Living the Dream Chapter 3, an instant star fanfic

Chapter 3

The drive to Toronto was a long one—over 9 hours. Thank goodness they had started driving as soon as the last show was done! Jude was glad that they had a chance to look around Chicago before the concert, because once the guys were done performing, they were all excited to get back on the road. Everyone was exhausted and had fallen asleep as soon as they loaded the buses at nearly midnight. They had been going nonstop for nearly 3 months, touring all over the US and Canada. Jude had loved seeing all of the amazing (and not so amazing) places, but was beyond ready to get back to her house..she couldn't wait to talk to her sister and Kwest, sleep in her own bed, get coffee from her favorite diner...the little things that she had missed while being away for so long. The buses and vans were about an hour from Toronto, and Jude was thrilled—she couldn't wait to sleep in her own bed.

At 7:00am, Jude had been awoken by Tommy's rendition of "Take me out to the Ball Game." The tour had spent an extra day in Chicago and she had spent the day touring the city with Tommy. Just before grabbing some food, the two had gone to Wrigley Field, where he had felt inspired to scream the song at the top of his lungs. During the second chorus he had stolen her phone and recorded himself, setting it as her ringtone. Thankfully, their conversation that morning had eased her annoyance at the obnoxious song. Tommy had called to see if she needed a ride home that morning when they got back. When she grumbled into the phone some unintelligible comment, he told her that he needed her help on a melody he couldn't get out of his head. Once he started humming said melody over the phone, Jude was up—his voice tended to do that to her. His music and his voice had this effect on her that, no matter where she was, when she heard it, Jude could only focus on him. Nonetheless, they had finally worked out the perfect melody and chord variations after an hour and hung up.

Jude smiled thinking about the song they had worked on. Though there were no lyrics yet, Tommy's intuition had been spot on and she knew that the song would be a hit if it were ever released—no matter what the words said. Jude though she should probably get up and ready before the Spied, Wally, and Kyle woke up and destroyed the bathroom. That was another thing Jude couldn't wait to get back home for—her own shower and a bathtub. Smiling at the thought, she rolled over in her bunk and grimaced at the slight pain. Jude forgot that she wasn't completely healed yet.

About ten days before, the tour had landed in San Francisco, California. The night before the concert, Jude and Tommy had gone to a local bar. He was frustrated with Chaz because, per usual, his bandmate didn't want to change anything about the Boyz Attack sound. Tommy had though about introducing a new song to the set list, and Chaz had flipped out. When Tommy had asked the guys to just listen and tell him what they though, Chaz had thrown the CD player on the floor of the bus and broken the CD, then throwing it back at Tommy. He, in turn, hit Chaz in the arm, but before things could escalate too much more, Jude had walked on the bus. She immediately saw the rage emanating off of her best friend, and, before another word could be spoken or punch thrown, dragged him off the bus. They had walked almost a mile before Tommy spoke a word.

"He just doesn't get it." he growled. "We look and sound like fools if we keep doing the same songs with the same lame-ass moves. I can't believe he would be so closed-minded...and he says he loves music!" Though he had cooled down slightly, Tommy was still riled up.

Jude could tell that he was frustrated—upset because he felt like his musical integrity was being questioned. She did the only thing she knew would calm him down. "I know Babe." She made him stop walking and put her hands on his arms, running them up and down slowly.

Tommy was taken aback by her simple statement, but when he looked at her, he knew she understood. "He just..."

Before he could get another word out, Jude put her hand over his mouth, stopping him. "I know. Chaz doesn't have a clue." She saw Tommy's eyes soften slightly and gave him a mischievous smile. "Now what do you say we go get drunk?"

Grabbing her hand, Tommy grinned and told her, "That sounds perfect." When Jude didn't move, he tugged her after him, saying "Well, let's go...we don't have time to waste!"

Hours later, Jude and Tommy were both drunk. They had just left their 3rd bar, and both were feeling their alcohol. Walking down the street to find a taxi to take them back to their hotel, Tommy saw a tattoo parlor and told Jude they should each get one. She was far enough gone that she agreed, so they quickly walked in. Tommy spoke with one of the artists and they quickly sketched out a scripted design. One of the other artists came up to Jude and asked what she wanted. Not sure what to do, Jude pulled out her trust notebook—she always carried it with her because you never know when inspiration would hit. The notebook opened to her most recent song, one she had kept hidden from Tommy. Jude knew that this is what she would get inscribed on her body.

