All of you are so sweet with all of your wonderful reviews, they're so inspiring!
This chapter is for Signal the Rifleman! You're such a lovely person :)
Living the Lie: (February, Part 2.)
February 10,
1975.
Whenever she wakes her thoughts are usually incoherent due to nightmares. But for one of the first times in a long while, she doesn't recall having a nightmare. It's in that moment that she realizes she's tightly coiled around something and she has the worst crick in her neck. She dares to open her eyes, and realizes that this something is actually a somebody. The first thing she wonders is, 'how the hell drunk did I get this time?'. But it all comes back to her and without looking up, she knows who she is clinging to.
Even with the realization, she doesn't dare move just yet. She won't even be able to look him in the eyes because now he's going to see her as weak and timid. She's more afraid that he'll know now that he has a chance to control her just like everyone else has realized in the past. As much as she tried to keep up the appearance that no one could control her, that she was her own person, she knew it wasn't true. She still let other people influence what she did. Edmund, Rachel, Richard, Ben, Jack. She let all of them influence her in one way or another. Not that her sister had ever done so in a bad way, but she'd done it nonetheless.
She's not thinking straight when she untangles herself from him as carefully as possible. She's even proud when he barely moves a muscle and continues sleeping. Before she can fully comprehend it, she's dressed in jeans and a 70's shirt with strange floral patterns and she's running. She will not be coerced into any other stupid things. She's not going to let another person influence her life. She just wants to be alone. Being alone is so much better then all of this. The words of her past and what Ben has done to her never should have left her mouth, never should have been heard by his ears. She didn't know why she even told him, everything had just come out of their own accord.
There was no way for her to know how long she spent running before she ran straight into Jin doing security runs. It made her remember she was supposed to work a shift in the motor pool today. Within a second she realized how much she didn't care about that. She didn't tell Jin what she was doing, instead she simply grabbed him by the lapels of his jumpsuit and told him to give her the code to the security fence that kept their little society safe from what was on the other side.
It had taken all of five minutes to coerce the code from the Korean. He barely fought her about going to do whatever it was she was going to do, and she'd be damned if she even knew what she was going to do. But she had to get away from here. She knew damned well she could be beyond the fence and out of their territory before anyone could get to Sawyer and tell him she'd completely lost her marbles. And if she ran into the 'hostiles' beyond the fence and got killed, what did she care? She had absolutely nothing left anymore. She was in 19-freaking-75. There was nothing for her here and Jack had left her.
Pretending she felt nothing, pretending she was immune to peoples words and peoples influence left her an empty shell of her former self. She hates who she's become on this island. She would give just about anything to be anybody else these days. And before she knew it, she was through the fence and turning it back on from the other side before she ran off on the other side.
She couldn't say how long she was out there, she got the feeling it was a few hours. But she knew it was long enough that people were most likely trying to find her. Sawyer was probably throwing a fit. And it was in that moment that she stopped and sat for a moment that she heard the footsteps. She stood back up immediately and turned, coming face to face with Richard Alpert.
"What do you think you are doing out here?" he asked immediately, studying the look on the blondes face. There was something about her eyes that made him think twice about pulling his gun on her and simply shooting her like his people would normally do. He still didn't pull his gun, even when she looked at him with something akin to anger and stalked up to him, both her hands planting on his chest and shoving him backwards. He didn't fall, but he did stagger back a few steps.
"This is your fault!" she growled out immediately, not sure where she gained the gall to do what she was currently doing. Shoving Richard around like he was nothing, like he couldn't hurt her if he really wanted to. "You brought me to this damned island, this is all your fault!!"
Richard stared at her, uncertain about who she even was or what was going on. He put his hands up slightly as a sign of peace. "Calm down," he stated, his voice eerily calm. "I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about, I'm afraid I don't even know who you are. Though.. apparently you know who I am. Or you think you do."
Juliet narrowed her eyes. "Don't tell me to calm down, I know exactly who you are, Richard Alpert," she warned him. "And I know that you know all about John Locke," she pointed out before he could say anything. "You bring me to this place in 2001," she stated. "Why me?! Why the hell did you need me?! I couldn't do a damned thing!"
