Chapter 9
The light coming in through the slats in the blinds invaded her senses. Groggily she rubbed her eyes, trying to clear her head. She realized that she was in Tommy's bed, thrilled at how well she had slept that night. Squinting against the bright light, she stretched her arms above her and pointing her toes, fully elongating her form. Looking down, she was startled to see that she had no shirt on.
Immediately, her arms came down and she lifted the covers slightly, peaking underneath to see what state the rest of her was in. She shuddered, seeing that both she and Tommy were completely naked, and the events of the night before came rushing back. In the moment of silence, her eyes roamed over his body, pausing on his impressive manhood. She had only been with two guys over the years—her former best friend, Jamie, and an interim artist at the studio, now one of her good friends. Both had been last year, and neither were very memorable.
Jamie had been a good friend for a long time—the two had known each other since they were five or six. Once she had started to get close to Tommy, Jamie had gotten jealous and stopped talking to her. Once Tommy had gone to New York, she had attempted to re-connect with her old friend, thinking it would be easier now that his "competition" wasn't living in Toronto. For a while, things had been good, too. But one day, about a year after Tom had left, Jamie confessed that he still had feeling for her and he loved her. She had known all along that she would never feel that way about him, especially when her heart belonged to the man in New York. But, not knowing how to turn him down, she had agreed to go on a date with him.
A few weeks later, they were out together and ended up having too much to drink. Jamie had thought it was purely out of having a good time, but for Jude, it was a way to get rid of the ache in her heart that had started earlier that day upon seeing her best friend and love on the cover of some tabloid with another woman. Later she had found out it was Alana, his co-worker's wife and Kwest's cousin; but that night, she tried to drink away the pain and ended up sleeping with Jamie.
After that, things had been so awkward between the two that Jude had barely talked to Jamie. They "broke up" not even a week later, and Jamie took a job in Los Angeles. Eventually, she had talked to Tommy and told him about Jamie—leaving out the part about her jealousy being the reason for the night's drunken sex. He had been the perfect best friend, commiserating with her and eating ice cream over the phone.
About six months later, Mason had waltzed into G Major in Toronto. He was there to record a song for his album, on loan from a studio in Tennessee. Jude had worked with him for a couple of weeks to get his song down—they rewrote the lyrics, played with the melody, and changed up some of the chords—and they had grown close. One of his last nights in the city, they had gone to a bar. Jude opened up about Tommy, he opened up about a relationship he had just gotten out of with someone named Taylor. In his drunkenness, Mason had suggested that maybe she just needed to get Tommy out of her system by being with someone else. That night the two had gone back to his hotel room and slept together. Of course, the next morning they woke up with massive hang overs, and Jude still had Tommy on her mind.
She had tried to broach the subject gingerly, not wanting to hurt her new friend. Thankfully, he had confessed that he was still thinking about Taylor, who happened to be a guy. As awkward as the situation could have been, a friendship bloomed that morning. They hadn't told anyone about their night together until a few months ago when Jude told Tommy during a drunken game of Truth or Dare while on tour. She still talked with Mason at least once a week, and he was like the best girl friend she ever had.
Considering her two experiences with sex, she knew it wouldn't have been hard to be impressed. Regardless though, she knew that last night was amazing. Never before had she felt so alive and satisfied at the same time. Tommy did things to her that she only ever hoped to experience. Even though she wasn't a virgin, she experienced her first orgasm last night, and she wanted more.
Sadly, she knew that she may never get another one—at least from Tommy. At that thought, she began to panic. What would this mean for their friendship? Would he never want to see her again? Was she just a one-night-stand? Would he ask her to leave and act like it never happened?
As the panic took over full force, she slid out of bed, being careful not to wake up her companion. After sliding on her lace boy shorts from the night before, she walked into his walk-in closet, not wanting to go home in her bridesmaid dress from the day before. Grabbing a pair of his sweats, she started to put them on and then pulled a shirt off a hanger, all the while thinking about her night. She wasn't afraid to admit that she was glad to have slept with Tommy. To her, it was complete perfection; even if he didn't want to acknowledge it, she knew there was more to it than mindless, drunken sex. If she didn't know better, she would say it was love.
A pair of cool hands snaking around her waist startled her and caused her to jump slightly, falling back into the firm chest of her best friend and last night's lover. Before she could put on the shirt she had pulled out, a hand grabbed it from her and threw it on the floor.
"Babes," his husky voice rumbled against her back. "What do you think you're doing?"
Not sure of what to say or how to react, she simply said, "getting some clothes on. Why?" He turned her around in his arms so that she was now facing him. She was a little disappointed to see that he had put on a pair of boxers, but looked up to see his smiling face, slightly sleepy eyes, and messy bedhead.
"There are only two reasons you should be putting on clothes." Turning, he walked back toward the bed, dragging her with him. With the hand not held in his grasp, Jude covered her bare chest, still uncertain as to how this morning would turn out. "One, because you are cold. But if that is the case, I'll turn on the heater." He stopped at the edge of the bed and faced her, pulling her into a close embrace before continuing, "and two, because you are going to go downstairs to get some coffee. But if that's true, I would say forget the coffee, you taste way better."
