Chapter 16: Unexpected News
True to Yong Qi's words, Ru Yi's recovery was sure and steady after that, for which they were all thankful. By the time that Han Xiang and Meng Dan departed Beijing ten days later, she was nearly back to normal, so that even Xiao Yan Zi had stopped hovering around her like she would have a relapse any moment. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that Zi Wei wanted to keep them in Beijing just a little longer, Yong Qi, Xiao Yan Zi and their children could have accompanied the couple back to Dali.
Several days later, Xiao Yan Zi and Zi Wei found a little time to sit together and talk without anyone around. They were talking mostly of the children, especially Xuan Zhuang, who was used to having just her mother for female company, and was delighted at having Ji Xiang and Ru Yi around.
"There are times when I wonder that she's not more boyish, growing up with three brothers," Zi Wei said of her daughter.
Xiao Yan Zi laughed. "She can hardly grow up boyish with you around, Zi Wei."
Zi Wei smiled. "I do love her to death. I would never complain of being able to give Er Kang sons, but honestly I don't know what I would do without some female comfort."
"What will you do when she leaves you? She is getting to that age, you know."
"Well, let's hope Ying Zhong and Ying De marry first, before we consider marrying off Xuan Zhuang."
"I suppose Huang Ah Ma would have the final say in any of their matches," Xiao Yan Zi sighed.
"Yes, I suppose, but I don't think he would force them into anything if they did not want it. I just wonder whether they would feel an obligation to say yes if Huang Ah Ma happens to suggest something. Of course, I do hope, either way, all my children would be as happy in marriage as Er Kang and I have been, but sometimes I wonder if we've set impossibly high standards that they have just come to think it's unattainable and settle for what they can get. Sometimes the way Xuan Zhuang talks, I think that's how she's thinking."
Xiao Yan Zi looked at Zi Wei, simply smiling for a moment.
"What?" Zi Wei asked.
"You are right that you do set impossibly high standards. Certainly compared to me, you seem to have the perfect marriage from the start."
Zi Wei just shook her head. "We do have our moments, trust me. But I suppose, compared to you and Yong Qi, anything would be peaceful. But you seem all right now. You two haven't had one argument the whole time you've been here. I'm a bit surprised, to be honest."
They both laughed. "Honestly? I can't remember the last time I argued with him," Xiao Yan Zi confessed.
"Ok, now are you sure there isn't something wrong?" Zi Wei joked. "Because that could only be abnormal."
"Really, Zi Wei. No, I guess after all these years we've fought and argued about everything possible that it just becomes pointless, as if it wasn't pointless before. But anyway, speaking of marriages and all, have you ever touched on the subject with Ying Zhong?"
"What, him and Ji Xiang?" Zi Wei smiled. "No, we hardly had time with everything that's been going on lately. But I can tell you this, Xiao Yan Zi, from the way he's been looking at your daughter lately, I don't think he'll complain. It's how Ji Xiang will react that will be the issue."
"Looking at her? He's been looking at her?"
"Oh, Xiao Yan Zi, you're so clueless sometimes. No wonder it took Yong Qi ages to break it to you that he was in love with you. I'm not saying Ying Zhong's head over heels in love with her or anything yet. Just that I think he at least finds her...interesting."
Xiao Yan Zi looked sceptical for a moment, then heaved another sigh. "I'm just wondering whether we should even say anything to them. I mean, what if we just leave it to them to figure it out themselves? I mean, listen to us. Ji Xiang is only sixteen, sometimes I see her as a child still."
Zi Wei smiled. "Sometimes I'm equally not ready to imagine having a daughter-in-law as well, even one I would welcome as Ji Xiang. But you know, they might well need a push in the right direction if they're going to be separated by the length of the whole country."
"Where are all of them anyway?"
"Oh, the boys are out riding and the girls are in Xuan Zhuang's room doing whatever it is that normal girls do. We never had much of normal past times in the palace, if you think about it, what with all those illegal plots."
Xiao Yan Zi laughed.
Zi Wei continued, "I think they're all planning to go to the night market later. I don't suppose you want to join them?"
"What, and interfere in a young people's outing? Besides, I'm feeling rather tired today."
Zi Wei moaned at her choice of words. "Young people, good Heaven, where did the time go?"
Xiao Yan Zi smiled wryly. "Indeed. And just the fact that we're talking about our children's marriage makes me feel positively ancient."
Zi Wei laughed. Then she looked closely at Xiao Yan Zi. "But you do seem tired, Xiao Yan Zi."
