Somebody
By. Misery's-Toll
Chapter 26: Child
No meaning, no meaning
Don't need your poison, me
I'll take the melancholy
And everybody here's on...
- "Is Everybody Here on Drugs?" by Catatonia
Two weeks have passed and everyone who was involved in the massive fight at the school dance is no longer suspended. Everything is strange and unsettling and there's only one sure thing and that is...
Sasuke is gone.
No one knows where he went, but he and his brother are gone without a trace.
-=Ino=-
Wringing hands, pretzel breath, why did she eat so many pretzels? Shivering, cold, cold, cold, no, nervous, what will happen? Abandonment, hatred, disappointment...
Ino walks up beside the sofa her father has sunken into. He doesn't seem to be the least bit ashamed that he's watching a program with two young women heatedly making out when his young daughter is standing right nearby, but then again, Ino thinks, who should be more ashamed here? The nothing-man who lost his wife or the not-so-innocent teenage girl with a fatherless baby inside her, brought on by her own mistakes?
She stands there for a few more moments, waiting for her father to notice or acknowledge her presence, but he doesn't; he just remains transfixed on the television with glazed yellow eyes, empty and nearly-empty beer cans littering the couch and the floor around him, some oozing their fattening carb-filled fluid onto the carpet.
Ino clears her throat, "Um...Daddy?"
He glances at her from the corner of his eye for a few seconds before looking back at the screen, "What do you want?"
"I need you to look at me."
"I'm lookin'."
"No, you're not! Look at me, God damn it!" Ino cries, stomping her foot, grabbing the remote and shutting off the TV's power. It flashes white with a crackle and turns black.
The aging man thins his chapped lips in agitation, but doesn't say anything. He stares at his daughter, his gaze lacking any depth or recognition. It makes Ino squirm, comparing this man to the father who loved her mother very much, and could almost love her but not quite.
"Are you listening?" he nods in reply, "Good. I have a confession to make. I've been lying. For a long time. For a really long time, actually. Remember when Sakura broke in to the IPC teacher's car? And when Sakura messed up the kitchen at school? And when she stole fifty bucks from mom's purse? And spilled juice on the radio? And pulled the fire alarm and got us expelled and had birth control pills and threw a wild party and snuck into principal Tsunade's office?"
She huffs, her voice having risen in speed and volume and distress, and she takes in a big gulp of air to try to calm herself down. She wants to cry. But she can't. Because she's not daddy's little girl anymore, and maybe Ino the Unbreakable never was.
"Yes."
"Those were...me. I broke into the car, and messed up the kitchen, and stole the money and not even only that one time, and I spilled juice on the radio, and convinced Sakura to pull the fire alarm, and those were my birth-control pills and that was my party, and I told Sakura I hated her and made her sneak into the principal's office to steal Tsunade's goddamned phone! And you know what? I did so much more! I stole the coat Uchiha Sasuke gave her, and took her locker so I could share it with him, and you know what, Dad? I cheated on my boyfriend Shikamaru that you didn't even know I had, and he found out, and I'm pregnant and its not even his baby and now he's left me and everyone hates me except for this stupid, stupid kid named Sai who can't even feel anything!"
Mr. Haruno blinks long and hard and scratches at his stomach. He shifts on the sofa, causing a few cans to clunk against each other and after thinking for a moment he looks back at Ino.
"Okay. What do you need?"
Ino starts to cry, laughing through her tears.
Maybe she can still be her daddy's little girl, pregnant or not.
-=Hinata=-
Hinata can finally return to school again. She looks a lot like Sakura did after her car wreck, though both her eyes are reddish yellow and bruised and her lips are split, and she's lucky enough not to have a broken arm or something worse. She needs to carry an inhaler with her again and take two pills three times a day, but she escaped surgery by a hairsbreadth and that's good enough for her.
When she sees Sakura again, she can't help but wince. The girl has stitches from her brow to below her cheek-bone, inflicted by the boy she loves (and loves her) and she seems completely broken over it. Sasuke is gone, and somehow Hinata can't help but think him a coward, leaving everyone behind just because of a secret he didn't want to be revealed and an accidental punch thrown in Sakura's direction.
"Y-You can't give your whole h-heart to a boy," Hinata says to the girl with a sad smile, linking her arm around the girl's, hoping the gesture is somehow comforting.
"Why not?" Sakura asks, the tone of her voice unrecognizable, "You can't just wait for him to give his heart to you."
They enter the Speech classroom. It seems so empty without Gaara.
-=Ino=-
"So I took your advice, and I finally told my dad about my pregnancy," Ino says, trading out her books while Sai waits for his chance to do the same.