At his words, she couldn't help but giggle. Uncertainty and anxiety still plagued her, but his comment was so very Tommy that she had to laugh. After a moment she removed herself from his hold and took a step back. As much as she wanted to pretend that everything was fine and that she wasn't worried, she couldn't. She had to know what she was getting in to. "What exactly are you saying?" Jude looked to the window and crossed both arms over her chest, nearly terrified that he would tell her he was kidding and this was all a joke.
He stepped in her direction and put a hand on each upper arm. "Jude." She wouldn't look at him, so he turned her face to meet his, keeping the other hand on her arm. "Jude, last night was kind of incredible."
Before he could say another word, she interrupted, "But..."
Tommy wouldn't let her continue. "Babes, listen. Last night was amazing, and I don't want to pretend it didn't happen or chalk it up to the alcohol. I think last night was real, and I liked it." He placed a small kiss on her nose. "Besides, you know how much better I sleep when you're in my arms...especially naked." With that, he grabbed her by the waist and tossed her onto the bed.
She was stunned for a moment, but as soon as he joined her, she fused their lips together, being overwhelmed by the need to taste him and feel him close to her.
She was beneath him as he continued his assault on her lips, but soon began to move down her body. When his lips found that special spot on her neck, just below her ear in the hollow behind her jaw, the pleasure started to course through her. Slowly, his wicked lips traveled down her body, landing in between her breasts. As he worked on one side, a hand caressed her side, moving over her hip and landing close to her center, pulling the sweatpants she wore down along the way. Brushing his index finger over her folds, Jude gasped, and her hips automatically reached to meet his hand. Moving his lips to her other breast, his fingers continued to play with her, massaging her lower lips. Every once in a while, a finger would dip inside her, causing her breath to catch, and her hips to buck closer to him.
Finally, he stopped his torture and let two fingers slide into her. Every thrust brought her closer to release, her breath becoming more ragged by the second. Just as she was going to let go, his fingers stopped. "No!" she shouted. He chuckled as his lips moved away from her breast, landing briefly at her belly button, tongue darting out to taste her. They continued their journey south, coming to pause at her entrance. Completely frustrated at how close she was, Jude yelled out, "Baby, come on!"
In response, he kissed her center gently. His tongue ran along the outside of her folds, causing her to whimper in want. Dipping into her, she let out a moan, needing more, but loving the feeling of having him so close. His lips latched onto her sweet nub, making a soft, "Oh!" escape her mouth. The licking, sucking, and gentle teething of her clit continued to build the heat racing through her body. When he again thrust two fingers in her, pleasure increased even more; at the addition of a third finger, release was close. His speed increased, and she let go, embracing the pleasure that was rolling over her in waves. She could barely breathe, so lost in her pleasure.
Once she had recovered enough speak, she wanted to return the favor. "Now its your turn, Babes. Pants off and on your back." She pointed to the spot next to her on the bed, and smiled as he stripped himself of his boxers. He was now hers...to enjoy anytime she wanted. And now, she wanted to enjoy him. She pushed him down on the bed and began her assault, loving that she could make him moan and groan in pure pleasure. After she took care of his needs, they fell asleep wrapped in each others arms.
Around noon, Jude slowly opened her eyes, adjusting quickly to the amount of light in the room. Rolling over, she was going to see if Tommy was awake, but was surprised when he wasn't beside her. Immediately she sat up, looking around the room for signs of him. She saw a pair of jeans laying by his closet, and her favorite hoodie of his was still by the foot of the bed, but he was no where to be found. Quickly she got up, putting on the lace boy shorts once again, and pairing them with the long-sleeve dress shirt he had on the night before. Peeking her head in the bathroom, she checked to see if that's where he was. Again not finding him, her heart started beating a little faster.
Despite his comments this morning, what if he was regretting them being together? What if he only wanted a little more fun? Would he want her around or should she leave? Her racing mind was interrupted at the smell of something delicious coming from downstairs. Walking into the hallway, she continued to sniff, trying to figure out what was being cooked. Not able to help herself, she walked down the steps and slowly entered the kitchen. Her grumbling stomach gave evidence to her hunger—not surprising since she hadn't eaten since last night at the wedding. She could hardly believe that not even 24 hours ago she was helping Sadie get ready for her wedding.
"Oh good, you're up." Tommy's voice broke through her train of thought.
He didn't seem to be upset in any way. Thank goodness, Jude thought. She decided to take a chance, and walked over to him. Though her nerves were pretty high, she walked closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, squeezing him lightly. His response made her heart sing in joy.
"Mmm..." Flipping whatever was on the stove, he then turned to face her and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sure you're hungry...I'm starving. How does pancakes, fruit, and some eggs sound?"
The way he looked at her made her melt just a little. "That sounds great! Thank you." She reached up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, then pulling back to ask, "Are the eggs..."
Before she had a chance to finish asking about the eggs, he put a finger on her lips, "Eggs are cooked over-medium. Pancakes are done and keeping warm in the oven, and fruit is in the fridge. Wanna grab the fruit and take it into the living room? I'll get everything set in here."