Xiao Yan Zi sighed. "I don't know what's come over me lately. I haven't done anything lately to feel so tired all the time. I didn't want to talk to Yong Qi about it because he'll just fuss. But now I wonder if I should, it's not normal."
"Maybe you've just been eating something strange..."
"Oh please, don't mention food right now," Xiao Yan Zi wrinkled her nose. "Just the thought of it at the moment really doesn't sit well with me."
Zi Wei chuckled, "You know, Xiao Yan Zi, if I didn't know better, I'd say there's a perfectly sound explanation for your tiredness and nausea and it has nothing to do with illness."
"Oh sure," Xiao Yan Zi laughed.
Zi Wei looked at her intently. "No worries there, then?"
Xiao Yan Zi looked at her, shaking her head. "Impossible. After Ru Yi, I haven't been able...and besides, we've just been discussing Ji Xiang's marriage, for goodness sake. And Ru Yi is twelve years old. No, with my children practically grown up, I would have no...well..."
"It's only a suggestion, Xiao Yan Zi. I was only teasing," Zi Wei said, though she didn't look convinced. Then, her eyes twinkling with laughter, she added, "In any case, it would be unusual, that after all these years, things are still happening to make it possible."
"Zi Wei!" Xiao Yan Zi exclaimed, colouring. "As if it is not the same with you?"
"But I'm not feeling tired and nauseous, dear sister," Zi Wei smiled archly. Xiao Yan Zi could think of nothing to retaliate to that.
When Yong Qi entered their bedroom that night, he found Xiao Yan Zi sitting with her knees drawn up under her chin, looking pensive. He sat down beside her and took her hand. She just turned and gave him a strange look.
"What is it?" he asked.
"I...Something's wrong with me, Yong Qi, and I don't know what it is," she sighed.
He turned her wrist over, preparing to take her pulse. "Why didn't you tell me about it earlier?"
"It's just, well, actually Zi Wei said something today...It's absurd, of course, it's probably not worth mentioning..."
"What?"
"She said...she said there might actually be a reason why everything suddenly is just so tiring lately..."
There was a short pause, then Yong Qi said quietly, "That perhaps you might be with child?"
Xiao Yan Zi threw a pillow at him, looking exasperated. "Why do you both think that? It's impossible!"
"No, it's not," Yong Qi grinned suggestively at her.
Xiao Yan Zi straightened and looked at him seriously. "Yes it is. You know it is. After Ru Yi, you said..."
"I said it was probable, I didn't say it was definite, Xiao Yan Zi. And even if I did, that doesn't make it irrefutable in the long run. My words aren't exactly words from Heaven, you know," he teased.
Xiao Yan Zi looked at him with wide eyes. "But..."
"In fact," Yong Qi continued, smiling at her. "I just took your pulse. It is very probable, if you don't want me to say definite, that Zi Wei was right."
Xiao Yan Zi gaped at him for a moment. "It...it is?"
He nodded. She just blinked rapidly, before burying her face in a pillow. "What am I going to do?" she moaned. "Good Heaven, Yong Qi, in a couple of years Jian Jun and Ji Xiang will be getting married and having children of their own."
"So?"
She looked up abruptly, "So? What do you mean so?"
"Xiao Yan Zi, I apparently have an eight-year-old sister, remember?"
"But you don't share a mother! Yong Qi, how am I going to do this? I can't..."
Yong Qi rubbed her back soothingly, "Darling, you're acting like it's the first time we're having a child! Besides, we can hardly do anything about it now that it's here."
"Are you not a bit disturbed or upset about this?"
He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her. "Not at all. Why would I be? Nothing could make me happier right now."
"It is very odd, Yong Qi," Xiao Yan Zi said, calming down a bit.
He chuckled. "Yes, well, since when was anything about us ever normal?"
They announced the news a couple of days later, when Qian Long was having lunch with them at Xue Shi Fu. Though judging by the shrewd way Zi Wei was looking at her, Xiao Yan Zi was fairly sure that Zi Wei, at least, was as certain as Yong Qi was about the situation.
The silence that followed the announcement was only broken by the clinking sound of Zi Wei setting down her spoon into her bowl. Then Qian Long exclaimed, "Oh well done, Yong Qi!"
Jian Jun and Jian Wen nearly choked on their food at that. It took all of Yong Qi's self-control gained from growing up in the palace to not roll his eyes or burst out laughing. Meanwhile, both Zi Wei and Xiao Yan Zi exclaimed, one scandalously and one embarrassed, "Huang Ah Ma!"
"I'm amazed," Ji Xiang exclaimed, reaching over to take her mother's hand.
"You can't be as amazed as I am," Xiao Yan Zi said.
