Disclaimer: The Great Captain Usopp knows all and sees all, so he'll know if someone steals One Piece.
Usopp in…
Lying is Bad
It was big, red, and shiny and… it wouldn't budge.
And Usopp severely doubted he could get the glittering red ruby out no matter how hard he pushed, pulled and was contemplating putting a chisel to. Nami would have a fit if she heard that thought. Honestly, the only reason the sharpshooter was still trying was because Chopper was watching with wide, admiring eyes, and he wasn't eager to lose that admiration.
"Ne, Usopp?" Chopper spoke up.
He didn't glance down at his fuzzy crewmate and brought out his hammer to help pry the gem from the ancient stone. "Not now, Chopper. I'll get out soon. I'm almost done…"
He started pounding away, but Chopper wasn't satisfied.
"Usopp?" the reindeer pulled at tool belt. "What's that?"
"Huh? What?"
He looked up from his work and followed where his friend's hoof pointed. There were some gouges in the rock on his left. If he squinted, he could make out lines of crude characters that were indecipherable. Weathered by time and not in any language he could understand. Usopp frowned and peered a little closer. His hand raised to work on the ruby nearby paused in its descent.
Chopper glanced at him curiously. "Usopp? What is it? Can you read it?"
Usopp held up his hand. "Wait… hmm, yeah… I think I can…."
"Really?" Chopper exclaimed and morphed to Heavy Point to see the engravings better.
His nakama nodded, focused on reading. Much to his surprise the writing had abruptly changed, rearranging so he could decipher what it said without much difficulty.
Usopp's long nose brushed against the script as he read to himself: What you do not see as truth will show itself in good time as the most precious stone of all.
Minutes passed as the sharpshooter pondered the words. Until, Chopper grew impatient.
"What's it say? What's it say?"
Turning away from the writing, Usopp told his overly excited crewmate what he'd read. He watched as the doctor's smile faded to a befuddled expression.
"Eh? What's that even mean?"
The sharpshooter shrugged and pushed the sleeves of his shirt back. "Come help me, Chopper. We're going to get this stone out whether it wants to or not!"
Chopper reared up in Heavy Point. "Yosh!"
Together, they each took a side of the ruby and wrapped their fingers around its edges. When their grip was secure, Usopp gave the thumbs up and braced his feet. The reindeer did the same.
"Okay… one… two… pull!"
Heaving with all their might, they yanked at the embedded gem. Their muscles strained and the gritted their teeth.
Finally, the force of the pull hit them and they were thrown backwards. Usopp fell and hit his head on a rock, while Chopper snapped back into his smallest form and landed on his back and had the breath knocked out of him.
They were still lying on the ground. Defeated by the treasure and empty-handed, when they heard the sound of boots.
Followed by a familiar growl.
"What the hell happened here?"
Surprised, Usopp sat up at the same time as Chopper. "Zoro?"
"Ow!" they knocked their heads together in their haste to rise.
The green-haired swordsman looked down at them with an expression of disbelief. He made no move to help them to their feet and waited until they stood, nursing their bruises.
"Zoro!" Chopper launched himself at his other crewmate and attached to his leg. He smiled in delight at his arrival, but Usopp was confused.
"Oi, Chopper! Get off!" Zoro shook his leg to be rid of the little reindeer, but he stuck fast like glue.
While the swordsman fought his losing battle, Usopp realized what was wrong here. "Hey, Zoro. How did you come here without getting lost?"
Zoro froze in the act of attempting to pry Chopper off. His eyes narrowed.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Back stepping quickly, the sniper coughed. "Eh, just… how did you find us?"
"Um…" The tips of Zoro's ears went a tad pink, but he was spared the effort of answering.
There was a rustle in the bushes and Robin's tall figure glided over to the boys. "I believe what Swordsman-san is trying to say is he had some help."
"Ah," Usopp nodded and Chopper watched his nakama interact curiously.
However, Zoro didn't appreciate her intercession. "What? I did not!"
Usopp lifted a skeptical eyebrow and Robin giggled.
"I found him in a tree."
At Robin's amused comment, Usopp burst into laughter. Yet his joy was swiftly silenced by a smirk.
"I'd hardly call your position when I saw you ideal. What was so interesting that you had to have your face to the ground?"
Now it was Usopp's turn to blush and there was a momentary lull in the conversation
Until, Chopper finally slid from the swordsman's leg. "Oh! We were trying to get out that giant jewel?"
He ran over to the ruby, gleaming mockingly at its crushed opponents. Usopp could swear it was making fun of their attempt, despite the heart put into it.
"See?"
Robin and Zoro approached Chopper and the gem, with Usopp trudging along behind. He'd had about enough adventure for today.
The new additions to their group examined the gem. Or more accurately, Robin viewed it with a practiced and appreciated eye, while Zoro granted it a once over as he would any obstacle.
As the archaeologist moved to see the writing on the left, he put a hand on his sword and glanced at Usopp and Chopper, who looked up expectantly.
"You couldn't get it loose? At all?" he asked, knocking the stone with his fist experimentally.
Chopper shook his head, but Usopp begged to differ.
"Well… it's stuck in there pretty good. And… it's probably cursed. Look what it did to my hands!" Usopp showed the swordsman his hands, which were cut up and bleeding.
