Disclaimer: I do not own -Man or any of its characters.
Allen's POV:
Our day proved long but uneventful. Lavi and I visited five towns and though there was the occasional level 1 or 2 akuma, we didn't come across an Accommodator. As we walked, I taught him how to sense when the Innocence pieces were reacting to someone. Since I was the only one that was any good at it, I've taken to explaining it to the other Exorcists. Without a real demonstration, though, it was very hard to learn. Kanda and Lenalee were elsewhere, checking up on a faint lead on one of remaining three undiscovered pieces of Innocence.
Just as Lavi and I were finishing our report to Komui in the conference room, Kanda and Lenalee walked in and joined us. We all wound up pretty disappointed at the continuation of our unlucky streak. No new Innocence, no new Accommodators, no more captured Noah, and we took a major loss of ten Finders about a week ago. It made me want to fight all the harder and also to make certain that we didn't screw up the things that we did have going for us.
This is why when we parted, I made my way to the holding cells and asked Lenalee to join me. She had the most positive disposition when interacting with our prisoners after all. We spoke to the Finders on guard duty - who's three shifts were rotated to different Finders every three days - and were happy to confirm that there haven't been any significant disturbances in the past couple weeks.
We made the decision that it was wiser to capture than kill a Noah, since anyone killed would be replaced before long. We had a cell ready and waiting for most Noah, including myself if the need arose. But there are a few we haven't figured out how to contain. Tyki could pass through anything but Innocence, Road existed most truly in the dream world, and the Millennium Earl still had a lot of mystery surrounding him. But for the rest we were prepared.
Our first visit was to Wisely. The only weapon he can use on us is his mouth, which speaks whatever truth he thinks will give him or the Noah an advantage. And that's why we have the option to make his room soundproof at will. Johnnie figured out how to prevent Wisely's mind from harming us, but I don't understand it. Whatever it is still allows him to see into our thoughts, though. But the goal of today's visit was one of goodwill, to increase their complacency so they won't cause us any trouble.
He was sitting on the bed with his eyes closed. He seemed to spend a lot of time Seeing, but he's never told us anything helpful. Once Lenalee and I were directly in front of the cell, he opened his eyes to look at us and his skin changed from gray to a tan tone. So he was in the mood to let things go smoothly; he knew his captors were most at ease when he looked that way.
"Are you comfortable? Is there any reasonable request we can fulfill for you?" I began.
Wisely looked at Lenalee and me for a long time and then said, "More space. Living in one room will drive me crazy."
"We'll see what we can do," said Lenalee. "And what about the food? It's the same stuff we eat and we went to great lengths to find a good cooking staff who appeals to all nationalities."
"I receive the Middle Eastern food that I ask for. Three meals per day." This is the first time he's ever given us the feedback we asked for. It makes me a little hopeful. Though, of course, his request for more room can't be taken at face value.
He turned to me then and said mildly, "It looks like I have something interesting to tell Road the next time I dream, traitor. She's one of the few who hold out hope that you'll join us. But I wonder if she'll give up and decide you're worth killing after all when she finds out you're in love with an Exorcist."
I didn't give him an inch. "Do you really wonder? I thought you knew everything."
"Of course I was being intentionally vague. I don't owe you the whole truth - Just enough of the truth to worry you."
"It's our policy not to believe you, Wisely. But we do investigate what you say, just in case."
He was being unhelpful, so we left then and moved on toward the next Noah. Along the way, Lenalee gave me a questioning look. I mouthed the word 'later' and kept walking. She was wondering if Wisely was referring to her, I knew. I was busy being stuck on the word 'love'.
Lulubell in her Noah form was rising from a nap on the overstuffed chair when we approach her cell. I wouldn't have allowed those pets onto the Ark if we didn't already have Lulubell among us. She sometimes tries to fool others with her shape-shifting ability. The most effective was when she turned into a lamp and the guards thought that she must have escaped. Luckily they followed procedure and didn't open the cell.
"Are you well, Lulubell?" asked Lenalee. I hung back a bit, since she seemed to prefer Lenealee most of all the Exorcists.
"I need to roam."
"I'm sorry, but that's impractical. We don't know the limits of your abilities. This cell has no cracks you can fit through no matter how small you get. And the walls withstand a lot of pressure now matter how large you get. We can't say the same about anywhere else on the Ark."
"All the same – it makes me more desperate every day."
"We'll try to make your space larger."
She stood up. "I need a shower," she said and walked to her bathroom. Ever the cat – she acted as if we were no longer there. We watched her form through the translucent glass for a moment and then moved on.
"I can't help but feel like I'm cruel," Lenalee whispered.
"I know," I answered. There was no point in going over the pros and cons of confinement again. We knew all the arguments.
Our last stop was to David. Just David. He was prone to bouts of complete dismay, and he was in the middle of one right now. He was sitting on the bed with his head on his knees, arms circled around his legs. His skin was always gray. He's never been inclined to change that.
We separated the Noah of Bonds, which is strategically helpful but seems to me to be the cruelest act we've done. He's happiest in the mornings, which makes me think that maybe Road lets David and Jasdero be together in their dreams.
I decided to open with, "How's the music we got for you?" I could see the records scattered around the room, and the angriest sounding music was currently playing.
"Just great. It completely makes up for the fact that you're keeping me from Jasdero," he replied irritably.
"I won't lie. Even if we captured Jasdero, we would have to keep the two of you far enough apart that you can't make effective attacks on us."
"That would be an even bigger torture than how things are now." He said dismally. "At least right now one of us if free." Then he looked at me threateningly, "And you can bet that he's working with the Millennium Earl hard enough for the both of us."
"I was just stating fact, David." I got a glare in return, but I pressed on. "We're here today to see if there's anything else we can do for you within reason."