She only nodded her agreement, going over to the refrigerator. As she took the cut up variety of berries, pineapple, and bananas into the living room, she couldn't believe the way Tommy was acting. It was how she had always dreamed they would be—normal and taking care of each other. Really, it was no different than before, but now there was something else...dare she say love?
She walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a couple of mugs out of the cabinet. Pouring coffee into each, she asked, "About ready, Babes?"
"Yep, I just put the plates together. Let's go sit down." He motioned for her to walk ahead of him, which she did, bringing the coffee with her.
Nearly in the living room, she didn't hear him behind her and stopped her movement, turning and asking, "Are you coming?"
He gave her a sexy smirk, "I was enjoying the view." Finally, he took a few steps in her direction. Reaching her side, he set the plates on the coffee table and took the mugs out of her hands, placing them on some coasters. "You look so damn sexy in my shirt. If I wasn't so hungry, I would say that we should forget the food and go right back upstairs." He then pulled her close and their lips met in a strong but sweet kiss. Patting her rear lightly, he told her, "Lets eat now and we can go back upstairs as soon as we're done. We should probably talk about a few things anyways."
At his words, Jude's chest constricted and her palms became sweaty. No words would come, so she only nodded as she sat on his couch. She didn't see him look over at her because her eyes were focused on her plate. She felt him gently grab her chin and turn it towards him, "Babes, I want to be with you. I love spending time with you and I miss you when you aren't around. The past couple of days have been torture because you weren't next to me. Not only that, but you are sexy as hell. After that night in Paris, I've had to constantly remind myself that you aren't mine and we shouldn't be so close. But after last night and this morning, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you no matter how hard I tried." Hand still grasping her jaw, he pulled her closer and fused their mouths briefly. Jude was just starting to get into the kiss when he pulled away. As much as she didn't like to admit it, she was disappointed—her lips missed his already. Instead, she focused on his words, "That being said, we still need to figure some things out. Okay?"
Understanding what his earlier comment had meant, Jude agreed, "Sure, Hon." She went to take a bite of her food, but felt the need for one last bit of reassurance. "But you're sure about this, Babe? You want us to be an us?"
Grabbing her hand, Tommy squeezed, "Yes Jude. I want to be with you. I want us to be an us. Is that what you want?"
The question in his eyes surprised her. How could he even question her desire for them to be more than friends. It was something she had thought and dreamed about for years. Squeezing his hand back, she nodded, "Yes, Tommy. That is exactly what I want." Taking a bite of her food, she moaned in pleasure. "Okay, seriously? This is incredible!" She finished chewing and swallowed, savoring every taste that had filled her mouth.
"Getting right down to business, do you want to tell anyone?" she asked him. She knew that he had never been one to flaunt relationships and enjoy public displays of affection. If he wanted to keep things between them quiet, she wouldn't be able to hide a hint of sadness. Of course, she would deal with it because being with him in secret would be far better than not being with him at all. She forced herself to stop thinking so much and listen to what the man next to her was saying.
"Honestly, I would love to tell the world. The moment you kissed me last night, I knew that this would be good and that it would last."
She smiled at his sweet words and gave him a quick peck, waiting for him to continue.
"But, as much as I want the world to know that you are mine, I want this to work even more." He looked away for a moment, and Jude instinctively knew that he was thinking about his past. She laid a hand on his knee, offering some silent encouragement. "You know that I don't have the best track record with relationships. I don't want to hide this, but I don't want to publicize it too much either. Does that make sense, is that okay?"
His sincerity was so obvious and clear to her, that Jude found herself agreeing. And honestly, she did understand. "I get it, Babes. An I agree. Let's keep this between us for now, not telling everyone we know." She was now finished with her food and set her plate on the coffee table where it joined Tommy's empty plate. Curling up beside him, she laid her head on his chest, enjoying the feeling of having him so close to her. Looking up at her...boyfriend?...she finished her thoughts. "Why don't we play it by ear. If we want, we can tell people, but we'll keep things quiet for a bit. What about Kwest and Saide?" As much as she may have wanted to keep things between her and Tommy, she knew that the moment Sadie saw her, she would know something was different.
She looked at Tommy and was surprised to see a somewhat sheepish look on his face. "I think Kwest might already know. We had this talk the other night and I'm pretty sure he has been expecting something like this to happen for a while. Is that okay?"
She chucked, "Of course, Baby! I think the same is probably true for Sadie. Oh well, that's two less people we really have to worry about." Removing herself from his side, she stood up and grabbed the plates. "Now, what do you say we wash these and head back upstairs?"
He jumped from the couch and grabbed the empty mugs and fruit bowl, "We don't need to wash them, just toss them in the sink." He reached the kitchen ahead of her and literally dropped the dishes. She couldn't help but smile, but stashed the plates she was holding in the sink as well. Turning, she expected to find him behind her, but was surprised to see him halfway up the stairs already.
A slightly distant, "Baby, come on!" drifted through the house, and she couldn't help but grin. This was the start of something spectacular, of that, she was sure.
