This is my BIGGEST story (in my opinion) and I'm trying to make it perfect (my definition of perfect, see profile). So, here's chapter 4, published much earlier than I expected. Two chapters in one day! Enjoy ;) By the way, we're finally getting out of the 3rd person POV…it's annoying me. I was so damn close to crying while writing this chapter that it isn't even funny.
Title- A Raven and a Writing Desk
Summary- Mirana is a sweet (but sickly) little girl. Tarrant is the Royal Hatter's son and apprentice. What could they possibly have in common? Well, much more than either of them thought.
Disclaimer- **Checks Book's Author** Nope, I still don't own them.
Chapter 4: Losing You
"A penny for my thoughts? Oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar.
There was so much more after I'm a goner.
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing- funny when you're dead
how people start listening.
If I die young: bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses,
sink me in the river at down, send me away with the words of a love song.
The ballad of a dove, go with peace and love.
Gather up your tears; keep 'em in your pocket.
Save 'em for a time when your really gonna need up.
The sharp knife of a short life; well, I've had just enough time…"—If I die young by The Band Perry
Tarra, 9 years old
A year past, and Mirana and Tarrant grew closer by the day. Tarra was a little jealous, but thought nothing of it. They were merely friends and…Mirana couldn't forget her. Could she? No, what an absurd question! Preposterous. Mirana spent just as much time with her as she did with Tarrant, as far as she knew. Tarra found herself caring for Julia or Nennie (or both) more and more. Mirana usually joined her, but it was only when Tarrant wasn't at the castle. Tarra eventually stopped coming to the castle everyday. At first, it was every other day. Then once a week. Then every other weekend. And finally, she stopped all together. She decided Mirana had found herself a new friend- her own brother. Talk about being replaced.
Mirana, 9 years old
"Tarra? Tarra, where are you?" I shouted, running down the halls. I needed to see her; it was like she had been avoiding me all month! It was near brillig and I was growing tired. I walked around one or two more corners, thinking I heard her voice. There she stood with Tarrant, whispering angrily at him. I tucked my body behind the corner just enough so that they couldn't see me, but I could hear them.
"You know, Tarrant," she spat, "I miss my friend. It's like you're monopolizing her time! Let her be with whom she wants for heaven's sake! I can't believe you! I haven't had ten minutes with her alone since you started coming to the castle!"
"Excuse me, but I believe she has been choosing to be with me. I haven't asked her to be with me once in the last month. She trusts me, you know. She told me that she thinks you've been avoiding her. She said she misses you and wants to see you but she can't find you anywhere!" he screamed at her. I walked casually around the corner, trying to make it look like I hadn't heard any of it.
"Can't find who? Oh! There you are, Tarra! Where in Underland have you been? Come with me, we have much to do!" I dragged my friend by her arm away from Tarrant. "Let me just talk to him for one minute." I ran back to him- far enough so that she couldn't hear us. I smiled at him and touched his shoulder lightly. "I'll see you later?" I asked timidly.
"Of course, ye sillay gurl. Guhd night ta ye." We hugged briefly and I took Tarra to my room, where we talked the afternoon away. A mere 3 hours later, she told me she had to get home and feed the children. I bid her goodnight and waited in my room for Tarrant. I was anxious- we hadn't met this late in weeks. I felt my eyes start to close and I drifted off to Dreamland for a couple minutes…or hours.
I felt his hand on my shoulder. I could tell it was his- his fingers were calloused and rough, yet soothing in a way. I snapped my eyes open and smiled at him. He was staring in my face, watching me sleep. How sweet. I slowly sat up and stretched a little. I gasped as I realized that I was cold. I dropped down and burrowed under my blankets again. It was freezing!
"Mira?" I poked my head out of the blankets with a stupid grin on my face.
"Come one! Don't just sit there and watch!" Her smiled and kicked off his shoes. We crawled around under the blankets and tried to find each other. My bed was huge and it wasn't easy to seek out each other. He suddenly came out of nowhere and our foreheads bumped together.
"Ouch!" we both exclaimed. We collapsed on our stomachs and rubbed our foreheads. I knew I'd bruise, but he probably wouldn't. Nennie slammed their heads together all the time! I looked up at him, smiling again, and inspected his head. He looked fine, but I couldn't really see because of the darkness. He stared at each other for a while, just stared. He took my hand and immediately let go.
"What's wrong?" I asked a little hurt.
"Your hand…it's hot. Really, really hot." So that's why I was so cold.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"For what?"
"For the fact that my hand's too hot for you to hold," I mumbled. He suddenly seemed to get an idea. He disappeared and I dragged myself out from under the blankets. I saw him putting a glove on. I smirked and smoothed my hair down from being under the covers. He climbed back on my bed and held my hand tightly. The heat didn't affect him now that he had his glove on.
"Daddy, what're ya doin'?" asked Julia. I sat in the chair across from Daddy and Julia. He was writing something down on paper. Personally, I was curious as well, but I knew better than to ask. There were a few men looking over his shoulder. I felt like a little girl again. All the men around me were so much older.
"Nothing, baby. How about you and Mira go up and play dolls?" I smiled and stood, picking up Julia in my arms. I swung her in a quick circle, earning a giggle from the little blonde. Our skirts twirled out around us and our hair became slightly messy. I chuckled as well, and started toward the door.
"Love you, Daddy. Guhdnight!" Julia shouted past my shoulder. She jumped down from my arms and fumbled as she tried to walk away. I heard my father say something to the men before I was out of earshot.