"I am more amazed that you chose to announce this at a meal. I was certainly born into an odd family," Jian Wen remarked.
"You have no idea how odd," Xiao Yan Zi said. At the same time, Yong Qi raised an eyebrow and said simply but sternly, "Jian Wen."
He understood, however, and dutifully followed his brother and cousins in congratulating his mother.
"I think it's great," Ru Yi said gleefully. "I shall no longer be the youngest."
"You could stil be the youngest girl, which is kind of the same thing," Xiao Yan Zi pointed out, smiling.
"Not the point, Mother," Ru Yi said. "The point is there could never be too much of good news like this."
"Well, how much longer, Xiao Yan Zi?" Zi Wei asked impatiently a little while later, when it was just the two of them together again
"Seven months. I had not noticed at all until you mentioned it. But even if I did notice, I'd probably had thought it was something else."
Zi Wei smiled happily. "Well, it certainly means you're staying here for a long while now, doesn't it?"
Xiao Yan Zi said with a chuckle, "I think it will be a year before Yong Qi would even consider letting me travel. But I think I would be grateful to be with you when this baby comes, for once, especially this time, when I'm so nervous about all this."
"Don't be," Zi Wei said comfortingly. "It will be fine. So, do you think it will be a boy or a girl?"
"I don't know really. I don't know whether I want it to be a boy or a girl. Yong Qi thinks it is a girl, and he and I never agreed on this, and usually the one who was wrong was me so I am thinking of just agreeing with him for the sake of it."
Zi Wei laughed. "Well, I am sure you will be happy with a healthy baby, regardless."
Xiao Yan Zi nodded, then suddenly she smiled. "Why do I feel like this is some kind of trick someone is playing on us to get Ji Xiang and Ying Zhong to have time together?"
"Well, it is good timing, I suppose, but we must sound less like we're actively matchmaking them together. On the other hand, I suppose Xiao Jian and Qing Er are missing all of this. Oh!" Zi Wei suddenly cried, as if just remembering. "I almost forgot. I received a letter from Er Kang this morning, I was about to tell you at lunch but then this distracted me. He just wanted us to know that everything and everyone is fine now in Dali. Er Kang's sorting out everything there and depending how things go, he should be back in Beijing in about a month."
"Perhaps we should send a letter letting them know what's going on here," Xiao Yan Zi said. "But this hardly seems like something to be said in a letter."
"Well, it's the only choice, isn't it?" Zi Wei had already called for the servants to take out pens and paper and before long, the letter was written and on its way to Dali before the day was out.
"I don't feel any different, Yong Qi," Xiao Yan Zi said later that evening.
Yong Qi stood behind her and rested his chin on her head. "You always say that. You can't always feel the pregnancy, Xiao Yan Zi."
"No, that's not what I meant." She turned around to face him. "I mean, I'm not twenty anymore, Yong Qi. Goodness, I'm not even thirty anymore."
"What's your point?" Yong Qi asked, confused.
"It's been so long and when did I become so...old?"
Yong Qi smiled affectionately. "I don't think so. You are as lovely as ever. In any case, you'd always be younger than me."
Xiao Yan Zi rolled her eyes. "I mean, so much time has passed but I hardly notice it. I feel the same, I think I am the same person. But it's been twelve years since Ru Yi was born, and now I'm faced with the future of having a baby all over again. It just...it's like I can't remember what that's like."
"You'll be fine. We'll be fine. You'll have Zi Wei this time, even if you'll have to do without Qing Er. Unless we can convince them by letters to come here for the occasion, in which case it looks like we should all just move back to Beijing."
"Sure, that will work," Xiao Yan Zi said sarcastically.
"Actually, believe it or not, Huang Ah Ma had hinted at the subject with me."
"What?" Xiao Yan Zi exclaimed. "Moving back to Beijing? Or stay, rather. How could he think - ?"
"I don't think he expects us to come back to the palace. Just stay in Beijing. You know, closer to everyone."
"And what did you tell him?"
"Nothing. He hasn't said anything directly. Just, you know, I pick up things here and there."
Xiao Yan Zi frowned.
"I don't think Huang Ah Ma will actually ask us to, Xiao Yan Zi," Yong Qi said. "He knows the pressure he can put on us if he wants to. But he's not going to exert that pressure. Not much, anyway."
Xiao Yan Zi was quiet for a while, so that it seemed to Yong Qi that the subject was closed for the time being. But then, suddenly she spoke again.
"I'm not saying there is no reason for us to stay, Yong Qi."
"Hmmm."
"I mean, it's not just Zi Wei and Er Kang and Huang Ah Ma. If, just if, Ji Xiang and Ying Zhong do come through, I would hate to have her so far away."
