Somebody

By. Misery's-Toll

Chapter Twenty-two: One Year the Wiser

Stop before you fall
into the hole that I have dug here
Rest even as you
are starting to feel the way I used to
I don't need a better thing
Just to sound confused

- 'Lose You' by Pete Yorn

---

There's something funny

about the concept of

sweet sixteens,

or maybe

just birthday parties in general.

Everyone celebrates

the fact that you were born

but

no one is really doing that,

they're just

celebrating the fact that they get

cake and

a good time,

and hey,

guess what?

You're the center of

attention.

That's the price of existing.

All I can think of is

all those other lucky girls who

get family heirlooms and

birthstone-rings

from mothers they still have.

They're so happy because they're

growing up and it's

their time

and it's

their life

but

I just want to

crawl back

into the womb and

exist there

forever.

Because someday

I'll

be on my own

and that scares me.

Yes, go on and cry like the infant you were meant to always be.

-=Ino=-

It's Sakura's sixteenth birthday.

What do you do for a sister that isn't really yours that you've snubbed horribly and tried to love but can't quite do it? (But you're trying, and that's supposed to be enough, right?) Ino knows this shouldn't bother her. She may have made some sort of rocky amends with the girl, but that doesn't mean their relationship is anything near sisterly and she's convinced she doesn't want it to be.

She just maybe sort of wants to know that when her child is born that she'll have someone else to support the girl (not a girl just because of what Sakura said, simply a gut feeling, and maybe the fact that she wants her maternal instincts to be stronger than Sakura's mental whispers) and that Sakura will have some sort of incentive not to run away with the Uchiha boy when he performs the inevitable and sweeps her off her feet. Not that Ino cares, of course.

Ino thinks that maybe the reason she's even thinking about this at all is because her hormones are making her crazy, thanks to the pregnancy and the stress of concealing it from her father and the words of Sai repeating in her head, telling her to just speak to Shikamaru like somehow that would make it okay, because of course there's no way Sakura would choose her over Sasuke after all she's done, and Ino would be insane to think otherwise. But it's not Shikamaru's child and he would not want it, and whether Ino still loves him or not is beside the point because everyone at school knows she's pregnant with the way she's been spouting the information and not once has he confronted her. So she has to win at least one of them over because it's certainly too late to give herself a new reputation and she needs some sort of guarantee from someone or something.

So that leads her back to the problem at hand. What to give Sakura?

Ino spends the entire early hours of the morning sifting through the things she's collected over the years, something fitting for a sixteenth birthday, hoping to find something beautiful and amazing, and oh-so-perfect...but when her alarm clock goes off for the third time, reminding her that she really should be heading off to school now, she has no choice but to grab all her school things from by the door and rush out before any real decision is made.

-=Sakura=-

Despite the pounding in her head, Sakura manages to pull herself out of bed, one step at a time. She limply pushes the sheets away from her body, and slinks out of bed, landing unsteadily in a heap on the floor. She holds a hand to her head for a moment before pulling on yesterday's pants, not yet standing up.

She contemplates putting a bra on under her cami for a moment before realizing that the only one nearby is a black one draped over the door-knob, and that would go quite uselessly under a white top. So she pries herself off the floor and stumbles into the front yard and decides to lie in the grass until Sasuke shows up.

You rely too heavily on him.

Ino doesn't notice Sakura as she exits the house in a flurry of dropped bags and curses, slamming the car door and zooming out of the driveway so quickly she almost hits the car backing out of the neighbor's garage. The horn's honking and the tire's screeching do nothing to help the girl's headache, so she throws an arm over her eyes and tries to meditate until she hears Sasuke's tires on the pavement.

She tiredly lifts an arm to show him where she is, and he hops out of his car and bounds over to where she is, obviously aware of the fact that he's a little bit late. He looks down at her with a slightly confused expression.

"Do you intend on going to school dressed like that?" he asks, "You might want to consider shoes."

Sakura blinks slowly, smiling despite her mood, "I'm staying home today."

He kneels down beside her, the grass crinkling beneath his feet. He puts a hand on her forehead for a second before pulling it away and nodding, "Let's get you back inside."

Watching Sasuke's movements makes Sakura dizzy and all she can think of over the loud pounding in her head is that she wants his cool hand back on her burning skin.

And your forehead isn't the only place you want him to touch you.

She just stares at the sky, breathing for a moment before pushing herself up and allowing Sasuke to half-carry her back into the house and into her room where he gently leaves her to her bed.

Sakura wants to go to sleep, but right now she can only think of how strongly she misses her mother and how she would bring soup to her bed on a tray when she was sick and how she would stroke a comforting hand upon her hair and sing her lullabies when she was younger.

Happy birthday.

-=Sasuke=-

When Sasuke turns around to leave, Sakura grasps the edge of his shirt and asks quietly, "Do you think maybe you could stay here with me today?"