…
The feeling of her in his arms was perfection, and Tommy realized that he never wanted it to end. He had always enjoyed waking up with Jude close by, but waking up the past couple of mornings with her actually wrapped in his arms was perfect. The past two days had been spent mostly in his bedroom, only leaving briefly for food every once in a while. Today was Tuesday, and the couple would have to head into work for a few hours. Thankfully, things should be pretty low key, and they would be able to get home early. Now that he had Jude to come home to, Tommy loved the idea of a short work day.
An obnoxious ring startled him out of his blissful state, and he remembered that his phone had been what had woken him up in the first place. Stealthily removing his arms from their place around his girl, he got out of bed and walked outside his room, making sure to grab the ringing phone.
Answering as soon as he got outside, Tommy was surprised at the voice on the other end. He moved down the steps and sat on his couch, throwing a blanket over himself to keep warm. Barely a sound was made on his end of the call, only listening to the shocking news coming from the person on the other end.
He barely registered Jude coming down the stairs, dressed in a pair of his sweatpants and a tank top she had left here a few weeks ago. He continued to listen what was being said, and was just hanging up when Jude set a cup of coffee in front of him. He could only smile at her, still processing what the lawyer from social services had said. The feeling of her hand on his leg startled him, but he gratefully accepted her touch.
Picking up the coffee mug, Tommy took a huge gulp, needing the caffeine. He sat in silence for at least ten more minutes, still processing the news he just received, thinking about what it would mean.
The soft voice of his girl interrupted his thoughts, "Tommy, what's going on?"
Though he had been processing the news for a while, he still wasn't sure where to start, and he told her as much.
"Start at the beginning. Who was on the phone?"
He loved that she made things simple for him. She knew just how to focus his thoughts and get going. "Well, that was a lawyer...for a social services office in Gowanda, New York. Apparently it's about an hour outside of Buffalo, and about two and a half hours from Toronto. The lawyer told me that I..." As much as he wanted to just come right out and tell her, the magnitude of the situation really hit him in that moment. He paused, wondering if he should just come out and say it or give a little history. Looking at Jude, he saw pure compassion reflecting back at him, and he loved how perfectly supportive she was, even though she didn't know what was going on. Deciding to push forward, he cleared his throat and took her hands in his. He closed his eyes, knowing that what he said next may have her running for the door. "Babes, I have a daughter. She's five."
Letting the weight of that revelation sit for a few moments, he eventually ventured a look at Jude, nervous and curious for her reaction. When he opened his eyes, he was blown away by what he saw. Her beautiful blue eyes were literally shining with warmth and care and support.
Grabbing his right hand with both of hers, she began to massage it, and asked, "So, tell me about her. Why did a lawyer contact you?"
"Really?" He had a hard time believing that it was that simple. "You aren't upset?"
"Why would I be upset? Sure, I'm a little startled, you have a daughter. But Babes, that is amazing! I would be upset if you didn't tell me about her, but you didn't know about her. I want to know about her, and I want to know why you are just finding out about her today."
Switching hands, Jude grabbed his left hand and began massaging it as she waited for him to continue. A moment later, after getting over his slight shock, Tommy began to share what the lawyer had told him. "I guess Angie had her almost five years ago. After quitting Boyz Attack, I took some time off and then came to work for Georgia. About a year after leaving Angie and the band, she came to Toronto one night, claiming that she had changed and that she wanted us to be friends. We ended up grabbing drinks after work, and the next thing I remembered was waking up the next morning in some hotel. I was an idiot for even thinking that she had changed, and she proved me right. Angie drugged my drink and dragged me to the hotel. I wanted to believe that nothing happened, but clearly I was fooling myself. After realizing how stupid I had been, I took a couple of weeks off to collect myself; the week after I got back, you started interning."
At his last statement, he saw Jude smile. That small act brightened his mood slightly, and he was once again blessed by her encouragement. Her question didn't come as a surprise, "Are you sure the kid is yours?"
"Yeah. I guess when Angie came to town a few months ago, she wanted to tell me that we had a kid. Her lawyer had encouraged her to get a DNA test to verify that it was my child. But, she got drunk and chickened out. However, when she was here, she grabbed some hair or something and had the test done anyway. The results were sent to the lawyer assigned to her case, and the girl is, in fact, mine."
"Surprisingly enough, that makes sense." She removed one of her hands from his and put it to his cheek, caressing it lightly. "So did the lawyer call just to tell you that she is yours?"
Her hand stayed on his cheek, so he turned slightly and kissed her palm. In that moment, Tommy knew that Jude was the only person who would ever be so supportive. "That was part of it. But, what it came down to is that Angie was found dead in her apartment early last week. The authorities officially closed the case and ruled her death as being caused by an overdose."
"Hon, what about the girl...what about your daughter?"
Her question made his eyes start to tear. What woman would ever have such immediate concern for the welfare of a girl she didn't even know? The instant regard she had for his child blew him away, and his love for her was reinforced tenfold. As he thought of the person that was about to change his life...their lives...a small smile made its way to his face. "Her name is Samantha, but apparently she likes to be called Sam. New York has a mandatory waiting time of thirty days before I can take custody. Thankfully, that started the day Angie died. The social services lawyer is sending all of the custody paperwork to my lawyer, which should only take a few days to sign and process. A child services agent will bring Sam to Toronto in about two weeks."