Unfortunately, this caused the doctor to check his own hooves and discover they were in a similar condition. Also, Usopp's remark wasn't helping.
"A curse? Ahh! You're right!" Chopper screamed and began to hyperventilate.
Zoro groaned, growing a smidge more sympathetic than he had with his long nosed companion. "Calm down and take deep breathes."
He walked closer to the ruby. "While you bandage Usopp's and your wounds, I'll take it out for you."
They scattered to make way for the swordsman, ducking behind a big boulder. Chopper brought out bandages and antiseptic while the sharpshooter's imagination went wild. He wondered how much of the ruby was actually stuck in the rocky ruins. Maybe there was a secret passageway behind it!
Usopp voiced his predictions and they both grew even more excited. They waited under safety, peering above the hiding place to watch Zoro go to work.
With slow, deliberate motion, much like a stalking tiger that knows it has all the time in the world and hunts its prey at its leisure, the man brought his arms around the gem. Usopp and Chopper let go a sigh of relief. If he hadn't forfeited using his katanas, it probably would've spelled doom. And not merely for the precious stone itself, but for all the effort they'd expended until now. Because as they knew, heart counted as much as strength, possibly more so.
As soon as Zoro had literally embraced the ruby and hooked his fingers around the edges where it met the stone, much like his crewmates had done before, he pulled. The muscles in his arms rippled and he grunted as the gem gradually started to move.
Then, sure enough, with a final crackle of hundred-year-old rock and mortar, the huge ruby came free. Zoro adjusted his stance to compensate for the weight of the jewel in his arms. From Usopp and Chopper's view he seemed to stagger, but it must've been their anxiety getting to them.
He set the ruby down several feet away with a final thud. Needless to say, he'd been more successful than his younger companions.
Chopper rushed out from behind the boulder and veered directly towards Zoro.
"Are you okay?" he asked anxiously and walked around the swordsman with his doctor's face. "That gem was really heavy!"
Zoro waved his hand, having been bothered enough for one day. "Nah, I'm fine."
Patting his dirty hands on his pants, not that it helped because he was almost entirely covered in a fine white dust, he wandered to where his katanas lay and slipped them back into his haramaki. His gaze went to where Usopp was busy with the ruby.
He'd already circled its entirety twice, measuring in his mind its width and length, and was going around for a third time when Chopper joined him. The doctor placed a hoof on the jewel and turned to him with wide eyes.
"Wow! It's so smooth!"
Usopp grinned. "Yosh! Thousands of sea slugs used their slime to make it like that."
"Really?"
"Uh huh, now all we need is to construct a wheelbarrow to take it to the Sunny." The sharpshooter started to look for some materials.
However, Chopper followed him. "Ne, Usopp? Aren't you going to carry it yourself?"
Automatically, he stopped searching, already knowing his heart wouldn't allow him to disappoint his youthful nakama.
"Of course!" Usopp puffed out his chest and marched over to the ruby. Rubbing his hands and spitting on them, he stilled his nervous shaking, feeling not only Chopper's eyes on him, but Zoro's bored ones as well, Usopp bent down to lift the crimson stone and…. failed to lift it one inch off the ground.
To give him credit, Usopp continued to try valiantly for several moments. That is, until Zoro uncrossed his arms and came to his aid. He separated the ruby from the ground and Usopp's weakening arms easily. His crewmate collapsed and gave him a shaky smile of gratitude.
"Ah! But sometimes the Great Captain Usopp needs a break so he can use his powers for the next adventure!" he exclaimed and jumped in front of Zoro to lead as he began to walk away.
Then Chopper reminded them they were down one member. He glanced back to see their archaeologist right where they left her, standing in front of the characters next to the gaping hole where the ruby had sat. Her hand rested on the worn writing lightly.
She didn't turn around and only spoke when Chopper called, "Robin?"
"Odd…"she murmured almost to herself and seemed to realize she was not alone.
"What is it?" Zoro yawned. "We need to head back."
Robin looked at the engravings again. "This writing… it's very strange. It's in a language I recognize, but different. Every time I think I understand what's written I lose grasp again. Almost like it doesn't want me to read it…"
Zoro's attention was lost there, but Chopper's wasn't and neither was Usopp's.
Chopper opened his mouth. "Well, Usopp can-"
"Wait!"
Before the reindeer could say anything else, Usopp covered his mouth with his hand. He didn't know why he didn't want Robin to know he could read the writing, he just had this feeling. He released poor Chopper with a mumbled sorry.
Yet, Robin's perceptive eyes hadn't missed any of the scene. Her expression demanded an explanation, if only to satisfy her curiosity.
"Uh, it's nothing," Usopp responded quickly to her unasked question. He put a hand behind his neck anxiously.
"You can read it."
It wasn't a question and this time the sharpshooter felt obliged to answer. "Uh, yeah."
Robin moved aside to let him see the characters. "Then please do again."
Usopp looked at the writing, expecting to see them rearrange and show a message like earlier. However, they stayed in incomprehensible.
"Huh," Usopp spoke, taken aback. "I could before, but now it looks like a bunch of scribbles."