Over the past few weeks, Jude's feelings for Tommy never wavered. If anything, they grew stronger. Over the course of the tour, the pair were always together—constantly joking around, making music, and never leaving the other's side. Tommy had been more and more "touchy" with her, always stroking her hair, peppering her with sweet kisses, and holding her hand. They had only spent a total of seven nights apart from eachother: once when Jude was sick, a couple of times when Tommy was sick, and the other times when Jude took care of SME when they were completely wasted—they were still learning how to handle their alcohol on tour.

It was in those feelings for Tommy that this song was born. She had started it a month ago, and had just finished it within the past couple of days. She was truly grateful for Tommy's friendship—regardless of it things between them would move forward, Jude knew that she would be lost without Tommy by her side. She had said it before and when say it again, Tommy was her rock. He was her anchor and guide in the craziness of her life. Because of that, Jude pulled out some of her favorite phrases and told the gal tattooing her exactly what she wanted.

Thus, the pain Jude was feeling. She had decided to place her piece of art on her pelvis, just below the line of her jeans. The area was still pretty sore, but she had been able to take the bandage off about a week ago. Jude After they had left the tattoo parlor, it had started to rain, and Tommy and Jude ran back to their hotel, only about six blocks. When they finally arrived, Tommy had stopped them just outside of the building and hugged Jude. She held him, careful of his newly tattooed arm, and sighed, breathing in his unique scent and embracing the moment.

"Thanks." Tommy held her a bit tighter and continued, "Only you would know exactly how to make me feel better. Thank you for taking care of me."

In that moment, Jude had been surprised. Tommy didnt' usually share his feelings like that; she attributed it to the alcohol and looked him in the eyes. Being that she was still a bit affected by their earlier drinking, she was overwhelmed and had a serious desire to kiss him. Before she could do anything though, he leaned down and connected his lips to hers. Despite the rain outside, Jude was filled with heat—one she had only experienced a couple of times before, all with him. She greedily asked permission to enter his mouth, which he immediately answered. Minutes later, they broke apart. Only then did she feel his erection pressing against her tattooed hip, and the pain registered. Not knowing how to handle the moment, she had looked at him with wide eyes and turned. Tommy didn't let her get away though, grabbing her arm and pulling her to his side. They didn't say a word, but walked into the hotel arm in arm. The rest of the night, nothing was said between them—Jude hadn't been sure if it was because she was trying to hold onto the moment or because they were confused, but pushed her questions aside and fell into bed beside him.

Now, over a week later, that kiss still hadn't been mentioned and she forever had the words "as the world keeps spinning round, you hold me right here right now" written on her. As she went into the small bathroom, Jude smiled at the words and how they looked on her. It may be crazy to have evidence of her love for Tommy permanently inscribed on her, but it was okay. They were also proof of their friendship, one that she wouldn't trade for the world. With that as her final though, Jude hopped in the shower, humming her song, and got ready for whatever the day would bring.

…

Finally, the two buses and van pulled into the G Major parking lot. It was nearly 10:00am, and everyone, roadies and technicians included, were ready for a break. Tommy got off the bus he shared with the rest of Boyz Attack and stretched, trying to work out all of the kinks he incurred while on the road.

He was completely stoked to be home. It may only be for a week, but being able to sleep in his own bed and spend time with Jude while not helping to set up a concert hall. He was excited to see Kwest too, but he couldn't wait to spend some real time with his girl. Just then, he saw her stepping off SME's bus. He didn't know it was possible to look that good after spending 3 months on the road and rooming with those boys. She was just in a long sleeve shirt that looked suspiciously like one of his, a pair of jeans, and her beat up black converse; but the way she was standing there, he forgot to breathe for a moment. She turned to him and smiled, and that just about knocked him off his feet. It was the slap on the back from Chaz that startled him to movement again. He smiled at the beaming girl across the lot and started unloading the bus.

Around noon, the buses and van were unloaded and everyone was heading their separate directions. Kwest and him were headed to a jewelry store, and Tommy knew what that meant: Kwest was proposing. Everyone had already been invited to the Harrison home—where Kwest lived too—for dinner tonight, and Tommy had expected this for a long time. Kwest and Sadie had been dating for about 5 years now, and he had moved into her and Jude's home a few years ago when their dad moved out for his promotion. To be honest, Tommy was surprised it hadn't happened sooner. Nonetheless, he was excited for his friends. Just because he hadn't found the girl that gave him butterflies or the one he could make music with or the one who just seemed to get him and fit with him didn't mean that he didn't still have hope. He knew that one day he would find that girl, it just hadn't happened yet—he was still searching for his other half.

