Somebody
By. Misery's-Toll
Chapter 21: Comfort
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know
'Somewhere Only We Know' by Keane
I love
early mornings because
the house is so
still.
Dad is usually
passed out or not even
home yet
and Ino prefers to sleep in as
late as possible.
She's no longer that beauty-queen straight from a magazine.
And for some reason
as of late
instead of feeling lonely
I actually enjoy
having the whole house to
myself.
Anyone would prefer silence over ghosts of once-were family members.
Every once and awhile I have to
wonder
what life would be like if
mom was still
here.
Don't even think about it.
Would she have
forgiven me yet?
School seems to be a friendlier place with Sasuke there, Sakura thinks. It's March now, so school will be over and done with in only over two months, so she supposes that maybe that's why students are so excited, yet flustered (perhaps from upcoming finals). And she can enjoy these things as well, now that she knows all of her friends are safe.
For now. But you're a screw-up, and sooner or later things will inevitably sour.
Tenten shows up after school again, something that's been occurring more and more often, and Sakura's even had the chance to talk to her now and then after so long. The brunette has been going steady with Neji ever since she moved out of the Hyuuga household. And for once, Sakura can be glad for them without any sort of self-pity clouding the feeling.
Sakura and numerous other individuals have been invited to Tenten's seventeenth birthday party at a log cabin belonging to her church that they've allowed her to rent.
Due to the short notice, only a small number of those invited actually attend. So on the Friday evening of her party, the group of students meets in the school parking lot to caravan to the secluded cabin.
"Well, I guess this isn't too bad of a turn-out," Tenten grins, "Nine out of fifteen. It's a majority."
"But plus you there's ten and you got a mini-van. An eight-seater. I'm sure that will turn out fantastic. Thank God that Sasuke is going to be late," Kiba quips, grabbing Hinata's over-stuffed bag and tossing it in the trunk. Akamaru pokes his head out of the top of Kiba's coat and barks in what seems to be agreement.
"You can deal. And if you can't, you can always ride with our dear old chaperone, Kurenai-sensei," Tenten rolls her eyes, and turns to the woman, "Thanks, by the way."
Kurenai shrugs and laughs heartily, and from then on out, Sakura tunes out the conversation and just fiddles with the straps on her backpack. She wonders how many of these people actually want her there. And how many of them just consider her someone to take up space in the van.
After all this time, do you still think these people could think of you as nothing but a waste of space?
The van ride is long and awkward. For Sakura, at least. They all squish in, Tenten the driver and Temari, Tenten's friend from her new school riding shotgun. The middle row almost-comfortably seats Neji, Hinata, and Naruto (Neji insists that Hinata be in a row that possesses seatbelts, for her safety, and he must be there to protect her from any bodily harm if necessary; Naruto is there without his consent). The back row squishes to contain Shikamaru, Sakura, Kiba, and Rock Lee, in that order. Bags and pillows crowd around everyone and are stuffed under their seats, allowing minimal movement.
Everyone seems to get along splendidly, listening to songs on Kiba's MP3 player that are apparently quite commonly played on the radio these days, though they are completely unfamiliar to Sakura's ears. Naruto, Kiba, Tenten, and Lee sing along obnoxiously, Naruto throwing his arm over Hinata's shoulder while she blushes and Neji shoots him glares. Shikamaru stares out the window vaguely while Temari looks out for road-signs indicating where they should go next. Sakura sits somewhat awkwardly in between the dazed genius and the kid with the blaring music, unsure of what to do.
At some point during the ride, Temari pulls Tenten's camera out of her backpack and turns it on, announcing, "We have to document this occasion! It's not every day a cool cat such as Tenten turns seventeen!" She passes it to Naruto who has his arms stretched eagerly for it. He turns around in his seat, long since having abandoned his seatbelt and he begins to record Sakura.
Smile.
"So Sakura, how do you know Tenten?" he asks, hitting Kiba when he lets out a wolf-whistle.
"Um...from Geometry class?" she shrugs.
"Did you get her a super cool birthday present?" he turns around the camera to face himself as he wiggles his eyebrows, causing Hinata to giggle.
Kiba tries to lunge for the camera and then the question is forgotten, leaving those riding in the car to bicker amongst themselves over who should give the camera where, somehow making Sakura feel more included.
You're kind of pathetic.
