Chapter 18: Season of Courtship
She was definitely getting more than she bargained for, Ji Xiang thought.
Her father had introduced them to the Ai Xin Jue Luo genealogy. The chart that stretched in front of her contained more names than she could ever expect, so that the words swam in her eyes. It was not possible to be related to so many people, surely. How could you remember everyone, even if you did know them all your life?
And this was only her father's immediate family, with his brothers and sisters, many of whom died young, and their children. She could not imagine how wide the chart would stretch to add another generation to it.
She looked to how her father's name and her aunt's name were next to each other on the chart. Ji Xiang found it odd that anyone could consider marriage between two such closely related people as Ying Zhong and her. But then again, they did not share a family name, which apparently it made it socially acceptable.
Yet she could not help enjoying the time spent preparing this present for her grandfather's birthday. In that time, she learnt more about her parents than she thought was possible. She had always thought she knew pretty much everything that was to know about her parents, but now that thought seemed so absurd. They had lived a whole other life before she and her siblings were born, a life in an entirely different world, which they knew little about, even now. Even through these history and stories, they might learn a little, but they would never really know how it was. It suddenly made Ji Xiang realise how different that world was to how she grew up. Even though these stories were being told to her, and involved her own parents, they seemed so fantastical that she could not imagine them as real. And yet in that fantastical world had lived, and she, herself, was floating around the edge of it now, here in Beijing.
She could have grown up in that world, she could have had that life, and yet, she wondered whether she could truly want such a life. Though the stories her parents told were mainly of good memories, each were still laced with a tinge of sadness, or of some trouble that seemed trivial now, but could not have been so easily dismissed then.
Ying Zhong was right. The process of preparing this gift for the Emperor was very enlightening for her and her siblings, both where they came from and everything that made up their family as it was today. In the end, the project ended up more than just a gift to the Emperor. It was a gift for Ji Xiang and her siblings too. And she could tell, for her parents, it was also a way to let them their children all the things that they could not talk about all these years. Surely it could not have been easy to keep so much vital information a secret, and she knew both her parents felt the relief in not having to hide anything anymore.
Yong Qi had totally anticipated a quiet evening on the day of his father's 73rd birthday. After all, his sister's entire family would be in the palace with the celebrations. He was not sorry to avoid the spectacle that the palace would be immersed in. He only missed the chance to show his respect to his father, rather than the celebrations themselves.
As usual with most celebrations in the court, it ran deep into the night, and so it was not till the next morning that he heard about how things went on in the palace.
The two families gathered at the breakfast table where mostly the Fu children took turns describing the entertainment of the night before. It seemed to be all the standard acts and celebrations and Yong Qi wasn't surprised at any of it until Ying De started teasing his older brother about his company the night before.
"Of course, Ying Zhong had lovely company the whole night," he snickered, ignoring his brother's glares and his mother's warning look, though Zi Wei was half-hearted about it.
"Oh?" Yong Qi could not help it, and asked.
"Hui Fang Ge Ge was quite attached to him the whole night," Ying De said, smirking at his brother. Ying Zhong looked like he would like to throttle his brother.
"I think you're exaggerating a bit," Ying Zhong said testily. "I spoke to her for a while, hardly the whole night."
"I don't know, every time I looked you were with her," Ying Yi chortled. "You wouldn't let her out of your sight."
"She wouldn't let me out of her sight," Ying Zhong protested through gritted teeth.
Yong Qi just looked at his sister and brother-in-law to see how much of this was just Ying Zhong's brother teasing him and giving him a hard time. It was then that he saw that Zi Wei wasn't really looking at her son, but glancing at Ji Xiang. Yong Qi followed her gaze and saw that Ji Xiang looked oddly flushed and was holding herself rather stiffly. Like her mother, Ji Xiang was incapable of hiding her emotions at times and the tell-tale red tinge on her cheeks that she was at least disturbed by the Fu brothers' banter.
"I think he protests too much," Ying De smirked.
"Boys," Zi Wei said warningly, finally. "You should not talk about a lady when she is not present."
To Ying Zhong's obvious relief, the subject was dropped. For some reason, his eyes seeked out Ji Xiang and the moment their gazes met, Ji Xiang became even more flustered and stood up, mumbling an excuse that Yong Qi could hardly make out before rushing out of the room.
"Oh," Xiao Yan Zi exclaimed softly, so that only Yong Qi could hear her, before rushing after their daughter. Meanwhile, Yong Qi didn't think he could look at either Zi Wei or Er Kang for fear that he would start laughing. He could not look at Ying Zhong either, because the danger of laughing was even greater if he did. But Yong Qi could not help but give a small smile as, out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his nephew looking completely bewildered at Ji Xiang's sudden departure.
Despite Ji Xiang's obvious desire to get out of the room quickly, Xiao Yan Zi's better familiarity with the house allowed her to catch up with her daughter fairly rapidly.
"Ji Xiang?" she asked gently as she fell into step beside her daughter. She decided to just skip beating around the bush and said plainly, "Did Ying De's story bother you?"
"No, why should it?" Ji Xiang said immediately, though her tone spoke otherwise.
"I don't know, you just seem rather upset and you rushed out of the room quite quickly," Xiao Yan Zi said, biting back a chuckle.
"I'm just a bit tired," Ji Xiang said vaguely. "You know, from the wound."
"Oh you are perfectly fine, Ji Xiang," Xiao Yan Zi said. "And you do wear your heart on your sleeves, my dear."
"I do not see how that has to do with anything, Mother," her daughter pressed on stubbornly and yet annoyed. "Fu Ying Zhong is perfectly free to flirt with whomever he wants, why should it bother me?"
"I didn't hear Ying De say anything about flirting, Ji Xiang," Xiao Yan Zi held back a smile. "It would hardly be appropriate."
Predictably, Ji Xiang reddened, but she pressed on, "Well, he's free to spend time with whomever he wants. It doesn't bother me, why should it?"
Indeed. It took Xiao Yan Zi several seconds to stop the laugh that was bubbling up and force herself not to say what she really wanted to say.
"You just sound rather bothered by it all, that's all," Xiao Yan Zi said innocently.
"Well, you are wrong and I am not, Mother. Why, I don't even know the girl," Ji Xiang said stiffly. "Other than the fact that she's probably some glamorous princess that probably he would much rather wish to court."
"As opposed to whom?" Xiao Yan Zi asked quietly, almost to herself. Ji Xiang just stared back at her in astonishment.
"No one, I'm just saying," she said awkwardly.
