Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, we would all be in serious trouble.

Warnings: This fic has bad language. Virgin ears be warned!

Chapter 13: Pineapple Pedophilia

Monday for Ino was not a good day. Well, it wouldn't have been a good day anyway, but it was only made worse by the events that had taken place on Friday night. Namely the fact that she had puked all over two of the hottest, most popular boys in the school. She wasn't the type of person who was used to being talked about in a humiliating way like this, and she didn't appreciate the way all those losers laughed at her behind her back.

Luckily, it could have been much worse. Girls like her were expected to be horrible drinkers, lightweights who couldn't handle their alcohol and consumed far too much without any thought (something she would never do again now that she knew her pathetically small limit), so no one was overly surprised something like this had happened. If the jocks and other socially elite boys ever actually encountered a girl who could knock down as many beers as them, they probably wouldn't know what to do.

It was also a good thing it had been Sasuke and Neji she had thrown up on. The ravens were both cold, withdrawn, snotty bastards, but they weren't like the rest of the popular crowd. They didn't go around complaining about what had happened, didn't talk about Ino and call her names, didn't really do anything at all except glare at anyone who dared bring the subject up to their face... Or at least, that's what Neji did. She hadn't actually seen Sasuke that day, but if Hyuuga was reacting a certain way, chances are Uchiha was doing the same. Nearly anyone else would have tried to ruin her for the incident.

Besides, even if they had been awful, horrible people about it, Ino knew deep down she still wouldn't really get angry with them. They had helped her out that night, gave her a ride home, were even quietly polite during said ride, all after she had been the one to mess up in the first place. That alone was more than anyone else would have done. So really, it wasn't that bad.

Now if only this day wasn't horrible for a completely different reason.

Dattebayo!

Neji entered Mitarashi-sensei's classroom, his usual scowl in place. The day had been somewhat trying for the angry boy. Everyone kept talking about what had happened with Ino, which meant they were talking about him, which meant quite a few of them wanted to talk with him. Like he had ever seemed interested in conversation with those morons he shared a school with before. Like he wanted to remember the disaster that was his past Friday night. Or the torturous interrogation with his uncle the next day.

Then just to rub salt in the wound, Gaara and Lee were talking happily (well, Lee was happy and Gaara wasn't threatening anyone) about the events of their Friday night. From what he could tell, they'd both had an amazing time. Not that he cared... he definitely wasn't jealous or anything...

Ignoring the way Tenten kept looking guiltily over her shoulder at Lee and the way Lee purposely kept his body turned away from the bun-haired girl, Neji propped his head up on his fist with a sigh. He couldn't help but vaguely wonder how Uchiha was handling this. Surely he wasn't taking it any better than Neji himself.

Dattebayo!

Sasuke groaned and tried desperately to block out Naruto's senseless chatter and Sakura's insistent flirting, trying to restrain himself from strangling the both of them and being done with it. Thank God Sai was quiet. Creepy, but quiet.

This had been the day from fucking hell. It was bad enough that all these fucking jagoffs who thought they were his friends kept coming up and trying to talk to him (why could they never take a fucking hint?), but he was also running a nice, high fever that was accompanied by an unrelenting, pounding headache. He knew he shouldn't be in school, should have just stayed home to finish recovering, definitely shouldn't have stayed for the program, but...

He shut his eyes and tried not to think about it. The way he'd woken up on Saturday sick and feverish to the point of near delirium. The way his brother's face had rippled in front of his eyes, obviously concerned. The way he had laid a cool, gentle hand on his hot forehead, pushed his sweaty hair back, helped him take his medicine, gotten him anything and everything he could possibly need or want. The way he'd taken care of him so lovingly...

It made Sasuke sick to his stomach. Just what the hell did Itachi think he was playing at, pretending to care so much? Did he really think Sasuke was buying it? He knew the truth. Itachi was a cold, unfeeling bastard whose soul only wasn't black as night because he didn't have a fucking soul. And so after waking up that day and realizing the bastard had turned off his alarm and he'd missed his first three periods, the irate younger raven had demanded his brother drive him to school, using the excuse of not wanting to miss a test when the older had seemed reluctant. Because he just couldn't stand to stay home one more day and have his brother take care of him again.

He couldn't stand it when his brother pretended he loved him.