Richard was silent as he watched the anger playing out over her features. The pain, the sadness, the regret, the grief. "What's your name?" he finally asked.
"Juliet.." she muttered.
"You're one of us," Richard stated casually, studying her once more. She didn't seem like their usual recruit. In fact, she didn't seem like she belonged with their people at all.
Juliet glared at him. "The 21st century version.." she admitted. "And I was one of you," she stated, jabbing a finger into his chest. "Because you sons of bitches controlled me, manipulated me, wouldn't let me go home!" She thought about slapping him, punching him, kicking him below the belt. Anything that might get some sort of reaction from him other than that blank stare. "Do you know what you people made me?"
He sighed slightly. Clearly the blonde before him had taken as much as she could handle and a little bit more from this island. She was quite obviously on the edge at the moment and he wondered what he should tell her. He simply went with truth. "Well, Juliet.." he began. "I'm sure you think its perfectly fine to blame us for whatever you've done and become, but the fact of the matter is," he told her. "You are the only one who can control who you are and what you do."
"I never said I didn't take responsibility for what I've done," she pointed out angrily. "You put me under the impression that I was coming here to save people you asshole," she growled out. "All I've done for almost four years is kill them! I admit that no one sat there forcing me to kill who I have, I killed for my freedom, for my own life.. for someone else's. But it didn't matter what I did for you people, you never let me leave."
He was taken aback by her words. Most people never took the blame for the people they've killed, they try to blame it on anybody else that could have influenced them. Yet here was this woman, accepting what she'd done. And he wondered if that was why she was losing it so badly. "You should speak in lower volumes," he warned her. "I'd like to keep talking, but if my people hear you, I can't guarantee your safety, Juliet."
"I don't want your protection," she told him immediately. "I don't care if your people kill me, I don't care what they do to me," she shot out.
Richard frowned now. "Then what do you want, Juliet?"
Juliet opened her mouth to respond, but she was hit with the knowledge that she really had no idea. She noticed he took a step towards her and she immediately retreated back a step in response. It took her a moment to realize she'd even done so, and this time when he stepped towards her she stood her ground. "I'm not afraid of you," she told him, proud that her voice didn't betray her actual feelings of fear. She was realizing how blatantly stupid this was, to come running out here. To start pushing around a man that even after three years of knowing, she truly knew nothing about.
"Is that so?" Richard questioned, coming nearly nose to nose with the blonde before him. "If you had said that five minutes ago when you were pushing me around, I may have believed it," he pointed out, arching an eyebrow up at her inquisitively. "But your posture, the tone of your voice, even the look in your eyes right now says otherwise." He had to admit to himself that he was grasping at straws here, because she was giving absolutely nothing away to him. She hadn't been lying, she truly was one of them. He'd know that ability to hide yourself anywhere. "Are you here because you don't want me to bring you to the island?"
She almost said yes. She almost said yes so that she would have a reason for being out here. But she couldn't say yes. What if he listened and truly never brought her here? What if Rachel's cancer coming out of remission hadn't been a lie? If she never came here.. Rachel would die anyways. And then she would still having nothing to live for, except she'd have that nothing in the real world. At least here.. at least she knew Rachel lived if she was here. She had proof of that. "No.." she answered after a moment.
Both of his eyebrows arched in response. That hadn't been the answer he expected, but he supposed she had her own reasons for that. "You have absolutely no idea what you're doing out here, do you Juliet?"
Juliet was surprised at how close he kept his proximity. At how much he wasn't paying attention to her hand that had crept slow behind him towards the gun tucked at his lower back, casually. In another moment she realized how wrong she was though. Because then she found herself twisted around and slammed into a tree, her arm held tightly behind her and Richard holding her body against the tree with his own.
"That was a very nice try.." he told her, his voice the epitome of calm and serene. "I give you credit, you nearly had my gun." Pain shot through him suddenly and he felt himself go down, the gun taken from his hand almost immediately.
