Chapter 7
Jude stepped into the cold and gratefully accepted her jacket from the handsome man standing behind her. "Mmm, thanks Babe. Its freezing out here." She turned to smile at him. "I guess this is goodbye, huh?" Tonight, she would be going over to Sadie's for her last night at a "single woman." Though Portia, the other bridesmaid, couldn't come tonight, it would be a fun night for the sisters to share. The only thing that bummed Jude out was that spending the night with Sadie, she wouldn't be at Tommy's. The past week she had some to see Tommy's place as home. She would miss their nightly ritual of TV or a movie in his bed and chatting about their day. Knowing that this was her chance to say goodbye, she pulled Tommy into a tight hug. "I'm gonna miss you tonight. Watching a movie with Sadie just won't be the same if I'm not in your comfy bed."
She could feel him hold her more tightly, "Well, you could both come to my bed, Babes. I would be okay with that...the three of us could have some fun." He pulled back from her a smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.
Classic Tommy, Jude thought. Hitting him on the arm, she told him, "You are such a perv! Stop it!" After hitting him, she lost her balance and nearly fell off of the curb. Thankfully, her knight in shining armor was there to save her, grabbing her around the waist and bringing her upright again.
He placed a kiss on her forehead, telling her, "Babes, did you have too much to drink?"
The knowing look he gave her told Jude he knew she might have had one glass of wine too many. "I might have had an little much, but I'm not wasted!" she exclaimed.
"I know, Hon; but I do think you are a bit tipsy."
"That's probably true. But it doesn't change that I'll miss you." Jude was surprised at how much this was affecting her. She was excited to spend time with Sadie, but she would truly miss having Tommy next to her.
"I'm gonna miss you too. Kwest and James won't look near as pretty in my bed." The smile he gave her was one of sincerity, and Jude knew that he was probably feeling a bit more than his words might let on.
Pulled out of Tommy's grasp by someone grabbing her arm, Jude was startled at the interruption. The harsh words of her sister further invaded her senses, "Jude, come on! We have to get back to the house so we can start having fun. Now let's go!"
Under her breath so only Tommy could hear, Jude commented, "Because heaven forbid we have fun before then." Glaring at him as he began to chuckle, she rolled her eyes. "Well, I guess this is adios. See you in the morning?"
"You know it, Sweets." He gave her one more hug, "I'll be ready and waiting with coffee in hand."
"Oh, you know how to make a girl smile. You're the best." Jude's heart smiled at the thought of seeing him in the morning with coffee. She wasn't sure what she would would be more happy to see—him or the coffee? As much as Jude loved her coffee, especially knowing that Sadie didn't have any around since becoming pregnant, the answer was easy. Tommy would win every time.
"Try to have fun with Sadie, okay?"
"I will. You're the best. You know that, right?" She gave him a quick peck—one that was meant to be on the cheek, but when he turned his head slightly, Jude caught Tommy on the edge of his mouth. As much as she knew that it was wrong, it felt perfect to kiss him. Things between them felt so right tonight.
As Sadie pulled her away to the car, Jude thought back on the rehearsal. Things had gone well, everyone knew where they were supposed to be; Jude knew that the ceremony would be perfect. Her dad had cried during the whole thing, and she hoped he had gotten most of his tears out that night. Nonetheless, she was excited that he was able to get back in time for the wedding. A business trip had called him away a few weeks ago, and he told the girls he would make sure he was back. But Jude had concerns that he would be able to make it. Thankfully, he had flown in that morning, and she had picked him up at the airport with Tommy.
From the rehearsal, the group had moved on to dinner. The night had been full of sweet moments, especially between Tommy and her. They had a few glasses of wine, and it had made Jude extra emotional. All through dinner, she had been sitting next to Tommy, almost in his lap for most of the night. They had whispered jokes to each other—commenting on diners they saw at the restaurant, laughing at Sadie and how compulsive she was, making fun of the sappy faces Kwest was giving Sadie.
They had been surrounded by other couples all night long, so naturally, they acted more like a couple than usual. Tommy was ever the gentleman—opening doors, pulling out her chair, getting her a drink, ordering for her, always keeping her close. At some points, Tommy had gotten a little touchy, grabbing her ass, but it had felt so normal to Jude, that she hadn't commented on it. While they were waiting to be seated, the pair had even swayed to the background music. It had been a night full of sweet kisses, wonderful moments, small hugs, and, if she was being honest, lots of love. Jude knew that Tommy may not feel the same, but at the end of the night, anyone looking at the pair would have thought they were together. Some part of her knew that she was living in a fantasy world tonight, but she liked pretending for one night that this was real.
