Broken Chapter 2: lyrics of the past, a twilight fanfic

Chapter 2

Bella's pov

"Alright class," Mrs. Carlson, our thirty-something music teacher, started writing something on the board. "Today, we are going to answer three questions and you are going to answer them with a song title and their artists. Understand?" she asked turning around to look at the small group in the large room. "Whoa, looks like we'll be done before I thought," she mused to herself.

Edward and I were sitting across from each other as we glanced at the board and then each other. "What does she want us to do?" I asked whispering to him as I reached for two pieces of paper and a pencil from my bag.

"Answer the questions on the board in song titles and their artist," he replied grabbing one of the pieces of paper from my desk and turned back to the board.

"Thanks for saying her words in you voice," I said sarcastically rolling my eyes. "But I kind of was hoping for an easier way of understanding it…in our words."

"Oh…" he said nodding thinking it over. "Ok, the first question is: What song represents your personality? Mine would probably be, Dare you to move by Switchfoot." He said thoughtfully before writing it down, and looking back up at me. "Understand now, Bella?"

A small smile spread across my face as I thought over my songs. I raised my hand and waited to be called on. "Um…can the artist be someone not SO famous?" she looked at me skeptically before nodding and looked back to the IPod home she was messing around with. "Press the big green button then place your IPod inside the rectangle spot." I advised before writing down the answers to the questions.

Twenty minutes later, I scanned over my paper and nodded at the songs:

What song represents your personality: Everybody's fool by Evanescence

What song represents your out look on relationships: Sally's song by Bella Swan

What song represents your thoughts as you walk into your home: Hello by Evanescence

"I'm so glad we don't have to sing these aloud," I muttered to myself in relief as I thought about the humiliation.

A note landed in front of me, I glanced around and Edward smirked and motioned me to open it. I did so reading:

'Actually we do! She just said so…Edward' I wrote back:

'You're kidding right?'

'Nope! Y r u scared?'

'I'm not! I'm just nervous…'

'Y?'

'U'v never heard me sing before…'

'Yea I have…in tech remember, 30 seconds to mars…the kill? Ring any bells?'

'Oh…didn't know u was listening…shit! But I sill suck!'

'Ha-ha yea right! Did u not hear Jasper? What he said about ur singing was true! Ur great! An by the looks of ur paper u write also…'

'…'

'u will b fine. Calm down. Lay back. Chillax. Take a chill. Wait for ur turn and then let all ur emotions flow with ur words. U'll live.'

After that little boost of confidence I smiled at him and nodded "Thanks, Edward," I whispered as Angela got done with her personality song 'What a girl wants by Christina Aguilera.'

"Thank you, Angela, for that great performance. Edward Cullen…" she called as we both looked up to her, "…your song, please."

He nodded slowly standing up nervously "Yes Mrs. Carlson…" he sounded nervous.

"Calm down, take five deep breathes, think of the words and then let all of your emotions go." I whispered his words to him softly and smiled up at him handing him my headphones and iPod. "The song instrumental is on there. Just press play and I'll be there."

He nodded slowly before looking at the teacher and the rest of the class, "My personality song is Dare you to move by Switchfoot." He took a deep breath before pressing play.

(Listen o music if you don't know the song.)

'Welcome to the

Planet

Welcome to existence.

Everyone's here,

Everyone's here

Everybody's watching

You now.

Everybody waits

For you now.

What happens next?

I dare you to move.

I dare you to lift yourself

Off the floor.

I dare you to move.

Like today never happened

Today never happened

Before.'

I nearly died at the sound of his voice, as did everyone else. "Wow…" I whispered and I heard echoes of that single word go out the classroom.

'Welcome to the fallout.

Welcome to resistance.

The tension is here.

Between who are

And who you could be.

Between how it is

And how it should be.

I dare you to move.

I dare you to lift yourself up

Off the floor.

I dare you to move.

Like today never happened.

Today never happened

Maybe redemption

Has stories to tell.

Maybe forgiveness is

Right where you fell.

Where can you run

To escape from

Yourself?

Where you gonna go?

Salvation is here.

I dare you to move.

I dare you to lift yourself up

Off the floor.