Oh Ji Xiang. Xiao Yan Zi didn't know whether she should point out to Ji Xiang that she - Ji Xiang - should be that princess, too. But then again, Xiao Yan Zi couldn't help but sympathise with her daughter, who was obviously well on her way to feeling a lot more than she realised.
They had reached the door of the room that Ji Xiang and Ru Yi shared, and Xiao Yan Zi stopped and said, smiling, "You know, darling, I don't mind if you do not tell me everything. But when you can't admit it to yourself then perhaps there's more for you to think about."
"I'm not sure what you're talking about," Ji Xiang protested.
Xiao Yan Zi smiled at her daughter and shook her head. She just patted Ji Xiang's cheek before leaving her rather bemused daughter to her own thoughts.
Meanwhile, Yong Qi could only marvel at Zi Wei's ability to come up with totally natural excuses for the rest of their children to leave the three of them alone.
"Did what I thought just happened just happen?" Er Kang asked in disbelief once they were alone.
Yong Qi could only shake his head in wonder. "Poor Ying Zhong. And I probably shouldn't say that, with conflict of interest and all that."
Zi Wei looked like she was holding back a laugh. "I'm torn between being a little freaked out and amused by how history just seems to be repeating itself."
"I don't think Ji Xiang quite understands her own reaction," Yong Qi said, suppressing both a sigh and chuckle. "As amusing as I'm finding this situation, I am having to convince myself that it is a bit of harmless jealousy and Ji Xiang would get over it. It's what happens after she realises what her feelings mean that is a concern to me."
"And yet you and Xiao Yan Zi were ok," Er Kang chortled. "How did you manage to appease her, anyway? I think Ying Zhong might appreciate a little advice from experience in this matter."
"No, no, no, Er Kang," Yong Qi said, only half-joking. "I'm putting my foot down on that. This is my daughter here. I will definitely not approve of Ying Zhong doing the same thing I did with Xiao Yan Zi."
What ever feelings for Ying Zhong Ji Xiang might have betrayed in that burst of jealousy, there was no way Yong Qi would be telling any young man to go kiss his daughter to mollify her.
"You never told us what happened after you ran after her," Er Kang mused.
Yong Qi just smiled. "It's none of your business, but let's just say it's not something I quite want to invite Ying Zhong to do."
"That bad?" Er Kang sniggered.
"Yes," Yong Qi said with a perfectly straight face. Zi Wei bit her lip to stop herself laughing.
"She seemed happy enough when you got back though," she observed archly.
"Exactly," Yong Qi smiled.
At that moment, Xiao Yan Zi had returned to the room.
"How's Ji Xiang?" Yong Qi asked her.
"Annoyed and in denial, or she just doesn't realise yet what she's annoyed about. I'm not sure I was much help. I keep wanting to say too much. Or laugh," Xiao Yan Zi said ruefully. "I thought it was better if I just let her think things over a bit."
"This is an odd situation we find ourselves in," Zi Wei chuckled slightly.
"So, who's Hui Fang Ge Ge?" Xiao Yan Zi asked.
"Well, from her generation name," Yong Qi mused, "she's either Huang Ah Ma's granddaughter or some form of great-niece. I'm trying to decide which one."
"She's not one of your nieces," Er Kang smirked. Ok, so she was the daughter of one of his cousins then.
"That widens possibilities. I'm not going to even try and guess. So who is she?"
"Granddaughter of He Qin Wang, daughter of his second son, Yong Bi."
"So what's that, in relation to Yong Qi?" Xiao Yan Zi asked, confused. Yong Qi shook his head at her inability to keep all his relations straight.
"He Qin Wang is my uncle, making Yong Bi my first cousin," Yong Qi explained.
"So was Ying De just trying to tease or was this Ge Ge really all over him?" was Xiao Yan Zi's question. Yong Qi found himself wondering this too, and thought it might just get much too complicated if what Ying De was teasing his brother about was true.
"Ying De was exaggerating slightly but he was trying to get a reaction out of Ying Zhong, not Ji Xiang," Zi Wei smiled. "In any case, I think Ying Zhong was just humouring Hui Fang rather than really wanting the attention. I suppose Hui Fang might be interested, but she knows nothing would come of it if Huang Ah Ma does not consider it. And Huang Ah Ma knows about...well..."
"I must say, the fact that Ji Xiang got upset at just the mention of another girl surprised me a bit," Xiao Yan Zi mused. "I didn't think it actually got to that yet. Mind you, she wasn't in a rage or anything, but she is definitely not happy at the idea of Ying Zhong 'flirting with whomever he wants'."
Yong Qi wanted to laugh but at the same time he could understand too well what Xiao Yan Zi meant. Ji Xiang's reactions had made him realise that he now had to consider his own thoughts on the situation. Unlike Xiao Yan Zi, he had been reluctant to think too much about the possibility of Ji Xiang and Ying Zhong at all, but it was becoming apparent that the possibility was looming larger than ever. He did not mind, per se. He liked Ying Zhong well enough, with or without considering him as a match for his daughter. But the idea of Ji Xiang moving into that stage in life was taking him too much by surprise. It should not be, really, considering most princesses Ji Xiang's age would be married already. It is a wonder at why Ying Zhong was still unattached.
"You were surprised when Cai Lien came along too," Zi Wei teased.
"That was different!" Xiao Yan Zi exclaimed. "Are you saying that you saw this coming?"
"Didn't you?" Er Kang asked. "From what you said before, I would think you would be happy."
"I would not want to be happy while Ji Xiang is upset," Xiao Yan Zi said. "Even then, Ji Xiang doesn't quite understand what she's feeling either. I can't exactly go and tell Ji Xiang what it is, however well I might understand how she feels," Xiao Yan Zi said. "Anyway, it begs the question now, of what Ying Zhong feels and whether he understands why she's so upset."
"Obviously not," Yong Qi said dryly. "I wonder whether he even realises now that she's upset with him, but he will realise it soon enough. Ji Xiang will be avoiding him more than ever now."
"Yet we can't do anything but let them work it out for themselves," Zi Wei said firmly.
And that, Yong Qi reflected later, was probably the hardest thing about the entire situation. The desire to protect Ji Xiang was ever present; he didn't want to consider that she would have to face with these new feelings and the uncertainties that they brought. Part of him didn't want to let her go to explore these feelings, though he knew well that such feelings could potentially bring her happiness. But along with that happiness would come pain, for there could not be one without the other. That part of him wanted to shield her away from it, though he knew it was hopeless. Even he could not stop her from growing up.