Before she could contemplate the night further, the car was stopped and Sadie was yelling for her to come inside. They had arrived at her childhood home, and the night of fun was supposed to begin. Changing into some comfy pajamas, the sisters sat in front of the fireplace, a cup of tea in hand.
Sadie had been going over the last minute details for the wedding for the last hour. But Jude had enough. "Sades, stop talking about the wedding. Tomorrow you are getting married. Are you excited?"
The smile the graced Sadie's face was brilliant. "Seriously, Jude, I can't wait! I'm so excited to be Mrs. Kwest Taylor...it's been such a long time coming! I mean, we've been together for like, five years. It's about time!"
Her excitement was contagious, and the two talked a bit more about marriage. Sadie told her plans for the honeymoon—the newly married couple would be heading off to Aruba for a week. Eventually, Sadie asked, "What's going on with you and Tommy, Jude? I noticed how close you guys were tonight."
By now, the alcohol had worn off and Jude sighed. She wasn't surprised at her sister's question, in some way she had been expecting it. A moment later, she responded, "Nothing has changed. We're still best friends, I still love him. Really, there isn't much else to it."
"Jude, you have to at least try to move on."
"I know, Sadie. I know. It's not like I'm trying to stay in love with the guy who won't love me. I just haven't exactly had time to meet lots of guys in the past couple of weeks." Her frustration was evident.
"I know. Once we get back from our honeymoon, Kwest and I will help you find someone. It'll be okay, you'll see." Sadie pulled her sister close, "Have you tried writing about it, that usually helps, right?"
Jude smiled at her sister's suggestion. She was right, writing always helped in the past, but this time, it hadn't gotten rid of her feelings. Jude told her sister to stay put while she grabbed her guitar. "It's funny you should mention that. I tried to do that earlier this week, but, it hasn't really worked yet. Tell me what you think..." With that, Jude started strumming on her guitar and began singing.
Take time to realize,
That your warmth is. Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you
If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.
Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by.. Didn't I tell you
But I can't spell it out for you,
no its never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.
If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.
It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it to.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.
If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realized what I just realized
missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now
When she finished, Jude looked up at her sister trying to gauge her reaction. When no response came, she broke down and asked, "Well, what do you think?"
"Jude, that's... I'm speechless. That was amazing."
"Thanks. Now if only the song would have worked and I could forget about him, huh?" Jude laughed a bit, trying to brush off the frustration she still felt.
Sadie grabbed her arm, pulling her off the couch. "Forget him for tonight. Let's just go upstairs and sleep. I need to be at my best for tomorrow. We'll sleep and then tomorrow starts day one of 'Get Jude a Man'."
Again, Jude laughed, but followed her sister up the stairs. "You changed the sheets, right?"
"Of course! Now, its bed time, because tomorrow I get married!"
While Sadie fell asleep right away, Jude lay in bed for a few more hours. She thought more of Tommy and more about the 'what ifs' of their relationship...or lack thereof. Maybe one day she really would be okay...eventually. With that thought in mind, she finally fell asleep.
…
Grabbing a beer out of the fridge for himself, Tommy then tossed one to Kwest and James. He went over to the couch and made himself comfortable. "So, Kwest, are you excited for tomorrow?"
With a dreamy look on his face, Kwest responded, "You know it man. I seriously can't wait to be married."
"Well, I'm excited for you, even if I don't get it, I can tell it's right for you. It has been a long time coming...five years?"
"Yeah, it's about time! I am pretty stoked. But what about you, man?"
Before Tommy could answer, James jumped in asking, "Yeah Tom, when are you getting engaged?"
Surprised, Tommy looked at Kwest and James in confusion. "What do you mean, engaged? I'm not getting engaged." What was James talking about?
"What about Jude? You guys were so cozy and cuddly tonight. And my little bro told me you bought her an engagement ring. Don't rings usually mean engagement?"
Tommy wasn't sure how to respond. Shaking his head, he asked, "What are you talking about? Kwest? I didn't buy Jude an engagement ring." Why would Kwest say that?
"I didn't say engagement ring. I told him you bought her a ring...no engagement." Kwest slapped his brother on the arm, "Listen, man."
James' eyes were wide with shock. "Wait, let me see if I understand this. You bought Jude a ring. But you aren't proposing. In fact, you aren't even dating. Did I get that?"
"Yeah. Is that so strange? She's my best friend, and I know that she'll love it." Tommy still didn't understand what the big deal was. The ring screamed JUDE, why the hell wouldn't he get her something that made him think of her?