I dare you to move.

Like today never happened.

Today never happened

Today never happened.

Today never happened

Before.'

Once he finished he handed my Ipod back and said something, but I didn't really catch it due to the roar that the class made. I smiled and clapped and cheered along with them.

"Well," Mrs. Carlson started jotting some notes on her clipboard, "looks as if we have a singer in the class." She then clapped as did everyone else. "Now Bella Swan…your turn."

"Fuck…" I muttered softly as I grabbed my IPod and changed it to my song. "Ok, um my personality song is Everybody's fool by Evanescence."

I took a deep breath and made everyone, excluding Edward and I, in the classroom disappear and pressed play.

'Perfect by

Nature

Icons of Self

Indulgence

Just what we all need

More lies about a world

That never was and

Never will be

Have no shame?

Don't see me?

You know you've got

Everybody fooled

Look here she

Comes now

Bow down and

Stare in wonder

Oh how we love

You

No flaws when

You're pretending

But now I know she

Never was and

Never will be

You don't know

How you've

Betrayed me.

And somehow

You've got

Everybody fooled.

Without the mask

Where will you

Hide?

Can't find

Yourself,

Lost in your lie.

I know the truth

Now.

I know who you

Are.

And I don't love you

Anymore.

It never was and

Never will be

You don't know

How you've

Betrayed me.

And somehow

You've got

Everybody fooled

It never was and

Never will be

You're not real

And you can't save me!

But somehow

Now you're

Everybody's fool!'

I stopped and allowed everyone to 'reappear'. All was silent and everyone had their eyes wide and their jaws hanging open. I could feel the warm blush creeping up my neck and onto my face, as I sat down in humiliation. "Told you," I scowled at Edward, who was just like everyone else in the classroom. I opened my mouth to say something before I heard, "WHOOO!" coming from the door way. I jumped nearly four feet in the air as it broke the silence. I turned to look at the door way to find Jasper and two other people standing in the door way.

"I told you, you were good," he said with a smug grin leaning against the door frame.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "What do you want, Jasper? I'm kind of in a class that you're not in." I said impatiently.

He began to speak but before anything of a word left his lips, there was an up roar of cheers and claps from all around me. I timidly darted my eyes from face-to-face seeing people smiling, whistling, and cheering me on. "Thanks," I whispered to Edward as he slung his arm over my shoulder. "For the boost of confidence I mean." I said quickly as I turned back to Jasper.

"Oh, yea Edward," Jasper called out, everyone began quieting down. "Alice, Rose, Emmet, and I are going home a little earlier than usual. You in?" he asked glancing in my direction for some odd reason.

"No Jasper. I'll stay this time; just don't take my Volvo, please?" Edward was practically begging him no to take his precious baby Volvo.

"Oh hush Edward," the blonde girl beside Jasper and the other guy spoke running her hand through her long blonde hair. "No ones taking your stupid silver Volvo." They were about to leave when the girl suddenly turned around and stared right at me. "You're really good, Bella, don't ever le anyone tell you you're not." Then they were off.

I sat down, dumbfounded "What was that supposed to mean?" I mumbled quietly as Elaine stood up to sing her song that represents her out look on relationships, Bleeding love by Leona Lewis.

'Are you nervous?' Edward passed me a note after David started singing his.

'Completely. I mean I wrote this one. Music and lyrics.'

'Really? How did you come up with the lyrics?'

'Don't laugh…a dream.'

'Ha-ha! What? A dream? Ur serious? That's like the oldest way to figure something out in the book!'

'I know! But you see my friend Sally…she died and she always told me I was an amazing singer and I loved writing my own songs. So when we were friends I promised I would name a song after her. Here it is!'

'Well, I'm sure she'd be glad u r going to sing it in front of people instead of in ur shower!'

'Ha-ha! So what's yours?'

"Edward, your turn." Mrs. Carlson called just as I passed it to him.

He smiled slyly at me "Actually Mrs. Carlson, I was wondering if Bella could go before me this time. I need a drink of water." With that he went to the back of the class and o the mini fridge. "Go ahead Bella. I don't mind."

