Title: Harry Potter and the Summer From Hell

Author: Ladye Black

Warnings: Uh, cutting…yeaaahhh, but not a lot.

Disclaimer: They still won't let me have Sev, and he's the only one I really want. –pout-

Notes: Thanks for the reviews, and the hits 'cause I can see them now. (That's a pretty cool feature, by the way.) So, thanks for reading!

Chapter 18

For a moment, there was only silence. "Ah, well, you see Severus…I'm afraid I can't tell you."

Snape's eyes narrowed with displeasure. "What do you mean you 'can't tell me'?"

"The spell has very specific instructions, and one of them is that the one on whom it is cast upon cannot know of the spell, or at least, cannot know the name of the spell." The older man's expression became soft with something like pity. "I'm sorry, Severus, I know you do not like having an unknown spell cast upon you but I do it for you safety only."

"No," Snape said quietly. "You do not do it for me, you did it for yourself. You did it so that you can have peace of mind." Snape's temper rose, and along with it, so did his voice. "You did it, so that if something happens to me you can say, 'Oh well, I tried my best, poor boy was going to self-destruct sometime, good thing it was when I wanted him to!'"

"Professor!"

"You did it, so that you can have someone keep an eye on me and then when you're ready, you will use me as you see fit!" Snape's face was pale with anger. He was surprised at how much saying what he had suspected out loud hurt.

"Now, Severus…"

"No, Headmaster! Don't try to deny it! I've known for a long time that I was only a pawn to you, an important pawn perhaps, but still disposable if my use ran out. I have no problems with that." Snape clenched his fists and reined his temper in. Taking a few deep breaths, he continued. "My only problem with it is that you have dragged Harry into it as well."

He looked the Headmaster straight into the eye to say the last bit. "Don't drag him into you schemes, Headmaster. Let him live. He can have a future and he doesn't need you meddling with it."

Snape pulled himself up to his full height, which still left him about half-an-inch shorter than Dumbledore. "Now, please leave."

Dumbledore sighed quietly. "I wish you would believe me, Severus," he said as he headed out the door. "I truly do care for you, my boy."

"No, Albus, you don't. You can't. You have a war to worry about. I understand that."

The old man looked up from the bottom of the steps into black eyes. "One day, my boy, I hope you can accept that people do care about you," he said sadly and then disappeared.

For a moment, Snape stared at the spot the Headmaster had stood in. Behind him, he heard the door softly open then close, but he made no move to turn around.

"You know, I think he really does care about you."

Snape's only answer to that was a soft snort of disbelief.

Harry stepped up next him. "Really! I think he does, why else would he go to the trouble of hiding you?"

Snape, already having asked himself the same question, had an answer ready. "Because, I may still prove useful in this war, if nothing more than another wand casting spells against Voldemort."

He turned abruptly and went inside the house up to his room, leaving Harry still on the porch, wondering what else had happened to his Professor to make the man believe that he was worth so little. Snape closed and locked the door to his room, not wanting to be interrupted in what he was about to do. He knew many would consider it weak, he himself thought it so, but it seemed that the only way he could maintain his sanity during this war was to atone in such a small way when he couldn't in other ways that were more useful.

From under his bed, he brought out a small box that he carried with him almost everywhere, and set it on the nightstand beside him. He stood and took off his robe, revealing the shirt and trousers he wore underneath. Rolling up his left sleeve, he sat on the bed, then flicked open the box. Inside laid an ornate dagger of ivory and gold filigree on red velvet. He took up the dagger with his right hand and with a calm, practiced motion, he drew a line over the Dark Mark.

It burned. Not the Dark Mark, but the line. The dagger had a content of silver in it, which was dangerous to those of his Demon heritage. However, since he was part Angel as well, it took a lot of silver to kill him, not something he really had to worry about since silver was never really associated to harming anything but werewolves and some other creatures that Muggles considered 'mythical'. He didn't think they'd be hunting him anytime soon.

He got in another slash before he heard footsteps pounding up the stairs. He had momentarily forgotten about how well the spell worked. Just as he picked up a piece of cloth from the drawer in the nightstand the door to his room burst open and Potter came stumbling in.

The boy took a moment to orient himself, and when he finally straightened, he stared at Snape. Licking his lips, he uttered one word, "Why?"

Severus took a moment to soak up some of the blood that was leaking towards his elbow, not wanting to stain his shirt. "It is a psychological effect, Mr. Potter. I doubt you'll be able to understand 'why'."

Harry stumbled a few steps over to him, his face bloodless, and an emotion in his eyes that Snape couldn't quite place. The boy grabbed onto his shoulders and shook him slightly, as if reinforcing his words. "Never do that again. Do you hear me? Never!"

Snape reached up and placed his hands over Harry's, subtlety trying to get him to loosen his grip. "Yes, Mr. Potter, I hear you."

"Promise me."

"I don't know if I can do that."

The boy brought his face closer to Snape's, a fierce look in his eyes. "Promise me."

For a moment, Snape said nothing. "…I will try not to do it again, that I can promise," he looked straight into the other's eyes, frighteningly aware that their faces were only an inch a part. "That is all I can promise you."

The hands on Snape's shoulders tightened their grip, and Harry's lips thinned into white lines. Green eyes peered into his, as if searching his soul for something. Snape wasn't quite sure what it was, perhaps the truth in his statement, but Harry seemed to find it because his grip loosened and he stood straight.

"All right then. C'mon, let's bind that up properly." The boy held out a hand to Snape, it was large and square, and he was mystified when he saw his own hand reach out and take it. His hand was smaller and thinner than Harry's, paler too of course, and it fit comfortably within the other's. Easily, Harry pulled him up and led the way to the bathroom, never letting go of his professor's hand.

TBC…

Ooh, yeah, this might be the longest chapter I've written yet. Well, it at least has more words to the story than the others.