Juliet turned and pointed the gun down at him quickly as he sat holding his lower extremities. "I don't care how long you've been around Richard, no man will ever find a way to make a swift kick to the testicles feel nice."
Richard caught his breath after a moment and glanced up at her. He definitely had to give her credit for that. Something else caught his eye behind her. "Ellie, NO!" he called out, but not fast enough.
The pain seared through her before she could fully comprehend what was even happening. She heard something, she was pretty certain it was a gunshot. Then there was nothing, everything went dark and she felt like she was falling. She just never felt herself land.
Two and a half hours ago..
"James!"
Bang.. Bang.. Bang..
Sawyer groaned and opened his eyes. The crick in his neck was the worst and he forgot momentarily why he was on the bathroom floor. After another bang he realized it was the front door and he sat up, stretching his aching body and heading towards the front door. He swung it open and stared at Jin and Miles on the other side. "What the hell do you two want?" he muttered.
"Juliet," Jin said quickly. "She.. go to hostile.. hostile terri-territory," he stated, trying to grasp the English words correctly and string along the sentence.
"She what?" Sawyer growled out immediately. "When?!" and that was when he remembered why he'd been asleep on the bathroom floor. Because she'd relented and told him her entire story about how and why she was on the island. His eyes immediately darted to the kitchen table where the abandoned tub of ice cream had been left forgotten and sat melted and leaking onto the table. He didn't wait for either of the answers to the questions he asked. "How did she get the damned code?"
"I.. I give code.." Jin admitted with a frown. "I.. not know what she.. was doing. She said.. was important."
Miles intervened before Sawyer could hit the Korean. "Getting pissed at Jin isn't gonna help man," he told him. "Security tapes show her going through the fence forty-five minutes ago," he stated. "When she didn't come back Jin got worried and told me what happened, we came straight here."
"Does Horace know?" Sawyer questioned.
"I do," came the man in question's voice as he came towards the group with Jerry and a few other men in tow. "We're going to search, Jim.." he assured the man, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know why she went over there, at the moment.. I don't care," he stated. "It just matters that we find her and get her back here safe and sound."
Sawyer trailed his fingers through his hair and tried to calm down. He never should have pushed her. He shouldn't have asked. He should have let her drink it all away and kept his damned mouth shut. She'd thrown up over it of all things and then continued to tell her story. He hadn't tried to stop her. He thought maybe if she got it all out in the open that maybe she'd feel better. Instead she'd panicked the morning after and run off. She could get killed. She could already be dead, and that would be his fault, wouldn't it?
"Sonuvabitch!" he growled out, kicking the door frame to vent out his frustrations. This couldn't be happening. First Daniel left on the sub, now Juliet had taken off to the hostiles. He was tired of people running away from him.
"I think it would be best if you stayed here, Jim," Horace stated softly, sending the other men off to start searching with a wave of his hand. "You're angry, scared.. frustrated, it's understandable but these things won't help--"
"Listen," Sawyer seethed out. "She was one of my people before she was one of yours," he shot out. "I ain't gonna sit here and kick my feet in the damned sandbox waitin' for you guys to go look and hopefully find her.."
Horace sighed but nodded. "Very well.."
February 11,
1975.
Nothing. Twenty-four hours of searching led to absolutely nothing. They'd even looked through hostile territory. No hostiles, no Juliet, nobody.
Sawyer was seething after the first few hours. After half a day passed with no sign of her, no trail of where she could have gone, he'd gone from angry to enraged. She couldn't just disappear. She had to be somewhere and they obviously just weren't finding her. But by the eighteenth hour that anger and rage became worry and concern when they found a pool of blood. There was no blood trail, just one pool of blood where somebody or something obviously had been at some point.
By twenty-four hours a few people had given up and gone to get rest, vowing they'd come back and continue to search again in a few hours. He trudged on through the jungle along with Miles, Jin and Horace. Relentless, exhausted, and even a little frightened for the blonde. Regardless of what he used to think about her, she was indeed his friend.