He wants to. He thinks of how nice it could be to just spend a day with Sakura and how it could be just like when he stayed with her in the hospital, only now she isn't depressive and he isn't walking on egg-shells. But he also thinks of how finals are soon and how he's got a few missing homework assignments and a test to correct and a math review to attend if he wants to maintain his grades and graduate top of his class, so instead of doing what he wants, he gives her a shake of the head.

"I'll make a copy of today's notes for you," he says taking the hand holding his shirt in his, knowing he likes the feeling of it a bit too much, "I'll see you tomorrow."

He turns her light off and looks at the doorknob for a moment, staring at the bra that hangs from it for a second before leaving the room, and he thinks maybe he should have at least told her to get better soon, or something equally as pointless but expected.

-=Ino=-

Ino finds Sasuke swapping books out at his locker, Sakura nowhere to be found.

"Sasuke," she says and clears her throat, having to stand uncomfortably close to him with the crowd moving steadily through the hallway towards their first-period classes. She's suddenly very self-conscious of how she looks and smells. Whether Sasuke is off-limits or not, he's still incredibly gorgeous, "I think you should know that today is Sakura's birthday. I figure the best thing I can do is let you know that she's turning sixteen today so you can make it special for her."

Ino turns to walk away, Sasuke still staring after her, before turning back to face him, "By the way, I'm switching lockers back with her. She's all yours."

As she walks to the locker Sakura shares with Sai, somehow blending into the crowd, Ino is somewhat happy with a decision she's made for the first time in a long time.

-=Hinata=-

School is lonely without Sakura, and where Sakura isn't, neither is Sasuke, so Hinata spends most of the day with Kiba, Naruto, and Gaara, depending on what class period.

It's during second period when Kiba tells her that Hana says she misses her and that it isn't fair that Hinata lives behind them and never comes over for dinner. And so it's after school when she has to decline going to the park with the Naruto, but she makes it better with a kiss before running off to get a ride with Kiba and his sister.

"So, Hinata, it's been a long time since you've been over. Has your taste in food changed at all? I think my cooking has gotten better, so I can probably make pretty much anything you suggest," the young woman trails off.

"By that she means her cooking expertise has pretty much expanded to toast and microwave dinners," Kiba laughs at his own tease and ducks when Hana swings her purse at him.

When they get back to his house, they go to their conjoined backyards to climb their old fort.

"Check this out!" Kiba chuckles, "It's our wedding vows. Remember when Kurenai married us in the front yard? And all your stuffed animals and my action figures attended the wedding? Man, that is just hilarious."

"Y-yes, well you were the c-cutest kid on the block," Hinata laughs with him, happy that he is the one person she can joke freely with like this.

"Were? What do you mean 'were'? Unless you're implying that I've gone from the cutest to the hottest. Because I'd have to agree with you there."

"I w-wouldn't go that far..."

Hinata squeaks as Kiba tackles her and starts to tickle her, "Admit it! I won't stop until you admit it."

She holds her breath, trying not to laugh as her stomach muscles twitch and she curls into a ball. Finally she squeals and bursts into squeaky embarrassed laughter, "I g-give!"

"You have to say it."

"Y-you're the hottest k-kid on the block!"

Kiba nods, "That's more like it."

-=Sakura=-

Sakura sits in the living room, watching the television her father is usually in front of (there's in indentation in the couch where his weight has sunk in the cushion), watching a program on the channel he left it on. She doesn't ever watch TV. It makes her eyes hurt and her mind numb, but today that seems okay and really she's so lonely she wants to try to relate to her father and really try to understand why he would prefer to sit here all day instead of do something with either her or Ino.

Porn is interesting, she thinks. Watching it sends her blood rushing to places and it makes her body very warm, though she thinks maybe that could be from the fever that hasn't quite broken yet. It's kind of exciting in a way, but she wouldn't really say it's enjoyable. It makes her stomach knot and the area between her thighs ache, but she thinks that maybe she could chalk at least one of the two of those up to sickness.

You feel dirty, don't you? You're being naughty, and that scares you doesn't it?

No, she can't really understand it at all. The slight excitement isn't worth the aching or the sudden longing. She doesn't understand what all the hubbub over breasts is about. In every program she's seen, the man has always covered the woman's bosom with his tongue, or complimented her lovely endowments. Sakura can't help but think, why? Both males and females have them, just women have them bigger.

You're just jealous because you don't have any. You're so worried about leaving childhood behind, but here you are trying to play grown-up.

The doorbell rings and Sakura turns off the cable box, and she temporarily wonders how her father manages to afford one and thinks maybe they have it illegally until she realizes that walking is uncomfortable amidst the lust still pooling in her stomach. She opens the door to see Sasuke and is slightly surprised after his hasty retreat this morning. And she is even more surprised when she notices he's carrying a carton of cupcakes.

