"Ma'am?" I said as I held out my hand for Amanda to take.
As usual, she rolled her eyes but accepted my gesture to help her out of the car.
"You and your manners," she grumbled. "You make me look like an impolite shrew!"
"Old habits die hard," I smirked. "You've been reading Shakespeare again, haven't you? Unless 'shrew' is now a staple in your vocabulary."
"I couldn't sleep," she explained sheepishly.
"Me neither."
We strolled into the school for the last time as students. Today was the last day of exams and graduation was the next night.
"It's nice to be through with all this crap for good," Amanda remarked, gesturing towards the building complex.
"Maybe for you," I sneered.
"Be optimistic, Jazzy!"
Ugh, Jazzy. She'd been around Emmett way too much lately; I'd have to start putting a limit on their time together before she picked up any more bizarre habits from him. Or worse…he could tell her stories. About me. There were so many embarrassing ones to choose from.
"One day, they'll peg you with a terrible nickname, too. Just wait!" I tried to keep a straight face but I ended up cracking a smile.
"I'd consider it a comforting gesture of acceptance into your family unit," Amanda informed me with a superior expression.
"You've definitely been reading Shakespeare."
She laughed as I waited while she threw books into her locker. "That was a good one though, I'm proud of that sentence!"
I patted her on the head like a little kid, which promptly earned a playful smack on the arm. A handful of people in the hallway were watching us. They were astounded to see my serious demeanor disappear.
We parted ways at the end of the hall. She went to take her "normal person math class" final, and I to my Calculus. We only had those finals today, so if we survived we could go straight home, which was nice.
I breezed through my test, another perk of not sleeping is being able to master useless skills like Calculus. I leaned against Amanda's locker and waited for her to finish.
My entire body froze and my eyes were locked on a random student who rushed down the hall, his hands holding his bleeding nose. I could see the dark liquid drip down his hand, I could see every drop. I stopped breathing and concentrated on not attacking him. I didn't trust myself with any movement at all, afraid that I'd lash out and not realize it until it was too late. Even after he had darted into the bathroom the smell of the blood still lingered to taunt me.
Alice strolled up to me with her dance-like gait, obviously using her ability to arrive at the perfect time. "I hope you and Amanda are planning on coming straight home."
I shrugged. "Whatever she wants to do."
"Well…you should come home." She grinned mischievously.
"I don't like the sound of that." It freaked me out when she used her ability against my will. Whatever she had up her sleeve was probably wedding related, anyway.
"You say that now!" she chuckled in that all-knowing way of hers.
"Alice," I said in a more serious tone. "I don't want you to pressure her into some huge wedding affair. That's not her style, or mine, and you know it. Please don't make her feel guilty for not wanting a wedding like Rose's last one."
I shuddered at the memory of Emmett and Rosalie's latest wedding. I'd never seen so much frill and lace in all my life. It was terrible.
"Silly boy, I wouldn't do something like that! I just have a few…suggestions."
"You have visual aids, don't you?" I groaned. Whenever she put together a presentation she had serious plans.
Alice beamed. "You know me so well!!! Of course, it would be easier to work with if one of you would come up with a date, or at least a time frame. But for not being able to see, I think it's coming along magnificently!"
And with that she ambled off, feeling very pleased with herself. I didn't have long to revel in my thoughts before Amanda strolled triumphantly out of the classroom that had held her hostage.
"I take it the test went well, then?" I asked, reading into her pleasant mood.
"No," she laughed. "But it's over now. It's kinda funny, really. I have all As and Bs…then a D in math. But as long as they let me graduate and Cornell still wants me it doesn't matter. Are you okay? You look exceptionally more pained than usual."
"Someone has a nosebleed," I explained and gestured toward the restroom.
Amanda, sensing my strong desire not to talk about it, commented on how having to wake up to take an hour long test was a perfect waste of time. I took her bag and led us out to the parking lot, where Emmett, Rose and Alice were waiting by the Hummer. I was glad to be out of the building.