Dattebayo!

"-and it was totally awesome. Seriously, man, you shoulda been there. You would've had a great time."

Shino inclined his head, keeping vigilantly silent as per usual. Not was it only in his nature, but it was often easier to just let Kiba do all the talking.

"Then we met up with Hinata-chan and Sakura. You know Sakura Haruno, right? Course you do. Anyway, we met them at the mall and went to Denny's, it was pretty cool." A feral grin spread across his crimson dusted cheeks. "I got to sit next to Hinata-chan."

Another slow nod. He definitely didn't want to get into that kind of conversation with Kiba, especially not about sweet, little Hinata. Shino found he rather liked the dark-haired girl, certainly more than he liked most people. It was hard not to.

"Too bad she's so crazy for Narutard. Lucky bastard don't even see it when s'right in front of him. It's like danglin' a steak in front of a dog and havin' it turn away and go after a measly bone instead... one with pink hair. I mean, c'mon, Sakura barely even tolerates him. And, well I guess she is kinda pretty and all, but compared to Hinata... c'mon, man, there's no competition."

A bland hum. When would Hinata return from the restroom?

Kiba sighed. "Oh well, that's Naruto for ya. He's always been that way, ever since I met him... Moron."

Kurenai-sensei seemed to be running awfully late that day.

"But yeah, what I wanted to tell ya was that since we all had such a great time, we're planning on gettin' together at least once over Thanksgiving break. Go hang out and just do stuff like we did Friday. Movies, mall, whatever. Maybe crash at someone's house... you get the idea. So... I dunno, if you maybe... wanted to give me your number or somethin', I could give you a call whenever we make actual plans. That way you can come if you're free... and you want to."

Shino stared.

The classroom door opened and Kurenai entered speaking softly with a blushing Hinata, apparently having met up with her in the hallway. Both females offered the boys small smiles, the older of the pair looking particularly amused. "Sorry I'm late, guys. Did you two manage to keep yourselves occupied?"

Kiba grinned her way. "Yeah, sensei, no problem. Me and Shino were just talkin'."

"Oh? Did you have a nice conversation?"

The smaller boy chuckled good-naturedly, suppressing an eyeroll at how patronizing the woman could sound sometimes. They were young, but they weren't little kids. "Yeah, of course we did."

Shino... found himself internally agreeing.

Dattebayo!

Naruto yawned, rather loudly, into the palm of his hand, earning himself a nasty glare from the pink-haired girl next to him. He mumbled a sheepish apology, not that he had meant to be annoying. He was just bored. They didn't have an 'activity', as Kakashi-sensei called them, planned for that day, which meant the day was supposed to just be 'open discussion'. Meaning the kids were supposed to talk amongst each other about whatever tickled their fancy. The problem was that no one but him seemed very interested in talking. Sai would much rather draw, Sakura would rather do her algebra, and Sasuke... well, teme didn't look so good to be honest. He was just sort of staring at the table with glazed, dark eyes. Kakashi-sensei, likewise, was just sitting at the silent table with his face propped up on his fist, glancing at the clock every two minutes. Naruto sighed. This really just wouldn't do.

"So..." he started cautiously, on full alert should Sakura's fist try to reacquaint itself with his skull, "what are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?"

His inquiry was met with four blank stares.

"Y'know, since it's this Thursday and all. Are you, like... spending it with your families... or something?"

More silent staring, and he began to shift uncomfortably in his seat. What had he said? It wasn't that weird of a question to ask, at least he hadn't thought it was. In fact, he was sure it wasn't. The usual group of guys had talked about it over lunch that day, and none of them had found it strange. "What?" After a pause, he added, "Don't tell me none of you have plans."

The very thought was shocking. Thanksgiving wasn't exactly Christmas, but most American families still did something on that day, whether it be a casual microwave dinner in front of the TV watching football, to a full-out formal sit-down feast with everyone front Great-aunt what'shername to every third cousin in the phonebook; but they did something. For all three classmates and his teacher to have no plans...

"My family doesn't celebrate holidays," Sai said with a smile while Sakura muttered something about her mother working and Sasuke stayed moodily silent. Immediately Naruto's mind began to whirl.

"Hey, y'know, Tanuki-chan's sister is working too, and his brother is doing somethin' with his girlfriend or somethin', so he's comin' over to my house for dinner. Do you guys... I dunno, do you wanna come too? Iruka won't mind."