After thirty hours, Jin and Miles dragged him defeated back to the barracks for rest while other people picked up the search again. He didn't sleep though, he could only think of how much this reminded him of Claire. Taking off while they were asleep and not being able to find her. This had to be his fault, he must have pushed her too far. Still, this was over the top even for somebody who kept so much to herself, wasn't it? Or had she just held it in for so long that she just lost it? He's done that a few times in his life.
But he always came back. Where was she? He fell asleep with that question running rampant through his brain. His dreams were that of blonde hair, blue eyes, guns, smoke monsters, and big and little Ben taking her away.
Later that day..
"They're looking for her."
Richard looked over at Eloise. He shook his head at her slightly in response. "What's your point?"
Eloise frowned in response. "My point, Richard.. is that we cannot keep her here forever, they are going to continue searching, just leave her body somewhere and they'll find her eventually."
"In case you forgot, you're the one that shot her," Richard reminded her. "And I believe you've met before, you had no reason to shoot her."
She sighed. "She was going to shoot you."
"She wasn't," Richard assured her with complete confidence. "She disarmed me, there's a difference."
Eloise arched both eyebrows up in response to that. "Fine," she relented. "What do you suggest we do with her?"
He glanced down at the blonde who lay limp in his tent. "I'll take her to the temple."
"Have you completely lost your mind?" Eloise questioned immediately. "You cannot take her to the temple, she's not--"
"She is," he assured her.
She narrowed her eyes. "That's impossible, what proof do we have that she's one of ours?"
Richard sighed and pulled back the flap of his tent. "Widmore!" he called out, and watched as the man came over without much question. When the man entered the tent he pointed down to Juliet. "You recognize her, do you not?"
Widmore was silent momentarily as he studied the blonde laying there. "What is she, the female version of you?" he questioned with slight surprise.
He avoided answering that. " Twenty years ago you said she told those people she knew Latin for the same reasons you did, did you not?"
"That's correct," Widmore answered.
Richard eyed them both for a moment before he picked up the woman in his arms. "Then I'll take her to the temple," he stated. "Unless you'd like to face the consequences of killing one of our own."
Eloise said nothing as Richard left the tent with the blonde woman in his arms. A minute of silence went by as she stood there with Widmore and she looked over at him. "This is a bad idea, Charles."
"Couldn't agree more.."
February 12,
1975.
Forty-eight hours of nothing now. Even Horace was saying it appeared to be a lost cause at this point. The only people he had left on his side, that she could still be out there somewhere and alive were Miles, Jin and Amy. Miles and Jin were out searching, and he was standing in the doorway of Juliet's bedroom, staring at the dream catcher above her bed.
"I'm sure there's a reason.."
Sawyer glanced back at hearing Amy's voice and noticed she was standing right behind him.
Amy smiled sadly at him. "She was drinking a lot the passed week, I mean.. I don't know if you noticed," she admitted. "I really should have tried to stop her, but.. she just seemed so sad, you know?" she asked softly. "I thought that maybe, she just needed to get it out of her system or something."
"Not your fault," he muttered, trying to ignore the headache that had formed when Juliet first went missing. "I made her stop last night," he admitted to Amy. "We talked a while, went to bed.. and I woke up to Miles and Jin bangin' my door down saying she was gone.."
She nodded slightly. "She told you about Jack.."
"Yep.." Sawyer answered without a second thought. He might as well pretend that he knew what she'd been telling Amy. It wasn't as though Juliet would have been telling the woman about little Ben and big Ben.
"I think it hurts more than she let on," Amy stated casually. "That he made those promises to do things together with her and was still in love with some other girl." She sighed slightly. "I think I would have been pretty destroyed if the guy I fell for was using me to prove he didn't love somebody else as well."
Sawyer was pretty sure he knew that feeling well. He leaned his head back against the door frame and closed his eyes.
Amy placed a hand on his arm. "You know, a week ago I told her it would be a mistake to come live with you again," she admitted with a look of guilt. She could tell when he looked at her in that moment that he had the exact same thought in his head. "I was wrong, you know.." she told him carefully. "I had you pinned for some guy that used his looks for what he wanted, but now I can see otherwise."