Yong Qi chuckled. "You're getting ahead of yourself, Xiao Yan Zi, but yes, I see your point."
"But could we remain so low-profile here and not attract undue attention? Face it, Yong Qi, it doesn't matter what you do, you have a talent of attracting attention. Or you have talents, period."
Yong Qi chuckled. Then he said thoughtfully, "Well, whatever it is, you are not ready to travel any time soon, so can we just go with the flow for now? Let's see what happens these next few months and then we can decide. All right?"
"All right."
It was rather odd to be back in Beijing again, and to be staying for such a long time. Now that things had slowed down a bit, Xiao Yan Zi finally had time to realise this. It wasn't that she was not enjoying it. It was wonderful to be so near Zi Wei again, even if she did miss her brother and his family. For so long she had been away from Zi Wei that it was just strange to be back together again, but at the same time, it seemed like no time had passed between them. For this, Xiao Yan Zi was grateful. She would not be able to bear it if all these years apart made them feel awkward around each other.
Now that Zi Wei had mentioned it, Xiao Yan Zi found herself observing interactions between her daughter and Ying Zhong more closely. Zi Wei was perhaps right; they did seem to get along well. Ying Zhong had a way of making Ji Xiang look comfortable around in a way that Xiao Yan Zi had never seen any other male do after such a short time of Ji Xiang meeting them.
Xiao Yan Zi was not sure whether she ever really seriously considered the idea of Ji Xiang and Ying Zhong or not, but now that it had hit her that it might actually come true, for the first time, Xiao Yan Zi wondered whether it was actually a good idea. So occupied was she with this that even Yong Qi noticed.
"Xiao Yan Zi, what's wrong?"
"What?" she startled.
"You've got this frown on your face."
"Just thinking. About Ji Xiang and Ying Zhong. Worrying, actually."
Yong Qi sighed. "Xiao Yan Zi, I think you and Zi Wei are letting your fancies run away with you. There's hardly a Ji Xiang and Ying Zhong yet. And what are you so worried about?"
"Well, let's just say that they do end up together - " Yong Qi was about to say something but Xiao Yan Zi pushed on " - humour me here, Yong Qi. It'll be so complicated. When we came up with this idea, we were under the impression that our daughter would be growing up in Beijing, in the palace. But reality is that she has not. If she does end up marrying him, she'd have to get used to this entire new life, the palace, court, everything."
"Which, honestly, if you think about it, is rather ironic," Yong Qi managed to say.
"Yes, well, the point is that it's a lot to get used to, I should know. It's always so much pressure and to be honest, I don't want her to have to go through all that."
Yong Qi looked pensive for a moment. Then he sighed and said, "I still think you're letting your fancies run away with you. But let's, for the sake of argument, say that they do end up together. Well, Ji Xiang isn't you, Xiao Yan Zi." He couldn't help smiling.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Xiao Yan Zi said, not sure whether she was meant to be offended.
"Well, wasn't there a reason you had such a hard time in the palace? Ji Xiang could be about as stubborn as you but I don't think she'd go around causing as much trouble as you - " Xiao Yan Zi glared at him. Yong Qi chuckled. "Honestly, Xiao Yan Zi, you're the only person I know who could cause a whole world of trouble the moment they enter the palace by just lying there unconscious."
"And whose fault was that?" Xiao Yan Zi retorted.
"The point is, Ji Xiang is probably a lot more mature at sixteen that you were at eighteen."
"Are you determined to insult me in this conversation?"
"It's the truth, Xiao Yan Zi," Yong Qi laughed, dodging from her incoming swat. It took a while for both of them to calm down again.
"I'm not saying that the adjustment will be a walk in the park for Ji Xiang, but I think she'll survive it. Even you survived it well enough, until Zhi Hua came along. Face it, Xiao Yan Zi, without Zhi Hua, we'd never had that much reason to leave."
"I suppose," Xiao Yan Zi said reluctantly.
"And honestly, if Ji Xiang doesn't think Ying Zhong is worth at least attempting to go through the difficulties of the palace for then there is no way I'm letting her get involved with him, let alone marry him."
"I asked you to leave," Xiao Yan Zi whispered, guiltily.
"Yes." Yong Qi took her hand and gave it a loving squeeze. "But I made the decision, Xiao Yan Zi, because I realised that you've gone through enough for me. That for all that time, you've endured it for me and it was time I gave it up for you. I did have a choice. If I had stayed, you wouldn't have left me?"
Xiao Yan Zi wasn't sure whether the last part was a question. The phrasing wasn't, but the way he said it made it a question. Maybe it was the fact that even he was not sure that made her answer honestly.