"You can just die. Then we'll get a 14th that's actually worth a damn."
Lenalee said, "You're not in the mood to talk. That's fine. Just let a guard know if you need something."
We walked in silence to the central park afterward and let the memory of those encounters wash over us. It was never easy to talk to them. But finally the guilt turned into acceptance as it always does. And when I was calm, Lenalee broached the subject I knew was coming.
"Allen, was Wisely telling the truth when he said that you were in love with an Exorcist? Is it…me?" Her wide-eyed expression turned pained. "I know it could have been one of those half truths, just to stir things up and get me to ask you about it. But I would just like to know."
I sat for a moment, remembering the relationship that almost was. Or rather was, and then got cut short. "I did love you, Lenalee. And I said so at the time that I felt it, but I don't feel that way now. You're one of my dearest friends, though, and nothing can change that. Really, don't worry anymore about that."
She looked at me, apology in her eyes. Perhaps it was that sadness that kept her from pressing further. She didn't ask again if there was someone I did love. And I didn't know the answer myself. But why dwell on it? I would know in due time.
"You're my dear friend too, Allen."
"Glad to hear it," I said honestly. I didn't really blame her for anything. When the reality that I was a Noah truly sunk in for her, she just started pulling away. It was a subtle decline in intimacy that left us as the friends we are today.
Then I remembered how Kanda didn't pull away yesterday. And his honest words.
For our first date, I stole Kanda away mid-step while he was walking alone along a hallway in the tower. The looks of confusion, followed by anger, followed by amusement on his face were priceless. We were in an unused Room away from the houses. It was completely blank, and white walled. As a way to introduce what I had in mind, I reminded him that I could make it look however I wanted, and then asked what he wanted me to do with it.
He looked at the blankness for a long time, and didn't come up with an answer.
"This isn't a life and death decision," I said teasingly. "Besides, I'm sure this won't be the only time I offer this choice to you. What's the first thing that pops into your head?"
After some more thought he said while continuing to look at a white wall, "I remember enjoying the cherry blossom festival in Edo in my fist life, before I became an Exorcist. Can you make that?" When he looked at me I could tell it really did have meaning for him. How could I refuse? I guess Kanda really doesn't do whimsical – I should have figured.
"I don't know what that's supposed to look like, and I need to in order for me to make it. Do you have a picture of those trees?"
"I have a book." We had to go back to his home for a minute.
When I finally took a look at the picture he showed me, realization hit me and I said, "Oh yea. I remember those trees from the time right before we took the Ark."
"Yes. Actually, we may have been the last humans to see them in that country." If he was sad at the loss of his countrymen he didn't show it, but I put a hand on his shoulder anyway.
It took around 15 minutes to set the scene. I made ten unique trees and copied them over and over again so that there were over 200 of them. Kanda instructed me to add brides, streams, and grass. I made the sky a clear blue with just a few clouds. Once I was done, I let the petals starts to fall.
Maybe he thought it was a silly request at first, if his hesitation to say it was any indication, but I didn't think so. It was rather beautiful. He seemed lost in thought, and I didn't disturb him. I looked ahead at what we had made. He walked forward slowly into the midst of it and I followed, interesting in the effect the scene had on him. When he stopped to examine one of the trees up close, I did the same. On impulse I paid it close attention and gave it more detail. The limbs became more unique with twists and bends, and the bark became thicker and more wrinkled.
Perhaps I became more involved in what I was doing than I thought. Kanda meshed his fingers with mine, which was quite a nice surprise, and pulled me along. He made no move to let go. It was such a simple gesture, and yet it made my heart race.
When we grew tired of walking we sat on the grass next to each other - facing opposite directions. Kanda took that opportunity to speak. "I was 17 and living in Edo with my parents and grandparents. I asked a local girl to go to the festival with me. My parents wanted me to marry her, but the idea of marriage felt like shackles to me back then. She wore a lavender kimono and used a parasol. She smiled easily and it always made me want to smile too. She would tell me stories about the people she met since the last time I saw her and I would listen to her voice, not much caring about the people she talked about…It seems I've recovered a sweet memory. Thank you for all of this." He looked very peaceful.
"It's my pleasure. Really. So, did you kiss her?" I asked with a mischievous smile.
He thought for a moment, and then smiled so large his teeth showed. "Yes, I think I did." He's going to prove himself more and more irresistible every day.
I began with, "Not that I'm trying to outshine your recovered memories, but…" and then I smoothly leaned closer and kissed him. The kiss was so sweet. Surprisingly so. It definitely took the crown as the best I ever had.
After I savored it I changed the mood and continued talking with a raised eyebrow. "You missed my first kiss, though plenty of others where there to witness it."
"Ah, you mean Road? You don't really count that do you?"
"No, not really. Once I realized what she was doing I barely stopped myself from tearing her apart."
"I would have."
"No doubt, Kanda." I sighed. "It was a tense situation. I went with the path of least resistance to getting our asses home."
"So then you're real first kiss would be with…" he guided.
"Lenalee." He looked as if I confirmed his suspicion.
"Why didn't that work out? Not that I'm complaining, of course."
"When all was said and done, she couldn't love me once I became a Noah."
He paused. "So you loved her?"
"Yes." I thought he might ask another question but he didn't, leaving me to fill the silence. "Perhaps we could have been together in another life. But not this one."
"Another life, huh? I'll advise you that having a second life isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"No? We'll see if we can change that for you." I said with a smile.
The clock tower chimed then, marking the end of the night. So just for the heck of it, I let the cherry blossom petals fall in a flurry of activity making us both laugh.
Then I joked that I wouldn't create a door for him until I got a kiss goodnight. He really does hate being at a disadvantage, even as a game, even when the toll is something he would have given me anyway, so in revenge he gave me what I asked for and then some.