Realizing how girlie his thoughts sounded, Tommy shook his head and looked out the window of Kwest's car. He was amazed to see that they had already spent twenty minutes in the car and they had arrived at the jewelry store. Walking in, Tommy shook hands with Angelo, the owner of the boutique. He had known Angelo for years, and they had a semblance of friendship. Every once in a while the two men would grab a beer or go dinner. While Kwest was waiting for his ring to be brought out, Tommy took a look around. As he was browsing the cases, he came across an amazing ring. It was a two and a half carat asscher cut diamond surrounded by onyx stones. The band was encircled by pave diamonds; in total, the ring was almost 3.5 carats. Tommy asked one of the associates to see the ring, and was speechless when he got to hold it in his hands. Angelo came over to him and told Tommy that he had found the ring at an estate sale over a decade ago—no one had even come close to buying it, but Angelo held onto it because he knew that someone would love it one day.

Kwest wondered over to his friend and looked at the ring in his hands. "Thinking of getting engaged, Tom? And can I ask who the lucky lady might be?"

Tom rolled his eyes at his friend. "You know I'm not dating anyone. But look at this ring, man. Its incredible!"

Kwest looked over Tommy's shoulder and saw the ring he was holding. "Well, its different..." He let the word trail off. The ring was certainly unique—but Kwest didn't know anyone who could appreciate it.

Tommy hit his friend on the arm. "Come on, Kwest! Can't you just see Jude wearing it? She would flip over this!" Tommy turned the ring in his hand once more and jerked his head up. "Angelo. How much is the ring?"

Kwest had been shocked by Tommy's words. Surprise was evident in his eyes and he shared a look with Angelo as he walked over to the two friends.

"Oh, this ring? Well, it would normally retail for nearly $100,000. The diamond is a very good cut, E color, and VVS1 clarity—in and of itself, it is a piece of art. But because we know eachother, and because you clearly have a special girl in mind, I can give you a better price. Give me a minute." Angelo went to the back room and grabbed some paperwork.

Meanwhile, Kwest looked at Tommy in shock. "What the hell are you doing? You can't buy Jude a ring if it isn't accompanied by a very specific question!"

"Why not? You know how great she it!" Tommy was thouroughly confused. "I'm not going to give it to her right now, but wouldn't it be great once she wraps her first album, or something. I mean, she has to have it. If any piece of jewelry is worthy of Jude, its this ring." Tommy didn't understand what the big deal was. Why couldn't he give the ring to Jude? She would totally love it. He would just put it aside and save it for the perfect time.

"Man, you just don't give a girl a ring when you aren't proposing."

"Whatever. I'm getting it. I'll give it to her some time." At that point, Angelo came out to the front of the store and handed Tommy the paperwork. He finished paying and boxed up the ring. With that, Kwest and Tommy walked back out to the car to head to the Harrison home. Stuart was coming into town for Kwest's proposal, and decided to spend some extra time with his girls. Tommy knew that Jude was super excited to see her dad, but she was anxious at the same time. She had always had an amazing relationship with her dad—even though there were some hard times amidst the divorce when she found out he was cheating. They talked on the phone once a week, but to be in the same house with him for a few days would be new—she hadn't done that in nearly three years.

...

A mile from Jude's house, Kwest pulled to the side of the road and stopped the car. Tommy was shocked, turned to his friend, and asked, "What's going on? Is the car okay?" Tommy had no clue why his friend would do this.

"Dude, I have to ask...did something happen between you and Jude on tour?" Kwest had been contemplating how to bring this up. He had seen the look Tommy gave to Jude when they got off the buses this morning. He had also talked to his friend a few times during the course of the tour. At least once during each phone call, Tommy had mentioned how amazing Jude was. And, Kwest couldn't seem to forget the time a couple of weeks ago when Tommy said something about the kiss under his breath. He had always known that Jude had feelings for Tommy, but lately, it seemed as though those feelings might be two-sided.

"What are you talking about?"

Kwest could see Tom's expression, and it certainly wasn't one of innocence. "I knew it! Something happened! What did you do?"

It took Tommy a minute to respond. "Honestly?"

