Damaged People: The Last Waltz

Chapter Two:

Topsy-turvy Teatime

Running with such celerity that his surroundings became an unintelligible blur, his heart was sluggishly pounding, beating against his ribs and spurring him on ever faster. A flash of white-! Nay, the Rabbit could not win this grave race! (This race to the grave as it may be…) The Hatter burst through the last few feet of forest brush, and into the clearing where Alice sat, idly dreamlit of happenings long past. To avoid the surety of collision, he spiraled to fall a goodly distance away, coming to sit cross-legged before her.

Alice almost couldn't believe her eyes, and stared, still open-mouthed from her gasp of surprise. A loud crack broke into her mind, and not through her ears, proving yes, this was real. She fancied it his heart breaking, though the awed look on his face spoke otherwise. His red, red as flame hair and too-green eyes that looked like sick emeralds sparkling with tears, kindled reminiscences- feelings- she had only ever experienced once before.

The Hatter spied her expression, noting how much regret she was hiding in her stunned smile. He reached out slowly, cautiously. Alice didn't flinch.

"Your hair wants cutting…" the Hatter whispered reverently, those first words he ever spoke to her (all those years ago, but who could tell how time passed here?), as he let her ashen white-blonde hair sift through his long and pale fingers. Even in as surreal a moment as this reunion, it was still a callous remark, but under the current circumstances Alice took it in stride. His mauve fingerless glove and frothy silk sleeve tickled her face, but she couldn't bring herself to move. They might have stayed that way for aeons, but a twig breaking put the Hatter on guard at once; he stood up quickly, taking Alice with him. Looking intently into the dark trees of the forest, he pulled the startled girl closer to him, keeping her protected... Safe. Alice marveled at how much taller he was than she; he practically dwarfed her, yet he was thin enough that their weights were probably alike. "Now… I need you to listen- We must get you somewhere safe."

"Safe?" Alice asked incredulously. In Wonderland, nothing could do her harm, it was her creation. The Hatter answered her thoughts as if she spoke them aloud. Mayhap she had…

"Wonderland is much changed." Alice looked up then, fear slowly dawningon her features. "I need you to trust me…" She nodded silently, but her eyes told him all he desired to know. The Hatter held out his hand. Alice took it with no hesitation. They started off walking, looking extraordinarily calmer than they felt. But the Hatter's back tensed all of a sudden, and he gave a glance laden with fierce emotion in Alice's direction. As if they were of one mind, they ran, free in the hazy greenery whipping by them. Alice was taller than she was last time she came to Wonderland, but she couldn't compete with the Hatter's easy, loping stride. He soon realized he was practically dragging the poor girl, and he paused for the barest of seconds to sweep her off her tired feet and into his arms. Alice worried that even her slight weight would snap his thin arms like sticks, but he was surprisingly strong. They seemed to fly through space and time, unburdened by conventional weights and forces.

"Oh!"

Alice gasped as the Hatter made a bold leap across a ravine, though he tightened his hold on her, and thereby dispelled her fears. She felt so secure, so comfortable, as if she belonged in his arms; Alice could almost doze off if they weren't running from some form of danger. She realized she was blushing, but made no move to cover her face for fear she'd draw attention to it. After all, Alice must have been blushing for quite some time now; if he was going to say something, he would have already.

The Hatter slowed his pace once they landed (more like floated) safely onto the other side of the ravine. He looked straight ahead, but started to talk, telling a story she wasn't sure she wanted to hear.

