Somebody

By. Misery's-Toll

Chapter Six: Caring is Sharing

Please come now; I think I'm falling.
I'm holding onto all I think is safe.
It seems I've found the road to nowhere
and I'm trying to escape.

- "One Last Breath" by Creed

When Sakura wakes up, she is confused.

Something is over her, and something is under her, and something is behind her, and she can see the bottom of her door, and the light is on, and she can feel that she is still fully clothed, and that her greasy hair is matted to her face, and that her leg is asleep, and she feels great and terrible all at once. She blinks a few times before realizing that she is underneath her bed –somewhere she hasn't hidden since she was little, back when she was smaller and she could fit better.

A couple of feet away, a tray with a bowl and a glass on it sits. Sakura reaches for the glass, and drinks the water inside, not caring that it is dripping down her chin as she gulps it down hastily. She crawls out from underneath the bed, letting the empty glass roll on the floor.

She's tired and sore, but she doesn't feel like sleeping. She feels like crying and like laughing and maybe a little bit like dying, but she won't do any of those things because she feels like she did something goodgoodgoodgood, even if she gets punished for it. Instead, she walks to the solitary window, and presses her palm to the cool glass.

No good deed goes unpunished.

It's dark outside, and the streetlight at the corner is illuminating half of her front yard, where the grass is glittering because it rained and now there's wind, and the over-grown blades of grass are flowing like rolling waves of water. Sakura decides she wants to go to the ocean, because she can remember living by the beach, when her mother and father loved and laughed, and Ino wasn't afraid to be seen with her in public, and they would giggle and comb each other's hair, and it was life.

More than this half-life you call your existence.

Sakura opens the window, and pushes it up as high as it will go. The mesh wire screen is long gone, having been since the family moved in. The pink-haired girl climbs out, and sits out on the front curb, curling into a ball, resting her chin on her knees. She closes her eyes and imagines she's at the beach. That she's in her bathing suit. That her toes are buried in the sand.

She doesn't know how long she sits out there in that beach that only exists in her memory, but when she climbs back through the window, she's exhausted, and she falls into bed and falls asleep still fully dressed.

When I walk by

Sasuke's and Ino's locker

Sasuke is there

once again.

He sees me pass by

--his eyes flicker towards me,

but

they immediately flicker away

as though I

wasn't even there.

Did he ever really see you?

And I guess,

that's maybe how it was supposed to be

because

he was beautiful

and I was…

not.

Did he?

For the next month, everything went by similarly. Gaara and Hinata followed Sakura around, beside her between each class and during every period they had together. Naruto was there to speak to her and try to make her laugh during Art and English. Kiba was there to ask about the bruises and give her funny looks. Karin and Ami were there, but never directly harming anyone, as they were on watch by Tsunade, and Shikamaru was where Ino was, and Tenten was always there in body but rarely there in mind. Rock Lee gave her smiles and proclamations of youth and Kin gave her dirty looks and Ino gave her bruises and Neji gave her stern looks and watchful glances. Everyone was there in her life some way or another, except for a pale faced boy with pretty black eyes and raven's wing hair.

Sakura's parents continued to scream and shout at each other by day, and cry and moan at night for all together different reasons.

But whenever Sakura dreamed, it was still of angels with crumpled wings giving her rides and walking her home and giving her gifts, just to watch as demons clawed at her and then turn away with a smirk and the words that followed her around, though they were never said.

You're annoying.

It is winter break, and that meant that it would be Christmas soon. And to Sakura, that meant cleaning her closet of everything she couldn't wear or couldn't use, and selling it for enough cash to get her parents and Ino gifts.

She pulls together a pile of clothing and a few never-used birthday presents from relatives she doesn't know, and even some things that she loves and would nevernevernever give away, but is going to anyway, because the blouse that Ino wanted from the store costs sixty dollars, and Sakura wants her to be happy.

Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think?

At the bottom of a box of knick-knacks she finds a piece of folded up paper that says 'To: Santa' on it.

Santa,

I've been a good girl this year. I shared my juice with a girl during snack time yesterday, I swear.

For Christmas I think I'd like a dolly, and maybe some angel wings, so that I can fly away when the bigger kids are making fun of my forehead.

Thank you!

-Sakura

Sakura smiles.

As Sakura walks, she sees a box on the curb in front of the 'Kwick Kar' gas station. The box says in thick black letters 'Free Puppies.' She peers inside the box and sees that there are four small pugs, probably not even a month old.

"Do you want one or not?" says the old man sitting in a lawn chair beside the box.

Why doesn't he? Separating a family no matter how small is cruel.

Sakura stares at the man whose face is haggard and brown and spotted, and he has little crows-feet on either side of his beady black eyes, and an x-shaped scar on his chin.

"Perhaps," she murmurs, and smiles tentatively, "I'll be back."

