Disclaimer: I do not own -Man or any of its characters.
Kanda's POV:
We walked side-by-side through the trees to lake. It was rare to spend a moment longer than necessary outside of the protection of the Ark, and I planned to enjoy the opportunity. As we approached our destination, I chanced a look at Allen, and could see that uncomfortable demeanor he sometimes gets around me. His eyes cast downward, cheeks slightly flushed, and shoulders dropped minutely. An expression that is contrary to the usually unbreakable self-confidence that I've come to expect from him. I figured out the reason a few months ago now, but he hasn't said a word that would truly confirm or deny my suspicions.
Allen left the Order to fight his own way, and I trusted not only his reasons for doing so, but his character, enough to want to support him. There are also my own reasons for disliking the actions of the Church of course. The same goes for Lenalee, Lavi, Komui, Johnnie, and the handful of Finders that left with him. There were many others that didn't come along with us, but I know would aid us if we needed the help. Noise and General Tiedoll are two of those people.
I've learned a great deal about trusting in others in the last few years. It's still a constant internal battle for me, but I consider every one of our small band to be a true friend. So now when I see any of them demonstrating their true self, I no longer remove myself emotionally from the situation. We learn from each other, and though I struggle the whole way, I'm always glad to have followed through. I learned that Allen was polite with people he didn't know well because he saw how much it helped Mana in staying on everyone's good side; Lavi pushed people's buttons because it got others to reveal more about themselves; Lenalee cares about all of Order members like family; and when Komui was in the Order he kept a lot of seedy practices devised by the upper ranks away from his Branch.
But having gotten a foothold on friendship, the possibility of romance caught me completely unawares. I put it all together about three months ago, my feelings and his hints. And it took me a long time to figure out what to do with them - until two weeks ago. I decided I would do something about it. His sometimes-shy attitude doesn't suit him, so I've been putting us into situations that I hoped would break his silence and inaction. Doesn't he know that even if I didn't like him in that way - or men at all - that I wouldn't rebuke him? We've gone through far too much for that.
But right now I feel as though I'm the one that will break first. Today will be the final battle, but there will either be two winners or two losers in the end.
The lake wasn't large; thirty feet across. And it was densely wooded all around. We took off our uniforms – still the same as the Black Order uniforms we're all used to except that the crest is replaced with a small ark - and got into the lake, neither seeming to pay the other much mind. It felt so stupid that we were both pretending. We spent some minutes in silence, letting the day's training roll off of us, until I decided it was time to push him into action.
I stood up straight in the waist-deep water, and made a bit of a show out of rubbing a knot on the middle of my back. I would normally only ask for help on a knot much more painful that this one, but I doubted Allen would know the difference. I asked if he would help me out, and my call seemed to wake him from a trance. He looked at me for a moment, and then accepted the request with a smile. The expression warmed me in its kindness. He made his way over to me with large steps through the water. I was glad to see that he was acting like himself, shyness forgotten.
I worked on the knot until he was next to me, and then I leaned my arms over the shear drop from the land to the lake. My arms were crossed in front of me and my knees barely scraped the bottom of the lake when I stood on them. He moved my hair, still in a pony-tail, out the way and over my shoulder and started using his thumbs to work in the area he saw me massaging. His touch was light at first, feeling out the muscles. It made my mind calm and my heart speed up at the same time. And then, suddenly, he pushed hard at the knot that was there and didn't let the pressure up. It was painful at first, which I didn't express out-loud. But it wound up feeling quite good and though I was a little embarrassed to do so, I let out the moan of pleasure that I was fighting.
I could feel Allen hesitate, and in that moment I doubted myself. I doubted whether I should open up in this way to anyone, and I doubted whether I really knew that Allen would be receptive to it. But then he continued what he was doing, but not for the larger region he was covering before, but that very specific spot that caused my reaction. I was relieved by the acceptance, but then became afraid that I would be even more vocal before this massage was over. I was breathing more quickly and shallowly, I realized, in my holding back again. A part of me wanted to end this now and turn the tables on him, but I knew that this was important, not to mention pleasurable.
His breath came more quickly as well, and his chest sometimes pressed onto my back. I moaned low and deep when the urge hit me, and Allen didn't falter again. I stopped thinking little by little, and let my body relax even further. I wanted his hands to travel all over my body, and I wanted a chance to touch him too. I wanted to kiss him, and I wanted him to press his body more closely to mine. When the knot was worked out, I simply breathed in rhythm with his movements, which grew slower and slower until finally stopping.
