A/N hey guys i'm soooooo sorry about the delay in the new chapter, this week has been stressful and out of control! First I went out of town, then we had a snow day, and then the power went out IN SCHOOL FOR THE WHOLE DAY!

well, not really. It went out during the begging of 3rd period and came back on around the end of 7th period. but they let some people go home early--if you had someone call you to tell you they were going to pick you up.

even the phones were disconnected! There was no email either! For lunch they had to do IOU's LOL. their only contact was through radio and t.v.

oh, it was a down power line by the way.

Disclaimer: yeah, you kinda already know

REMEMBER WORDS IN ITALICS AND BOLD LIKE 'this' IS FOR WHEN MIKO SPEAKS FOR AVI!

R&R

Fears and Tears

"Everyone off the ice!" Peter's voice rung out over the ice as clear as a bell. I screamed in my head as I was pulled into the chilling water. My head was spinning as the creature holding me twirled me around. The Narnians shadows across the ice moved franticly as I was pulled into the deeper part of the water. My ankle throbbed painfully as teeth buried themselves into my flesh.

I swam hysterically in my fettle attempts to get free of the creature. My lungs burned with the need for air. Suddenly the creature released me and I floated to the top. Air flooded into my lungs, but before I could even get one breath out, the creature pulled me back down.

More pain erupted in my vision. The cold was excruciating, and it nipped at every part of my body. My clothes weighed me down every time the creature released me and let me catch a breath at the other side of the ice on the lake. Most of the ice at the top was crushed, and floating in little packs. I could see the kings and Narnians at the bank. None of them dared to venture into the water, but suddenly Edmund lurched forward.

My head dipped underwater as I surfaced again.

"Go back! It's coming for you!" I coughed.Sure enough, small forms under the ice and in the water were darting for the king. Edmund stopped, the water only up to his knees. Miko was behind him running along the shore in frenzy. My ankle was heavily bleeding, and I could feel the creature swimming around me. Stalking me like a shark would in the ocean.

I shivered bitterly from the frostbiting cold.

"Why does this always seem to happen to me?" I thought tartly. A small head popped out of the water. From what I could see, the creature was about the size of an average trash bin (not the big ones you throw things in, but the small pitiful ones you have to keep in you're room). The creature swam once again towards me, and it attempted to grab me. I was having a hard time holding my head above the water; it was even more painful to be pulled back under the water once again. But just as the creature thing pulled me under, another force grabbed my right arm; it's nails digging into my skin.

"I'm not a freaking chew toy!" I screamed in my head, before punching whatever had a hold of my right arm. My strength was draining from me, and I could feel the cold settling into my body. My lungs screamed for air, but I knew I could hold longer. Back at home I took swimming lessons, and I had learned to hold my breath for long periods of time. But this was a somehow different situation, could it be because something was chewing the hell out of my leg? From were I was at, I could make out a flying shape above the water. All I wanted was to get out of this water. I got my wish.

A large eagle swooped down and grabbed to in it's giant, and I mean enormous feet. I was quickly lifted from the water, the creature this still committed to eating my leg.

"Get the frick off of my leg!" I attempted to shake off the fish thing, but my leg wouldn't budge. The eagle thing flicked its tail at the fish thing, and it was sent plunging back into the water. Wait, did I just say tail? Eagles don't have freaking tails! This was no eagle! At this point I really didn't care—I mean, some freaky fish thing just tried to make me lunch! I didn't even have the energy to fight at the talons digging into my skin. Everything was cold, and going dark…

Edmund watched in horror as the griffin set down and unconscious Avery on the ground. He immediately ran up to her, followed by his brother, Miko, and some other Narnians including a centaur doctor. The doctor pushed her way through the crowd and examined the girl.

"Do we have any extra clothing that is dry?" She demanded, "This girl needs to get out of the wet clothing." No one moved, "NOW!" Everyone scrambled. The doctor turned Avery on her side, and she instantly upchucked a mouthful of water. Avery started shivering violently, and the doctor viciously started rubbing Avery's arms in her attempt to bring warmth back to the girl. The girl shivered and attempted to move away, but stopped when her ankle began bleeding heavier.

"Now, Avi, you can't go and get yourself killed." J.J. said amused.