A long silence followed after his offer, though not really the uncomfortable kind. Sai and Sakura had both abandoned their pencils in favor of focusing on the blond and Sasuke hadn't looked up, but rather studied the scratched tabletop with even more fervor than before, all carefully considering their options. It was with a bit of a jolt that Naruto realized whatever exactly it was his classmates did around the holidays, his household was the most 'normal'. He was the one who did the 'family thing' more than anyone else in the room. If someone had told him when he was younger that this day would come, he would have asked them just what exactly they were on.

Finally, Sakura said very slowly, "Umino-sensei wouldn't mind? You're sure?"

Naruto's grin was wide enough to split his face open, elated that his crush was even considering his offer. "Nah, Iruka really wouldn't care how many people came. I just need to give him a little bit of warning, that's all. The more the merrier."

The pink-haired girl nodded, admitting that did sound like their old elementary school teacher. Always kind, caring, without a doubt one of the friendliest people any of them had ever met. And while she wasn't one hundred percent sure she wanted to spend more time out of school with Naruto and his loud, annoying ways, it would be nice to have a real Thanksgiving dinner, to be able to get out of the house for the holiday...

"I'll come."

Sasuke's sudden proclamation startled everyone, but after the initial shock wore off, Naruto's smile managed to grow. "Really, teme? Sweet!"

Sasuke nodded stiffly, eyes still transfixed on the table. This would be nice. It was the perfect way to get away from Itachi and his insistence on trying to act like a family or something, the way he did every holiday. Acting as if he hadn't single-handedly destroyed their family.

"If Sasuke-kun's going, I will too!" Sakura immediately squealed, wincing a bit when she realized just how she had sounded. Sasuke's words still came back on occasion to haunt her, reminding her what he thought of her usual behavior around him, and she really was trying to tone it down. Old habits just died hard.

Naruto's smile faltered for a bit, feeling put-out by Sakura's reasoning, but it quickly renewed itself when he realized that at least she'd be there, even if it was only because of teme. "Awesome, dattebayo!" His eyes flashed over to the only one who hadn't said anything yet. "Sai, how 'bout you?"

Sai was silent for a while longer, his mind far away, years away really, from the classroom his body currently resided in. He had been completely truthful when he said his family didn't celebrate holidays... any holidays. Danzou didn't believe in them. But... he could remember a time... there was something extra special and warm about the small house. Sweets that were normally carefully restricted could be found in abundance, cookies or candy everywhere. Decorations of varying kinds were put up with a type of near reverence. There were always extra smiles to go around. And then for some holidays, presents, there seemed like there were so many packages, all in shiny paper, wrapped up beneath a tree, or set on the kitchen table with balloons around...

With a small start, he was brought back to the present, blinking several times to gain his bearings. He had really zoned out for a moment there. And his stomach ached. "Yes, Dickless, I would very much like to join you. If you're sure it's all right with your family."

Naruto, more startled by Sai's agreeing than either of the other's, was quick to reassure. "It's no problem really. Iruka wouldn't care if I invited the whole school, though that would be kind of expensive." He scratched a scarred cheek absently. "Oh, you never met Iruka! Sorry, I'm used to, like, everyone knowing him. He teaches at the elementary school, he's really nice. Everyone likes him..." Here he broke off his babbling, a sly smile crossing his lips as his eyes darted over to their masked English teacher. "Hey, Kakai-sensei, you're more than welcome to come to y'know. I'm sure Iruka would just love to have you there."

The other three kids knew they were missing something when Kakashi blushed to the roots of his silver hair and looked away, coughing uncomfortably into his hand. "Thanks anyway, Naruto, but, uh, I need to take my dog to the vet that day."

"But the vet's not open on a holiday," the blond said sweetly, blue eyes wide with mock innocence.

"This is a special vet," Kakashi deadpanned.

"The imaginary kind?"

As the program went on in a similar fashion, Kakashi had to repeat over and over to himself that strangling a student wasn't worth the resulting loss of pension.

Dattebayo!

Asuma was pissed. Not annoyed, not upset, not even just plain angry, but pissed. Ino was being a bitch. Well, admittedly, Ino was quite often a bitch, but not like this. Never before had she been so blatantly rude and disrespectful to, not only the boys, but him as well. And he did not appreciate it.