"How's that?," he asked a little breathily, and I wanted to laugh in answer. Instead I stood up and turned around, face flushed and not caring, because his was too.
"Much better, thank you," I said, looking him in the eye. I could see that I had an effect on him, but he still seemed somewhat guarded. "I can return the favor by working on your shoulder," I offered.
He considered for a moment before accepting. He said he knew just the place to sit and swam over to where I called him over from before. I could see his body through the water as he swam and I allowed myself to watch him reach his destination before setting out after him. I swam too, and the water felt cool against my face. When I got there, he sat down on a flat rock that put his shoulders at the same height as the middle of my chest. He reached his right hand over to his left shoulder and said, "It's really stiff from here," demonstrating the juncture of his neck and shoulder, "to here," sweeping his hand down to mid-bicep. "And here to here too," rubbing his upper chest and back near the shoulder.
I stepped behind him and used both hands to apply firm pressure on the left side of his neck and shoulder, adopting a slow pace. The hollow of his neck was so soft and I wondered what it would feel like against my lips. His posture slumped more and more as he relaxed, and his breathing became deep and slow. I focused lower down his shoulder, and after a couple of minutes moved low enough that my pinky felt the rougher skin of his weapon arm. I knew now more than ever that I wanted to know every piece of him that he wanted to show me. His body: soft and rough and scared and warm. His mind: much the same.
He wasn't enjoying his massage as much as I had enjoyed mine; more painful but more necessary for his recovery. So I thought of ways to fix that as well as I could. When I focused on his upper back, I leaned my body into him, barely touching. It was an effort to keep moving, as if I wasn't affected by the contact. As I massaged, my head dipped forward and the loose part of my hair wound up spilling over his shoulder, making him shutter. He leaned more fully against me, and I nearly gave in right then. I almost pulled him backwards and showed him all of the frustration I felt. But I didn't because this wasn't only lust that I felt towards him. If I was going to break first, I owed it to him to confess with some clothes on. Whatever followed that confession could be as passionate as we pleased.
I allowed myself to enjoy the closeness a little longer, and then I circled around so that I could massage his upper chest. I didn't move directly in front of him; my left side was essentially in line with his left side. When I resumed, he closed his eyes. I studied his features; pleasure and pain. When finished I asked, "Did I miss anything?"
Allen was slow to respond, but said, "No. Thank you, Kanda."
"I brought our share of sandwiches in my bag. Would you like to eat here?" It was a conscious decision on my part to bring the food, so that he wouldn't be in a hurry to go back.
He perked up right away at the suggestion. "The shorter the wait the better, let's eat right now!"
He was dried and clothed first, but he waited for me to open my bag and retrieve our lunches. Being a crystal-type, I get much hungrier than I used to, but no one holds a candle to Allen's appetite. When I finished my meal, I listened for the others. They were still practicing, which was a relief to me. I felt good on a full stomach, and I image that the same was true for Allen.
I broached the subject in an indirect way that I hoped could be led in the right direction. I voiced a recent theory of mine that I haven't brought up to anyone yet. "Allen, I've been thinking about our progress and how much stronger we've become, especially during an actual fight against akuma and the Noah. Maybe how well Exorcists know each other or like each other could have an effect on how well their Innocence works together when they combine their strength."
He thought for a minute and said, "It's possible. At least for parasitic and crystal-types, which respond to the emotions of their Accommodators. That's a great observation. We should ask Komui and Johnnie to look at our training and mission data to see if any evidence can be found." Then after some silence, he said in an interested voice, "I wonder how we could train our Innocence to be more powerful together than apart, if that's true. Just spend more time together? Or tell each other their deepest dreams and fears?"
My heart beat hard as I realized this was my chance. "I thought of it when I realized that my Innocence feels a little different when I'm fighting closely with you. I'm not sure if that difference made us stronger, or if our teamwork was just better though."
He looked at me seriously, and for a long time. He turned his body to face me directly and scooted forward so that we were just two feet apart. I tucked my legs so that he could do so. "I think it's because…I like you." He was about to explain further, his mouth open, but he stopped. He must have been able to tell from my face that I understood exactly what he meant, and that I wasn't about to punch him in the face.