…

How the hell was he supposed to answer that question? Kwest was one of his best friends...but he was also like a brother to Jude. Glancing at his friend, Tommy knew he had to tell what had happened—Kwest had that determined look in his eye.

"Well, you know how excited I was to come home. I missed you guys...I missed Toronto. I missed Jude." He said the last phrase more quietly, not embarrased for his feelings, but not sure how Kwest would respond.

"We all knew that, man. But there has to be more."

Tommy continued, "Right. But its more than that. I mean, yeah, I missed her, but..." Be paused again, but spoke again after a moment, "The first morning we were on tour, I had this dream. It was so real...like I could really feel everything that was happening. And then we had this kiss a few weeks ago in San Francisco. It was just so perfect, but that could have been the alcohol. I mean, we got tattoos that night, so we certainly weren't sober. But it was just so..."

Kwest's stunned expression gave evidence to his shock. His best friend had never talked like this before. He refocused on Tommy again as his friend continued.

"And how could I forget about her birthday."

At that, Kwest exclaimed, "What?"

"Well, we had a night off in New Orleans and so Jude thought it would be fun for everyone to go out. Its a big deal in the States to turn 21, so we thought it would be fun to have a bit of party. We all dressed up to go out—and damn did she look good in that dress." At that comment, Kwest glared at Tommy. Quickly, he moved on, "Anyways, SME made up put on this birthday crown, so everywhere we went, she got free drinks. Anyways, by the end of the night, she was a bit smashed. I was helping her get back to the hotel and she started to feel sick, so we stopped at this bench by the water. After a while, she told me that she loved me. I don't think she knew what she was saying, but then she gave me this look. I couldn't help but kiss her. And then she kissed back and we ended up making out for a while."

In reality, they had done more than make out. After Jude told him she loved him, he had been shocked. The funny thing was, when she said it, he almost said it back—and he never told anyone that he loved them. So instead, he kissed her. She had crawled on his lap, making him groan in delight. She felt so perfect sitting there, and then she started grinding into him. His erection had gotten even larger, and he wanted more. The noises she was making sounded like music to him, signaling that she was enjoying herself just as much. In a quick move, he flipped her over laid her down on the bench. Crawling in between her legs, they continued their kiss—tongues dueling, hands roaming. He saw a glimpse of her thigh as her dress crept up her leg, and he couldn't help but wanting to feel it. His hand found her thigh and his control was gone. He let his hand roam up her thigh to cup her ass, realizing that she wore a pair of lace boy shorts. He could imagine how perfect she would look in them—like that morning in Montreal. She pushed her center towards him, and the friction caused him to nearly come at that moment. Barely able to breathe because of their continued liplock, Jude had pulled away for a moment. The brief separation was enough to startle them to the reality of the situation, and they quickly righted themselves—sitting up, smoothing their clothes. Without another word, they had walked back to the hotel. The rest of the night, barely a word was spoken between the two. She had ended up falling asleep in his room, wrapped in his arms, and they had continued on the next day as if nothing had happened. That's how the rest of the tour had been—until the night in San Francisco, that is.

A smack on the shoulder brought Tommy out of his memory, and he looked at Kwest. "What the hell was that for?"

"You were lost in a memory...one I don't think I want to hear about." The guilty look on Tommy's face was enough to convince Kwest. Before he thought too much about it, he asked, "So, what does this mean?"

"I don't know? I missed her so much while I was in New York. But you know me. I'm not a relationship kind of guy, right? Besides, what Jude and I have is special—I can literally tell her anything. I mean, she even gets my music, man! I think we were both just a bit lonely, and acted out because of that. She'll always be my number one though...you know that." After another pause, Tommy slapped Kwest's shoulder and said, "Let's go, dude. Your soon-to-be fiance is waiting."

Kwest had no response, so just put the car in drive and continued toward their girls' homes.

…

Later that night, five surrounded the dinner table in the Harrison home. Stuart sat at one of the head's of the table, Jude sat next to Tommy, and Sadie sat next to Kwest. Conversation had been flowing constantly: Jude and Tommy were regaling the others with tour stories—there were many because of the crazy antics of Spied, Wally, and Kyle. Sadie and Kwest shared about G Major news, and Stuart told them all about his recent girlfriend, Anna. Dinner had finished and the five were getting ready for dessert. Stuart went into the kitchen to grab the berry cobbler he had made, and smiled at the thought of the evening. He could see how happy Sadie and Kwest were. Stuart was thrilled that Kwest moved into the house when he had been transferred a few years ago. He could see how well the young man took care of his oldest daughter. Jude had shared her news of being a recording artist, and he was thrilled that she had the opportunity. He had always known his younger daughter was amazingly talented, but to finally have the chance to do what she loved was wonderful. Stuart was also grateful for Tommy. He knew the boy held a special place in Jude's life, and he was glad that he had moved back to Toronto, especially knowing that Kwest would be proposing tonight.