"Maybe it would have been better if you and Mother had just expected me to agree to marrying Fu Ying Zhong," Ji Xiang told Yong Qi the next day. "It then wouldn't be this complicated."
"What do you mean?" Yong Qi asked.
"Well, then I wouldn't have to actually decide how I actually feel about him or wonder what he feels, because it wouldn't matter anyway. And the deciding how I feel is so very confusing," Ji Xiang sighed. "Even more so is figuring out what he feels."
"It's because it's complicated and confusing that you need to figure it out, Ji Xiang," Yong Qi told her gently. "Going into a marriage blindfolded, not knowing what you feel nor what he feels would not be a comfortable situation for either of you."
Yong Qi wondered to himself how he managed to say this so evenly, to speak of Ji Xiang and marriage in the same breath.
Ji Xiang smiled, "If I do marry, I will be blindfolded, Father. Literally."
Yong Qi couldn't help smiling at that.
Then Ji Xiang gave a wistful sigh. "I'm just not sure whether I'm supposed to be feeling like this..."
"Ji Xiang, forget about what you should feel, about what is right to feel. What do you feel?"
"I don't know!" Ji Xiang exclaimed. "I don't know why I felt so annoyed last night when Ying De mentioned that princess. I don't know why, ever since I knew about that - that hope between Mother and Aunt Zi Wei about Ying Zhong and me that it should change everything, or why I have been feeling so weird around Ying Zhong and yesterday's conversation is not helping! I just don't know!"
"Don't you?" Yong Qi just asked mildly. He felt a pang of loss deep inside him, as he tried to come to the terms with everything that Ji Xiang claimed she didn't know she was feeling. And yet the way she was saying it all made it all clear to him, and no doubt to her, as well, what exactly she was feeling for Fu Ying Zhong. And Yong Qi couldn't help but feel the loss. Had time really gone so fast? Were they there already, at the place where he would have to start to let her go? He couldn't say that he didn't know it was coming. He should have known, this past month more than ever.
"But what use would be knowing what I feel," Ji Xiang went on, her voice a little forlorn, "if it would be all for nothing, if he - well - it's impossible, really."
"What is?" Yong Qi continued to prompt.
"That he would ever feel the same. Why would he? Why should he, when he could have anyone, princesses and - " She trailed off again and Yong Qi thought she sounded oddly choked.
How strange it was that Ji Xiang was feeling this, Yong Qi thought, when by right, the one to feel such inadequacy should be Ying Zhong. Ying Zhong should be the one wondering why a daughter of a Qin Wang like Ji Xiang would give him the time of the day. Biased as he could be, Yong Qi knew that between Ji Xiang and Ying Zhong, the undeserving one would never be his daughter.
"You are a Ge Ge, Ji Xiang," he said softly, but firmly. "You are my daughter and the Emperor's granddaughter. Your brothers have more claims to the throne than Ying Zhong himself, or Hui Fang's father." He saw that Ji Xiang opened her mouth to protest but he pushed on, cutting her reasoning off. "It doesn't matter that you never lived such a life, or what decisions I have made, or what the records and documents say, you can't change the blood that runs in your veins, Ji Xiang."
"I know," Ji Xiang admitted in a small voice. "The knowledge just comes with a rather huge package that is a little hard to live up to."
"I understand," Yong Qi said with a bittersweet smile. "But you know, Ji Xiang, whatever you or Ying Zhong feel right now, it's still not going to be enough to base anything long term on. As we will be here for the reasonably near future, you might want to take that time to get to know each other. I'm not saying you have a deadline of when we leave to decide, but just know that you have that time, and more. And I'm not going to stop you, sweetheart, as much as I dread letting you go down that path just yet."
"You're not going to stop me spend as much time as I want with Fu Ying Zhong?" Ji Xiang asked, her eyes twinkling mischieviously.
"Don't get any idea, Ji Xiang," he smirked back. "There is prudence involved here. If he tries anything inappropriate, his father's wrath should be the least of his worries."
More soberly, Ji Xiang sighed and said hesitantly, "But why am I entertaining the possibility of this at all? I don't even know what he feels, even now."
"Can you really not know how he feels about you, interacting with him all this time?"
"He is very nice, and attentive, and everything," she conceded, "but what part of that is just guilt of nearly killing me, and how much of that is just that I'm your daughter?"
"If you cannot tell the difference, Ji Xiang, then perhaps all this is perhaps not such a good idea after all," Yong Qi said mildly.
Ji Xiang was quiet for a long moment, and Yong Qi took that moment to reflect how very different this all was from anything he had ever experienced in the realm of courtship. With him and Xiao Yan Zi, Zi Wei and Er Kang, even Qing Er and Xiao Jian, falling in love and courtship had happened in such flurry of secret schemes and hidden identities that they were never really afforded the luxury of slowing down to consider their feelings rationally. They had all made decisions about how they felt about each other in such snatches of time that he had to admit, now, was very risky. They really had no reassurances but to put their trust in each other. And yet they all had fallen so hard, that even the most glaring of differences between him and Xiao Yan Zi could not even tear them apart - they nearly did, but never actually accomplished it. He doubted that it would be like that between Ji Xiang and Ying Zhong. No, they had the luxury of time, if not necessarily free from some secrecy. No doubt, if this developed, it would be so very different from everything Yong Qi had ever knew or seen. Then again, perhaps a more temperate relationship would suit Ji Xiang more, even if at occasion she could be like her mother.
"Should I even consider it at all, Father?" Ji Xiang said finally. "Beijing is so far away..."
Yong Qi smiled sadly, "It is not the distance that should worry you just yet, Ji Xiang. What is more to think about would be the differentness of it all, and the secrecy. To consider Ying Zhong, you would have to consider, as well, adjust to the court that should have been yours, but is completely foreign to you now. You would have to accept that while you know of the blood you hold, you could never reveal it to anybody. But then, that court is full of secrecy and controversies. I fear you would be too good for it, your heart too pure. Your mother had that precise problem with it. Though you would not be immersed in it as your mother would, you would still have to face it. I would never dream of leaving you to face it all, if I didn't already trust Zi Wei and Er Kang more than it was probably sensible to trust. Maybe whoever you consider, you will still have to make certain sacrifices, but they will not be of this magnitude. You would have to be sure that you can risk the adjustment before you can give your word, Ji Xiang."
"Can you really let me go so far, to all that, Father?"
"For your happiness, I would," Yong Qi said, somewhat wistfully. "As much as I don't want to face the reality that you are growing up, I do have to admit that perhaps this family is the only family that I could bear to lose you to, and still be completely assured that you would be protected and cherished as you deserve."