I narrowed my eyes at him "Damn you," I muttered as I made my way to the front of the room. "Um…I wrote this one myself. So it needs to have the instrumental part playing in the classroom. No ones ever heard it but me and my cat, Serena." The front row laughed at my joke but it was true, only I and my cat had heard me singing the song and making the music.

"Are the lyrics on the music, Bella?" Mrs. Carlson asked nodding to my IPod.

I shook my head "No, actually I'm looking for the perfect person to sing it, so I could go ahead and put it on a CD." I replied pulling the song to the screen and turning the volume a little more. "It's called Sally's song." I took a deep breath and pressed play, once again making everyone in the room disappear except Edward and I.

'I sense there's something in the wind

That feels like tragedies at hand.

And though I'd like to stand by him,

Can't shake this feeling that I have.

The worst is just around the bend.

And does he notice

My feeling for him?

And will he see

How much he means to me?

I think it's not to be.'

As I sang the rest of the class became visible again and they were nodding to the music and Mrs. Carlson was speechless. I just continued to stare at Edward, who was now sitting his water bottle on the counter and slowly making his way to our seats. I smiled and continued, moving my fingers against my leg as if it were my keyboard at home.

'What will become of my dear friend?

Where will his actions lead us then?

Although I'd like to join the crowd

In their enthusiastic cloud

Try as I may it doesn't last.

And will we ever end up together?

Oh...

(Instrumental)

And will we ever, end up together?

No I think not.

It's never to become,

For I am not

The one...'

(Originally by Amy lee; listen to the song as you read it.)

Instead of waiting for them to clap, I snatched my IPod and dashed to my seat as soon as the last key was stroked. "Oh wow. That was fun." I exclaimed as everyone laughed and clapped once again.

Edward gazed at me in wonder and awe, "That was amazing Bella. Sally would have been proud of you." I smiled a small one and let one lone tear fall as he wrapped me in a hug. "Thank you," I whispered into his chest and he nodded puling away and looking at Mrs. Carlson who was looking at Edward and I in awe and amazement.

"Edward you're up," she announced after everyone had settled down into their seats and were quiet.

"Actually, Mrs. Carlson," Edward replied looking down at me again, "I'm going to need a partner for this one."

"Which one?" Sarah, a preppy chick who had threw herself at Edward in the hallway before we scurried to this room.

"Broken," he answered smiling down at me as I smiled back, one of my favorites and his too. "By Amy Lee and Seether. I need someone who knows that song. Bella?"

I nodded still smiling as he looked at the teach. "Well I was actually hoping to hear what you two sounded like together anyway, so yea it'll be fine as long as both of you know the song."

I stood up beside Edward and together we made our way to the front of the class and plugged in my IPod. We turned to each other and let the rest of the world melt away…

(Edward= bold, Bella=regular, Edward and Bella= bold, underline)

'I wanted you to know,

That I love the way you laugh,

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain…away.

I keep your photograph; and I know

It serves me well

I wanna hold you high and still your pain…

Because I'm broken,

When I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right

When you're gone away.

You've gone away…you

Don't feel me…here…

Anymore…

The worst is over now

And we can breathe again

I wanna hold you high…

You steal my pain…

Away…

There's so much left to learn

And no one left to fight,

I wanna hold you high

And steal your pain!

Cuz I'm broken,

When I'm open and,

I don't feel like I am,

Strong enough.

Cause I'm broken,

When I'm lonesome,

And I don't feel right,

When you're gone away,

(Instrumental)

Cuz I'm broken,

When I'm open and,

I don't feel like I am,

Strong enough.

Cause I'm broken,

When I'm lonesome,

And I don't feel right,

When you're gone away,

Cause I'm broken,

When I'm lonesome,

And I don't feel right,

When you're gone…

You've gone away…

You

Don't feel me…here…

Anymore…'

We were both breathing heavily as we finished. We both looked at Mrs. Carlson, who had dropped her pen and was leaning against the wall. "That was a thrill," Edward said aloud and everyone erupted into frenzy. "If people are going to act like this I am never singing again." Edward muttered in my ear as we made our way back to our seats.