"Dude, you bought the girl a ring." The look he was giving Tommy made him feel like he was missing something. Seeing the confusion plastered on Tommy's face, James asked, "Well, can I at least see the ring?"
Tommy got a giant smile on his face. "Hang on, let me grab it." With that, he literally ran up the stairs and went to his office to grab Jude's present. Bringing it back down to the guys, he opened the little black box that encased it, showing it off to the two men with him. Their eyes were wide in surprise at the sight of the beautiful and sparkling piece of jewelry.
James asked one more time, "Are you sure you aren't getting engaged?"
Throwing his hands up, Tommy's eyebrows rose in confusion and frustration. "Seriously guys, you have to explain why this is such a big deal. I don't get it, but obviously this is a crazy idea to give this to Jude. Lay it out for me." Tommy took a seat on the coffee table and faced his two friends, ready for their explanation.
Kwest looked at his brother and then looked back at his best friend. "Dude, you're giving her a ring. And it isn't just some cheap piece of junk. This is an incredible and unique engagement ring that cost nearly $100K. You don't just give that to a friend you have no romantic feelings for."
"It's true, man. There has to be more to it for you to give her a ring because it made you think of her." James looked at Tommy questioningly, as if expecting him to respond.
Tommy did just that. "Well, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't just give her a ring after recording one day."
"So, when would you give it to her? Why are you going to give her the ring?"
"I want to give it to her because she's amazing. She is so talented and so incredible. She has this passion that if completely infectious—and not just in music, but in life! She always wants to be the best, and she makes me want to be the best. I've never had anyone who expected to much from me because she thought I could actually do it. She is literally the only one who can make me smile and laugh on a crappy day. She is the first one I want to call when something amazing happens." Tommy paused for a moment, trying to gather some of his thoughts. Closing his eyes, he thought about Jude and smiled. Unintentionally, he continued talking, "She's always there for me, no matter what. I want that ring to be a symbol that I'll always be there for her too." Opening his eyes and looking at Kwest, Tommy said, "No offense, Kwest, but she is the best thing that ever happened to me." He shrugged after finishing his ramblings. Every word he said had been true, and it felt kind of nice to get it all off his chest. But now, he didn't know where to go. What else do you say?
A laugh from James interrupted his musings. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing. I was just thinking that everything you just said was exactly how I felt about my wife before I proposed. Not that I'm suggesting anything, but its just interesting."
"Now that you say it, James, that's how I felt about Sadie too. Funny."
"You aren't serious; I mean, you can't be, right?" The smiles on their faces made it more than obvious that they were, in fact, serious. Shaking his head, another question came to Tommy. Lately he had been especially curious about the idea of marriage. He still didn't understand what the point was, and hopefully, these men would help it all to make sense. "Can I ask you something?" At Kwest and James' nods, he asked what he was desperate to know. "Why marriage?"
Kwest looked at him like he was crazy, but answered anyways. "I think that its about finding your soul mate. I know that I want Sadie next to me every moment of my future. She is amazing—not just because of who she is but because of who she makes me."
"But why get married? Why do you want to make it some legally binding thing?" Kwest had done nothing to answer Tommy's questions.
"Let me finish, Tom." Smiling and shaking his head, Kwest continued anyway. "Its more than that. Part of it is a security thing, I think. I want the world to know that Sadie is mine. No other man is allowed to look at her like that because she is mine now. I also think that its such a symbol of commitment. By saying our vows tomorrow, I know that Sadie is serious about committing her life to me—and I'm going to commit my life to her. Everything I do is because I want to make sure she is happy and taken care of. Does that make any sense?"
Before Tom could answer, James jumped in with his agreement. "Yeah! I totally think part of it is that whole possessive thing. But it is such a symbol too. I love that I am so devoted to my girl that I am her husband. I have literally given myself to her for the rest of our lives. I guess that some people don't look at marriage like its such a big deal, but to me it is. I definitely look at it as a lifelong commitment. The legal side of it just makes it official."
Tommy couldn't say anything, because there were no words. He was deep in thought, the words of his friends weighing heavy on his mind. Everything they said rang true. Barely acknowledging the other two men in his place, Tommy began to walk up the stairs to his room. As an afterthought, he called over his shoulder, "I'm off to bed, guys. The spare rooms are made up with fresh sheets and extra blankets and towels are in the hall closet. Holler if you need anything." Finally reaching his room, Tommy got ready for bed on autopilot. He was still processing their words, unable to find any sort of resolution.