Since it had been an open discussion day, he had tried to get the kids started on a topic of conversation that was safe and they would all enjoy. Remembering how Ino was a closet nerd, and how she tended to relax her 'prom queen facade' at least a little during group, he promptly brought up video games. The boys went along with it easily enough, talking about everything from the newest 360 games to the old Sega Genesis. Asuma was a bit surprised both when Ino stayed completely silent during the beginning of the conversation and when the boys made no move whatsoever to include her in it. Normally when she was in an anti-social mood, Shikamaru would use a combination of friendly inquiries and playful taunts to draw her out of the shell she wanted to hide in. Today, however, he seemed content to just leave her be.

Unfortunately, that really wasn't what the program was about. So, doing his job like a good little drone, he attempted to bring her into the conversation. He wasn't expecting the volatile reaction he got in response.

Left and right, Ino started hurling biting comments, spitting out hurtful words, degrading all three males in the room at every opportunity. Asuma immediately wished he had followed Shika's lead and left her be, because this was not okay. Being moody, bitchy, occasionally hostile, all of those were ingrained parts of Ino's personality, the big man was well aware of that, but this... this was taking things to a whole new, unacceptable level.

Now, Asuma was all too aware of what had happened at Josh Marsh's party that past Friday night. Despite what the students tended to think, he and all but the most ancient of teachers were aware of their gossip and heard far more about the kids personal lives than they'd often like to. For some reason, teenagers seemed to think their teaches couldn't hear them when they were sitting only three feet away, talking about how wasted they'd gotten the previous night. It was an all too common misconception.

It was for that reason that Asuma knew Ino had gone to Marsh's party, gotten drunk, and thrown up, apparently all over Sasuke Uchiha and Neji Hyuuga. Everyone was talking about it. And he could see being the center of that kind of gossip taking its toll on the overly popular girl, which was why some degree of nasty behavior could be excused. But this...

"Look," he finally growled, "I don't know just what your problem is, but you had better get over it fast, because this kind of behavior is not acceptable."

Ice blue eyes glared at him, clearly daring him to actually do something about said behavior.

"Sensei," Shika muttered in an oddly subdued voice, "don't."

That was another thing that confused the hell out of Asuma. Why the hell was Shikamaru letting Ino get away with this crap without a word? He never let her insult either himself or Chouji without at least fighting back.

"I don't need you to defend me, pineapple head," Ino snapped with a ridiculous amount of malice in her tone. It was that more than the words themselves that had Asuma on edge.

"Ino, I'm warning you," he reiterated, eyes narrowing, but she cut him off with an angry, "Fuck it, I don't need this shit," immediately getting to her feet and swinging her bag and purse over her shoulder.

"Hey," Asuma barked, wishing he could pick the girl up and physically put her back in her seat to end this glorified temper tantrum, "there's still ten minutes left."

She didn't even look at him, just threw a clear, "Blow it out your ass, sensei," over her shoulder, slamming the classroom door behind her as she left.

Oh yeah, Asuma was seething.

Shutting his eyes for a moment and trying to get his own temper back under control he grit his teeth and forced out, "Go. Just go. I'll see you tomorrow," to the silent boys. He didn't want to keep them around and risk taking his anger out on them when they'd done nothing wrong.

As they moved to comply, however, he reached out and caught Shika by the arm, fixing him with a hard stare. "You mind telling me just what the hell that was all about?" Because he knew the boy genius knew.

With an aversion of eyes, the lazy teen shrugged and muttered, "It's the sixteenth," before he pulled his arm from the teacher's grip and went over to his friend waiting by the door.

Dattebayo!

Gaara stepped out of the school's front doors with Lee by his side, exchanging goodbyes with the much taller boy as he set off across the parking lot on his walk home, noting that Sarutobi's group was already there, Shika and Chouji leaning against one wall while Ino was across the way, leaning on the other, shoulders hunched, arms hugging herself in a defensive manner. Not at all like the usual, self-assured blond.

Not really caring what was wrong with the bitch, Gaara made his way over to the two boys, nodding his greeting to them both. "Hey, Gaara," Shika drawled with his usual lazy grin. "We still on for today?"