"Dude what a rush," I gasped chugging my water bottle half-way own then placing it on the desk. "One more song. Thank god it's a slow, soft one."

"Easy for you to say," he grumbled snatching my bottle and chugging the rest as I scowled. "I got to sing friggin' Three Days Grace."

I was still scowling at my now empty water bottle "Loser," I muttered as I snatched it back and stuffed it in my bag. "Which Three Days Grace song?" I asked pulling out my IPod and stared scrolling.

"Home."

I rolled my eyes "How original."

"Oh…then what's yours?" he asked taking the iPod from my hands.

"Hello by Evanescence," I shrugged holding back the tears that were threatening to spill into my eye lids. I hoped he didn't notice, though Edward, being Edward, he would have noticed and not said a thing. "God if someone sings Barbie Girl one more time I'm going to shoot myself in the head." I snickered mentally saying the same. "I'm serious! These girls have to have any other lives that aren't plastic and fantastic."

I laughed out loud, trying not to be too loud and nodded silently. "Hush, before you get us in trouble." I said through my laughs.

"You're next…" Mrs. Carlson sighed pointing at Prince, some guy that hit on me in seventh grade.

He stood and walked to the front "What's up, Forks High School?!" he hollered in his make-shift microphone. I glanced at Edward while he tried to grab my ipod. "No," I hissed pulling it away and into my pocket.

"Please…"he pleaded pouting his red lips and making the best puss-in-boots eyes I have eve seen.

I nearly laugh as I broke and handed them to him, "I can't believe you just broke me," I chuckled as he laughed silently going through my songs.

Every time he saw a song that he knew, or liked, or was surprised to see, his eyes would widen slightly, his eyebrows would raise slightly in confusion or question, I was quite amusing if you really watched him. "liking the songs I'm guessing?" I questioned after he stopped and furiously pressed play.

Edwards' eyes snapped up to mine, it was like time stopped for us. It was as if we were having our own private conversation without even talking. I thought that was only for siblings and soul mates, right? My inner voice asked slightly confused as was I. "Yea…" he said with a gust of air after our moment of silence. "Looks like you've made many other songs besides Sally's song, huh?" he asked slightly flushed.

I felt my neck heat up in embarrassment "Yea…but nothing good enough to put on a CD." I was silent for a moment, "though I think the instrumental only songs are awesome."

He nodded thoughtfully "yes…" he mused to himself as Jackie finished some type of song.

"Ok…Edward," Mrs. Carlson said turning slightly towards us, "you ready?"

He took a deep breath an nodded grabbing my IPod "Yes, ma'am, but I'm going to need the music…it's a major rock song…and if it isn't with the music it sounds horrible."

She nodded writing something down "Whats it called?" she asked not looking up.

"Home by Three Days Grace," he murmured placing my ipod in the spot. Everyone seemed astonished that Edward Cullen would sing such a disturbing song, but I knew that people are not always what they look like on the outside and some people are really good at hiding who they are from people. Me? I could care less what people think of me. I have a fucked up family life…so what? My childhood was full of abuse, drugs, achol, and men…I learned to deal with that. So what? Edward though, people know I'm a head case that cant be figured out, but Edward…he's different. When you see the way he sings, you can see the emotions playing around in his emerald green eyes, you can feel the emotions flying around him when you near, you could hear it in his voice as he sang his lifes' emotions the way real artists do.

"I'll be coming home

Just to be alone,

Cause I know you're not there

And I know that you don't care

I can hardly wait to leave this place,

No matter how hard I try

You're never satisfied

This is not a home

I think I'm better off alone

You always disappear

Even when you're here

This is not my home

I think I'm better off

Alone'

Ok, I know I shouldn't be reading too much into the lyrics but he sounded as if he was in another time…and his eyes were looking far in the distance. 'Did Edward have a life like this before I met him?' I thought shifting uncomfortably as he continued. If anything he sounds better screaming a song than a soft one, in my opinion that is.

'Home, home,

House is not a

Home, home,

This house in not

A home…

By the time you come home

I'm already stoned,

You turn off the TV

And you scream at me,'

Most of the class jumped as he screamed the last word to that verse, except for me. I smiled as he got out his emotions, telling me his past in lyrics and though his eyes, that never left mine once they were locked. He started his way around the room, slightly bouncing his head to the music as was I, except it was my hands and feet at the same time.