Kwest and James had put into words everything he felt about Jude. Even the things they had said about wanting others to know that their girls were taken was right on. As much as he didn't like to admit it, Tommy felt that way about Jude sometimes. When they were on tour and random guys would come up and talk to her, he always felt the need to go after her and knock those other guys out. There were even times when Jude would hang out with the guys of SME that Tommy would want to lay his claim on her, making sure they realized that she was the best and it was his job to take care of her.
What Kwest had said about making Sadie happy was true for Tommy as well. He loved making Jude smile just as much as he loved the fact that she could make him smile. He wanted to take care of her and make sure she had the best—she deserved it. She deserved everything.
As he continued to work his way through the muddled thoughts, the only thing that he was unsure of was the commitment issue. While he didn't feel the need to have an official commitment from Jude, he was convinced that she would always be there for him. But he would always be there for her too. The more he thought about it, he was truly happy when he knew that she was happy. And if he could make sure that she would always be filled with joy, he would consider his life worth something.
But when it came down to it, did these thoughts mean that he loved Jude...as more than his best friend? The more he contemplated, the more Tommy thought that his feeling for Jude were more than just friendly. And, if he was being honest, he had been more and more attracted to her lately. He noticed each and every small movement she made, the way her eyes brightened when she was excited, the way she would chew on the end of her pencil when she was concentrating, and the way she would bite her bottom lip when she was shy; he knew that her eyes could tell him everything she was feeling. She was so beautiful—breathtakingly stunning—and she didn't even know it.
Knowing that the confusion had set in full force and wouldn't be leaving any time soon, Tommy tried to get some sleep. After a while, he drifted into a restless and dream-filled sleep with thoughts of his girl.
…
A soft hand caressed his cheek and Tommy opened his eyes. Turning to face the blond beauty in front of him, he smiled, copying her actions and bringing his hand to her face. Taking in her scent, his smile grew. Glancing at her full lips, he suddenly felt a severe need to kiss them and taste her. Doing just that, he groaned in satisfaction—the feeling was perfect, she tasted perfect. Needing to feel more of her, Tommy removed his hand from her face, and moved it to her slightly rounded ass. It was covered by a skimpy string bikini, just loose enough for him to move his hand underneath, feeling the soft, pale skin.
He could feel her shiver underneath his touch, loving that his actions did that to her. His other hand joined the one already on her ass, and they massaged her slightly. Hearing her moan of pleasure only increased his need to feel more of her. Just as he moved his hand up her back, aiming to untie the top of her string bikini, a noise stopped his actions. Reluctantly removing his lips from hers, Tommy looked in the direction he thought the noise came from, and was startled to see people walking about. Looking around him and the beautiful girl, he realized they were in a cabana on a tropical beach. Unfurling the sides of the cabana, he tied the front opening closed to give them complete privacy. Finally blocked from the rest of the world, he laid back down and pulled Jude on top of him again, reattaching their lips. Immediately going for the stings on her bathing suit top, Tommy made quick work of undoing them and pulled it off. Rolling them over, he hovered above her, taking in her perfectly shaped breasts, not too big, but just the right size to grab.
Deciding he needed to do just that, he reached out one hand a firmly grasped her right breast, hardly able to stand how good it felt. Rolling her nipple between his thumb and pointer finger, he continued to watch her as pleasure began to course through her. The way she bit her lip made it all the more enticing, and the rocking of her hips against only encouraged his actions. The way Jude's pelvis was rubbing his erection was incredible, but soon, the friction was not enough. Pulling his hand away from her breast, he moved it in between them, attempting to pull of the bottoms of her bikini. Because of how their legs were entwined, he was having trouble removing them quickly and grunted in frustration. Feeling a hand stop his movements, he looked into her eyes, dark with passion and barely contained lust. "Let me," her husky voice told him.
Perfectly content to let her remove her suit, Tommy working on getting his own bottoms off. "Eager, are we?" The smirk on her face made it obvious she was joking. But soon, the smirk turned to a serious gaze. At the same moment, the two launched at each other, capturing each others lips in a ferocious duel. Still on their knees, Tommy pulled her closer and then gently laid her down on the cushions of the private sanctuary. The way his manhood nestled near her center was pure torture, and his desire for her was close to spiraling out of control.
Needing to be closer to her...needing to feel her wrapped around him, he pulled back and thrust into her. If the perfect way they fit together wasn't enough, the small scream she elicited nearly made him cum right there. Holding himself back in a desire to bring her pleasure, Tommy thrust into her again and again—slowly at first, but quickly picking up speed. She met him thrust for thrust, and he could tell she was getting closer. Shifting his hips slightly as he pistoned into her, his goal was to reach her special spot. The little moans coming from her mouth spurred him on. The louder her noises became, the more desperate he was for them to come together; he was literally throbbing, so much that it was almost painful. Giving one final thrust, they both came with a scream, calling out the other's name with eyes clenched. Tommy immediately collapsed on top of her, rolling to the side so he didn't crush her beneath him.
