Still not owning Boosh. I sent them food but… I apparently need money to buy it… never knew. You learn something new everyday. :L

So, so, so, so unbelievably sorry that I forgot about this one. So I am updating it now!

He was dying. Falling. Fading into the bleak background. He ran a hand down his cheek, along the sharp contours. He wished he'd stopped him, thrown the helmet back at him but he hadn't. Howince, angst, character death.

For the one you love

"Vince!" He screamed and pulled me into his arms. His strength crushed me, clearly the jazzercise was working. I was thinking of starting one but called Numancise. It's like Jazzercise but with Gary Numan instead of jazz.

"Hey." I gulped, my words starting to lodge in my throat. "I… I couldn't go and I guess you were the thing that made me fight harder than I had before. I just couldn't leave you and I know I shouldn't have cheated death but I just felt…" He smiled and pressed a finger to my lips.

"Vince, shut up please." I smiled and nodded; simply answering with "K" He smiled and crunched our lips together. "I've loved you too, since the beginning. How did you cheat death?" I shrugged and clicked my fingers.

"It just happened like that. Why? Does it bother you?" He shook his head, my lips still inches away from his.

"Bother? Why the hell would it bother me?" I shrugged and pulled away from him, turning my head to face the clear setting sun. "Vince, what's wrong?" I shrugged again, shaking away his arms.

"Honestly? It feels wrong." I finally whispered, keeping my eyes on the setting sun.

"What feels wrong?" Howard asked and followed my eyes. "Vince, I'm your boyfriend now tell me! D'ya want me to get Gary?" I instantly shook my head and sighed, staring at my hospital bed.

"That's it, us, the whole boyfriend thing. I dunno, I love you, believe me I do, more than I can say but I… I dunno I guess you're too good for me." He frowned, shaking his head. "Really, I think you deserve better. Howard, I just can't, I just be this thing you need me to be. I can't like jazz, I can't listen to you rant on about Bobby Trumpetshoes, I just can't and that's the perfect person for you. I tried Howard, I tried to listen to jazz but my neck and my allergies it just didn't work and I tried listening to you but I just couldn't because I was missing Peacock Dreams. Oh Howard, I've tried so hard to be this… thing, but I can't be. I just can't make myself be something I'm not." Howard sighed shakily and raised his eyes to meet mine.

"Are you breaking up with me?" I gulped aloud and sighed, taking his hands.

"I think you warrant someone better. That person is not me." Howard nodded but pulled me into his arms and kissed me once more. "You're really not getting it are you?"

"That's the thing though Vince, I think it is you. I love you more than anything and I cannot just let the best thing in my life walk away. Vince, I don't like people touching me yeah? But with you, it's different. I can't sleep unless I see you in the bed opposite me and if we break this off then it just won't be the same. You said it yourself that I was the thing helping you cling onto your last bit of life, does that mean anything to you?" I closed my eyes, tight, trying to block out the needy tone in his voice.

"You don't understand. That means more to me than anything but…" He cut my sentence short and opened the door.

"I understand, I understand perfectly well, you just don't love me like I love you." I hit my head on the window, harder than I thought and resisted screaming and swearing my head off.

Fuck, Shit, Fuck!

I mouthed to no one, secretly screaming them in my mind.

"I do!" I whined, more desperate than was necessary.

"Prove it." He darkly muttered, Dennis' voice ran in my head, like he'd said it that night of Howard's party. That night when me and Howard kissed, that magical night. I shakily sighed and placed a girly hand on my hip. It was not meant to look that girly, it just did.

"How? What can I possibly say that will prove to you that I love you more? I came back to life for you. I gave my fricken life for you. Does this not show I love you? For Christ's sake Howard, what do you want me to do? Climb to the top of Big Ben and scream it? Because I will if it'll prove it." Howard scoffed and dropped his gaze to the floor.

"You wouldn't?" His words dripped with sarcasm, my face remained completely serious.

"Wouldn't I?" He raised an eyebrow, my arm dropping to my side. "If you're just gonna be sarcastic then maybe we should end it." It was a thoughtless sentence but it just somehow came out with out me noticing it. His face suddenly turned especially serious than mine was. I nodded, pretended I didn't care but I did, so much.

"Vince, I believe you. I know you do and if I could turn back time then I would give anything to be in your shoes because you do not deserve this but I can't." I smiled my heart stitching in my chest. "Vince?" I gasped and leant against the bed.

"S'ok, just a little… pain in my… chest." His eyes swirled with concern as I fought the pain that swelled in my torso.

"You sure little man?" His eyes conveyed all that needed to be said; he was worrying and panicking more than he ever had. "Vince!" I fell silent before fluttering my blue eyes open and smiling.

"Actually, let's re-think that theory?" I burst into laughter and so did he. "Fuck that, I did not crash for nothing. We are going to date and you are going to like it or lump it!" I faught back the pain that shot through me like a lightning bolt.

A/N: Angsty chapter because I have decided that love stinks and is not worth the pain it causes when your heart gets broken so I have taken my anger out on Howard and Vince, sorry dudes, didn't mean to. I'll give you a happy chapter next.