Maybe it was odd that after all this time, they had reached full circle, coming back here. Maybe it was a sign that no matter what, his children were still had imperial blood in their veins, that eventually at least one of them would have to return here. But as far as Beijing was, Yong Qi really could not imagine letting Ji Xiang go to anywhere else. Perhaps with Ji Xiang here, it would means that he and Xiao Yan Zi had even more reason to return to Beijing. Whether that was a good thing or not, he couldn't decide.
"Why do girls have to be so complicated?" Ying Zhong asked her, his voice annoyed.
It took Zi Wei a second to hold back her laughter and answer with a straight face, "Girls? Or just a particular girl?"
Ying Zhong just went on with his rant, "I mean, one day, things would be fine and we would be able speak normally to each other and then the next, she's suddenly avoiding me and leaving me to wonder what exactly it is that I have done to offend her. It's not reasonable, E'niang!"
"You're going to have to tell me who you're talking about, Ying Zhong, I wouldn't want to guess wrong," Zi Wei smiled at her son.
"Please, E'niang, I beg that you would not tease me at a time like this," Ying Zhong groaned. "It's bad enough that I have to figure out what she's feeling. I mean, why can't she just tell me what's upsetting her instead of avoiding me?"
"If rules of society allowed such frankness, Ying Zhong, I think she would," Zi Wei said. "But can you really not guess why she's avoiding you?"
"No," was her son's blunt answer. Then he sighed. "Well, yes, I can. It started after Ying De couldn't keep his mouth shut about Hui Fang Ge Ge, which he was just making a mountain out of a molehill. There wasn't anything going on. There couldn't be anyway, it would be useless in the end if Huang Shang does not allow it and he had not indicated anything of the sort. I'm not foolish enough to pay so much attention to a girl lest it raises expectations that I won't be able to fulfill."
"And yet you pay quite a lot of attention to Ji Xiang," Zi Wei couldn't help but smile.
Ying Zhong looked taken back, as if he didn't even realise. Then he said awkwardly, "Well, that's different, isn't it?"
"How so?"
"Well, I did nearly kill her..."
"So all this stems from guilt?"
"Not exactly, E'niang," Ying Zhong said slowly. "But it's kind of hard to not pay attention to her considering she is, for now, living here. Do you think I'm leading her on?"
"You'd only be leading her on, Ying Zhong, if you give her indications of feelings that you don't have and promises that you cannot fulfill."
"I don't really know what feelings I do have for her, E'niang, because I don't really know what you and Ah Ma expect of this - "
"What we expect?" Zi Wei cut him off, frowning. "Ying Zhong, I hardly think that you could make yourself have feelings that we expect, if you didn't genuinely feel it yourself. So while we're on the subject, your father and I do not expect anything of you in this, it's purely a matter of how you feel about Ji Xiang yourself."
"But you have hopes - " Ying Zhong started.
Sometimes Zi Wei despaired at the fact that her children, especially Ying Zhong, were probably all too perceptive for the own good, and too aware of their duties.
"My hopes are that you would be happy," Zi Wei told him gently. "I would also hope for Ji Xiang to be happy. Tell me, would you consider Ji Xiang simply because your father and I say so?"
"Well, yes," her son replied, surprised. "If you and Ah Ma wished it - "
"But would you wish it? For her, for yourself? I would not have you marry Ji Xiang, or anyone, either, simply because your father and I say so, without consideration for the lady herself or for your own wishes. Ji Xiang has much more to lose than you in this situation, and that's more reason for you not to consider just because your father and I wish it."
"To tell you the truth, E'niang, that from the beginning I resisted the idea of interacting with Ji Xiang at all, because I really didn't want you to expect anything, for you...I don't know, to get any ideas. I tried avoiding her, in the beginning, but it seemed so churlish to ignore her when I did nearly kill her. But yet the more I interact with her, I begin to realise that she's very hard to resist, that it's not just a sense of responsibility that makes me want to talk to her. Maybe it's just because she's so different from other girls I know. I don't know what it is about her that intrigues me so much, I just have a feeling that I could spend the rest of my life getting to know her and I would never get to the end of it." Here, he paused for a moment and then said awkwardly, "Did I just say that?"
Zi Wei chuckled, "Yes."
Ying Zhong buried his face in his hands. "I just talked about the rest of my life and Ji Xiang in the same sentence. I'm so falling in love with her, am I not?"
Here Zi Wei really laughed. "That is something you will have to figure out on your own, my dear. But it seems to me, you have not yet talked about the beauty of her face or the lusciousness of her hair or the brightness of her eyes or anything of the other cliched signs of a young man in love."
"E'niang," Ying Zhong groaned, "I grew up in the palace court. I know what beautiful girls look like. I can't marry a girl just because she's pretty. But yes, I will admit that I find her attractive anyway, not just because she is beautiful but because I just feel so comfortable talking to her about anything and honestly, we've talked about some pretty strange subjects. But then in other aspects she's just so different and hard to guess. And she's not like the girls at court, so she's even more confusing sometimes." He let out a rather weary breath. "It's not supposed to be this complicated, E'niang. I was supposed to just marry someone that you and Ah Ma or Huang Shang choose for me, and then get to know her when I know she's already my wife and not going anywhere. Wouldn't that had been a lot less hassle?"
"A lot less exciting and satisfying, I would say," Zi Wei smiled.
"How do I even know Huang Shang would agree to this?" Ying Zhong asked.
"Your grandfather can't really disapprove of Ji Xiang, Ying Zhong, not when if Ji Xiang was here, in Beijing, it would bring her parents to Beijing more. But it is not the Emperor's approval and opinion that you need to worry about now. Your question is how does Ji Xiang feel about all this?"
"I don't know," Ying Zhong said flatly. "She's a girl, E'niang."
Zi Wei stifled another laugh. "Yes, that is rather the point."
"I have never claimed to understand girls. I don't understand Xuan Zhuang, sometimes. How am I supposed to guess what Ji Xiang is feeling?"
"Maybe you shouldn't just guess. You are going to have to speak to her about it sometime, Ying Zhong," she said gently.
"What am I supposed to say? I mean, this isn't just some princess, this is Ji Xiang. She won't take the flattery of princesses. Though that is one of the things I like about her, I have to admit right now it makes me pretty clueless about how to approach her at all."
"Just with that, Ying Zhong, you show that you understand part of her already," Zi Wei smiled. "I can't tell you what to say to Ji Xiang, but I can tell you this. Yong Qi would appreciate you speaking to him before you approach Ji Xiang about it."