"If you don't mind."

Naruto came out of nowhere then, a blur of yellow and blond, immediately chatting away about how his group were all coming over for Thanksgiving, and Gaara should try and be nice to all of them when they were there, and he was so happy Sakura-chan was coming, and he couldn't believe teme and Sai-bastard had both said they would come, and, "Bye, Sakura-chan!"

There was the usual pause, the minute turning of the pink head, the resigned sigh, and a much more subdued, "Goodbye, Naruto."

Naruto grinned like the idiot he was.

"Hey... Sakura!" a gruff voice suddenly yelled, startling Gaara a bit because Kiba had never before been able to sneak up behind him like that.

Sakura paused once more, actually turning around fully this time to face the boy who had called her, eyebrows raised in a silent 'what?'.

Kiba cleared his throat harshly. "Look, it's stupid for you to walk all the way home, and... y'know, it's cold. My mom or sister come get me everyday so... I mean you live right down the street."

Sakura eyed him hesitantly before asking with completely genuine curiosity, "Why are you suddenly being so nice to me?"

The dog-lover didn't even pause to answer, "Because you're suddenly being nice."

Though Naruto was completely lost, Sakura didn't need Kiba to clarify his statement. She made her way back over to the group of boys with a soft, "Thanks."

While Gaara double-checked with Naruto that Iruka could give Shikamaru a ride to his place as well ("Of course he can, Tanuki-chan, he's already going there anyway."), Kiba eyed Ino suspiciously from his spot against the wall. "What's wrong with princess over there?"

This drew everyone's attention to the rather distraught looking blond, but Chouji was quick to answer in a surprisingly firm voice, "Leave her alone today, Kiba. She's not feeling well." Sakura fiddled with the hem of her coat and Shikamaru stared at the toes of his worn-out, generic Converse.

All three of them were rather grateful when a distraction came in the source of a blushing Hinata. Immediately making her way to Sakura, the pale-eyed girl smiled, opened her mouth to speak, and was immediately cut off by an equally pale-eyed boy striding by her and impatiently snapping, "Now, Hinata-sama," without pause. There were more than a few scowls sent his way when Hinata complied instantly and without complaint.

Being mean to Hinata just wasn't okay.

Dattebayo!

Ino really wished it wasn't November sixteenth. She had her reasons, of course. The sixteenth of every month was dreaded for her. Because when her parents got divorced, they had worked out a rather interesting way to share custody. The first through the fifteenth of every month, Ino stayed with her father. The sixteenth through the rest of the month, she stayed with her mother.

It wasn't really difficult to move between the two homes. Both were within the school district, only about fifteen minutes apart, in fact. She had a full wardrobe waiting for her at both, two beds, two toothbrushes, two of just about everything. All she really carried back and forth was school work and her favorite old teddybear. It was all very easy. And it sucked royally. Because she hated the sixteenth.

"Am I really expected to come pick you up every day?"

Blue eyes slid shut, as if that would take her away from the over-priced sports car and that voice. "The program's Monday through Thursday. If you don't want to pick me up I can find a ride." She would probably find a ride anyway, just so this would be the last time she would have to sit through this.

"It's just such a hassle. Really, what was your father thinking signing you up for this?"

The pretty blond was almost immediately on the defensive. "He said he thought it would be good for me."

The older woman rolled her eyes as she ran a stop sign without heed. "Like you really need to see a shrink."

"The program's not like that." She blew out a huff of air, crossing her arms over her ample chest. "Daddy was just doing what he thought was best for me." Something you've never done.

"He spoils you."

Ino clenched her jaw. "Maybe." At least he cares.

"There's no maybe about it. I've seen how much money he wastes on you."

Ah yes, money. Ino hated money, too. If it weren't for money, she wouldn't have to dread the sixteenth of every month.

The car jolted to a stop at a red light, and her mother's elegant hand reached into a designer purse, red, expertly done nails pulling out a pack of cigarettes. She refused to look over at the woman driving. Akira Yamanaka was a gorgeous woman who looked only half her age with a perfect body. Ino hated looking at her mother. Her blond hair and ice blue eyes that looked so much like Ino's. It was the reason the girl always wore her hair the way she did, so she would look more like her father. Anything to look less like her.

"I saw those new shoes he bought you. Two hundred and eighty dollars. For a child like you."

