I never used to be like this, until that night when I was 15. So innocent, I didn't think I deserved what happened to me. Nobody does.
*Flashback* (Don't read if you don't want to – includes rape.)
The air was cold, and I didn't want to welcome it, but I had to option to. My cardigan is too thin to keep the col out, even a slight breeze.
I quickened my pace, it might have been paranoia, or it really was happening, but I felt like I was being watched. Footsteps quickening behind me.
Stay calm, don't give away that you're scared, people smell fear.
"Hey Bella! Bella, wait up babe!" Slurred the voice of the boy behind me. James, the boy who has been after me since the start of school, it has started to get annoying really, like my own personal stalker, and it was starting to get out of hand.
I couldn't even tell my mom that this was happening. All the stress from the chemo treatment has made her weaker, and I really can't put this much pressure on her right now, probably never.
Throughout my thinking, I must have slowed down or stopped, because the next thing I recall is a pair of shaky hands wrapping around my waist from behind, and the stench of alcohol flitter from the back of my neck, nearly making me gag from the putrid smell.
"James, let go. You don't want to do this, your drunk, not thinking straight, just go home and fall asleep." I couldn't think of anything else to say other than that, afraid that my voice would break – it was already quivering.
"Don't worry babe. You won't feel a thing…much" He started to laugh uncontrollably.
That was the last thing I heard before I felt a massive crash come to the back of my head, and the echo was the only thing remaining in my head while I passed out.
*End of Flashback* (You can read again if you stopped)
Thankfully I was still knocked out when he raped me, and left me in a ditch just 5 blocks from my house. I can still remember the feel of waking up with the morning dew covering me, like a freezing blanket – the only feeling of security that I had.
From then on, I promised myself that I wouldn't tell my mom what happened, and never would, I just got on with life.