Somebody
By. Misery's-Toll
Chapter Fifteen: Break Me
I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled of your wings
Then I laughed
-"Change" by Deftones
Ring. Ring.
It's time to wake up.
Ring. Ring.
Sakura wakes up, curled in the foetal position on her bed, surrounded by homework left incomplete. The clock on her wall says its only 7:13 PM, but somehow she still feels exhausted.
Ring. Ring.
She suddenly realizes the phone is ringing, and throws herself from her bed and runs into the hall, wrenching the phone from its cradle.
"Hello," she asks in a dry, breathy voice, and rubs her eyes with the back of her free hand.
"Sakura? ...Hi...it's...um...It's Hinata. I've been...um...saving up money and, um...I w-was wondering if you'd...go with me to a drive-in movie tomorrow?"
"You want me to go to a movie with you? W-wow. That sounds amazing, Hinata. I'd love to."
"O-oh. Really? Thank you...Good night, Sakura."
"Good night, Hinata," Sakura says and hangs-up the phone.
-=Ino=-
Ino lies on her bedroom floor, staring at the ceiling-fan go round and round and round, eating chocolate pudding with her fingers. She thinks that maybe she can feel her skin melting off her bones and pooling on the floor as she listens to her sister make plans to do something on a Friday evening for quite possibly the first time in her life. And she thinks to herself that maybe she'll be doing the exact same thing she is tonight --feeling sorry for herself on her bedroom floor, gorging on food that she knows can't be good for her or the thing (is it growing?) inside her.
To Ino, Sakura is like a bright pink rose, wilted at the tips of its pretty plush petals. Or a tainted lily, bruises sullying its frosty blossoms.
When someone picks a flower or buys one from the store, they cherish it and moon over it, put it in a glassy vase of nutrient water and watch it bloom. Once the flower has bloomed, it begins to wilt, and when those gorgeous petals begin to curl and brown, the admirer frowns and strokes its withering endowments with empathy and clicks his or her tongue, "Aww, you poor thing. You need a little lovin', that's all."
To Ino, Sakura is like a wilting flower that never seems to fully die. She just crinkles at the edges a little and sits there, taking up space on the table, not quite illuminating the room with a hearty glow the way a fresh, healthy plant would.
What if instead of feeding the flower adoration and care, it were neglected, left to wither and rot? Would it crumble to dust and fade away?
And then would she, herself, a wicked prickly plant, look gorgeous in comparison?
With no promising future in mind, she decides maybe to try it.
-=Sakura=-
Sakura sits in Biology, coloring on her fingernails with a blue permanent marker she found in the desk she sits in, thinking about Ino. She was surprised when Ino showed up to school. They passed each other in the hallways after first period, and Sakura smiled and waved. Ino just smirked and continued walking, shaking her silky bangs out of her eye.
Sakura wonders when the last time she and Ino even spoke was. She thinks maybe it was before their mother's death. She had just wanted to make Ino happy...
Gaara is absent. Sasuke sits in Gaara's place and Orochimaru-sensei doesn't seem to notice so Sakura pretends she doesn't either.
"In one month, we will be dissecting foetal pigs. So prepare yourselves. I won't allow anyone to drop out of this assignment, just because it's gross, girls."
And she was beautiful.
Sakura gasps and drops the marker, and it rolls to the floor. Sasuke looks up at her with an unreadable expression, and she just bites her lip.
-=Ino=-
For the first time in what feels like forever, but was probably no more than two or three weeks, Ino dolls herself up. She takes a shower, paints her fingernails, applies make-up, puts on some pumps, and grins. The acne that has come to spot her face in her unhygienic time is mostly covered by carefully-applied cover-up. Her ponytail may be a little bit less-smooth from too much grease build-up that she couldn't remove in just one shower, but she wears a cleavage-bearing tank-top and a mini-skirt and she looks like a model anyways, so she faces the school day with one idea in mind: to destroy Haruno Sakura.
As the day proceeds, her resolve only becomes stronger. While she gets looks of estrangement, Sakura gets looks of pity. People practically fawn over the pink-haired girl. Her sister even has a few kids Ino has never seen before stopping her to talk to her in the halls, while Ino travels alone.
The only person to give the blonde so much as a second look is the boy she (loveslovesloves) wishes would disappear (would never go away). They pass each other in the hallway, and their eyes connect --not once, but twice. He watches as she cradles her stomach each time she's shoved into a locker, and she watches each time he fumbles with the box of cigarettes in his pocket --an addiction he's only recently inhabited.
During lunch hour she goes in the restroom and cries for a little while, but then she reapplies her make-up and continues planning. So she sits in the stairway, eating some chips she bought from the vending machine with money she thinks she could have earned the same day she conceived, licking her nail-polished fingers clean of crumbs and artificial flavoring.
-=Sakura=-
I don't know when the last time was
that
I was this excited.
I haven't
been to a movie since
I was a little girl.
So I run to my locker
so that I can get everything done
quickly
not to waste a single second
of this
amazing
experience.
And there she is
in all of her blue-eyed
blonde-haired
tan-skinned
stick-thin
glory,
the girl who
hasn't spoken to me in weeks
the girl who
ignored me
and stopped caring.
"I think..."
don't say it don't say it
don'tyoudaresayit
"Well, I think that you've been spending too much time with Sasuke."
Who would have thought that Miss Unbreakable would have succumbed to jealousy of you?
It's not fair.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that you're dumping your one real friend for somebody else."
Angry words. Shouting. Faces red with anger.
And all of a sudden
"Ino!"
"Tenten! Is that you? It's been so long!"