"Sorry. I only had ten bucks and the only things they had for less than that were princess themed," he shrugs, "Can I come in?"

She stares for a minute before nodding and making room for him and his cupcakes, shutting the door behind him.

"Why?" she asks, following him into the dilapidated kitchen where he lifts the lid and pulls out one of the cakes, handing it to her gently, attempting to avoid getting any frosting on his hands.

On top of the cupcake, and every other cupcake is a small pink ring with the image of one of the fairytale princesses she never familiarized herself with. She pulls it out of the mound of frosting and licks it clean before sliding it on her littlest finger.

"It's the best I could do on such short notice. Happy birthday, Sakura."

She looks up at him with wide eyes, and surprises herself when tears start to gather on her bottom lashes. And she suddenly wants to kiss him. Like in the fairytales she's never seen or read. But then she thinks maybe it's just because of the still-remaining lust that only intensified when he walked through the door, so she ignores the urge and just smiles instead.

"I love it. I'll keep this ring forever," she laughs childishly, and she can't help but think that maybe turning sixteen isn't so bad if she can think about sex and about princess rings at the same time.

-=Hinata=-

When Hana caught the pan of eggs on fire, they decided to order out instead. One meat-lovers and one plain-cheese pizza later, Kiba and Hinata moved outside to sit on the porch swing.

It creaks with each swing. It's old and familiar and comforting but it's also sort of cold outside because the weather still can't decide between spring and summer yet. Kiba drapes his hoodie over her shoulders without her asking to, and she gives him a sweet smile and a tiny blush in response.

"You're beautiful."

And then suddenly his lips are on hers and they're soft and smooth if not a little bit probing but it's not Naruto and it's wrong, wrong, WRONG--

Hinata pushes Kiba away, stumbling backwards a little bit and off the bench, eyes wide with shock and blush rising.

"Aww, shit," Kiba curses, lifting a hand towards her, "Hinata, I'm sorry. I just thought that... I mean, it seemed like..."

Her heart is leaping in her chest with something similar to dread (and she's sorry, Naruto, she's so, so sorry because its her fault anyways, and for a moment there she enjoyed it). And without listening to the rest of his jumbled explanation, she blurts, "D-Did you feel anything?"

"Did I what? Oh. I don't know. I mean, it was so fast and I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking. I'm so fucked up; why would I think that was okay? I mean it's not like-"

"Did y-you feel anything?" she persists, taking a daring step towards him. She needs to know, because if he felt something then it really is her fault and there's no way she can fix that.

He takes a deep breath and threads his fingers through his hair in a flustered sweep, "No. No, I didn't. I think that...I was wrong before. I think that really, I just love you like a sister. But I just fucked that up, didn't I?"

Hinata shakes her head to herself, "It... It's n-not your fault."

She walks back up to him and with an increasing blush she pecks him on the cheek before walking past him, down the porch steps and away from the house.

The walk to Naruto's is a long, but familiar trek. She's glad that she hadn't thought to return the jacket Kiba had draped over her shoulders, and the more she thinks about it, the surer she is that what happened really is her fault. That thought alone is enough to bring tears to her eyes as her gut becomes heavier and heavier with guilt and dread, but she tells herself it's okay, Naruto loves you and you love Naruto and it's okay. But she's also scared that some things can't be excused so easily.

She climbs the four flights to Naruto's apartment and knocks on his door urgently. When he comes to the door, shirt stained and eyes-bleary, only then does she realize what time it is, but that doesn't matter much in the whole scheme of things, but it still adds to the weight of her guilt when Naruto's expression becomes concerned, "Hinata, what's wrong?"

She flings herself forward and wraps her arms around his stomach, feeling so short and small, taking comfort in the smell of ramen. His arms come around her and engulf her tiny form and she feels safe here, but she's afraid that maybe that won't last long because after everything both Kiba and Naruto have done for her, she has to go and screw things up...

"Come on, Hinata," he says, and picks her up in a bear-hug, kicking the door shut behind him, and walking her to the sofa nearest the door where he drops her and pulls her into his lap. Her back is against the armrest and her legs take up the cushion next to him and she lays her head against his collarbone where he shushes her until her hiccup-sobs cease altogether.

"Tell me what's wrong? Please?" his voice is strained and his eyes are large and wondering. He pushes her tear-dampened bangs away from her face and presses his lips against her forehead.

She looks down, "You're going to b-be angry."

"Hinata, I could never be angry with you."

"Y-you should be," she murmurs.

"Tell me."

She takes a deep breath, "I was at Kiba's house b-because his sister wanted me over f-for dinner. And one thing l-lead to another and I guess I lead him on because he...he k-kissed me."

She buries her face in her hands, waiting for Naruto to do anything. Shout, storm away, anything.