He wasn't too sure what to say about that. She'd hit the nail on the head for who he used to be before the island. His looks had been the only thing he really relied on in his line of work. That and his skills of lying and deception. He wondered how much of that had really changed, or if maybe he'd just gotten a hell of a lot better at it here on the island. "She ain't comin' back.. is she?" he wondered out loud. 'And neither were they..' he allowed himself to admit for one of the first times.
"People don't just disappear, Jim.." Amy assured him, her eyes softening in response. "She's out there somewhere, and someway or another, we'll find her."
Sawyer found himself nodding, even if he wasn't sure he believed her. On this island? Tons of people could just disappear. Like Claire. Hell, if people could time travel there was no doubt in his mind that people could also simply disappear.
February 13,
1975.
"Juliet.. is gone?" Jin asked Miles. "Not come back?" he asked next. He felt more than a little guilty for giving her the code to the fence. If he'd known she was going to run off into the jungle he never would have done it. He would have stopped her, or came and got them sooner. Maybe they would have found her three days ago instead of running around now and chasing their tails.
Miles had his head in his hands. He'd been sitting around for three days wondering if Sawyer had said something else to Juliet to make her go running off. He'd had it up to here at this point. He hadn't said a thing because he figured they would find her or she would come back of her own accord. But three days? He no longer thought those things. She was just gone.
Right now they were taking a quick break and sitting on some logs in the jungle. He glanced over at Sawyer who was standing by a tree and he stood, waltzing over to him. "What the hell did you say to her?!" he growled out. He grabbed the Southerner by the lapels of the Dharma jumpsuit and pushed him up against the tree. "Last time you sent her crying off to Amy's, what could you have possibly said to her this time?!"
Sawyer stared at him in shock. Normally he would have just thrown a punch, shoved him, done something. But for whatever reason he completely understood how Miles had come to the conclusion.
Jin stared between them, not getting in the way. He was aware something had happened before between Sawyer and Juliet and she'd run off. He didn't quite know what, but it had definitely been something. So he found himself watching to see how this would play out.
"Well?" Miles demanded. "Did you throw her personal life into her face again, tell her she should have gotten on the stupid sub again? Or did you just come up with a whole new way to piss her the hell off?"
"I didn't say nothin'," Sawyer told him, finally shoving him off. "She told me her issues with Ben, and I didn't say a damned thing, guess I shoulda'," he muttered out. "I didn't say a damned thing, bad or good.. I just kept quiet, and maybe if I'd said something, even if it just pissed her the hell off, maybe that woulda' stopped her, but obviously we ain't gonna know either way!" he yelled out, shoving Miles backwards a second time, this time for no reason.
"Do you.. think they're really going to come back?"
"Right," Miles stated with an eyeroll. "I'm sure. But unlike last time, this actually is my business," he told the man, shoving him backwards just as Sawyer had just done to him. "She's probably freaking dead and you're probably the reason!"he stated, placing blame in the only place he could think it would lay. "She's not a robot man, she has feelings! Maybe you should've acknowledged that."
Sawyer simply knocked him to the ground. "I know she has feelings, dumbass!" he told him immediately. "And I'm tellin' you that I didn't say a damned thing this time!"
"Juliet.."
Both men looked over at Jin.
"What, now you got somethin' to say about all this, Jackie Chan?" Sawyer asked with frustration. "I didn't--"
"No!" Jin interrupted in a louder voice. He shoved passed the two men. "Juliet," he said again, grabbing hold of the stumbling blonde who came out of the brush. He stared in shock. Her shirt was stained a rust color and had the smell of blood caked over it, her face was covered in dirt. Scrapes, bruises, all of them fresh.
"Sonuvabitch.." Sawyer muttered, going to Jin and Juliet's sides immediately.
Miles stared in shock for a moment, but after that he gained some sense of mind back and picked up his walkie. "Horace, Horace this is Miles, come in!" he said hastily.
"I'm here Miles."