I was happy, even happier than I thought those words would make me, and I showed him how much. I leaned forward, my self-imposed restraint lifted, and kissed him soundly. His lips were so soft. He kissed back immediately and thrills ran through my entire body. I moaned into his mouth at the contact, and he moaned in response. I moved my body close, never breaking the kiss. My legs wound up on either side of him, bent at the knees. His tongue licked my bottom lip, making me groan. My tongue met his and they swirled together in a give-and-take that felt so wonderful that I thought I could never get enough. My fingers ran through his hair, still damp from the lake, then the sides of his face, and around his back, pressing him closer still. Allen grabbed at my neck in response; then felt down my chest, up my arms, to my face. After some time, he reluctantly pulled away, breathing heavily.
He looked at me with dilated eyes, and then turned to the side. "Timcampy, go to Lenalee," he called out.
His golem was ten feet from us and I could see him turning back and forth, nodding 'no', and refusing to listen to his master.
Allen was slightly annoyed, but tried something else. "Fine. Just don't record us unless you sense danger."
Timcampy turned around then, and started to scan our surroundings instead of us.
Understanding Allen's reasoning, I reached up to my ear and changed the setting to the device that I wore. We usually kept them on a setting which recorded all audio and allowed our team members to talk with us as the need arose. The privacy setting stopped the recording and acted more like a telephone in that it must be answered. Allen did the same, and we looked at each other once again.
It wasn't difficult to pick up where we left off. "I like you too," I said even though it was probably obvious. I thought he might like to hear the words.
In response, he gave me an open look of happiness. I reveled in the feelings that look gave me, until he leaned forward to recaptured my lips. We kissed deeply and our hands were always moving. We kept it up for a long time. I was hard, but was trying to ignore it. One step at a time, and I would enjoy every one.
I licked his neck in one long stroke, and it made him gasp. I wanted to taste more of him and, remembering my earlier desire to explore the hollow of his neck, I kissed him more and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his jacket. I stopped my hands a moment, in case he wanted to protest, but he just placed my hand to the next button in response. When I was done, my left arm pushed the material off of his shoulder and I bent my head, letting my lips ghost over his skin. I licked at that soft skin, and then bit on it gently. I took my time giving attention to that spot, and then I licked up his neck again. His lips met mine and we kissed more hungrily than before. My hands explored his exposed chest and abdomen, and his hands unbuttoned my jacket, never letting our tongues part. I felt his lean muscle and soft skin with the roughness of his scars.
When my buttons were undone, he wasted no time at pushing the jacket off my shoulders and out of the way. He broke the kiss and looked in admiration at me, piece by piece, finishing by tracing my tattoo, which now included half of my torso, with his eyes. I took the opportunity to do the same to him. I liked the expression on his face: dazed yet serious. He's become a very attractive man, from the angles of his face to the fitness of his body. Our arousals were evident through our pants. His smile showed both embarrassment and anticipation. But I had no such feelings of embarrassment anymore.
Done with merely looking, he reached out his right hand his fingers lightly grazed over my chest and stomach. Then using his left hand on my shoulder to support him, he leaned in and licked and sucked all the skin he could find. His tongue was so warm and moist. Everything he touched left aftershocks behind him. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the attention.
After he spent some time biting on my ear, the accumulation of sensations made me feel like I couldn't hold still any longer. I kissed him hard and removed his jacket completely. I pushed against him and he slowly leaned back. I followed until he was lying on the ground and I was flush against him. I could feel his heated skin against mine, and I could also feel his erection pressing into the lower part of my stomach. We molded together, pulling on each other to be as close as possible.
I ground against him, with more instinct than conscious thought. I knew as time went on I would continue to think less and less, but I accepted that without much trouble. The outside world didn't matter right now. I moved up his body enough that our erections were aligned and we were able to continue our manic kisses. Once positioned that way, he started grinding back in time with my movements. We moaned and gasped into each other's mouths. He put his arms around my neck so that we moved even more fluidly. I could feel my orgasm building but I didn't want it end, so I slowed us down considerably.
Allen's POV:
I never dared hope that things could go this well. I would never have guessed this morning that by the afternoon I would have Kanda on top of me touching me so desperately, after telling me that he in fact liked me as well. I wasn't analyzing it; there would be time for that later. But I did have the suspicion that he's been playing with me for weeks and that it wasn't my imagination after all. The thought endeared me to him all the more, somehow.