Stuart put the dirty dishes into the sink and grabbed the dessert and plates. Heading back into the dining room, he placed the items on the table and smiled at his girls. Somewhere deep inside, he knew that this would be his family—Sadie and Kwest, Jude and Tommy, maybe him and Anna. Seeing the nervousness in Kwest's expression, Stuart knew that it was time. He hopped back in the kitchen to grab the champagne and set it on the table, knowing it would come in handy. Giving Kwest a smile, he nodded to the young man, encouraging him to continue.

Kwest took a deep breath and stood up. Stuart barely paid attention to the short speech his to-be son-in-law was giving, instead looking at the bright smile and shining eyes on Sadie's face. Had he looked at Jude, he would see the superficial smile hiding the panic and anxiety she had. He also would have seen the way that, when Tommy put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him, she relaxed a small amount.

A few moments later, the engagement was official, champagne was popped, and the happy couple couldn't stop smiling. Stories were being shared about them, and Stuart knew that this was a marriage that would last.

…

Jude was still in shock. She knew that Kwest was going to propose to her sister. To be honest, she was surprised that he hadn't done it sooner. But, as selfish as it was, she was sad. Jude knew that, when she got back from the Europe/Asia tour, she would have to find a place. And on top of that, she was alone. No, Jude didn't mean to be dramatic, but that is how she felt. Sadie and Kwest had eachother, her dad had a new girlfriend and didn't live in the area anyways, Wally and Kyle lived together and spent all of their time together, Spied had a new girlfriend that he seemed to spend all of his time with...and that left Tommy. Sure, the two of them spent all of their time together, but he would never care for her the way she cared for him. In realty, Jude didn't think she would care for anyone he way she loved Tommy.

Still, she was excited for Sadie and Kwest. Anyone could see how happy they were...how happy they made eachother. The feeling of a strong arm wrapping itself around her instantly comforted her. She looked at Tommy and smiled. He seemed to know exactly what she needed. And he knew in that moment that she needed him.

Jude couldn't imagine herself getting married. Not that she didn't want to—she couldn't wait to wear a white dress and have her man waiting for her at the end of the aisle. The problem was that she didn't think the man she wanted would ever want to marry her. In all the time Jude had ever imagined herself getting married, she had only ever seen one man waiting for her. Before she could get anymore upset, Jude pushed those thoughts aside and shared in the story telling.

Hours later, Jude waved to her father as he left for his hotel. Wanting to give Sadie and Kwest time to celebrate in their own way, Jude had asked Tommy if she could stay at his house. He had gladly agreed and they had just packed a bag for her to bring over. She had told Kwest and Sadie that once they returned from tour, she would find herself an apartment. They were quick to tell her she was welcome to live with them. But Jude was convinced that this would be good. She was a 21 year-old soon-to-be part-time recording artist/amazing producer, it was time for her to get her own place.

…

It was Friday, then end of the weeklong break from the world-wide tour, and Tommy was waiting for Kwest to come over. Tomorrow he would be leaving with his bandmates, Jude, and SME, and this was his last chance to have some "man-time" with his longest friend. The week had been crazy. Sadie had been in "Wedding Planning Mode" full force—making everyone be a part of things; Chaz had been trying to get him to go out and find women; Darius had been on his back making sure he was ready to take over the studio in a few months. And, to top it all off, Tommy hadn't gotten any time with Jude because she was spending time at the studio at nights after wedding planning with Sadie. He had seriously been looking forward to relaxing with Jude this week, but that had barely happened. It was funny, for two years Tommy hadn't gotten to spend so much time with her, but now that he had, he couldn't get enough.

Hearing the knock at the door, Tommy grabbed the extra beer from the kitchen counter. He opened the door and let Kwest in with a "Hey Buddy!" and a slap on the back. "Come, sit." Kwest grabbed his beer from Tommy and followed him to the living room.

Kwest asked about the bag in the corner, thinking it looked like Jude's. Tommy nodded, telling him that she had crashed at his place a couple of nights to give him and Sadie some space.