Twenty minutes later, they had mostly recovered, their breathing becoming a bit more normal. He looked at his beautiful Jude and smiled. This was perfect, laying here with her, post coital bliss intoxicating for them both. Her slightly hoarse voice broke through his thoughts, "I love you, husband." The sleepy smile that graced her face was pure perfection—he couldn't believe that he got to wake up next to her every day for the rest of their lives. He was so lucky that he got to hold her as they fell asleep every night to come. He was thrilled that he got to make love to her forever. "I love you too, wife. Forever and always."
Tommy stretched out his arm to pull his girl closer, but he was met with empty sheets. Where was she? Opening his eyes, he looked around and was startled to see that he was in his own room...alone...and with a rock hard erection making it nearly impossible to move. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to make his problem subside, he reluctantly got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom.
Having made his soldier "stand down," Tommy crawled back into bed and tried to get back to sleep—hopefully a rest less full of dreams than before. Nearly two hours later, he was still tossing and turning, unable to find any sleep. Thoughts of how right it felt to have Jude in his arms filled his mind. He didn't care that it was a dream—it had felt so real and so right. After all of the marriage talk tonight, Tommy couldn't shake the feeling that maybe there was more to his relationship with Jude than just friendship. It would make sense of all the feelings he had been experiencing lately. Maybe once this wedding was over they should talk about it.
He got up and threw on some sweatpants, heading downstairs in hopes that some hot tea would calm his mind. It was something Jude had taught him over the past few weeks, and hopefully it would work tonight as well. Before he could make his way to the kitchen, something caught his eye. The ring that he had bought for Jude glinted in the moonlight, and Tommy changed his direction so that he could pick it up. As he held the jewelry in his hand, he thought about how Jude would feel receiving it from him. Would she expect marriage? Would she ever take it off? Would he be okay if she ever took it off?
Knowing the answer was a resounding "no," Tommy thought about what that meant. If he never wanted her to take it off, what did that mean? Sighing, he closed the little box and decided to put it back where it belonged—in his safe. Walking into his combination office/studio, thoughts were still swirling in his mind. He thought about how much he had panicked when he thought she was pulling away, both in Europe while they were on tour and earlier this week. He was literally terrified at the thought of not having her around. The idea that they might not work closely or be together as often made his heart clench and his throat dry up.
As those thoughts continued to race through his mind, inspiration in the form of lyrics struck. Picking up the closest guitar, Tommy was about to play when he thought better of it. He closed the door to the office and went into the studio portion of the room, grabbing his journal and a pencil along the way. Sitting on the floor, he began to strum some random chords until something sounded right. Once the first right note was struck, however, there was no going back. Hours later, a song was made. Looking over what he had created, Tommy played it through once more, knowing that it was perfect.
There is no combination of words I could put on the postcard
And no song that I could sing, but I can try because this is your heart and this is
Our dreams and they are made out of real things
Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned loving
Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart, like
Why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's so much better when we're together
Mmm, so much better when we're together
Yeh, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well it's so much better when we're together
Yeh, it's so much better when we're together
All of these moments just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone when the morning light sings
Or brings new things for tomorrow night you see
They'll be gone too, to many things I have to do
But follow these dreams might find their way into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression, I was somewhere in between
With only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be, we'll sit beneath the mango tree now
Yeh, so much better when we're together
Mmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's so much better when we're together
Yeh, so much better when we're together
I believe in memories because they look so,
So pretty when I sleep
And when I wake up you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together
We so much better when we're together
We so much better when we're together
He wondered if he should show Jude, not sure how she would react. After fully realizing what the song he had just written was about, he knew that something would have to change with his favorite girl and best friend. But would she feel the same? Should they explore something more? What about their friendship? Pushing those thoughts aside, Tommy got up and put away his materials. It was now 5:00 in the morning. The guys had to be up at 9:30am to get ready, and, if he had any hope of staying up for the entirety of the day, he needed to get to sleep. Climbing back into the cocoon of his bed, Tommy finally drifted off, thoughts of Jude bringing a smile to his face even in his sleep.
The song Jude wrote for Tommy and sings for Sadie is Realize, by Colbie Caillat.
The song Tommy writes for Jude is Better Together, by Jack Johnson.