"With the emotional state I was in then, I'm honestly not sure. But if I did, it would have been something I would regret forever, later."
"I wouldn't have let you go so easily, you know," Yong Qi said gently. "At least, not let you go alone."
She looked down at her hands enclosed in his. "I would probably hate you for it at that moment, but hopefully would be grateful for it later on."
They didn't say anything for a while, until Xiao Yan Zi brought the subject back to Ji Xiang and Ying Zhong again.
"So about Ji Xiang and Ying Zhong..."
"I still think you're worrying a bit prematurely. They've only just known each other for over a month, Xiao Yan Zi."
"How long did you know me before you began to like me?" she asked.
Yong Qi smiled. "I liked you the moment I first spoke to you in the garden, but then you were supposedly my sister. But how does that have anything to do with Ji Xiang and Ying Zhong?"
"Well Zi Wei said that Ying Zhong finds Ji Xiang, and I quote, 'interesting'. So he does admire her, Yong Qi."
"That still doesn't mean that they'll end up married, or happily so."
"It could. Everything has to start from somewhere."
Yong Qi laughed, "Honestly, Xiao Yan Zi, you must know there's so much more to a marriage than just admiration. It would be lying if I said that I didn't admire Zhi Hua's talents once upon a time, and see how that turned out."
"I'm not saying that whatever is between them right now is what everything will be based upon, but you must admit then there is potential for development?"
"Perhaps, but it's still much too early for you to worry about right now, that's my point."
"If it's going to be an issue later, how is worrying now and worrying later different?"
"Xiao Yan Zi, you're speaking as if it's a sure thing that they'll end up together. I don't think Ji Xiang will appreciate an arranged marriage with Ying Zhong, or anyone for that matter. For goodness's sake, Xiao Yan Zi, we of all people, should hate the idea of an arranged marriage."
"It's hardly the same, Yong Qi," Xiao Yan Zi insisted. "They're a good match."
"Lao Fo Ye thought that about me and Zhi Hua too."
"Well, I think you're just overly reluctant to let your little girl go," Xiao Yan Zi said, a wistful smile on her lips.
Yong Qi smiled back. "And you are in a hurry for her to get married?"
"No, but considering we're going to be here for the foreseeable future, something might come up between them."
"Might, being the keyword. Xiao Yan Zi, I get it, if they do end up together, yes it will be very odd for Ji Xiang to have to learn to deal with life at court and everything that comes with it, but Ying Zhong isn't me either. He doesn't exactly have people expecting of him what they expected of me. But for now, if you keep worrying like this you're going to give something away to Ji Xiang and something tells me she won't be happy if she thinks you're trying to matchmake her with Ying Zhong, which you are kind of doing. You can worry when something actually happens."
"I can't help it!" she laughed. "But you really woudn't be against the match if they do end up together?"
"Xiao Yan Zi, I would not wish for them to be together just because we wish it. But if he could really make her happy, and the fact that he's got good exampless from his parents means that he probably could, then you know I could not say no."
Xiao Yan Zi could at least appreciate that Yong Qi was right about one thing, that was Ji Xiang would not be happy to learn her mother was in any way matchmaking her with anyone. For that, she planned definitely to not say anything to Ji Xiang on the subject. Not that she really was matchmaking really. She did not want to push Ji Xiang into a marriage she didn't want anymore than Yong Qi did. But that didn't mean she couldn't hope. Though she didn't exactly avoid the subject entirely when speaking to Zi Wei, she managed not to betray anything to Ji Xiang.
In the end, though, it was not through Xiao Yan Zi or Zi Wei that Ji Xiang accidentally learnt of her mother's hope. It was several days after Er Kang had returned from Dali with news that everything was well settled there when Qian Long chose to visit Xue Shi Fu. Indeed, Qian Long frquented at Xue Shi Fu more these days, for the obvious reasons. He met Ji Xiang in the gardens and naturally spoke to her.
"I hope you get along well with Ying Zhong," he started.
At first, Ji Xiang did not think much of this statement, despite a hinting smile Qian Long was giving her.
"He is very nice," she said warmly. She did like him, of course. After all, he was her cousin.
"I suspect you'll want to think of him more than just nice if you are to marry him," Qian Long chuckled.
Ji Xiang froze in her track and stared at him. It must be the shock of what she just heard that allowed her to do this, since he was still the emperor and she hasn't quite gotten over being intimidated by him.
"I beg your pardon?"
Qian Long blinked at her astonishment.
"Has your mother not told you?"
"Told me what, sorry?"