"Your father is blind if he couldn't already tell."
"He's not exactly around a lot. And when he is, I think I cover myself up pretty well. Are you telling me I look fat?"
"I'm curious as to why you took that advice but decided against apologizing to your ex-boyfriend," Sai says, ignoring her question and shifts the weight of his books between arms, no curiosity lining his voice despite his claim. Ino zips up her backpack and steps away from the locker to give Sai access to it and throws her bag over her shoulder.
"I didn't actually put any merit into anything you said until recently. And now I think it's probably too late. What does Shikamaru care what happens to his pregnant ex-girlfriend? It's not his baby, I cheated on him, and we broke up months ago. Why would he want anything to do with me?" She rolls her eyes and strokes her ponytail subconsciously.
"I always thought people appreciate apologies, late or not," Sai shrugs, giving her a blank smile before shutting the locker with a firm shove and he spins the dial on the lock, resetting it.
"Okay. I think maybe I'll do it. But you're still a lunatic. I'll meet you at the usual spot when I'm done, if I still have time."
Ino turns and walks away, heading towards the courtyard. Most of the picnic tables are overcrowded, and the shady spots beneath the trees are all taken, but none by Shikamaru. A few of the people she used to sit with before everything that happened stare at her with curious expressions, and she rubs her hand over her swollen abdomen absent-mindedly. She walks past the football field where several people litter the bleachers, laughing and shouting.
There's another courtyard on this side of the building. Ino finally finds Shikamaru at a table with a pink-haired girl she vaguely remembers getting in a cat-fight with simply because her appearance reminded her of her sister when she had been in a bad mood, along with Karin and a few guys she's fairly certain she slept with at one point or another. And then she realizes exactly how Shikamaru found out about her little hobby, and she feels a little hollow.
"Shikamaru," her mouth feels like sandpaper, and her heart beats like a drum in her chest, and her fleeting thought that somehow makes its way through her murky mind is that all of this stress is bad for the baby...
"Well if it isn't the pregnant bitch," Tayuya, whose name Ino suddenly remembers, says.
Ino offers the girl a weak smile, and forces out, "Shikamaru, could I please speak to you?"
He looks uncomfortable as he fumbles with the package of cigarettes in his pocket before finally nodding and following her around the corner of the building. He watches her suspiciously as he pulls out one of his cigarettes and lights it up, taking a drag from it.
"Could you put that out, damn it? I'm pregnant!" she snaps at him, and immediately regrets it when she sees his astonished look, "Sorry..."
Regardless, he drops the health-hazard into the grass and crushes it with his work boots that she thinks probably aren't used for anything close to working.
"What'd you want to tell me, Ino?" he asks, slouching against the brick wall, once again sticking his hand in his pocket to fiddle with the pack. And she thinks of how that hand never touched her.
"Those things will kill you, you know," she whispers, before shaking her head, "But that's not what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell you that I fucked up big time, and I'm sorry. I don't have any excuses. I have an infant growing inside me, so it's a little too late for any of those, I guess. But yeah. I'm sorry."
He gives her half a smile with no real glee in it, "Any clue who the father is?"
She returns the half-hearted gesture, "No. I prefer it that way. No obligation towards letting whoever it is know."
"I see," he says, shrugging, "Well, I gotta finish up helping Sakon with his Physics. So I'll be seeing you around, I guess." He begins to walk away, lighting up another cigarette on his way back.
"Those things really will kill you, you know!" she calls after him, her voice wavering as she cradles her belly. He vaguely waves a hand at her in dismissal and turns the corner. She stands alone, sniffling for a minute, the remaining residue of smoke in the air burning her nose before Sai appears beside her, his phony smile nowhere to be seen.
"You should eat. A mother should eat more than she would usually to properly nourish her child and herself during pregnancy."
Ino nods to herself wearily, "Yeah...okay."
-=Sakura=-
He left. What are you going to do now?
Sakura doesn't know quite what to do with herself. Sasuke's been gone before, but that was different. She knew he would be back. Now she isn't so sure. Naruto occasionally blathers on about how Sasuke will most definitely return, but Sakura thinks he's trying to convince himself rather than reassure her.
"Naruto, I wanted to ask you something."
Naruto's nose is still purple-red-green and his face still looks horribly maimed (as well as the rest of his body, she's sure since hers is still covered in the remnants of blotchy bruises as well), and he's barely recognizable.
"Of course, Sakura," he says a little too cheerily, probably quite afraid of breaking her.
She bites her lip, not knowing how to begin, "On...that night...Karin said that the reason they jumped us was because...you owed their group something. And I was wondering what that was."