There was a moment of silence where Robin stared at Usopp, making him extremely uncomfortable. The woman was more than a little scary. Then she sighed.
"How strange…" she repeated.
"Are we ready to go now?" Zoro asked impatiently. When no one said otherwise, he picked up the ruby he'd dropped when they fetched Robin.
They started to move forward, leaving the ruins behind and Usopp caught the thoughtful glance Robin gave the stone with the writing as it faded back into the jungle. A shiver ran down his spine for some indescribable reason and he hurried forward.
"Ah, wait Zoro! I'm not letting you lead the way!"
He hefted the gem in the one hand he was carrying it with. "Eh? It's kind of warm."
Walking alongside him, Chopper touched the precious stone again.
"S-scary!"
Usopp laughed and launched into one of his tales. The events in the old ruins and any meaning swiftly vanishing in the wind.
0~0~0
Back on the ship, the rest of the crew was ogling the oversized jewel and planning what to do with it. Though the later was mainly Nami.
She and the members of the crew that hadn't witnessed its freeing were amazed to say the least. This island had yielded no goods… up to now.
Nami's face was of one who had walked into heaven, pure, undiluted bliss and her nakama all knew if they ruined it they would be headed there themselves. She caressed the stone, humming happily.
"I've never seen such a big and beautiful ruby before!" the navigator exclaimed.
Sanji waltzed over on cue. "Your reflection in its surface is equally astounding my lovely angel!" He was unfazed when Nami completely ignored him.
"It's definitely not normal," Robin added.
The shipwright and skeleton had been left to guard the Sunny so were glad for any excitement. Brooke's jaw cracked open in a grin. "Quite a find!"
Luffy was too busy clapping his feet and chanting "Bronze statue! Bronze statue!" to comment and Chopper joined in.
At his words, Nami shot a glare at the boy over the glittering ruby.
"Baka! Why would we exchange a ruby for something made of bronze?"
Usopp and Zoro exchanged looks and replied, "Luffy logic."
Meanwhile, their captain tilted his head to indicate his mind was slowly processing her words.
"Aw! But Nami! We need a bronze statue!"
She sighed, in too good a mood to tell Luffy off. So, Sanji did it for her.
He grabbed Luffy's cheek and pinched it hard. "We do not!"
"Ow! Ow! That hurts Sanji!"
Franky approached the gem with a much more skeptical eye than the rest. "What are we going to do with it?" He glanced at its edges, almost perfectly symmetrical. "I suppose I could make something from this…"
At this point, Nami had finally moved away from the ruby, though she still stood near it protectively. "We need the money and after we get this made into smaller rubies it'll last a long time if someone doesn't spend it all on meat!"
Looking away conspicuously, Luffy began to whistle.
Nami appeared a little torn. "But I'd like to keep it a little longer…"
With another yawn, Zoro leaned against the ship's railing.
"It's just a rock."
He might as well have poked a venomous scorpion. Usopp and Chopper grabbed each other for comfort and tried to stop their knees from shaking.
However, the navigator merely smiled. And it wasn't even her sugary sweet one that meant she was about to shove your foot down your gullet. "Either way, I have you to thank for dragging it here. I'll lower your debt by ten percent."
Zoro brightened and sat back with a smirk. Sanji shot him a glare.
"But who got it out? Robin, you told me it was stuck in some ruins, right?"
The raven-haired woman smiled. "Yes. Very securely."
Brave Usopp stepped forward. "It was Captain Usopp with his astounding strength of body and mind. No easy task, but the ruby wasn't a match for me in the end!"
He grinned proudly. Chopper seemed to forget that he hadn't done such a thing and shouted in awe while Luffy's eyes went wide.
"Sugei!"
The sharpshooter bowed and started to explain more in detail to his more gullible crewmates. The others didn't remark and let his statement blow by … mostly.
When someone banged him on the top of his head, Usopp fell forward on his nose. He squinted into the late afternoon sun to see a displeased Zoro.
He'd punched him to the ground without a thought and reminded him, "I don't think so, Captain Usopp. I can say just how tightly that red stone was wedged in there."
Usopp waved his hands in surrender, "Ah, oh yeah." Quickly, he jumped to his feet. "Let me tell you how my animal friends helped get the ruby out…" he continued, unperturbed.
Zoro rolled his eyes as the sharpshooter and chromic liar entranced Luffy and Chopper.
Nami giggled with Robin. "Hee, let them be. Thanks, Zoro."
"What a perfect time for a song!" Brooke brought out his violin. The cook brought out platters of exotic food and they sang into the night with Usopp's heroic stories woven between the notes.
0~0~0
Like several other Straw Hats, Usopp was an early riser and woke up the next morning feeling refreshed despite the late evening before. However, it wasn't duties that caused him to get up at dawn. It was a habit he had developed when he was the sole handy man aboard the Going Merry.
When the others were asleep, he would patrol the length of the ship, searching for any damage and making the necessary repairs, no matter how small. After this was done, Usopp would just stand with his hands on the railing, in touch with the Merry and happy to listen to the roll of the waves until he heard the sounds of waking nakama.
He woke to do this despite the changes and it always made him feel (somewhat) ready for a new day.
Though Usopp wasn't prepared to walk out of the men's quarters to see a skull grinning at him from the dark.