-=Ino=-
Ino thinks maybe it would have been nice, to be part of the group for once. Thinks it might have been nice to have gotten on that too-crowded van with Sakura to go on that trip she was invited to with all of that girl's friends. But she's a little more than three months pregnant. And pregnant girls don't get to go to bonfires and breathe in that smoke and eat maybe not fully-cooked hand-roasted hotdogs and go on hikes where you may or may not trip and fall. And pregnant girls don't go have the night of their lives with their ex-boyfriend they cheated on that didn't get them pregnant, even if they wish he had.
Instead, strangely enough, she finds herself sitting in a coffee shop with Sai. And pregnant girls also don't drink coffee, so she drinks apple cider and eats a scone instead.
"Sai, am I a whore?" she asks dejectedly, picking at her pastry, not hungry. She doesn't want to look at him as she asks this question. She doesn't want to see his emotionless face break into a false smile and tell her yes, she is a whore. That a man, even without standards as this one is, does not want to be seen in public with a knocked-up teenager and that he never wants to see her again.
"Whore. Someone who engages in sexual activity, usually in exchange for payment. So I suppose yes, you are a whore."
She swishes her cider around in her mouth for a moment, "Huh. Didn't know there was an actual definition for it. But what you're supposed to say is 'No, beautiful. You're just a fucking lunatic.' That's better than being a whore, anyway." (Just look at Sakura.)
Sai stares at her unblinkingly with his pretty black eyes. He's handsome, undeniably. Perhaps even datable, if it weren't for his downright creepiness. But that doesn't matter now, because she loves Shikamaru and she's learned her lesson, and besides, she has a baby now and pregnant girls don't get to date, among everything else.
"I think," Sai says, giving her a closed-eyed smile, shifting her thoughts, "That maybe you should speak to Shikamaru. Perhaps someday he can bring himself to forgive you."
Ino stares at him, gaping for a few moments before finally realizing she's had her mouth open, and promptly shuts it, "You know, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you're the lunatic."
She grabs her purse and exits the restaurant in a hurry, fleetingly thinking that maybe the only good thing about having an emotionally-stunted friend is that he can't get angry when you walk out on him.
-=Sasuke=-
It's beautiful, is the first thing Sasuke thinks as he drives up next to the van in the field behind the cabin. It's like something painted in a picture, all knobbly trees and wild flowers. The air smells crisp despite the slight tinge of exhaust from his recently cut engine, but he thinks the pollution will probably fade in a matter of minutes.
When he walks around to the front, he can see everyone gathered at the bottom of the steep hill. Kiba is crouched down, blowing on a sparse, barely-ignited flame of twigs, everyone encircling him, cheering him on. The first one to notice his presence is Shikamaru who has a lit cigarette between his teeth.
"Yo. It's Uchiha," he announces, jerking his head in Sasuke's direction.
He descends the staircase of wooden planks, offering a slight wave in greeting, "This everyone?"
Tenten nods happily, "Yeah. I think its pretty good, don't you? I'm thinking of bringing out the hotdogs soon. You guys interested?"
Sasuke tunes out Naruto's enthused shouts and stares at Sakura who is staring at him. He gives her a one-sided twitch of the lips before turning around and incidentally meeting Hinata's gaze. She looks at him curiously before flicking her eyes to Sakura and then back to him. She's then distracted when Naruto throws an arm over her shoulder, and Sasuke watches amusedly for a few moments as her face turns a deep shade of red, and he can't help but wonder what kind of relationship he would have with a girl. Could he make a girl blush, just by touching her? He doesn't think he'd want that. Because blushes mean nervousness, and he doesn't think he could take having a girlfriend that would always be anxious around him, inevitably leading his thoughts back to Sakura who he notices uncomfortably has been quite silent, and he can't help but wonder if she feels left out.
["You aren't ready."]
The evening is clear and cloudless and the air smells of grass and smoke. The miraculous fire dances across the field like a giant candle, giving everyone a somehow healthy glow, removing all ashy tones and leaving only oranges and pinks and reds (and pinks, pinks, pinks). Despite being impartial to sweets, he can still enjoy everyone else's joy of roasting and eating and burning marshmallows. The air is full of laughter and squealing and the crackling of the fire and the chirping of the evening crows.
He watches with a smirk as Hinata catches her third marshmallow on fire and shrieks, blowing on it until it is left a blackened crusty mess. Kiba comes up from behind and sticks a gooey wad of sweetness into her mouth, getting it all over her lips and cheek as she jerks her head in surprise.