Ino would gladly give up those and every pair of shoes she'd ever owned if it meant the sixteenth would be like any other day. She honestly hadn't even asked for the shoes, her father had seen her squeal over them and bought them at the drop of a hat. She had to admit he did that a lot.

"You're going to have to find a ride from now on, I really don't have time to be worrying about you constantly."

Of course, maybe he wouldn't do it so often if he saw her for more than half the month. "No problem." Cigarette smoke burned her eyes. She hated cigarettes.

"Have you put on weight again? I swear, every time you come back from him, you're fatter. You already look horrible, how far do you plan on letting yourself go?"

Maybe he wouldn't do it so often if her other parent stopped giving her nothing but criticism. "I'll go on another diet."

"You'd better. It's already embarrassing enough to be seen with you, I refuse to walk around with a fat slob. Now, I have a guest coming over tonight. I expect you to be out of the way by eight."

Maybe he wouldn't do it so often if her other home actually felt like a home. "Okay, Mom."

The woman shot her a disgusted look, perfectly painted face pulled into an ugly expression. "Christ, Ino, how many times have I told you not to call me that?"

Blue eyes slid shut once more. Maybe he wouldn't do it so often if her mother didn't only keep her around for his money. "Sorry, Akira."

Dattebayo!

Itachi frowned at the paler than usual boy sitting in the passenger seat of his car. He was positive the teen still had a fever, but when he'd attempted at a red light to feel his forehead, he'd come very close to not getting his hand back. Okay, so no touching.

"Take some more medicine when we get home."

This, of course, resulted in a scowl and a pissy, "I'll take it if I feel like it."

Wonderful, being sick was making the youngest Uchiha even more cranky than normal. Itachi could already feel the impending headache. Best change the subject. "Did your test go well?"

"None of your business."

Of course, what had he been thinking? How dare he ask about anything even mildly personal in his little brother's life. It's not like he, as the elder sibling and legal guardian of the boy, had any prominent part in it.

Sasuke pouted a bit, shifted around in his seat uncomfortably, and turned his onyx glare onto the older raven. "My... friend invited me over to his house for Thanksgiving dinner or whatever. I'm going."

Itachi very nearly ran a red light. "You're... going over to someone's house... for the holiday."

"Hn."

The older boy did his best not to stare, but it was a futile effort. Sasuke was making a willing effort to socialize with other people? And not at some kind of large group gathering, but a holiday dinner. A personal sort of event. The kind usually spent with family... "You're sure you don't... we could-"

"I said I'm going to Naruto's."

Itachi bit his cheek, not at all surprised by his suggestion being immediately shot down. Sasuke hadn't even wanted to accept a gift from his older brother last Christmas, let alone actually do something like eat Thanksgiving dinner with him, watch football... not that Itachi really cared for the game, but if it meant being able to spend some real time with Sasuke, he would be willing to do just about anything.

Biting back a disappointed sigh, he forced himself to focus on the positive side of things. At least Sasuke was starting to slowly reach out to somebody, even if that person wasn't him. Meaning just maybe there was hope for his wayward little brother yet.

Dattebayo!

Temari wearily made her way up the steps of the apartment complex, letting herself into her home, noting the unlocked door meant one or both of her little brothers was there. Considering it was a Monday, it had better be both of them within the next hour and a half. They knew her rule.

Absently taking her nametag off and tossing it onto the counter as she passed, she tugged at her pink uniform shirt with a frown. God did she hate waitressing, especially at that pathetic excuse for a diner. She really needed to start looking for a new job, one that didn't leave her feeling exhausted every time she got off.

She heard someone rummaging around in the kitchen and yelled harshly, "Kankurou, you fucking fatass, don't you dare even think about stuffing yourself with junk right now!" She wasn't expecting a ponytailed brunette she'd never seen before to emerge, glass of water in hand. Whoops.

"Uh, hi," she sputtered rather ineloquently. "Sorry about that, you're obviously not who I thought you were... I'm Temari."

"Shikamaru Nara," the boy offered, his voice a lazy, disinterested drawl she found immediately attractive. Almost as an afterthought, he added rather unnecessarily, "I'm a friend of your brother's."

Temari had, of course, kind of figured this was the case, but at least she was now sure a random stranger hadn't wandered into her home. "Where is the little bastard anyway?"