His scream was short, but loud.
"Ahhh!"
"Ahhh!" the skull yelled right back.
The sharpshooter tried to slow his beating heart. "Brooke?"
"Usopp-san?" the gentlemanly skeleton queried. "Ah, you scared me!"
"Look at who's the scary one!"
Once they were both calm, they headed up to the deck.
"Is it already time for the wake-up song?" Usopp rubbed his eyes and blinked. Some days it took longer to become fully awake than others.
Brooke shook his head. "I was merely wiping down my violin when I heard someone else was up."
Usopp nodded. "Oi, look at that sunrise."
"Oh yes, I see how amazing this one is… even though I have no eyes to see with! Yohoho! Skull joke!"
His companion chuckled along with him. "That's a gr- horrible joke, Brooke! It's not even funny!" Usopp's tongue seemed to have a mind of his own and he took a step back in surprise.
"Ah! I didn't mean tha- actually I did!" Usopp attempted to apologize when it happened again.
Starting to freak out, he made an escape and a hurried farewell. The skeleton hadn't reacted to Usopp's outburst, and had only brought out his instrument. His hum drifted eerily out to sea.
Not long after his unintentional slip-up Usopp could be found making more pachinko. The best time to do so was when Luffy couldn't get to them and he used that short time to his advantage.
Though his hands were occupied with this project, his mind was whirling over something else.
I don't know why that happened. Why would I tell Brooke his jokes are bad? They're funny, I always laugh at them… Usopp struggled over this oddity and his own reasoning. He wiped his brow and straightened his back. It's probably nothing, I just feel a bit off is all.
He toiled away for a good half hour until a booming voice nearly made him spill acid on his finger.
"USOPP-BRO! I WANT TO TEST A NEW INVENTION AND I NEED YOUR HELP!"
The sharpshooter sweat dropped. Franky didn't know the meaning of quiet, even when his crewmates were sleeping away the celebration from last night. Not so secretly, Usopp wasn't eager to join in one of the cyborg's more dangerous creations. And, though all of them were risky, he didn't want to be yelled at by Nami yet again.
His mind decided, he opened his mouth to holler back an excuse, when instead.
"I think I heard someone getting carried away- I have nothing better to do!" Usopp smacked himself. Now he had no choice but to venture into the workshop where Franky was. Maybe he would get away in one piece this time…. He could always be hopeful.
It so turned out that the blue-haired shipwright had devised a training device that was modified to fit each of their fighting styles.
In Franky's own words, "Now everyone will get a chance to become even more SUPAH!"
Usopp discovered his enthusiasm was catching like usual and dived into offering some suggestions and helping to fix a few minor flaws. The machine was tough looking and it would have to be to stand Luffy's superhuman punches, Zoro's monstrous sword techniques and Sanji's bone-crushing kicks… and that was without adding the rest of the Straw Hats strengths.
When the handymen deemed the mechanisms satisfactory and everything was in place, Franky asked Usopp to help drag it on deck where they could do a test.
For a while the situation went on smoothly, but their experiments were unfortunately apt to fail nine out of ten times. This wasn't one of the triumphant ones.
Usopp scarcely ran from harm's way, ducking behind the closest protection, which coincidentally happened to be the girls' laundry hung out to dry. It wasn't much, but it would do, especially when Franky raced away from the blazing fireball. His shirt caught on fire and he tripped, landing on his face inches away from Usopp's quivering nose and a fiery end.
Frantically, he patted out the flames on his clothes. This left a good section of the deck charred and smoking, the training device squatting, thoroughly destroyed in the dead center.
Franky lifted his sunglasses and Usopp gulped, waiting for the bigger explosion that was sure to come.
Come it did, as the rest of the crew had been rudely awakened by the destruction of their invention. Faced with a seriously pissed off Nami, Usopp knew their sole piece of luck was she and Robin's clothes hadn't been burned, just singed a little.
For an entire hour, the navigator chased the shipwright and sharpshooter around the Thousand Sunny, shrieking like a banshee and threatening to dislocate their arms. Sanji was wise enough to remain in the kitchen, preparing breakfast, until his lady calmed down. He was nothing but sympathetic, yet he had been on the receiving end of that punch too many times to count.
After the spectacle was over and the Straw Hats had gotten an entertaining show that more or less made up for being shocked out of their hammocks, Usopp crawled to a corner to nurse his injuries.
Chopper scurries over to him after treating the significantly more battered Franky. Nami's judgment was that he could take more and it was his idea. He got sentenced to cleaning up the mess, though Usopp was expected to help as well.
In his customary impatience with waiting for food, Luffy thought of a way to make it come fast. He called over Usopp and Chopper as the doctor finished applying a bandage to his head.
"Chopper! Usopp! Let's go fishing!"
The sharpshooter stood up and walked to his captain. Chopper started packing up his supplies. "I'll be back, Luffy. I just need to put these in the infirmary."
With the reindeer gone Usopp and Luffy brought out their fishing poles, handmade by the sharpshooter. Luffy had tried to craft one, but failed miserably when he carved his too thin and then stepped on it. The bait also mysteriously disappeared. From then on, Usopp was put in charge of fishing, with Luffy there to do the simple things.