"Well, what happened then?" Hinata jerks her head up to look at him in surprise. His voice is more strained and his eyes are harder, but she gets the feeling that the anger he feels isn't towards her.

"Well th-that's the thing. It's my fault because he didn't like it b-but...I did."

Naruto snorts, "Figures. I guess dog-breath does have more experience than I do. How dare he say he didn't like it? Want me to teach him a lesson?" He pats her head.

"I don't understand," Hinata whispers, still waiting for the moment he pushes her off his lap.

"Well, the only question I have is, what do you want to do about it? I'm still here if you want me. And if you want the mutt then I'll whoop his ass into shape until he deserves you. But you're welcome here. You're always welcome here," his eyes are a little watery, and Hinata can't help but wonder if he objects to that option as much as she does.

She giggles a little, though a couple more tears come down with it, "N-No, Naruto. I want you. I love you."

He holds her a little more tightly, "Good. But you can still expect a few bruises on the dog-boy's behind, come tomorrow."

Burrying herself further into his arms, Hinata has to wonder if he noticed her slip of the L-word or not.

-=Sasuke=-

Sakura is warm and soft and oh-so-light in his arms, if not a little bit sticky. In apology for not staying with her today, he agreed to stay over for the remainder of the evening. So they had popped in a VHS of a movie neither of them had ever heard of and settled comfortably, Sakura in Sasuke's arms and a blanket wrapped around them. So she could sweat her fever out, he'd said. Because in his arms her bones feel like twigs that her flesh clings to, so weak and white that he thinks maybe a fever could be enough to break her.

Some point during the beginning of the film, the girl had passed out, and now she dozes lightly, head against his chest, in tune with his heart and the air whooshing in and out of his lungs.

This moment feels perfect, like something he can hold onto, if somehow something goes wrong.

They could be boyfriend and girlfriend, he thinks. It sounds silly, ringing in his mind like the laughter of a small child (Sakura and Sasuke sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G...) and he thinks that with thoughts like these he might as well be writing her name in cursive on his notebooks for all the good it does. But still, they could be something. They could be together. They hold hands and he holds her and he buys her gifts and she accepts them and she makes his heart beat faster and makes him feel like he's worth something, but really that's probably just Sakura being Sakura and he cannot tell her he loves her and he cannot kiss her because it's all unspoken and neither of them really know. And he's afraid to ask what they are because that could break the illusion they've so comfortably set up for themselves. Though he'll never admit it, because that's one of the many rules of being an Uchiha; an Uchiha never questions things.

As the ending credits roll and bad pop music blares suddenly from the speakers, Sakura's eyelids flutter open. Sasuke watches from above as her eyelids flick, her eyes searching the room. Her fingers unconsciously tighten around his crinkled T-shirt and her joints pop as she stretches her creamlike legs, the hyperextension making them seem even paler. She curls back up and he tucks the blanket back around her bare feet (I want to protect you).

["You don't have to protect me. I just want to be friends."]

"Are you ready to get up, yet?" he asks her, amused.

She shakes her head into his chest, her hair mussing up further, "I don't want to move yet."

"I'm going to have to leave soon. My curfew is midnight and it's a little after eleven," he reminds her softly.

She shrugs briefly and then they sit in silence. She pulls a ring from one of her fingers (he doesn't know how, but somehow her small body managed to ingest three cupcakes in the course of one evening, and she proudly wears a ring for each cake she ate) and slips it onto the end of his little finger. His hand is much larger than hers and the ring doesn't go on much further past the first joint, but she seems satisfied enough.

["I'll keep this ring forever."]

"Hey, it's your birthday, not mine," he smirks, thinking of how there's no way in hell Naruto would be able to refrain from laughing his ass off at this moment. (Whipped! You're whipped, man.)

She smiles comfortably before slowly pulling herself out of his lap, taking the blanket with her, but keeping one of her hands in his, "Will you come back and see me tomorrow?"

"Hn," Sasuke grunts in affirmative before standing up and stretching his shoulders. The door seems too close and he doesn't want to leave the moment so quickly, but he thinks that sounds too cheesy so he pulls Sakura to her feet and walks them both to the door, "See ya."

"See ya," Sakura mimics, releasing his hand and waving to him, closing the door behind him as he leaves.

He's half-way through the drive home when he realizes he's still wearing the princess ring.

---

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or "Lose You" by Pete Yorn. This is a fan-made fic.

A/N: This chapter was difficult to think of. But once I started typing it, I couldn't stop and so I ended up writing the whole thing in one night. It just took until 4:00 am to complete it. Special, huh?

Please tell me what you think! I'm interested in knowing what you guys expect to happen...or just what you think about what has already happened!

Give a big thanks to my beta, Ira Feye!

And please check out the new poll on my profile, if you get the chance! Thanks!

-MT