After persuading Magnus to keep his mouth shut and accompany Clary to Luke's (she was helping out with the bookstore) Jace plowed down the corridor in the Institute with a buzzing mind. Inwardly, he was proud of the way he handled the information in front of Clary but now that she wasn't here the idea was starting to terrify him. Really, he knew he shouldn't be afraid-fear was for the weak-but somehow, this type of fear was different. This was uncharted territory. This was an idea he had always just pushed away for "later". Not now. Definably not now.

But just not being ready for it doesn't make it go away. He was going to be a…a…oh Angel, he couldn't even think it. The idea was just too foreign.

"Jace?"

He blinked and saw Iz in front of him. She looked slightly concerned…or confused.

"Are you alright? I said your name three times."

Immediately, he felt his mask on his face again. "Of course, they don't make them as good as me," he answered.

Iz looked at him and inside he grimaced: even for him that comeback was off. He would have to work harder to keep everyone unconcerned. Perhaps he was loosing his touch, letting his guard down too much with Clary. Maybe he was starting to loose part of it with other people too. Or maybe his mind was buzzing too much with the thought of…of…oh Angel.

"Uh-huh." She said. "Well, when Jace comes back in there make sure you tell him lunch is ready."

"Jace wouldn't abandon a good looking body, and this one is top-notch, Iz." He retorted, happy that this one was a bit more natural. "Who made it?"

"Not everybody hates my cooking, Jace."

"Well, hates wouldn't quite be the word I would use…"

She glared at him, looking deadly despite the innocent look her black hair being in a braid over her shoulder gave her. "Maryse" she answered.

"Hmmmm, well then I guess it's time for lunch." He announced, forcing a teasing smirk at his sister.

She scoffed and they headed into the kitchen. As they walked Jace tried to push his thoughts to the back of his brain. He had to keep his cool. Clary obviously wasn't ready to tell them yet-he figured she wouldn't be stupid enough to try and hide something that big-and truefully, he wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. Actually, as he thought about it, perhaps Clary was handling this a lot better then he was. She at least could act cool, she didn't act too out of character and she was the one with a…a…he had said it earlier…but somehow saying it to Clary was different then thinking it in his own head. He was too young for this…too young…to him. Oh Angel, he didn't know how to be a…well look at the example he had. His tried to destroy the world. And….

Jace shook his head firmly. This was ridicules. He never over thought things…well, not this much anyway. He was freaking himself out. He had to be cool. Chill. Jace was chill. Nothing bothered him…nothing…

Jace straightened his shoulders and raised his head, forcing his face into the empty mask he often wore as he walked into the kitchen. Maryse was there, but she was the only one.

"Hungry, Jace?" She asked, looking up from the pizza she was pulling out of the oven.

He nodded, "Aren't I always?" though his stomach was churning: he always lost his appetite when something was bothering him. It was somewhat annoying really.

Maryse smiled. "Usually," she answered. "Izabelle, would you mind grabbing plates? And it's just the three of us for lunch. Thought I'd go easy so pizza's what you get."

Iz set down three plates on the large wooden table. Jace sat and Maryse set the tray on a cooling rack on the table.

Afterward, Jace thought that he should have just forced the food down despite the fear of it coming right back up, but at the time, when he grabbed a piece and they all started eating, he could hardly swallow a bite. He didn't mind pizza, it wasn't his favorite, but it was something that he didn't hate. But even so the moment he bit into it he found that he could not eat: it tasted like cardboard, his throat did not want to swallow, it felt like choking, his stomach clenched unpleasantly as he forced it down.

It was when he set down the pizza that she started.

"What's wrong with the pizza, Jace?"

It took him a moment for his mouth to remember how to form words. Funny, how eating could be effected by thoughts and thoughts could be affected by lack of eating. But eventually he answered, dumbly, "Nothing."

"Then why aren't you eating it?"

Again he failed to answer quickly. He heard to accusatory tone in her voice; he heard the suspicion and the sudden distrust that he once knew after Valentine died; his mind only leap to the place he wanted it so hard to stay away from: the…baby.

"I…um…."

"Is there something your hiding, Jace?"

Her eyes were accusing and for once, Jace found that it didn't enact a rebellious feeling; he wanted to cower into himself. What was happening to him?

"No."

His voice was too small though. Even he knew it. And he knew, as soon as her eyes narrowed and frown deepened that she knew too.

"What are you hiding." It was supposed to be a question; it sounded like an order.

He paused. Why was his heart beating so quickly? Why was he so scared?

"You better not lie to me Jace."

Isabelle said nothing. Instead, she looked slowly from one to the other, looking as though she wanted to come to his rescue, but also for once hesitating.

"It's personal." He finally answered. He couldn't tell her that was for sure. Clary had only told him that morning, he was still freaking out obviously. He had to keep it a secret.

"There is no personal for you. Not after-"

"I'm not his son. You should not credit me for being his son." Something was snapping. He felt it inside. Instead of the unfamiliar feeling of being prey, his rising anger was creating his familiar feeling; his Jace feeling.

Maryse was getting angry too. "You were raised by him. That's all it takes. And after what happened, obviously we haven't worked hard enough-though we never knew-"

"I did the right thing!" Jace stood up quickly, starting Iz into whispering his name quickly as a warning. "You can't hold it over my head."

"I can if you're hiding something! You could still be secretly working for his supporters. How could I know? I know how he was-how easy it is to believe-"

"And you've lived with me for how long?" Jace blurted, anger causing his voice to sound harsh and sarcastic.

"Long enough for you to not hide things from me."

Afterwards, he would question why it was that sentence that set him off; afterwards he would wonder guiltily why he gave in; afterwards he would wonder why he was so unlike himself.

But afterwards was not now, and now, he found himself moving towards Maryse as she backed away almost intimidated. He did not care; rage was burning through him uncontrolled. "You want to know what's wrong?" He asked her, his voice deathly low. "You want to know what I'm hiding? What you could not trust me enough to leave alone for me to get used to?" She did not answer, but just stood back, eyes wide. "Clary's…pregnant." His voice cracked at the word pregnant, and his anger vanished. Instead, he felt an emptiness wash through him, like he did the moment he first thought he was Clary's brother.

He couldn't stay there anymore; he had to get out. Hurrying through the door without looking at either of their faces, he headed for the training room.