"We found her, meet us at the fence!" he said, not elaborating any more than that as he turned the walkie off and tossed it into his bag, also heading to the small group. "Is she okay?"
Sawyer studied Juliet's face. There was obvious confusion and distress in her eyes and he wondered what the hell she could have been doing out here for three days. What had happened to her? And why the hell were her clothes caked in mud and blood? "Juliet.." he said softly, cupping her face between his hands and bringing her up to look at him. "You okay?" and it sounded lame, even to him. Obviously she wasn't okay.
She kept a death grip on Jin, not entirely sure what to do or say. Or what the hell she was even doing out in the jungle to begin with. So she just stared at Sawyer, dumbfounded. She searched his eyes to see if he knew what was going on. Clearly he hadn't a clue, so she looked to Miles and he looked just as uncertain as Sawyer did. Last thing she remembered was blurting out her issues with Ben to Sawyer and falling asleep on the bathroom floor.
"I think she's in shock.." Miles grumbled, concern growing further in the pit of his stomach. "C'mon girl, you gotta talk to us," he told her, reaching out for her hand. He was shocked when she recoiled from his touch and clung further to Jin who looked a bit uncomfortable and unsure what to do.
"We.. we go back.." Jin told them suddenly. "Need doctor.." he mumbled, trying his best to comfort the blonde. He watched as Sawyer and Miles stepped out of his way and he slowly led Juliet out of the jungle towards the fences with his arm wrapped protectively across her shoulders. By the time they arrived there, Horace was already waiting with a van and putting in the code to the fence to let them through.
"Oh my.." Horace muttered, staring at her. "What happened to her? Where did you find her?" he asked immediately, opening up the side of the van to help them get her inside.
"Don't know," Jin answered for them all. "No talk, she need doctor," he said, repeating his earlier statement. He sat in the back with her curled up at his side, and he wasn't sure what to do for her. She taught him most of the English he knew, how to bake a cake, and they shared a few lunches and dinners and he talked about Sun. He could tell Sawyer and Miles both looked a little hurt that she wouldn't even look at either of them now or let them touch her, he wasn't sure why it was him she clung to. He could only assume it was because he went to her first.
Two hours later..
The three men were sitting in complete silence outside the infirmary waiting to hear something. All of them had heard her freaking out inside when she'd been told she had been gone for over three days. Horace had exited the building after that looking harried and haggard.
"What's goin' on with her, H?" Sawyer asked immediately. He was pissed that they were allowed to go in with her, but apparently she hadn't wanted any of them in there with her either. If they were gonna find anything out they were obviously going to have to question their fearless leader and see what he would tell them.
Horace studied the concerned faces of the three men and frowned. "She.. doesn't seem to recall a single event from the passed three days," he admitted to them. "She just remembers going to sleep, then waking up in the jungle which is when you guys found her," he told them all.
Sawyer rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. She remembered going to sleep, but not getting up in the morning and running off? That meant she remembered everything she told him, which was a relief to him in some ways. But it also meant that there were three days that no one would ever know what went on during.
"You know.. even if they don't – I'll still have your back."
"There's something else.." Horace finally piped up. "Has she ever been shot?"
Sawyer stared at him, stunned at the question. "Not that I'm aware of.." he told him. Why would he ask that?
"There's a recently healed gun-shot wound to her right shoulder.." Horace admitted to them. "She's also got this strange scar on her lower back.." he explained. "She's never mentioned any of this? She says she's had the scar a while, but, she also said she doesn't remember ever being shot."
Sawyer, Miles and Jin all stared at him with uncertainty.
"No chance in hell she got shot and it healed in three days," Miles told him.
"Unlikely.." Jin agreed.
"Excuse me?"
The four men glanced at Rosie who had popped her head out the screen door.
"Juliet's asking for you, Mr. LaFleur.." Rosie informed them.
Sawyer didn't hesitate to duck out of the conversation and go inside the infirmary, following Rosie to where Juliet was. He paused when they entered, because Juliet had her back turned to them and was putting a new shirt on. He took the chance to study her lower back and he stared at the ugly scar that blistered it. The strange symbol looked like it had been put onto her back with a branding iron and he wondered briefly if it was some Others' initiation mark.
