days were still fresh in their minds that this new sensation of relief felt foreign and unbelievable. Yet finally, it was as if an enormous weight had been taken off them and they could do nothing but relish in it.