The reason I hadn't been more direct with him was because I had no idea how he would respond. Some people found the thought of homosexuality to be disgusting or abnormal. Those same people consider it to be unholy. Growing up with circus-folk and then the sort of people General Cross associated with, the people around me were rather liberal minded. But even they still laughed and made jokes behind closed doors. The types of people that live in towns and have families and normal jobs, however, are quick to judge and condemn. Then there are the people who make up the Order. In them I find the most diversity. The Pope says that it's sinful, but some of the Exorcists themselves tend to be rather self-indulgent in general. General Cross's debauchery is in fact legendary. So how to judge one sin against another? I was reluctant to find out what Kanda's conclusions were. And I wasn't confident in my friend's judgments either, so I confided in no one.
When I look within myself for the answer, I think I feel the same as anyone who has found a love interest. Not abnormal at all. No one had ever made me feel this strongly before, and I've met many people in my life. I have many great friends, but this is something else entirely. But…I couldn't shake the notion that maybe those condemning people knew something that I didn't. What if my Innocence felt that I betrayed God's mission and turned against me?
But here I was. Kanda likes me too. The connection to my Innocence felt stronger, not weaker. It thrummed in agreement with me, even more than it does when I'm helping others or when I'm with my closest friends. The doubts that I felt mingled with my excitement earlier have vanished. I'm focusing only on how great it is to be close to him. I was also able to ignore the pain in my shoulder quite easily.
He rocked more slowly against me, and it was for the best because I couldn't have been far from coming. But even though I came so close, I felt constricted by my pants. Things could be better still, so I set to make it that way. Still holding onto Kanda with one arm, I put my other arm between us and felt for the button of his pants.
His eyes were closed with his enjoyment written all over his face, and when he noticed what I was doing he looked me in the eye, and gave me a look as if making sure I knew what I was doing. I gave him a smirk then, which he reciprocated. He also put a little more distance between our bodies. Encouraged, I continued with what I was doing. I pulled down the fly and his hot, hard cock all but fell into my hand. The bastard wasn't wearing any underwear.
He laughed at my surprise, but sobered quickly as I gripped him more firmly, leaving a happy smirk behind. My fingers traveled gently over his length; erection so hard but skin so soft. It looked like he was having trouble keeping his position hovering over me.
All of a sudden, he pushed himself up until he was sitting on the ground. He reached his hand out to invite me to do the same. I did so quickly and put my hand in his. He pulled me up and we were both sitting face to face, and as close as two people can sit together. My legs were out to either side of Kanda's body, and his legs were spread out over mine.
I could now see what I was only feeling before. His member was protruding proudly out of his pants and was surrounded by dark hair. He pulled at my pants and pushed at my boxers, freeing my own straining erection. It was a great relief. He looked as if fascinated. His eyes lingered last on the white hair he found there before reaching out to take hold of me. I wasn't prepared for how good it felt.
I grabbed him in turn, and we fell into a slow pace that was in sync with each other's strokes. I leaned forward and kissed him with everything I had. We seemed to be well in tune. One of us would move faster, and the other would follow. We did as well as we could with spitting into our hands, but without better lubrication we were running into trouble.
I heard Kanda say "Fuck it", and before I could question what he meant his mouth was around my cock. I yelled out in surprise and pleasure. The all-encompassing warmth, the massaging of his tongue, and the knowledge that it was Kanda all rolled together through my body. He tore away at the rest of my clothes and when he resumed his hands helped his mouth bringing me closer and closer to the brink. I lay back, unable to do anything but moan and writhe under his concentrated efforts. With my eyes closed tightly as they were, I couldn't tell exactly what he was doing, but there was no part of me that felt neglected by his touch. When I finally did manage to look I could see him sucking me moving his head up and down my length. He had grabbed my cock in one hand at the base, reaching where his mouth couldn't. His other hand was rubbing my balls, first one and then the other. He looked up at me then with is blazing eyes, and the combined effect made me helpless to resist the orgasm that tore through my body. I cried out and my body bowed with my back lifting off the ground. He held me down at the hips and his mouth stayed firmly around me until I slid bonelessly back to the ground. He licked gently with his tongue then and coaxed another spurt of cum from me.