"Shut up." I growled, "It was the stupid freaking fish thing." J.J. smiled.

"I know, but you can't die." J.J. said, "That would not be a very good thing."

"Don't you think I know that?" I asked shoving my friend slightly to the side as we sat under a tree. My ankle was throbbing as I sat down, but there was no blood there. Only a simple scar where the fish thing had bitten me.

"Avi, you're going to die if you don't get help soon." J.J. said seriously.

"Freaking!" I mumbled under my breath. There was a chuckle from beside me.

"Peace, dear one." Aslan purred, "It is not yet you're time to join us here."

"Then what will happen while I'm here happily partying in your country?" I asked sarcastically to the lion. I dared not look at him, for I was afraid of him. The only way I seem to be able to talk to him. He seemed too great for the good of me. Aslan let out a hardy laugh this time.

"There is no need to fear me, small one." He laughed, "I will not harm you." I turned to look at the lion, but ended up looking at the ground below me out of fear of the great golden lump of fur beside me. Aslan pressed his nose against my shoulder and I felt a wave of calm rush through me.

"Look at me, daughter of Eve." Aslan ordered. I was forced to look up, and came face to face with menacing amber eyes. J.J. let out a short laugh beside me.

"Avi, you have foolish courage at times." She said affectionately. I didn't break contact with the great lion. His amber eyes bore into mine, and I felt my eyes burn slightly.

'Is this like a give pain to Avi day or something?' I thought to myself. Aslan broke contact with me and looked over the endless rolling hills.

"You're time of greatness will come soon, young one." Aslan said, "Until then, you must take no risks." The lion paused, "Believe in that you trust. You will stay with Jillian until you are well enough to wake again." Aslan rose to his paws, "No questions asked, you will live."

I suddenly felt small under Aslan's bearing eyes. One quick blow and the lion could kill me. But that was not what I feared. The lion carried great emotion with him—something I would never understand. A mixture of anger, sadness, happiness, pity, solitude, understanding, and most of all courage. It seemed more then that, but that was all I could pick up. His dark emotions were hidden deep away locked to never come out. I felt a shiver run down my spine. I could not even imagine what it felt like to bear all of what Aslan was bearing. I looked once more into the lion's amber eyes and saw… sympathy?

"A shadow is bearing down over Narnia." J.J broke into my train of thought, "Wself is no longer contained. He will strike Narnia slowly and painfully. Destroying it from the inside out, like a maggot rotting away on the inside of an apple." Aslan nodded in sad agreement.

"Dark times are upon Narnia, and all we can do is watch our land crumble?!" A new voice joined into the conversation. I looked over, surprised to see a horse with wings. Since when did horses have wings? Is this Pegasus or something?

"I am afraid so, Fledge." Aslan answered, "You're time in Narnia has passed. What is to come to Narnia is in the hands of fate." Fledge snorted, but stayed silent.

"Well can't you give those hands a little shove?" I suggested, "You know? Stir the pot. Don't let this happen to Narnia, strike back!" Aslan looked honestly at me.

"What's done is done." He said, "Things are hardly ever changed in certain circumstances." I swallowed in fear. What was to come to the country I had been brought to?

"Edmund, Phillip, you have to get Avi back to the castle." Peter ordered. Edmund stepped up in disbelief.

"That's three day's ride at the most!" Edmund growled, "She could die by then!" Peter stepped back at his brother's fury, but kept his temper. He knew his brother was emotional over Avery because she looked like Jillian.

"Avery can't be kept in conditions like this." Peter said motioning to Avery's ankle, "She'll die if she stays here, we can at least give her a chance." Edmund paused and glanced down at the girl barely breathing, curled up beside a griffin while the centaur doctor fed a small fire beside her. His eyes darkened at the thought of the girl he had met in the woods, dying. He suddenly remembered when he had met Jillian…

Edmund gasped as he was thrown into a freezing room. The thing at the door roughly pushed him against the wall and chained his legs. When he had finally left, Edmund looked around.

"She got you to?" A small voice asked from the cell to the right of him. Edmund looked at it curiously.

"Who are you?" He growled with as much courage and fear as he could manage to get into his voice. There was a rusty laugh.