They sat down, captain on the lion head of the Sunny and Usopp on the railing. A mere five minutes passed when the inevitable occurred.
"Ne, Usopp. I'm boredddd. Where's Chopper?"
Checking his bare hook, his crewmate turned. "I don't know, maybe there was something he had to do. How about we switch spots, Luffy? You might have better luck."
Luffy replied without pause, "No."
"Why not? You always get to sit there!"
At Usopp's protest, Luffy only shook his head. "It's my special seat." He wound his rubber arms around the Sunny's head.
Habitually, the long-nosed man moved to a tactic that usually worked on Luffy. "Well, if you don't let us take a turn sometimes, you'll get in trouble for being selfish… by my 8, 8…." Usopp struggled to complete his lie. His captain watched with a confused, but interested expression until he finally took a deep breath and tried to yell it out.
"Eight followers!"
There was one heartbeat where Usopp stood, red in the face, and Luffy's frown slowly twisted into a grin. Then a great, big guffaw erupted from his mouth.
"Ahahahaha! You're funny, Usopp! That's only…" Luffy counted on his fingers. "That's barely any! Ahaha!"
Usopp was spared listening to Luffy laugh at him for his funny joke, by the call of the Straw Hats.
"BREAKFAST TIME FOR THE LADIES~! AND YOU LAZY LOUTS TOO!"
During breakfast, Usopp was wary and noticeably quieter than usual. Of course, when it came to manners like this the guys weren't too observant. This was made up for when Nami saw Robin keeping an extra eye on the liar and put two and two together. There was something off for sure, yet she was enjoying the lower noise level.
This didn't sit well with the little reindeer, though, as he could feel the deafening absence of Usopp's tales.
"Usopp? Are you feeling okay?" Chopper asked, curious and innocent as ever.
The question startled him and he nearly dropped his fork. "Huh? Yeah, definitely!"
"Really? That's great!" the doctor smiled. "Then could you tell me a story?"
"Well, um…" Usopp had been careful since fishing with Luffy. He didn't know what was wrong exactly, but he did know that he said weird things whenever he talked to his nakama. Yet, even the strongest will, which Usopp did not have, could quail before Chopper's wide, expectant eyes. "Okay," he consented.
His voice wasn't as loud as normal, but the sharpshooter still ventured into familiar territory while a variety of conversations and arguments burst into life sporadically around the table in a typical Straw Hat meal.
"I shall tell you time when I was just six years old and some evil pirates came to my village." Chopper listened attentively, eager for more and Usopp obliged. "There were rumors flying around that they ate flesh and drank blood, but I didn't believe them. I gathered my followers and we went to shore to face them, but instead there were monsters! However, I bravely faced them and bested the giant sea, sea…. sea anemones!" Usopp concluded lamely.
He blanched. How did he come out with that? He, the greatest storyteller alive?
Chopper's face had dropped. The others around the table, minus Luffy, who immediately took the chance to inhale his nakama's food, had caught the slip-up as well.
"Sea anemones?" Zoro glanced away from his drink. He cocked an eyebrow at Usopp as if he'd gone completely crazy.
"Ah, no…" he attempted to correct his words frantically and with growing panic. "I mean, yes! I mean… argh!"
He slammed his head on the table, causing the dishes to clatter and his crewmate's to jump.
"Usopp! What's wrong?" Chopper squeaked in fright.
Nami and Robin exchanged glances. All this morning, since they left the last island, Usopp had been acting strange. But, now, they had a theory about what was going on.
Sanji kicked Luffy away from the girls' plates while simultaneously addressing the sharpshooter, "Eh? Is it something in the food, Usopp?"
"I knew you'd try something sooner or later, ero-cook."
"Luffy got your food, shitty swordsman."
"Damn you, Luffy!"
The navigator sighed. Franky tried to repeat the question on all their minds.
"What is it, Usopp-bro?"
His shoulders shook slightly while Chopper fretted. "I… I…" He didn't lift his head.
"Maybe he needs some music to cheer him up?" Brooke interceded.
That started a wave of suggestions that swept them up and almost caused them to lose sight of the problem.
Finally, Nami stood and slammed her hands on the wood. "Enough! Let Usopp speak!"
Usopp was trembling rather violently now and their heads turned in concern.
Abruptly, he raised his face and shouted. "I CAN'T LIE!"
The unexpected cry echoed throughout the room as his crewmates tried to absorb this revelation. Usopp himself was surprised. He didn't realize how he had come to this conclusion, but he guessed it had to so with his new inability to weave dramatic stories and come up with excuses.
Their archaeologist got to the epicenter of the problem right away. Robin appraised Usopp with a pensive gaze. "Nagahana-kun. When did this start?"
"This morning…" Usopp answered, a bit confused how this would help.
Luffy swallowed his last bite of food. "What's happening?"
Zoro and Sanji knocked him to the ground. "IF YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION THEN SHUT UP!"
Suddenly, Nami brightened. "That's after we brought the ruby aboard."
Robin smiled. "Very true, Nami-san. Perhaps that is the cause of the problem?"
"Wait a minute…" the navigator back tracked, seeing what she was getting at. "I'm not going to…"
"We should at least try."