"Well, I suppose I have ruined the surprise but I suspect they would tell you soon enough," Qian Long said. He, being the emperor, was far too used to arranged marriages for the idea that Ji Xiang might not welcome such a match to cross his mind. So he continued plainly, "Your parents have arranged it with his for the two of you to marry."
It took Ji Xiang a moment to remember to answer.
"And ...when exactly did they decide this?" she finally managed to ask.
"Even before you were born, I believe."
"I see."
Qian Long didn't manage to recognise, despite her frown, the quiet tone of her voice for displeasure and simply assumed it as shyness.
Ji Xiang, meanwhile, kept up a distracted conversation until they met Zi Wei and she could decently flee off to be on her own.
It was not the fact that her parents expected her to like Ying Zhong that made her both uncomfortable and angry. It was that they blatantly expected her to like him in such a way, even before she even existed. She found it even more incredible now, knowing her parents' whole story as she did, that they would ever even consider an arranged marriage for any of their children. She didn't want to feel it, but Ji Xiang couldn't help feeling like she was being cheated.
True, they have not said anything to her, but what did that signify? They obviously still considered it enough so that even Qian Long knew about it. And for all she knew, perhaps everyone did but her. A surprise, her grandfather had said.
Ji Xiang hated surprises.
Xiao Yan Zi and Yong Qi could tell that Ji Xiang was distracted throughout the rest of the day but could not put their fingers on why. Also, it did not seem as though Ji Xiang was inclined to tell them, or at least not while Qian Long was still at Xue Shi Fu.
Ji Xiang now wondered if he, Ying Zhong, knew about this arrangement, and whether his pleasantry to her was all part of it. That, and the guilt that he shot her with an arrow.
It did not even occur to Qian Long that Ji Xiang would react negatively to the idea at all. After all, as she said so herself, she found Ying Zhong nice. As far as he was concerned, her quietness might only be shock at such a news, not that she was displeased. After all, why should she be? He didn't even think to mention it to his children that he had told her, as he assumed they would know soon enough.
Ying Zhong had no idea why, for the rest of the day, Ji Xiang was suddenly avoiding him and when they did cross, she didn't seem to want to speak more than the bare minimum to him before finding some excuse to be away.
In fact, Ji Xiang remained stubbornly silent about what was bothering her until the next day, when she sought out Xiao Yan Zi when she was alone to talk about it.
"What's bothering you all day yesterday, Ji Xiang?" Xiao Yan Zi asked as Ji Xiang hovered about for a while without saying anything.
"What makes you think there's anything bothering me?" Ji Xiang asked sullenly.
"Ji Xiang," Xiao Yan Zi said disapprovingly. "You obviously want to talk. And that tone makes it quite clear."
Ji Xiang sat down on the bed with Xiao Yan Zi in a chair opposite her with a pout on her face.
"Just when exactly were you planning to tell me that you wanted to marry me off to Fu Ying Zhong?" Ji Xiang asked crossly.
Xiao Yan Zi opened her mouth, stunned for a moment, then closed it. After blinking several times, she finally found her voice. "Where did you hear that?"
"Huang Ye Ye told me yesterday morning, and he apparently thought that I knew. Were you planning to ask me at all or would you have just expected me to accept it the moment you wanted me to?" Ji Xiang said, her voice rising.
"You will not speak in that tone to me, Ji Xiang," Xiao Yan Zi said sharply. The irony of that statement didn't escape her. How many times had she used that very tone with her seniors? Then she sighed heavily.
Ji Xiang just glowered at her.
"Ji Xiang, I'm surprised that you would think your father and I would ever expect you to marry someone, anyone, even Ying Zhong, without consideration for your feelings."
"Are you not? You apparently made the match before I even existed!" Ji Xiang said angrily.
Xiao Yan Zi could not reproach her about her tone again. "We may have entertained the idea, Ji Xiang, but does that mean we would have forced you into such a marriage if you were against it?"
"I don't know, does it?" Ji Xiang asked sulkily.
Xiao Yan Zi pursed her lips. If she was being honest, she knew exactly why Ji Xiang was angry, and it was the only reason she was not angry at Ji Xiang for her rudeness.
"Be honest, Ji Xiang, do you really think your father and I would have just expected you to accept it like that?"
Ji Xiang was quiet for a moment. Then she said grudgingly, "Well, no." But she didn't look any more appeased.