Because she wants one, but she doesn't think she can care for something when she can't even care for herself.

Sakura hands over the last of her items to the man at the pawn shop, taking the two-hundred dollars from his palm.

"You'd better be intending on spending some of that money on yourself," the man's eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles at her, and she smiles back, though hers is meek and guilty, because he has no idea how much she wants to.

As she nears the box of puppies, she sees someone she thinks she recognizes, but she's not totally sure because it's always confusing to see a teacher outside of school. Kakashi-sensei in a pair of cargo pants and a forest-green turtle-neck sweater is picking up the last dog remaining from the box, and the man in the lawn chair is leaving.

Kakashi turns at her approaching footsteps, and he offers her a smile, "Hello, Sakura."

Sakura is startled, because she didn't think he knew who she was, and she offers him a smile, "Hello, Kakashi-sensei."

"What are you doing out today? Christmas shopping?" he asks lightheartedly.

She nods slowly, "I was going to buy a present for Ino."

"Would you mind if I accompanied you?"

Do you think he cares?

"Go ahead," though she is confused, because by the looks of her teacher's black and shiny polished shoes, he must be pretty well-off, so why would he spend his time with her?

But when they go through the market, Kakashi-sensei makes good conversation, even when Sakura doesn't know what to say, though he obviously doesn't find the need to fill every moment with speech. Kakashi buys a light blue speckled silk scarf and an expensive necklace, while Sakura buys the blouse that Ino wanted, a new thermos for her father (his old one is leaky now), and soles for her mother's worn-and-torn shoes.

"Do you mind if we go in here quickly?" Kakashi-sensei asks, motioning to a sales stall in which the merchant is selling items for pets.

Sakura shakes her head; she thinks Kakashi-sensei's new dog is quite adorable, and she's happy that he is buying things for his pup instead of treating it poorly, unlike the boys in her neighborhood who steal them from people's front lawns to light them on fire.

"Kakashi-sensei, what are you going to name your dog?" she asks him, meekly; she doesn't know whether or not he will get mad at her for speaking to him without being spoken to.

Carecarecare just a little.

"Call me Kakashi, Sakura. And I haven't decided. Give an old man some ideas?" he asks, picking out a plain leather navy-blue collar and leash for the dog in his arms.

Sakura shrugs a little and picks up a bag of puppy food, "Koinu?"

"That's not very creative. Come on, Sakura. I've seen your art; Kurenai has shown it to me. I know you've got a creative mind."

Sakura blushes, and looks at the ground, because she's never been any good at taking praise in any form, and she doesn't say anything in reply. Kakashi seems to understand he's made her uncomfortable and changes the subject, "So, what do you like to do?"

Sakura looks up at him again, "I like to listen to my mother sing while she sculpts. She makes tiny clay fairies and Christmas ornaments for money."

It's never enough.

Kakashi seems thoughtful, "That's a nice hobby. Most girls your age would enjoy going to the mall or playing videogames or something, wouldn't they?"

Sakura tilts her head curiously, "Would they? I wouldn't know."

Kakashi continues in thoughtful silence as he purchases his findings. After several minutes he looks down at her with a bright smile on his face, though she can't really see it through that strange mask he keeps on his face, "Would you like some dango?"

She looks up from her shoes that aren't keeping her feet quite as warm as she would have liked, and sees her teacher motioning to a food stand nearby. She thinks that perhaps she has just enough money for one set of dumplings, and her stomach sort of aches from hunger, but she also thinks that she needs to save up her money because she needs a new pair of socks. So she lies, "I'm not hungry."

But he's already heard her stomach grumble several times, and he won't take no for an answer, "It's my treat. Come on."

Sakura nervously follows behind him, thinking of nice people and how immediately Naruto and Hinata and Gaara and Lee had taken to her, and maybe one other person who she doesn't like to think about but she does anyway who had angels wings but he kept them for himself, but maybe he didn't and just gave them to somebody else.

You're annoying.

And when Kakashi hands her the skewered dumplings, she thinks she hasn't been this happy since.

Kakashi leaves Sakura at the end of her street by her request. He doesn't ask why and she doesn't tell him. But as he's leaving she says, "Pakkun. Name the dog Pakkun."

And so he does.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: (keyboard dodge) I know some of you are going to hate me for that, but I just wanted to point out that this IS a SasuSaku, so there's nothing to worry about. I'm being cliché and stupid and stuff, and you can't stop me. And I wanted to point out, since a couple of people have mentioned this, that when I run words together when I italicize them, that IS intentional. And the bolded and italicized lines are Inner Sakura. Yeah…

AND HOLY CRAP! 21 REVIEWS FOR ONE CHAPTER! I have never gotten that much of a positive response! You guys are great, and I love you, I love you, I love you! Marry me!

Please review, dudes. :D

-MT