Zi Wei found that she had to hold back another smile at the intimidated look on Ying Zhong's face. "Can't I just go ask Huang Shang to decree this match instead?"
"And you think that would get you out of speaking to your uncle?" Zi Wei said, raising an eyebrow. "Yong Qi would not let you within anywhere near Ji Xiang if he didn't know your intentions were honourable, and don't think you don't have to prove it to him. If you can't show that you would at least to go some effort for Ji Xiang, Yong Qi would never be prevailed to let her go, even to you, decree or no decree."
Ying Zhong frowned, almost petulantly, "I know. But I've only just known him for a couple of months, E'niang. It's still a very intimidating prospect, even more so than speaking to my grandfather."
"Again, that is rather the point," Zi Wei smiled. "But don't worry, I dare say he would find the conversation just as awkward as you do."
"Is that supposed to comfort me, E'niang?"
"No, but it might put you in perspective. Trust me, Ying Zhong, this would be a lot harder if you've known both her and her father all your life."
"Somehow I doubt that," Ying Zhong sighed.
"Would you like to sit or stand while we have this conversation?" Yong Qi asked, his face neutral, as Ying Zhong requested to speak to him that day.
"You're not going to make this easy for me, are you, sir?" Ying Zhong said ruefully.
Yong Qi could only smile slightly. He knew this conversation would come, sooner or later, but a few months ago, he would not have expected it like this, and that it would be with someone as Fu Ying Zhong. He had fond memories of his nephew as a child, and certainly he had grown to be a very worthy young man, but then again Yong Qi could not have expected any less of a son of Er Kang and Zi Wei.
"You do realise," he answered, "that is is probably going to be my only chance at a conversation such as this?"
"And in truth, I never expected I would actually have to - well - ask for this, or that I would have such a choice. I confess I have always expected to just...obey on this matter," Ying Zhong admitted.
"You will always have some choices, Ying Zhong," Yong Qi said, shaking his head. "Even if Huang Shang made a decision for you, it will always be your choice whether to obey it, and in matters such as this, it is not a question whether you would be right or wrong in obeying it. Or at least, that is my opinion, but whether Huang Shang would take the same view - well, I suppose that would depend when you speak to him about it. But tell me, why are we here?"
He could see Ying Zhong visibly taking a deep breath. "I would like to ask your permission to court your daughter, Ji Xiang and make my intentions known to her."
"And what are your intentions, young man?"
"As much as I don't wish to speak of it yet before I really know from Ji Xiang of her feelings, but I can assure you that my intentions are honourable. I hope, that with her consent, as well as yours and your blessing, that I might marry her one day."
Yong Qi continued to look at the young man in front of him for a long moment. It would challenge his judgement too much to think of him as his nephew now. But even then, Yong Qi could recognise that this conversation was just as uneasy for Ying Zhong as it was for him. Yong Qi knew that right then, he was holding himself as the prince he truly was and was born as, and that Ying Zhong felt the rank keenly. It showed in the slightly insecure expression on the younger man's face. Surely Ying Zhong must know that there can't be reasons for Yong Qi object to this at all, and yet it was obvious that Ying Zhong was still not confident that he would receive a favourable reply. And Yong Qi could not have it any other way. He would probably think a lot less of Ying Zhong if he was so overly confident in this conversation.
"I confess, I cannot find anything to object in you," Yong Qi said. "But perhaps the one concern I have is whether this is truly your choice, and really what you want."
"You doubt it, sir?" Ying Zhong asked, looking flustered.
Yong Qi smiled reassuringly. "I do not doubt you nor your intentions. But I know that you are aware, at least, of your parents' wishes, and I can understand if somehow, through that, you have convinced yourself that that is your wish as well. Because believe it or not, I know what it is like to be in your position and at such an age, to have those expectations on you and to be convinced of something being true and right because of those expectations. I just want you to make sure you have sorted out exactly what you want, and what you think you want. I would not have you delude yourself or Ji Xiang."
"To be honest, if my parents ever expressed such a wish, I would feel myself compelled to obey. But my mother has explicitly expressed the opposite, that I don't take it upon myself to have to comply with such implicit wishes. I have honestly rarely seen my mother more insistent on any subject as the fact that I should be considering my own feelings on this matter, especially regarding Ji Xiang. And I assure you that even I have questioned myself on the real motivation behind my feelings. But truly, I am as convinced as I could ever be that my feelings for Ji Xiang are totally sincere. I could not possibly dream of making any intention that would affect her happiness if I wasn't sure of that."
Again, Yong Qi didn't answer right away. He was aware of the fact that Ying Zhong had yet to speak of any affection such as love. It should have concerned him, but then he had to remind himself that Ying Zhong was neither him nor Er Kang. Yong Qi could tell that, somehow, Ying Zhong was trying to protect both Ji Xiang's heart and his own, that he would not let himself feel too much until knew that Ji Xiang would accept those feelings. Yong Qi didn't understand how that was possible, to be so in control of one's heart, when he, himself, had been in the middle of loving Xiao Yan Zi before he even realised it. In fact, he was sure Er Tai was aware of it even before he was.
Ying Zhong was probably more rational than either he or Er Kang ever was in the matter of the hearts. Yong Qi was sure that he liked Ji Xiang well enough, but he was determined to know her more before knowingly giving his heart. Yong Qi wasn't sure if that was anything he or Er Kang ever did. Now, in a more prudent light, Ying Zhong might end up having more peace than he or Er Kang did.
"You do realise all the implications that marrying Ji Xiang would bring, do you not? No one must ever know who she truly is."
"I understand, and I know that everyone would be wondering where she comes from, especially when she will, undoubtedly, enjoy a lot of attention from Huang Shang. I imagine it would be rather awkward, and perhaps we might not even escape some suspicion, but I should hope it would die down, eventually. If it disturbs me, it is only because it might be uncomfortable for Ji Xiang to encounter it. But I suspect, or at least I hope, that Ji Xiang would not have to suffer the same pressures as her mother did."
Yong Qi could not help but chuckle here, and agreed, "No, she would not. But then I admit that on this matter, I trust your mother to be help her and that a lot of my approval of you is an extension of my trust in your parents and that they have raised you well."
"I would not wish for you to approve of my without approval for my family, too," Ying Zhong smiled back. But then, more seriously, he continued, "But I hope you will believe that I will do everything in my power to ensure Ji Xiang's comfort and happiness, including seeking my mother's assistance in helping her adjust to the palace, and more. Already, I have too much affection for Ji Xiang to see her being unhappy here, so far away from her family, and to ever give her reason to regret being here."