"Are you gonna let me finally drive?!" Amanda called to Emmett from across the lot.
"No chance in hell!" he laughed and leaped up into the massive vehicle as if to protect it.
Alice frolicked over to us.
"We're going home, don't worry," I said before she had to ask or remind me.
"Excellent!" she swung up into the Hummer and the three of them rumbled out of the parking lot.
"What was that about?" Amanda asked as we got in the Mustang.
"I'm not too sure, she wants to show us something at home, I guess."
Amanda swore in Italian again. I snorted in laughter.
"It won't be bad, I told her not to guilt you into anything. And if she does, I can make her feel absolutely terrible about doing it."
Amanda's laughed seemed a bit forced, but she was relieved. "As long as I don't end up in some huge white dress in some massive church. It's too formal. And strange. Of course, I'm strange, but not over the top like that."
I couldn't picture her in a traditional wedding either. Or me either, for that matter.
"We could just elope," I suggested, halfway serious.
A huge grin broke out on her face. "I'll have to think about that. It wouldn't be so bad, everyone could still be there and all."
"Emmett could get a license from the internet and perform the ceremony," I suggested. "That would be about as far from traditional as we could get."
We both dissolved into laughter at the idea of Emmett conducting any sort of formal procedure.
"Time to go face the firing squad," Amanda murmured as we pulled into the drive. She looked up at me suddenly, like she had realized something important. "I don't want you to think I don't want to marry you or anything, but I don't want the actual wedding to be an…ordeal. Ya know?"
I laughed at her. "I understand completely. Alice does too, don't let her or Rose fool you."
"God, it's like a disco ball convention in here," she giggled quietly to herself and me as we, reluctantly, entered the living room.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," Emmett growled from his seat on the couch.
"I'm so afraid," Amanda said sarcastically.
I'm engaged to the only human in existence who isn't afraid of Emmett. Vampires are afraid of Emmett, but not Amanda. I wondered if she was dropped too many times as a child. Certainly she had suffered some kind of trauma. Edward started laughing at me from his seat by Emmett.
"Why're you here anyway, is wedding talk your new hobby?" she continued.
"Nah, Alice wanted me to stick around. You know, to keep things in line. Because that Jasper's such a wild child."
Alice and Rosalie entered, each carrying armfuls of items. I saw fabric samples, color swatches, magazines and all other sorts of horrendous things. Rose put hers down and sat beside me so Amanda and I were sandwiched between her and Emmett.
"In case one of you decides to bolt," Alice explained, as if sensing my curiosity. "I foresaw someone trying to pull that."
She glowered at me and I laughed.
"Can we just get this over with?" Amanda groaned.
"Why, yes, we can!" Alice chirped. She pulled out fabric samples and lectured about how that particular shade of red, since it was Amanda's favorite, would work well as an accent color, and how another kind of flower would complement it. I zoned out after about a few minutes when she started talking about the cake. The visual texture of a wedding cake didn't excite me.
"Do either of you have a clue about the date?" Alice asked again.
Amanda and I shook our heads.
Alice groaned in frustration. "Amanda, Jasper made me swear that I wouldn't make you feel guilty about not wanting a massive wedding and all, but please let me do something tasteful!!! Pleeeeeaaaase!! It can just be for, like, a dozen people or whatever, but just let me do it! The graduation party tomorrow night's put me in the party planning mood!"
She paused to catch her breath. "It would be so much more memorable than eloping…like someone had suggested."
Amanda elbowed me in the ribs.
"And someone else thought it was a good idea." Alice glared at the pair of us.
I nudged Amanda lightly in the ribs, trying my best not to cause any damage.
"Emmett doing the ceremony?" Alice wailed. "How could you even suggest such a thing?!"
Everyone but Alice started to laugh.
"It's not funny!" she nearly shrieked, being a touch overdramatic.
"I'll do it!!" Emmett declared. He was suddenly very enthusiastic.