Sakura, who sits two benches away, watches Neji and Tenten with a sort of rapture as he tries to feed the girl a marshmallow, and how she takes the end of his finger into her mouth and nips at it with a coy smile.
If Sasuke had a relationship, would it be something like that?
He looks away from the couple and back to Sakura who is still watching the two, and wonders if that's what Sakura would want. A relationship of built up sexual tension and feeding each other and coy smiles. But Sakura looks away and begins to chat with Naruto who is somewhat jealously watching Kiba's and Hinata's interaction, and Sasuke can't help but think that Sakura isn't like Tenten and she isn't like Hinata, giving him a sense of satisfaction.
["You are Sasuke. My angel."]
"Yeah, Gaara couldn't come 'cause dad caught him using again and he got grounded. Figures," Temari's voice rises above all other sounds, "He's always sucked at being discreet."
"Gaara d-doesn't do drugs!" Hinata suddenly squeaks out, interrupting Temari's and Shikamaru's conversation. And then everyone is listening.
Temari lets out a loud, hearty laugh, "Are you kidding me? Most days he's high as a kite. Kankurou got him into it, but Kankurou's experienced enough not to get caught."
"You all are related?" Sakura's voice is softer and much less accusing than everyone else's, "Kankurou is in my art class..."
"Yeah, well that son of a bitch is a master at arts and crafts, if nothing else. I'm surprised none of you have even noticed Gaara's always stoned. Pretty apparent around home..."
"Why?" Hinata exclaims, "W-Why do you l-let him do it?"
"I'm not his mom," Temari rolls her eyes, before turning back to Shikamaru and beginning to talk about a band she saw in concert, effectively ending the conversation.
Sakura and Hinata share a look. And suddenly Sasuke feels out of the loop.
-=Hinata=-
Everyone goes on a midnight hike, their wrists and necks adorned with glowing bracelets and necklaces by Tenten's and Kurenai's orders (so no one would get lost, so that maybe they could get just that little bit closer to the real camp-out experience). Hinata and Sakura walk more slowly than the others, straggling behind, though Hinata is highly aware of the fact that Sasuke is watching them to make sure nothing happens to her pink-haired companion.
"He l-loves you," Hinata murmurs to the girl, as quietly as she can so no one can overhear, "He's watching us right now."
"He probably just wants to make sure we don't get too far behind," Sakura reasons, shaking her head, "He just thinks of me as Sakura."
"I l-love Sakura. So w-why wouldn't he?" Hinata smiles. Sakura thinks the same way she used to, back when she and Naruto would share glances and smiles but everything was still pining and dreaming and not knowing.
"Sasuke isn't the only one watching," Sakura says quietly, with a slight grin on her face, "Naruto wants to come back here but he's worried about interrupting our girl talk. Look at his expression. You should go up there with him."
Hinata looks at Sakura, surprised, as the girl has never been one to talk about someone else's feelings, no matter how seemingly obvious. But when she sees the green-eyed girl's gaze on the raven-haired boy in front of them, she realizes that Sakura has different intentions. And she has to wonder if Sakura has thought about Temari's earlier revelation at all or if she's completely blocked Gaara's doings out of her head.
"Don't worry about me. I'll have company," Sakura giggles. And Hinata realizes that Sakura may actually be truly happy at the moment. That she may actually be well on her way to having a healthy mind. And perhaps Sakura doesn't need to think about Gaara right now and that the thinking and the helping is up to Hinata now so that Sakura can get better.
So Hinata nods, and as she walks past Sasuke on her way up to Naruto, she shares a look with him. (Take care of her.)
-=Sakura=-
Sakura walks outside, her small quilt wrapped around her like a shawl, a chilled soda can hidden beneath it. It's a little before 4:00 am.
"Is that Sakura?" Kiba's enthused voice distinguishes itself from the other more muted ones, and he waves at her from his place beneath one of the spotlights. She offers a sleepy smile in response, incapable of removing her arms from her make-shift cocoon.
That's it. Wrap yourself up tightly. Maybe when you come out, you'll be a butterfly.
She observes everyone. Tenten and Neji are sitting on the large wooden board that Kiba had been occupying hours earlier, engaged deeply in hushed conversation, a good ways away from the fire so only the occasional flicker would catch their face and expose more than just their basic forms. Hinata and Kiba appear to be taking a walk around the clearing, Kiba seemingly saying things to the shy girl that make her squirm. Shikamaru and Temari are unconscious on their respective mattresses; Lee is haphazardly attempting to chop fire-wood a good distance away.