They looked at Sanji in utter shock. To see him actually disagreeing with a lady, especially his precious Nami-san, was not an every day occurrence. But, then again, neither was having a liar that could no longer lie.
"Sanji-kun!"
"YOSH! Let's do it!" Luffy resolved with looking into the situation any longer.
"Let's not be hasty," Nami warned, tears already swimming in her eyes at the prospect of getting rid of the ruby.
Nodding, Robin remarked, "It's not a normal gem, so we have to be careful."
"So… it's like a curse?" Zoro wondered aloud, swirling the alcohol in his mug around.
The skeleton stiffened. "The last curse was when I lost my shadow. This is horrible!"
"A curse?" Chopper shrieked. He was shivering and Usopp wanted to comfort him, but was too unsure himself.
"It's possible," Robin mused.
Franky shook his head in disbelief. "You guys get into the most trouble of anyone I've seen."
Their captain had recovered from his pummeling and jumped to his feet. "Come on! We have to throw the shiny rock overboard so Usopp can tell stories again!"
"Oi!" Usopp objected feebly. "I can still tell stories…"
He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Sanji. His eyes communicated one thing; leave it to Luffy.
"Wait!" Nami grabbed the rubber boy's arm on his way out. "At least put it to a vote!"
"Okay! Who wants to cure Usopp?"
All nine hands went up. It wasn't until Luffy had already dashed outside that it had dawned on Nami that she'd been tricked.
She rubbed her head tiredly. "Damn, he never asked how we should cure him…"
"He's smarter than we give him credit for, " Robin laughed softly.
"Yeah…" Usopp stayed in his chair next to Chopper while most of the crew filed out to toss the precious stone into the sea. He just hoped they could fix this without anyone getting hurt.
0~0~0
Their plan of throwing the "cursed" ruby overboard didn't work. And it was proven by quite some maliciousness on Zoro and Sanji's part.
After the red jewel had completely disappeared into the depths of the ocean, leaving Nami to sulk in her room for several hours later, the unlikely duo cornered Usopp between the helm and the lion figurehead. He had nowhere to run and no one to turn to. The sad part was he had a sketchy idea of why the cook and the swordsman had sought him out.
"Uh, hey guys. How's it going?" he tried again anyways.
They shot each other a conspiratorial glance.
"Oh, nothing," the swordsman replied casually. "We just want to see if you can lie again."
Sanji took a drag from his cigarette. "It's for your own good and the crew's." He smirked like the devil he was. "And it might benefit us, too."
Zoro cracked his knuckles, and Usopp knew he meant business.
But his mind continued to reel from the improbability of it all. The only time the two rivals worked together was if someone screwed with both of them… oh crap. The sharpshooter had been caught in a spur-of-the-moment trap.
"Me first," Zoro stepped forward and Usopp pressed his back to the ship. He waited for death to befall him, but when he opened his eyes he was alive and subject to a demonic glare. Usopp almost wished for the first option. "What happened to my haramaki?"
Usopp's gaze went lower to see that Zoro was indeed haramaki-less, which would have been an obvious change if he hadn't been occupied with his own issues.
Knees shaking and skin sweating, he prayed to whatever god might be listening that he could lie and their plan had succeeded. I don't know. Was what Usopp direly wanted to say.
Instead, "N-nothing. Luffy and me just borrowed it."
"And where is it now?" Zoro growled and his hand shifted threateningly to his sword.
"It's… it's…" Usopp sighed, he couldn't win against his traitorous tongue. "It's gone. We used it to carry lobsters and they… clawed it up?"
He gave the swordsman an imploring look and showed his palms in a silent apology and plea for forgiveness. Zoro's cold glare did not lessen.
"That was my last one. I don't have enough money to buy another and now I don't have a place to keep my katanas during battle. Who's going to save your ass when I can't fight as well? I believe you owe me."
An evil smirk appeared on his face. Within moments, Usopp was crumpled on the ground following a relentless barrage of blows. He would forget appealing to Zoro. The man had no mercy.
Maybe Sanji? The cook had been a silent observer apart from the occasional remarks that, "The marimo should have thought of that before getting his clothes all bloody and sweaty." Otherwise, he chose to speak only when he was face to face with Usopp.
"Oi, looks like you can't lie still."
"Ugh…"
"I suppose our experiment doesn't need to continue," Sanji remarked and Usopp dared to hope it was over. "But, I'd like to know why you thought it would be funny to swap the paprika with chili powder in that dish for Robin-chan and Nami-san."
Usopp really had no excuse for this one, even if he could twist the truth.
"Exactly," the cook agreed with Usopp's silence. "And just so you know." He rolled back his sleeves. "Robin-chan wouldn't eat any of the snacks I prepared her for a week and Nami-san was furious at me for a month! Even though she's gorgeous even when she's angry~."
Every kick that fell after that, Usopp took in silence, like a man. He knew he'd deserved each new bruise from both Sanji and Zoro and he was thoroughly guilty. Though his face was too swollen to tell them that.
It had been unnecessary, but he hadn't really thought his actions through. Zoro's haramaki and consequential fighting style had been compromised because the island fighting lobsters Luffy and he had caught were very close to gouging their eyes out and the closest thing to hold them in was his haramaki hung out to dry.