"Oh, no you won't!" Alice argued, hands on her hips.
"Alright, Alice," Rose began, "I think you've done enough damage. Give them some time to recover." She helped Alice pick up her visual aids and take them back upstairs.
Amanda laid her forehead on my shoulder and rocked her head from side to side.
"She's crazy," Amanda muttered.
"I know," I assured her. "It wasn't that bad, though. I was braced for worse."
"You weren't listening, were you?"
"Not really, no," I smiled.
"You suck." She lifted her head off my shoulder.
"Well I know girl talk when I hear it," Emmett said and darted out of the room.
"Your eyes are dark," Amanda pointed out randomly.
"It's been awhile," I explained. "Nearly three weeks. I was thinking about a quick hunt tonight. If it won't bother you."
"Go for it. I think I can manage to be alone for a few hours. Quit worrying so much, if something were to happen, one of them could be at my house in like 4 seconds."
"How can you tell I'm worried?" I asked. I'd been trying my damnedest to keep it to myself, hoping it would go under everyone's radar.
"You're voice changes. You talk slightly slower, like you're trying to filter your words."
"You noticed that?"
"I'm observant sometimes!" she smiled at me. "It comes in phases. You shouldn't talk, you're the one with vampire ADD!"
"True, I'm pretty bad about that, it's annoyin-hey, is that a pony?!" I smiled broadly, emphasizing the point.
Bella trooped down the stairs and went into the kitchen, but not without scowling in the direction of the wedding magazines Alice had left lying about. It didn't take me to tell Amanda that she was less than thrilled.
"Uh oh," Amanda said lowly.
I hopped to my feet, the heels of my cowboy boots clanged dully against the hardwood floors. I took her hand and led her outside. I didn't want Bella's irritation to bother Amanda. It wasn't Amanda's fault that she and Edward didn't see eye to eye on things…a lot of things.
"You're afraid to be around Bella, aren't you?" she asked quietly, leaning against the porch railing.
I nodded. "Just being cautious, probably overly so. She thinks I don't like her, which isn't true, but I don't trust myself around Bella for too long."
"There's nothing wrong with being careful."
"It hurts her feelings. But her feelings would be hurt worse if I killed her, I guess."
"You could say that. You can't be so afraid of yourself, you haven't hurt a person in what, ten years?"
"Not for lack of trying," I muttered grimly.
"But you still didn't. Relax a little, Jasper. You're not nearly the monster you think you are," she tried to reassure me.
"I'm just afraid of…returning to what I used to be. Especially now, because I'm finally happy. I have a family, but most importantly I have you. And if I have one miniscule slip up then all this is ruined. I could hurt you, just from the carelessness of one second. If Bella were to get hurt and you were in the room it might be too much for me."
Amanda didn't say anything, but just eyed me from her seat on the railing.
"I don't know what to tell you," she said finally.
"I know." I leaned against the rail beside her. She wasn't even slightly afraid being so close to me after what I had just told her. Her eyes met my gaze.
"Go hunt," she sighed, waiving a hand at the woods. "You won't relax until you do."
"I'll make it quick, I'll be back in a few hours," I promised. I handed her the car keys that had been in my pocket. "In case you get ambushed."
She laughed and took them from me. "Beat it, Whitlock."
"Yes ma'am," I said and leaned in and kissed her. Then I leaped over the railing and made a mad dash into the forest.
*Amanda's POV*
I watched Jasper disappear into the woods. I felt bad that he was so worried and afraid of himself, but I didn't know how to help him. I slid the Mustang's keys into my pocket, I figured there was a good chance I'd have to use them later. I hopped off the railing and went back inside to find Bella in the living room.
"I'm sorry," Bella said as I sat down in the chair that was usually occupied by Emmett.
"For what?"
"For making Jasper so uneasy. I know it's because of me that he left just now."
"It's not just you," I explained. "He worries too much about everything, it's his nature, I guess. He's too hard on himself."
"He is," she agreed. "So you're really getting married?"