"Where else is she sleeping? She hasn't been home all week?" Kwest was truly curious. The only time he had seen Jude all week was when she was helping to put together wedding details.

"What do you mean? I thought that she was at your place. I mean, I know she was going to the studio, but what about after that?" Now Tommy's curiosity was getting the best of him. He had been lamenting about how he rarely saw Jude this week, and to hear that she wasn't home had him confused. In addition, Tommy remembered the first night they were home and how Jude had been yelling, "Don't leave me!" in her sleep.

"I think she was going over to the guy's rehearsal space. They have a whole room set up at the back, and they let her stay there every now and then."

"How come she never said anything? Why wouldn't she tell me? Better yet, why didn't she just stay here?"

"I don't know, man." Kwest wondered why his friend was so bent out of shape about where Jude was staying. "Let's get to the game." With that, they turned on the television, talking every now and then, but truly enjoying each others' company. However, Tommy's thoughts were on Jude, and why she didn't stay with him more.

…

Jude was spending her last free night in the studio—again. She had spent every night that week here, in studio C, writing and playing. After her sister had gotten engaged earlier that week, she had felt a sense of loss. She felt out of place and alone. Jude knew that she had friends and family who would be there, but for the first time, she really craved having a significant other right now. She wished that she had a home to go to with someone waiting just to see her.

The first night they were back, after the engagement, Jude had gone over to Tommy's to crash. They had played cards for hours, with games of "I Never" and "Truth or Dare" mixed in. After a few hours, they were exhausted, but content. Though they knew all of the major events in each other's lives, it was a fun way to find out random little details. They had put a movie on in Tommy's room—his room had a 42-inch widescreen HDTV—and Jude had fallen asleep wrapped in Tommy's arms. That night, she had a dream that threw her completely off balance.

She had been getting ready in a small room, wearing a white dress and with bare feet. Her sister had been there too, in a wonderful blue sundress that showed off a growing belly. A knock on the door signaled that it was time. Sadie led the way out, and the girls met their father in the hallway. The three walked to a magnificent set of double doors: old, weathered, and majestic. Sadie opened the door first, walking through and down the aisle to beautiful music. Stuart opened one of the doors after a moment, putting his elbow out for Jude to grab. They walked down the aisle, and it wasn't until then that Jude realized she was getting married. Melodic sounds were coming from the piano in the corner, and a dashingly handsome man was waiting at the end of the aisle for her. Finally, Jude and Stuart arrived to meet her prince, and, after a kiss on the cheek from her father, Jude turned to her man. It was him who lifted her veil, and it was then that she saw her best friend standing in front of her.

Butterflies filed her chest, and a sweet smile graced her face. Tommy interlocked their fingers, and led her to the alter to be married. It came down to the final "I Dos," and Jude looked at him. When he didn't say anything, she was confused. Her heart dropped and her big blue eyes got even larger with fright and anxiety.

Tommy looked back at her and simply said, "Jude, I can't. You are my best friend, but you know it isn't more than that." He took one of her hands and brought it to his face, kissing her palm. "And by the way, I have to go for a bit. Maybe we'll talk later though." At his last words, Tommy started fading from her sight. As if that wasn't enough, all of her family and friends started disappearing as well, one by one out of sight.

"Don't leave me! Don't leave me!" Jude's cries rang through the small chapel, sobs distorting her words slightly, but it didn't seem to do any good. She had woken up with Tommy shaking her, asking what was wrong. Realizing that it had all been a dream, Jude blinked a few times to clear her head and told him that she was fine, "It was just a dream." She knew he wouldn't believe her, so to cut off any further questions, Jude had gone down to his kitchen for some hot tea. When she came back to his room, he was nearly asleep, and when she crawled in next to him, he hugged her close. Jude had fallen into a restless sleep, but had gone to the SME's rehearsal space first thing that morning to think.

She knew that she loved Tommy, that was a fact. The problem was that she felt like she was getting too attached. She missed him whenever he wasn't around, and felt a sense of emptiness when he wasn't next to her. Jude knew that something had to change. That morning, sitting in the rehearsal space, Jude had decided that she had to separate herself from Tom Quincy.

And to be honest, the week had gone well, at least from other peoples' perspective. Jude, however, felt more lonely than ever. To process through some of her feelings, she had spent every evening in Studio C at G Major. Spied had shown up that first day and, after a lengthy jam session, told her to use the rehearsal space whenever she needed. Throughout the week, her time was filled with wedding planning—looking at dresses and flowers and cakes and themes. It made her that much more envious of Sadie, and that much more lonely.