"Have you got a thorn in you're pad or something?" The person asked amused, "You don't have to be so snippy. I'm the only one here who really can't hurt you. I'm Jillian by the way."

"Edmund." He answered cautiously.

"Morgrim and his wolf buddies got me, how 'bout you?" Edmund realized the girl was trying to be his friend.

"I'd rather not say…" Edmund looked down at his feet in shame. He looked up to see muddy brown eyes and dark brown hair in the cell beside him. Her eyes were full of sympathy. Edmund knew instantly he liked this girl… for some reason.

I sat with my head in my hands. My head hurt and was throbbing painfully. In fact, every part of my body was in some type of pain right now. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"It'll all go away soon, Avi." J.J. assured me, "Edmund is taking you home." I looked at J.J. when she said 'home', hope stirring inside me.

"You mean 'home' as in 'Home'?" I asked. J.J's eyes darkened slightly.

"Sorry, I meant Cair Paravel." Melancholy flickered in my friend's eyes.

"Don't you miss our real home?" I asked cautiously. J.J. was silent for a moment.

"At times." She answered, "But I know it's in good hands. People miss me, but everything is better then ever before." A light breeze swept through and flowed around J.J's hair, making it hover slightly.

"Do you ever think…?" I started, "That… this is all just a dream…?" I stopped and looked at my friend, "That… one day we're going to wake up and everything is going to go back to normal?" J.J. sighed.

"No matter how much we both hope, I can't come back to life." J.J. said softly, "This is not a dream. The pain is real. The emotions are real." Something flickered in J.J's eyes, "Everything is real. Almost like in a movie… a movie that never ends." J.J. paused and looked up at something invisible in the sky, "You're at Cair Paravel now, it's time for you to go. Bye Avi."

"What? J.J. NO!" I cried, "I don't want to go back!" I shot up…

I was in a dimly lit room alone. There was no one here. Not even Miko, who was constantly at my side. I decided to go and take a look around. My movements were stiff and painful as I lifted off the sheets that were warm from me sleeping in them and stepped onto the sold floor.

Pain shot up my leg and I fell to the ground in a heap. Right, I had clearly forgotten about my ankle. Stars exploded in my vision and tears welded in my eyes. Suddenly I wasn't alone in the room. The candle that was lit next to my bed blew out and a dark shadow loomed in front of me. I wanted to cry out in terror, but I couldn't. A large gray and black wolf formed in front of me.

"Greetings, daughter of Eve." The wolf growled, "I am Wself. It is a pleasure to finally meet you." I attempted to scoot back but was stopped by the bed, "Don't try to run from me, please. I am only here to show you something." The wolf stepped forward and I swung out my arm, making the wolf jump back, "I give you my word I won't hurt you." I seriously doubted that. Wself sighed and lurched forward, touching his cold nose to my forehead. Images flashed in my head suddenly.

"I'm so sorry about Jillian, Mrs. Nehring." My mother sobbed. Emotions flooded through me as I realized where I was at, 'No! I DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS!' I cried in my head. But I didn't seem to be controlling my body. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I made my way to a motionless body. There, was J.J's motionless body.

***

"Don't leave me, Jillian!" Mrs. Nehring cried in agony. Maria was sitting petrified in a corner, crying. Mr. Nehring was sitting in a chair, sobbing into his hands. My throat clenched as I made my way to my best friend.

"Please, J.J." I said softly, "We all need you…" Tears flowed down my cheeks again as the beeping sound continued, telling us that her heartbeat had stopped. Doctors and nurses rushed in and I made my way over to Maria and sat down next to her pulling her into my lap.

"I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Nehring… you're daughter has passed." The doctor said. Mrs. Nehring screamed in agony as her oldest daughter was covered in a blanket and pushed out of the room. Maria was sobbing into my chest, and she looked up at me with soft brown eyes.

"Is J.J. in a better place now?" She asked, tears streaming down both of our cheeks.

"Yes, Maria." I whispered, "J.J… is in a better place… she's at peace now… no more pain…" I kissed the little girl's forehead softly as she let out a small cry of pain. J.J. was the one person she had looked up to.

"J.J. is with the angels now." She sobbed. I nodded as I pulled Jillian's sister closer to me.

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