Sasuke is hunched over on a bench, his elbows resting on his knees, as he stares at the fire. As Sakura gets nearer, she can see that the flames reflect in his eyes, giving them an orangey-red gleam that sends tingles down her spine. His eyes flick to hers and he offers her a slight lift of the corner of his mouth in welcome.
"Mind if I sit here?" she asks, her voice a bit husky from sleeping. She clears her throat.
He gives her half a shrug in response, nudging a block of wood onto its side out of lack of much else to do. With this action, she notices his shoes. Black and white Keds, full of holes. She giggles as she sits, peaking her arm out from beneath her blanket to deposit her drink on the bench. It sweats condensation onto the wood immediately from being so close to the fire.
"I think your shoes might actually be in about as bad condition as mine," she explains her laughter when he gives her a curious look. He just grunts in response but stares at her footwear.
She rubs at her face.
"I'm pretty sure I was wearing make-up before I fell asleep," she says gazing into the campfire, "I wonder where it is now. I'm afraid to look in the mirror."
He smirks almost unnoticeably, "Aren't we all?"
Ridiculous, considering he always looks perfect.
She looks past the fire and into the distance, where Tenten and Neji are sitting. They look like shadows against the grassy hill behind them, cast by nothing. She thinks maybe that's what demons would look like in this world, unable to manifest themselves in any other form.
They find you, even here.
"Did you sleep well?" Sasuke's voice disturbs her from her thoughts, "What woke you up?"
"Naruto's cell phone. His alarm kept going off every five minutes. He wanted to scare you guys once you all fell asleep," Sakura says taking a swig of her drink, wiping her hand on her jeans to remove the wetness from the can.
"But he was too asleep to notice," Sasuke sounds honestly amused, "Figures."
Sakura smiles, and looks at the trees.
"The trees here look like they have faces," he says, apparently realizing what she's looking at. He gestures towards them, "They have so many knots in the bark."
Sakura nods, excited by this, "Just look at the branches! They look like they're reaching for each other."
"Maybe they're lovers!" Temari grumbles irritably, plopping herself down on the bench adjacent to theirs. Her hair is down but mostly covered by a striped beanie hat, but Sakura thinks somehow it makes her look much less tough than when her hair is pulled back into the many tight ponytails.
"What's got your panties in a twist?" Kiba laughs, him and Hinata coming by on one of their laps.
Temari raises a hand and clenches it in a fist, "Say anything else and this is going in your guts."
Disturbed, Kiba grabs Hinata's hand and rushes to a safe distance away from the irritable blonde.
"Naruto's going to be jealous," Sasuke murmurs quietly, more to himself than to Sakura, fingering one of the glow sticks around his wrist.
Sakura shrugs, looking back at the trees with a stronger sense of fondness than before.
Even trees can find love more easily than you.
"Sasuke!" Lee runs too them, both arms full of poorly-chopped firewood, an urgent expression on his face, "Please feed these to the flames!" With that said, he takes off, running back to his post.
Sasuke blinks at the logs for a couple of seconds before slowly moving up to get them. He picks up a few of the smaller ones, as the fire is still going somewhat-steadily, and drops them in. The flames begin to consume the wood with a crackle, and Sasuke, looking somewhat satisfied, returns to sit beside her, this time much closer than before.
"I feel safe here," Sakura murmurs over the crisp burning before her, "I know Naruto said that this is the perfect setting for a horror movie...But nothing can touch us here."
Because you don't exist here, to the world.
Sakura brings the blanket to cover her face when the wind blows the smoke in their direction and coughs a little bit.
A howl sounds in the distance, and Akamaru, who stopped behind Hinata and Kiba, joins it.
"Except for coyotes." Sasuke gives a wry smile.
Sakura laughs.
"Yes. Except for coyotes."
-=Hinata=-
Hinata stares at her shoes, old hiking boots a little too big that she got from Goodwill and stuffed with tissue to make fit better. She's noticed that the people around her are separating into small groups or pairs for somewhat more private entertainment. Naruto and Sakura are asleep though, and being alone with Sasuke still makes her uncomfortable, she guesses she'd prefer to be alone.
"Hey. Want to go for a walk with me?"
Hinata looks up. Kiba holds a hand out for her to help her up. She stares at it dumbly.