Xiao Yan Zi sighed. "Look, Ji Xiang. When Zi Wei and I first thought of this, I will admit, slightly insane idea, we weren't exactly thinking much. To be honest, now looking back, I'm not sure whether Zi Wei was entirely serious when she suggested it, more likely she was just trying to distract me. But somehow, along the way, your father and I, Zi Wei and Er Kang, we all considered it a little more seriously than we probably should. I won't deny that I have entertained the hopes of you and Ying Zhong together, especially now that you've met. But I wasn't planning, at all, to tell you about any of this. I would never want to force you into marriage, Ji Xiang, not even with, especially not with Fu Ying Zhong. Now that you and Ying Zhong have met, we were hoping that things could develop naturally between you and if it does, I would welcome it. But if it doesn't, well, then it doesn't."
Ji Xiang frowned. "But Huang Ye Ye said that you were planning to tell me."
"I suppose, Zi Wei must have told him somehow," Xiao Yan Zi said thoughtfully. "But you have to understand that to him, it just sounds like an arranged marriage. To him, it's the most natural thing in the world and yes, he thinks that we would have expected you - both you and Ying Zhong - to accept it when it came. He arranges marriage on a regular basis so he thinks there's nothing wrong with it. But Ji Xiang, we never meant it to be an arranged marriage."
"Did he know? Ying Zhong? Is that why - " she faltered, not sure why she wanted to ask the question at all.
"Why what?" her mother asked, puzzled.
"Why he's been so nice to me? Because he thinks he's supposed to be or something - "
Xiao Yan Zi looked at Ji Xiang closely for a minute. "Would it bother you if it was so?"
"No." It was an automatic answer, and Ji Xiang was not sure how true this actually was. The realisation of this made Ji Xiang more uncomfortable than she cared to feel.
"He didn't know. Neither of you were supposed to know," Xiao Yan Zi said finally.
"So you don't expect me to just, I don't know, fall hopelessly in love with him or anything?" Ji Xiang asked warily.
Xiao Yan Zi chuckled, "No, Ji Xiang. I would not expect you to do anything of the sort. In fact, I'm not sure I want you to fall in love with anyone yet, Ying Zhong or otherwise. The bottom line is Ji Xiang, I know I can't keep you forever, and that one day you will get married. But I want that day to come when you're ready, not when I'm ready, and a marriage that you are willing to have. All right?"
Ji Xiang nodded. But she still looked uncomfortable.
"What is it?" Xiao Yan Zi asked gently.
"I just - how am I supposed to face him now?" Ji Xiang asked, looking horrified. "What if Huang Ye Ye lets it slip to him to and then he thinks he's supposed to woo me or something?"
Xiao Yan Zi swallowed a chuckle. "Just try and forget this piece of information and act like you've always acted around him. If you continue like this he'll know that something is not right. As for anyone telling him, I'll try to talk to you grandfather about not mentioning anything."
"You're supposed to marry Ying Zhong?" Ru Yi asked, astonished, later that evening when Ji Xiang, feeling desperate for someone to talk to, told her. In any other circumstances, her twelve-year-old sister would not be Ji Xiang's first choice of confidant in matters such as this. Xuan Zhuang was completely out of the question, since the subject concerned her brother. Her mother got her into this in the first place. Her aunt was equally not a good choice. She would die before she approached either of her brothers about it, or her father, for that matter. If it was possible, she would have gone to Qing Er, but she was, of course, unavailable. So it seemed that Ru Yi was the only choice.
"Yes! Can you believe it?" Ji Xiang sounded annoyed now that she had someone to rant to.
"Well - " Ru Yi said slowly, considering, "kind of, yes."
"Yes? What is that supposed to mean?" Ji Xiang exclaimed.
"I only said I can imagine them thinking of such situation. I mean, don't you think it's natural that, as close as Mother and Aunt Zi Wei are, they might have imagined being connected through their children?"
"Yes but to actually arrange it! Don't you think it's kind of hypocritical considering everything, considering Father was stuck in a miserable arranged marriage?"
"Oh, really, Jie jie, they're not saying you have to marry Fu Ying Zhong or Jian Jun dies or anything! For goodness sake, don't you think you're over-reacting a little?"
Ji Xiang stared at her sister for a moment, annoyed. "What? Whose side are you on?"
"Neither! Are there sides now? Did Mother say you have to marry him now that you know?"
"Well, no..." Ji Xiang slowly admitted.
"So what's the problem?"
"The problem?" Ji Xiang exclaimed hotly. "The problem is that they made a choice for me before I was even born! And now, even if they're not holding me to that choice anymore, I won't be able to the consider him the same way as before, just when I was getting along fine with him - "
Ru Yi started giggling.
"What?" Ji Xiang demanded.
"Are you listening to yourself? Basically what you're saying is that you do like him, but now you feel that you can't like him because you can't bring yourself to like someone that our parents chose for you?"