"In his room. I just came out to get a drink." He lifted the glass a bit to prove his words, taking a sip in the meantime. "Hope that's all right."

"What? Oh!" She flushed a bit with embarrassment. "Oh yeah, of course. That whole yelling thing... I just get sick of Kankurou loading up on junkfood right before dinner. He's worse than a little kid, I swear."

"Ah." He nodded his understanding. "Gotta admit, I got a little scared there for a second."

Blue eyes rolled. "Yes, I'm sure it was terrifying."

"It was," he said sincerely. "Nothing more scary than an angry, aggressive blond."

She couldn't tell whether or not he was insulting her, he looked and sounded bored but nothing else. "I'm not aggressive," she insisted stubbornly, feeling the need to defend herself just in case.

"Ah." Another nod. "So you're just PMSing then."

She blinked, stunned. Had he really just...? "If you think that was scary, come back in about a week when I really am PMSing," she purred. "I'll show you just how aggressive I can be."

"Reeeally?" he said with a smirk. "I might just take you up on that offer."

Okay, so she was now officially flirting with a high schooler, but hey, she was only human. He was kind of good-looking, though a little small, had the exact laidback, impassive, sarcastic attitude she loved in a guy, seemed like he could hold his own in a fight, and he was much higher up on the evolutionary foodchain than most of the meatheads Kankurou brought home. Besides, it felt like forever since she'd gotten laid.

She made sure her smile was both sexy and predatory. "You do that. I'll be looking forward to it."

"Shikamaru? Are you okay?"

Temari felt a jolt when she heard the call from down the hall, not in Kankurou's loud, annoying voice but rather Gaara's soft, scratchy one. "Gaara?" she whispered to herself.

"I told you he was in his room," Shikamaru said evenly, taking another swig from the glass before raising his voice and calling out, "Fine, Gaara. Be there in a sec."

Temari felt rather like the world was spinning before her eyes. "You're... Gaara's friend." It came out as a statement more than a question, seeing as how the answer was rather obvious.

"Uh-huh."

"Right... so then you're... a freshman?"

"Yep."

She tried to ignore how amused he looked, obviously having figured out by now her dilemma. Definitely smarter than any of Kankurou's friends. How had she made that mistake? Then again, Gaara had never brought anybody but Naruto home before, and even that was rare, the two of them preferring the blond's house instead. Was it really so surprising she had automatically assumed... Shit, now that she looked closer she realized describing the smug-looking teen as 'small' wasn't nearly as accurate as simply saying 'young'. "So you're..."

"Fifteen," he supplied helpfully, taking a quick sip of water to keep the shit-eating grin off his face.

"Right." Fifteen? The kid was fifteen? God, she'd thought he was eighteen, at least seventeen, but fifteen? Fuck, he was jailbait, for crying out loud. She was some kind of creepy fucking pedophile!

Slumping past her in a slow, incredibly lazy gait, he flashed one more laughing glance her way along with, "See you later, Temari," and he definitely said her name with a certain teasing inflection.

Fuck, he was flirting back with her! She had just enticed and encouraged a freaking kid. With a despairing groan, the blond buried her face in her hands, willing the last few minutes to just disappear.

Clearly she was going to hell.

Two quick notes. First, one or two people were apparently a little confused about why Ino had such a low alcohol tolerance, and yes, there is a reason. The general rule of thumb for drinking is the more you weigh, the more you can handle. There are exceptions of course (my cousin's tiny and I've seen her drink guys twice her size under the table with ease), but that's the way it normally goes.

Second, this is a note I'm putting in now regarding the parents of the kids in this fic. While some of the situations may seem a little over the top... well, they're not. My cousin and I both work with children in several different capacities, and I've based all of the situations and parents in this fic on real life situations one or both of us has encountered while working with these kids. The only over the top part about it is that these children are all in the same class, something that in itself was meant to be a unique situation. Remember how Shizune first reacted when she read the children's files. So the parents in this fic that make you want to strangle them (Ino's mother), yeah, based on real people. The only one that's not based on someone I know is the situation with Sasuke, Itachi, and their family, which you will find out about later, and even that I got from hearing a similar story in the news. So again, even if some things seem over-dramatic, I didn't make them up. Sad.

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