Title: Be Mine
Summary: Cloud thought he was sharing a drink with Reno during a lonely Valentine's Day. Little did he know, he had begun a game of cat and mouse that slowly wound up to him missing pairs of his underwear...and dating Reno.
Warnings: Smut, swearing, alcohol, smoking, ...Reno.
Disclaimer: I own little.
Rolling onto his side, Cloud yawned as he stretched his legs out before pulling them closer to his body. The mako in his blood was helping to ease the burning sensation in his thighs as he relaxed. He would take a nap before calling Cid, the blonde decided as he closed his eyes. The pilot could help him either track the thief or rebuild Fenrir. Well, build a new motorcycle. What if Fenrir was gone for good? New thoughts. Think new thoughts. Sighing, the blonde tried to clear his mind before he slipped into unconsciousness.
Jerking when he heard a door slam, Cloud's eyes snapped open before he looked around the room and sat up, eyes widening at the giant box at the foot of his bed. The colored paper was neatly wrapped around the box, leaving sharp creases and a neatly wrapped box. The giant bow on the top sparkled with glitter as he stared at it.
"...I need to stop sleeping," he muttered to himself before slowly climbing out of his bed and walking over to the foot of the bed, looking around the package for any sign that it was meant for someone else, the blonde frowned. Pink, sparkly wrapping really was not the kind of thing he would wrap gifts in. Carefully unwrapping the box and setting it down next to the folded paper, he frowned at the amount of tape that surrounded the box. Maybe it wasn't for him? Maybe it was a bomb? Who wraps a bomb?
...Someone who doesn't want you to think it was a bomb, he reasoned before slowly walking out of the room, keeping his eyes on the package. Once out of the room, he turned around and jumped slightly at the sight of Tifa.
"Oh, you're finally awake," she said cheerfully.
"...Did you see anyone come upstairs today?" he asked, frowning softly at the way she shook her head.
"No one, why?"
...It had to be from Reno.
"No reason."
"Are you feeling all right, Cloud?"
"Fine," the blonde said before blinking when he was pulling into a tight embrace with the brunette bartender.
"You worry me sometimes, Cloud. All of us, really," she said as she pressed her body against the swordsman.
"...Sorry," he replied while gently patting her back. "...I...didn't mean to?" He felt awkward having to say it, but nothing else came to mind. Pulling back, his childhood friend - well, she was not exactly a friend during his childhood, he reasoned - smiled softly before kissing his cheek.
"Are you going to join us for dinner?"
Nodding, the blonde blinked as she smiled happily before walking away. What was that about? Shrugging slightly to himself before walking back into the room, the blonde frowned at the sight of the box. Why would Reno send him a bomb? Well, it might not be a bomb. ...There was only one way to make sure...
Silently walking over to the package, Cloud slowly began to pick at the corner of a strip of tape, slowly peeling it off before working on a new strip until he could open the top of the cardboard box. Blue eyes widened at the sight of the sparkly fabric as he slowly lifted the garment from the box.
He was going to kill Reno for this. Reno would die. He would kill the Turk for doing something this embarrassing.
Glaring darkly at the purple fabric, his left eye twitching slightly, Cloud crammed the dress back into the box, fingers brushing against the tiara as he pulled his hands out and closed the box. Walking over to his closet and pulling out a chest of materia, he looked through the bright glowing orbs of magic as his face burned bright red.
Pulling out a green orb, Cloud nodded to himself before locking the chest and rising to his feet, closing the door before picking up the box. He was going to look crazy for this, but it had to be done. He should have done it the first time. Well, that is not true, he should have not even done it the first time. Now, that is not right, he had to save Tifa...
Grumbling to himself, the blonde carried the box and materia down the stairs, ignoring Tifa's confused look. "I'll be right back," he replied softly as he took the box out to the back of the bar. Setting it down on the ground, he set the "gift" and all of its contents on fire. Watching as the blaze burned, he slipped the orb into the pocket of his robe before wrapping his arms around his chest. Leaning back against the wall, he listened for when the bottle of "sexy cologne" exploded. Oh, how he hated the smell of that cologne. Not more than the actual dress itself, though. Just more than the...well, he hated all of it: the underwear, heels, tiara; it all sucked. Once the fire died out, leaving only burning embers and ash in its wake, Cloud turned around before walking back inside.