Yong Qi looked bemusedly at Ying Zhong, and at that moment, he could see already the day when he would be letting Ji Xiang go to him. It wasn't quite a sense of sadness, really, but it suddenly make him hope that Ru Yi would not grow up quite so fast, now.
"Well, if you can love her, and have her love you enough to want to stay, then you know I cannot refuse either of you anything that would make Ji Xiang happy, Ying Zhong," Yong Qi said finally. "For in truth, I would not be able to trust Ji Xiang with anyone less than you. But for now, you have my consent and blessing to court her."
"That means I still have to ask again for her hand, won't I?" Ying Zhong asked nervously.
Yong Qi couldn't hold back a smile, "Yes, but if you manage to get Ji Xiang to accept you, then the combined wishes of my wife, my sister and my daughter will be heavy indeed that I likely cannot refuse."
Ying Zhong entered his mother's sitting room to find her and his aunt together. As they looked up at him, Xiao Yan Zi said, a sly smile on her face, "Ji Xiang is in the garden."
"I'm sorry?" he asked, pretending to not understand.
"Ji Xiang is in the garden," she repeated.
"I was not looking for Ji Xiang," he said, quite untruthfully.
"If you say so."
"You know, Ji Xiang, this might be a big house, but it's only so big, and I know it better than you. You can't keep avoiding me like this," Ying Zhong said wearily.
He and Ji Xiang had caught sight of each other in the garden, and Ji Xiang had turned to go in the opposite direction. But with his longer legs, he was faster and soon caught up with her.
"Can you not do this?" he asked, as even when facing him, she didn't speak.
"Do what?" she asked stiffly, not quite looking at him.
"Avoid me, be so suddenly silent, so that I have to guess at what you're feeling, what you're thinking. I am very bad at guessing the mind of females, Ji Xiang. I will admit that, at least."
"What do you want me to say?"
"Why are you not speaking to me?" he asked frankly.
"Why do you not speak to me?" she asked back. "You know this house better than I and I am sure you could have found me if you wanted to."
"Yes," he admitted. "But you didn't want my presence, and I can't impose my presence on someone who didn't want it. Especially you."
"Especially me?"
"I confess I have no idea how to act around you, sometimes, Ji Xiang, knowing as I do, who you are. By right, you rank higher than me; by right, I should defer to you. But when I do, you are so uncomfortable that I can't bear to put you through that discomfort. But to treat you like you wish goes against all the principles of rank I have been taught. So right now I have no idea how to say what I want to say - what I must say - to you. It never occured to me..."
She was looking at him curiously when he trailed off. He didn't know whether he could push on, to say what he really wanted to say.
"What?" she prompted, after he didn't say anything for a long time.
"Considering Huang Shang's favour on my parents, I have always expected that I would end up marrying a princess, it was only a matter of who. And now I know who. It just never occured to me that I would actually have to tell her how I feel and ask her. I always thought it would be decided for me."
She couldn't possibly not know what he was trying to say, even if she still remained silent, and let him stop talking. They stood together in silence, until it was Ying Zhong who spoke again.
"I want to tell you what I set out now to say, Ji Xiang. But I cannot do that if I don't know why you are so suddenly distant. Will you not tell me why you seem so upset lately with me?"
"Can you not tell?" she challenged stubbornly. "Surely someone as intelligent as you must understand."
"But I confess I do not!" Ying Zhong said, almost exasperatedly. "All I know is that it starts with my brother mentioning Hui Fang Ge Ge's attention to me. But I had supposed that you would be rational enough to realise that I couldn't help her attentions, nor I could ignore her or tell her to go away when she bestowed such attention, no matter how unwanted."
"Then now you must know that I am irrational and selfish," she cried, "that I cannot bear the idea of you receiving and giving so much attention to another female. It is even more irrational when you consider that I have no claim on you, no right to say you cannot accept such attentions!"
"Surely you are not jealous of Hui Fang!"
"Jealous, no!" Ji Xiang exclaimed, while her tone implied the opposite. "Why should I be jealous when you apparently have been paying attention to another girl and just now you are implying that you are seeking something more than just friendship from me as well?"
Ying Zhong could not help but stare at her, shocked. "Your opinion of me is decidedly so low?" he asked, his voice rough with disappointment. "That you would assume I would play with both your feelings and Hui Fang's like that?"
To her credit, Ji Xiang did look a little ashamed, but she still said stubbornly, "It certainly seems that way."
Ying Zhong couldn't do anything but pace out his annoyance before her. It was a while before he found he could control his disappointment enough to face her again. He said gravely, "I set out to find you today with every intention of telling you that I prefer you to any lady I know and could very well be on the way of loving you, and to ask that you would let me have the chance to know you better, so that my affection can grow in that direction. And yet - and yet I find, instead, that this is your opinion of me!"
Ji Xiang blinked at the frank confession and for several minutes didn't know what to say. Then, finally, she said stiffly, as if trying to gather all her pride to preserve herself for what must come now, "Then I am glad I have saved you the time. If you had spent time to know me, you would undoubtedly be aware of this deficiency in my character later, so perhaps it's better that you know now, so you might save yourself the trouble, so that you can let go of your plans now, rather than later."
She turned abruptly to go, but Ying Zhong held her back. He knew she would not face him again now, but contented himself with addressing her, knowing that she still had to hear, even if she didn't want to.
"It would speak less of both of us if I didn't try to change your low opinion of me. If I were to let you go now, I am only subjecting myself to hurt pride and showing that I think you incapable of hearing the truth," he said, more gently than their earlier conversation would predict. The tone apparently had an appeasing effect on Ji Xiang. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before facing him.
"You do not have to try to court me to please either my parents or yours, if you don't want to. I will tell them - "
"What if I do want to?" he asked, interrupting a speech that he was sure could only pain her.
"But what about - "
Again, Ying Zhong didn't let her finish, and just let out a rough sigh. "You have siblings, surely you must know they take delight in teasing you and making you uncomfortable, especially if they can get away with it! I did speak to Hui Fang Ge Ge the other day, yes, but I didn't spend the night exclusively in her company. I spoke to other people as well. My brother simply chose to highlight out Hui Fang because we are close in age and in another other circumstances, Huang Shang probably would begin to see her as a match for me. But as neither do I have an inclination in that way for her, nor did Huang Shang give an indication that he wanted me to think in that direction, the point is moot. I do not know what she thinks, but I do know she understands that without Huang Shang's approval, it would never come to anything."