"You're missing the point!" Ji Xiang cried huffily.
"Which is?"
"Which is it doesn't matter whether I like him or not, I can't be normal around him again!"
"I still don't see your point," Ru Yi said, shrugging. "If you don't like him like that, why should it even matter what you know? It's not as if he knows. No one's holding you to anything."
"You're no help at all, you know that?" Ji Xiang grumbled.
"I just don't see what you're all worked up about, honestly! You've managed to get along with him all this time, even when he shot you with that arrow. I can't imagine how you can accept someone for nearly killing you but you can't accept him because your mother just mentioned that she would like for you to marry him years and years ago."
"It's just that - it's just that all of that, put together, it feels like something - or at least someone - is playing with my life or my fate. I mean, of all people to run into in Beijing, what are the chances of our meeting in the first place?"
"I don't know, shouldn't you be glad that you ran into him, of all people?"
"I am, trust me, but don't you think that in the grand scheme of things, it's just more than a coincidence?"
"Maybe, but isn't the fact that we're related to him enough for it to be more than a coincidence? I think you're overreacting."
"Of course you would, you're twelve!" That sounded ridiculous even as she said it, but Ji Xiang was too bothered with the situation to consider it.
"What does being twelve have anything to do with it?" It was Ru Yi's turn to be annoyed now. "Besides I didn't force you tell me any of this!"
Ji Xiang sighed. "Is it so hard to just sympathise with me a bit?"
"You're acting as if some tragedy has befallen you, I just think you're being melodramatic!" Ru Yi exclaimed. "Unless you are in love with him, which is why you are so bothered by this."
"Of course not!" Ji Xiang nearly yelled. "Never mind, I should never have started this conversation with you."
Ru Yi didn't answer for a while. Then, when Ji Xiang was sure the conversation was over, she spoke.
"I wouldn't mind, you know."
"Mind what?" Ji Xiang asked sharply, annoyed again. "Marrying Fu Ying Zhong?"
Ru Yi burst out laughing. "No. I meant, I wouldn't mind having him as a brother-in-law."
"Ru Yi, be quiet."
"I won't say I told you so," Yong Qi said.
Xiao Yan Zi ignored this.
"She wasn't happy with the idea, then?" Er Kang asked.
"Well, I won't go out and say she wasn't happy with the idea of Ying Zhong. I think she's more upset with the idea that it was arranged," Xiao Yan Zi said. "But then again, we can hardly blame her for that."
"I don't know, Xiao Yan Zi, other people marry in arrangements on a regular basis, and the world hasn't collapsed or anything. There's nothing wrong with an arranged marriage," Er Kang said.
Xiao Yan Zi stared at him in shock. "Surely you would not want such a choice taken away from you?"
Yong Qi chuckled. "You're saying that to the wrong person, Xiao Yan Zi. His marriage prospects had always been pre-arranged. It was just his luck that in the end he managed to end up with someone he loved. It was always Huang Ah Ma's choice, you know."
"I suppose, that is one way of looking at it," Xiao Yan Zi said doubtfully.
"Believe it or not, Xiao Yan Zi, Ying Zhong would not blink an eye at an arranged marriage. He grew up expecting one," Er Kang sighed.
"Ji Xiang minds," Xiao Yan Zi pointed out. "Though I think she minds more the idea that we may not give her a choice, regardless of her feelings. I think if they do end up liking each other, and she believes it is her choice, then she would hardly be against it."
"Well, then, I think if they are destined to be together, it would hardly take something like this to tear them apart," Zi Wei said, smiling. "It might just be this that makes Ji Xiang consider things in a different light, you know."
Yong Qi groaned. "Please don't tell me you are still hoping for a match? Isn't that what caused this problem in the first place?"
"What problem?" Zi Wei asked.
"Ji Xiang is upset and Ying Zhong is confused about why she suddenly acts oddly around him."
"Exactly," Zi Wei smiled.
"Exactly?" Yong Qi asked, perplexed. "What do you mean?"
"She's upset for a reason. If she was completely indifferent, I think she would be able to brush the idea aside a lot easier. As Xiao Yan Zi said, she's only upset because she thinks it's not going to be her choice."
"This is insane. I'm not going to sit here and analyse whether my daughter is in love or not. Even if the young man in question is your son," Yong Qi groaned, shaking his head.
"I would think love is a bit premature right now, but I think we still have reasons to hope," Zi Wei said.
Yong Qi looked helplessly at Er Kang. "Is there an age when all women feel they have to partake in matchmaking?"
Er Kang shrugged and felt it probably suited him better to not comment.