Meanwhile, Sanji's cooking and his relationship with the girls of the crew had been victimized because Usopp wanted to test substituting hot sauce for chili powder in his artillery. Luffy had stayed far away after the last experiment and Usopp wasn't about to set his mouth aflame. Now, that was sheer stupidity.
Sanji and Zoro walked away from Usopp with their mission completed and the sharpshooter appropriately humbled.
"We're done," Zoro announced to the crew that was scattered about the deck.
The cook made his way down the few steps. He addressed Robin and Nami in particular. "The plan didn't work."
Only marginally surprised, Nami turned to the older woman.
"Now that we lost our increased budget and those two bakas got their anger out, would you like to try a different method?"
"I have an idea," Robin mused. "But let's see how long Nagahana-kun can last."
It was mid-afternoon, nearly a day from when they left the island where they found the now absent ruby, when Usopp caved in.
He'd been patching up the battered Kabuto when he threw down his equipment in despair. "I can't take it anymore!"
"Nani?" Luffy had watched him work for a while, but had gotten board with no tales to be told.
"I can't take this… this hole. I feel like I'm missing something important."
Everyone was on deck, enjoying the sun and clear skies that were so rare and short on the Grand Line. Zoro had woken up, Brooke stopped playing to Chopper and Sanji paused in the midst of another love confession. Franky was fixing the Sunny's anchor, but also heard Usopp.
Robin closed her book. "I have a question for you, Nagahana-kun."
Interested, Usopp paid attention and the others were also keen to hear what the raven-haired woman had to say.
"What did that writing read?"
Though, the sharpshooter didn't answer, working to remember the message, the other two who had present made sure to comment.
"The one that Usopp could understand at the ruins?" Chopper asked.
Zoro frowned. "And Robin couldn't."
"Really?" Sanji tapped his foot impatiently.
Nami had been with Sanji on Luffy duty at that time and didn't know what they were talking about, either. But she could wait until it played out.
"Where was this?" Or not.
This time, Usopp responded, "Next to the ruby."
"Oh…" Nami covered her face. That loss was too fresh in her mind.
"What you do not see as truth will show itself in good time as the most precious stone of all."
They stared at Usopp like he'd suddenly started to spout something in another language. He shrugged and started to put away his things.
Luffy scratched his head. "That's weird."
The crew was in anonymous agreement and didn't even have to say they were at a loss.
But, Robin was well aware of what it meant.
"Ah, so that was it." She wore an amused smile.
"WHAT?" they demanded.
Robin slid a piece of paper out of her book and showed it to her crewmates, including Usopp. On it was a collection of symbols and characters that could be classified as writing.
"This is the original that Nagahana-kun translated for us," Robin pointed at the carefully scripted lines. "It wasn't the ruby that held the curse, because that is what it is, but this message. The interesting part is it was meant for certain eyes only because only he could read it." Their eyes flicked to Usopp.
He glared at the writing like it was a physical enemy. "But, how do I get rid of this… curse?"
"Is it really a curse?" Franky spoke skeptically.
"Yes," Robin confirmed. "And, it's actually quite simple. The words speak of not seeing the truth as being the most precious. This most likely refers to your chronic lying." Brooke chuckled, while Zoro and Sanji smirked. "So, the only way to break the curse is to tell the truth."
Usopp's jaw dropped open. "T-that's it? But… but I've been telling the truth the whole day!"
The sharpshooter yelped a little when Franky hit him in the back in what possibly was a comforting fashion. "Looks like you're stuck, bro. Could be worse."
"Worse…" Usopp gasped and Chopper fidgeted anxiously.
"Robin? Is he stuck?"
She shook her head slowly and everyone released the breath they'd unconsciously been holding. "The trick is…"
"… He has to tell the truth willingly," Nami finished as it dawned on her.
The others, even Zoro were mildly impressed at this deduction.
"Such exquisite beauty and brains~!" Sanji exclaimed.
Zoro muttered something derogatory under his breath, but Robin stopped the cook from retaliating.
"Yes. It's quite fascinating the extent that past civilization went to give people enlightenment. I wonder if the meaning rearranges itself for different people that require aid…"
Usopp wasn't listening anymore and neither was anyone else, as the sharpshooter prepared to tell the truth. Robin was left to her ponderings, not that she had any problem with that, and the others encouraged Usopp.
"Go, Usopp!" Luffy and Chopper chanted. "Tell the truth!"
"Yohoho! This should be very entertaining!"
"If they break anything…" Franky warned, his arms crossed.
Zoro gave him a puzzled glance. "How would they…? Oh, yeah, they always manage. As long as no one gets hurt."
Usopp climbed onto a barrel and raised his hands for silence. His audience quieted.
"Okay, okay. Here I go…"
Sanji rolled his eye at the long nosed man's dramatic inclinations. "Great. The ship's liar is going to return, along with plans to steal food that have a moderately higher chance of succeeding."
"Don't worry, Sanji-kun, I'll get the newest lock at the next town. This will put things back to normal. And isn't it better that way?"
"Hai! Nami-swannn~!"
The sharpshooter took a deep breath and opened his mouth to shout, "I'M A COWARD!"
His cry fell on wondering ears and faded at last.