He stopped talking, not sure how Jude would take the last bit of news. He knew the moment he heard about Sam and Angie that he wanted to take care of her and be her father. But this relationship with his girl was so new, he didn't want to ruin things before they got a chance to start. After a long silence on Jude's part, his anxiety broke out and he asked, "What do you think about all of this?"
"Is she going to stay here?"
The inquiry startled Tommy. He wasn't sure what she was getting at, and he didn't want to give the "wrong" answer. But, he also knew that he had to be honest. Instead of answering, he just nodded. Sam would definitely stay with him.
There was a pause, and then Jude shocked him even more. She agreed, "That makes things easier. You can use the spare room at the top of the stairs—the one across from your room—for her. Do you know her favorite colors or what she likes to do? We can go shopping over the next couple of weeks to make sure you have everything she needs. And we should probably look at some schools, right? I mean, five-year-olds go to school I think. What about..."
Before she could continue, Tommy lunged at her and wrapped his arms around her. A few tears escaped, no matter how hard he tried to hold them in. Taking a deep breath, he pulled back, making sure to look her in the eye. "Are you sure about this? You want to help? You're in this with me?"
"Seriously?" She looked at him incredulously. "Yes I want to help. Of course I am in this with you." She closed her arms around him, seemingly trying to convey her feelings.
The pair separated after a few moments, and Tommy placed a sweet kiss on her lips. He was still processing what this all meant, but was so thankful for to woman next to him.
She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and said, "Babes, I know that there is still a lot to talk about, but we do have to get into the studio. Why don't we plan on dinner tonight and we can figure things out, okay? I'll bring Chinese over tonight."
How was she able to do that? She knew when they needed a break from such an emotional morning, but also knew that he would still need to process things. "That sounds perfect." Looking at her intently, he wanted her to see how truly thankful he was. "Thank you, Babes. You're the best."
Giving each other another quick hug, they went upstairs, falling back into their routine of getting ready and heading out for the day. Tommy went into work alone because Jude had a few errands to run before heading into the studio that afternoon. Hours later, he was sitting in his office sifting through the build up of paperwork on his desk when his phone rang. Thinking it was his girl, he answered quickly with a happy, "Hey there!"
Surprised by such a chirpy response, Kwest chuckled, "What's up with you man?"
Realizing his mistake, Tommy amended his tone and brushed off the question. "Not much, not much. What about you? How's the honeymoon?"
Kwest regaled him with tales of their honeymoon so far. They were in Venice for a week—taking in the sights and enjoying the romantic setting. Nearly a half an hour later, Kwest once again asked, "So, what's up with you, man?"
"I'm not going to get out of answering am I?" Tommy knew his friend wouldn't let him off the hook. And, to be honest, it might be nice to talk to him about the craziness of the past couple of days. "Well, I guess you should know that Jude and I aren't exactly friends anymore."
"Ah, man! What did you do?"
Chuckling, Tommy explained. "Kwest, not like that. I took a chance. After all that talking you and James were doing before the wedding, I figured out that maybe I did want more from Jude. We got a bit tipsy at the wedding and ended up together that night. I caught her trying to escape and, at the risk of sounding completely cheesy and girlie, I realized that I didn't want her to leave."
"Wow." The single word was the only response from Kwest.
"Dude, I love her."
Again, "Wow" was the only word Kwest said.
"I know, right? We are now an us."
"To be honest, T, that isn't all that surprising. More like a long time coming."
Not surprised by his friend's comment, Tommy chucked. But, a moment later, he sobered. Taking a deep breath, he continuing with his confessions, "That may be true. But, you haven't heard the craziest thing. I found out this morning that I have a daughter." Waiting for the impending shock, he wasn't surprised.
"What? Tom, what are you saying?"
"Kwest, I think I just said I have a daughter."
"But...How...Who..." After a minute, Kwest seemed to gather his thoughts. "Who is the kid's mom? And how did you find out?"
"First, her name is Sam." From there, Tommy told the rest of the story. He even shared how Jude had reacted and what she had said. He confessed how scared he was about being a dad all of a sudden, but how he felt like he could do it as long as Jude was helping out. Over twenty minutes had passed when he had finished explaining all that had changed that morning.
A period of silence passed, and Tommy waited for his friend's reaction. "I can't believe it. You have a kid; rather, you have a little family. What about Jude?"
"What do you mean? I told you how great she was." Tommy didn't understand what Kwest was trying to get at.
"Tom, she may say that she's great with things, but have you thought about how much this changes? I mean, the girl is 21 and has just gotten into a relationship with a 27 year old former playboy. If that isn't enough, she is now recording an album, and still working as a producer. And now, on top of all of that, you have a kid. She's going from a decently normal life to one with a new job, a new relationship, and a new kid. Do you really think its that easy?"
Before, Tommy had been so sure and confident of his girl's words that morning. But maybe Kwest was right. What if she didn't really want all of this? What if she would walk away? What if this wasn't real? "So what should I do?" He needed answers and help. Hopefully Kwest would have something helpful.