She abruptly turns away from me
while I'm in the middle of a sentence
and she
hugs the brunette girl with buns
like they've been best friends their whole lives
ignoring me
and
they begin to giggle
and talk about the good old days
before
Tenten left the school
when we know
that she's only back
to see Neji.
And after a few seconds
I can't take it anymore
knowing that
in the middle of such
a 'vitally important' conversation
Ino didn't really care all that much
in the first place
She didn't need you in the first place. She's only here because of jealousy.
and I look at Ino and murmur, even though she doesn't hear me
"I'll see you around."
And I walk away
stifling back sniffs
and holding back the tears
though my eyes are already fogging over
because I don't want
Hinata to
see me this way
and
when I reach Hinata
she's speaking with Sasuke
while she waits.
"Sakura."
He greets me.
But
I just want to get out of there
so
even though my eyes sting
and my nose is running
I manage to hold back the tears
"Um..."
Somehow
my voice cracks.
"Can we just go?" I ask
because
maybe
walking home
will give me a chance
to forget.
Sasuke seems to realize that I just brushed him off
but
I can't muster up the courage
to
speak.
-=Hinata=-
Hinata feels as though bubbles are being blown through her and they're tickling her insides and making her float higher than she has ever felt before. She's excited. Hopeful. She gets kisses from the boy she (loves) likes every time he sees her. Not on the lips, but on her cheek, her forehead, her temple, her chin. And she can't help but (love) adore him for it.
She's proud of herself. She's making her own money now. She's got her own job. She has hope that maybe she can be something. She's doing something for her own pleasure, with her own money, at her own expense instead of someone else's. And she's treating a friend to it too.
But as Hinata and Sakura walk back to Kurenai's home, Sakura walks a couple of yards behind Hinata, making her nervous. She has to look back every thirty seconds or so to make sure the girl is actually still with her, as the walk home isn't a short one.
pop
The bubbles festering inside of her begin to pop, the more tense she feels.
"Sakura...are you...are you alright?" she calls back to her friend, biting her lip nervously. She is generally not very good at this, making other people feel better without prying, and she usually needs to call for the help of someone else, but at the moment there is only herself and Sakura, so she has no choice.
Sakura looks up, her eyes a bit too wet and her expression a bit too stressed, but she gives Hinata a lopsided smile and says, "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you, though."
pop
Hinata turns around fully and walks toward her friend, "Y-you seem...a bit upset."
"I'm okay, really."
Hinata winces as the first tear trickles down her friend's cheek, but the pink-haired girl bows her head to let her recently-cut bangs fall over her face. Hinata walks towards her and envelopes the girl in a tight hug. The hug feels so odd, her being so much shorter than her friend, as she only comes up to the girl's chin. The crying girl is so thin, so breakable within her arms, though so much taller. Emaciated.
pop
Sakura silent tears turn into sobs, and her knees tremble before she falls, crying heavily into her uninjured hand.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Sakura whispers over and over again.
"Sakura!" Hinata's voice cracks. She's scared. What does she do? The only thing she knows how to do is hug, cuddle, make others feel her warmth. It takes her a few seconds before she realizes she's crying too, "Don't cry, Sakura!"
"It's my fault. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's my fault. It's my fault that she's dead, isn't it? Had I just been a little bit better, a little bit stronger, I could have made everyone happier, and then Ino wouldn't have hated me, and I wouldn't have gotten momma angry, and then...I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
pop pop pop pop pop
Hinata looks around, eyes wide and frantic. She wants to get help but she's afraid to leave Sakura alone. She hastily unzips her hoodie and throws it over Sakura's shoulders, tugging it tightly around her, collapsing in front of the hysteric Sakura.
"N-nothing is your fault."
She puts her hands on Sakura's shoulders.
"Nothing is your fault."
She wraps her arms around the girl.
"Nothing is your fault!"
Sakura nods into Hinata's shoulder, "Yeah. Yeah."
...pop.
-=Sakura=-
And then I realized
that maybe
the only way I could possibly get Ino back
was to push everyone else away
but maybe only a little bit.
And
if I could manage to do that
and I could let Ino in
then maybe
pushing them away
would allow a halo of warmth
rather than a circle
with a piece missing
allowing the heat to escape
Tears are a funny thing.
-=Ino=-
After the day's accomplishment, Ino decides to reward herself by returning to the 7/11 to purchase another Very Cherry Slush. Yet again, Sai is at the counter with that same blatantly faked smile. Somehow she finds it comforting, the fact that someone in this world is more fake than she is.
"Hello, beautiful. Will this be all for you?" The smile is unwavering.
Ino nods. There is an exchange of bills and coins between them. During this, Ino vaguely remembers telling this strange boy to sit with her during lunch at one point, a week or two ago.
"Did you wait for me?"
Sai stares blankly at her, "I'm sorry, gorgeous. I don't understand."
"Did you wait for me. At lunch. When I asked you to sit with me?" Ino asks, slurping down her slushie rapidly, not even really noticing the brain freeze.
"Yes."
"Oh," Ino blinks, "Oh. Thank you."
"Have a nice day."
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any related thingamajigs. Or the songs. Those belong to their respective owners. This is a fan-made fic.
A/N: Sorry this took sooo freaking long, and sorry its so short. I've been kind of really wrapped up in life lately. I haven't given up on this story, though...so no worries! And alsdjfkj I didn't feel like writing the part where they went to the movie. I can't really remember what I had planned for it anyways. But it doesn't really matter 'cause it was going to be filler.
And for those of you who don't know already, I put up a new one-shot 'Dead Like Me'. I'm not particularly proud of it, but check it out? Pwease?
Please review you guys! I'd like to know if I still have any readers after the three month delay...(oops)
-MT