"Eh? That was his truth?" Franky lifted his sunglasses.
"Figures," Zoro snorted.
Luffy and Chopper jumped up and down while Usopp got off the barrel.
"Try to lie, Usopp! Tell a lie! Come on!"
Nami sweat dropped. "This is backwards…"
An extra hand flipped a page. "So it is."
Deliberately, Usopp made his more excitable nakama wait as he put his hand to his forehead to think. "Let's see… okay, I got it!" He stood ramrod straight and, in a burst of courage pointed at the swordsman and exclaimed. "Zoro, you're hair looks like grass!"
"Nani?" Zoro snarled and began to move menacingly towards the sharpshooter. "Say that again!" Franky and Brooke managed to pull him back before he did something rash.
Usopp had cringed, but held his ground. Yet, the crew was confused. Had anything been proven?
Wearing similarly confused expressions, Luffy and Chopper glanced at him. The reindeer attempted to clarify, "What was that, Usopp? Are you cured?"
He stroked his chin contemplatively. "Hmm, that was the truth. I was going to say his hair didn't look like grass. I don't think it worked, then."
"Bastard," the swordsman growled.
Being himself, Luffy found the incident enormously amusing.
"Shishishi!" he laughed. "That's true!"
Sanji chose to redirect the conversation as Zoro grew angrier. "Maybe you're right, Usopp. What now?"
"This probably means that wasn't your real truth," Robin suggested.
"What? Now it has to be my real truth," Usopp groaned.
When no one gave an alternative solution, he gave in. "Fine. I'll try again." He faced his nakama once more, though everyone was less energized and more anxious.
"I SHOULDN'T LIE!"
Luffy grabbed Usopp and pointed to himself, "Say a lie about me."
This wasn't good. The sharpshooter had to decline.
"How about I tell you a story, instead?"
"Yosh!"
"One time, I faced a twister all by myself…" Usopp grinned, thinking he was cured. "From inside a basement."
They were having a difficult time stomaching their disappointment as an entire crew, as Usopp gave it a shot two more times. By the fourth time only Robin and Nami were giving him a second glance as try after try failed.
"Damn it!" Usopp threw his hands in the air. Frustrated and ready to give up, he went down to his workshop and didn't come back up until it was dark.
The night air was nice against his skin, tanned and tough from his time at sea, and Usopp took his time before he arrived at the helm.
It was his favorite spot on the Thousand Sunny. He could be near the figurehead that reminded him of the Merry through some connection he seemed to feel whenever he approached the sunflower-shaped lion. Also, it was the center of navigation and, despite not being the navigator, Usopp cherished being at the helm, peering over the lion's head into the many shades of blue.
Now, he brought his hand over the wood grain of the steering wheel. It was decidedly more modern than most ships, Franky had insisted on the best, but tradition remained in its design.
Usopp tightened his grip and stared into the sky. He exhaled and his breathe were tiny ice crystals before him. The evening was young, but already chilly.
Seeing how big the sky, the ocean and everything was around him, put Usopp's life into perspective.
His dream, his journey, his nakama, his strength and his fears. Usopp had those and more and, as was the way of the world, they were challenged at every turn. As were everyone else's and they defended them all the same, but…
Eyes widening, he moved the wheel ever so slightly. Not so their course was altered, but the arrangement of the stars changed to something new.
"I need to defend my dream too," Usopp whispered, to the stars, to his nakama, but mainly himself. His voice gradually grew louder and louder, until it exploded into a burst of willpower. "I don't need lies to fulfill what I want to do or protect my nakama. I don't need to hide behind them. I need to become a BRAVE WARRIOR OF THE SEA!"
As soon as Usopp had this realization he could feel that things were different. He didn't need to test anything to make sure. He could tell, and it felt both familiar, but unusual. Better.
Filled with exultation, Usopp leapt and punched the air, his arm stretching to the stars. The curse was broken and all was well.
He let loose another triumphant cry and then sprinted towards the dining room where he could hear the sounds of nakama and the warm light of home.
"Chopper! Luffy! I have a story to tell you!"
Robin smiled and the disembodied limbs vanished. Just as she thought, this had been a learning experience for every Straw Hat, but especially Usopp.
Seeing her expression, Nami faced her with a thoughtful look.
"Shouldn't you have told Usopp that the curse only lasts a day?"
She didn't need to reply, but did anyway. "No. He needed this."
0~0~0
Author's Note: Oh my schnitzel! It's been too long since I updated this baby. But here I am, alive and well. And I'll say this, I'm actually really proud of how this story turned out. Which is funny because Usopp is my least favorite Straw Hat. Not meaning any offense to Usopp fans out there, but I have very little respect for him and yet… It's so easy for me to write from his point of view… I'm a weird soul indeed.
So, I'm trying to include all nine members if it's a short involving others, but damn, it's hard! Especially Brooke, his personality is so… undefined. Besides being perverted and having a sob story that is. Plus, I'm really trying not to plaster my love of Zoro all over this and not do justice to the other characters. So, if you see the battle in my writing, cheer for my side.
Preview for the next short. Sanji is generally in good health and good condition, so what caused him to get cramps and why does it hurt so badly? Thanks for reading an please review if you're not on the verge of death. ;)