"I'm not saying you should do anything. I'm just saying that you should take it slow with her. She's been through a lot—between the tour, her contract, the wedding, and you, she's had a lot going on. Don't expect her to step into the role of "mommy" right away."
"Right. I get you." Staring up at the ceiling of his office, Tommy pondered what Kwest had said. "Look, man. I have to go. Have a great rest of your trip and we'll chat when you get back, okay?"
For the next three hours, no real work was accomplished. Tommy sat at his desk, thinking about what Kwest had said. Was he pushing too much on Jude? Should he just walk away now? It would certainly be better to walk away now before he got in even further. Each and every one of Jude's eight phone calls and fifteen text messages was ignored. He figured that it would be better to make a clean cut rather than pretend to keep things going when they wouldn't last for the long haul.
Just after six, he walked into his place and threw his keys onto the table by the door. Since his conversation with Kwest, he had been miserable. The one person he wanted to talk things over with was the one person he was trying to avoid. Maybe avoiding Jude wasn't the best plan. How the hell would he stay away from her? Maybe he shouldn't have come back to Toronto?
A knock on the door interrupted his mind's ramblings, and Jude's voice called out to him, "Tommy? You there?" Knowing that the moment he let her in his resolve would be weakened, he ignored her and started up the stairs to his office. A minute later, he heard the door opening, and he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or frustrated. Deciding to not think on it more, he continued up the stairs and locked his office door.
…
Letting herself into his place, Jude left her keys in the door and went straight to the kitchen to put down the two bags full of Chinese food containers. All day she had been trying to get ahold of Tommy, but to no avail. The first couple of times she had a simple question for him or had wanted to tell him something funny, but once she realized that he was ignoring her calls and not responding to her text messages, she had started to worry. A few hours ago she had gone by the studio, needing to drop a few things off and work on some of her artist's songs. She figured that would be the perfect time to talk to him. But again, she was ignored. It was like he saw her come in and ran into his office, closing and locking the door.
Similarly, Jude knew that he was now locked away in his office. She had heard him close the door when she came in, and the unmistakable sound of the lock clicking into place followed quickly. Figuring there had to be a clue somewhere around his place, she took a look around. Finding his cell phone on the counter, she opened it and looked at his call history. Maybe the lawyer had called with bade news? Maybe he found out more about Angie?
Looking at his recent call log, she wasn't surprised to see a ton of ignored calls from her. It looked like the last person he talked to was Kwest—earlier that day, just before he started acting strange. Deciding that Kwest would be more helpful than trying to coerce Tommy into telling her what was going on.
On the fifth ring, he answered. An exasperated, "Finally!" came out of Jude's mouth. She got right down to business, and asked, "What happened, Kwest?"
"What?" Confusion was clearly evident in his voice.
"You talked to Tommy for over an hour today. After that conversation, things got weird and he ignored me. So, I ask again: What happened?" If Kwest didn't start talking soon, she would reach through the phone and ring his neck.
"Oh. What do you mean, 'things got weird'?"
"He ignored my calls and didn't respond to my text messages. What did you say to him?" Now she was getting impatient. Why wouldn't he just tell her what happened?
"Jude, how are you handling everything?"
"Kwest, if you don't tell me what the hell is going on, I'm never gonna move out and your kid will have to sleep in the basement! Just tell me what happened when you were on the phone with Tommy!" Jude's voice had risen a whole octave in the last ten seconds, and she was about to start screaming. For Tommy's sake, she didn't want it to quite get there, but she would do what she had to.
"Fine." Jude could hear the sigh from the other end of the phone. "We talked about all the crazy shit that's been happening. He told me about you guys and then told me about Samantha."
Before he could continue, Jude interrupted, "Sam. She likes to be called Sam."
"And then we talked about how this would affect you guys."
"What do you mean 'affect' us?"
There was another sigh from Kwest before he continued. "Jude, do you realize how much things will change once she gets here?"
Did Kwest think she was an idiot? Of course she understood that things would change. "Of course things will change. But isn't it better to be by his side through this. Sure, us being an 'us' is new, but who are we kidding? This has been a long time coming."
"But what about the normal stuff? It won't just be you guys anymore. There will be someone else to consider now. Really, there will be someone else who is more important. You know that she has to come first, no matter what. And what happens if you and Tom get in a fight? I know that you guys always work things out, but sometimes it takes lots of loud arguments to get there. You can't do that in front of a little girl."
She stopped him before he could continue. "Kwest, stop. I love Tommy. No matter what, I will be by his side and helping him out. I don't even know Sam, but I already love her. You know what I did today? I went to that hardware store by the studio to look at paint colors. I've already thought about how we can decorate her room; and I bought her a guitar—one of those child half-sized ones . I know I'm not her mom, but I want to be there and help take care of her and help raise her. If that means that I'm not the most important thing in Tommy's life, then so be it."
After a moment of silence, a quiet, "Are you sure?" came through the phone.
"Yes." She needed Kwest to understand how serious she was about this.
"In that case, I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean to cause any trouble or any drama between you guys. And yeah, this thing between you two has been a long time coming. I'm excited for you."