"Looks like it," I smiled. That was still a new concept for me.
"How's that going to…work? Is he gonna get Carlisle to change you?"
I shook my head. "Nope, nothing like that. Unless there's a plot that I'm not aware of. I don't really want to be a vampire, or at least not anytime soon. Some aspects of it would be awesome, like being with Jasper for, literally, forever, but some wouldn't."
Bella looked flabbergasted. "But what'll happen when you get old and eventually die? Jasper would have eternity to live with the grief."
"I don't know, I haven't thought that far ahead. We've only been engaged like 12 hours!" I laughed, once again reverting to my stupid habit of throwing something funny into a serious conversation.
"You've never even considered becoming a vampire?" Bella was staring at me like I had grown a second head that had started yodeling.
"Not really. I don't think I'm mature enough to make that kind of decision."
Oops. I hoped that didn't hurt her feelings. Maybe it didn't, but if it did she can suck it up, she's a big girl. But she just nodded and looked down thoughtfully.
Edward appeared at the base of the stairs and was instantly beside Bella.
"Ready to go?" he asked.
She nodded and headed to the door, after saying bye to me.
"Thank you," Edward said quietly as he walked by me. I didn't know what that was about, I'd have to ask Jasper later.
I went in the kitchen and made a sandwich. Someone had to eat all this food they kept around. After devouring my lunch, I headed upstairs to Jasper's room. I didn't know why I was there, but it was a comforting place to be.
I sat on the bed and looked around. I'd been in there a thousand times, but I never got over the sense of calm I got from being there. I don't think Jasper realized how much I loved him and needed him. I glanced around the slightly disheveled room and wondered what it was like to be Jasper…if this room was comforting to him or a prison.
A slight knock on the door snapped me out of my mental daze.
"Can I come in?" Rosalie asked softly, cracking the door slightly.
"Sure."
She soundlessly drifted in and sat beside me. "Thank you," she said simply.
"For what?" I asked. Maybe she'd explain why everyone was thanking me.
"You were so blunt with Bella, she needed to hear that. Maybe someone her own age will be more effective than I was when I talked to her."
I nodded, understanding what Edward had meant. We lapsed into silence for a moment.
"You've been so good for Jasper," Rose said softly, almost wistfully.
"Everyone says that, but I don't understand it. How could I have possibly helped him? Sometimes I feel I'm making him harder on himself."
"You've brought him out of the shell he'd buried himself in for all of the sixty years I've known him," she said with a smile. "I saw the two of you fooling around before school this morning and he was like a different person. It's amazing."
I shrugged. I didn't think I'd made that much of a difference. I'm just boring me, I don't have the power to move mountains or morph brooding vampires into snuggly teddy bears.
"You're so modest," Alice chirped. I jumped as she appeared out of nowhere and daintily sat on the bed, too.
"Yay, a pow-wow!" Emmett yelled and plowed into the room and dove onto the bed.
I smacked him playfully on the shoulder.
"Gah, you're so violent!!" he declared dramatically.
"That's for not letting me drive the Hummer! It was my suggestion, I should get a crack at it!" I whined.
"But you'll break it!!" he argued. I stuck my tongue out at him. I'm so mature.
"You need to get going," Alice said, turning to me. "We have to start setting up for the party tomorrow!!"
I agreed to go quietly, Alice walked me downstairs. She gave me a hug before I got into the car, then hurried back inside.
I sighed as I drove home. The Mustang was an awesome car, but it wasn't the same without Jasper. Possibly because I couldn't drive like a lunatic and survive. I hoped he hurried back, I got bored easily without him around.
I slowed down for a red light, the only one in town, and nearly had a heart attack as the passenger door flung open and the object of my affection appeared beside me.
"Speak of the devil," I laughed.
"Miss me?" he asked as he slouched in the seat.
"You know it." I glanced over at him before the light changed again. "You smell…woodsy."
He rolled his eyes and laughed at me as I turned onto my street.