He paused a moment to let her have all that sink in, then plunged on, before he lost the courage to say what he set out to say.
"The truth is, until I met you, I have never met any girl who sufficiently aroused enough interest for me to think about courtship and marriage. Surely if Huang Shang chose someone for me, I would comply, but until you, I have never considered it, or thought about it. But you - from the beginning of our acquaintance, you have intrigued me more than I cared to admit at the beginning, and I have never felt so drawn to anyone as I am to you! And I never thought I would have a choice in the matter, but now that my mother assures me I do, then there is no question of who my choice would be."
Ji Xiang looked flushed now, as if she hardly dared to believe everything he said. "Are you sure that you are simply not convincing yourself to feel this way to please our parents? Because I know that our mothers at least have certain wishes and I cannot see myself being in your company like this simply because my mother wished it."
He thought of pointing out his complete opposite view of this, but decided that could not help him at the moment. It might only make her think that he was pointing out that he was more inclined to obey his parents and she was not, and that he was criticising her. But then, it was precisely the knowledge that she would not simply just oblige her parents on a matter like this that gave him more encouragement and hope. He knew that if she accepted him, it would be for him and for herself, not because of anything between their parents.
"Neither my parents nor yours would want me to seek your company simply to appease them," he pointed out. "I have mentioned that for most of my life, I always expected to not have a choice in the matter of marriage; but then it would likely not be my parents' either, but Huang Shang's. You remember the conversation we had once, about your father's marriages and how my sister declared a very cynical view of her own future marriage. It is, unfortunately, a product of having grown up knowing that our marriage partner would be chosen for us. But whatever Xuan Zhuang said, and whatever I said to justify your father's second marriage to you, the truth is, we have grown up witnessing our parents' happiness and we know such happiness is possible. And as such, of course we do wish for such a choice and for such happiness in our own marriages, even if we dared not hope it would actually come true before. And now, for the first time in my life, I realise I do have that choice and that I can choose. Given that choice, I'm not about to throw it away again to choose someone - whether it's you or anyone - simply because my parents want it."
He paused again, but still she didn't answer. She just looked at him with something like wonder, as if she still could not believe what he was saying. He stepped closer to her and took her hand. For the first time, he took her hand, out of affection, and not simply to help her.
"Why am I doing all the talking?" he asked, smiling now. "I have told you why I looked for you today and the reasons behind it. Surely now it is your turn to speak."
"I don't understand why," she said hesitantly, "now that you have such a choice, that that choice would be me."
"Do you think so lowly of yourself?" he asked in wonder. "Surely it cannot be a matter of rank, for now you know who your father really is, you cannot think yourself beneath me!"
"I wish both you and my father would not remind me of that," she said ruefully. "I admit it's not something I have come to terms with yet, and frankly I would not wish it to be your reason for choosing me."
"I assure you it's not," he said gently. "I will not sing you praises of your beauty, because your brother once told me you hated such compliments. You must know how much I admire your intelligence and your good sense. I have ever since you managed to get rid of Rong Wang Fei so effectively! You don't know that not many people would be able to just take her subtle interrogation like you did. You didn't like her and you were uncomfortable with the situation but you endured it for both your parents' sake. And you are not like other girls I know, Ji Xiang, you are not afraid to be impertinent when it's needed."
Ji Xiang laughed and blushed a little at this. "I can't imagine that that's a good thing."
"It is," he assured her, "or life would be rather boring. But you know, none of that is as important as how completely comfortable and at ease I feel when I am with you, as I have rarely felt with anyone outside of my family before, and how we seem to connect when we are together. I know you have felt it too, Ji Xiang, and it is the very reason that makes you so uncomfortable at the idea that I might have the same connection with Hui Fang, isn't it?"
"I felt it," she admitted timidly, averting her eyes downward. But Ying Zhong noticed her hand still stayed clapsed in his. "Perhaps more than I realised at the time, but I feel it stronger than ever now. But you know I cannot be rational where you are concerned, as I have just showed. Would you want that? Can you accept that?"
Ying Zhong just smiled, "Ji Xiang, I know for a fact that love makes even my father - the most rational man I know - become very irrational. Love makes a fool of us all. While I dare not hope to call either your feelings or mine love just yet - or perhaps not the kind of love we both see everyday in our parents - but would you at least let us walk that way?"
Ji Xiang smiled, widely, joyfully, for the first time since they started that conversation. Ying Zhong could not help but widen his own smile at such a beautiful sight. Then what Ji Xiang said next, while it was not the affirmative answer he was looking for, it still left Ying Zhong in no doubt of what her answer was, and it also made him laugh. She said, "You know, I don't mind compliments of my beauty so much, as long as they are sincere, for no female person could really hate being called pretty by someone dear to them."
Ji Xiang wished that Jian Jun would not look so terribly concerned and would simply just be happy for her. It made her wonder why she even confided in him in the first place, if he would look this bothered by it.
He was pacing impatiently in front of her and still had not said anything ever since she told him of what had developed between her and Ying Zhong. Even their father was happy enough for her, though he did look at her with a sort of sad expression that told her he was still a tad reluctant at letting her go. But Jian Jun, who she was closest to, looked the least happy.
"Are you sure, Ji Xiang?" he asked finally. The expression on his face was stern as he faced her.
"Are you not at all pleased about any of this?" Ji Xiang asked, annoyed. "I don't see why you are so not happy about it! You act as if I have announced an attempt to - I don't know - join a brothel or something!"
"It's not funny, Ji Xiang," her twin snapped.
"Neither is your apparently foul temper about all of this! Will you just tell me what you find so horrible about this?"
"I don't - I want to be happy for you, Ji Xiang," Jian Jun finally said in a more gentle tone. "I do! I have nothing against Fu Ying Zhong. He's a perfectly nice person. But it's just - are you sure you've thought about this thoroughly?"
"You apparently think I haven't," she complained. "But you haven't told me why, still!"
"If - when - you marry him - "
"If!"
"Fine, if, as if it's even a question of if! But whatever! If you marry him, you will have to stay here, in Beijing, miles and miles away from the rest of your family. Can you do that? Have you even thought about it?"
Ji Xiang sighed heavily, "I'm not marrying him right this moment, you know. And I know what accepting his addresses now would eventually lead to and yes, I know that if - ok, fine, when I marry him, I will have to stay here in Beijing. It will be far away from you and everyone, and no, I have never thought I would actually go to Beijing to marry. I will miss you, our whole family, but Jian Jun, the thing is, if he could love me like Father loves Mother, or even half as much, if he could make me that happy, would you really rather I stay away from him? Would you prevent me from having my happiness becuase I would be too far away?"