Naruto's mouth falls open, his face draining of color. He immediately snaps his mouth shut and looks away. He turns around and stubs his toe in the grass for a second, "Yeah. Yeah, it's my fault. Is that what you wanted to hear? It's my fault that you and Hinata got hit and I don't even deserve to ever speak to her again. I fucked up, Sakura. I fucked up bad."
Sakura reaches out and touches his arm, "Naruto, I just want you to tell me what's going on. What do you owe them? I'm worried."
Naruto kicks a small rock and it goes flying away, hitting a tree and disappearing into the grass. He turns back around to face her but can't meet her eyes until the last second, "Fuck. Gaara wasn't the only one using, okay? I owed them money for drugs and I couldn't pay them back. I don't know how I'm going to do it, Sakura! I don't have that kind of money, even with my job. I live on my own, okay? I have no parents and when I'm home alone the house just gets so quiet and I can't take it so I use..."
Sakura's eyes begin to tear up, "Naruto...Hinata will forgive you...but you have to quit using. It's bad for you and it's bad for her for you to be doing it and if you want to make it up to her, you're going to have to. Or you could get killed. Just explain what's going on to her and I'm sure she'll understand. She loves you a lot."
Naruto buries his face in his hands, "I don't deserve her forgiveness."
"You will."
-=Hinata=-
After the bell rings, Hinata takes in a deep, shuddering breath. She steps towards Kabuto's desk tentatively.
"You wanted to speak with me?" her voice comes out uncharacteristically high and squeaky and she can't help but mentally berate herself. I cannot show fear. I cannot show fear. I cannot show fear. A mantra in her head.
"Yes," he says, and then goes silent. The door clicks shut as the last student leaves and only then does he continue, "I wanted to apologize."
"Um...f-for what?" she asks, looking at the floor and imagining she's anywhere else. With Naruto maybe. She imagines he's standing right behind her, his hand on her shoulder, comforting and ready to protect.
"For...what happened. For what I did. You know what I'm talking about, I think. I can't express how completely utterly sorry I am. I should die for what I did to you," he says, pushing his glasses higher up on the bridge of his nose, "I'm sorry for the trouble I caused and...well...you know."
Hinata looks up at him, her entire body shaking, her eyes clouding with water and lips trembling, "You g-got me pregnant. I lost the baby, but I would have n-named her Mi. It means beautiful."
Kabuto's eyes are wide and far away and remorseful and his words come out slowly when he says, "I wish I could have met her."
"Yes. Me too."
-=Sakura=-
Gaara sits at a table,
waiting for us when we arrive but
he's dazed and sedated and it takes him a minute or so
to even realize that we're
here
or even that he himself
is here.
His lips part slowly
and he speaks sluggishly,
his words
slurring as he whispers,
"Mother.
Mother, who...is...this?"
For a moment I think he's
talking about the orderly but
it soon becomes clear that he is talking about
Kankurou
and as much as this hurts me,
I'm sure it hurts Kankurou
even deeper.
What is family, anyway?
By the time I
answer
he seems to have forgotten his question and I
think that maybe
I'll cry but
Kankurou's unwavering presence beside me
keeps me strong enough
You're numb. Sasuke is gone and you're numb,
and some how
we make it through.
We ask him questions
about friends he's made and
daily activites but
Gaara can only manage vague,
short answers
that he doesn't seem to be sure of.
Who is ever sure of anything? You?
"It's
just at the beginning,"
the superintendent
assures us repeatedly,
"Until his body is
completely healed. We
don't want him getting upset and
ripping open the stitches."
Like they care anything for him.
When we leave Gaara behind,
the orderly
wheels him away and
Gaara doesn't even lift his head to say goodbye, he
just sort of accepts that
now its time to go and
time to disappear into that dark
drug-induced
slumber.
Kankurou leaves me off at home
and
even though its after 11:00 I
call Hinata anyway.
"No one was beating Gaara, Hinata.
The person he's been
claiming
to beat him has been
dead
for years and...
His uncle...
Gaara's uncle tried to
kill him when he was
young-"
So very, very young...
"-and Gaara stabbed him to
death.
He's been doing this to himself.
All
this
time."
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or "Is Everybody Here on Drugs?" by Catatonia. Those belong to their respective owners, blah blah blah.
A/N: I'm sorry if I made it seem like I was threatening to discontinue the story from lack of reviews at the end of the last chapter, you guys. I totally didn't mean to make it sound like that. I was just sorta wonderin' if people were still reading, and you definitely were, based on the response I got. Thank you so much for your continued encouragement! You guys really are amazing. There's only one chapter left now, so get ready!
Please review, and give a big thank you to Ira Feye for beta-ing!
-MT