"Thanks. Now, I would love to hear how your trip is, but I have a sulking man to find. Talk to you when you get back?" After saying goodbye to her new brother-in-law, Jude grabbed the bags of food and a couple of forks and headed up the stairs. She knocked on the door, not expecting to get a response. Not surprised when there wasn't any reaction, Jude set the food down and grabbed a credit card out of her wallet. Thankful that she had thrown the wallet in with the bags of food, Jude jimmied the lock and eventually pushed the door open.
Grabbing the food, she walked into the dark room and smiled at the site of her best friend, and now lover, sitting at his desk, head in hands. She could tell that he had just put something away, but didn't care enough to question him about it. There were more important things at hand. Setting the food on the ground, she sat on the couch, somewhat across from Tommy.
"Babe, we need to talk."
…
Rolling the ring between his fingers, Tommy thought about his day. The conversation with Kwest had really thrown him off and he was still not sure what to do. As much as he thought the best choice might be to ignore Jude, he knew that it wouldn't be easy. To be honest, he didn't want to avoid his girl. Not only was she his girlfriend now, but she was his best friend. He told her everything.
Continuing to fiddle with the ring, he thought about what he decided yesterday. Before the drama and craziness with Sam began this morning, Tommy decided that this ring would be Jude's engagement ring. It wasn't all that surprising, especially after all of the comments James and Kwest had said, but he knew that it would be the perfect ring for that occasion. Since waking up that Sunday morning, a very naked and beautiful Jude in his arms, Tommy knew that this was it. He wanted to be with her like that forever.
But then there was Sam. Not to be mistaken, Tommy was thrilled to be a father. He was nervous about it, of course, but he was excited. Would he have to choose between his girl and his new daughter? Kwest's words had scared him for the future. What if Jude really didn't want this? What if she walked away? Was he saddling her with too much? She was only 21, but she was also mature as hell. Really, she was perfect. Could he really handle it if she left. The answer was a resounding "NO!" His heart would literally be broken if that happened; but could he prevent it? Again, the answer was no.
A rattling at the door alerted him to Jude's presence. He knew that she would be able to pick the lock quickly—he had taught her that trick! Hurriedly, he put the ring back in its case and shoved it in the top drawer of his desk. Putting his head in his hands, he wasn't sure how to respond when she opened the door.
"Babe, we need to talk."
Her sweet voice invaded his thoughts, and he looked up at her. Still not sure what to say, he did the easy thing and stayed quiet. Thankfully, she was willing to take control of the conversation.
"I talked to Kwest and he told me about your conversation." She got up and moved over to his desk. Sitting on the side of it, she took his hands in hers and continued speaking. "Tommy, do you understand that I want to be a part of this? I want to be by your side every step of the way. I already love Sam and I don't even know her." Pulling her hands out of his, she put them on his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. "Babes, I won't let you do this alone."
Her words brought some comfort to him, but there were still questions. What if she left once things got hard? He knew that this conversation had to happen, regardless of how much he wanted to push things aside and just hold her. He had needed her comfort today. "What happens when things get hard though?"
"Then we'll get through them together."
"And what about when Sam has to come first?" This is one of the things he had really started to worry about. As great as Jude was, would she be okay if he couldn't focus on her and her alone?
"Then she has to come first." Her hands were still cupping his face, and she leaned in, kissing him on the nose. The feeling of her lips on him were perfect, and he closed his eyes to savor the moment. "Hon, I know that the world won't revolve around us, and I'm okay with that. I know that Sam will be the priority for a long time, and that's okay...its good!" Again, she kissed him, though this time on the lips.
His lips burned after hers left them; that was what he needed for the rest of his life. Her lips...her support...just her. But, he had to be sure that she knew what she was getting into. "You're sure about this, Babe?"
"Yes." She said it so determinedly that he couldn't help fut believe her. "I'm with you."
Hearing her reassurance, he couldn't help but grab her and pull her onto his lap. "I'm so glad. I missed you today." Placing a sweet kiss on her lips, he was about to tell her how much he loved her, but he wasn't sure if it was the right time.
She jumped off of his lap and he was saddened by the loss of her close proximity. When she grabbed the food, he understood her intentions, and joined her on the floor by the couch. They ate nearly all of the eight containers full of Chinese food, and were just sitting, his arm around her, leaning against the couch.
Abruptly, Jude sat more upright and looked at him. Her expression was so intent, so serious, that he knew he had to listen. Her eyes were shining with honesty and vulnerability, a hint of uncertainty peaking through as well. She took his hands in hers and took a deep breath. "Babes, I think I need to tell you something."
At her comment, the worry started to set in. Was she done with this? So soon? Already?
She must not have noticed his confusion, and took another breath. "I need you to know that I love you. I know its soon but I just..."
Jude didn't get a chance to finish what she was saying, Tommy's lips getting in the way of her words. Almost automatically, their kiss deepened, his tongue exploring each and every crevice of her mouth. A full ten minute later, they separated, both completely out of breath.