'I can hardly wait

Till you get off my case!'

He yelled the last line in Sarah's ear as she yelped and spilt her hot pink nail polish everywhere. I slapped my hand over my mouth as I stifled my laughs. He grinned at me with an evil glint in his eyes, before moving to the next row…two down from mine.

'No matter how hard I try

You're never satisfied.

This is not a home

I think I'm better off alone.

You always disappear

Even when you're here,

This is not my home

I think I'm better off

Alone!

Home, home,

House is not a

Home, home,

This house in not

A home…'

He pause catching his breath as the music went instrumental. He was right beside my desk now, leaning down slightly before falling to his knees beside me. Once I caught his eyes, I knew the next verse was not just the lyrics. He was telling me something.

'I'm better off alone…'

He was telling me he was no good, and he wasn't worth my time. 'More like the other way around,' I thought sourly as I gripped his hands from his hair. Soon he let go and looked back into my eyes, his glistening with unshed tears. I held his hands tightly reassuring him that I wasn't leaving.

'No matter how hard I try

You're never satisfied.

This is not a home

I think I'm better off alone.

You always disappear

Even when you're here,

This is not my home

I think I'm better off

Alone!

Home, home,

House is not a

Home, home,

This house in not

A home…'

As the song ended he whispered in despair quietly "I'm better off alone," I shook my head slightly before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling his head into my shoulder.

"I don't believe that…"I muttered into his ear, "and I never will." Soon the class was cheering for Edward as was I, except for different reasons. I could tell he was leaving things out when we were telling one another about our selves, so was I, and he just old me the basics: his home life sucked and he was once abuse.

"Ok, that was interesting, Edward."Mrs. Carlson said in a distant voice, "Bella, you next then we have ten minutes of free time."

I nodded getting up from my chair as Edward took it after me. Once I got up front I got nervous, this song was about little sister Reneesme Carlie Swan.

Flashback

My parents were friends with a couple when they were young, supposedly Carlisle Cullen, delivered Nessie, and since Charlie was late, Esme Cullen stayed with her and told her what to do. Renee and Charlie decided that they were going to name her after them but with a twist; Reneesme was Renee and Esme's name together and Carlie was Carlisle and Charlie together. I was three at the time and was in La Push with my Uncle Billy and Cousin Sam.

Five years later, I was eight and Nessie was five, we were on our bikes riding to the play ground. Once we got there, I saw my group of friends and Nessie saw hers. W said we'll meet up at the big oak tree before it got dark and went our separate ways. Once, the sunset I went to the big tree and waited for Nessie to come. After, thirty minutes I go scared and went off looking for her. "Nessie, Nessie where are you?" I yelled for about ten minutes before I saw her best friend Annabel Wilson running towards me, with tears streaming down her face.

I grabbed her shoulders as she started crying and saying things at the same time. All I got out of that was, "hide and seek…couldn't find Nessie…ten minutes…found Nessie behind a bush…blood everywhere…not moving…not breathing…" that's all I needed before running to where I heard all the others sobbing and crying.

Once I saw her, I knew she was gone. Her face was paler than normal and her lips were already turning blue. Her hair was matted against her head and neck where the blood was seeping through. Nessie's neck had been sliced open and she was left to die. Tears streamed own my cheeks as I placed a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming, my hand was shaking so badly that it barley touch me. The kids in front of m were leaning on one another crying. One little boy caught my eyes, he had russet skin and dark brown eyes, almost black. His long black hair cascaded over his face and shoulders. His hands were on her shoulders shaking wildly. I placed a hand on top of his and he raised his head and eyes to mine. "You know her?" I asked though my tears he nodded looking back own at her.

"I'm Jacob Black…one of Nessie's best friends," he shuddered as he said he name more tears slipped over him eyes.

"She never would stop talking about you," I cried silently, "she loved you, Jacob. She did." I hated using the past tense world but it was true.