"In the r-riverbed?" she asks, surprised, "But Tenten said-"
"No, no. I mean, just like...walk. You know. Around the property," he flashes her a toothy grin and motions for her to come with his outstretched hand.
She tentatively takes his hand and lets him pull her to her feet.
They talk for awhile. About unimportant things. He tells her random stories, some that sound true and others that sound ridiculous, but all of them make her giggle just a little, and make her feel a little less lonely. She doesn't know how long they've been walking, but she figures it's been a while when Sakura comes out in a sleepy daze and sits quite predictably beside Sasuke, but she and Kiba continue making their rounds, enjoying each other's company.
Finally, Kiba slows to a halt in the corner of the clearing furthest from the rest of the group.
"I wish you weren't dating him," Kiba finally confesses, brushing some of his unruly hair out of his face and concentrating on something in the distance instead of meeting her gaze.
"I'm sorry?" she asks, confused, completely unprepared for this turn of events.
"It's just...you weren't ever alone, you know. I was always watching out for you, even though you didn't know it," he sighs, "I guess I just hoped you'd pick me in the end, rather than him."
Hinata is vaguely aware that Akamaru is howling at something in the distance.
She blushes vibrantly, and looks towards the ground, "S-Sorry."
"It's not your fault, I guess. He just beat me to the punch," he shrugs, but then offers her a wolfish grin, "And don't worry. I'm not about to give up. I'll be waiting. And someday you'll realize that."
Hinata thinks of the boy she used to play house with who wore face-paint when she was a little girl, and how as they got older he would let her curl up and cry on his couch when she was afraid to go home. And she thinks of how he's here now, confessing his love of sorts to her, and how strange it is that she somehow feels nothing in return (because he doesn't know everything, doesn't really know anything). Not even any sort of estranged guilt, never having led him on in any way (had she told him, he wouldn't love her, would he?).
She gives him a soft smile, "D-Don't worry, Kiba. There are much better girls th-than me out there."
"Silly girl," Kiba continues walking, "I don't want any of them."
-=Sakura=-
Sasuke
takes my hand,
something we're both so strangely
and completely
used to,
and rubs his thumb in a
circle
across the back of it.
Can you believe it?
"Hey, I
grabbed a few drinks.
Anybody
want one?"
Tenten asks,
raising a soda can to the
sky. Sasuke
lifts a hand and releases
mine to
catch the drink
sailing toward him.
"This is going to
explode
when I open it,"
I hear Temari grumble
as she fumbles
with hers.
Sasuke just sets his aside,
probably
assuming the same thing
about his own.
Or just wishing to hold your hand again.
My eyes water.
Everything smells of smoke
and
it burns in my chest.
My eyelids feel
heavy.
But I can't sleep.
I'm too awake and too totally
aware
of everything.
And everything is aware of you.
I lay a head on Sasuke's shoulder
and he
puts an arm around my waist.
And I'm so just completely
comfortable.
And
it's nice because I can
look at the sky and even though
there are lights,
artificial ones,
illuminating everything,
I can honestly say
this
is beautiful.
"You're perfect,"
Sasuke murmurs,
holding me a little bit more
tightly.
I want the fire to
consume us.
Love me.
-
-
-
They all sit outside, waiting for the sun to rise, Naruto half-asleep, with an arm draped over Hinata's shoulders, and Shikamaru lying on the ground on his back with half-lidded eyes, a few feet a way from Lee, who has finally nodded off. Temari feeds the fire, groggily, poking it with a long stick while Kiba watches in amusement. Neji and Tenten stand, holding hands, staring at the clouds in the distance, while Sakura sits contentedly beside Sasuke on a bench, wrapped in his arms, while she plays with his faintly-glowing bracelets. Kurenai watches them all in satisfaction, simply enjoying the chance to observe all of her students and their friends having fun.
"It's starting!" Tenten jumps in excitement, pointing at the horizon.
Everyone straightens up a little bit, somehow eager to watch something so simple, except for Sakura, who has fallen fast asleep.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the song used at the beginning. Those belong to their respective owners.
A/N: I finally got this chapter up! Yay! This chapter needed lots of editing since I wrote it in bits and pieces that needed to be pieced together. I hope you guys are happy with the fluff. I hope you don't think Sasuke is too out of character!
Guess what? It's my birthday this Saturday! I'm turning sixteen. Give me lots of review-presents? I'd like to know what you think and what you hope/expect to happen in the chapters ahead.
Thanks to my beta, Ira Feye!
-MT