"Is everything all right?" Tifa asked as she watched the blonde return to the bar. "...What happened to the box?"
"...It died," Cloud muttered as he shrugged. "...It had to die."
"...The box had to die? Are you sure you're feeling all right, Cloud?"
"Fine," he replied before sitting at the bar. "...It's been a long day."
"Oh, did you see what Denzel brought home?" she said before rummaging around behind the bar before handing over a slip of paper.
"...A detention notice?"
"The third one this week!"
"...It's Tuesday..."
"Exactly!"
"...It says he hit another kid for calling him names. Good for him."
"Cloud!"
"...Bad for him?"
"Cloud, he's not supposed to be hitting people!"
"...We hit people..."
"We do not!"
Raising his eyebrows, the blonde looked at Tifa incredulously, "You got into a bitch-slap fight with Scarlet..."
"She started it! And that was a long time- That's not the point! Would you want Marlene to fight people?"
"...If she was standing up for herself or others, yeah."
"I told you he would be fine with it!" a voice called out from upstairs.
"Get back in your room, Denzel!" Tifa called back. "Cloud, we can't be fighters when raising a family."
"...We're raising a family?"
"Of course we are!"
"Who's raising a family?" a voice drawled out. Looking over, Cloud glared at the lanky redhead who sat down next to him.
"Cloud and I are! And we're closed!" Tifa snapped as she crossed her arms across her chest, pushing her large bosom up higher.
Whistling, the Turk grinned before winking at Cloud. "So, when did you knock up Big Tits?"
"Reno-"
"Get out!" Tifa snapped before hitting him over the head.
"...I thought we didn't hit people?" Cloud asked, slightly amused as he watched Tifa grab Reno by his collar before tossing his flailing body out of the Seventh Heaven before locking the door.
"Not cool, yo!" Reno called out as Cloud watched the upset bartender walked back over to him.
"You need to have a talk with Denzel!" she said before poking him in the chest.
"...A talk or the talk?"
"A talk!"
"...Okay."
Sitting there, Cloud blinked as Tifa continued to stare expectantly at him. This was starting to get really awkward really fast.
"Well?"
"...Well, what?"
"Aren't you going?"
"...Now?"
"Yes!"
"...Okay," Cloud said with a shrug before he got up and walked over to the stairs. Something was really wrong with Tifa, he decided as he gently knocked on the door. Pausing at the lack of a response, he decided to speak. "...Can I come in?"
"Cloud?" Denzel called back.
"Yeah."
"Hold on!" The blonde listened as he heard the bed-springs squeak, things moving around before the lock clicked. As the door swung open, he came face-to-face with the young boy who was going to be reaching puberty in a matter of years. God, how time flew by. "Are you going to yell at me? I promise I won't hit him again!"
"Nah," Cloud said as he followed Denzel into the boy's bedroom, sitting down on the bed beside the child. "Tifa sent me."
"Oh."
"Yeah..." Unsure of what to do, the blonde reached over before gently ruffling Cloud's hair. "Don't tell Tifa...but, I'm proud of you."
"Really?" Denzel asked as he looked over at his hero, smiling widely.
"Yeah," the hero of the planet said as he smiled slightly. "I was the type of kid who just took it."
"Kinky, yo!" a voice called out from the window, making the blonde groan.
"Go away, Reno."
"Come on, yo. Didn't you like my gift?"
"Gift?" Denzel asked as he blinked.
"Ignore him." Cloud muttered as his face turned light pink.
Review if you want more. I really wasn't going to update this, but now I feel like I must.
Thank you for reviewing:
Mako Readrush: Ha! You are welcome!
Aeriths-Rain: Thanks. Life is just not on his side, no?
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reloudypie: Thanks! Wait no more.
bbeyond: But, dude, you have to understand that while I do consider constructive criticism, telling me to do something that I am already doing and saying that I beg for reviews could potentially destroy an unstable person. I often get constructive criticism but never in such a manner to make me want to just give up on a story or the site for a few more years.
Silver Tears 11: Aww, thanks! I try...kind of.
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