"Would you be happy, Ji Xiang? Can he love you like that? Can you love him as you ought?"
"Everything I know of him so far tells me yes," she said honestly. "Maybe I don't feel it so strongly yet, but I'm sure time can only strengthen it. No one has ever made me feel safe like he does, Jian Jun. I'm not even sure what about him that does it, or how he does it, but all this time I've been here, of his entire family, he's the one I feel closest to. And he somehow just seem to know how I feel all the time, and even if I know those feelings are unreasonable, he would still understand."
Ji Xiang knew Jian Jun could not contradict or counter anything she'd just said. She knew that he himself saw enough of Ying Zhong's attentiveness to her to know that she wasn't just making things up to gratify her own fancy.
"And what of the palace?" he sighed.
"What of it? Considering his position and his parents' position, I would have to come to the palace and be known to people there, while no one must ever know who I really am. I can't even imagine how that would be yet. It won't be comfortable but there are allowances to be made for any family I would ever marry into. But I do know, even now, that Ying Zhong would be there for me through that and support me through that. And that's all that matters."
"Really?" Jian Jun asked. "You know, Mother probably thought that once - "
"Ying Zhong isn't Father, Jian Jun! He doens't have prospects for the throne over his head! It's not the same!" she exclaimed. "Do you honestly think our father would let Ying Zhong court me if he thought it would just become like everything he and Mother went through? I won't be living in the palace, I will still just be here!"
"I still don't like it, Ji Xiang!"
"Just because you think I would be uncomfortable with the imperial court? You can't have anything against Ying Zhong or his family. In fact, I know you like him and I know you don't doubt his sincerity. Even if you do doubt his feelings for me or mine for him, well, seeing as we will be here for a while yet, you will have plenty of time to see it for yourself."
"It's none of that! It's simply that I cannot protect you when you are so far away," he finally admitted.
Ji Xiang just stared at her brother for a moment, fighting back the urge to laugh, or to hug him.
Now she knew what exactly bothered her twin so much. It wasn't Ying Zhong, or Beijing, or the palace, or even distance. It was the idea of their life changing at all. But how much had it changed these past few months!
"Oh, Ge," she said affectionately. "You will have to let me go, eventually, you know. Father had realised that. Surely you must as well."
"Ji Xiang, you can't blame me for not wanting to let you go to a man who shot you with an arrow the first moment you came within shooting range of him!"
"You know, if everyone thought like you, we would never have been born," she laughed.
"True," he admitted grudgingly. "But my worries are not without foundation, Ji Xiang."
"No," she agreed. "And you must know they must be things that Father would have thought over more than once before he even considered this idea. If he trusts Ying Zhong enough, shouldn't you?"
"You mean Father trusts Ying Zhong's parents, because he can't know Ying Zhong better than us!"
"But he knows our aunt and uncle, and he is sure that they would not let even their son to take advantage of me. And maybe in this matter, you should trust my judgement a bit as well, Ge. If I am sure I can be happy, will you be happy for me and give me your blessing?"
"Somehow I don't think you ever need my blessing, Ji Xiang."
"No, here you are wrong. I do. Just because I might marry Ying Zhong doesn't I need you less or that you are any less my brother!"
"You say that now," Jian Jun answered, definitely forlornly.
"Ge, no one will ever replace you, you know. Not even Ying Zhong. Not anyone! If Ying Zhong ever bullies me I promise you will be the first person I call on, even before Father, and then you can do whatever you want with him."
Jian Jun didn't answer right away. He just looked at her for a long time. Then finally, he tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and said softly, "I just never thought it would be like this, that you'd marry before me, or that it would be so far away. I always thought you'd be in Dali where I'd be able to keep an eye on you."
Ji Xiang scoffed at the idea, but she could not help but appreciate the sentiments behind the words.
Jian Jun continued, rather sadly, "You weren't ever supposed to grow up, you know."
Ji Xiang smiled. "We're twins, Jian Jun. If I didn't grow up, neither would you."
"You know I'll miss you."
"I'm not going anywhere yet!" she reminded him, but she knew what he meant. "We're still going to be here together for a long while."
"I know. But I'll miss you still."
"I'll miss you too," she whispered, trying to smile, because if she didn't, she'd cry. "But you know, we might end up having another sister so you can be insufferably protective of her."
"But she'd never be you."
This time, Ji Xiang did hug him. She couldn't remember the last time she hugged him like this, but right then, she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his shoulder. Jian Jun folded his own arms around her tightly, as if he never intended to let her go now that he had her in his arms.
"It's going to be ok, you know," she said. "I know it won't be the same, but I won't ever stop being your sister. I'll always need you. Don't ever doubt that, at least."
"I must say right now I am tempted to symphathise with Jian Jun," Yong Qi said wryly to Xiao Yan Zi, having not missed his eldest son's none-too-happy expression at the idea of Ying Zhong and Ji Xiang. "When did they all grow up anyway?"
"Only in the last sixteen years," Xiao Yan Zi smiled, but she knew the sense of loss that her husband was feeling. It was bittersweet, not entirely unwelcome, but somehow it still managed to take them by surprise. "It's strange, as much as I thought about the idea of the two of them, I would think that it wouldn't come as a surprise to me to see them finally together. But...it still is a surprise."
"I'm beginning to understand why Huang Ah Ma delayed our marriages so much."
Xiao Yan Zi laughed. "Well, your comfort shall be that they probably won't be marrying until just before we leave Beijing, which is still some time yet. Or at least, I can see you procrastinating as much as possible on that matter. But he will do well for her, don't you think?"
"Yes, they will be good together," he agreed. "You know I would not have agreed if I thought otherwise."
Xiao Yan Zi raised an eyebrow slightly, "As Ying Zhong tells me, you haven't agreed to let him marry her yet."
"Yet," Yong Qi smiled. "If I am going to be giving her away, I must reserve some right of extorting as much discomfort from the person who's taking her away from me as possible. I only have two daughters, and I am trying to still hold on to the hopeless myth that Ru Yi is still but a child and won't be contemplating marriage for a long, long, long time yet."
"You have two daughters for now, my love," Xiao Yan Zi smiled, placing a hand on her stomach.
Yong Qi smiled back and said, "I know a conventional approach would be to hope for a son, but I must admit that daughters can be a lot more fun to raise."
Xiao Yan Zi laughed, "Oh, Yong Qi, you really are incorrigible sometimes!"
"And so are you, which means we do very well together!"