He shook the thought from his head, but his eyes remained on her pale complexion that was probably flawless at the norm, but now, was riddled with scrapes, cuts and bruises. He turned to Rosie and gestured for her to leave, which she didn't seem overly thrilled about but she did as he wanted regardless.
Once he checked that they were alone, he came up to her and watched as she turned to look at him. And where before, he'd come in with the intention of questioning her about if she was lying about her loss of memory for the passed three days.. he found that all the questions had completely wiped from his mind at the look on her face. She had such a look of loss and discomfort in her eyes that it tore through him at his core. "Hey.." he said, his voice filled with concern.
"I don't like having three days of my life go missing.." she told him immediately, taking a seat on the infirmary bed. She rubbed at her eyes with her hands. "I'm sure Horace told you, and I'll clarify this now.. I've never been shot," she told him. "The only time this could have happened was in the last three days," she stated, shoving aside the strap of the tank top she'd been given and showing him her healing bullet wound. "I want to know what happened to me out there.."
Sawyer took a seat beside her. He could already tell she was acting calm as best she could under the circumstances, and he could only imagine that if he were in her position, he'd probably be a lot less calm. "We'll figure it out.." he told her, though he wasn't too sure they really would. He felt it was necessary to say it.
"No we won't.." she told him, resting her hands on her lap. "James, I felt like I was waking up, and by the time I was even vaguely aware of what was going on, I was running through the jungle like a bat out of hell."
He narrowed his eyes in response. She was running before she knew what she was doing? "You're sayin' you weren't just knocked the fuck out for three damned days? You were running around doing.. well.. whatever.."
"I'm saying I don't have a damned clue!" she growled out in frustration. "Like I said.. I felt like I was just waking up, but I was running, from what.. I couldn't tell you, but I was scared shitless.."
Breathe in.. breathe out.. that was the only thing he could tell himself for a moment as he tried to figure out what to do. He did the only thing possible for now. He reached his hand out and covered her hand with his own. "It's gonna be fine.." he assured her.
"You don't know that!" she screeched out. "Look at me, James!" she demanded. "Three days! I went missing for three days and nobody knows a thing, I can't remember it at all.. what if it happens again?!" she questioned, feeling slightly hysterical. "I don't want to die on this stupid island.." she whispered, shifting and slumping forward in defeat. "I just.. all I've wanted was to go home.."
Sawyer had to take a deep breath to relax himself. He placed his hand underneath her chin and forced her to look him in the eyes, waited for her to do so. "Listen to me.." he said gently. "I'll sit on a chair in front of your damned door all night if you want me to, but there ain't no way in hell I'm gonna let this happen again, ya' understand me?" he asked her. "I'll protect you.."
Juliet felt her lips trembling in response as she tried to bite down and stop it. She was sick and tired of crying, of the nightmares, of all the insanity that happened on this island. But staying here was the only way she could get home and where would she be if she lost any hope for home? Instead she pulled her chin from his hand and stood, heading towards the door of the infirmary. She paused only for a moment and looked back at him. "I don't want your protection," she told him flat-out, her face going stone-cold. "I've had enough people offer that and look where it's gotten me so far.."
Sawyer was silent in response as she left. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and that woman had been a hell of a lot more than scorned. She was bathing in the pain others inflicted on her. He wondered how he hadn't seen that in her before they'd been forced to work together. He just sat there a little longer, wondering how anybody could hide all of that pain for so long without spontaneously combusting like she had the last few weeks. And at the last look on her face, he hoped she wasn't about to revert to the pre-time flashes Juliet.
()()TBC()()
Yes, that's right. February is going to have a THIRD part.. as ridonkulous as that sounds. Anyone who can figure out how I've made the shortest month of the year become the longest gets a cookie, because I can't figure it out. Hah!
We have any more months like this one, and this story will be a lot longer then originally planned.
-Sarah