I laid there stupefied for a long time, looking up into the sky. I could hear sparring going on in the background, my ability to notice the things around me returning. When I could move again, I searched around for Kanda and saw that he was kneeling back at the bank of the lake, washing his face. I admired his profile as I walked up to him. I also took the time to plan how to make sure that he was every bit as satiated as I was.
When he turned to face me, the intensity of the want in his eyes made me hard all over again. He stood up and met me with a demanding kiss. I reached to the back of his head and undid the tie that held his hair back. Whatever reproach I was expecting for doing that never came. I ran my hands through his hair as I kissed him. He pressed himself against me and I could feel his need.
I parted my lips from his and then pulled down his pants, which were still undone from earlier. He stepped out and I discarded them. While I was on my knees, I gave his member an experimental lick. He gasped and grit his teeth. I could tell he wanted me to get on with it but he didn't say so. I surrounded the head with my mouth and rolled my tongue around it. His balance faltered some, and then I remembered my plan.
I stood up, grabbed his arm, and jerked my head towards the lake to point where I wanted us to go. I led him to a shear edge and told him to sit down, legs in the water. I backed away still looking at him and did a flip into the water. I had a lot of nervous energy, and I suppose I was also showing off. I swam to where he sat and when I got near he opened his legs wider so that I could stand in-between them. As I had hoped, it was a convenient position. The tip of his erection was an inch below my chin when I stood up straight in the water. He bent at the waist and kissed me again. I stretched my neck to meet him and stroked him lightly with my hands. When he pulled his lips away, I bent down and licked him from all angles. My hands stayed on his legs at first. It moved with me a little when my tongue would push against it from the sides. I was fascinated and took great care with what I was doing. I loved the unintelligible sounds he was making and when it seemed like he needed more, I fisted my right hand at his base and put my mouth around him as far as I could go. He moaned in appreciation. I moved my head up and down the shaft just as I saw him do to me. I sucked with my mouth and moved slowly. I thought I must be enjoying this just as much as he was. It was a revelation that I could feel so empowered and sexy and happy all at once. It felt like he leaned back on his hands a little, but I didn't look. I used my other hand to run through the hair that surrounded his base and then to massage his balls. After a time he put his hands on my good shoulder and his grip got tighter and tighter along with the quickening of his breath. I sped up my pace a bit more and held it there. I heard him speak my name right before his cum filled my mouth. I continued to suck, coaxing out everything he had. I swallowed it without any thought.
I looked up at him and smiled broadly. He pushed off the edge he was sitting on so that he stood directly in front of me in the water. He initiated a long, slow, lazy kiss and our bodies melted against each other. Our naked bodies flush together was a wonderful feeling. When we were done, both of us were hard again.
Kanda told me to stay where I was and then got out of the lake. He came back a moment later with the soap we had been using to wash up. He sat on the edge of the lake again and indicated that I should do the same. I sat down facing him while he dipped the soap in the water. He rubbed it in his hands and developed a thick later, then he grabbed my cock and stroked. He handed the bar of soap to me with a smirk. I hurried to use the soap in the same way, but I was rendered frozen often by his pumping. I fisted him hard as if it was a playful sort of revenge, but then we matched a more sedate rhythm. We moved ourselves closer and closer together and our lips met again.
Our sedate pace increased in speed gradually. Our moving hands would occasionally hit each other, we were so close. I put my head on his shoulder at one point and he did the same. When we were both close to release we were sitting up straighter. When I came, the stream shot into the air in bursts much for forcefully than I'd ever managed on my own. Kanda released right after me and no less impressively. I leaned on his shoulder once again, this time in perfect satisfaction. We stayed that way until our breathing slowed back to normal.
We switched the devices on our ears back to their default positions, took another quick dip in the lake, dressed and packed up. We didn't talk about what had happened; just gave each other knowing glances of various intensities. There would be time enough for discussions later. We already took much longer to "bathe" than was reasonable, even when factoring in the time it takes to each lunch. I called Timcapy to me and we made our way back to the others. I stopped hearing the sound of clashing weapons and breaking rock some time along the walk. When we tried to think of a reason that we could offer to the others as to why we would take so long, the best I could come up with is that we fell asleep. When we tried to think of a reason why we would both switch to privacy mode, we came up short…