"Alice. Alice. Alice, Alice, Alice." She looked up at his suddenly severe features, confused as to what he wanted. But then he spoke again. "I know you must be all atwitter, not knowing what it is we must save you from. The White Rabbit- Yes, the selfsame pasty, time mongering-" He had to forcibly cut himself off, no doubt suppressing a string of nasty obscenities. "The Queen of Hearts has gone too far, she wants control of Wonderland- that's yours by the by- yet she still lacks that nerve to kill for it (for now). But I'm positively positive she would, given you." His grimace shifted into a faraway look, as he seemingly started to talk to himself, reasoning even as he explained. "But they don't- they won't- understand; Alice was the only reason they existed! Killing her would quite effectively kill Wonderland as well." The Hatter shook his head slightly and resumed speaking directly to Alice again. "I'm not well liked- not that I ever was- I seem to have transcended into something different, something more. And people always fear the unknown- Wonderland is no exception to that rule. You know, the Queen of Hearts cannot ever take a life, as much as she likes to put on airs with all that beheading nonsense… You can't kill a dream after all. Regrettably- I suppose- I wound up the only Death-Dealer (so to speak). Life- even imaginary- takes on new meaning when you can end it…" He paused and smiled. "You grew up. Wonderland did too." Alice opened her mouth to respond, that yes, things had changed, but no, she was still the same. She was interrupted by the Hatter. "We're here… Well, neither here nor there, to be precise."

Alice looked around and realized they had stopped, in front of a twisting, spinning, creaking building that was almost a house. Gears spun endless circles, for seemingly inane reasons from what she could tell. She was aware he was waiting for her to realize he was waiting to put her down. She was soon settled firmly on the ground, both feet down. She had half assumed the Hatter would plunk her down head first! But he seemed genuinely concerned for her well being, so she felt a little sorry for thinking that way.

"I'm sorry." Alice blurted out, before noting the Hatter would have no idea what for. Nevertheless, he nodded slightly in acknowledgment. Then the Hatter produced an absurdly large skeleton key from out of one of his many waistcoat pockets. Alice was startled to see it was literally a 'skeleton' key, as he placed it in a gaping keyhole that looked like a greedy, waiting maw. The Hatter turned the miniature bone-key with exaggerated, careful slowness, as if it was a volatile endeavor. The door swung open smoothly, without so much as a squeak, which wasn't analogous with the overall theme. Alice was blasted with the sound the moment she stepped onto the threshold, into the only clear space in the entire conglomerate mess of mad, out of whack clockwork. Alice had to close her eyes to fully deal with the complexities bombarding her ears, feeling carried away as if by a strong wind or fast current to some higher plane. "How do we-?" she wondered aloud. That 'mess' Alice had wondered at and already condemned as a lost cause, was in actuality timed perfectly, painstakingly put together, assembled to let only the enterprising 'Mad' Hatter through. Well, him and whoever he took with him.

It was the perfect defense system only because of its crazy nature, its dangerous metal workings that shuddered in a seemingly random pattern. The Hatter, looking confident although he was feeling almost completely otherwise, held out his hand again, moved almost to tears by Alice's candid acceptance, her trust… Instead he smiled brightly, and turned to face his self-made challenge with a steely look. The Hatter led Alice by the hand, telling her when to stop and when to step, looking back occasionally to marvel at the trust and devotion in her eyes. Alice trusted him unconditionally, even though he was who he was- had done what he'd done. But still he kept up the cheery façade, making sure not to concern her unnecessarily and cause them both to be killed horribly… and quite messily, to be frank.

They were climbing down to incredible, cold depths; no mistakes so far…But up ahead was a gnashing, teeth-like mechanism that was so swift, so violently frightening- the Hatter paused only a second, before making one spontaneous and impossible leap. Alice's breath caught in her throat- they are going to fast- they won't make it- She shut her eyes and thought in a fervent, determined voice: 'I trust you!' …Alice opened her eyes to watch as both of them soar through that mechanical mouth, escaping without so much as a nick. They crash-landed past the gears and into opposite chairs. The Hatter, nonchalant as could be, reached up and plucked two steaming cups of tea (one in each hand) from strings on the ceiling. A ceiling, if it could be called that- as topsy-turvy and hodgepodge as it was. A plethora of seemingly random items, mostly tea paraphernalia and shimmering, shiny baubles that sparkled like so many stars.

"Tea?" the Hatter asked cordially, gesturing with one of the teacups in Alice's direction. She fought to keep a straight face, but seeing the Hatter's small, happy smile, she relaxed and laughed a little.

"Why yes, if you would be so kind?" she said, affecting a regal tone. Alice took the cup, inhaling the soothing warmth in this cool atmosphere pleasantly. The Hatter's eyes flicked birdlike across Alice's face, her hair, her clothes, and her older body; he drank in every detail, every subtle nuance of her appearance. He noted that her cute, childish features had turned into a refined depression. Alice looked sad now, despite- or especially because- of the fact that she was smiling. She did so much less often now- he'd have to smile enough for both of them!