"And there goes my life- my future, my everything. 'I love you, Daddy goodnight' is something I want to hear it every night. Both of them are so beautiful… So smart, you know? I wonder how they do it." I smiled to myself and walked a little faster, trying to follow Julia. I kept thinking about what my father said. Did he really mean it? He'd never told us that…Well, I was happier now- I knew my father loved me. I just wonder if he says the same of Iracebeth. She'll be the Queen after all. I better stop fussing over it…She has Illosovic. He's a good man- he'll take care of my beloved sister.
Two long weeks had passed since I'd seen either Tarra or Tarrant. I decided to go pay them a visit, you know, to make sure everything was okay. I hopped on my horse- Snow White- and rode off to Witzend. No one would notice my absence. After all, I'd only be gone for a matter of hours. It wasn't like I'd be gone for a few days, right?
In about one hour, I'd reached the Hightopp clan's territory. I rode carefully, making sure to watch out for people. It wasn't hard- most were standing still in shock, staring at me. I sighed, and rode with my head held high. The crowds thinned as I drew closer to Tarrant's house. Once I was there, I tied Snow White to a nearby tree- who was very cooperative- and knocked shyly on their door. The door was immediately whipped open. In front of me stood two little children- one a boy, one a girl. They looked to be a bout 6 years old to me, give or take a year.
"Who is it, Trina? Trent, please answer!" Tarrant called. I figured those were their names. I found the two of them adorable! I smiled politely.
"Is Tarrant of Tarra here?" When I spoke Tarra's name, Trina flinched. I considered some possibilities. Perhaps they didn't have a good relationship.
"I think she can come in," said Trent to Trina.
"Yeah, she looks okay." They smiled and led me into their home. It was quite amazing. There were so many different colors and clothing strewn everywhere. It was messy, but it was the organized kind of messy. I liked it.
"We're in here!" called an older voice. I followed it into a bedroom and gasped in shock. Tarrant and his brother- Tarrance, whom I've seen before- were sitting by a bed. I assumed their other siblings were off with relatives somewhere in the Wood. What surprised me was what was lying in the bed. Well, not a what, but a who. Tarra was lying there with her eyes closed, breathing deeply. From what I could see of her, she had a terrible rash covering every inch of skin. Her face was flushed, not covered with the red bumps. In the tiny folds of her neck were these dark areas of skin. They looked really hyper pigmented to me. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself- I didn't want to hyperventilate in front of them.
"Umm…hello?" I said, but it sounded like a question- and a rude question at that. "What…what happened?" I exclaimed. I felt myself freaking out, but didn't bother to stop.
"She has Scarlatina," whispered their mother. I looked at Tarrant.
"Scarlet Fever," he muttered. I sucked in a sharp breath and my eyes widened. That explained the rash. I went and stood next to Tarrant. I reached down and felt her forehead- it was hot.
"Her temperature?' I managed to get out.
"104," Tarrance replied simply. I bit my lip.
"What stage is she in?" I wondered. Please, please, do not let it be the second.
"The second stage." Upon hearing that, I mumbled a word that sounded odd in my voice. Tarrant reached behind him and found my hand, gripping it tightly. I let my tears fall silently. The second stage was dehydration. The third was recovery…that is, if the dehydration hadn't caused death already. I had done my fair share of research on the topic. I planned on working in the infirmary when Iracebeth was Queen.
"Have you any water?" I asked.
"Well, not enough to keep her alive and then have enough to keep the other children hydrated. I feel like a guddler's scut. I'm sacrificing her for the other kids. Is this so wrong?" asked Tarrant. I shook my head no, but I was silently thinking that the answer was probably supposed to be yes, this is terrible. I leaned down and rested my head on his shoulder so that I could whisper in his ear.
"You couldn't possibly help it, could you?" He shook his head no, tickling my nose with his orange hair.
"Suppose not. Can…can I come see you…after…?" he trailed off. I nodded slightly and let my tears flow freely now. I went over and kissed Tarra on the forehead. Her eyes opened.
"Hey…you came?' she asked weakly. I nodded, holding back a sob that threatened to break free. I squeezed her hand. "I don't know how much longer I'll-"
"Hush up right now. Don't you dare say that," I said, letting my sob free. I bent down and dug my head into her shoulder. He rested her hand on my back and rubbed slightly. "Don't…don't leave me, Tarra. This is…this is impossible."
"Nothing's impossible, Mira. Do this for me- everyday, think of six impossible things before you even eat breakfast. Please, just that one thing." I pulled back and wiped at my tears furiously.
"Sure. I love you, Tarra, maybe too much, but I…I have to go now. I love you so much," I sobbed. She cried now too.
"Love you too, Mira. I'll see you in Heaven, alright? Don't you worry you're little head about me…I'll be better there. Keep yourself healthy for everyone's sake. They all need you more than you know." She let her tears drench her face. She knew it- she knew she was dying. I kissed her forehead one long, last time. When I pulled away, I left my hand in hers for just one more minute.
"Good bye, my dear, beloved friend." I finally got the strength to let go of her and walk out the door. I tried not to look back at her. If I did, I would certainly not be able to leave. I kept my head down and my hands clasped behind me. I waved a sad goodbye to Trina and Trent, whom both waved back. I heaved myself onto my horse once I was outside and rode quickly back to Crims. The wind whipped my hair into my face and I let my tears fall. They stung my skin as the air cooled them. I stormed into the castle and ran to my room. Racy grabbed my arm.
"What's wrong?" she demanded.
"LEAVE ME THE BLOODY HELL ALONE! JUST LET GO! EVERYONE HAS TO LET GO AT SOME POINT!" I shrieked at her. She let go of my arm in shock and I ran off to my room. I dug my face into my pillow and screamed incoherent words, taking out my anger in a way that hurt nobody…except me. And possibly the pillow.