I know, I promised all fluff no angst. And technically this isn't angst, but sad depressed Ciel who is depressed and sad. But I just finished season 2. AND FFFFFFF. I cried, legit. It was sad shit...
So spoilers if you haven't finished season 2 yet. OOC Ciel. Just…yeah.
Chapter III-That Butler; Nothing More
Rated: K
My butler was simply...just a butler. Nothing more, nothing less. Before, I never bandied the thought of Sebastian being anything more than my servant.
But now...I felt as if he was no longer my servant. No longer was he my butler. He was just a butler.
He needn't protect my life any longer; I could no longer die. I was immortal, a status that many mortals wished to achieve. The foolish can have it; I have no use for immortality….
Sebastian neither smiled nor smirked since that unfortunate day. He served me, like always. Nothing had changed in our daily routine. In the morning, Sebastian would awaken me. He would brew tea that did not exist, pour the nonexistent tea into a cup that I would then pretend to drink.
Every afternoon, I would complete paperwork. Of course, the documents were written by Sebastian. Every night, they would be burned.
I ate imaginary cake during breaks, and was served soups and steaks crafted from the finest air available.
Nothing had changed. Yet, everything had.
Sebastian was mechanical. He reacted to nothing. His face was permanently carved into a dry, blank expression. If he smiled, certainly his skin would crack.
Sebastian's cocky attitude always bothered me, when I was still mortal. Yet, for whatever reason, my immortal state found me craving Sebastian's smile.
My desperation for the demon's affection was sickening. My thoughts drifted immediately to a cerulean-eyed boy. Grimacing, I couldn't help but acknowledge that perhaps, Alois and I weren't quite as different as I wished to believe.
Every night, quarter till the turn of the new day, Sebastian would lay me down to retire.
"Sebastian…" I would say.
"Yes, lord?" He would always reply.
"…Never mind," The demon would bow, and exit my quarters.
I had not been called "My lord" in a very, very long time. I was no longer "his lord". I was simply a lord. A lord he was doomed to serve for all eternity. I was a burden upon his shoulders. With us bound to an immortal contract, never again would Sebastian eat.
Secretly, I originally was thrilled to have been granted eternal life. As sickening as it sounded, I was thrilled to be able to spend an eternity with that damned butler.
It was foolish to believe the feelings would be mutual. A demon, caring about a human? It was sinful. It was unheard of. It was low. The thought of it was pitiful.
For I was unclean, unwanted, unnecessary. Without my soul, I was nothing more than another disgusting being to the butler, the butler that was once mine.
But I was Ciel Phantomhive, a proud, high figure of nobility. So, why was it that every night, I mourned over such trivial matters, such as the lack of love from a creature who was created with no heart?
For I was a demon; I do not sleep. Instead, I silently wept over what had never been until the morning sun rose.
A/N: ...I'm still stung over the ending. I don't know whether I like it or not D: This chapter will have a sequel. At some point. There are some weirdly phrased sentences in here and I do no like them…At all.