As Alice was taking in her surroundings by looking around, she realized with a blushing start that she was in his bedroom- or at least the room with his unkempt bed in it. It was a wonder he could sleep comfortably at all with all those ratty blankets and lumpy pillows! It was like the 'Princess and the Pea', only in his case, he must not be able to feel his mattress (which looked comfortable in comparison). She flushed even more as she thought about it. How curious- him, the princess- and her, the returning prince!

The Hatter, noting her discomfort, wondered what was so special about the time- she was blushing rather a lot… Time, yes-! It was always time, perpetual teatime, but no perpetual life…

"Sigh." Already he was having trouble sticking to his smile-promise…

Alice looked at his troubled features with concern, reaching out hesitantly, to offer comfort- but pulled back at the last second.

She sensed something was greatly amiss; something was weighing down on his shoulders. Alice waited in silence, trying not to stop him before he began, and hoping he would speak to fill the emptiness. Neither happened, but the Hatter turned away, giving what could only be described as a 'lukewarm' shoulder. He wasn't blocking Alice out, per se, but only shielding her from himself. It wasn't his madness- nay, those who are mad never know that they are- and more is better company besides. It was instead his shame, his fear that she would reject him like a broken plaything.

Eventually the Hatter turned around, determined to no longer hide that which need not be hidden, for the truth is what he wanted… not a subtly-chilling façade. He stood, taking her hands to lead her over to his bed, and compelled her to sit on it. The Hatter produced a large fan like leaf and started to lazily fan her with it. The leaf had a unique scent, which was reminiscent of cinnamon, earthy dew, and cloves.

Alice sensed he was on the brink of some large, grave, cathartic flow of words, so she assumed an open and comforting silence.

"It starts- as it always does- at the beginning." The Hatter's voice became wistful, yearning for days long past. "When Wonderland was how it closed when you left- closed and unopened for years. They grew lawless- nothing whole governed this place after they stopped pining for you. I was with them, in the beginning, until that day. I had murdered the time- but never any of purely Wonderland birth; Wonderland blood… The time, oh the time! How wary I wasn't, how wary I should have been! Off with his head! Off with… OFF!" The Hatter was reduced to convulsions and fitful twitching for several moments. Eventually, he took a ragged, shaky breath, and continued on. "But I killed him- the Hare, mind- Oh! I had no idea the power I'd been given at my fingertips! If only… But what is past is. We can never reverse- never revoke- The Dormouse…" Here the visibly distraught Hatter left off, standing up as though rising from the dead, stiffly stalking over to a finely curtained area. He pulled on a golden tassel and Alice gasped- The Dormouse was there, not moving and hardly breathing, unconscious on a satin pillow. "The best I can do- No amount of hot tea can awake him. Forever asleep after witnessing- in a rare moment of clarity- his last, you see- It is too hard to bear! But before his eyes closed for that final time, he told me something of dire importance. He did not judge, he did not condemn- he just was." The Hatter explained this with a frown, but with no sadness in his eyes… just acceptance of the fact.

"What did he say?"

"Oh. Nothing."

Alice furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Why-?"

"What he told me was more than speaking- more than words have power to say! If I told you, showed you… Your mind would never be the same. To protect you- to protect Wonderland- he swore me to promise…" A breathless sob filled the room with dismal melancholy, and Alice could hardly bear it. She crept forward, the Hatter watching her, wary as a shark. Slowly, ever so slowly, Alice wrapped her pale arms around the Hatter's even paler body.

There were so many things she wished to say: It's ok- I trust you- Just let it out- I understand- …But when Alice tried to speak, all she managed was a wordless sound that somehow said everything but nothing at all.

The Hatter looked up to see accepting tears welling up in her eyes, to forgive all the things that he'd done- that he will do. And it sparked his own flood barrier to break in turn, causing cleansing tears to stream down in abundance. Alice cradled the much larger man in her arms, effortlessly clearing the Hatter's doubts. The leaf fan lay forgotten on the bed beside them.