"I love you too. I think I always have, but I only just realized it. I love you so much and you are the only one I want to do this with. I need you by my side with Sam and with everything." Kissing her again, he lay her down on her back on the floor. One hand slid down her body, taking in her every curve, the other helped to support his weight so he didn't crush her beneath him. The kissing continued and progressed, and soon, clothes were flying in every direction. Bodies were heated and covered in a sweaty glow soon, as passion spiraled out of control. Not twenty minutes later, the couple was completely spent—wrapped in a blanket and each other's arms, lingering in their post-coital pleasure. Though their love-making had not been drawn out, it was blissfully intense, both being brought to orgasm quickly and consumingly.
A few moments later, Tommy sat up and was once again reminded of how being with Jude seemed to be what he was made for. If nothing else in his life went well, he would know that being with her was perfect.
Not wanting to get drawn into such sappy thoughts, he turned to his girl and grinned. "So, Sweets...wanna make some music?"
"I thought we just did..." she quipped, giving him a smirk complemented by sparkling eyes.
He couldn't help but laugh at her comeback. It was such a Jude thing to say, and he loved her for it. "We certainly did that," he replied, nudging her in the side. "But, I was more thinking that we could take a look at your journal...you can show me some of what you were thinking about for your album."
If the radiant smile on her face was any indication, Jude loved the idea. Giving him a quick kiss, she stood and walked out of the room. Her nakedness made his grin grow, and he fought to not chase after her and begin round 2. They would have plenty of time for that later tonight. Now, they should regain some energy and take a look at some of her music.
Smirking at the thought of a later round 2, Tommy got up and grabbed one of his acoustics, knowing that it would come in handy. Waiting for his girl to return, he strummed to the melody of Better Together, and thought of the perfect time to show her. Lost in thoughts of proposals and serenades, he didn't notice when his girl re-entered the room, journal in hand, not a piece of clothing in sight. Her lips on his ear startled him, but he quickly adjusted, turning and kissing her.
…
Leaning down, she placed a light kiss on his ear. She had seen him playing, but it was so soft that she couldn't really hear until she got closer. Once she was close enough to kiss his ear, she took a brief moment to listen. She couldn't wait to hear the whole song—lyrics and everything—but that would come later.
When he turned and kissed her, she kissed him back. After a moment they separated, and Jude grabbed the guitar out of his hands, moving back towards the couch and their abandoned blanket. Pulling it around her, she started fiddling, letting Tommy look through her journal. He would ask her to play certain parts of a song, wondering about the transition or a beat, and she would comply. Stopping on a particular song for a long while, he eventually asked her about it.
"Let me play it for you, first. Okay?" She wanted him to get the full effect before explaining how the song came to be. Strumming lightly, she tried to bring back some of the raw emotions that inspired the song. Eventually, she began to sing, losing a sense of where she was and who she was with.
This city's always raining
When you haven't got a coat
I once was a grand pianist
But I can't recall a note
And it just keeps going round and round
I'm stuck in a cycle and I can't get out
My head is all turned upside down
Stuck in a cycle and I can't get out
Since you left me
It's been rain city
Last night I swore I saw you
Across a crowded hall
I ran like mad to catch you
Just to realize it wasn't you at all
And it just keeps going round and round
I'm stuck in a cycle and I can't get out
My head is all turned upside down
Stuck in a cycle and I can't get out
Since you left me
It's been rain city
Wake up to find my left side is right
My body is inside out
Lift my feet up but they're taking me down
My body is inside out
Just keeps going round and round
I'm stuck in a cycle and I can't get out
Just keeps going round and round
And round round round round
Since you left me
It's been rain city
"Wow, Babes. That was beautiful." He looked at her and smiled. After another minute, he asked, "Where did that come from?"
While she knew that those feelings were no longer as present, she also knew that it was a rough couple of months when he left for New York a few years ago. She told him as much, saying, "When you left for New York, it wasn't a big deal at first. The first couple of weeks, I felt like you were coming back any minute and I would see you again. But the more time that passed, the more I realized that you were gone. For the next month, I hardly came out of my room. I felt like the world was ending a little bit...everything was backwards and wrong. It was like I was spinning in circles and there was nothing to stop me."
Putting the journal down, Tommy hugged her from behind. "I'm so sorry." He kissed the side of her face, letting his lips linger for a moment. "Would it make you feel better if I told you I was miserable too?"
Laughing, she set the guitar aside and turned to face him. "No! I don't like you being sad...especially when we were sad together." Settling herself back into his arms, she continued, "Eventually it got better, I was able to function again. Honestly, I didn't ever stop missing you, it just got easier to deal." Lifting her head slightly, her lips met his briefly, "I'm just glad you're back now."
"Mmmm. Me too, Sweetheart. Me too."
They kissed again, followed by Tommy picking up her journal once again. He flipped through, reaching the last quarter or so of the book. Stopping for a moment on a page, Jude looked over to see that he had stopped on Realize. She batted the journal out of his hands, not wanting him to read it quite yet. Sure, they were together now and loved each other, but that song was so raw that she would need a little more time to prepare. Besides, it would be a sweet thing to show him one day—let him know that he had always been what she wanted and that they would work.
...
I know nothing of child services or social services in New York (or anywhere else). The things I wrote are there because they fit with the story, nothing more, nothing less.
The song Jude plays for Tommy is Rain City, by Lucy Schwartz.