"I love her too," he whispered placing a sweet kiss on her head before crying out in agony. "Oh my god, Nessie! Who I this to you?" I sobbed with him patting his back and ripping her hand tightly. "I love you," he whispered before pulling away from her and I and left without another word.

After ten more minutes, I called all of the kids' parents and told they needed a ride home, and then called the house phone, Renee pick up, "Bella? Where in gods name are you and Nessie?"

I started crying again and tried to explain but couldn't get in out. She told me she was on her way with Charlie. Five minutes later, I heard my mom scream. I turned from Reneesme's body and was met with my mom's wide scared eyes and Charlie's angry and sad eyes. "Mom!" I cried reaching out to her. She cried and grasped my hand tightly and sat beside me, weeping over her dead daughter.

Charlie stood there for about two minutes before turning and walking out of the woods. I stared in shock before I heard him cry out to the heavens at the top of his lungs "WHY? WHY HER?!" we were all hurt and I was the one to call the hospital and police station.

Two weeks later, we were at her funeral and were even more apart than before. I didn't eat, sleep or talk to anyone; I was a walking zombie. Renee was worse, she sat in her room all day and cried and took pills. Charlie became a work-aholic and wouldn't look me in the eyes at all. We were a broken family and I doubt we'd get any better.

I was right, three months later; Charlie filed a divorce and left for Arizona; leaving me with my abusive, pill-popping, drug shooting mother.

End flashback

"Bella, are you going to press play?" Mrs. Carlson's voice rang throughout my ears as I came to the present.

I nodded slightly smiling as I blink back the noticeable tears, "sorry…just thinking about what this song means to me."

She nodded and I could tell she believed me; I looked out at Edward and noticed he did not, giving me a questioning look. I shook my head slightly as if to tell him nothing, but he was persistent. Finally I told him, with my eyes, later; he seemed pleased with himself.

I sighed sadly and pressed play, the soft, sad melody played through my ears as the memory of my little sister played in my mind over and over. I kept my cool and started singing in a low sad voice.

'Playground

school bell

rings again.

Rain clouds

Come to play

Again…'

Here is the part I don't like. I didn't want to believe that my sister was dead and never coming back and my mind continued to play this song in my head, where I couldn't escape. I started to walk around as Edward did but this was like an act of what happened. I was searching for her…I was searching for her spirit.

'Has no one told

You she's not breathing?

Hello…I am your mind

Giving you someone

To talk to

Hello…'

I couldn't stop the tears if I wanted to as I walked from desk to desk. Someone didn't tell she wasn't breathing until after she was…dead. A few more tears fell as I saw her face when I closed my eyes.

'If I smile and

Don't

Believe…

Soon I know

I'll wake from

This dream.'

The tears came freely as I thought about the next verse. No on could fix me, or my little sister. She was gone and I still had yet to believe it. I was two desks from Edwards'; I could tell he was worried as I let the tears fall.

'Don't try to fix

Me, I'm not broken.

Hello…I'm the lie living for you

So you can hide.

Don't cry.

(Instrumental)

I wish I could've stopped crying as I stopped by Edwards' desk. I looked into his eyes and projected the memory to him; hoping he would get it right. He grabbed my hand and gently tugged me own on knees in front of him. He didn't wipe the tears and I was glad for that.

'Suddenly I know

I know I'm not

Sleeping,

Hello…I'm still here

All that's left of

Yesterday…'

As the music stopped, I lay my head on his knee and let the tears spew out, silently wishing I was stronger. "I'm better off alone," I muttered quietly as Edward did the same thing I did to him.

"I don't believe that," he whispered and wiped my tears softly, "and I never will."

I smile sadly and took the spot beside him; the class was silent, staring at me in wonder and awe. "Um…" I muttered then was interrupted by the loud bell. "Damn stupid ass bell." I said moving past everyone to get my IPod from the front.

"Bella and Edward," Mrs. Carlson called over the bell, "can you two stay after class for a minute. I'll write you two a pass to you next classes."

I groaned along with Edward, she was probably wondering about our songs and what about them had us acting like we were.

"What was that?" she asked pointing at the front of the room.

Sorry it took so long! God that was a work out! Well if you like and want more press the slightly larger box below and tell me what you think!

Thnx!