So here she was, the last night before flying to Europe—London, to be exact—and she was sitting in the studio, alone. She started humming Alone, the Heart song from the 80s. And it was true, nights went by slowly when she wasn't with Tommy. She had always been independent, but it never mattered until Tommy came into her life. Jude thought about how, once Tommy showed up, her world was turned upside down. He would be forever in her heart, and, if she was lucky, she would be in the shadow of his heart. That phrase had stuck out at her, and away her mind went. A few hours later, she played what she thought the final version of the song would be.

A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

Jude sat back once she had finished and took a deep breath—maybe this would help to put away some of her feelings. She was ready to get back on the road with all of the guys. Jude promised herself that she wouldn't let herself get even more attached to Tommy. She had to create some distance in order to protect herself. Nonetheless, she wanted to show her newest song to Tommy. He didn't know how intimately he influenced her music, and, to be honest, she trusted him the most to give her honest opinions. She gathered her stuff and was ready to go to Tommy's. With any luck, she would find him not asleep and willing to listen. She knew Kwest was going over there earlier, she hoped she wouldn't be interrupting their "male-bonding" time. Jude grabbed her bag and put her guitar aside—she would pick it up tomorrow—and turned to leave the studio.

She opened the door, and was completely shocked. After a minute, she turned and went back in the studio. Tears were rolling down her face as she closed the door behind her and locked it. She sank to the floor, put her head in her hands, and sobbed. Nearly an hour later, she grabbed her things again and escaped the studio. Thankfully, the coast was clear, and she ran the whole way to what was her childhood home, but would not be hers for much longer.

…

Tommy listened to Jude sing and play what must be her newest song. She hadn't told him anything about it yet, but she may not have had a chance. He decided to go in, but wanted to wait until she was done—he could tell she was still on the first verse. A noise behind him made Tommy turn around. He saw Angie—someone he never thought would come across his path again. Angie was an ex-girlfriend. He had cheated on his prior girlfriend with her, but, in the end, they had been together for nearly a year—she was the one girl Tommy could say he was close to loving. But, he found out that she was cheating on him with one of the roadies Boyz Attack had, and on top of that, she had started drinking constantly and using coke. Just before leaving the band, Tommy broke things off with her. A few years ago he found out that she went to rehab to get clean, but beyond that, he didn't care. Seeing her standing before him was overwhelming and surprising.

"Angie?" he questioned. He stepped towards her a few feet as if to make sure she was real.

"Hey Baby," she slurred. "I've been in town for a few weeks to see you and finally found you." She stepped closer to him, making the distance between them only about a foot. Reaching her hand out, she caressed his arm. "I've missed you, Baby."

"Angie, what are you doing here?" A miniscule part of Tommy was excited to see the woman standing before him, but the majority was confused. Why would she search him out after all that time?

"Baby, I told you...I missed you! I've changed and things are different now." She grabbed Tommy in a tight embrace, of which he quickly freed himself.

"Things aren't different now, Ang. We've moved on; we're different people." He knew she was lying, he could smell the alcohol on her breath. Tommy was ready to go back to Studio C to see his girl, but was grabbed again by the woman from his past.

She turned him to face her, grabbed his face, and pulled him into a deep kiss. In his surprise, Tommy's mouth as open to protest, and Angie used that to her advantage, shoving her tongue in his mouth. In that moment, he was overtaken with the memory of what it had been like to be with her and kissed her back. When she sensed that, Angie pulled him even closer, wrapping her arms around him. Tommy held the back of her head, controlling her movement slightly, continuing the kiss.

Angie moaned in his mouth, always having loved the way he kissed her. The sound startled Tommy so completely that he ceased all movement. Realizing that the woman he held in his arms was not the one he cared about, he quickly stepped away. "Angie, what the hell was that?"

Not waiting for an answer, Tommy grabbed Angie's arm and dragged her toward the door. "You need to leave...now. I've moved on, and this is not okay." Tommy was completely shaken and still trying to process what had happened. He knew Jude was in the Studio, and for some reason, after kissing Angie, he felt like he was cheating on his girl. Regardless of how right or wrong that statement felt, Tommy knew that kissing Angie wasn't right. They were long done, and he would never be able to be with her again—she was a cheater and a liar.

