Author's Note: Sorry I haven't been updating that often… I was sick :( It won't happen again! I promise, even though I have almost no control over that fact.

Disclaimer: Breaking News! Suzanne Collins gave imawesomerthanyou16 The Hunger Games in her will! But wait, the will just blew up! Maybe next time, imawesomerthanyou16.

R-i-i-i-p! I spit and scream furiously as Eniavay, a woman with a clean shaven head and no eyebrows, pulls out my body hair with her teeth.

"My precious… My precious…" she says. Creep.

"Oh no! This is the last one!" Eniavay cries, breaking my thoughts. She bites and rips the hair out.

I've been in the Hellhole for over 1 minute, and I still haven't met my stylist. Where could that idiot be? He was supposed to be here in 3 hours…

In the absence of my incredibly stupid stylus, I mean stylist, these other morons have prepared to eat me. I'm on a spit, while Laviusfay tries to light a fire. Then my stylist barges in. His badge says yacannI. I figure it's upside down.

"Finally! These psychopaths were trying to eat me!"

"OOOH. That gave me an idea! Your costume will be… ROAST CHICKEN! But before that, let's eat."

"Ok! What's on the menu?"

"You."

"ARRRGH! I run towards the exit, breaking the incredibly strong bonds that hold me to the spit. I'm almost away, but I trip on a ladybug, crash and burst into flames.

"Good! Now put this on." Innacay says. He shoves a chicken costume on me and I fall out the window.

"ARRRGH!" I scream. I land on a chariot with Peeta in it. He's obviously in the same predicament, except he's finished the twitching and is now in rigor mortis. He's fine. The doctors will fix him.

The crowd initial cheer at our appearance quickly changes into disinterest, falling for the other districts. I give them the finger. Someone throws a black cat at me.

"Here's your cousin Jackie!"

"I'm not Jackie!"

"Oh. Here's Jackie's cousin someone!"

"That's so racist!"

"I know, I'm from a racist book."

"This dialogue is too long."

"Yup."

"We should end this."

"You're breaking up with me?"

"Uh… Sure?"

"WAHH!"

Suddenly, the crowd starts shouting KATNISSKATNISSKATNISS.

"What?"

"YOUREUGLYYOUREUGLYYOUREUGLY"

WELL

We eventually get away from the scene. I'm about to leave, when Peeta says, "Help me up!"

"No! You're dead! It says so in chapter 5, line 21-22. Unless you count the bold text, which I don't. So there!" I shove him into a random oven and shut the door. Expertly, I punch a code. Hehehe.

I know that everyone makes promises about how they'll give you something if you click a certain button. But they never give it to you. Well you know what I say? Cookies are right…

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HERE!