Finally getting Angie out the door, he went back to Studio C to talk to Jude. But the closer he got to the door, the more clearly he could hear the sobs from the other side. His heart sank, and he wanted nothing more than to go in there, grab Jude, and tell her that everything would be alright. He knew she was having a hard time adjusting to the fact that her sister was engaged and she would be moving. On top of that, her whole life would be changing soon—she was going to record her own music. Tommy knew that was a lot for anyone to handle, he just hoped that she hadn't seen the little issue that had just happened with Angie. Sighing, Tommy tried the door and quickly realized it was locked. His chest ached as he listened to his best friend cry her eyes out. Nearly thirty minutes later, Jude had not moved from her place and Tommy decided to go home. He hoped she would come to his house for the night—he would be waiting with open arms. Turning from his station by the door, he walked out of G Major and quickly drove home.

…

Early the next morning, Sadie and Kwest found Jude sitting at the counter in the kitchen of their childhood home. She was drinking a cup of coffee and staring into the backyard with a blank face. After the couple had stood there for a while and still had no response from Jude, Sadie walked to her and rubbed her back.

Jude was startled by the sudden contact, and turned to her sister, "Oh, hey." Her voice was low and scratchy, and the redness on her face gave evidence to her tears. Her gaze quickly drifted back to her coffee.

Sadie was startled by her sister's look. Sure, Jude didn't really take care of herself when she was younger, but the past few years she had matured and truly come into her own. This side of Jude was a rarity that usually only came out when she was sick. "What's wrong, hon?"

Looking lost and confused, Jude glanced up from her coffee cup and simply said, "I love him." That solitary statement caused the tears to start rolling again. Sadie quickly locked her arms around her baby sister and held her close.

"Tell me what's going on," Sadie whispered.

That was all it took and Jude told Sadie and Kwest everything that she was feeling. She told them how much she cared for Tommy, how hard it was not to love him when he did sweet things for her. She told them about the kisses—one of which Kwest really knew about. She also confessed the wedding dream that had plagued her sleep, and the song she wrote the night before. She told them about the strange woman from the studio last night, and how her heart literally ached at the memory of their lips locked.

Surprisingly, the whole explanation only took twenty or so minutes, but they were some of the most emotional moments of Jude's life thus far. In a way, she felt like a weight had been lifted—it was freeing to confess the feelings she had hidden for so long. But, admitting to her love of Tommy also meant that Jude had to acknowledge how real those feelings were.

Sadie looked helplessly at Kwest, not sure how to help her baby sister who had never before seemed as lost as she did in that moment. She continued rubbing Jude's back, whispering words of encouragement and love; beyond that, there wasn't much she could do.

After another ten minutes of sweet words and simple contact, and Jude sat up. It was as if a switch had flipped, and she had decided to move on. She looked at Sadie with a small smile, drank the last sips of her coffee, and stood up. "Forget this! I am not going to spend the next three months being mopey and sad. We are going to some amazing places, and I am going to enjoy myself. I just can't let myself get too attached. I have to create a bit of distance, that's all." Jude got a determined look in her eye, and turned toward the stairs. "I'm gonna get ready, I have to be at the studio in..." she looked at the clock by the stove and shrieked, "ah! I have to be at the Studio in 40 minutes, and it takes twenty to get there. I'll say bye before I leave." The last part of her sentence floated to the kitchen from her place running up the stairs.

Sadie knew how independent Jude tended to be, and wasn't sure if her resoluteness was a way for her to regain control of the situation or how she really felt. She walked to her fiance and put her arm around him. "What are we going to do with them?"

Kwest kissed Sadie's forehead and shook his head. "I don't know. Why can't they admit how perfect they would be together? Hell, why can't they admit that there is more there than friendship?" Turning Sadie to face him, Kwest finished the conversation by saying, "Oh well...that's their problem. Let me make you some breakfast and then we'll say goodbye to Jude."

"You, my dear, have the perfect suggestion."

The two busied themselves in the kitchen and continued with their morning.

…

Hours later, the men of Boyz Attack, the boys of SME, Jude, and two other roadie/technicians boarded a flight for London, England. Jude sat in between the window and Spied, wanting to keep her distance from Tommy. Let the next adventure begin, she thought to herself.

Jude's tattoo lyrics are from Lucky, by Jason Mraz, feat. Colbie Calliat

Jude's songs from the studios are Alone, by Heart and Cosmic Love, by Florence and the Machine